#579 How to Plan Like a Homesteader No Matter Where You Call Home, Part 1

#579 How to Plan Like a Homesteader No Matter Where You Call Home, Part 1

579: How to Plan Like a Homesteader No Matter Where You Call Home, Part 1

Would you consider yourself a natural planner, or is it challenging for you to plan ahead? If you think planning doesn’t come easily, then you share that trait with Kathi and Roger Lipp, but moving to the Red House has forced them to plan ahead. In today’s podcast they share their hard-won wisdom with all of us.

Even if you don’t live on acres in the wilderness, you can still apply these lessons to lessen the stress in your life. For example:

  • Are you prepared for extreme weather events or other emergencies in your area?
  • Have you been thinking longer term in your financial planning?
  • What home maintenance issues are going to turn into big problems without attention?
  • Are you taking the time to build practical skills?

Kathi and Roger give us some helpful ideas in all these areas and more. Listen and find out how you can experience more peace in your home by planning ahead.  

Sign up here to get an email when Part Two comes out next week, when we will learn seven more areas to think about in order to plan like a homesteader.

The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

 

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.
For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

  • Prepare before the need arises
  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

Are you a natural planner or is planning ahead a challenge for you?

Tell us in the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help, and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

Roger Lipp

Roger is a productivity and quality engineer for a Fortune 50 company.

Roger helps teams reach their full productivity potential by teaching them the practical and simple steps to reach their goals. Roger and his wife, author Kathi Lipp, teach communicators how to share their message through social media and email marketing.

He and Kathi coauthored Happy Habits for Every Couple with Harvest House Publishers.

Transcript

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#652 The Clutter Free Lifestyle: 10 Habits That Actually Work

#652 The Clutter Free Lifestyle: 10 Habits That Actually Work

Hey there, friend! In this encouraging episode of Clutter Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo reveal the top 10 habits they've developed since embracing a clutter-free lifestyle. This candid conversation offers listeners practical insights into how living...

#651 10 Surprising Things I No Longer Do as a Clutter-Free Mom

#651 10 Surprising Things I No Longer Do as a Clutter-Free Mom

Hey there, friend! In this compelling episode of Clutter-Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo explore the significant and often surprising habits they've relinquished to maintain a clutter-free lifestyle. Listeners will discover insights and practical advice...

#650 The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025

#650 The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025

650 – The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025Hey there, friend! If you've ever felt like your finances are a runaway train and you're just hanging on for dear life, this episode is your lifeline. In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya...

#570 Urge to Splurge? How to Manage Your Impulsive Shopping – Part 2

#570 Urge to Splurge? How to Manage Your Impulsive Shopping – Part 2

570: Urge to Splurge? How to Manage Your Impulsive Shopping – Part 2

Did you know the “urge to splurge” is a brain chemistry response and can last from 7 – 12 MINUTES? No wonder it can be a difficult mindset to break! In this Part 2 episode, Kathi and spending coach Paige Pritchard talk about brain chemistry and the way it affects our behavior. Today they finish discussing Paige’s five tools to managing your impulsive shopping. The conversation is fascinating. Here are just a few of the many highlights:

  • How to use an Urge Jar to change your behavior (and maybe save enough for a trip to Disneyland).
  • Making a list of what you want to buy is actually a healthy choice.
  • There is a big difference between an intentional buy and an impulse buy.

Haven’t listened to #569 Urge to Splurge? How to Manage Your Impulsive Shopping – Part 1? Click here.

As promised in the episode, here’s a link to Paige Pritchard’s Free Masterclass Why You Impulse Shop & How To Stop.

Join Kathi and friends for No Buy July! Click here to join her free Facebook community Clutter Free Academy, and get ready to participate in this No Buy challenge that can change your home and your life.

Sign up here for the Clutter Free Academy newsletter and be notified when future episodes are released.

Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity

 

Feeling overwhelmed? Wondering if it’s possible to move from “out of my mind” to “in control” when you’ve got too many projects on your plate and too much mess in your relationships?

Kathi and Cheri want to show you five surprising reasons why you become stressed, why social media solutions don’t often work, and how you can finally create a plan that works for you. As you identify your underlying hurts, uncover hope, and embrace practical healing, you’ll become equipped to:

  • trade the to-do list that controls you for a calendar that allows space in your life
  • decide whose feedback to forget and whose input to invite
  • replace fear of the future with peace in the present

You can simplify and savor your life—guilt-free! Clutter, tasks, and relationships may overwhelm you now, but God can help you overcome with grace.

Kathi and Cheri Gregory, co-author of Overwhelmed, get together for this episode for a little discussion regarding the concepts of being overwhelmed and being clutter-free. So often we find that our clutter overwhelms us and that being overwhelmed contributes to our clutter. It can be a vicious cycle.

Kathi and Cheri discuss five steps to keep from getting overwhelmed as you declutter your home, your heart, and your life. Order your copy of Overwhelmed here.

Links Mentioned:

Paige’s Free Masterclass Why You Impulse Shop & How To Stop

What to work with Paige directly? Overcoming Overspending Group Program

Paige Pritchard

Organizational Website Notion

Giveaway: Paige Pritchard has a FREE Masterclass for you! It’s an hour long pre recorded class you can watch at your convenience. Once you sign up, you only have access for a limited time so carve out that hour and start on a path to curbing your urge to splurge.

Here’s the link: Why You Impulse Shop & How To Stop with Paige Pritchard

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Paige Pritchard

Paige Pritchard is a spending coach who helps women stop impulse shopping and overspending.

Paige discovered her passion for helping women develop healthier spending habits through her own personal struggles with impulse shopping when at age 22 she blew through her $60,000 salary after graduating from college.

By uncovering the root cause of her shopping and making a commitment to develop healthier spending habits she was able to turn her financial situation around in her twenties by paying off her $40,000 of student loan debt, cash flowing her MBA, becoming a homeowner and building a multiple six-figure investment portfolio by age 29.

In 2020 Paige became a certified life coach through The Life Coach School and since then has coached thousands of women to become better spenders and reach their full financial potential through her social channels, her podcast called The Money Love Podcast, and group coaching program, Overcoming Overspending.

Paige’s work has been featured in publications like NBC News, The Washington Post, The Daily Mail, BuzzFeed, The Guardian, and the Dr. Phil Show.

You can connect with Paige on Instagram @overcoming_overspending , Tik Tok @overcoming_overspending, YouTube  Overcoming Overspending with Paige Pritchard, her Apple Podcast  The Money Love Podcast , and at www.paigepritchard.com.

 

Transcript

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#652 The Clutter Free Lifestyle: 10 Habits That Actually Work

#652 The Clutter Free Lifestyle: 10 Habits That Actually Work

Hey there, friend! In this encouraging episode of Clutter Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo reveal the top 10 habits they've developed since embracing a clutter-free lifestyle. This candid conversation offers listeners practical insights into how living...

#651 10 Surprising Things I No Longer Do as a Clutter-Free Mom

#651 10 Surprising Things I No Longer Do as a Clutter-Free Mom

Hey there, friend! In this compelling episode of Clutter-Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo explore the significant and often surprising habits they've relinquished to maintain a clutter-free lifestyle. Listeners will discover insights and practical advice...

#650 The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025

#650 The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025

650 – The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025Hey there, friend! If you've ever felt like your finances are a runaway train and you're just hanging on for dear life, this episode is your lifeline. In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya...

#569 Urge to Splurge? How to Manage Your Impulsive Shopping – Part 1

#569 Urge to Splurge? How to Manage Your Impulsive Shopping – Part 1

569: Urge to Splurge? How to Manage Your Impulsive Shopping – Part 1

Have you ever struggled with impulsive spending or another “urge to splurge” mind set? You are not alone, friend. Kathi and spending coach Paige Pritchard are digging into the root cause of our impulsive shopping and how to change those behaviors. Today they discuss the first of Paige’s five tips to managing your impulsive shopping, plus answer questions like:

  • Why are you shopping?
  • What is a de-influencer?
  • What is an Urge Jar?

As promised in the episode, here’s a link to Paige Pritchard’s Free Masterclass Why You Impulse Shop & How To Stop.

Join Kathi and friends for No Buy July! Click here to join her free Facebook community Clutter Free Academy, and get ready to participate in this No Buy challenge that can change your home and your life.

Sign up here for the Clutter Free Academy newsletter and be notified when future episodes are released.

Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity

 

Feeling overwhelmed? Wondering if it’s possible to move from “out of my mind” to “in control” when you’ve got too many projects on your plate and too much mess in your relationships?

Kathi and Cheri want to show you five surprising reasons why you become stressed, why social media solutions don’t often work, and how you can finally create a plan that works for you. As you identify your underlying hurts, uncover hope, and embrace practical healing, you’ll become equipped to:

  • trade the to-do list that controls you for a calendar that allows space in your life
  • decide whose feedback to forget and whose input to invite
  • replace fear of the future with peace in the present

You can simplify and savor your life—guilt-free! Clutter, tasks, and relationships may overwhelm you now, but God can help you overcome with grace.

Kathi and Cheri Gregory, co-author of Overwhelmed, get together for this episode for a little discussion regarding the concepts of being overwhelmed and being clutter-free. So often we find that our clutter overwhelms us and that being overwhelmed contributes to our clutter. It can be a vicious cycle.

Kathi and Cheri discuss five steps to keep from getting overwhelmed as you declutter your home, your heart, and your life. Order your copy of Overwhelmed here.

Links Mentioned:

Paige’s Free Masterclass Why You Impulse Shop & How To Stop

What to work with Paige directly? Overcoming Overspending Group Program

Paige Pritchard

Giveaway: Paige Pritchard has a FREE Masterclass for you! It’s an hour long pre recorded class you can watch at your convenience. Once you sign up, you only have access for a limited time so carve out that hour and start on a path to curbing your urge to splurge.

Here’s the link: Why You Impulse Shop & How To Stop with Paige Pritchard

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Paige Pritchard

Paige Pritchard is a spending coach who helps women stop impulse shopping and overspending.

Paige discovered her passion for helping women develop healthier spending habits through her own personal struggles with impulse shopping when at age 22 she blew through her $60,000 salary after graduating from college.

By uncovering the root cause of her shopping and making a commitment to develop healthier spending habits she was able to turn her financial situation around in her twenties by paying off her $40,000 of student loan debt, cash flowing her MBA, becoming a homeowner and building a multiple six-figure investment portfolio by age 29.

In 2020 Paige became a certified life coach through The Life Coach School and since then has coached thousands of women to become better spenders and reach their full financial potential through her social channels, her podcast called The Money Love Podcast, and group coaching program, Overcoming Overspending.

Paige’s work has been featured in publications like NBC News, The Washington Post, The Daily Mail, BuzzFeed, The Guardian, and the Dr. Phil Show.

You can connect with Paige on Instagram @overcoming_overspending, Tik Tok @overcoming_overspending, YouTube Overcoming Overspending with Paige Pritchard, her Apple Podcast The Money Love Podcast, and at www.paigepritchard.com.

 

Transcript

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#652 The Clutter Free Lifestyle: 10 Habits That Actually Work

#652 The Clutter Free Lifestyle: 10 Habits That Actually Work

Hey there, friend! In this encouraging episode of Clutter Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo reveal the top 10 habits they've developed since embracing a clutter-free lifestyle. This candid conversation offers listeners practical insights into how living...

#651 10 Surprising Things I No Longer Do as a Clutter-Free Mom

#651 10 Surprising Things I No Longer Do as a Clutter-Free Mom

Hey there, friend! In this compelling episode of Clutter-Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo explore the significant and often surprising habits they've relinquished to maintain a clutter-free lifestyle. Listeners will discover insights and practical advice...

#650 The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025

#650 The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025

650 – The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025Hey there, friend! If you've ever felt like your finances are a runaway train and you're just hanging on for dear life, this episode is your lifeline. In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya...

#558 Lessons Learned from Living Through a Renovation Part 1

#558 Lessons Learned from Living Through a Renovation Part 1

558: Lessons Learned from Living Through a Renovation Part 1

Have you ever second guessed a decision you’ve made, even after doing thoughtful and thorough research? Have you vacillated between decisions and then ended up doing… nothing? You are not alone, friend. It’s called thrashing and Kathi and her three-time coauthor Cheri Gregory are with us today discussing the concept of thrashing as well as some lessons each learned during their recent home renovations. Cheri has three lessons for us regarding clutter and renovations, the first of which she shares in this episode. Listen in to Part 1 of this two part episode to find out:

  • Cheri’s #1 sanity saver during the renovation
  • How a renovation can reveal clutter habits you didn’t know you had
  • The importance of “putting a pin” in your decisions

Remember, you can do anything for a short period of time. If you know you’ll be moving soon (or even if you aren’t), start with one area or one room and work from there a little bit each day. You can do it!

Be sure to subscribe to the podcast to be notified when the next episode is released. When you do you will also receive a free Clutter Free Kit with handouts and video interview with Kathi!

Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity

 

Feeling overwhelmed? Wondering if it’s possible to move from “out of my mind” to “in control” when you’ve got too many projects on your plate and too much mess in your relationships?

Kathi and Cheri want to show you five surprising reasons why you become stressed, why social media solutions don’t often work, and how you can finally create a plan that works for you. As you identify your underlying hurts, uncover hope, and embrace practical healing, you’ll become equipped to:

  • trade the to-do list that controls you for a calendar that allows space in your life
  • decide whose feedback to forget and whose input to invite
  • replace fear of the future with peace in the present

You can simplify and savor your life—guilt-free! Clutter, tasks, and relationships may overwhelm you now, but God can help you overcome with grace.

Kathi and Cheri Gregory, co-author of Overwhelmed, get together for this episode for a little discussion regarding the concepts of being overwhelmed and being clutter-free. So often we find that our clutter overwhelms us and that being overwhelmed contributes to our clutter. It can be a vicious cycle.

Kathi and Cheri discuss five steps to keep from getting overwhelmed as you declutter your home, your heart, and your life. Order your copy of Overwhelmed here.

Question:

What is something you’ve gotten rid of that you never thought you could OR something that you are contemplating getting rid of that’s hard? 

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Cheri Gregory

Through Scripture and storytelling, Cheri Gregory delights in helping women draw closer to Jesus, the strength of every tender heart. She is the founder of the Sensitive and Strong Community Cafe: the place for the HSP Christian woman to find connection. With Kathi Lipp, she’s the co-author of You Don’t Have to Try So Hard, Overwhelmed, and An Abundant Place. Cheri speaks locally and internationally for women’s events and educational conferences.

You can connect with Cheri at CheriGregory.com, SensitiveAndStrong.com, on Cheri’s Facebook Page, and on Instagram

Transcript

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#652 The Clutter Free Lifestyle: 10 Habits That Actually Work

#652 The Clutter Free Lifestyle: 10 Habits That Actually Work

Hey there, friend! In this encouraging episode of Clutter Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo reveal the top 10 habits they've developed since embracing a clutter-free lifestyle. This candid conversation offers listeners practical insights into how living...

#651 10 Surprising Things I No Longer Do as a Clutter-Free Mom

#651 10 Surprising Things I No Longer Do as a Clutter-Free Mom

Hey there, friend! In this compelling episode of Clutter-Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo explore the significant and often surprising habits they've relinquished to maintain a clutter-free lifestyle. Listeners will discover insights and practical advice...

#650 The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025

#650 The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025

650 – The 5 Financial Habits You Should Build in 2025Hey there, friend! If you've ever felt like your finances are a runaway train and you're just hanging on for dear life, this episode is your lifeline. In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya...

#378: Clutter and Money with Ron Deal of FamilyLife

#378: Clutter and Money with Ron Deal of FamilyLife

Have you ever noticed that money is a tender spot in a lot of relationships? Maybe it even causes tension for you. In this week’s podcast, Kathi chats with very special guest Ron Deal of FamilyLife about ways to successfully resolve some of the conflicts related to spending and have a stronger, more unified family.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Some key questions to ask when strong emotions come up related to money
  • Contributing factors that make merging finances particularly difficult for blended families
  • How a togetherness agreement can help you build a strong foundation financially and relationally

If you would like more information about how to merge finances well, check out Ron’s book, The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning. You can order it on AMAZON now.

In case you missed the verse reference, Ron quoted Hebrews 13:5: “Keep your life free from the love of money and be content with what you have for He has said ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.'”

Giveaway

As a special treat we are giving away some copies of Ron’s book, The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning: Money Management Before and After You Blend a Family! Enter below by commenting and letting us know:

What would it look like to start spending money with intention instead of emotion in your family? What impact would that have on your relationships?

 

 

We would love to stay connected.

To share your thoughts:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Transcript for Clutter Free Academy #378

Read along with the podcast!

Clutter Free Academy Podcast # 378

Clutter and Money with Ron Deal of Family Life

<<intro music>>

Kathi – Well, hey friends! Welcome to Clutter Free Academy, where goal is to help you take small, do-able steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. You know, around here, we talk a lot about the devastation of clutter, and the emotional impact. We talk about that almost on a weekly basis. We spend a lot less time on the financial consequences to us and our family. I’ve done something about that. I’ve got us an expert in here. I want to introduce you guys to the director of FamilyLife Blended and the author of the new book The Smart Step-Family Guide to Financial Planning: Money Management Before and After You Blend a Family.  Ron Deal, welcome to Clutter Free Academy.

Ron – Thank you, Kathi. It’s so good to be with you.

Kathi – You and I just recently had a little chat about some of the principles about step-family and clutter. It’s so interesting, because so many of the clutter principles are true for step-families and original families. Also, there are some big differences, and I think it’s the same thing with money, as well. Everybody is stressed about money. Here’s my first question: When it comes to blended families, what is most stressful? Is it the exes? Is it discipline of kids? Or is it money? I want to know your opinion. I have an opinion on this, but I would love to hear what you think.

Ron – Okay, well, first of all, yes. You were on my podcast recently, FamilyLife Blended, is the podcast that we do specifically around blended families. Thank you for doing that. I think the answer to your question is: YES. There are things above the surface and things below the surface in our lives, right? You say so eloquently, above the surface is clutter, but below the surface is, “Why are you keeping it? What’s your fear? What’s your pain? What’s the concern? What’s the guilt?” The same thing happens to blended families around money; around relationships. Is it just about the former spouse, or is it about the pain that connects you to that former spouse? Is it about the pain you continue to see in your children’s eyes as a result of a broken relationship? Is it about the heartache, difficulty, or the guilt that you feel over you ending the previous relationship? All of those things below the surface are really, at the end of the day, driving what’s above the surface.

Kathi – It’s so interesting, isn’t it, how entangled all those different things are? I remember the first year we were doing Christmas as a blended family. My husband’s ex called and said, “Well, I need to know what you’re getting the kids for Christmas, so we can avoid getting them the same thing.” It wasn’t until years later, to figure out, “Oh, no no no, that’s a form of control. Why am I resisting this so much? Because I don’t like to be controlled.” It was money issues. It was control issues. It was kid and entitlement issues. All of that. So much of that is the common thread of money. I know that in an intact family, you’re dealing with some of those things, but it just feels like it gets folded out into a million different directions when it’s a blended family. 

Ron – Exactly. I’m thinking of a couple, for example, that I had a conversation with one day, and they were trying to figure out how many pots of money to have in their marriage. He had his kids and his money before they got married and she had hers. There’s a one-pot system, “We all put it in one pot.” There’s a two-pot system, “Yours and mine.” Three-pot, “Yours, mine, ours, but what about our investments?” Well, the conversation went like this. “Ron. We’re married now. We should all have one pot, but my wife is unwilling to put her money into one pot with me. I don’t like that.” So, we start chasing what’s underneath that. What’s that about? And the message to him was, “I must not be very important. She doesn’t value our us-ness; our one-ness the way I want her to; the way I do. So, I’m feeling fragile. I’m feeling vulnerable in this relationship.” Well, to some, that’s never good, but to someone like him, who had already been vulnerable in a previous relationship? He knows what can happen when it all falls apart. Now he has a super-high sensitivity to what this means for his family. It’s not just about money. It is about money, but it is also about everything underneath the money.

Kathi – Money brings out an anxiety and an insecurity. It’s all around that. When I think about clutter, I think, “What you’re buying is clutter. What I’m buying is necessary.” That’s how many people view it. I think that many of us, whether we’re in a marriage, or divorced, or single, or whatever, we’ve seen those past mistakes. We have evidence of those past mistakes all around us. So, here’s my question: When you begin to combine families, and you start to see all the stuff… It’s shocking when you start to bring those families together, and you’re like, “Oh my goodness. I didn’t know we had eight potato mashers.” You start to see some of the patterns. How do we start to have healthy conversations about recovering from those past clutter and financial mistakes?

Ron – One of the things to ask yourself is, when you notice, in yourself, or in your partner, “Wow! Whenever this subject comes up, so does anger, so does heavy emotions, so does a sense of desperation in me.” You’ve got to pause at that moment in time and ask yourself, “What’s going on with me? What is underneath all this?” It’s no longer about stuff. It’s about what it means to me and the implications it has to our family-ness, on our relationships, on our blending process. So, pausing at that point in time and going inside yourself and saying, “Lord, help me. Give me some insight into what this is about.” Throughout scripture, whenever God speaks to us about money, He always attaches a “for I am with you” because of that insecurity thing you were talking about a little while ago. Really, we think that money is what’s going to bring us stability in life, and it’s the calming piece of life, but God’s always saying, “No no no. That’s my job. I am with you. I am the one that provides. You’re going to be okay because of My presence in your life.” It we don’t go inside and ask ourselves, “What’s going on with me?” then we’ll just keep getting angry, and not have any reason or understanding why. 

Kathi – This is so good, Ron. I had never made the correlation between the verses about money, and God being with you. I feel like, except for if someone attacks my parenting, questioning how I spend money is my quickest line between peace and anxiety. Zero to sixty so much faster than anything else in my life. God knew, from the beginning of time, that we were going to struggle with money and stuff. The verses about “What are we investing in? What are we putting our time in? What are we putting our money in?” are just throughout the entire Word. So, to see the correlation, to say, “God knew this was going to be anxiety-producing. God knew that this was going to be a soft spot. Not just in marriages, but in parent-child relationships, in ex relationships, in all of those things.” This gives me such a different approach, Ron. I’m thinking in my own life. Roger and I have something we’ve set up. We call it “Money & Munchies Mondays”. We have to trick ourselves into doing finances. We have to give ourselves a reward. So, we order food in, we sit down, but I’m going to be honest, I had not thought about praying before talking about finances. When God says, “I am with you!” I need to invite him into that conversation. 

Ron – Absolutely. Hebrews 13:5 says it really well. “Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” In other words, the reason we clutter our lives with stuff; the reason we use our money to buy other things; the reason we rely on money for security is kind of the same thing. The clutter, and the buying, and the purchasing, and the reason we work so hard in Blended Families, for example, to make our relationship work, is at the end of the day, we’re feeling like, “I can provide all of this for myself. I can be self-sufficient. The money empowers me to have what I want and it gets rid of my anxiety. It gets rid of my concern, or my fear, or my pain.” No, it really doesn’t. It’s a quick fix. It lasts as long as a Snickers. You’re going to get hungry again. What really lasts is leaning into God’s presence in our lives. I’m not saying we don’t have legitimate concerns about money. There’s good questions to ask, and wise decisions to make, absolutely. All of that above-the-surface stuff has to happen, too. But if we don’t go below the surface, and ask ourselves, “Why am I leaning in to this so much? What if I leaned in to God and His presence in my life a little more? How can I change my heart and my attitude about my money; about what I spend; about our relationship?

Kathi – Here’s what I think happened with me and Roger. Both of us will admit, we are not financial geniuses. We’re very fortunate. Roger has a Silicon Valley income, but we also have a Silicon Valley mortgage.

Ron – They cancel each other out.

Kathi – I think part of us were like, “We are spending so much time, and energy, and resources just keeping this family from killing each other. Money was just another stress that we could avoid for a while. So, how do we build in wisdom when it comes to money? There is going to be stuff coming into your house. There are purchases that need to be made. As a couple, we probably have a history of coming to those decisions in different ways. How do we build together, as a couple, in wisdom, so maybe money isn’t something we’re really excited about, but it’s not tearing a hole in our marriage every time we sit down to talk about it?

Ron – It starts with values. We’ve already moved in that direction. What I want to add there, is: “What does that thing mean? This purchase; this object; this decision, what does it mean to us in terms of our over-all life?” If I can be honest, a lot of times I buy things because it’s going to make me feel good. Or, I buy something because I think it’ll make me look good to others. What I’m really chasing here is other people’s approval of me. “Wow. So, maybe I don’t need that dress; that outfit; that suit; that whatever just to win other people’s approval. That seems like I’m worshiping the approval of men, not so much God’s approval.” So, my values need a course correction.

Kathi – Let me ask you: Do you think blended families work harder to look okay to the rest of the world? I feel like that’s what we did for a while.

Ron – I do think there is a pressure there, especially within the church community. That’s where we do so much of our work. Helping churches understand how they can be helpful. They don’t realize how much pressure they put on blended families to be like everyone else. It’s not intentional, but it happens. I do think there’s another dynamic in blended families around money, and that’s “I feel guilty around what’s happened in my kids’ lives; what I can’t change; what I can’t make right and somehow this is the quick fix that helps them feel better, and that helps me feel better.” 

Kathi – Here’s the other thing: When I married Roger, I went from two kids to four. That, financially, was a hard thing. The world is not built for families of six. When you want to go rent a car; when you go get a hotel room. It’s not just college times four, it’s shoes times four. It’s soccer times four. It’s all of those things.

Ron – And parents are diluting their money, too. You have another household you have to spend money on, child-support. Sometimes it’s coming in. Sometimes it’s going out. There are a number of factors that do add pressures to blended families that first families don’t experience. 

Kathi – Most of the people who are listening, we would love to have been those people who sat down before we got married and said, “Let’s have an honest conversation about money,” but 95% of us didn’t do that. We thought that once we got married and we love each other, everything will work out. I admit to being that couple. I love that we’ve outlined some of these things that we feel. It’s a lot like clutter, the fear, guilt, and shame. Fear, “What if I’m not doing a good job parenting?” Guilt for past mistakes we’ve made. Shame about not being that ideal family that many in the church still judge as a second-tier family. I love your idea of getting on the same page with your goals and what are your values. Do you suggest physically sitting down and writing those out? How’s the way to communicate those inside of a family?

Ron – So, the book actually guides people in creating what we call a Togetherness Agreement. The Smart Step-Family Guide to Financial Planning is, you start by sitting down and creating this Togetherness Agreement. Totally the opposite of what a pre-nup is all about. A pre-nup is all about “What happens if it all comes apart?” The Togetherness Agreement is all about “How are we going to bring it together? Not only our money issues, or matters, but our relationships.” So, it’s all tied together. We try to walk people through this process of looking at the different elements, the different pieces. How do you plan for the now? How do you plan for the future? Children? How do you care for one another? I got to tell you, I’m not a financial planner (I teamed up with two guys that do this kind of thing on a regular basis) I’m a marriage and family educator and therapist. So, I’m always looking at the relational components, but I learned a ton` doing the research for this book, around the different financial tools that are available out there, that I didn’t know anything about, that I think the average blended family couple knows nothing about as well. There are tools to help you plan your estate, to care for your kids, to care for your step-children, care for your spouse. What if you die and your spouse marries again? If you don’t provide, in writing, some of your assets can end up going, not just going with your former spouse, but their new spouse’s kids. 

Kathi – I’ve seen that happen.

Ron – You can prevent all that. That’s the beautiful thing. It does take some time. It takes some effort. Sometimes people will go beyond the book and decide to consult with a financial planner who can actually make something legal; who can put it in official document form. All of that is really helpful, because at the end of the day, you have more confidence in how you love one another. You have more stability, in the sense of, “Yes, we have taken steps to provide, should the worst thing happen. The kids are provided for. We don’t have to live with this sense of, ‘oh, this will all work out’.” The laws in America, because of how they’re written around parent-child relationships, tend to work against step-families, in court. If you ever have a state-thing go to court, it tends to work against what you really want to have happen. But, if you put it in writing, it’s all cared for. Confidence goes up. Stability comes together.

Kathi – If feels like everybody is on the same page. 

Ron – Which is the relational confidence peace you want.

Kathi – Ron, I love this so much. I think that, for any of us that have complicated family situations, the tools that are provided in this book are excellent. I’m really going to encourage you, whether you’re a blended family, or you know a blended family. Trust me. If you’re not sure whether this is an issue in your friend’s blended family? I promise you, it is. To give somebody the resources is so amazing. We’ve got a couple of books to give away. I’m really excited. So guys, here’s what I want to hear from you. I want to hear from you, in the comments on the podcast page, what would it look like to start spending money with intention, instead of emotion, in your family? What impact would that have on your relationships? Okay, you guys, I’m so excited about this book. The Smart Step-Family Guide to Financial Planning: Money Management Before and After You Blend A Family.  Ron, thank you so much for being on Clutter Free Academy.

Ron – Thanks, Kathi. It’s an honor to be with you.

Kathi – And friends, thank you for joining us. You make this my favorite part of our ministry, being able to talk with you on Clutter Free Academy.  Please join us next week. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the Clutter Free life you were always intended to live.

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*see show notes in podcast post above for any mentioned items

Meet Our Guest

Ron Deal

Ron Deal

Ron Deal is husband to Nan (since 1986) and proud father of Braden, Connor, and Brennan. Everything else is just details.

Ron L. Deal is a bestselling author, licensed marriage & family therapist, podcaster, and popular conference speaker who conducts “laugh and learn” marriage and family seminars and professional training around the country. He specializes in both marriage enrichment and stepfamily education. Frequently featured in the national media, Ron is a leading national expert and the most widely read and viewed author on blended families in the country. He serves as President of Smart Stepfamilies™ and Director of FamilyLife Blended®, a division of FamilyLife®.

Learn more at www.familylife.com.

 

333 Find Your Money and Lose Your Clutter – Deborah Smith Pegues

333 Find Your Money and Lose Your Clutter – Deborah Smith Pegues

On today’s episode, Kathi chats with Deborah Smith Pegues, author of The One-Minute Money Mentor for Women. Kathi and Deborah discuss the importance of women being financially literate. And Deborah shares practical tips for women who might feel overwhelmed by money issues.

On today’s informative show you’ll learn:

  • Why people who struggle with clutter often also struggle with money
  • What to do if you’ve been ignoring money and find yourself in a tough place
  • Deborah’s biggest money tip for the Christmas holiday

Enter to Win!

Grand prize- Win $50 in cash to go towards an outstanding bill, plus Deborah’s book The One-Minute Money Mentor for Women!  

Plus, FIVE lucky runner-ups will win a copy of The One-Minute Money Mentor for Women!

 

Enter by answering in the comments:

 “Share your best tip for getting out of debt?” 

*US residents only

 

 

Buy the book here.

Thanks for Listening!

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Meet Our Guest

Deborah Smith Pegues

Deborah Smith Pegues

Deborah Smith Pegues is a certified public accountant, behavioral consultant, TV host, and global speaker with an MBA in finance. She has written seventeen transformational books, including the bestselling 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue (over one million sold worldwide) and Emergency Prayers. She and her husband, Darnell, have been married nearly 40 years. Learn more