#647 The Shame-Free Path to Conquering Clutter

#647 The Shame-Free Path to Conquering Clutter

647 – The Shame-Free Path to Conquering Clutter

Hey friends! Have you ever felt so ashamed of your home that you would rather hide than invite anyone over?

In this powerful episode of Clutter Free Academy, hosts Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo dive deep into the emotional landscape of clutter, shame, and isolation. They candidly share personal experiences of feeling trapped by household disorganization and the psychological barriers that prevent people from seeking help.

Listeners will discover:

  • How clutter can lead to social withdrawal
  • The importance of accountability and community in overcoming organizational challenges
  • The benefits of joining the supportive, compassionate Clutter Free for Life community

Listeners will find inspiration in their message of self-acceptance and practical strategies for creating functional, livable spaces and transforming one’s relationship with home organization.

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It’s a family of cluttery people who want better for themselves and for you. We all understand the emotional weight of clutter and the physical barriers it causes. Clutter Free for Life members have a team of experts who know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed as their guides. Want to see whether the membership is right for you? Check out our info page Clutter Free For Life.

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

 

Well, hey friends, welcome to clutter free Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life And I’m back and you know guys, we’re just gonna keep talking about it. We’re gonna keep talking about clutter. We’re gonna keep talking about all the reasons that we need to crush the clutter in our lives, especially as we’re going into the holidays because can we just, okay, I’m gonna say something controversial. Hey, Tonya, by the way. Hey, Tonya’s here. Can I say holidays are their own form of clutter?

 

Tonya Kubo (00:42.622)

Bye.

 

Tonya Kubo (00:49.406)

they totally are.

 

Kathi (00:51.2)

Yeah, that you know, clutter is not always bad. I right now downstairs, I’ve got some clutter on my table. But the clutter on my table is stuff I want. Or I don’t know if I want it, but I have to investigate like there’s mail down there. One of another podcaster I was on her show, we were talking about soups and we were talking about her favorite soup. And she said, my favorite soup is made with chow chow.

 

Tonya Kubo (00:57.49)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (01:21.676)

And I’m like, the only thing I know that is chow chow is either dog foods or dogs. So, do you know what chow chow is? How do you know what chow chow is?

 

Tonya Kubo (01:28.584)

Mm.

 

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Church fundraiser cookbooks?

 

Kathi (01:39.523)

Okay, that is fascinating. So, chow chow, would you explain it because I’ve actually never tasted it. Go for it. Or do you know? I know it’s made with cabbage, right? It’s like a relish with cabbage.

 

Tonya Kubo (01:56.11)

It’s, I think it’s a relish and people put whatever they want in it. It’s one of those things, it reminds me of, you know, it’s like every family has their own way of doing it, but it’s like canned, it’s home canned. And the people who love it, really, really love it. My mom hated it. My mom was like, ehh.

 

Kathi (02:17.48)

Mm-hmm. Okay.

 

Kathi (02:23.128)

So I was having this conversation with another podcaster and she was telling me about her, believe it’s a beef stew recipe that uses chow chow as a main ingredient. And I said, well, that sounds really interesting. She was kind enough to, she went to an Amish store and shipped me two cans of chow chow, or at least that’s what she’s told me. I have not opened the box yet, but I’m gonna go buy the ingredients to make her recipe and.

 

Tonya Kubo (02:27.016)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (02:31.986)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (02:42.162)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (02:47.517)

Right.

 

Kathi (02:52.738)

do that. So it’s clutter, because it’s not put away. But also there’s a category of clutter, where there’s no way to put it yet, because I have never had a chow chow section of my pantry before. And I just like saying chow chow. Can you tell?

 

Tonya Kubo (02:55.676)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (03:07.456)

Right. I know. But remember, our definition of clutter is do you love it? Do you use it? Would you? Could you buy it again? I add the could you part. But for you, you know, it’s like it just needs to find a home.

 

Kathi (03:13.688)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (03:25.408)

So, so Tonya what this is is Schrodinger’s chow chow because I both want it and don’t know if I want it I both will use it and have never used it And I don’t know that I would buy it again because I’ve never bought it once So it is it is Schrodinger’s chow chow and that’s okay. That’s okay

 

Tonya Kubo (03:51.55)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (03:52.362)

We don’t need to we don’t need to have a category for everything there has to be some space in your house for the things that you haven’t decided on but I do want to talk about what clutter can do to us because you and I have both lived with hoarders and I would say one of the the worst part about clutter hoarding is the extreme version obviously

 

Tonya Kubo (04:01.447)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (04:17.662)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (04:20.792)

But even as a young mom, I really struggled with clutter. And I would say it was isolating for me. Like I didn’t want to have people over. I remember thinking, it’s okay to have kids over, but I don’t want to have their parents over until a kid said something about my clutter. And I’m like, well, I don’t want to have anybody over anymore. And I, did you…

 

Tonya Kubo (04:39.154)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (04:48.61)

Did you also experience that isolation with your clutter?

 

Tonya Kubo (04:53.116)

Yeah, well, I mean, you referenced it in your book, Clutter Free. And I remember the first time I read that and realizing, right, like I couldn’t have anybody over when I was a kid. I mean, every now and then my mom would make an exception. But, you know, it was always having to balance like, OK, if I let a friend come over, were they going to go to school and talk about how my house looked? Right. And then, you know, I made a conscious decision, especially when the girls were little, that I wasn’t going to let the condition of my house.

 

Kathi (04:56.492)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (05:13.342)

Right. Yeah, right.

 

Tonya Kubo (05:23.326)

prevent me from inviting people over. So I would just tell people, I’m not cleaning for you. But I had a similar experience when I was pregnant with Abby. And like I had a potluck, a mops potluck at my house. And this one little girl came up to me and she was like, why is your house so messy? And my friend got offended for me. My friend Justine, who you know, got really offended for me. And she was like,

 

Kathi (05:49.358)

Bye now, Justine.

 

Tonya Kubo (05:51.612)

because she works full time. That’s why. she, I remember the little girl, cause she said, you only have one child and my mom has four. Why is your house so messy? My mom keeps our house clean. Which you know she got because her parents were talking about that at home, right?

 

Kathi (06:06.169)

Kathi (06:10.798)

I want to retroactively punch somebody in that family. Maybe not the child, but somebody.

 

Tonya Kubo (06:15.836)

Ha ha ha ha ha!

 

Tonya Kubo (06:20.994)

Right, and so then of course you have my friend Justine Popsin, well because she works full time and your mom doesn’t. Right, which is of course like total mommy-war stuff.

 

Kathi (06:31.106)

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (06:33.054)

I just looked at it I said, know what? A clean house is a higher priority for your mom and your dad than it is for me and my husband. That’s all.

 

Kathi (06:44.494)

Okay, you gave the highly evolved answer. I might have said something like, well, your mommy’s also on antidepressants, which really helps with the… No, I wouldn’t have said that, but I’d want to say that because there’s no shame in being on antidepressants at all. Let’s be super clear. But also, I would want that little girl to be… I would want to punish her.

 

Tonya Kubo (06:44.572)

End.

 

Tonya Kubo (07:13.15)

Nah, she didn’t know any better.

 

Kathi (07:13.334)

Okay, you know what? I take back what I said about the antidepressants because people I love the most in the world are antidepressants. But that would have been my very unevolved response 30 years ago when I had kids and mops. Okay, that’s cute that I think I had kids. Yeah, 30 years ago. Okay, yeah. So I’m sorry. I’m just I’m, I’m, I’m D detangling stuff.

 

Tonya Kubo (07:30.686)

No.

 

Tonya Kubo (07:36.296)

I apologize for derailing our conversation about isolation.

 

Kathi (07:40.366)

You know, I think about it though, because well, okay, I think we just proved something there, or at least I did my unevolved response proves something. What will make me act terribly faster than shame?

 

Tonya Kubo (07:58.482)

Mm-hmm. yeah, totally. Well, and we have talked about this several times, right? We see that in Clutterfree Academy. I mean, so often, you know, we don’t get a lot of prickly people in there nowadays, right? Because we have such a strong culture and everybody really does want to be kind, but…

 

Kathi (08:01.923)

It

 

Kathi (08:08.47)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Kathi (08:14.272)

No. Mm hmm.

 

Kathi (08:21.027)

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (08:21.746)

The times that we do get somebody super prickly, it’s because they are so deeply embedded in shame that they can’t see their way out of it. And I feel like, you know, it’s that hurting people hurt. A lot of times they’ll lash out because they want to take the offensive rather than, cause they assume somebody’s going to lash out at them.

 

Kathi (08:28.941)

Yeah.

 

Kathi (08:34.902)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (08:39.81)

Yeah.

 

Kathi (08:44.844)

Yeah, Tonya, have you heard that? Maybe we’ve talked about it on here, the 17 diapers discussion. Have we talked about that? Yeah. And, you know, I think the people who are so hard on the mom who had 17 diapers for her brand newborn, who was doing it all on her own, are the people who either there are two ends of the spectrum. They get their validation from their house being perfect.

 

Tonya Kubo (08:51.034)

Yes, I think a couple episodes ago.

 

Tonya Kubo (09:04.883)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (09:14.846)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (09:15.554)

Or I could never live like that, but they’ve got some something else that they would never ever tell another human being. And so like, well, I’m not 17 diapers, so you’re worse than I am. Well, yeah, but you know, you do this other thing that you would never want the world to know about. it’s clutter can be so isolating, you know, and I think

 

Tonya Kubo (09:29.896)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (09:43.938)

once we get to a certain point, we feel like we can’t ask for help. Like I dug myself into this. I’m going to dig myself out. And we just don’t have a support system. And we get to this place where there’s so much self-criticism. We start to change the chemistry of our brain to believe, can we actually do something about this or not? So we have well articulated the problem. You have also seen my

 

Tonya Kubo (09:51.036)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (10:13.656)

propensity for rage based on something that was said to Tonya maybe 10 years ago, but here we are. Here we are, friends.

 

Tonya Kubo (10:20.594)

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (10:25.786)

Everybody knows what a loyal friend you are though, Kathi, now.

 

Kathi (10:28.442)

Yeah, I write it done But I want to come back to what are some things that if you’re feeling in that space where you feel like you can’t do anything What are some things that you can actually get done? So we’re gonna take a little break and come right back

 

Okay, friends, we’re talking about the shame and isolation of clutter. And Tonya and I want to come back and talk to you about that. Because we’ve both been there. We know a lot of people who have been there. And we know that there’s a way out because here, I love that story about the man who falls down in the hole. And a you know this story. And I’m sure most of our listeners do but

 

Tonya Kubo (11:06.856)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (11:11.97)

You know, a priest walks by and says, I see you’re down in the hole. And he throws a prayer down to him. And then a politician comes by. He says, I see you’re down in the hole. And he throws a law down to him. And then there’s a police officer who comes by and he throws a law about you’re not supposed to be down in the hole. And then finally, a friend comes by and

 

He jumps in to the hole and the guy in the hole says, why did you do that? Now we’re both stuck in the hole. And the friend who jumped in says, yeah friend, but I know the way out and I can show you. So let’s get out together. like I’ve heard that story for 25 years ever since I first heard it on West Wing and it still gives me chills because I feel like

 

Tonya Kubo (11:56.36)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (12:10.924)

That is so much of what we do in Clutter-Free Academy and Clutter-Free Life is friend, I’ve been in the hole before, but I actually know the way out. Let’s get out together. And maybe you don’t know your way completely out of the hole. And by the way, Tonya, that person from the Mops group would come to my house today and her daughter would say, why is your house so messy?

 

Tonya Kubo (12:12.882)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (12:39.264)

And I would say, you know what, my house is perfect for me. Because apparently her mom had different priorities and that is just fine for her family. But my home is happy, my home is clean. And we get to do a lot of wonderful cooking and loving and entertaining and work in our homes. And I’m really, really grateful. And so if that sounds like how you want your home to be.

 

Tonya Kubo (12:42.333)

Hahaha

 

Tonya Kubo (12:52.488)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (13:08.18)

If that sounds like how the kind of home you would like your kids or your grandkids to be in, I would love to tell you some things that have happened for us. So first of all, accountability. Tonya, how do you feel like accountability works in our groups?

 

Tonya Kubo (13:26.192)

Yeah, well, in ClutterFree Academy, right, the accountability piece is really more on the member. We have some members that want to be, you know, they want support and accountability. And so they post their before and after pictures. They ask specifically like, hey, you know what, can somebody check in on me at the end of the day, make sure I did what I said I would do. Whereas in ClutterFree for life, because it’s a paid membership program,

 

Kathi (13:34.786)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (13:54.608)

and people really are saying, I am going to pay you to boss me around, Tonya Kathi Grace, right? We actually are a little bit more proactive in the accountability. So we’re checking in daily. I am somebody who pays attention if somebody who has been active is quiet and I reach out to them. And usually, I mean, like I’m not like calling them or showing up at their house, okay? I’m not over the top, but I’ll tag them in a post in the group.

 

Kathi (13:59.778)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (14:12.812)

Mmm. Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (14:23.486)

I might drop them an email just to see. Because the thing is, is I know life gets in the way of our best intentions all the time. And what I know is that once you fall out of that routine, sometimes, like for me, all I need to do is skip two days and it’s no longer my routine. It’s no longer a habit. Like that’s how fragile my habits are. And so I know that on day three, it’s very easy to say, well, you know what? I messed up. I’m out for the whole month.

 

Kathi (14:31.63)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

 

Kathi (14:52.332)

Right. If it’s not perfect, then I’m not going to get the rewards of somebody who’s perfect. So I’m out of here.

 

Tonya Kubo (14:52.999)

Right?

 

Tonya Kubo (14:58.982)

Yeah, or you know what? I have let Tonya and Kathi down. I get apology emails left and right. I am so sorry, Tonya, but this happened and that happened and you know what? I’m like, I get it because I felt that way too. And I’m always like, please pick up wherever you left off, just pick it up. We’re here for you. Is there something I can immediately help you with? And I’ll tag them in that post or that coaching session. Because that’s the other thing is,

 

Kathi (15:17.101)

Yeah.

 

Yes.

 

Tonya Kubo (15:28.062)

Our weekly coaching sessions, as much as they are designed to help people with the next step, they’re a great place for people to come and discuss what’s hard and get peer-to-peer support in addition to support from our team.

 

Kathi (15:39.074)

Yeah.

 

Kathi (15:43.758)

Yes, and I love the accountability. It keeps me on track because it’s so easy for life to crowd out things in another way. But the accountability says, no, Kathi, you’ve said that this is important to you. We’re just reminding ourselves of what’s important and that’s what we need. So there’s power and accountability being able and I think part of the accountability for me is to say I’m not the worst person in the world.

 

Tonya Kubo (15:52.819)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (16:00.538)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (16:14.297)

yeah.

 

Kathi (16:14.316)

that I don’t have the worst house in the world. And another part, and I know you’ll get this Tonya, and I think our listeners will too, cleaning out that drawer in my bathroom that has been bugging me for so long and has made me feel gross. If I shared that with my family, they might say, well, that’s what you’re supposed to do. But if I share it with,

 

Tonya Kubo (16:17.34)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (16:24.04)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (16:33.555)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (16:41.435)

Right.

 

Kathi (16:43.776)

My clutter free group. They’re going to say no we get this that’s important. That’s big And getting that, you know sharing strategies getting that support Is so crucial, but I think the number one thing for me is saying You don’t need to live in shame I have been there or I am there and you know, the only shameful thing is to give up and I don’t even want to shame people who are giving up because

 

But the only thing that should be like, I need to change this desperately right now is giving up. Because you’ve said that this is important to you and you wanna live a different way and we wanna be there to help you. And the longer I do this, Tonya, the more I see our clutter-free group being like any other recovery group, like an AA meeting or an NA meeting or.

 

Tonya Kubo (17:25.502)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (17:38.322)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (17:42.358)

You know a whatever whatever kind of meeting you can think of way that Yeah, you can do it on your own, but why make it a thousand times harder?

 

You know, because be around people who not only support your recovery, but understand the challenges you’re having in that recovery.

 

Tonya Kubo (18:03.386)

Yeah, well, people having ideas that you haven’t thought of. mean, this is something that has come up quite a bit in the paid membership program is a shoe or buying a shoe organizer to organize unmentionables in a way that they hang on the back of a door in a house that doesn’t have a lot of space. Right.

 

Kathi (18:19.47)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (18:27.138)

Yeah, interesting.

 

Tonya Kubo (18:28.796)

I mean, it’s fascinating actually, the different things you can put in a shoe organizer. But some of us are like, well, it says shoe organizer, so we only think of using that for shoes. And then somebody else says, this is what I do. And you go, I can’t even visualize that. And then they say, well, I’ll just post a picture. And then you’re like, wow.

 

Kathi (18:33.667)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (18:39.512)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (18:50.006)

Yeah. Okay. You know why I love that so much, Tonya? my goodness. Do you know why I love that? Because the things online are only the aesthetically pleasing things because you want to be able to go to your drawer and see all the little compartments and you want to get that high from it being overly organized and color coordinated. And you know, there are organizing systems out there that, you know, you, you put things from yellow to purple.

 

Tonya Kubo (19:01.32)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (19:19.772)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (19:20.026)

And that’s the only way you’re and it makes me crazy because our houses are not set up like that I don’t have a walk-in closet My closet is a walkout closet, know, and I do have a shoe organizer in there But can I tell you my shoe organizing system? Do you want to hear how awesome this? Okay So every night when I’m getting into bed and I’m changing into my clothes, I kick my shoes into the bottom

 

Tonya Kubo (19:27.773)

Right.

 

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (19:39.366)

I do, I wanna hear it.

 

Kathi (19:49.39)

the closet in a jumble and then on Saturdays I put them away so You usually have five to six pairs of shoes on the bottom of the closet For about a week and then I put them away so I can find them again But you know what it works for me. Yeah, am I am I ready to get photographed for House Beautiful? I am NOT and if they came here, I’d break their camera, but it

 

Tonya Kubo (19:51.07)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (20:13.852)

Right.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (20:17.792)

My life is so much better than my shoes being all over the house every day tripping over them. It’s, it’s, do I want to be perfect or do I want to be sustainable? I want to be sustainable.

 

Tonya Kubo (20:30.46)

Yeah, no, exactly. mean, and I’m somebody, I only like alternate between two pairs of shoes usually. I tuck them underneath the bed, right? Because I get dressed in the dark because I get up hours before Brian does. So I just, there’s one little spot underneath the bed. That’s where my shoes live. I put them on, I’m good to go. And I think that’s the other thing that, so there is a time for aesthetics. There really is.

 

Kathi (20:36.824)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (20:40.366)

Perfect. Yeah.

 

Kathi (20:45.836)

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (21:00.892)

But most of us now is not that time, right? Now is the time to minimize, like get as much out of there and to make our houses functional. So, you know, like for us right now, like socks are such a battle when you have kids and it was fine when their feet were not as big as mine. Now that our feet are all the same size.

 

Kathi (21:12.782)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (21:18.638)

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (21:27.774)

It’s a problem. So we have two of those fabric cubes and all the socks go in there and we don’t match them. We don’t do anything. It is absolutely not a great long-term solution, but I don’t have socks all over the house and I’m not worried about whose socks are in whose drawer.

 

Kathi (21:44.814)

Okay, can I tell you my ultimate sock solution that I did when I had teenagers? I don’t know if this will work for you, but my girls would keep stealing my socks. I had black no-show socks. So what I did was I ordered a dozen Barney socks and.

 

Tonya Kubo (21:48.59)

I’ll take it. I will take it.

 

Kathi (22:11.726)

they were never touched by my teenage girls.

 

Tonya Kubo (22:15.423)

that’s funny.

 

Kathi (22:16.972)

Because I was so sick of, I literally did not have socks. And I’m like, I, go ahead.

 

Tonya Kubo (22:21.478)

Right. Well, I was going to say, yeah, I don’t have socks, but it’s not the girl’s fault. Remember, Brian does the laundry and Brian has an organization system that is called Mine Not Mine.

 

Kathi (22:29.326)

Right?

 

Tonya Kubo (22:36.922)

And if it is not his, then it goes all in the same pile. Right? And so the girls and I, was like their underwear in my drawer, my underwear in their drawer. And I would always like hold up their underwear. like, what part of you thinks this is my size? And that’s when he explained, he’s like, Tonya, it’s a simple system. It’s mine and not mine. And if it’s not mine, I just kind of assume maybe it’s yours.

 

Kathi (22:43.01)

Yes.

 

Kathi (22:47.726)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (22:53.366)

Right, right, right, right.

 

Kathi (23:05.302)

Okay, thank you, Brian, for doing laundry. Grateful.

 

Tonya Kubo (23:06.59)

Exactly. I am grateful for the laundry and now we have this weird commingled sock thing, but it works for now. once, Lily and I have been talking about this, it’s like, okay, once our frustration level gets to the point that we are ready to solve it on our own, we will do that. Until then we do not complain and we tolerate the solution that dad has come up

 

Kathi (23:25.708)

Right. Right.

 

Yes, Barney the Dinosaur, just keep that in your back pocket.

 

Tonya Kubo (23:34.928)

I might actually, that’s tempting.

 

Kathi (23:39.138)

Yeah, just make your stuff so undesirable that nobody else in the house will touch it. Yeah. Okay. So Tonya, this is literally the last day of our sale.

 

Tonya Kubo (23:44.872)

Right.

 

Tonya Kubo (23:51.794)

Right, well, we haven’t even talked about the clutter free for life sale!

 

Kathi (23:54.646)

So here’s why I’m gonna ask you if people are feeling isolated, what is our last ditch effort to say one, you’re the person who might benefit from this and two, what it’s gonna change for you.

 

Tonya Kubo (24:09.05)

I mean, it’s clutter free for life, right? So I guess here’s the thing is if you were looking for your house to be Pinterest perfect in 30 days, this is not the program for you. This is for the person who says it’s going to take time. It’s going to take effort. It’s a day to day thing that I’m going to have to work on. I’m going to slip. I’m going to fall. I might not even like look at the program materials for three months time. I may not. But when I’m ready,

 

Kathi (24:12.045)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (24:39.354)

I will have this whole community of people who are waiting for me and are happy to help me pick back up. Then Clutter Free for Life is 100 % for you. You can do our annual pass right now. It’s over 60 % off of regular price. Month to month is totally an option as well. But right now the annual pass is just 118 for a whole year. That’s what, like nine bucks? You do the math way better than I do, Kathi. It’s like nine bucks a month.

 

Kathi (25:04.098)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (25:07.958)

And it’s worth trying out and giving it a go. And if it’s not for you, then you’ll know in the first 30 days, I think. Because we’re pretty laid back and sometimes we’re just too laid back for people. I get that. But I really think you just… They do. People do come in really expecting me to be mean. And I’m just like, I don’t have it in me. I’m sorry.

 

Kathi (25:16.482)

Yeah, for sure.

 

Kathi (25:21.696)

Yeah, no, they want us to be meaner to them.

 

Kathi (25:30.732)

No, that’s not what we do here. We’re nice and Right

 

Tonya Kubo (25:34.106)

I have a lot of compassion and I think my compassion, I actually had somebody last January who was like, no, like I don’t deserve compassion. And I was like, yeah, you do. And they were telling me, they’re like, you don’t understand. And they were telling me like how lazy they were and all these things. And I said, wow, you have really high expectations of yourself. And they were like, well, yeah. And I said, and how’s that working? And they just kind of stopped. And I said, you know, like,

 

Kathi (25:46.04)

We all deserve compassion.

 

Tonya Kubo (26:04.07)

I can’t say the word right now. Recrimination, self-recrimination has, like it sounds like you have a history of that and it hasn’t been effective. So what if we tried compassion?

 

Kathi (26:06.636)

Yeah, yeah.

 

Kathi (26:14.092)

Yeah, yeah, because if you’re going to keep doing the same thing you’ve always been doing and it hasn’t worked And here’s the thing I come from a generation I come from generations of people who wanted to shame themselves into better behavior And it just it doesn’t work. Okay friends today’s the last day, but here’s the beautiful thing if it doesn’t work for you 30-day guarantee what if you got to lose and I think

 

Tonya Kubo (26:28.882)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Kathi (26:43.488)

If you stick with it, you’re gonna see results. You may not feel like you see results in the first week, but within the first two weeks, you’re gonna start to see some noticeable results in your life. And we wanna be there to cheer you on. So I’m putting the link down there. It’s normally 299. You can join any time of the year for 299. But if you wanna get the super, because we like to onboard everybody at once. It saves our team a lot of time and a lot of energy.

 

Tonya Kubo (26:55.166)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (27:10.79)

Yep.

 

Kathi (27:13.006)

118 and That’s It’s less than $10 a month To know that you’re on the right track Tonya. Thanks for hanging out with me Okay, and friends, thank you for hanging out you’ve been listening to clutter free Academy. I’m Kathi lip now Go start the clutter free life. You’ve always wanted to live

 

Tonya Kubo (27:21.63)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (27:26.44)

Thanks for having me.

  

 

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Hey there, friend! You know that feeling when you’ve spent an entire weekend decluttering, only to find your house looking exactly the same three weeks later?

You are definitely not alone!

In this enlightening episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo tackle the persistent challenge of the clutter cycle. They explore why homes seem to accumulate clutter despite repeated decluttering efforts and offer practical solutions for creating lasting change.

Listeners will discover:

  • The value of setting realistic goals with a maximum of three priorities per day
  • Ways to help children develop organizational skills without creating tension
  • The importance of understanding different organizational styles within the family
  • Why small, consistent actions lead to lasting change

The hosts share personal experiences with generational clutter patterns and discuss how different organizational styles within families can impact home management.

Click here to be notified when the next podcast episode is released!

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

 

Join Clutter Free For Life

While Clutter Free for Life comes with a plan of action to keep you moving forward in your decluttering journey day after day, the true magic of this membership program is in the community. It’s a program FOR cluttery people BY cluttery people.

It’s a family of cluttery people who want better for themselves and for you. We all understand the emotional weight of clutter and the physical barriers it causes. Clutter Free for Life members have a team of experts who know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed as their guides. Want to see whether the membership is right for you? Check out our info page Clutter Free For Life.

What’s your advice for someone who feels overwhelmed by generational clutter patterns?

Share in the comments!

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

 

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter-Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And I am back with your Clutter Crusader. It is Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya. So today, I think this is such an interesting topic that we’re gonna be talking about today, is the clutter cycle. 

  

Tonya Kubo (00:49.324) 

Hey Kathi. 

  

Kathi (00:59.717) 

And there are lots of ways that we can be talking about the clutter cycle. You and I have both had cycles in our family that were clutter. I mean, I remember, I don’t know, did you know your grandparents? You did? Okay, were they cluttery people? 

  

Tonya Kubo (01:17.426) 

so my grandmother died before I was born, but my grandfather, he was disabled. like, he didn’t, like he, we lived with him. So it can’t really say whether he was cluddery or not. 

  

Kathi (01:27.337) 

Kathi (01:30.863) 

Got it. Okay, because your mom who was a hoarder could have been the one who was bringing the clutter in. Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (01:39.328) 

Yeah, I mean, so what I know is that my grandmother was very, very particular about how clean the house was. And there was a 100 % right way to do things and then everything else was wrong. 

  

Kathi (01:48.133) 

Mmm. 

  

Kathi (01:52.655) 

Got it. Isn’t that interesting? So on my mom’s side, like my mom would get in trouble if she didn’t clean up all the little pieces of paper from the paper dolls, or if she left the scissors out. And on my dad’s side, I just remember chaos. Like, you know, my grandfather was a house painter after his sports career, and my grandmother was an artist. 

  

Tonya Kubo (02:06.317) 

Mmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (02:11.63) 

Mm. 

  

Kathi (02:21.569) 

And I just remember there was always stuff around, like just stuff. But it didn’t feel cluttered to me. It just felt full. I don’t know, you know, a perspective of little kids. So there’s those kind of cycles. But then there’s also the cycle of just the overwhelm of our own house’s clutter. And I think that there is that feeling of overwhelm. And I don’t know where to start. 

  

Tonya Kubo (02:27.288) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (02:31.117) 

Yeah. 

  

Kathi (02:51.333) 

which is the internalized criticism. But then there’s also, if you live with other human beings, the frustration of, is it all up to me? Should it all be up to me? Why is this my problem and not the household problem? I think that you and I have felt that at different times, probably with our kids, but 

  

I also have to defend other people in my family saying, you know, it’s a kid’s job to be cluttery. Like that’s part of their role. And so it’s for me, it’s always been more of a partner thing than it has been a parenting thing. How about for you? 

  

Tonya Kubo (03:27.832) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (03:35.146) 

Mm-hmm. Well, think, yeah, that’s the same. I just, I’m not bothered like other people are bothered by it because I just understand the nature of clutter is that it’s a cycle. And I think other people, and I mean, we see this all the time in the Facebook group, especially when people come in brand new, there is this skewed perspective. 

  

Kathi (03:46.341) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (03:50.213) 

Yeah, yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (04:01.974) 

that if I just get the house decluttered, then it’ll stay that way without me having to do anything extra. And I understand that it’s just an ebb and a flow. 

  

Kathi (04:05.711) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Right. Right. Yes. 

  

Yeah, because we all love that high right after something’s been decluttered, right? Where we know where the scissors are, we can open that box and what it says on the outside of the box is on the inside of the box. And it feels so good. And then, but I think lots of times those decluttering, let’s just say binges where we binge declutter, we are relying 

  

Tonya Kubo (04:39.308) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (04:44.011) 

less on systems and more on memory. Like I just put this thing there last Tuesday, so it’s probably still there. I just put the scissors there last Wednesday, so they’re probably still there. And so we have less of a system and more of a, I just put it there. And then as other people start to get involved in the binge, that’s when it tends to fall apart. 

  

And I know I will admit, I have been the person who says, why can’t you just put it back where it belongs? And they’re like, well, where would that be? Because I wonder if this is part of the cluttering profile, because I’m always trying to improve systems. Because I’m kind of equal creative and executing. 

  

Tonya Kubo (05:34.446) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (05:41.57) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (05:42.669) 

So I’m always trying to think of could we do this better? Could we do this better? Instead of, you know, pouring into deep systems, I’m just trying to always improve the system. So what was true last week is no longer true. Do you feel like that about yourself? Not at all. Do tell. 

  

Tonya Kubo (05:51.48) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (06:00.302) 

Right. Not at all. No. I never, I will never rearrange my furniture. I am the person who moved into a house that had pictures on the walls and I never removed them. 

  

Kathi (06:14.607) 

Shut up. 

  

Tonya Kubo (06:16.782) 

Just don’t care. Like, it’s just, can I live here? Sure. Can I live with this? Fine. I like, I have zero desire for decoration and it falls into my clothing too. You and me talk about clothing all the time. You know, some people are like, Tonya, you’re so good. You know, you just, you’re so into what your purpose here is in the world that you don’t care about styles or trends. And I’m like, no, it’s not cause I’m a better human. It’s cause quite honestly, I don’t have the energy for 

  

Kathi (06:29.123) 

Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (06:46.892) 

Like, I do not feel like I haven’t like ascended to some special like, I don’t need to care about my appearance. I still have the energy. It’s like it has nothing to do with that, but sure. 

  

Kathi (06:56.401) 

Tonya, you’re just so much closer to Jesus than the rest of us. 

  

someday I will be like Tonya. By the way, you look fabulous today. Your glasses are so on point. I love them so much. you know, I also know, yeah, so I do try and I’m not always good about updating the decor. I will say a lot of things that we when we bought this house, they had some really cute stuff that they left behind and it’s still in the same spot. 

  

Tonya Kubo (07:06.318) 

No! 

  

Tonya Kubo (07:10.318) 

Thanks. 

  

Tonya Kubo (07:28.814) 

Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

  

Kathi (07:32.513) 

Then we have people like to kneel in our lives who come to our house and say, can I just rearrange everything? And I’m like, sure, I don’t care. 

  

Tonya Kubo (07:36.099) 

Yeah 

  

After, after to Neil and I visited your house, was like to Neil, can never come to my house. Cause like I like, no, no, you can, you cannot do those things. But you know, and I say this, you know, for our listener, because I do know that some of them kind of trend more toward where I’m at. You know, we had a situation where like where we kept our leftover containers, right? Some people call those tougher wear reusable containers, whatever you call them. We kept them in one like. 

  

Kathi (08:04.133) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (08:06.636) 

when we moved into the house, it was like, yeah, that seems like a good place to put things. So we put them there. We knew for years it was not really functional. were all these problems with it. It took me a year of thinking before I could come up with another place to put it. It’s just, it’s really hard for me to shift. I’m not a good systems creator. I’m a good systems assimilator. Right? So I can ass… 

  

Kathi (08:28.785) 

that’s good. That’s a real skill though. 

  

Tonya Kubo (08:31.606) 

I can assimilate into just about anybody’s system, but to create one from scratch is hard. So no, I’m never thinking of ways to improve the process. 

  

Kathi (08:40.133) 

See I am the good creator, but not the good assimilator like even into my own systems But I am let me just say this a good systems Bullpucky detector When I you know, I just saw an article yesterday dollar store solutions For your storage needs and they were talking about like the Tupperware stuff 

  

Tonya Kubo (08:45.168) 

Tonya Kubo (09:05.486) 

Ugh. 

  

Kathi (09:07.741) 

And they were saying, you should put all of your small storage containers and lids in lingerie bag. And I say, I call a bullpucky on that. No, that would, it’ll make you feel good for a moment, but it will not, it will not make your life better. So here’s what Tonya and I are gonna do. We’re gonna go pay some bills and when you come back, we have fully explored the problem. 

  

Now we’re gonna come up with some solutions to breaking that clutter cycle. So stick with us and we’ll be right back. Okay, Tonya and I are back. we wanna talk about how can you break those clutter cycles. I would love to say for once and for all, this is like those Buzzfeed articles that say, 

  

Stop your snacking once and for all. There’s no stopping your snacking once and for all, but I can give you, Tonya can give you some ideas of how you can interrupt those cycles so that you’re constantly getting better. Because here’s what I’ll say, Tonya, I don’t feel like there has ever been one trick, one solution, anything that has changed my life, but it’s been a lot of small decisions reinforced day over day over day that have 

  

taken me from cluttery to come onto my house. You know, like I feel like that that is the evolution. So the first thing is no overhauls, right? No overhauls. I give you permission from the Lord of Decluttering on High to do 15 minute sessions. 

  

Tonya Kubo (10:35.042) 

Nice, yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (10:44.566) 

Hmm. 

  

Kathi (10:58.213) 

If you have set aside time I give you permission to do up to an hour of decluttering if you’re gonna be going deep on a project because I understand if you’re trying to Declutter a kitchen cabinet It could take 15 minutes. It could take 45 minutes and you don’t want to just do that in 15 minute segments. So Giving yourself focus on 15 minutes 

  

Tonya Kubo (11:18.894) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (11:27.959) 

and give yourself permission once at the maximum twice a week, unless you’re moving or something, for an hour session. Tonya, how does this look in your household? 

  

Tonya Kubo (11:40.59) 

Well, for us, you know, I think we run kind of like a lot of families with small kids. you know, Monday through Friday is really about survival. And then the weekends are where you try to get things reset. So I do like when we’re not and we have tons of activities. So when we don’t have a ton of activities or if we have at least one down day, I have everybody work on their space, their individual space for an hour. 

  

Kathi (11:49.849) 

Yeah. 

  

Kathi (11:53.483) 

Mm-hmm, yeah. 

  

Kathi (12:09.637) 

Mmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (12:09.942) 

Right? So that can be the girls working on their room together for an hour. Sometimes actually I have to put one girl in there all by herself for an hour and then move that girl out and put another girl in because they don’t have the same systems. But that’s what we do. And then in terms of the day to day decluttering, that is all on me. Like there is nobody else in this house that’s going to set aside 15 minutes a day unless we’re in middle of a challenge of some sort to focus on decluttering. 

  

Kathi (12:17.369) 

Yeah. Right. Yes. 

  

Kathi (12:27.886) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (12:34.529) 

Yeah. So Brian is in charge of things like laundry and stuff like that, right? And so you’re more of the decluttering diva in the household. Okay, no, that totally makes sense. You both are contributing in ways that make sense to you and feel right to you. And I love that. Okay. So breaking those tasks into manageable, manageable chunks. So 

  

Tonya Kubo (12:41.454) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (12:46.541) 

Yeah. 

  

Kathi (13:03.833) 

Tell me how do you guide your girls through making it manageable to get rid of stuff? 

  

Tonya Kubo (13:11.96) 

Well, so for us, it’s never not a conversation. We talk about it in some way every single day. So it can be going through the backpacks, right? So, you know, both of my girls are neurodivergent. There’s just a lot about how their backpacks look that kind of fits both of their archetypes. And so going through and just saying, you know, it’s so much easier to throw away one piece of paper or to go through the pencils and toss the one broken pencil. 

  

Kathi (13:20.323) 

Hmm. 

  

Kathi (13:24.922) 

Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (13:42.426) 

each day than it is to have to like go through that backpack at the on Friday and go through 10 crunched up pieces of paper or whatever else is in the bottom of the backpack, right? So that’s part of it is just reinforcing that if we do a little touch every single day, it’s so much easier than if we save it all up to the end of the week. 

  

Kathi (13:52.644) 

Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (14:04.93) 

But then it’s also when they make some headway is giving them reminders. So like with Abby, you know, we’ve just gotten her started where she puts away her own clothes. And it’s like, you know, Abby, if you put it, if you put undies in this drawer and shirts in this drawer and pants in this drawer, it’s so much easier to get dressed in the morning than if you want to shove everything in one drawer. Because that’s really what she wants to do, because she doesn’t actually want to put her stuff away. So she just wants to shove it all together, right? It is. 

  

Kathi (14:24.239) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

I don’t blame her. It’s the worst part of laundry. It is the worst part of laundry. Yes. 

  

Tonya Kubo (14:33.366) 

I will give you that. It is the worst part of laundry. So those are some things we do and just talk about like see how easy this makes our life isn’t this much easier than it was before. 

  

Kathi (14:42.989) 

Isn’t it so interesting that as kids, we buck those systems so much, but as adults, the thing I hear about decluttering so much is I need accountability. I need somebody to be in this with me. And we see what we needed as children. I think the difference is that you really know your girls’ types, and you’re able to say what works for Lily doesn’t work for Abby and vice versa. 

  

Tonya Kubo (14:54.466) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (15:04.782) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (15:08.846) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (15:10.489) 

And maybe we didn’t have a parent that was quite as in tune to that. So that makes a huge difference. OK, also, setting realistic goals. I know that this has been really hard for me. Like my to-do list at the beginning of the week can look like, do you have a crew coming over? Do you have magical elves that are going to help you with some of this stuff? So. 

  

Tonya Kubo (15:30.53) 

Yeah. 

  

Kathi (15:38.853) 

How do you keep your own goals realistic? And I’m asking this in a holistic sense because you also have a business, have, mean, so how do you keep your goals realistic throughout the day? 

  

Tonya Kubo (15:46.126) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (15:52.686) 

Well, so for me, I don’t ever allow myself to have more than three items on a list. Like that’s a hard rule. I remember years ago, you know, how I was introduced into the work world. And I think for some of us who didn’t grow up in environments that were organized, we learned organization and whatever was imposed upon us in our first jobs. And so, you know, I was trained by somebody who had this like running task list, we’d have like 25 items. 

  

Kathi (15:57.743) 

Mmm. 

  

Kathi (16:12.419) 

Right, yes, absolutely. 

  

Tonya Kubo (16:20.812) 

and they would just add stuff to the bottom and cross off from the top and then it would just roll over to the next day. So they were always making a new list every day and that would have stuff carried over. And I think that it just, it’s not helpful. It’s not helpful to have a list of 10 items. It’s like, okay, before my head hits the pillow, there are three things I have to get done today. What would those three things be? And there’s some days like today’s a day, for instance, I started with meetings at 4.30. I have not had more than a 30 minute break. 

  

Kathi (16:34.351) 

Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (16:49.824) 

and I won’t get a break until six o’clock tonight, right? So that’s gonna be my day. So when I woke up this morning, I had my three priorities that I wrote last night. And it’s like, okay, now that I look at my calendar and I recognize that I am a human who hopes to at some point eat some food, it’s just one thing. What’s the one thing that I have to get done the day before my head hits the pillow? And then that’s how I said it. And I’ve learned to be okay with that. I think that’s the other thing is you have to not be 

  

Kathi (16:53.713) 

my word. 

  

Kathi (17:06.937) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (17:12.591) 

Yeah. 

  

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (17:20.47) 

You have to not let yourself get into the place where you’re feeling guilty for not having more things on your list. 

  

Kathi (17:25.327) 

Right, because if only I were superhuman. And it’s like, well, that’s such a ridiculous statement, but for some reason, we don’t expect that of other people, but we expect of ourselves. And that’s something we need to combat. And that I know that when you have challenges, you have a family reward system. Talk a little bit about that. 

  

Tonya Kubo (17:29.421) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (17:35.114) 

Mm-hmm. Exactly. 

  

Tonya Kubo (17:48.736) 

I do. So when we do like, for instance, we’ve got 30 day 1K coming up, which is like my favorite time ever as of recording. So we have a tracking sheet. There’s four of us. So it’s very easy to find a pack of highlighters that has four colors in it. And everybody gets to mark theirs off. And then our reward system is the winner. In this case, it’s whoever declares more items. The winner gets to pick the prize. 

  

for everybody, right? And sometimes I pick it just because, you know, one year it was like, well we should go to Disneyland for this. No, you’re not going to Disneyland because you declared 200 items. Sorry, it takes more than that. But, you know, being able to say, okay, we’re gonna have a family movie night. That’s the prize. And the winner picks the movie or the winner picks the snacks for family movie night. That’s a big one. Like the girls really love to pick the snacks for family movie night. 

  

Kathi (18:29.615) 

Right. 

  

Kathi (18:45.887) 

Okay, yeah, okay, so I just have to ask what are some favorite snacks? 

  

Tonya Kubo (18:50.286) 

Abby is all about popcorn, popcorn chips. She likes the salty stuff. Lily just wants chocolate. If Lily can have a buffet of chocolate, maybe a little gelato tub, that would make her very happy. She likes a charcuterie. She’s a big fan of a charcuterie too. Yes, yes. 

  

Kathi (18:52.739) 

Yeah. Yeah. 

  

Kathi (19:00.387) 

Kathi (19:03.883) 

Okay. Yes. see, I love all these ideas. This is amazing. Yes. Yeah, they do not have cheap taste. They get that from their father and their mom in some in some regards. Yeah, you know, for us, you know, I think this is an adult thing. Like if I declutter, I can go to bed early and be in a decluttered room and moose and I can snuggle. 

  

Tonya Kubo (19:09.984) 

My kids are bougie though. They just are. 

  

Tonya Kubo (19:15.434) 

No. Right. 

  

Kathi (19:32.675) 

and it’s the best thing ever. And so that makes me super happy. Like that gives me joy, joy, joy down in my heart. And so I love that. I love that idea about that. Okay. So guys, if this is sounding appealing to you, if you need a little bit of accountability, you want to know more, you know, feel. 

  

Tonya Kubo (19:34.132) 

Yup. 

  

Kathi (19:57.411) 

like you’re being rewarded for this, but you also just know that part of the reward is living in a clutter-free house. If you are willing to get rid of some of that stuff in your house permanently, so you never have to revisit it again, I just wonder if Clutter-free for life might be for you. is, Tonya, tell them a little bit about Clutter-Free for life and how they’ll know if it’s for them. 

  

Tonya Kubo (20:26.668) 

Yeah, so, my gosh, I love Clutter-Free For Life as anybody who listens to this show should know by now. So, you Clutter-Free For Life is for the person who is like, you know, enough is enough. Like I’ve tried to do this on my own and it hasn’t been successful for me because I believe that we do have people in Clutter-Free Free For Life who genuinely would succeed with the membership or without it. They just… 

  

Kathi (20:29.589) 

I know, I do too. Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (20:52.914) 

know that they are happier in the process by having community around them. But, you know, for most of us, and I’m thinking of me, I’m thinking of Grace Church who’s over there, if you’ve tried it by yourself and you haven’t been successful and you’re like, you know, there’s just something like I can get it to a place, but I can’t get it beyond that, or I can’t keep it that way, Clutter-Free for Life is designed specifically for that. It’s designed for the person who needs a little extra support. 

  

Kathi (20:55.833) 

Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (21:20.236) 

Maybe the person who doesn’t have anybody in their life who understands how hard it is to actually release clutter and to keep things decluttered and they want somebody or would like to have somebody who shares those small wins like, hey, I just decluttered this one drawer. Clutter-free for life is perfect for that person in addition to those people who actually need a plan. And our plans are flexible. They work no matter how big or how small your house is. 

  

They work if you live with other people or if you have your own space, you can rent, can own. We’ve made it a very flexible plan, but it is something, at least you wake up that day knowing what part of the house to focus on and what to do when you’re there. 

  

Kathi (22:05.269) 

And we see such huge success stories over in Clutter-Free for Life. It’s inspiring. 

  

Tonya Kubo (22:10.858) 

We do. And you know what, what’s funny is what some, each person when they say is like, this is what changed everything for me. It’s always different. You know, for some it’s the weekly coaching session. And it’s not because we like boss them around, right? But it’s because they get to show up. They get to look around and go, Hey, I’m not the only one who struggles. There’s, know, 10 people on this call, 20 people on this call who have the same struggle. We talk through. 

  

Kathi (22:21.54) 

Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (22:38.412) 

like what works for us. Like I just got a great tip from somebody last week during a coaching session that’s totally changed our kitchen. And it was, my gosh. So shout out to Natasha, who’s in Clutter-Free for Life. We were talking about like ways to organize small spaces like bathrooms and stuff where you don’t have closets. And the idea came up, the little shoe boxes like the Sterilite plastic shoe boxes with the lid are a great way if you… 

  

Kathi (22:46.031) 

Do tell! You have to tell! 

  

Kathi (22:51.019) 

I love Natasha. Yeah. 

  

Kathi (23:03.471) 

Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (23:06.4) 

if you have things that are just like lots of odds and ends that get lost in a drawer, well, what it made me think of is like, I have appliances that have lots of pieces. So think of like your food processor has all those things that come with it and you’re always looking for a random piece. So I was like, what if we got these shoe boxes and I put all my meat grinder attachments in one and I put all my food processor things in another and we have our sushi-making stuff in another. 

  

Kathi (23:17.219) 

Yeah, right. 

  

Kathi (23:28.495) 

Yeah, yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (23:35.038) 

And it all stacks beautifully all modularly in a little cupboard. But I’m not having to dig through drawers and go, well, this is kind of an odd shape. So it goes here and this is really tiny. So it goes there. And Brian was super excited, right? Because Brian was just like, my gosh, now I just have to pull out that one little box and everything I need is going to be in. 

  

Kathi (23:50.277) 

It’s amazing. 

  

Kathi (23:57.943) 

It’s you know, I have that kind of system, but it’s under my stairs in the Harry Potter closet where Yes, where you just have these these tubs that pull out and all my quazen art stuff is there and yeah It’s such a good idea. Yes, absolutely Well guys, you know the thing I love the most about clutter-free for life is we’re supporting people not just in their decluttering but that decluttering 

  

Tonya Kubo (24:03.456) 

I love the Harry Potter closet though. 

  

Tonya Kubo (24:08.396) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (24:11.991) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (24:26.797) 

is the undergirding to so much more in their lives. It’s the undergirding to buying less because you can find stuff in your closet. It’s the undergirding to paying your bills on time. It’s the undergirding to cooking more because your kitchen is not in chaos. And we have a sale going on right now that this runs through December 10th. 

  

Tonya Kubo (24:30.136) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (24:43.48) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Kathi (24:54.981) 

Clutter-Free for life is 2.99 a year, but if you buy it on this sale for, know, before December 10th, you can get it for $118. It’s a huge discount because we love to have everybody kind of come in at the same time. It saves us a lot of time and energy and that’s how we support it. And we would love to have you join us today. 

  

You can go to the link in these show notes or if you just go to Kathi Lipp’s Clutterfree Academy, know, look over there. We’re going to have all sorts of information about it over there. So, and if you have questions, feel free to ask us questions over there because we would love to be able to support you in that. Tonya, what’s one thing you would like to encourage people with if they’re kind of on the fence about this? 

  

Tonya Kubo (25:32.685) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Tonya Kubo (25:47.086) 

if they’re on the fence, they just need to reach out to me. Seriously, just talk to me. I would say, you know, my email address is tonya@kathilipp.org. They can get information @kathi.link/CFL. But honestly, let’s just have a conversation. What I love about our community is we’ve got members. I mean, they’ll tell you like what they love. They’ll tell you what was hard for them when they started. They’ll tell you why they stay. 

  

Kathi (25:50.147) 

Okay. 

  

Kathi (26:02.297) 

Yeah. 

  

Tonya Kubo (26:16.766) 

We’re very honest because the truth is it doesn’t benefit us if it’s not a good fit for you either So we just want to see you. I mean, I would love to have you try it We do a 30-day guarantee. So we’ll give you your money back within 30 days if it’s not for you, but if You’re looking around and you’re like I want to live differently and I just don’t quite know how to do that day-to-day I really would encourage you to check us out. 

  

Kathi (26:22.584) 

It’s so true. 

Tonya Kubo

Thanks for having me.

 

Kathi (26:41.925)

Tonya, thanks so much. And friends, thank you for being here. You’ve been listening to Clutter-Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the clutter-free life you’ve always wanted to live.

 

  

 

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Have you ever struggled with this age-old question?
“What’s for dinner?”

In this episode of Clutter-Free Academy, Kathi and Roger Lipp take you on a journey through the incredible world of AI-driven meal planning. Say goodbye to dinner stress and discover how ethical, efficient AI tools can change your kitchen routine for the better. Join Kathi and Roger as they share their experiences with AI, making home management simpler and more effective than ever. with tips and ideas such as:

  • How to use AI to generate delicious, healthy, and budget-friendly recipes.
  • Tips for making AI your ultimate meal-planning assistant, especially for families with dietary restrictions.
  • The game-changing method to create categorized shopping lists through AI

As promised, here are the Meal Planning prompts that Kathi and Roger use to direct AI to plan their meals:

  • “Create a 7-day meal plan for a family of four, focusing on balanced nutrition and variety.” 
  • “Suggest five quick and healthy weeknight dinner recipes using chicken breast.” 
  • “Plan a vegetarian meal prep for the week, including breakfast, lunch, and dinner options.” 
  • “Generate a grocery list for a week’s worth of Mediterranean-style meals.” 
  • “Recommend three easy breakfast ideas for someone trying to increase their protein intake.” 
  • “Design a meal plan for someone with diabetes, emphasizing low glycemic index foods.” 
  • “Suggest ways to incorporate more leafy greens into my daily meals.” 
  • “Create a budget-friendly meal plan for a college student, using simple ingredients.” 
  • “Plan a week of meals that can be prepared in 30 minutes or less that my kids would like.” 
  • “Suggest creative ways to use leftover chicken, carrots, onions and French bread to reduce food waste in my meal planning.” 

Click here to be notified when the next episode of Clutter Free Academy is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Clutter Free Resources:

What is holding you back from trying AI in meal planning?

Share them in the comments!

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  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
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Meet Our Guest 

 

Roger Lipp

Roger is a productivity and quality engineer for a Fortune 50 company.

Roger helps teams reach their full productivity potential by teaching them the practical and simple steps to reach their goals. Roger and his wife, author Kathi Lipp, teach communicators how to share their message through social media and email marketing.

He and Kathi coauthored Happy Habits for Every Couple with Harvest House Publishers.

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter -Free Academy, where our goal is to help you live with less clutter and more life. And I am here with my AI expert. Okay, so he would not consider himself an AI expert. He is an AI practitioner, but in this household, he is the AI expert. It’s Roger Lipp. Hey, Rog. We do a lot.

Roger (00:33.652)

Hello.

Kathi (00:37.955)

We spend a lot of time thinking about AI in this house.

Roger (00:42.004)

Yeah, I’m thinking about getting business cards made up with AI expert or AI practitioner, yes.

Kathi (00:46.787)

AI practitioner. Yes, yes. Now, I know that there are going to be some people who are listening to this who are like freaked out that we’re talking about AI. I’m just going to give a quick disclaimer. If you are living in the modern world, you are already interacting with AI probably every single day, probably in a bunch of different ways. We just, we spend a lot of time, especially on the writing side of what we do.

talking about how to ethically use AI in our business, in our creativity, but that has leaked over into our personal life. Hasn’t it, Roger? I mean, we’re using it. Yeah. So.

Roger (01:26.964)

100 % we yeah, yeah, we use it all. I I used AI the other night to identify an animal that I wasn’t able to get a picture of, but I described it to the AI and told it where I lived and it identified it. It’s probably a marmot. OK. A marmot.

Kathi (01:39.235)

Right?

Kathi (01:47.651)

a marmot, which I knew that that was an animal or a Vegemite spread in, you know, something. But yeah, it’s fascinating, right? Where, where I, as I, you know, two years ago, when something came up, I would Google and I’d be like, you know, I describing it in Google, and then you kind of have to go read the stuff and everything. And what AI is doing is kind of gathering all of that for you.  And with all the conditions you’ve put into that and said, here’s what it most likely is. Did it give you any second tertiary animals? Yeah, right. Yeah. It was pretty, it was pretty convinced that.

Roger (02:26.996)

I could have asked for some backup just in case. It was pretty convinced, but I may go back and see, all right, if it’s not a marmot, what might it be? Could it be a fox? Could it be this or that? I don’t know. It was pretty big.

Kathi (02:40.995)

Yeah.

So, you know, some of the ways that we’ve used AI have been in banking, in planning our garden, in household projects, Aaron’s List. I mean, the list goes on and on. But today I want to talk about meal planning. Because I just want to say, the longer I meal plan, the more I recognize that this is probably the most complex household chore that I have. And, you know, I don’t think we give meal planning and cooking the props that it deserves. I know that almost every woman I know struggles with it and some guys, but let’s just be honest, in the Lipp household, this pretty much falls to me. But you also have to capture the mice and take them out to the… nether regions of our property. So, you know, right, right. Yeah, the two do not cross over. So I’m, I’m fine with this, you know, we kind of said when we started this whole adventure, you’re kind of responsible for the outside, I’m kind of responsible for the inside, but we cross over all the time on this. But meal planning mostly falls to me. And the more I do it, the the more I realize what a complex set of

Roger (03:41.076)

Not to be confused with meal planning.

Kathi (04:08.259)

Actions this is and so I have used AI to really help in the meal planning So I wanted to give some examples, but I also wanted you to kind of describe how people can do this for themselves Now we use Claude for our meal for everything now Yeah, well almost everything it doesn’t matter Claude Claude. Let’s talk about Claude during this podcast

And do you want to give a reason why here in the year of our Lord, you know, the middle of 2024, why we’re using Claude as our AI buddy?

Roger (04:46.004)

Yeah, it may change. It may change in six months. It may change in three weeks. I don’t know. It’s a bit of a horse race. Who’s in the front and who is providing the best service for us? We use a paid version of Claude, Claude .ai. That’s C -L -A -U -D -E .ai. You’ve probably heard of ChatGPT. That’s awesome as well. You can go to Chat .OpenAI .com, I think.

Kathi (04:50.307)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (05:14.019)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Roger (05:14.836)

for ChatGPT, that’s great as well. We have switched over to Claude because it has more privacy, more security features, more features that are especially important for authors in the context of keeping their work private. But it’s also very good in terms of being able to go back and forth with a conversation for a long time. Chat GPT starts losing its way after a while, but Claude can keep in the conversation and keep going. So that’s two of the reasons why I think Claude is a good choice for folks.

Kathi (05:44.195)

Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Kathi (05:50.371)

Yeah.

Kathi (05:58.915)

It has the wisdom of an 80 year old and the sharp mind of a 35 year old. And so that’s the intersection we’re trying to work within. So I wanted to describe some of the ways that I am currently using Claude for meal planning and some of my favorite features. So let me talk about this and you can help us as we go along. Go ahead, Raj. Yeah. Yeah.

Roger (06:03.796)

Ha ha ha ha!

I’m sorry.

Roger (06:22.1)

Kathi, I wonder before we get into that, we could talk a little bit about some of the early stuff that happened with AI and cooking. We watched a YouTube channel for a while where there was an AI cooking challenge and they would take recipes straight off of AI and cook with them literally, you know, following to the T. And the results were not that impressive.

Kathi (06:47.491)

It was not good.

Roger (06:52.244)

So two things in that. One, AI has come a long way since then. And the second, since then, that was what, four months ago. But AI has come a long way since then. And then the other thing is to always take what you get from AI with a little bit of a grain of, a little bit of skepticism. And.

Kathi (06:57.251)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (07:02.851)

Mm. Right? Yeah.

Kathi (07:09.443)

Right.

Kathi (07:19.203)

No, you should have said grain of salt because this is a cooking episode.

Roger (07:22.324)

Yes, grain of salt. Yes. Exactly.

Kathi (07:27.331)

Yeah, so I would say if you get a recipe and it looks crazy, maybe go back, you know, try again. But I will say, so let’s talk about one of my first uses for this. Sometimes I have a mishmash of leftovers, ingredients, things in my refrigerator. And I’m like, I am all out of creativity. My job is a creative job. And it’s like sometimes I’m just tapped out when it’s five o ‘clock and it’s time to cook something for dinner. So explain what a prompt is, Roger.

Roger (08:04.404)

Yeah, a prompt is basically how we talk to the AI. You can think of a prompt as the thing that you type in to the Google search box when you’re looking for something, right? That’s you’re prompting Google to go out and find something on the Internet for you. That’s the same kind of thing that we’re talking about with Claude, except that the prompt can be much much more detailed. You can give it all kinds of parameters. You know, when you’re searching for Google, in Google if you get too wordy with your prompt, the results actually start getting worse. You know, you have to be careful to put the right word at the front and the back, you know, it becomes a whole thing. But with Claude and the AIs, the more you give it, the better the answer is.

Kathi (08:46.627)

Mm -hmm.

Roger (09:00.884)

So you can be as detailed as you want. So you could, when I was talking about, could you help me identify this animal? I was literally typing, hey, I live at 3 ,600 feet in the Sierra mountains and I just saw an animal that’s the shape of a jumbo size squirrel, but about three feet long and maybe 18 inches high. Any idea what this could be? And you know, that.

Kathi (09:27.875)

Mm -hmm.

Roger (09:30.26)

That’s the nature of a prompt.

Kathi (09:33.571)

Yeah, okay. So guys, what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna go listen to some of our fabulous sponsors who keep this podcast free for all. And when we come back, I’m gonna share some of my favorite prompts with you for getting the results I want to help me with all the things cooking. So we’ll be right back.

Kathi (10:05.315)

Okay friends, we are back and I just wanna share some of my favorite prompts that help me get my meal planning done. So if it’s five o ‘clock and I need to get something on the table and I have not planned, which happens sometimes, you know, we had leftovers, whatever. So I can go to Claude and say, hey, I’ve got chicken, spinach and sweet potatoes and a full pantry. Like so a full pantry, you know with spices and oils and things like that. Can you suggest a healthy dinner recipe and Or I could even say can you suggest three? delicious healthy dinner recipes now, why did I add the word delicious Roger?

Roger (10:54.74)

Claude and all the AI seem to do better when you give it some adjectives. It just puts it in the right frame of mind. I don’t know that I can even describe why it works, but it does. It also works if you sometimes stroke its ego. You know, if you are an expert chef, can you help me plan a recipe because, you know, I have chicken, spinach, and sweet potatoes.

Kathi (11:18.147)

Mm -hmm.

Roger (11:24.34)

Sometimes it gets better answers.

Kathi (11:24.451)

Yeah, so yes, so you know, our first category for prompts is recipe recommendations. So I have chicken, spinach, and sweet potatoes. Can you suggest a tasty, healthy dinner recipe? It would be a great prompt. I’m looking for a delicious vegetarian appetizer to bring to a party. Any ideas? And so both of those will give you some ideas.

With the vegetarian one, I would definitely say here are some ingredients I want to use you know Cabbage or you know cheese whatever it is. So that’s one way I would love to use it number two meal planning Can you create a balanced five -day dinner menu for a family of four? My son won’t eat green peppers or mushrooms and I’m allergic to dairy. Claude can handle all of that, which is amazing. I find this to be such a great gift for somebody who has dietary restrictions. If you’re vegan, vegetarian, lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, this would be, now,

Again, check all your ingredients to make sure that they line up with what your diet actually is. I just learned the other day that Worcestershire sauce is not vegetarian. That it has, I think it’s fish in it? Yeah, I had no idea. Yeah.

Roger (13:04.98)

Like fish, yeah, I think it has fish, yeah. Yeah, so many things have fish. Hey, have you had a chance to use this for like party planning or retreat planning for meals?

Kathi (13:18.339)

I have not done, I have done party planning. So I’ll tell you one thing that I’ve done this week. We are, Roger doesn’t even know this. Our bake sale was just canceled like two minutes ago during, well, this podcast. Yeah. Breaking news. If you were planning to come to the Omo Ranch bake sale, it’s not this weekend. Yeah. Because it’s, it’s going to be the middle of May. And of course we’re, we’re predicted with snow. So, you know, that’s just where we live.

Roger (13:32.148)

okay. Good to know.

Kathi (13:47.875)

Anyway, but it helped me plan out the entire bake sale like here are all the things you need to bring with you here Like it can help with those kind of things which I think is fascinating But also when we have retreats here, we have people who are vegetarian. We have people who can’t eat gluten so I can start What I probably would do is say, here is what we normally would eat at a retreat. Can you give me some suggestions because of these modifications to the diet? And it would be a genius for that. So.

Roger (14:28.724)

Yeah, it’s part of our intake form for a retreat. Do you have any food allergies or other food restrictions? So we can just give those to Claude to create a plan for us. Or at least to start a plan for us. Yeah, we’re not just going to blindly trust. OK, rip it off the printer and give it to somebody. Here’s our shopping list. No, we don’t do that.

Kathi (14:33.347)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Kathi (14:39.843)

It’s amazing. Right. No, no, no, we’re gonna verify, absolutely.

No, we don’t do that. But here’s what I love about it. It gets over the blank page. Because when I sit down to meal plan, Roger, I can’t remember anything I’ve ever cooked in my entire life. I cannot remember anything that you’ve ever liked to eat. Like I feel like I’m starting, go ahead.

Roger (15:10.676)

You sometimes ask me, what’s your favorite thing that I cook? And I always stare at you with a blank stare. It’s like, huh, I like it all. I know.

Kathi (15:21.923)

Yeah.

Which sounds fake, by the way. Okay, so here’s another way that I love to meal plan. I need to plan five days worth of packable work lunches. What do you suggest? So, you know, some of my favorite things are chicken salad, or you don’t like to give it some of your favorite things, but just, and here’s the beautiful thing. If it comes up with five days and the middle day is, well, Kathi, you could have a stuffed green pepper with, now, Roger, what would be my response to eating a stuffed green pepper for lunch?

Roger (16:04.82)

no.

Kathi (16:06.083)

No. I hate green peppers. I hate them so – Yes. So what what could I then do with Claude who’s suggesting green peppers on Wednesday and Friday?

Roger (16:09.012)

You loved me.

Roger (16:20.532)

So this is the beautiful thing about these AIs is that the chat inside of these means you can go back and forth. Thank you for that menu suggestion. I don’t really like green peppers. Can you suggest some alternatives? So it doesn’t lose track of what it’s already the conversation so far, but it can kind of pick up from there and modify things. Well, you know, you can omit the green pepper. You could substitute in a zucchini or whatever is appropriate. So it really does have that chat aspect. You’re going back and forth with the AI. That wasn’t quite right, and here’s a suggestion. It’s OK to tell it that it got it wrong. It will apologize. It’ll trip over its own feet to apologize for getting it wrong for you. And we tend to end with thank you.

Kathi (16:58.979)

Yeah.

Kathi (17:14.883)

It’s amazing.

Yes, we do because we’re people pleasers and polite. Yes But you know if the robots do rise up, I want them to think of me favorably. I’m just kidding you guys. Okay Okay, let’s talk about my absolute favorite way to use AI This this is the game changer you guys. This is the this is the everything so my prompt would be

Roger (17:19.7)

Wait.

Yes.

Roger (17:28.596)

Ha ha ha!

Kathi (17:45.219)

Here are the seven recipes I’m going to cook this week. And I would put those recipes in if I’m getting them from, you know, if I’m retyping them from a book, if I’m getting them off the internet, whatever it is. Now.

Roger (18:00.468)

So you would cut and paste the whole recipe, all seven of the recipes. OK.

Kathi (18:02.627)

I would cut and paste the whole recipe, all seven of the recipes. AI, Claude, please make me a shopping list categorized by the aisles in a grocery store. And so I’ve got my dairy, I’ve got my bakery, I’ve got my canned goods, I’ve got my produce, I’ve got my meat and seafood. Guys?

Roger (18:31.156)

and it’s all laid out for you to just pick it up while you’re shopping.

Kathi (18:35.395)

Yes, so I take that shopping list and I go through my kitchen and I’m like, okay, well, I’ve already got onions. I’ve already got canned broth. I’ve already got garlic. I’ve already got frozen chicken. And so here’s what’s left to purchase. And then I just go onto my little Sam’s Club app or I go on to Target or to Rayleigh’s, which is a local grocery store. I type it all in, I place my order and I just drive there on Wednesdays and pick up all my groceries and my life is the best it’s ever been. It makes me so happy, so, so, so happy. I can’t even stand it. Yeah.

Roger (19:11.86)

Wonder.

Roger (19:19.156)

Hey, Kathi, for folks on a super tight budget, I know you’ve also played with adding prices to that. How did that work out?

Kathi (19:23.267)

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Well, it added out really, really well. So if you want to keep like, so I would say if you’re on a super tight budget, here’s what I would say is don’t plan the recipes, plan the ingredients. So what do you already have? Maybe what’s on sale at your local grocery store or? You know, what’s in season right now if you have a garden and plant. So reverse engineer it. So this would be more like the recipe recommendations that we talked at top. And I would say, hey Claude, I’m on a super tight budget. I only have $25 for groceries this week. This is what I have in my freezer, my fridge and my pantry. Please suggest the most budget friendly but delicious recipes that I can come up with. And I also believe it’s a great idea to keep track of prices. Some people are able to keep track of prices in their head. I’m just not one of those people. But I do like to say, you know, here at Sam’s, you know, I can put my Sam’s receipt into Claude and say, can you give me the prices here for everything. So it’ll say chicken breasts are this much or garlic is this much. And I can start to keep track of those in one clod conversation. And I can say, hey, chicken at Safeway is 9 .99 for this frozen pack of breasts. Is that a better price than at Sam’s? And it will tell me.

It’s just genius. I love it so much. But figure out, tell Claude what your problem is. Is it that you don’t have enough time? You don’t have enough energy? You don’t have enough money? What is the resource that’s the most struggling for you? Here’s another thing. What if you’re in a situation where you’re living in a camper right now? Claude, I need meals that…

Kathi (21:44.003)

can be prepared in the microwave. Or, you know, like tell Claude your circumstance and Claude will help you figure it out. Claude, I live in a food desert and the only store I have near me is Dollar General. Here’s, you know, and there, you could go and either Claude will know what’s typically at Dollar General or there’s an article online that says here are the foods that are typically at Dollar General. And you can figure out what it is that you could prepare. And by the way, if you, I think it’s Dollar Tree Meals. Okay, so there’s a Instagram or Dollar Tree Meals. If you’re on a super tight budget, I would go follow her. Yeah.

Roger (22:21.78)

Thanks.

Roger (22:36.34)

It’s almost like you’re playing a guy’s grocery game with Claude, right?

Kathi (22:39.651)

It’s it’s so true because on guys grocery tape game. You’ve got a limitation of money time Energy and you know what’s available or and you’ve got this specific challenge. I mean women are okay I know some guys cook but guys it’s mostly falling to us. We are playing guys grocery game every single day We’re trying to stay in budget. We’re trying to get something on the table quickly all of that Okay, other things that you can do cooking questions. This recipe calls for buttermilk, but I don’t have any. What can I use instead? How long can I safely store cooked chicken legs in the fridge? Those are great things. So cooking questions. Nutritional analysts. If you’re trying to up your fiber or trying to lower your macros or up your macros, like whatever it is, Claude can help with that and makes meal suggestions. Batch cooking and freezer meals.

What are some good recipes for making a big batch and freezing portions for later? Or how should I prep and freeze the components for this casserole recipe so I can assemble and cook it later? I love these things. I love these things. And by the way, we’re going to put all these prompts into the into the show notes so that you can just go grab them and see what we’re working with. And finally, number seven, utilizing leftovers. I have leftover grilled vegetables and quinoa.

How can I turn them into a new meal? I think that’s such a great question. What’s a creative way to use up extra roast chicken from last night’s dinner? We’re gonna be using this a lot as our zucchinis come in. Like, we’re gonna have a million, Claude’s gonna be helping us with the zucchini and tomato question all summer long, and it’s gonna be great. Roger, did I miss anything?

Roger (24:31.956)

You know, I love the idea of using this for things like food allergies and food preferences and those kinds of things. If it’s super important to you, like it’s important for your health, Claude can certainly help, but always double check the results. Don’t ever trust it blindly. Yeah, exactly.

Kathi (24:52.099)

Trust but verify. Yeah, yeah. If you’re like, Claude said I could use Worcestershire sauce and I’m a vegetarian, that’s something new I didn’t know I could use. No, if you’re surprised by an answer, and I don’t see a lot of mistakes with Claude, but I’m always going to verify. Just like, you know, Roger, if you told me, Worcestershire sauce is vegetarian and being a vegetarian is important to me.

I love you, but I’m not gonna trust you all the time. I’m going to verify. And so we, yes. Absolutely, absolutely. Roger, this has been super fun. And I really think that this is gonna be life -changing for a lot of people who feel stressed by cooking dinner every night, because it is every night. And I think that it’s gonna be really, really important.

Roger (25:23.828)

The more important it is to you, the more important it is to check the output.

Kathi (25:45.763)

And it’s not just dinner, it’s three meals a day. And so if Claude can help, I know wanting to eat three times a day, it’s ridiculous. Thanks for hanging out with me, Raj. Friends, you’ve been listening to Clutter -Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go live the clutter -free life you’ve always wanted to live.

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Feeling overwhelmed with your clothing budget and need some help?

In this episode, Kathi Lipp and her co-host Tonya Kubo provide busy women with practical strategies to curb clothing purchases while still loving your wardrobe. With 10 doable tips, listen how they: 

  • Use Pinterest for clothes you already own
  • Create a capsule wardrobe
  • Take advantage of a personal uniform

Whether you’re a mom managing ever-changing clothing needs for kids or a woman who wants to balance style and space, this episode provides the encouragement and tactics you need. Join Kathi and Tonya as they discuss real-life ways to shop smarter and use what you own.

Click here to be notified when the next episode of Clutter Free Academy is released.

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The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.

For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

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  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

Links Mentioned:

Rit Dye

Shout Color Catchers

Hate Stains (Kathi’s favorite stain remove)

Clutter Free Resources:

What things can you do to help you save during “No Buy July?”

Share them the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript
Kathi (00:00)
Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter -Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps every day to have less clutter and more life. And I am back with Tonya Kubo, and I’m not even joking, guys, this is our fourth time trying to record this episode. We really want you to have this information but apparently there are forces that do not want you to. And this isn’t about shame or guilt or fear. This is about buying less clothing. So I think it’s big clothing that is really messing with this podcast, Tonya Well, welcome back for the fourth time.

Tonya Kubo (00:33)
Ha ha!

Thanks for having me yet again!

Kathi (00:43)
Yet again, so guys, it’s so interesting. So we’re diving into this this coming month. We want you to have normally we’re talking about how to get stuff out of your house. But this a lot of our episodes a lot of our content this month is about bringing less stuff into your home. And so we’ve talked about that with food. I feel like clothing for us cluttery friends is one of those things where it’s very easy to Buy more than maybe we even love use or would buy again and Tanya you and I have talked about this before I would not consider you necessarily a clothes horse You always look cute. You just went to a wedding where you looked adorable You you you’ve had so many celebrations this month and you always look great

Tonya Kubo (01:35)
haha

Kathi (01:41)
I want to approach this from somebody who does probably, I like to buy clothes. Like that’s my thing. And since my body size has changed a lot over the past year, I’ve been buying more clothes. But you have two girls who are very into clothes for very different reasons. You’ve got Lily.

Tonya Kubo (01:49)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (02:08)
the the recycler, the upcycler, the she likes to buy from what am I trying to say there’s a word for she’s a thrifter that’s the word I’m looking for

Tonya Kubo (02:20)
Yes, Lily enjoys thrifting.

Kathi (02:24)
And then we have Abby who likes bright shiny things. Is this an accurate description of our two girls here?

Tonya Kubo (02:30)
Yes, yes, I would say so Lily wants nothing that is brand new or comes from a traditional store. Like she only wants thrift stuff and she will not set foot in a store unless she specifically needs an item.

Kathi (02:38)
Mm -hmm.

that’s really interesting. And then Abby, if she could have a brand new piece of clothing every single day, I’m sure that that would not be a problem for her.

Tonya Kubo (02:54)
That would actually not be enough. If she could have five new outfits a day, that might come close to meeting her needs.

Kathi (02:57)
Yeah.

I’ll never forget the first time she was really here at the Red House with us. And there were costume changes at least five times the first day she was here. There was an eating outfit. There was an outdoor outfit. There was a pre -bath outfit. There was an after bath outfit. So, but.

Tonya Kubo (03:14)
Yeah, we’re down to about three now. Three a day.

Hahaha

Kathi (03:28)
I do love clothes. I love them as an expression of who I am. And I do think that because I work full time and I’m on camera a lot, that there are, you know, I would like to have certain clothes and I would like to have those clothes be a reflection of who I am. So I also know though, that I can buy clothes mindlessly if I’m not intentional. And I’m really working on being intentional this year. So we have 10 ideas for about bringing less clothing into your life, but still getting to be the expressive person you are. So I’m going to start. And this is something that I’ve been doing that I feel like is really helping with my creative expression. And that is using Pinterest and other programs to put together outfits with clothes I already own. So.

Tonya Kubo (04:24)
Mmm.

Kathi (04:26)
I have clothes that work for me and I like to research. I would say that I’m probably a little bit more on the, well, I want to be on the boho artistic side of clothing. And so I don’t like things that are super fitted. I would like the clothing to be away from my body.

Tonya Kubo (04:42)
Mmm.

Hmm.

Kathi (04:51)
I also like to have things that are a little weird a little funky not always you know I’ve got my go -to stuff, but I like more of like buckle or Eileen Fisher those kind of things then You know I am definitely not preppy or anything like that and so I like to go on to Pinterest and Also, I am now considered midsize. Which means from probably like a 12 to an 18 size which Sometimes can fit into traditional clothing sizes, but sometimes fits in the plus size. It’s no man’s land it is hard out here for the midsize and Because things feel too small or too big it’s very hard to find exactly what I need So I like using Pinterest to kind of figure out how to put together things that I already have because it’s easier to

Tonya Kubo (05:20)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (05:50)
to put together outfits from things I already have than to go try to find something that fits, that doesn’t need to be altered. I would rather just stick to the clothes that I have and make sure that those work. And I already know I feel comfortable in them. I have certain pieces of clothing that I wanna wear till Jesus comes back. They just make me feel good. So I would rather find new ways to put those together with the jewelry I have, with…

Tonya Kubo (06:11)
Yeah

Kathi (06:18)
You know, and yes, I will buy something new every once in a while, but I want to use what I have instead of bringing new things into my life. Okay, number two, Tanya.

Tonya Kubo (06:31)
Yeah. So for number two, you know, I love how you’re talking about using more of what you have for me with two girls whose body sizes are constantly changing because they are not yet grown up. And then with me, what I have found is it is very easy to lose track of who has what, right? And so I think it’s really important to go through your closet and

Kathi (06:42)
Yeah.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (06:59)
take a really good inventory. I mean, if this is for yourself, you can take a very specific inventory. For kids, it’s a little hard because you actually never know where all their clothes are. Some might be in the car, some might be in the wash, but really looking for what are the true gaps? Because it’s one thing to be like, gosh, I wish I had a white sweater. And it’s a whole other thing to actually need a white sweater. So I think it’s important to go through,

Kathi (07:10)
Yeah.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (07:27)
everything at least twice a year and check everything from socks to underwear to outerwear and anything in between. And then make a list of the specific items you feel like you need to buy. And then I think prioritize that list according to season and need. So for us, you just mentioned we had a bunch of special occasions. Our girls don’t have dressy attire, right? They’re just kind of heading toward the end of the year. We knew they needed outfits for graduation. We also knew that I, as a mom, did not need a special outfit for graduation, but we all needed different outfits for the weddings that we’ve recently attended because one wedding was super formal, the other weddings were very casual. And it’s so nice when you can go in with an inventory and actually specifically decide, these are the gaps to fill. These are how many items I need to fill each gap.

Kathi (08:13)
Hmm.

Yeah, and I think being thoughtful about those things in advance, so you’re not panic buying, you’re not ordering a bunch of stuff online and praying that something works. I know I had an event that I needed something altered for, and it took me forever to find what I was looking for.

Tonya Kubo (08:38)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (08:50)
and I had to have a panic alteration and now I have found the alteration person. I’m so grateful. it makes a huge, right? My person is, she works out of her house. She’s very professional. She has a studio in her house, but like right now I’m kind of saving up things to take her all at once and God bless her. God bless her because now I have,

Tonya Kubo (08:55)
Same! I’ve been searching for years and finally found someone.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:20)
the pants that will work and the shirt. I don’t wanna panic buy anymore. And what you just talked about, identifying gaps in your wardrobe and saying, hey, do we have special occasions coming up or do we have special needs? I do an annual trip to Mexico with Encourage. And I know about that trip long in advance, but it’s hard to find things in March that…

Tonya Kubo (09:23)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:46)
are good for Mexico in April. So like, I just have to think about those things in advance. Okay, number three, give yourself a yearly limit on new clothes purchases. Now for some people, this might be a hundred items. I do not live in that reality, but one year I did, okay, I’m only buying 12 things this year. Now I could not have done that last year because of my changing body, but I am highly considering this for the coming year.

Tonya Kubo (09:49)
true.

Kathi (10:16)
Because the things that when I did this it was like two or three years ago that I did this and I was in a different size body I still have all those pieces. I’ve had them altered. I Because I love them so much. There was no panic buying there was no You know like this will be fine or maybe this would be good. No like those 12 items. It was once a month

Tonya Kubo (10:27)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:45)
Those are things that I love, continue to use and I would buy again. So I bought really long lasting pieces, things that I invested in. Now I will say these were more expensive pieces. These were things that it was like, yes, I wanna have this. But I know me, I am a compromiser. Like I want that hit, I wanna.

Tonya Kubo (11:04)
Mm.

Kathi (11:14)
buy something and I want to feel good in it. And when I buy those kind of compromised pieces, they don’t last. And so giving yourself a limit of what you can buy makes it so you’re more thoughtful, you’re probably saving up for those things and you’ll probably wear them longer and love them more. So I don’t know, you know, something to consider. You can’t really do that with kids

Tonya Kubo (11:41)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (11:44)
I get that because when their bodies change, you have to change with them. But.

Tonya Kubo (11:49)
Yes. And well, and I think it’s one of those things is everybody can come up with their own variation. So something we did that’s similar, if I can just jump in here, is I grew up in an environment where you went clothing shopping twice a year, right? Beginning of the fall semester, beginning of the spring semester. And what we found is that actually makes zero logical sense for us because our girls go through growth spurts at odd times.

Kathi (11:56)
Yeah.

Please.

Yes.

Yes.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (12:18)
You know, we had a situation where we did the school shopping thing in August and in October, Abby’s shoes were too tight. And when we took her to the store, we left with shoes that were three sizes bigger than the shoes we walked into the store with. Now, if I had bought her, you know, two pairs of shoes or three pairs of shoes in August, that would have been barely worn shoes that were in the donate pile. So what we do is we’re like, OK, how would.

Kathi (12:31)
Wow.

Yeah. Right.

Tonya Kubo (12:46)
exactly do we need right now to fill this gap? And then we just know that we may be back at the store buying a couple more shirts, a couple more pairs of pants, who knows what, in a couple of months. So I think that’s the other piece is maybe just limiting how much you buy at any one visit, especially if you’re shopping for people who are on growth spurts or have a growth spurt coming.

Kathi (13:00)
Yes, I think so.

I love it. Yep, exactly. You know, you have to work for what, you know, and when we were growing up, you would go to the big city to buy those clothes. And that’s not really how people live anymore. I mean, some of us do, but for the most part. Okay, number four, Tanya.

Tonya Kubo (13:19)
Mm -hmm.

So this is another great one for kids, but it’s also a great one if you are someone whose wardrobe is nearing the capacity of the space you have to store your clothing. So whether that’s dressers or closets or whatever, which is implementing a one in one out policy, right? For every new item you buy, donate or sell an existing item. You know, only like when you’re at the store, be thinking what item do I have at home that this item replaces?

Kathi (13:50)
Yes.

Tonya Kubo (13:57)
if it’s not filling a gap that you’ve already identified. And I feel like this has done a great job of teaching my girls how to manage the ebb and flow of stuff into their own spaces. So that’s sort of my thought. Like, I don’t know, maybe I’m overly romantic, but I just feel like it’s a great way without shame or judgment to teach clutter -free principles to younger people.

Kathi (14:14)
Yes, I, I, I.

Tonya, can I tell you how I have implemented this in two very practical ways? One, I have a clothes hamper for things I’m gonna donate. So those go into the clothes hamper, once they’ve been washed, they go into that clothes hamper, and when that’s full, I take it to our local donation center. Also, I have a set number of hangers, and everybody can determine their number of hangers. But if my drawers are not closing,

Tonya Kubo (14:41)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:56)
Or I don’t, I’ve run out of hangers, it means I have too many clothes. And that I need to go and curate that wardrobe. Okay, number five. Wait before you buy. So you might, if you are an impulse shopper, and I would say I lean towards that. I know a lot of people struggle with it way more than I do, but I do lean towards it. I would say,

Tonya Kubo (15:01)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (15:24)
Can you give yourself a seven day waiting period? If it’s not on sale, consider ordering that item to try on at home. Maybe to say, hey, I’m gonna try this on at home. I have a hard time trying things on like in dressing rooms. I don’t know why. If you do.

Tonya Kubo (15:35)
Mm -hmm.

Because you get sweaty and gross as somebody who spent some time in the dressing room last week, I will just tell you, ew.

Kathi (15:51)
Yes, yes, I don’t like it and especially with buying jeans. Can I just say buying jeans? I found some jeans at Target that worked for me and I ordered two more pairs because I’m like if I don’t have to try on jeans for another year, year and a half, that’s a good thing. It’s a really good thing. Keep the tags on until you actually wear it. In case you want to return it if you’re just not feeling it.

Tonya Kubo (16:08)
It’s a good life.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (16:19)
Then it’s okay to return that and be a good returner. That’s the thing I think that’s the most important thing. I only buy from places that are really good about returns Nordstrom is really good about returns Old Navy is really good about returns Target is really good about returns Macy’s I have found is not so I don’t buy from them anymore I have to know that it’s I need to not be shamed during a return

Tonya Kubo (16:23)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

You

Kathi (16:48)
And I have never had an ounce of shame from Nordstrom Target or Old Navy. They’ve been like, yeah, bring it back, it’s fine. And now I have bought things on clearance that I could no longer return. And I’m like, you know, somebody is going to love this. Okay, Tonya, we’re gonna take a break. We’re gonna go get this podcast paid for. And then we come back, you’re gonna talk about a capsule wardrobe. And I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on that. So.

Tonya Kubo (17:00)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (17:17)
We’re gonna go and come right back. Okay, we are back. Number six, Tonya, of how to buy less clothing.

Tonya Kubo (17:24)
Yay! Bring in the tip from the person who’s probably like the least proactive in handing out wardrobe advice. But I have to say that as somebody who doesn’t do a lot of clothes shopping, as somebody who just doesn’t enjoy like this whole experience of dressing myself, having items that easily mix and match.

Kathi (17:32)
No!

Tonya Kubo (17:49)
has been a game changer for me. And there’s two reasons. I live in a tiny house, right? Okay, not the official tiny home, but I live in a smaller home. We have two closets in this house. And so I need my clothes to take up as little space as possible. So I love having just a few pieces that work together, whether that is, you know, I know some people really like tank, like shells, right? So like little dressy tanks that you can pair with a bunch of different cardigans or a couple of cardigans for different looks. Same thing with short sleeve shirts or long sleeve shirts. I know some people like to dress things up with a vest, but for me, it’s really about finding fewer pieces. And this goes back to what you were saying earlier. They do, I find, need to be well -made. If you want to embrace the capsule wardrobe, these need to be pieces that can stand up to being worn three to five times in a week which in fast fashion, a lot of times those clothes are made thinking you’re gonna wear them maybe once a month. So you wanna be able to have clothes that can actually stand up to regular wear, which means they’re also standing up to regular washing and drying or hanging to dry and really looking at what are the pieces that just feel like you, that you’re okay wearing frequently. I’m a fan of color schemes, so I wear a lot of black and white with a little bit, like my favorite color is purple.

Kathi (18:46)
Yeah. Right.

Tonya Kubo (19:12)
I like to wear purples in varying tones. I don’t enjoy lavender, but like bright deep tones. I like magenta’s, any shade in the purple family, any shade in the pink family. I don’t do a lot of green. I don’t do a lot of blue, but I find that I get enough variety in just having black, white, a little bit of gray, some purple, some pink, and I’m happy.

Kathi (19:32)
Yeah, you know, and I think that that’s a really good point. You can go onto Pinterest and you can find color schemes that you can use and you can say, no, these are Kathi colors. And I was just at Moose’s oncologist and you know, I hate going there because of why we have to go there, but it is the most warm and loving.

Tonya Kubo (19:46)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (20:00)
Human being collection you will ever find and we just love those people and Ashley who is the receptionist every time I go in there she’s like I I love Your colors. I love what you wear. And so I I dress up for Ashley now I really do because she just makes me feel so good. What’d you say Tonya? Right and

Tonya Kubo (20:18)
dress up for somebody. I said you gotta dress up for somebody why not Ashley?

Kathi (20:26)
You know she goes you always wear these warm tones And it just makes me feel like you are so loving and approachable and she goes and I know you are loving it approach and I’m like, okay colors Can make us feel a certain way and so find the colors that make you feel that certain way I think that’s really really important. Okay number seven We’ve already talked a little bit about this but repair or alter clothing you already own. I have a pair of Jag pants

Tonya Kubo (20:39)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (20:55)
These are they’re like cargo pants. I’ve had them I’m not exaggerating for at least 15 years and If you turn them inside out there you can see the history of these clothing They’ve been taken in a couple of times my mom offered to take them in one more time and then they have patches on the inside of them where I was developing whole

Tonya Kubo (21:03)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (21:19)
I love these pants so much. I love them. Like if I could have one piece of clothing that’s like these are the most Kathi clothing, these are my favorite. But like Tanya and I find that alterations person that you’re just like, okay, they can perform miracles and they can do it when you need them to do it. I’ve got my person, she’s in Roseville. So it’s a bit of a hike. But we have to go to Roseville anyway because that’s where Moose has her oncology appointments. And I can take my things there and she has a room for me to change in and she pins it and she will have it done the next day. Now I don’t come back at least for a week, but it’s done. It’s done. And alterations are not cheap, but factor that into the purchase of the clothing, especially if you’re short. I’m not

Tonya Kubo (21:50)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (22:13)
short but I’m 5 ‘6 which is an inch taller than the average woman in the United States and I still have to have all my pants altered so I just factor that in now but you have found your person I have found my person it’s like finding that hairstylist isn’t it Tonya?

Tonya Kubo (22:20)
Mm -hmm.

Right, well and to your point, it’s if you can find your person who does alterations and have them be your person, then you will over time learn how much certain repairs cost to factor those into the purchase. Right, like we just took Lily’s graduation dress in, we just needed the straps to be shortened a little bit, that was $10. I found out during that same visit that having your pants hemmed,

Kathi (22:44)
Yes. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (22:58)
is $10. Having a seam repair is $8. So now I know if something happens to a shirt of mine or whatever, it’s like, okay, do I want to pay $8 to have the seam repaired or not? Right? And I think that can be so helpful versus going, my gosh, my favorite shirt just tore. It is irreplaceable. It is irreparable. Now I have to go buy a new shirt because I don’t know about you, Kathi but before I under like before I had,

Kathi (22:59)
Wow.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (23:28)
tailors to work with, I would just assume, well, it’s cheaper to buy a new shirt.

Kathi (23:33)
Right. And we don’t want to be wasteful like that. Yes, absolutely.

Tonya Kubo (23:36)
And sometimes, don’t get me wrong, it is cheaper to buy a new thing. But not always.

Kathi (23:41)
Yes, but is it better? That’s the question. Is it better to buy a new thing? Okay, number eight, Tanya. We’re gonna blow through these.

Tonya Kubo (23:45)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah, so this is a big one, right? Which is unsubscribe from the emails that tempt you to do more shopping. Right? Like I, some people have better self -control than others, right? You can get hit every single day with a Kohl’s ad and never open that ad. Yay for you. Other people need to open it each time because there might be something here that I can’t live without that wasn’t in yesterday’s email.

Kathi (24:00)
Hmm, it’s so true.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (24:20)
So if you are that person who really just can’t not open them, then unsubscribe and trust that when you’re ready to go to that store again, you can subscribe again and usually you will get the first time customer deal, whatever that deal is. So you don’t have to worry about, there’s some great deal that I’m going to miss. The other thing that you can do if you really do feel like you want to stay on that email list because of something that may happen down the line and you want to know what they’re offering, use your email filters. Every email service provider has a filter. I just actually, I’ve been doing this, Kathi, you would be so proud of me, 20 minutes a day. I’ve been spending 20 minutes a day. I just go through the emails I’m getting and I just set up filters. And so now I have filters set up in my inbox, as of today, by the way. I have a whole shopping folder.

Kathi (25:02)
What?

Wow.

Tonya Kubo (25:16)
And then I have one that’s for under shopping. I’ve got one for groceries, one for restaurants, and one for like miscellaneous stuff, which was really the clothing shops. And I have it set now. It bypasses my inbox. So it instantly archives the email and it puts it in this folder. I never see it.

Kathi (25:35)
That is amazing. That is amazing. I do it a little differently. I have a totally different email for all those things. And so if I’m looking for it, I can go get it. Like this, we’re recording this the week of my birthday and there are all these like discounts and free little offers and things like that. Like, you know, I’m going to be jamming through all that stuff. And I, but it doesn’t tempt me in my regular email. And that’s a beautiful thing. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (25:42)
Mm -hmm.

Right.

Mm -hmm.

Yes.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (26:05)
Number nine, this is the question I ask myself. Will I wear this 30 times? I don’t know why I came up with the number 30, but will I wear this 30 times? And if the answer is no, then why am I buying it? Or if I’m trying to justify when I could wear this 30 times. Now, there are certain exceptions. Some dress clothes, I probably will not wear 30 times, but if it’s something that it’s like it’s for a special occasion that kind of thing I’m okay if it’s less but could I wear this to a wedding on a cruise? To church could I have it altered to wear a different way? I think it’s just an interesting question and number 10 Tonya

Tonya Kubo (26:56)
Yeah, so number 10, I feel like is how I live my life, which is create a personal uniform with a few key pieces you love. So I already talked about this a little bit in that, you know, I like black, white with a splash of purple or pink in it. And that makes a lot of sense for me. It works for my lifestyle. What it also does is it ensures that almost anything I pull out of the closet will go with whatever I’m wearing.

Kathi (27:05)
Yes. Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (27:26)
I discovered recently that, you know, I had a couple of things that were printed. I don’t usually wear a lot of prints. I’ll wear usually solid colors, but I had a couple of things that were printed and it was like, you know, trying to put a cardigan over it, but the cardigan hit like the wrong part of the print. And I was just like, I do not need printed things. Right. And most of these were just because of the way that the graphic was, but I would just say a personal uniform. Like for me,

Kathi (27:26)
Yes.

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (27:54)
I know Monday through Friday, I am going to be wearing jeans because I almost never leave the house except if I’m taking kids to school or from, but I’m going to wear jeans. And if I’m recording, I’m going to wear a nicer top. And if I’m not recording, I’m going to wear a t -shirt. And it takes me like six minutes to get ready in the morning because I have that personal uniform, but it also,

Kathi (28:10)
Yep, there you go.

Tonya Kubo (28:19)
And Kathi, I want you to talk a little bit about this, because I feel like you are somebody who has actually taught on this more than I ever have, is I’m actually more productive because I haven’t wasted valuable energy making those decisions first thing in the morning.

Kathi (28:33)
Yeah, you know, I have to decide the night before what I’m wearing or the week before. You know, I put that all out because in the morning I need to hit the ground running like you do. I need to know what I’m wearing because I need to know what my day is going to consist of. So, you know, almost every day I’m recording something like we are today. And so I’ve got a cute top on. I’ve got some pants on.

Tonya Kubo (28:36)
Yeah.

Kathi (29:02)
Now, there are days where I’m going to be cooking all day because, you know, I’ve got a cookbook coming out and that’s probably going to be more of a yoga pant jean kind of, you know, situation. And so knowing what my day is going to be and I love the concept. Somebody told me this like 20 years ago and I love this. Getting dressed to the shoes. So looking what your day is going to be like.

Tonya Kubo (29:28)
Hmm.

Kathi (29:31)
not flopping around in slippers and then having to figure it out all day. Like I’ve got indoor shoes. I’ve got indoor shoes that I wear to keep my, you know, to not track the outside in. I learned that deeply when we had chickens and it just makes a lot of sense. Tonya, I’m gonna give a bonus. This is 11, but we didn’t really do 11.

Tonya Kubo (29:50)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (29:58)
This is gonna be a weird one, but I think it’s really it’s been something I’ve been doing a lot lately dying my clothes Some okay

Tonya Kubo (30:07)
I need to hear more. No, no, we did not talk about this, so you’re gonna have to dig a little deeper and hear from me.

Kathi (30:12)
Yes, so I have some clothing that I love, but maybe it’s gotten a stain on it. Or we have a friend of the podcast who sent me a lovely shirt for that chicken themed shirt. It’s a bright pink. Now, I realized I was not wearing it. Redheads and pink don’t always go great together. Just not going to lie.

Tonya Kubo (30:39)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (30:41)
So what I have done is I bought some Rit fabric dye and I have some bonder. It’s like a bonding agent that you do with the Rit dye. And you have to, when you’re dyeing, ask me how I know this, you need a big pot so that the clothes are not like on top of each other. You want them to be kind of loose in the pot.

Tonya Kubo (30:46)
Mm -hmm.

Hmm.

Kathi (31:10)
And I tend to dye things a navy blue, because that’s a color I like to wear. But any rich color, like a forest green or a navy blue or a deep purple could probably work for this. I don’t tend to go lighter in my dyeing. I’m not that skilled. But like I said, a forest green, a dark purple, a red would be really good.

Tonya Kubo (31:19)
Mm -hmm.

Got it.

Kathi (31:39)
any of those darker or deeper colors and then I I dye the clothes and then I wash the clothes and When I wash the clothes again just the first time Shout has these things called color catchers that Yes, and so my mom’s a quilts artist. She uses those quite often and so those color catchers catch the color you know the first time you wash them

Tonya Kubo (31:58)
Yes, I’ve seen those.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (32:09)
But I have saved a lot of clothing that I really, really love by dyeing it a navy. And I’m not re -buying the clothes, I’m buying the dye, which I usually buy at Joann’s and I wait till I have a coupon and things like that. But I’ve saved a lot of sweatshirts, a lot of t -shirts, pants, because I have dyed them a navy blue.

Tonya Kubo (32:17)
Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

Okay, so now I have to ask a question. This is of course on behalf of the listeners. I have no personal stake in the answer to this question. But how, right, how does that work with like stained clothing? Like if you have grease stains on something, would dyeing fix that or no?

Kathi (32:40)
Of course, you’re in service to them.

Yeah. So I try to get out as much of the stain as possible. I use, now I can’t remember the name of the stain remover I use, but I will find it and I will post it. And it’s a special formulation that really gets a lot of stains out. As long as this can be as light as possible, I feel, and here’s the thing. I dye dangerously. Like if I dye something and it doesn’t come out how I would like it to, I’m okay with that because I was probably gonna pitch that piece of clothing anyway. So I get as much of the stain out as I possibly can and then I die dangerously and I would say 19 times out of 20 I have saved that piece of clothing. And yeah, so I’m glad you like that. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (33:18)
Hahaha.

Mm -hmm. Got it.

Nice.

Kathi (33:46)
Tanya, we are doing something interesting in the month of July in Clutter Free Academy. Can you talk a little bit about this?

Tonya Kubo (33:52)
We are.

Yeah, so each July we typically do this challenge in Clutter Free Academy, which is our free Facebook group. We also do it in our paid membership program, Clutter Free for Life, which is a no buy July, right? Where our goal is to not have any discretionary spending. However, this year we’re doing things a little bit differently in that we are having a low buy July challenge. And the reason we’re doing a low buy July challenge is for a couple of reasons. First of all. We love our cluttery people. Our cluttery people want so desperately to be A++ students in everything that we host, because they are such super fans of all things clutter free and clutter free for life. And the problem is, is our members would get really upset if they had something unexpected happen. For instance, the refrigerator would die, the washing machine died, and they’d say, I failed the challenge because I had to go buy a new washer. And what you realize, Kathi, so credit goes to Kathi, send all your kudos and compliments via email to her.

Kathi (35:01)
complaints, we’re fine with that too.

Tonya Kubo (35:03)
Yeah, usually I take the complaints. You can have the compliments, but Kathi’s, you know, pointed out that it kind of shifted the focus away from where it really needs to be. The goal here is to minimize the amount of clutter coming into your home by minimizing impulse buying and reducing the amount of discretionary spending we do because we know that costs are going up all the time. So a low buy July isn’t so much about

Kathi (35:05)
Yeah

Tonya Kubo (35:30)
what you do or don’t buy. It’s really about the intention that goes into each buying decision in the month of July. And I think Kathi, you are the one who said, like, this is the kind of principle that can get carried on throughout the year. It doesn’t live and die in the month of July each year.

Kathi (35:50)
I will tell you, Tanya, we’ve done this no buy July a couple of times, now we’re doing low buy July, and I am amazed how starting in July, we buy almost nothing from Amazon. It’s amazing. And August, September, October, we buy almost nothing from Amazon. And then starting in, you know, January, February, we start to buy more from, well, December really, because of Christmas and stuff like that. But it really does change our habits. Now it changes our habits for about six months and then we start to fall back into old habits. But we’re getting better and better every year. And let me give you an idea of how I think low buy versus no buy can really set us free.

Tonya Kubo (36:29)
Right.

Kathi (36:43)
You know, we just talked about dyeing our clothes, right? by the way, also black. If you like to wear black, black is a great color to dye your clothes. Yeah, there you go, there you go. But in a low buy July, one of the activities I would love to see you do is buy the dye so that you could save the clothes.

Tonya Kubo (36:46)
Mm -hmm.

I was thinking I’m just gonna dye everything black.

oooo

Kathi (37:11)
Do you see what I’m saying? Like that small purchase, you know, you’re not buying clothes in July, I’m hoping, you know, or you’re buying just a couple of things. But what’s a great activity to save some of those clothes or to keep you from buying new black cargo pants, new black t -shirts, you dye the stuff you already have. You know, if you have a bunch of eggs at your house and instead of,

Tonya Kubo (37:29)
Mm.

Kathi (37:41)
buying the angel food cake, you say, I’m gonna make it, but you don’t have the cake flour? I’d love for you to go buy the cake flour so that you can learn this new skill and you can make your own angel food cake. Those are the kind of things that I would love for you to see you incorporate into a low buy July. So you have these new skills that will carry you forward.

into not wasting food, into not buying clothes. That’s the kind of ingenuity and coolness I want to see in a low buy July

Tonya Kubo (38:18)
Right, and what I’m really looking forward to, and I hope if you are listening and you’re not in the Clutter Free Academy Facebook group, I really hope you’ll join us this month because what I’m looking forward to is the creativity. We have some of the most creative, generous members you can possibly imagine. And I just know that this year with this difference in focus, they are going to knock our socks off with some of the ways that they choose to implement these principles.

Kathi (38:30)
Yes.

Guys, this was a super -sized episode, but I think we had some great conversations, and I hope you will join us over in the Clutter Free Academy Facebook group. We’ll put the link here in the notes, but if you just search for Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy, it’s free to join, and you’re gonna love the encouragement you’re gonna get this year. Tanya, thanks so much for being here.

Tonya Kubo (39:12)
Thanks for having me.

Kathi (39:13)
And friends, thank you for being here. You’ve been listening to Clutter Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

 

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Are you inspired to take on this “Wear Everything You Own” challenge? What are you hoping to discover?

Share your answer in the comments.

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Meet Our Guest 

Lauren Horst

Lauren makes casual and relatable TikToks, encouraging others to declutter and simplify their life while also maintaining a sense of style!

Find her on Tik Tok at Lauren Horst.

Transcript

Kathi (00:00)
Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life.

And I have been very, very excited about this interview for a while now. I want to introduce you guys to Lauren Horst. Now, we just found out that I thought we just knew each other. She recognized the podcast. She’s listened to the podcast before. But turns out she was one of the interns at my church where my kids were in the high school group. So we’re like…

old friends, Lauren, and we didn’t even realize it.

Lauren (00:42)
Totally. San Jose, as big as it is, is such a small world.

Kathi (00:46)
It really is, isn’t it? It’s just crazy. Now, here’s the thing. I am so excited about this because I came across you on TikTok. And let’s just say, TikTok’s a big place, right? And you came up in my FYP, if you guys don’t know it, that for you page. So it’s not like I was subscribed to Lauren. It was just saying, the algorithm was saying, hey, I bet you’d like Lauren.

And so I started following her and she was cleaning out her closet. Wait, you say it the same every single day. Go ahead and say it.

Lauren (01:21)
Yes, I say cleaning out my closet by wearing everything I own.

Kathi (01:25)
Yes. Every day she shows up on TikTok and she’s put together a new cute outfit. I started following her and I thought, every once in a while I get my bravery up and I go to one of these big TikTokers and I say, would you come on my podcast? Lauren’s like, I know your podcast. I’m like, okay, this is crazy. Now to find out, we were in the same building forever and ever. I was so excited about this topic because

You’re not just putting together outfits, which is what, let’s be honest, a lot of 30, 40, 50-year-olds are doing on TikTok, and I love to watch it, but you’re cleaning out your closet at the same time, right? Okay, I wanna know what inspired you, first of all, to do this challenge, and second of all, to do it on TikTok.

Lauren (02:08)
Yes, exactly.

You know, I love anything related to decluttering. I feel like it’s just a hobby. And obviously minimalism is a really big trend right now, but I just think it makes so much sense for your life, for your stress levels, for just managing your home. And so I’ve watched many, many a video where people declutter their closet, kind of go through, you know, reorganize things, get rid of things, try things on. And I feel like I’ve just taken

Kathi (02:26)
Yeah.

Lauren (02:46)
bits and pieces of wisdom from people that I’ve watched. And I’m like, you know, one piece that I really like is when you try an item of clothing on, you try it on, you wear it for, you know, three to five minutes as you’re looking in the mirror, you feel unsure about it, you’re not sure, it kind of goes into a maybe pile that ends up just in the abyss of, you know, the closet. And so for example, one piece of advice that…

Kathi (03:10)
Right.

Lauren (03:13)
I’ve taken from someone over the years is if you are unsure about a piece of clothing, you have to wear it the whole day. By the end of the day, you will know whether or not you want to keep it, you’ll know whether or not you feel great, you love it, or you’ll be like, yeah, no, this is an item that I am ready to pass along. So I feel like I’ve just taken all these little bits and pieces. And that kind of inspired me to do this closet clean out, which is really a slow and steady wins the race method.

And that has really taken months, but it’s something where, you know, at the end, I will have a much more curated wardrobe that really works for my lifestyle.

Kathi (03:52)
Okay, listeners to the podcast know that my favorite word in the whole world is curated. Because, yes, because it’s on purpose. It’s honed in and it’s on purpose. And I love this so much. Okay, why did you do it on TikTok?

Lauren (03:58)
Oh really?

Um, you know, I, well, I just love TikTok. I mean, TikTok is like the vortex where all of a sudden you’ve spent two hours, you know, searching around things and discovering all sorts of things you never knew. And I feel like TikTok is just such an easy platform. I film directly into TikTok. I don’t, I really don’t do like hardly any editing on my videos other than just a voiceover at the end. So for me, making a TikTok takes me approximately two minutes every day.

Kathi (04:13)
Me too.

Yes.

Mmm.

Lauren (04:38)
which is about all that’s doable with my life.

Kathi (04:41)
right? And did you want to do it for, I mean, I love TikTok too. Did you want to do it for accountability? Were you sharing it with some people you already knew and trying to inspire them? Like what? Because it’s, I love TikTok too, but I am not filming myself on there every day.

Lauren (05:01)
Yeah, I think accountability and the whole idea is that if you’re actually wearing all of… So most people, what is it that they say? Most people only wear 20% of their wardrobe, 80% of the time, whatever that statistic is. And so what I was finding is you wear all your favorite pieces, you do laundry, they’re back in your closet, then you wear them again. You do laundry, they’re back in your closet. And what’s happening with the rest of the clothes that are hanging there? Well…

Kathi (05:13)
Yes, exactly. Yeah.

Lauren (05:29)
If you are challenged to wear everything, you know, when it comes to choosing an item in your closet, all your favorites are in the laundry and you go to pick out a shirt and you’re not that excited about it. I mean, at what point in time will you be excited about it when it’s the only option there and you still don’t really want to wear it, then it’s probably just something that you need to declutter.

Kathi (05:51)
And I feel like this theory goes for a lot of things. Like, those frozen bags of vegetables in your freezer, if I keep passing over them, maybe it’s just time to say, you know, I wanna eat healthy, but lima beans are not the way to do it for me. I’m happy for other people, but it’s not the way to do it for me.

Lauren (06:11)
Yes, exactly.

Kathi (06:15)
Were you surprised by anything in this process of getting rid of clothes? What I’ll do is I’ll make sure that we link to your TikTok here in the notes so people can kind of see what your style is. I would say you’re pretty classic with a sparkle thrown in. Does that feel like an accurate?

Lauren (06:38)
Totally. I, you know, I’m in my mid 30s. So I love classic silhouette. I work with college students. And so I do not like to be mistaken for a college student. I want to dress accordingly. But I love color patterns, prints, sequins. I do a lot of events and so get dressed up for certain things like that. And so yeah, I definitely wear some more bold pieces. But in my everyday to day life, I would say I’m pretty classic.

Kathi (06:42)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, and did you discover anything about yourself, your closet, the way you want to dress through this process?

Lauren (07:17)
You know, I think I have just really discovered some silhouettes and some cuts that just don’t necessarily work for my body type or my lifestyle. And I consider myself to be pretty frugal. I love to find a good deal on clothes. And so something that has been challenging is I’m like, well, I don’t wanna just give this away to goodwill because I spent money on it. And it was now it’s, now it seems like a waste of money.

but really being able to look at my closet and have space and not be searching for things. And every item I grab is something that I love wearing. That completely outweighs the money that I’ve wasted in the past. And now I know what I’m looking for when I’m shopping. I know the type of cut I need. I know the type of sleeve that I need. And so when I pull something out of my closet, sometimes I can immediately say like, oh yeah, I’ve had this shirt. I’ve worn this before.

Kathi (08:06)
Mmm.

Lauren (08:13)
but this is no longer gonna work for me now that I know what I’m looking for.

Kathi (08:17)
You know, I think one of the best things you can learn from all this, first of all, I feel like sometimes we have to spend money on those quote unquote mistakes to really understand our own personality. The people that we admire the way they dress, they don’t get it right the first time every time. But I will say my best frugal fashionista friends, they are really good at returning things that they’re like, this is not the vibe.

I love that, you know, sometimes we have things sitting around in our closet for years because we feel like, okay, well, I just bought this, it doesn’t work for me, but I can give it away after five years. It’s like, no, don’t let that mistake sit in your closet. That’s all it is, is a mistake. Get it into the hands of somebody who will love it. And we’re going to take a quick break. But when we come back, you have a special way of giving things away that I think others will be interested in, or who you give it away to.

And I think people will be interested in hearing that. So we’re going to take a quick break and come right back. OK, guys, we are back with Lauren Horst. And we are talking about cleaning out your closet by actually wearing everything in it. And you do get rid of things. I see you get, I don’t know if you get rid of things every day, but I would say at least every third day, you’re putting something into a pile to give away. Wouldn’t you say? Yeah.

Lauren (09:42)
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. Maybe not every single day, but I mean, pretty often, I feel like it is, it’s much easier to give away things like this slowly over time because I have time to think about it. I’m seeing things in my closet versus just, you know, a two hour closet clean out where you feel like you need to make a decision right away. So I definitely have gotten rid of a lot, which

You know, on the other hand, I’m like, man, I still have so many clothes, which goes to show you like the inner hoarder of clothing that I actually have.

Kathi (10:14)
Well, you know what? I think clothes are such a beautiful self-expression. And there’s responsible ways of building a wardrobe. And I often hear you say things like, oh, I bought this five years ago. And you wear a lot of your clothes all the time. And let’s be clear, you have to get dressed seven days a week. You’re going to church, you’re going to work.

maybe Saturdays you can kind of kick it back, but you’re getting dressed all the time. And for us to be able to do that and do it and keep it interesting for us as self-expression, you need some clothes, you need some depth in your wardrobe. Now, you give away your clothes too, so talk about that.

Lauren (11:03)
Yeah, so usually what I do is the first draft of the clothes that I’m getting rid of, I work at a university and I bring them to my office and the girls who work in my office get to go through everything first. So they get first picks of everything and I know kind of now their style. So sometimes I’ll pick something out of my closet and I’m like, oh, I know so-and-so would really love this. Turns out they do.

So it’s really fun coming to work because some days I come to work and everyone in the office is wearing like my hand-me-downs Which is such a compliment

Kathi (11:37)
That’s so awesome. Yeah, and I think so often when it comes to clothes, our quote unquote mistakes are just to pass through our hands. Like those girls in your office may have never had the opportunity to buy those clothes, whether it’s budget or they don’t shop in that store, et cetera, but you get it into their hands. And what a gift that is. And I feel like as I clean out my closet, I get more specific about

the gaps in my closet. So I know exactly what I want to complete an outfit or to bring in a new trend that’s I’m not really trendy, but there are some things I like and I want to try out. But I get very specific instead of just buying things because they look cute. Do you feel like the challenge has changed your shopping habits at all?

Lauren (12:30)
You know what it has? Because along with clearing out my closet, I’ve been also trying to implement a one in, one out. So when I’m shopping and when I see something, at this point, I’ve kind of narrowed down my closet enough that pretty much everything in it, I like for the most part. And I’m just starting to be more ruthless to just be a little bit more minimal with my clothing. But I have to outweigh, this is a really cute dress. Do I wanna get rid of one of my other dresses?

Kathi (12:38)
Yeah.

Lauren (12:58)
for this item. And a lot of times the answer is no.

Kathi (13:02)
Yeah, I think when you’ve been buying clothes for a couple of decades, you start to really know what works. I’ve just recently lost a lot of weight. Thank you, Ozepik. It’s a testament to me that so many of my clothes I don’t want to get rid of, I want to get altered. Because I’m like, yeah, no, that one has served me well.

I don’t want to get rid of it. I want to continue wearing it. I just need to do that in an altered state. I think that’s beautiful. Have you noticed that there are certain brands of clothing that fit you better, that are more for the silhouette you’re looking for, or is it still, you know, is it kind of all over the map?

Lauren (13:51)
You know, it’s a little bit all over the map. But I really like J. Crew Factory. That’s one that I really like. Madewell a lot of times has, I really like their, this is actually one of those shirts, like 100% light spun cotton. I love that fabric and that feeling. So more so rather than specific brands, because I also do like to shop off Poshmark, I like to thrift. I’m looking more now for certain fabrics.

Kathi (13:57)
Mm-hmm.

Lauren (14:21)
Um, so definitely trying to stay away from the polyester as much and just looking for fabrics that will last longer, um, especially with sweaters. And, uh, because then I know that I’ll have them, the longevity in my closet will last much longer than some of the fabrics that are a little bit cheaply made.

Kathi (14:21)
Oh.

Okay, and that’s called spun cotton, what you’re wearing right there.

Lauren (14:42)
It’s like it’s a light spun cotton and so it kind of has that gauzy cotton material. That’s just super comfy Yeah, I love like the soft super soft comfortable shirts

Kathi (14:44)
Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah.

So I would love to hear any of your tips now that you’ve done this closet curation for thrifting. Because you can’t really say when you’re thrifting, oh, I want a coral sweater that has three buttons that is a size XL. You don’t get to do that. So how do you thrift without bringing too much into your wardrobe?

Lauren (15:19)
Um, you know, with thrifting, I’m really not looking so much for the basics to add to my closet that you can kind of find, you know, at Target or wherever else as far as you know, basic t shirt, tank top, things like that. thrifting, I’m looking more for something that’s vintage, something that’s one of the one of a kind. One of the things that I found more recently was this kind of silky material, it actually had shoulder pads that were sewn in that I cut out. And it has music notes all over it, which is perfect.

Kathi (15:24)
Mmm.

Uh-huh.

I hope… Yeah.

Lauren (15:49)
I work in music. I was like, that’s such a fun novelty item. It’s cream. So it’s still a neutral and will go with everything that I wear for work. But something like that for $5 or whatever it was, I’m like, that is a one of a kind find that really when I’m thrifting, I’m just kind of looking for some of those novelty items that are at a good price.

Kathi (16:09)
Oh, I love it. That’s such a great perspective to go in with, that you’re looking for those, you know, one of a kind of things. That you, it’s not going to be your basic jeans necessarily. You might find those there. I don’t know, jeans are just a whole other thing. It’s just a, jeans and bathing suits. And I’m going to Cabo this month and it’s like, I haven’t come to tears, but I’ve…

Lauren (16:28)
Totally.

Kathi (16:38)
thought about tears when it comes to shopping for that. So I kind of push back on capsule wardrobes. I feel like it puts a lot of pressure for your clothes to do 10 things with one item, which can be great.

I don’t know. It’s hard for me to say, oh, I’m going to embrace a capsule wardrobe. How do you feel about capsule wardrobe?

Lauren (17:10)
You know, capsule wardrobes are so popular right now. And it is just one of those things that I feel like I have not been able to get behind. It makes perfect sense that what you buy and piece together matches with everything else. So you can really mix and match. So I think it does make sense for a lot of people who are just looking for that ease and getting dressed in the morning. I think for me, I just love color and novelty and different types of outfits.

Kathi (17:18)
Mm-hmm.

Lauren (17:36)
So, you know, one day I’ll be wearing jeans, a sweater, and boots, and the next day I’ll be wearing some crazy print dress, you know, with super bright colored heels or whatever it may be. So I think because my, I don’t know, my mood or my aesthetic changes from day to day, I don’t wanna feel locked into a capsule wardrobe. I would rather have a little bit of a bigger closet with more variety because I think just getting dressed is fun, it’s an expression of who you are.

Kathi (17:51)
Yeah.

Lauren (18:05)
And a lot of times I come to work, the same girls that work in my office, I have, I have like a super bright colored tropical shirt, and they nicknamed that birds of paradise. So sometimes I’ll come to work and you know, I’ll have an outfit that gets nicknamed something and it’s just it’s just a fun expression of who you are. And so I don’t want to be locked into a capsule word.

Kathi (18:16)
Oh!

And I feel like those of us who struggle with clutter, so those are the people who are listening to this, we are creative. We are, you know, we love self-expression. And I think it’s easy for us to have too much in our wardrobe, but I also feel like having too little would be stifling to a lot of people. And I love a capsule wardrobe for a trip. Like I love being able to, you know, mix and match and do that kind of thing, but for everyday life.

Like you I want variety. Okay, if somebody is going through their own closet challenge What would be your advice to them? What do you wish you would have known on day one because now we’re almost at day 100 You’ve had a hundred days of wisdom. Tell us about

Lauren (19:13)
You know, I think there’s a feeling when you put on an outfit and you feel really confident, you love what you’re wearing. I think you go about your day differently. I think you interact with people differently. You feel different about yourself, whether you go to an office, whether you’re working from home. There’s just something that is uplifting when you’re wearing an outfit that you really love. And so I would challenge anybody.

that you can have a closet where every single thing you pick is something that you love wearing and feel confident in and Life is too short to wear that shirt where you’re pulling at it and tucking it and it just doesn’t quite fit the right and It’s too tight on the sleeves that just uncomfortable feeling where you’re like for whatever reason the color the fit the style I just don’t love what I’m wearing Just get rid of it. You will be so much happier with a closet where you love every single piece

Kathi (20:05)
It is so true. You just talked about Madewell and I bought a Madewell shirt and I couldn’t realize, I didn’t know why I was avoiding wearing it. It’s cute. It’s one of my favorite colors and so I wore it this weekend. I’m like, oh, I remember why I don’t like this shirt. It’s a belly shirt. Shirts are so short these days and I’m like, yeah, that’s…

That’s not for me. And now it’s actually going into the giveaway pile, into the, I don’t know why I put it away. Did I magically think it was gonna get longer? I don’t know. But I want to be able to approach my closet and be confident, even if half of it is in the laundry, that there’s gonna be something there that I’m gonna feel confident and love wearing. And what I love, and I was talking to our paid group today this morning.

I don’t know that you’ve ever used this word, but what I love about your approach is I feel like you come to your closet with curiosity. You are trying things on and saying, does this work for me? And then you might go switch out a pair of pants. I’ve seen you do that a couple of times. You’re trying things on and you’re trying them in different things to say, is this going to work? And I’ve seen you come home and say, yeah, nope.

That’s the last time I’m wearing this. And it’s gonna be great for somebody, it’s just not great for you, and I love that. Lauren, we’re gonna put your link to your TikTok, so other people can follow along on your journey as they are cleaning out their closets as well and curating what’s best. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today.

Lauren (21:53)
Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I love your podcast. I love how much you inspire other people to declutter different aspects of their lives, which is such a broad topic, but decluttering can benefit everyone.

Kathi (22:08)
Yes, well, and I will always hold dear that this was your first podcast interview. And by the way, you slayed. So you did such a great job. And friends, you’re the most important part of this little threesome here. We’re so glad you’re here. You’ve been listening to Clutterfree Academy. I’m Cathy Lip. Now go create the clutter free life you always wanted to live.

Lauren (22:17)
Thank you.

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Shun the shamers in your head and learn how to break free of their nitpicky demands!

Join Kathi and bestselling author Myquillyn Smith, also known as “The Nester,” as they continue their discussion about Myquillyn’s new book, “House Rules: How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget.” They’ll delve into:

  • Why you don’t have to fill every empty space
  • Using the concepts of “house hushing” and “one sane space” to quiet your quarters
  • Getting past perfectionism to love your space your way

As Kathi says in today’s episode, “if you love your house enough, it doesn’t matter what other people think.” Tune in now to learn how to make this your motto!

Order a copy of Myquillyn Smith’s newest book House Rules here

Sign up here to be notified when the next episode is released.

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The Clutter-Free Home: Making Room for Your Life

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Order your copy here!

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Myquillyn Smith’s website TheNester.com.

Myquillyn Smith on Instagram @thenester

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Take Myquillyn’s decorating quiz here

Where is your “one sane space?” Share your answer in the comments.

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
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Meet Our Guest 

Myquillyn Smith

MYQUILLYN SMITH, also known as “The Nester,” is the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Welcome Home and Cozy Minimalist Home. For the past 17 years, she’s been encouraging women to embrace their space—imperfections and all—and make it their own. Her previous homes have been featured in Better Homes & Gardens, Ladies’ Home Journal, and Cottages & Bungalows. She recently purchased and redecorated a1905 Queen Anne Victorian home in Morganton, North Carolina, the inspiration for her new book House Rules. She’s never met a home she didn’t love.

Find her online at TheNester.com and on Instagram @thenester.

Transcript

Kathi (00:00.174)

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter-Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And guys, I just, yeah, if you heard last week, you know I’m gushing, I’m not gonna gush all this time, but it’s Myquillyn Smith. The book is House Rules. You guys, she is my favorite decorating guru.

And I know you shouldn’t have gurus. You shouldn’t because you gotta create your own style. But she has helped me figure out who I am and how to live in my house. And I want her to do the same for you. Plus, you guys, she gets people who maybe wanna keep too many things in their house. She is not, she’s not judgmental. She understands our people. Myquillyn welcome back to the podcast.

Myquillyn (00:57.51)

I’m so glad to be here. You are my people. I love it.

Kathi (01:01.722)

Yes, yes, we need to we have to have a lot of crossover in our communities. I’m 100% And guys if you haven’t listened to last week go back and listen to that that’ll give you a lot of context for this week But I uh, I may love this book as much as I loved your first book Again, it’s House Rules: How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget And the reason that I love your book so much is because well

This is called House Rules. You don’t have a lot of rules or you teach us how to break the rules that maybe, I don’t know if other people feel like this, that I’ve had some very judgmental voices, house decorating voices in my head from the past and maybe kind of kept myself a little trapped. Have you ever worked with anybody like that?

Myquillyn (01:55.125)

Yeah, I mean, I have myself, I have experienced that as well, thinking I am going to get shamed or I’m gonna get told off or someone comes in my house and says, we need to get those drapes hemmed and when are we going to do this, that and the other to finish the house? That’s the kind of, yeah, I’ve experienced that myself and had to pull up my big girl pants and say, this is it, this is what I’m choosing to do so that I can

Kathi (01:57.62)

Okay.

Myquillyn (02:24.897)

have the rest of my life be full and look the way I want it to look.

Kathi (02:29.822)

You know, I remember when we sold our last house, it was, I loved it, I loved it so much. But the one thing my husband and I just said, okay, you know what, it’s just not as important to us as it is to other people. And you guys are gonna, everybody’s gonna scream when they hear this. We had popcorn ceilings. And in California, they’re very expensive to get rid of. And it’s like

we had to make choices and people would come in and say, and what are we gonna do about those popcorn ceilings? I’m like, if that’s the first thing you notice in my beautiful home, then, you know, my decorating style is not for you. It just isn’t. And so I think it’s so interesting what some people fixate on when they’re in other people’s homes. And we think, oh, nobody’s gonna notice. And it’s just weird that some people do, isn’t it? That what…

What are we going to do about those drapes on the floor? I mean, we’re going to enjoy them and love them and see that they pool beautifully. Ha ha.

Myquillyn (03:34.362)

Feel free to do something with your own money and your time.

Kathi (03:40.198)

Yes, you have volunteered. Well, okay. So I think that if you love your house enough, it doesn’t matter what other people think. It really, really doesn’t. But you have to love it. You have to say, this is what I’m doing to make my house as loving and lovely as possible. I want to dig into your rules here, because we’ve already done seven and five, you can’t ruin something you already hate and resourcefulness is the ultimate resource. But let’s talk about

Okay, this is for my cluttery girls. Rule 11, luxury isn’t having more, it’s needing less. Talk to, okay, I’m not gonna say a word, just talk to us.

Myquillyn (04:21.693)

Okay, I was reluctant to learn this because all of my life I feel like luxury is having everything at your fingertips, no matter what you could possibly need. That is the very definition of luxury. So we moved into this house and it’s a 1905 Queen Anne Victorian. And I’m pointing out the master bedroom is like the largest master bedroom we’ve ever had. We’ve never had a big bedroom.

And when we moved here, we had a bed and like my nightstands were like this big because our last house, the room was this big. So they’re like, pip squeak. I mean, we had nothing. So our bed was in there. I purchased a little sofa from the previous owner. So I had a little sofa at the end of the bed. I ended up buying a pair of nightstands and I had a couple lamps. I put up drapes. There were shutters on the window.

And one day I walked up to the room, I had painted it a little darker, beautiful muddy blue, one of my personal neutrals. And I walked up to the room and it just felt just right. I couldn’t believe it because there was no gallery wall. There was no like 300 beautiful pillows. There wasn’t three layers of rugs. There wasn’t like layers of throws. It was like so simple. There was no vignette on both of the.

Like I nothing it was so quiet and I felt like rich I felt like I was staying in a high end hotel. It was like the lack of chaos and excess was luxurious. And I have heard that my whole life. But to experience it. I was like, Oh, I get that now I get like the almost the privilege of not having to fill up my space with all of this.

Kathi (05:48.612)

Oh.

Kathi (06:06.135)

Yeah.

Kathi (06:10.752)

Mmm.

Myquillyn (06:11.677)

just in case stuff was extremely peaceful and serene and welcoming and I love beautiful things I still have you know stuff in my home but that is one space in my house that I probably will continue to keep really sparse and it feels great.

Kathi (06:21.421)

Yes.

Kathi (06:32.234)

Okay, well, the conviction is here. I have, our bedroom is big. It’s the biggest bedroom we’ve ever owned. And I love our bed. I’ve got a Suzani print couch that is just, it’s everything I love. And then I have the gray chair. And the gray chair collects all the things and has no business being in there. But I had room.

And my cluttery brain says, but you have room for it. But it brings me no joy. Why do I still have it? Why did I need you to come on a podcast for me to say, okay, it’s time to get rid of it?

Myquillyn (07:11.349)

Because our default is that empty space is like incorrect and needs to be filled. Empty space is waiting to be, it’s unfinished, which is not true. We need margin in our lives, in our decor, in our schedule, in so many things, but like I’ve learned to, sometimes I can’t get it through my brain. Like actually I would enjoy having less in my family room. So I do a little practice, I call it house hushing, where I just tell myself, you know what?

Kathi (07:37.944)

Yes.

Myquillyn (07:39.605)

we’re gonna give it 24 hours. I’m gonna just take all my little cute tchotchkes and smalls and my clocks and my pillows and my plants. And I’m gonna take everything extraneous out, just have the furniture, and I just put it in another room like crazy in the dining room on the table for 24 hours. And it’s like zen and relaxing and without fail every time I choose out of my own free will.

Kathi (07:44.857)

Mm-hmm.

Myquillyn (08:04.981)

to not bring as much in. No one has to, I don’t have to like pick up everything and ask if I love it or if it brings me joy. I don’t have to like clear and make decision fatigue. I just experience the results first of like a quieted simple space. And then I can choose if I want to get rid of something. It’s like, to me, it’s backwards decluttering and it works.

Kathi (08:10.944)

Right?

Kathi (08:25.59)

Yes. It’s the creep. It’s the creep of life. Like, I love this little thing. I’m going to put it here. I love this little thing. I love this little thing, but I don’t love the 72 little things that end up in my kitchen in six months if I don’t do something about it. And I’m not talking about, you know, the bread tie. I’m talking about the little planter or, you know, the little thing that my friend gave me.

Myquillyn (08:41.761)

Yes.

Myquillyn (08:49.975)

Yes.

Kathi (08:53.214)

And it’s okay to enjoy things for a season and then release them. And I’ve also learned it’s okay to just have that thing that my friend gave me out in the fall. It’s not a fall decoration and I love it, but it doesn’t need to be out 365 days a year because I enjoy a quieter space. I really do. I love that. And if you live near me,

Myquillyn (08:57.762)

Yes.

Myquillyn (09:18.133)

Yep.

Kathi (09:22.23)

Check Freecycle for this really beautiful but unnecessary gray chair that needs to that needs to go Okay Again for my clutter free people you are in our brains friend rule a one sane space Talk about that

Myquillyn (09:40.693)

That came about when we were living in a fixer upper and every room was in chaos. We didn’t have a sink in the kitchen. We had like plastic sheets as walls, you know, a weird electrical thing. You could get electrocuted if you weren’t careful. And I just remember thinking, okay we got to have, we have to feel like a little bit normal. We can’t have every room be in chaos. So even with the plastic walls, I just got some paint and I painted over because it was like

Hunter green walls with the wallpaper. I pulled down the border real quick. Didn’t prep it perfectly, just thought, I gotta get something up and we’ll do it better in a few months. Threw a white paint on the wall, put a rug down, got our sectional in there, a couple pillows, a lamp, the television, the dog bed, like we can watch Andy Griffith, we can watch Survivor at night. A place for our family to feel relaxed and like.

sanity in the midst of living in a complete fixer upper. And even if you’re not in a fixer upper, if you’re, the relief of having one space that feels however you need it to feel, maybe it’s more minimal, maybe it’s more cozy at this stage in your life, while you do things in your other rooms is really powerful.

Kathi (10:57.986)

Not 20 minutes before we started these interviews, I was on a call with a nurse talking through her clutter situation. And she’s sneezing through the whole thing and is just sick and run down. And she goes, but I need to declutter, I need to declutter. And like, you cannot make any decisions right now. What I want you to do is just, where do you spend most of your time when you’re

as you’re recovering, she goes, in my living room. I said, I just need you to have a clear spot where your eye line isn’t seeing any clutter. And we can deal with this when you have more energy to make decisions and to do what you need to do, but you have to have a place to rest. And if your eyes are distracted by things, all these hanging chads, all these things that still need to be done.

You can never rest. Your brain is always flipping on, oh, it’s the hunter green paint. Oh, the dog’s bed isn’t in here because I don’t wanna get stuff on. You just have to have one place that you can open your eyes and rest. And this is, I love the name of it, One Sane Space. I’ve never thought of it. I always say you just have to have one place where you can escape, but Sane Space says,

No, I can rest and recover in this area. I love that so, so much. Okay, we’re going deeper into the rules, my friend. Number 98, make your own house rules. So explain this, and I wanna hear a few of yours, and I’ve got a couple of my own as well, because I have done this, but explain this concept.

Myquillyn (12:49.761)

Well, I give a book of 100 house rules and that’s one of them. I think that we should all come up with our own rules to live by. You know, about 10 years ago on Pinterest, it was a big thing. Everyone was making their own wooden sign with like house rules, you know, dogs on the sofa and whatever, no, whatever. It was like all fun things. I love that. Like that’s one of the reasons that I liked this name for the book because I think culturally it conjures up that memory of like the fun.

Kathi (12:53.292)

Right?

Kathi (13:04.212)

Yes.

Myquillyn (13:18.541)

house rules, the relaxed house rules. But one of my personal decorating house rules is that I like my life full of color, but I like my house full of neutrals. I am persnickety and I change my mind. In the spring, if I am furniture shopping, I will buy teal furniture and blue furniture. And in the summer, I want red and pink furniture. And in the fall, I want rusty colors and muddy. And in the winter, I want white. Like I have learned, I can tell when I buy a piece of furniture,

that’s a color based on this, because it was like the season, whatever season was, the color I’m craving. I cannot do that, because I can’t buy a new sofa every four months. So, I learned I am way too like finicky and wanting to change my colors. So I will get all of my base things neutral. And then if I want colored sheets, if I want colored pillows, if I want a colored sweater, I’ll put up books with colors and flowers with colors.

Kathi (13:51.788)

Oh, yeah.

Kathi (13:57.856)

Right.

Kathi (14:10.798)

Hmm

Myquillyn (14:15.585)

but I’m not gonna buy my main pieces in color because I wanna change my mind, I wanna change it up too much. That is not a rule for everyone. Someone else might have the opposite rule and they should. So that’s my example, what is yours?

Kathi (14:24.77)

Right.

Kathi (14:30.946)

So I’ve got a practical one and I have a fun one. So in our house, flooring needs to be functional, not fabulous. And I just needed to do it because, I mean, we live where there is a high chance that chicken poop will get in our house at one point or another. We’re just not precious about stuff. And we need stuff that is functional. And we can put the pretty stuff

at waist level or above. But yeah, the floors just have, and I would never have chosen the floors that we have downstairs, but they’re exactly the right floors. The previous owners knew what they were doing when if we needed to, we could take a hose to them. We don’t do that, but we could if we needed to. And then the other thing is, my style is things we love.

And that’s just, there is nothing in my house that I don’t love. I used to have things in my house that other people loved. Like we had, I bought a pillow one time for Christmas and in red letters it says Joy. And I was so sad to put it away after Christmas. I’m like, is Joy just reserved for December? And so now I have this Joy pillow out all year long.

And it makes me so happy all year long. And it’s like, we only have things in our house that we love. And if there’s something in our house that we don’t love, we have to question, you know, I don’t love our emergency kit. We have it in our house, but it’s not something I’m displaying. And so that’s our style is things we love. And it’s never going to fit into any genre, but I…

I wake up every day and I’m happy. So

Myquillyn (16:31.021)

That is perfect. The whole goal is for you to love your home. You have arrived. Like when we love our home, we use our home. So do not change any of that.

Kathi (16:34.71)

Yeah.

Kathi (16:39.34)

Yes.

Yeah, and I’m reluctant to leave, because the world is not suited for me in any way, shape, or form, but my house is. Okay, this one. You’re a genius, this is all I’m gonna say. Rule number 99, make a we did it list. This is genius, please expand upon what this concept is.

Myquillyn (16:50.605)

and I’ll see you next time.

Myquillyn (17:06.989)

Gosh, I think when it comes to home, we are so focused on all the stuff we have to do and all the undone decisions and all the ceiling fan that needs to be replaced and we haven’t gotten to the back porch yet and the flooring in there. If we can take a moment and take stock of all the things we have done, I do this at least every year and look back like everything in our house, we do it with our goals too, like what we did with our family, but.

Kathi (17:16.91)

Hehehehe

Myquillyn (17:34.561)

You and everything counts. If we made a chicken coop, if we replaced the faucet, if I’m like, and I dusted behind the sofa, write that down, you know, change the light fixture, whatever, it all counts. I think we would be shocked at what we accomplish in a year, in a month in our home. We need to give ourselves credit for all that we’ve done in caring for our home.

Kathi (17:59.246)

And do not discount making a chicken coop because let’s be clear the one we got was advertised as like a Michaels do-it-yourself project and it turned out to be a Home Depot expert pro project It I mean it is it is a fabulous chicken coop, but holy cow. Yes I think it’s we have such I do this with decorating I do this with God, but what have you done lately? What have you done lately like?

Myquillyn (18:12.301)

It’s true.

Kathi (18:28.074)

You know, yes, I have worked so hard on my house. I forget what it was like to move out of the upstairs of our house to put flooring down. You might as well burn the house down and start over again. It is so much work, but it’s done. And it’s done for the next hopefully 20 years. But it’s so easy to focus on, yeah, but the kitchen light fixture. Like I haven’t done the kitchen light fixture.

Myquillyn (18:43.894)

I’m dead.

Kathi (18:56.858)

And I love that you’re taking stock. And this is so true in our cluttery communities. We always talk about, we declutter and then it just gets to look like that again. But here’s the thing, once you get the stuff out of your house, you never ever have to deal with that book or piece of furniture or piece of clothing ever again for the rest of your life. You may have to deal on what you’re bringing into the house but look at what you’ve done.

And we’re so proud when our kids do something, we need to also recognize ourselves for the accomplishments we’re doing. Because let’s be honest, some of these projects are hard and they take big grownup decision making that is sometimes, and you’ve saved money to do things. And if you’ve brought in outside help, that doesn’t always go the way, and you have to negotiate with the people you live with. And so anytime you accomplish something, it is…

It is a win. And guys, if you are ready to, especially if you’ve done some decluttering, I really think one of the best things you can do for yourself, and I know I learned this term from you, after you’ve quieted your house, you can take a look around and say, is there something that I want to do? Because now that my house isn’t screaming clutter at me, it can reveal its personality. It can reveal who it is.

And guys, I’m just gonna really encourage you. Take a look at this book, House Rules, How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget. Myquillyn this is, I get so inspired when I spend time with you. Thank you so much for your time and your wisdom today.

Myquillyn (20:37.341)

Oh, Kathi, you are so dear. You could, you know all of this. You don’t even need me. Like you are beyond. So I just, so happy to know you and man, you are so wise.

Kathi (20:49.758)

Okay, even if that was true, here’s what you do. You help me be brave. You help me not get, I think so many of us who deal with clutter are such, we’re perfectionists in such hard ways. We don’t do anything until we know we can do it 100%. And you’ve given me permission to say, even if I think I can do it, I should try. I’m probably not gonna burn the house down. I probably am not going to have to repaint the whole room. And…

You know, maybe some $20 decisions are okay to take a flyer on. So I know a lot of what you teach, but you helped me be brave to enact it. And that’s what I want for everybody in my community. So thank you. Thank you, friend.

Myquillyn (21:36.749)

Oh, happy to be here. Thank you.

Kathi (21:39.69)

And friends, thank you for being here. You are the best part of us gathering each week. You’ve been listening to Clutter Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

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