by kathilipp | Oct 23, 2012 | Me |
I’ve packed and repacked my same black suitcase about five times. Usually, packing is a snap for me (I go on about fifty trips a year, so if I don’t want to dedicate a large portion of my free time to packing. a girl learns to keep it simple.)
I would like to take an outfit for each day, and a backup after I see what everyone else is wearing, just to make sure I fit in.
I have (so far) resisted an “emergency” trip to Macy’s hoping to find the right outfit to make sure I fit in.
But as you may suspect, this goes a little deeper than wardrobe issues.
Tomorrow I board a plane to go to “The Hip Conference”. Really cool, deep, spiritual girls are getting together to teach each other – and learn from each other – how to talk about Jesus better. And normally, I would be really excited. Except I’m “The New Girl”.
I’ve never been to this conference, and I’ve let my brain run amok.
In my mind:
- These women all know each other and are best friends waiting for their once a year reunion
- It will be like a scene from “Mean Girls” and no one will sit with me at lunch
- They will mock me behind my back for my pathetic attempts to fit in
Obviously, I’ve watched too many commercials for Gossip Girl.
And this doesn’t just happen for conferences. No – I feel it all the time.
- At a new Bible Study
- Visiting a new church
- Going to a new hair dresser
- When my kids went to a new school
- Hanging out with my husband’s co-workers
People assume since I’m an extrovert that I LOVE diving into situations like this. No. Not at all. All the weirdness and fear pop up and I feel like the kid sister my older sister was forced to take to the movies with all of her cool friends.
I don’t write this to have you encourage me (I know, I know, they will love me once they get to know me. but thanks!) but to say if a super-extrovert like me feels this, I’m guessing that about 90% of you have some of the same feelings. So I wanted to share my plan of attack. I mean my godly plan for managing my anxiety.
Step 1 – Pray for the Event: When I take my eyes off myself and think about what the event is trying to accomplish – and then praying to that end – it gives me the perspective I need. I’m just one person, hoping to be useful, and to follow what God is telling me to do. I’m now praying for the event organizers (cause you know they might just be losing their minds right about now…) praying for the safety of those who are traveling, and praying I can get what God wants me to get out of the experience.
Step 2 – Realize I’m Not the Only New Girl: There are going to be loads of people there who are newbies. We will be the ones who look like racoons staring at an oncoming Mack Truck. I will find these people and make them my friends.
Step 3 – “My Name Is… Here to Serve” No, I’m not officially on the committee, but every single one of these conferences, God has put someone in my path that needed to be loved, encouraged, or just needed some well-timed milk chocolate. If I focus on the needs of others, God always gets around to what I need out of the conference. I’ve never left feeling “I wish I hadn’t helped that person so much. I missed ______” Nope, God’s told me to “feed His sheep”. That’s my job. He takes care of the schedule nitty-gritty.
Step 4 – Bring Things to Give Away No, not advertising for my new book. Things people want. Like that well-timed chocolate.
So tell me your coping mechanism for being the new girl. Spiritual. Practical. I want to hear it – and I want you to share it with all the other new girls.
(BTW – the word on the street is all these ladies are lovely and I’m going to have a great time. I’ll report back…)
by kathilipp | Oct 14, 2012 | Christmas, frontpage, Me, Uncategorized |
Thanks for visiting me here. If you are an imperfect mom like me, you have found a home. (Or at least a place to have a lukewarm cup of coffee.)
For those of us who know it’s better to do things as a tribe than alone (cause what’s the fun in that?) Check out my Facebook Page and download the free ebook: Six Chicks Freeze and Fix – How to Start a Freezer Meal Co-op (look at the “Tabs” at the top of the page.)
And wait – there’s more!
Sign up for my monthly newsletter (filled with great tips about keeping your life in order!) and you will receive my free ebook THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MAN FOOD filled with great recipes to keep that man in your life extra happy.
Oh, and next week we are going to work on some Shame-Free Organizing of our lives – sign up for the blog (under the 15 Minutes to a More Organized Life sign in here on the blog.)
Thanks for being a part of my ministry – here on the blog, on Facebook, and through MOPS. You are each so precious to me. I just want to squeeze your cheeks.
by kathilipp | Sep 30, 2012 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Uncategorized |
I know – it’s the worst thing a mom can admit (well that and admitting that sitting through hours of sporting events really isn’t that fun…) but there have been times in my parenting that I didn’t feel close to one of my kids.
Justen is a bright, smart, funny kid who loves history and can remember license plate numbers from over a dozen years ago. I could not love him any more if I tried.
But when it comes to natural compatibility, we are opposites – and not in a fun way. He has a much easier, more natural relationship with his dad, my ex-husband. They like to watch sports, enjoy the same kind of movies, and feel really comfortable being together.
Justen even really clicks with my husband, Roger, his stepdad.
Yep – nothing makes you feel like more of a doofus than realizing everyone has more in common with your kid than you do.
So I’ve had to spend the last few years working really hard at connecting with Justen – with mixed results – granted – but it’s so much better than it was a year ago.
Here’s what I did:
- I Paid Attention. When Justen mentions something on Facebook and I have no idea what it is, I Google it so that I have a peek into his world. I also try to pass along things that I think will make him laugh. Recently I saw this posted on a friend’s wall and shared it with him and the rest of the Trekkies in the family. I may not watch the show, but I’m learning some of the inside jokes. (If you are not a Trekkie, have one explain this to you…)
- I Prayed. It’s hard for me to remember this one truth: the best thing I can do for my child, whether we are “clicking” or not is to pray for him. I pray for Justen (and all of our other kids) every single day. It has not always been this way, and I tend to kick myself for it. But I remember that great saying, “When is the best time to have planted an oak tree? Fifty years ago. When is the second best time to plant an oak tree? Today.”
- I Talked with Other Parents. Turns out, each and every mom I’ve spoken with will, when pressed, admit that one of their kids is easier to connect with than the others. And that is OK! It doesn’t mean that we love them any less, it just means we have to work a little harder for those connections.
If you’re looking for new and easy ways to connect with your kids, whatever their age, stage or personality, check out my new book 21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids co-written with author Cheri Gregory on sale for only $9.99.
And, while I am announcing new things… I’ve just opened up my new online store. Come on over and take a look, I think you will like it! To say “thank you” for dropping by, I’m offering free shipping on all orders $15 or more.I’ll even sign it for you if you’d like. Come on over to my online store today. (Sale and free shipping on through Friday.)
by kathilipp | Sep 25, 2012 | Uncategorized |
How to be Married to a Super Awesome (!!!) Expressive Like Me
by Kathi Lipp
(Check out our guide to finding out your personality type !)
When figuring out which of the four personality types (analytic, driver, amiable, expressive) you are, most of the time you will be a combination of two or three. You can’t pigeon hole people. But pigeon – here is your hole: I am almost 100% Expressive.
And while I’m fun to have a parties, I can be somewhat of a challenge to live with.
I am the person who (after watching one half episode of something on HGTV) will take off and go buy all the paint to redecorate our bedroom, start the project, but then grow tired of it (butterfly!) and leave our room half painted for six months.
I’m all about people, not facts. So I’ll throw you an extravagant party to cheer you up after you break up with your boyfriend, without really checking to make sure we have the money in our account to buy so much at the party store.
Since being married to Roger (a self-admitted analytic), I’ve brought a huge dose of fun and excitement into his life. But there are some days when I know that he longs for the days of yore: sitting in his blue Lazy Boy chair and watching something with the word “Star” in it: Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica.
If You’re Married to an Expressive – Hints and Tips (by Kathi…)
Being Around Other People
I get pumped when I’m around other people that I find challenging, interesting and exciting. Roger, not so much. So we are fine if I go to an occasional event by myself. Let your expressive go out with friends. He will be the happier for it.
Doing vs. Chatting
Recently, I was at a business dinner and brought my computer so we could get some work done. (Trying to be on-task. Very against my nature…) The guy in our group was an Extreme Expressive. I never cracked the computer. He wanted to relate and our group was the better for it.
Starting
I love to start a project. I’m not so great at finishing. If you’re married to an Expressive, don’t kill the buzz, but help them manage it. Instead of agreeing to buying all 18 years of scrapbooks for your firstborn, encourage your Expressive to buy them one year at a time. (And she’ll probably lose interest in the first six weeks, anyway.)
Are you married to an Expressive? Are you an Expressive? Tell me what above fits your marriage, and how you’re different.
by kathilipp | Sep 16, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Roger and I were sitting around the dinner table with our next door neighbor, a recently retired teacher who has a fondness for cats and is happy to babysit our kitten while we travel. We, in exchange, make sure she has plants that are watered on a regular basis.
She is what we would call, “Low-tech”. Yes, she has a computer, but when it comes to things like Facebook, she has no need for them.
She was a little freaked out about understanding all the privacy settings and having people know where she is and what she is doing.
And I just thought to myself, “Oh you older people with your irrational paranoia… Yes, we have no privacy anymore, but that’s just the age we live in – it’s not like anyone is trying to find me…”
Not an hour later, I read this article about a disgruntled author tracking down an agent in MY HOME TOWN, at her kid’s school, and attacking her with a baseball bat.
You can be sure I’m going to double check my privacy settings – for sure.
This is not to freak anyone out, but to be a reminder to check those settings.
Tell me in the comments below how you stay safe online. We all need the reminder.
by kathilipp | Sep 11, 2012 | Relationships |
How to be Married to an Analytic
by Roger Lipp
(Check out our guide to finding out your personality type !)
For those of you who have met Kathi, it will not be much of a surprise when I tell you that she is an “expressive”.
Of the four personality types (analytic, driver, amiable, expressive) it is really obvious that she is an expressive. (You could pick that out without even diving into the details of what it really means to be an expressive. The name alone kinda gives her away…) And for those of you who have met me, you will with equal certainty be able to discern that I am not an expressive. Not even close. In fact, I am the complete and absolute opposite (remember, they do say that opposites attract). I am an analytic.
Let me digress with a word of caution: personality types are not etched in stone. Our entire personality and life journey cannot be reduced to a single word. Even though I am an analytic, I am able to express myself. And my wife is pretty good at math… especially when it comes to sales at Macy’s, but that’s a story for another time. So before I go any further, please promise me you won’t pigeon hole people… especially your spouse!
For those of you lucky enough to be married to an analytic, I have a few words of advice that may make the journey go a bit smoother.
First, take some time to understand some of the keys to their thinking. Unless you are also an analytic, your spouse probably thinks very differently than you do. In the world view of an analytic, facts and accuracy are more important than feelings and perceptions.
Kathi and I were sitting down at dinner to discuss this article. She made a statement about that she sees me more as an “amiable” than as an “analytic”. As soon as she said that my brain started objecting. I know the characteristics. I know the criteria. I’ve taken numerous tests, they 
have all pointed to the same conclusion. I am an analytic. And of course because I’m an analytic, I needed to set the record straight.
I interrupted Kathi (wisdom is obviously not high on my list of qualities) and let her know that she was mistaken: I am an analytic.
At this point, you can see that the stage is set. The players are all in place. The plot has been developed. We can all imagine what could happen next. Rebuke. Response. Retaliate. Repeat. We’ve all been there.
Fortunately, Kathi has learned a few things about my personality that helps keep this from spiraling out of control. She has learned that facts and accuracy are important to me. So she acknowledges the fact that I am in fact an analytic, and then goes on to explain why she sees me more as an “amiable”.(I try to keep the peace in family situations, I like to just “hang” with people – I don’t necessarily need to be getting things done while we’re hanging out. All traits of the “Amiable” personality – which I also have some of.)
Just that simple acknowledgement of the facts was enough to satisfy my internal need for accuracy. With that need satisfied I was able to engage in the rest of the conversation and learned that what she was really saying is: you’re a great guy and I love you. A point that I really appreciate letting sink in every now and then. Glad I didn’t miss it.
Roger
If You’re Married to an Analytic – Hints and Tips (by Kathi…)
Being Around Other People
Roger renews his energy by being alone or just hanging out with me or our kids. It take a lot of energy for him to be “on” for other people. I needed to learn that it was OK for me not to include him in everything. He’s fine with me going out to lunch with a friend on my own. In fact, many times he would prefer it.
When I travel, every once in a while I will stay with a friend that I know so we can catch up on life. This doesn’t work for Roger. He needs to have privacy and quiet. His ultimate nightmare? Spending the night in a stranger’s home. When we are traveling together, I need to let groups know that we need a hotel. It’s nothing personal – but I want to honor my husband.
Doing vs. Chatting
Roger wants to know what his “job” is at all times. When we have people over for dinner, I’m in charge of the chatting, Roger’s in charge of the BBQing, and that’s how we like it. Don’t get me wrong – if you come over to our house for dinner, Roger wants talk with you – he just wants to do it with some grilling tongs in his hands.
His Way or the Wrong Way
So there is the Roger Way doing things, and there is the wrong way of doing things. He’s not obnoxious about it, but he’s great at analyzing the cheaper, better, faster way of doing things, getting places, and buying stuff and in the long run, his analysis of the situation usually works to my benefit. (We find that sale on vacuum cleaners, or he finds us the best reviewed cafe in a town we’re visiting, or we get to our event six minutes faster than if I had been driving.) I make sure that when he has a strong opinion, I honor that to the best of my ability. (In other words, I pick which hills I want to die on…) He can and will change his mind, but it’s best if you have your facts lined up before you try to sway him.
Are you married to an Analytic? Are you an Analytic? Tell me what above fits your marriage, and how you’re different.
by kathilipp | Sep 9, 2012 | Me |
Tomorrow is Taking Care of You Tuesday
I have a wonderful friend who is great at taking care of everyone else. She is the hardest worker I’ve ever met. She has a full time job, a busy family and a growing ministry. She is a very busy girl.
She and I have been working hard to not only take care of those around us, but ourselves as well. She made a huge breakthrough when she sent me an email letting me know she had scheduled her “annual” appointment with her doctor – for the first time in five years.
Our stuff is so often on the bottom of our list.
So by Tuesday, I want you to put something at the top of your list. Here are some ideas of things you could do to take care of you:
- Make your annual appointment
- Make a hair appointment
- Exercise
- Call a friend (not out of obligation, but because it does your heart good)
- Get a prescription refilled
- Take a 20 minute nap
- Put a flower on your desk
- Prepack some healthy snacks
- Download some music you love to your iPod
- Schedule a dentist appointment
- Schedule an appointment with your trainer
- Go take a walk
Tell me what you are going to do but Tuesday at midnight, and I will enter you to win The Get Yourself Organized Project.
Your real reward will be taking care of yourself. Go on. It’s only 15 minutes (or so…)
by kathilipp | Sep 4, 2012 | Marriage, Relationships, The Husband Project |
One of the biggest key for the peace that Roger and I experience in our relationship is the understanding of our personality types. We understood from an early point in our marriage that opposites do indeed attract – but they can also drive each other crazy. For the next several week on Wednesdays, Roger and I will be sharing about how to be married well to each of the personalities.
But first, most of us fit into one personality more than they others. I am firmly in the Expressive camp, while Roger is Analytic. Knowing what camp you fall in (generally) and where your husband falls (generally) will help you understand how you feel loved and respected – and the same for your man.
So here are some general ways to determine what your personalities are. Once you have an idea of where you both land, tell me in the comments (ie, I’m a Driver and my husband is a Amiable…) I think that not only will this be informational, but also a whole lot of fun.
Expressive
- Natural salesmen or story-tellers
- Warm and enthusiastic
- Good motivators, communicators
- Can be competitive
- Can tend to exaggerate, leave out facts and details
- Sometimes would rather talk about things than do them
Driver
- Objective-focused
- Know what they want and how to get there
- Communicates quickly, gets to the point
- Sometimes tactless and brusque
- Can be an “ends justify the means” type of person
- Hardworking, high energy Does not shy away from conflict
Amiable
- Kind-hearted people who avoid conflict
- Can blend into any situation well
- Can appear wishy-washy
- Has difficulty with firm decisions
- Often loves art, music and poetry Highly sensitive
- Can be quiet and soft-spoken
Analytic
- Highly detail oriented people
- Can have a difficult time making decisions without ALL the facts
- Make great accountants and engineers
- Tend to be highly critical people
- Can tend to be pessimistic in nature
Go ahead- tell me where you both lan
d!
Join the upcoming Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study with Kathi Lipp, The Husband Project.
Find out all the details here. Sign up today because we start June 20, 2016!
by kathilipp | Aug 30, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Don’t underestimate the power of Fast Food at Home. And the humble grilled cheese can be a very satisfying meal with a cup of soup or a fresh little salad. The other advantage is that grilled cheese can be a DYI kinda meal – if one kid can’t stand tomatoes – no problem – just leave them off.
Grilled Tomato and Cheese Toasties
-
8
slices
Sourdough Bread
-
2
tsp
Softened Butter
-
8
tsp
Dijon Mustard
-
4
oz
Cheddar, Gruyere, Havarti, or cheese that melts well
-
8
slices
Fresh Tomatoes
-
Put a small skillet (with lid) over medium heat.
Butter one side of each slice of bread.
Smear mustard on the unbuttered side of the bread slices.
Arrange cheese slices over one mustard-covered slice of bread.
Top cheese with tomato slices.
Cover with the other slice of bread.
Place the sandwich in the skillet – heat until bread is golden brown and the cheese is melty.
Slice diagonally and serve.
In Addition to the the Grown Up Grilled Cheese- Here are some free goodies!
If you want the freezer instructions for this (and nineteen of my other favorite freezer recipes,) check out my Facebook Page and download the free ebook: Six Chicks Freeze and Fix – How to Start a Freezer Meal Co-op (look at the “Tabs” at the top of the page.)
And wait – there’s more!
Sign up for my monthly newsletter (filled with great tips about keeping your life in order!) and you will receive my free ebook THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MAN FOOD filled with great recipes to keep that man in your life extra happy.
by kathilipp | Aug 27, 2012 | Home, The "What's for dinner?" Project |
Thanks for visiting! We’re glad you’re here.
If you want the freezer instructions for my Chicken Cacciatori (and nineteen of my other favorite freezer recipes,) check out my Facebook Page and download the free ebook: Six Chicks Freeze and Fix – How to Start a Freezer Meal Co-op (look at the “Tabs” at the top of the page.)
And wait – there’s more!
Sign up for my monthly newsletter (filled with great tips about keeping your life in order!) and you will receive my free ebook THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MAN FOOD filled with great recipes to keep that man in your life extra happy.
You can listen live, or go to their broadcast page and get free recipes, as well as some bonus recordings of our conversation about making meal times meaningful.
If you would like to hear more conversations like the one on today’s Focus, would you let them know over at their Facebook Page. When broadcasters hear from you, it goes a long way.
Thanks for being a part of my ministry – here on the blog, on Facebook, and on radio. You are each so precious to me. I just want to squeeze your cheeks.
I’ve packed and repacked my same black suitcase about five times. Usually, packing is a snap for me (I go on about fifty trips a year, so if I don’t want to dedicate a large portion of my free time to packing. a girl learns to keep it simple.)
