by kathilipp | Sep 30, 2018 | Clutter Free |
One of the statements I consistently get at events (or even at church) is: “Wow. So, your house must be perfect all of the time …”
Um … no.
- If you saw my garage, you would know that, while I’m exponentially better than I was 10 years ago, I’m still a work in progress.
- I still live in my house. Therefore, there is clutter.
Yes — I am the anti-clutter queen. I will rail against clutter and the effects that it has on our hearts, minds and spirits until my dying day. But you see, in reality there are a couple of different kinds of clutter:
- The clutter of life.
- And the life-stopping clutter that shuts us down.
So how do you recognize the difference between the clutter of life and the life-stopping clutter that shuts us down?
1. The clutter of life has relationship baked into it.
For instance, the clutter of life is baking cookies for or with people you love. It’s the fairy tent that you built with your child and let them keep up for several days even though it is in the middle of the living room.
But the life-stopping clutter is the pile of unpaid bills in the middle of said living room that taunts you every time you walk by it. It accuses you of being a loser who doesn’t deserve nice things. Ever.
When you are creating clutter and building relationships at the same time, that is the kind of clutter that is temporary, fun and freeing. That is the kind of mess that needs to be encouraged.
2. The clutter of life is the mess we make when we don’t give up.
So much of the life-stopping clutter is when we have just given up on a situation — or worse — given up on ourselves.
The clutter that hurts us is not produced when we’ve tried and failed, but the times we’ve tried, failed and didn’t try again (and held onto the evidence for too long as a reminder).
So, you tried painting and it didn’t turn out. That happens.
Now, you have two choices:
- Try again.
- Or give away all the canvases,paints, easels and brushes to someone who would enjoy painting.
Any other decision (leaving it out, packing it away in the garage) means that it will become life-sucking and therefore, the bad kind of clutter.
3. The clutter of life is created in the present.
One of the things I hate about many clutter books is the sense that we need to live all-or-nothing lives. They teach that the ultimate goal for a clutter free home is to get it to the point where it looks like no one lives there.
To me, that defeats the whole purpose of creating a clutter free life: Freedom.
And freedom isn’t only doing what God has designed you to do in your life, in your ministry and in your family. It is also being at peace knowing that what you are doing is the right thing, even if it doesn’t fit your mental picture of “the right thing.”
Freedom really looks like being at peace when our lives, our parenting, and our homes don’t look like other people’s — not even those of our favorite people on HGTV.
My friend Jami tackles this concept head on in her new book, Sacred Ground, Sticky Floors. She embraces the idea that our parenting doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s to do our best job loving our children into adulthood. (Plus, she gives us the freedom to know that it’s not all up to us.) If you are looking for a funny and freeing read, grab this book.
Here is what I know when it comes to parenting and clutter: There is the clutter that drug me down for so many years, and the clutter that built my relationships with my kids.
Don’t get the two confused. One will limit your life. The other? Is life.
Comment below by sharing one way you can increase the good clutter in your life and you’ll be entered to win one of five copies of “Sacred Ground, Sticky Floors” or our grand prize of the book and the Shark Steam Pocket Mop Hard Floor Cleaner with Swivel Steering XL Water Tank.
by kathilipp | Sep 26, 2018 | Blog, Clutter Free |
Every day, the email shows up …
“Create the perfect pumpkin landscape!”
“When stripes and paisley collide …”
The headlines, the stand-up-and-take-notice headlines, greet me every single day.
I subscribed to these emails because I adore my friend who is sending them. She is crazy-gifted, super creative, and incredibly generous with her time and talent.
The whole package, really.
I love to open the emails and look at the projects she’s working on, the colors she’s chosen, and how she is growing her business.
Until one day, I didn’t want to open the email.
I felt a poke. Not a pang or twinge of envy. Just a poke of … something …
I knew it wasn’t jealousy. I don’t enjoy painting bookcases or haunting garage sales for the next perfect piece of milk glass. As the Clutter Free girl, I’m not into any of that. I didn’t covet her living room (we have very different decorating styles) or even her laundry room (which is adorable).
So what was it?
I realized that I did envy her.
I wasn’t jealous of her stuff, but I envied her life.
Why does she get to be the make- it-cute girl, while I’ve struggled with clutter my whole life?
Why does she get to have a house that is inviting and adorable, while for decades, I was the one that you needed to give a week’s notice before coming over for a cup of coffee?
And for a while? I stopped opening the emails. They made me feel less than who I was.
And then I figured out, it wasn’t the emails making me feel that way. It was me.
It was me rejecting this path that God had sent me on. The path of recovering from clutter, which taught me so much about myself, about who God is and about how to serve his people.
If you asked me if I would trade in my journey, I would tell you, “No! Not in a million years!”
But if you compared it to someone else’s journey, I start to think, “Well, maybe I could just try it on for a while …”
I was jealous of what it must feel like to have a house that people walk into and just fall in love with.
So, what did I do?
I bought a new throw pillow.
I bought a decorating book.
I bought a few decorating magazines.
(Oh, don’t you hate when old habits that you thought were dead spring back to life?)
Nothing earth-shattering. It wasn’t exactly a binge.
But it was a blip … A definite indication of something being off in my life.
Buying stuff out of discomfort is familiar territory. So now, when the pangs (or pokes) pop up, I have a plan to get me back to a place of peace and joy.
Here are the steps that get me back to where I need to be:
Identify the feelings for what they are.
Understanding that I’m feeling envy used to send me into a spiral of shame (and I would envy women who didn’t have these feelings). Now, I recognize that feeling for what it is: a dissatisfaction in my own life.
When I realize it’s not about the object of my envy, but about what is going on for me, I instantly shut down anything that comes between me and that person. It is not about our relationship, it’s about how I’m relating to the world around me.
Feast on some truth.
When I get to that place where my heart is bruised, it’s time to get some truth in front of me. My favorite verse when it comes to envy (one that I can quote you on the spot – that’s how much I need it) is 1 Corinthians 10:13:
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
Lately, I’m also loving Seeing Green: Don’t Let Envy Color Your Joy by Tilly Dillehay. She says the way the way to the jealousy-free life is not by suppressing envy, but by embracing love. Not by shaming ourselves, but by loving others.
Practice being happy that someone else has what you want.
In Seeing Green, Dillehay talks about our reactions to other people’s blessings. She asks, “What if your first response was joy?” I love that question.
In the book, she talks about how to change the direction of our first impulse, response, and reaction toward joy for others. This is where I strive to be: genuine joy for others before calibrating the event to my hopes and dreams.
And if we wrestle to love deeply even when our initial reaction is to feel our feels, what we will see is that our reactions, for ourselves and for others, moves to a place of joy.
A place our hearts long to dwell, no matter where our circumstances may take us.
Enter to Win
Enter to win a copy of the book Seeing Green by Tilly Dillehay
PLUS
this fun gift box filled with green goodies!
Simply leave a comment below. One winner will be randomly selected and notified by email.
by kathilipp | Sep 21, 2018 | Clutter Free |
Want Inner Peace? Get Rid of Clutter One Step At a Time!
Melody stumbled onto the Clutter Free Academy Facebook Group after she sought online groups to support her in dealing with decluttering. In late 2017, she moved her father into assisted living; anything that didn’t fit in his new home just got stacked up in the front room of her house, adjacent to the front door. The clutter caused tension with her husband. She explains, “He kept bugging me about getting it cleaned up because he was tired of having to explain the clutter whenever someone came to our house.”
Melody says, “At the beginning, I felt overwhelmed. I wasn’t sure where to begin. But, I just took one box or section at a time and worked in 45-minute to one-hour intervals, taking a break in-between. I kept telling myself that even baby steps are progress. I also took pictures along the way to remind myself of the progress I was making.”
Melody’s teaching job keeps her busy, so she decided to tackle the clutter come summer. She set aside two days to work on decluttering this area. She used Kathi’s system of 3 bags, with a slight modification. Instead of Put Away, Other Room, and Give Away bags, she had 3 piles: Other Rooms, Give Away, and Sell. Plus the Trash/Recycle pile.
She’s proud to be able to say, “The result of two days of work was that I felt very proud of myself for tackling this room; a load has been lifted from me. I was also very happy to hear my husband tell me what a great job I’d done.”
Working on this room has given her a renewed sense of optimism about what’s possible. “By decluttering this one room, I learned that I can get other areas and rooms of my house decluttered as well. I know it’s a process which will take time. But in the end, I will gain things like inner peace and being able to bless others because I will be living with less clutter.” Melody experienced the peace that comes from living with less, not more stuff!
How can you live with less for the sake of more peace? What are you no longer using that you could share with someone in need?
by kathilipp | Sep 20, 2018 | Clutter Free, Organizing |
When You Don’t Know Where to Start: Handling a Whole House Clutter Makeover Like a Pro
Tackling the whole house at once? Oh that can feel so overwhelming. Whether it’s a move you are excited for or one that is out of necessity, you don’t want to move the clutter with you. Today we talk about how to strategically get rid of what you don’t need to box up and move. If you aren’t moving but you have just had it with the clutter messing up every room? Well this one is for you too.
You don’t have to feel held hostage by your clutter one more day and you definitely don’t have to move it to your new place.
Enter to win a copy of Carol and Krista’s book!
