
On today’s show, Kathy sits down with Carol Kuykendall and Krista Gilbert to talk about their book, “Give Them Wings.” Carol and Krista share insights about how to clear the emotional clutter out of the letting go process.
Kathy, Carol and Krista also share an in-depth conversation about how to navigate parenting in the digital age and how to equip our children for success during the “letting go years.”
Enter to Win!
Enter to win a copy of Carol and Krista’s book!
Two lucky winners will win a copy of Give Them Wings.
Enter by answering in the comments, “what has been (or what do you anticipate will be) the hardest part of your kids moving on?”
*US residents only
Buy the book here.
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Meet Our Guest

Carol Kuykendall
Carol Kuykendall has authored and coauthored nine books about families and mothering. She worked for 12 years at MOPS International, writing and speaking, and continues to write for Guideposts and Daily Guideposts. She lives in Boulder with her husband Lynn. Learn more www.carolkuykendall.com
I have a 22 years old daughter that graduated from college this past May and I have a junior in college. The hardest part was the transition time after they move out that for me last like a month. It was really hard to stay home on my days off on a quiet house and have nobody to talk to or nobody to go shopping with , Now I am really enjoying this me time.
The hardest part for me was allowing them to make their own decisions when I could see they were poor ones… To sit back and support them in love and prayer, being ready to welcome them back/help (not facilitate bad things, though) / support as needed. It has taken many years, but has been worth it. The Lord is indeed faithful.
I have a 22 year old daughter that graduated from college this past May and a junior in college. The hardest part was the transition time after they move out that for me last like a month, it was really hard to stay home on my days off on a really quiet house and have nobody to go shopping with or just talk to but once the transition time was over I felt really good and now I am enjoying this me time.
(I never feel like I have a short answer for anything.) There is a 5-year age difference between each of my 3 kids (now ages 28, 23, and 17). My oldest (daughter), at age 18-19 we basically had to kick her out (failing college, breaking curfew, no job, not helping around the house, etc.) I mostly felt relief b/c so much tension was gone. She needed to leave before we reach a bad place in our relationship. My middle (son), at age 18, October of his senior year of high school, told me on a Thursday morning at 6:40 that he was moving out that day. I really didn’t believe him or think much of it, and went on to work; he was moved out by 9:00 (to my in-law’s next door temporarily, but still). I was not tired of him living in my house. I was useless for three days. Not really for him being on his own, but b/c it was so sudden and unexpected. My youngest (son) is 17 and a senior in high school. He has plans to move out, but tells me he will come eat supper every night. I’m not sure how I feel about this, or how I will feel about it when the time comes for him to leave. For me it has been a different (not always bad) experience for every stage of each child’s life; constant shifting gears and re-adapting. I am trying to prepare for life with just the hubby.
I enjoy watching my kids grow into each new stage. The newest stage has been in relationships. It’s so difficult to watch them navigate relationships with others and the heartache that can accompany those deep feelings.
A friend of mine just recently put together a “MOPS” panel for those of us preparing to launch our now teenagers. We continue to love how those experienced moms pour into our lives.
Thanks for this episode!
My son (elder of two children) left home for a live-in job 30 minutes’ drive away nearly 3 years ago, came back briefly, them moved to another town, and my daughter (child #2) is off to university (translation: college) early next year. I think the hardest part is missing them as people who get your jokes and references to things that you have in common. I also worry about how they’re going to manage money and their eating choices.
But yes – the left behind items! Still working our way through this one. However, I’m a believer in having a small stash of (good!) household items for when they’re living away from home (e.g. sharing rental accommodation with friends – called “flatting” in NZ, UK and Australia; not sure if this is a thing in the US). For example, I kept a spare coffee plunger and a table for my son, and I’ve already earmarked a clothes-drying rack for my daughter.
I absolutely love and am embracing this season of my life as a mom, and I also just really enjoy my kids and watching them grow up. I think sometimes the anticipation of letting them actually go will be worse than the actual letting go, but I want to already be preparing my heart and mind for that season. I’ll miss times spent together as a family–family dinners, family game/movie nights, the everyday time together. Love that there are those who have gone before me and can give me wisdom and perspective!
Saying goodbye to my oldest son was the hardest thing I have ever done (well maybe giving birth to him may top this). A month ago, we hugged for what it seemed just seconds. He traded my arms for his beautiful hands and off the nest he flew. Now we are picking up the feathers off our couch and his room and making way for my youngest to settle until next year when he is off to college. I am so glad the heart is a muscle that forever will be exercised, strengthen and expanded. Thank you for the encouragement today.
So so needed! I am dreading this day? As the mother of a singleton, I’ve wondered how to prepare for my son taking flight. ? This is great ??
My oldest son is a junior in high school and also has Autism. He is high functioning and we are confident that he will go to college. It will be hard to not be able to help him at all times if he needs us, and scary just to let him try to do it all on his own.
Kathi, Thanks for seeing through your ministry. Since I helped your table at Hearts at Home 2016 I have been thinking a lot about this. Moving 3 times while the kids have grown up is so sentimentally hard for me. I miss all the effort we put into decorating their rooms, laughter in the halls, and the nesting with my girls. My youngest is a senior… experienced the last homecoming game this past Friday. Really, I did my best to capture the best image of her in her dress… even to photoshop the neighbors swimming pool out of the background. Will she cherish that photo that is getting printed?? I don’t know, but I will if she leaves it behind. You have taught me to pitch most items…so flat things I have room for in their file box!!
The hardest part of moving on will be holding my happy/sad tears as I cheer them on to leave and cleave to the dreams that God has given them. I trust that God’s hand is on their days. I pray they choose to glorify God in their new homes that they create and allow me to share in the (“shh”) grandchildren’s lives with open arms. My emotional health will be overwhelmed if I don’t address this starting now. Thanks for the challenging question.
Our kids are young (8, 5, 2) but I know I will miss the comfort of knowing where they are at all times and that they are safe. I pray we will have equipped them with the tools they need to be amazing adults who love the Lord. I hope they will want to come home often to visit and will call their mama every day. ?
We are right in the middle with one son married, one in college, and one a senior in high school. For me the hardest part is not being able to spend as much time with them. Time is definitely my love language and I now have to cherish every visit I get, and then wait for the next visit.
Hands down—Family dinners. My oldest began his freshman year of college this past August. We see him every few weeks for football games. But I truly miss the time we had around the dinner table when the 4 of us would come together at the end of the day to reconnect and laugh — a lot!! Counting the days to Thanksgiving Break!! 🙂
It’s all going to be hard for me. Right now our kids are 9 and 6 and we have entered the phase of sleepovers and I stress over letting them go for one night! I can’t even imagine letting go forever!
I think the hardest thing is hoping you have done enough to equip them and if not letting them suffer natural consequences so they can learn.