by kathilipp | Feb 14, 2013 | Relationships |
Today’s Project: Buy (or dig out) a piece of lingerie that both you and your husband will love – then put it to good use.
Yep – we’re going to go there. It’s time to talk lingerie.
How’s your lingerie wardrobe? A little outdated? Was the last teddy you bought something you got just before your wedding?
Oh there’s so much drama around this subject. Ever since Victoria let her Secret out, you cannot walk in a mall or watch live TV without having a push-up bra or lace thong thrust in your face. And, even worse, in your husband’s face.
How am I, a suburban housewife who has birthed two kids (both weighing in at almost ten pounds) supposed to compete with Gisele Bündchen, in all of her angel, airbrushed, glory? I can’t (duh), but that doesn’t mean that I should give up all together and resort to wearing footie pajamas to bed every night.
We’ve heard over and over that every woman needs a capsule wardrobe – select items of basic clothing that can be mixed and matched and updated with trendy pieces to get you dressed with confidence and out the door in a matter of minutes. Now it’s time to think about your capsule lingerie wardrobe. A few basic pieces in your favorite colors that all go together to make you feel fabulous.
Here are the basics that every woman needs to own and love:
- Silky pajamas – No, they don’t show a lot of skin, but each piece can be worn separately (the bottoms with a silky camisole, the top all by itself). Plus, you have something cute and fun that keeps you covered when your in-laws come to visit.
- Silky camisole and boy shorts – These can be mixed and matched with the above items, or worn together when a more bare-bones approach is appropriate.
- A Kimono – This style of robe looks great on everyone, covers enough to run outside and get the paper, while still looking cool and sexy.
- A Lacy Bra and Matching Underwear – Sure to be a crowd-of-one pleaser. Your choice on the style of underwear (thong, brief or full coverage).
Consider these optional items to make things a little more fun:
- Some Fabulous Heels – Heels have the magical ability to make your legs look longer and give definition to your rear end. The nice thing is that it doesn’t matter if they’re not the most comfortable shoes in the world – you probably won’t be wearing them for very long.
- A Teddy – Hides tummy issues and looks great on every figure.
- (Extra Credit) A Boa – I will leave that to your imagination.
Wear something sexy to sleep in. It doesn’t need to be one of Victoria’s sweet nothings. Perhaps just a silky nightshirt or a lacy camisole; the goal is to dump the Nike t-shirt that you normally sport.
Also, it’s your job to make sure that sleep is not all that happens in your pretty new nighty.
Make the extra effort to feel great about yourself — you know that some of that mood will rub off on your husband.
Tell me in the comments below when you will be pulling out the frills – any other details are up to you… (remember this is a family blog, so please keep all comments PG13…) One of you will win The What’s for Dinner Project
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
by kathilipp | Feb 13, 2013 | Relationships |
Today’s Project: Leave a cute and flirty note for your husband to find.
“A simple word can renew hope.” Lois Mayday Rabey
Keep it simple today. Put a Post-it in his briefcase, on his dashboard, in his wallet, anywhere that he will find it. Make it fun, make it flirty, but just make sure he is the one who will find it. Wink-wink.
OK – some guys are going to think it’s hokey. But, if you can’t be hokey in your marriage, when, can you be?
All I want you to do is give him a little encouragement. I know there’s nothing more encouraging for my husband than knowing that I am on his side. Throughout his day, I want him to know that no matter how difficult things may be at work, he’s got someone at home rooting for him. All it takes is a post-it note, and about two seconds of thought.
And if you want to get the kids involved – look at what Dawn Beavers did for her husband – asking her kids why they love their daddy and putting Heart-Shaped Post-it Notes to work, she created a thing of art that would do any dad proud!
Crib Notes: 21 Post-It-Sized Encouragements
- I’m praying for you today.
- Those jeans are really working for you…
- I love you.
- You are the best dad!
- You’re the kind of husband that makes the other wives jealous.
- You rock my world!
- Can’t wait to see you tonight – meet me upstairs…
- Thanks for working hard to provide for us. I appreciate all that you do.
- You make me feel beautiful.
- I thank God for you everyday.
- How did I get so lucky, being married to a guy like you?
- You’re great!
- You make everyday more fun.
- Have a great day.
- You’re hot!
- I feel so safe with you.
- Smart and good looking – I’ve got the whole package in you!
- You can be very distracting, you know…
- Our kids are so blessed to have a dad like you.
- That smile I wear – it is all because of you.
- God have blessed me in big ways by letting me be your wife.
Let’s Be More Specific
I gave you that list in case this whole exercise is a challenge for you. If it feels uncomfortable leaving a note for your husband, it you get writer’s block even when the blank page is post-it note sized, just use one of the above phrases to get you started.
However, if you’re comfortable, and can get a little more personal, I would highly encourage you to do so.
“Specific praise is far better than general praise.” Gary Smalley
When leaving notes for my husband, I try to be as specific as possible about how he has blessed me. Every once in a while, I will leave him a little note saying things like,
“How lucky am I that I have a husband who makes the bed everyday. Thanks for taking care of me.”
(Hint: Men love to know that you feel “taken care of.” It makes guys feel like they’re doing their job.)
Or
“I loved falling asleep on your shoulder last night. You have a special way of making me feel safe and warm.”
Think about the ways that your husband loves you, and then put them down on paper. When you write those things down, it’s a double blessing, because:
- while you are writing it down, it reminds you of how much you are loved
- it encourages your husband in a way that only you can
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11).
Your Project: Tell us what you are going to write on your Post-it, and where you are going to put it so he will see it. Tell me in the comments and you will be entered to win THE GET YOURSELF ORGANIZED PROJECT.
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
by kathilipp | Feb 12, 2013 | Relationships |
Today’s Project: Say something nice about your husband to someone else. Make sure you tell him what you said, and to whom.
As cliché as it may sound, our husbands want to be our heroes. More than they want to know that we love them, they want to know that we respect them. They need to know that they’re never the butt of our jokes, that they’re the go-to-guy in every story we tell.
Make an opportunity today to spread some great gossip about your man. It doesn’t matter if it’s one of your friends or one of his; let that somebody know how blessed you are to be married to your guy.
Some key phrases you may want to put on index cards to help you remember:
? “I feel so lucky to have a man who knows how to do his own laundry.”
? “You know when I knew that my husband really loved me? When he could remember my order at Starbucks.”
? “I just love the way he is with our kids.”
? “He makes the best lasagna on the planet.”
Steering the Ship
A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it (James 3: 3-4 The Message). That’s what great gossip is all about.
As wives, we are often the ship’s captain, while our husbands are that huge ship. Words spoken in encouragement and love can go a long way to building our men up. But the opposite is true as well. There is nothing that can determine the direction of our husband’s day quicker than the words that are spoken to him in the morning.
Sometimes as wives, we forget the role we play in our husband’s lives. We all remember that great line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, spoken by Toula’s mom, “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck. She tells him which way to turn.”
OK, I don’t tell my husband which way to turn, but I do have an influence about how he navigates through his day.
I know that I need to be especially careful about my tone. Sometimes I think I am just oh-so-witty, when really it’s coming off as sarcastic and biting. It’s not enough to just say kind and encouraging words. I need to make sure that whatever words I choose only build up my husband, never tear him down.
That’s what great gossip is all about.
Death to the Dufus Dad
Our world encourages us to define our husbands by what is lacking in them. Need proof? Just turn on your TV.
Watch any channel for more than ten minutes and you’re almost assured of seeing some man playing the role of the dufus dad. You know the one; his wife is always right, his kids don’t respect him, and he’s the punch line of every joke, accompanied by a laugh track. Even his best friend, the dog, thinks he’s kind of a moron.
I feel like it’s time for a man revolution in our generation. No, I don’t want to go back to the times where women were tethered to the oven by their ever-present strand of pearls. But, I do want to see a place where men are allowed to be men and they can be respected for it.
My warrior cry will be, “Death to the Dufus Dad!”
But I digress.
OK – so you have bragged on your husband, now what?
Once you have done your bragging, let your husband know what you said, and to whom. He needs to know that he is the good guy in every story you tell.
With our friends, we have a lot of influence over the “tone” of our speech. Here’s how my friend, Michelle, puts it when it comes to steering away from complaining about her husband, Rick:
“I love this Project and have practiced it for years, even when I was irritated with my husband. Sometimes hearing yourself point out the good stuff gives you the power to change your own perception of something that’s annoying — of course, not that Rick is EVER annoying.
Another thing I think about… how women can help other women. When a woman is complaining about her husband (not confiding, because I think there’s a difference and we should be there for our buddies), but when it’s a light-hearted complaint, where a friend may be stuck in a rut, thinking about something in regard to her husband, I try and gently encourage her to see the goodness in her husband. I might say something like, “Yeah, he likes to watch football, but think of how he’s also bonding with your sons by sharing something they have in common!” You know, I try to find the silver lining and ‘illuminate’ that for my friend.”
While your greatest need may be for your husband to tell you that he loves you, most guys are programmed differently. He wants, at his very core, to know that you respect him. He wants to know that you are proud of him and that he is the one you would choose again if given the chance.
This goes a long way to solidifying you as a team, as well. There’s no way that anyone in my family would ever say a word against
my husband. They know that I’m on his side, and it’s a gossip-free zone around me (unless the gossip is about how great he is.)
So to be entered into today’s giveaway: 1. Tell us something awesome about your husband, and then tell your husband that you bragged on him.
And what will you win? A copy of The “What’s for Dinner?” Solution. Food and flattery – does it get any better for a guy?
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
by kathilipp | Feb 11, 2013 | Relationships |
Today’s Project: Let him win the media wars as you suggest an action-packed-car-chasing-things-exploding thriller – a guy movie.
“What is it with men and The Godfather?” wonders chick-flick princess Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. Tom Hanks’ response? “It is the I Ching. It is the sum of all wisdom. The Godfather answers all of life’s questions. What should I pack for my summer vacation? ‘Leave the gun, take the cannoli.’”
One of the most marriage-testing conversations a couple can have takes place in the aisles of your local video store (or on Netflix, or on Amazon…). You want romance and subtitles – he wants guns and grunts.
Movies are an important ingredient of “The Husband Project”. There are many projects where you, as the wife, are called upon to put your husband’s wants and desires before your own, and in no area of marriage is it harder to “die to self’ than when picking what you’ll be watching on a Friday night.
The good news? Choosing to watch a “guy flick” with your man reaps double benefits – not only are you loving on your husband in a tangible way, you’re also doing research at the same time. The more Rambo-esqe cinema you take in, the deeper a peek you’ll have into your man’s inner life.
If you ever doubted that your husband’s deepest desire was to be your hero, just check out the kinds of movies he watches. Most male-movie fare is all about being a stand-up kind of guy, doing the right thing, no matter the circumstances. (Think Bruce Willis in Die Hard and Mel Gibson in The Patriot.)
Here is how my pastor, Scott Simmerok, put it when I asked him why he likes the kind of movies he does:
“Action thrillers and motivational/inspirational are the way I roll. Not scary stuff but suspenseful, who-done-it, and also underdog type movies when the little guy wins. Except I wasn’t a fan of Sea Biscuit and I’ll never admit to shedding a tear in that flick.”
So in the interest of public service to the wife community, I’ve compiled a list of guy movies for you to choose from.
This list is a compilation of the best dude movies as voted on by my guy friends. You may not like, or even approve of, every title on this list, but at least you’ll have a working knowledge of guy movie culture, plus a go-to guide the next time he leaves it up to you to fend for yourself at the video store.
Thanks to my guy friends for their insight and comments. They have preformed a great service to women everywhere.
Guy Movies
Anything with Al Pacino
Anything with Marlon Brando (pre-Don Juan Demarco)
Anything with Bruce Willis
Sports
Field of Dreams
“Baseball. Need I say more?” Steve
We are Marshall
“Inspiring, true, sports story,” Scott
Action
Back to the Future trilogy
Steve says,” I’ve always been interested in time travel. The only think that would have made it better would be a cameo by Molly Ringwald.”
Mission Impossible 1,2,3
Bourne Supremacy and all the sequels
The Net
Lord of the Ring: The Return of the King
“Great story, great action, worth sitting through three hours.” Karl
Violence
Gladiator
“Total macho movie, lots of action, however good plot and I love the soundtrack. This is one of the few movies where you don’t mind being the guy wearing the skirt.” Karl
Saving Private Ryan
Steve says, “Groundbreaking cinema, pro-military without being pro-war.”
The Shawshank Redemption
“Morgan Freeman and good over evil. What more could you ask for?” Charles
(Note from Kathi: While these are the hardest movies for me to watch, they do give me ample opportunity to bury my face in my husband’s shoulder.)
Humor
Young Frankenstein
“Seriously funny movie, quotes are memorable and make me laugh out loud whenever I think about that movie.” Karl
Oceans 11
Romance
(This was a trick category – if you think this falls under guy movies, you are still thinking like a chick.)
Movies Both Guys and Girls Like
This is a magical list. Every Hollywood producer is looking for that mystical intersection of entertaining males and delighting females. Here’s a group of movies that, from my research, is a pretty sure bet for both of you:
Princess Bride – Don’t let the title fool you – even the teenage boys in our home love this movie.
What’s Up, Doc?
Indiana Jones (1 and 3 – but don’t even bother with 2)
City Slickers
Field of Dreams
Shrek
Chick Flicks
Only to be watched with girlfriends and large supplies of tissues and chocolates.
- An Affair to Remember
- Breakfast at Tiffany’s
- Steel Magnolias
- Fried Green Tomatoes
- Say Anything (John Cusack declaring his eternal love with a boom box? It’s the fantasy of many a girl and the impossible-to-live-up-to standard for every guy.)
- Anything with Meg Ryan
- Anything written by Jane Austin
So tell me – what kind of movies are your guy’s favorite? And for this week’s project, are you going to let him pick, or are you going to surprise him with a movie of his choice. Let me know in the comments below, and you will be entered to win TWO COPIES of the Marriage Project (one for you, and one for your man!)
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
That’s just two things:
What kind of movies does your guy like?
When are you going to watch a movie he would like this week?
by kathilipp | Feb 10, 2013 | Relationships |
Today’s Project: Get a food treat for him that he’s not required to share with you or any other family member.
It’s time to think about food, glorious food.
My husband goes positively bonkers over a candy called Cherry Sours. As a leftover from his Florida childhood (from, what I can tell, was spent largely at Walt Disney World) he was first introduced to this candy and has great memories associated with them. The candy in question is a little red sugar ball – and my guy is desperately, inexplicably in love with mass quantities of them.
Which totally confounds me. They taste like the stuff your dental hygienist uses to rinse your mouth out after a particularly painful and thorough cleaning.
But, he loves ‘em, so I search for Cherry Sours whenever I can. They can be hard to locate, so when I do, I try to stock up, without Roger knowing.
When he’s having a rough time at work or I want to say congratulations for a job well done, I break out the Cherry Sours.
Is there a treat that you personally find revolting that your husband absolutely loves? Get it for him, letting him know through this small act, “This is all for you, baby…” (and if you truly don’t like the treat, he won’t feel obligated to share.)
Even if you do love it, insist that it’s all for him. Don’t let him share with you. This is something special that does not require him to share with his neighbor. (It’s perfectly acceptable to get a matching treat for yourself.)
Stumped for ideas? Here are some thoughts:
•Get his favorite pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
•Is there a certain cut of meat that your husband loves? How about having the butcher cut something just for him?
•Learn how to make his favorite dish from childhood.
•My guy loves the smell of baking almost as much as he enjoys eating the treat. Have some brownies in the oven when he gets home from work or working out. (I know, it negates the workout, but isn’t chocolate always worth it?)
Let me know what you’re going to do for your man in the comments below and one of the lucky winners will receive a “My Husband is a Hottie” T-shirt! If you want one for a treat for him for Valentines Day,
order it from my store Monday by 2:00 and you’ll have it in time for the holiday!) THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
Want even more ideas on Man Food? Subscribe to Kathi’s Newsletter and receive her e-cookbook The Ultimate Guide to Man Food:
by kathilipp | Feb 7, 2013 | Uncategorized |
We are giving away a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband to one of our commenters today, so join the conversation!
It had been a 
no-good, horrible day.
My kids were not behaving how I raised them (I promise you, they were raised better than they were acting,) someone else got picked for the job I wanted, and the cat decided to use the only decent piece of furniture in our home as his new scratching post.
On days like this, I call up my mom and whine to her. Then I call up my friend Cheri, who promises to pray for me, and, for a small fee, make the cat disappear. And then I feel better.
I have about a half dozen people I could call at a moment’s notice and I know they would be praying for me. By the end of the conversation, I would have some hope, and a good laugh.
But at the end of a bad day, who does my husband have?
If there is going to be any encouragement in my husband’s life, it is a safe bet that it needs to come from me. My husband doesn’t have a bunch of people in his life that will pray over the destructive cat. If he needs prayer, if he needs encouragement, then he needs me.
SCRIPTURE
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
— 1 Thessalonians 5:11
PRAYER FOR TODAY
God, I pray that I would always be ready to pray and encourage my man. Give me your eyes to see his needs. Let me be the one to always build him up, with your strength.
encourage….
Tell me one way you can encourage your man today. We are giving away a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband to one of our commenters today, so join the conversation!
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
by kathilipp | Feb 6, 2013 | God |
We are giving away a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband to one of our commenters today, so join the conversation!
There is more month than there is paycheck. I can’t keep up with the work — both inside the house and outside of it. My parents need me, my kids need me, and my husband needs me.
Throughout the day, I am reminded that there is never enough.
Enough money.
Enough time.
Enough me to go around.
And so often, it’s easy to put that burden on my husband – He doesn’t make enough money. He isn’t helping out enough with the house. He isn’t helping out enough with the family. Whether it’s silently, or in my attitude.
But when I’m lacking, it’s not up to my husband to meet my need. It’s totally up to God.
SCRIPTURE
And my God will meet
all your needs according
to the glorious riches
in Christ Jesus.
— Philippians 4:19
PRAYER FOR TODAY
God, I pray that I would always be reminded to put my burden where it belongs — squarely at your feet. You already know what I need for each day – you see around every corner.
I pray that I would come to my husband as a partner and helpmate in everything.
Tell me – what are you struggling with “enough” of: Time, money, energy, space? Tell me in the comments below.We are giving away a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband to one of our commenters today, so join the conversation!
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
by kathilipp | Feb 5, 2013 | God |
We are giving away a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband to one of our commenters today, so jump in!
Would I want to come home to my house? It’s an honest question. Depending on the day, yes. And no.
There are days when I’ve worked hard at making my home a soft place to land. I’ve spent a little time cleaning up messes, getting dinner on the table, and put some music on the iPod that helps me connect with God.
Then there are other days.
Usually the other days have involved a little too much TV and a lot too much Facebook. I end up scrambling to pray up a miracle for dinner, and am resentful that all of this is left to me to do.
When I spend time in God’s word, I go into my day being grateful for the home, husband, job and family God has given me, instead of being resentful for the interruptions that they impose on my day. How long did I hope for the husband and kids I now have? How many others would love to have the home I now have, messy and mortgage payments included?
I want to walk through my day — and my home — with an abundance of gratitude. So much so, that when my husband, or anyone else — comes through the threshold, they can’t help but get that thankfulness splashed on them.
SCRIPTURE
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
— Proverbs 14:1
PRAYER FOR TODAY
God, let me be the wise woman who builds up her home and all who are in it. God, don’t let me get years down the road and see that I’ve been the one tearing it down. Let it be a safe haven for all who enter, especially for my husband.
a house of peace….
Tell me one of the “interruptions” you are grateful for today. We are giving away a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband to one of our commenters today, so don’t be shy!
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
by kathilipp | Feb 4, 2013 | God |
We are giving away a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband to one of our commenters today, so jump in!
Sometimes my husband gets stuck.
Whether it’s in an old addiction that is trying to get a hold of him, a way of thinking that leaves him believing he can’t change anything in his life, a job he hates, or in a relationship that he knows isn’t good for him, sometimes my husband gets stuck.
I encourage him and love on him, but there are just some days where he feels like he can’t make the changes he wants, or needs to make.
So I pray that he would start believing God for the power to change. That he would abandon his old ways of thinking, (“I’ll never.” “I can’t.”) and start thinking in the way that God designed him to think; That all things are possible for those who believe him.
SCRIPTURE
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.
— Romans 12:2
PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father, I pray that my husband would not look for approval in the world, but only from you. Let his mind dwell on the matters that are important to you. God, I pray that he would know your will and find delight in living for, and loving, you.
Tell me in the comments below what area of your husband’s life you want to pray for your husband’s full belief in God’s power to change our thoughts, circumstances, and patterns. We are giving away a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband to one of our commenters today, so jump in!
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
by kathilipp | Feb 3, 2013 | God |
Let me know that you’re praying for your husband and each day we will have a drawing for one of our books. Today’s book is Praying God’s Word for Your Husband.
“If only he would listen to me . . .” Oh, that sentence has gotten me into so much trouble.
How many times have I thought that? If only my husband would take my advice, he would have a better job, be a better father, be healthier . . . (fill in the blank). When I’m trying to control my husband, what I’m really doing is trying to withhold him from God.
I want to be the kind of wife who spends twice as many words praying to God on my husband’s behalf as I do offering advice to my man. I know that what my husband thinks is nagging will drive a wedge between us, but when I pray for him, it draws us closer together.
SCRIPTURE
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.— James 5:16
PRAYER FOR TODAY
God, let me live openhandedly when it comes to my husband. Help me realize that my prayers on his behalf are more effective than any words I could speak to him. Let him always feel safe sharing his needs with me, knowing I will take them only to you.
Remember, tell me in the comments that you’re praying for your man and each day we will draw a name each day to win. Today’s giveaway is Praying God’s Word for Your Husband
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
