by Guest Blogger | Feb 9, 2017 | Guest Blog, Relationships |
When I was pregnant with my third child, my doctor put me on bed rest for eleven weeks because I went into preterm labor. I was overwhelmed—to say the least. I was allowed once daily trips down and up the stairs, and a shower every other day.
Everything I did happened in bed—except sleep! Because who can sleep after lying around all day? Oh, and the medicine they give you to prevent labor is actually a stimulant, which doesn’t help. (C’mon people, this is modern America, can’t we do better?)
Overwhelmed became my middle name
That time was scary and frustrating, and I needed LOTS of help taking care of my then four and two-year-old babies, and my poor overwhelmed hubby, who could barely keep his head above water, despite the help we received.
What I learned during those weeks, and subsequently, as I endured four back surgeries in six years, is that when a person is facing overwhelm like never before, there is one thing they crave: normalcy.
During the last few weeks before my due date, my doctor released me to go on one outing a day. So one Wednesday, I chose to go to swimming lessons with my kids.
Previous to my forced bed rest, I dreaded those hectic afternoons—hurried, sweating bullets in the tropical temps of the indoor pool, trying to get unruly toddlers to comply. Sadly when I was fully healthy and able, I often wished those afternoons away.
But when I couldn’t do my regular chaotic life, oh, how I wished for normal.
My mother-in-law (a godsend) stepped in for swim lesson day. She wrangled my littles into car seats, wrestled them into swimsuits, drenched herself during the post-swimming shower routine, and somehow managed to get their sticky, wet limbs stuck back into dry clothes.
For any woman who does this on a regular basis, you know this is a heroic feat!
And all this was done for one purpose: so that I could have a dose of normalcy in the midst of my overwhelmed life. So I could watch my tiny people do their big kid kicks, get splashed, and sit in a wobbly, uncomfortable, plastic chair at the side of the pool.
But really, so I could have small dash of normal in the midst of my overwhelmed life.
A few hours of normalcy is one of the biggest blessings I received in those bed rest and back surgery days. If you want to be a friend who loves well in times of hardship, consider giving the gift of normal.
How to help a friend who’s overwhelmed
Here’s a few ways to help create normalcy:
• Take them to Target or the mall (even if they need the wheelchair)
• Go to the movies (recliner seat theaters are perfect for infirm friends)
• Go out to coffee
• Offer to accompany them to their kids’ events (you do all the “heavy lifting” if needed)
• Help with their household tasks like laundry, dishes, cleaning so they can focus their energy on time with family.
One Small Win: Call a friend who’s experiencing a hard time (illness, stress, loss of a loved one, cancer, infertility, divorce, etc.) and offer to do one of these “normal” things with her!
For more practical ways to support those you care about in the rough patches of life, you can pick up a copy of Sarah Beckman’s, Alongside: A Practical Guide for Loving Your Neighbor in their Time of Trial, which releases February 14, 2017.
Sarah Beckman is an author and speaker, living in Albuquerque, NM, with her husband, Craig, of 24 years. They have three delightful children ages 15, 17, and 20. Her experience on both sides of the “bed”—both being helped and helping others—provide her authentic viewpoint for her book, Alongside. When she’s not writing or speaking, you might find her in the kitchen creating something to share with a “neighbor” in need.
Her passion for loving her neighbor has fueled her life and ministry for over 10 years, giving her the opportunity to address audiences across the country. She has a B.A. in Journalism from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and also works as a communications coach and corporate trainer.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 30, 2017 | Guest Blog, Home, I Need Some Help Here |
I feel like I’m running in circles and accomplishing nothing!
As a newlywed, 23-year-old first year grad student, I found myself constantly repeating this refrain.
I was working a part-time job, getting my toes wet in ministry at my new church, and sharing a vehicle with my husband who just started his first full-time job.
Add household chores and trying to make new friends to the list, and I was one busy lady.
Do you know the feeling?
Always doing and going and then you close your eyes at the end of the day and think, “Surely I accomplished something…” Then as you lay there you discover your primary accomplishment was making it out alive!
I certainly felt that way. And I still do sometimes.
The acknowledgement jar
Which is why I created an Acknowledgement Jar.
It’s a repurposed vase, which I sat on my desk next to a stack of notecards and a pen.
At the end of each day, I challenge myself to think of at least two accomplishments for that day and write each one on a notecard, fold the cards into squares, and drop them in the jar.
These can be small victories, like completing my daily workout or avoiding late fees at the library.
Other times I write down bigger accomplishments, like landing an internship or earning a bonus.
Some days my only accomplishment is just making it through the day. And you know what? That’s okay!
The longer I’ve done this, the more accomplishments I am able to think of. I even have moments now where I’ll think to myself, I can’t wait to add this one to my jar!
Pull out your own vase
Maybe you’re learning to be an adult like me (hello bills!).
Perhaps you work over 40 hours a week and come home to children, hungry for your food and attention.
Or maybe you are a stay-at-home mom, making sure your home stays a haven.
Regardless of your routine or stage in life, I am confident that acknowledging your daily accomplishments will be encouraging!
This one simple habit has given me an eye for noticing all the little victories. I am thankful as I linger in these feel-good moments.
One Small Win: Create an Acknowledgement Jar today and be motivated by your own every day accomplishments!
What you need:
____Container (I used a vase I found under my sink, but a box, mason jar or basket works)
____Notecards
____Writing utensil
Kelsee Keitel is a graduate student and blogger, living in Indianapolis, IN, with her newlywed husband. She is passionate about cultivating sisterhood through vulnerability and introducing young women to the freedom and abundance of life in following Christ. When Kelsee is not snuggled up with a book and sipping tea, she can be found experimenting in the kitchen or chatting with her mom.
You can read more about how Kelsee experiences divine moments in the midst of ordinary life over at kelseekeitel.com or on Instagram and Facebook.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 28, 2017 | Clutter Free, Overwhelmed |
When my son, Jonathon, was seven, he was totally into Monopoly.
I went on eBay and found a Monopoly clock, Monopoly mug, and then struck the Monopoly motherlode: Monopoly fabric!
Started
I bought enough to make a quilt, pillows, and curtains.
I signed up for a quilt-making class, where I cut a lot of the fabric into a lot of strips. I even sewed some of the strips into T shapes.
Then–-as is so typical for my Expressive personality–-I ran out of steam.
Stopped
I quickly became overwhelmed by all the attention to detail that making a “T Quilt” requires.
I didn’t want details; I wanted a quilt!
So, I set the project aside. Then bagged it up. Eventually, stored it in the garage.
For. Ten. Years.
Stored
A decade later, when I pulled out the box that held the bag holding all the Monopoly fabric, my heart took a fantastical leap.
“I can finish this now … or this summer … or next year!” I started thinking.
But thanks to Clutter Free, I knew that my habit of storing stuff was not good stewardship.
Letting of an unfinished project
So I took photos of the Monopoly fabric and posted them on Facebook with the note, “Free to good home.”
Sherry, an acquaintance, responded immediately. An avid quilter, she offered to take, and promised to use, all my quilting fabric and supplies.
Then–-as is so typical for my Expressive personality–-I forgot all about the fabric. Out of sight, out of mind. I’m an idea gal, a starter, so I moved on to new projects.
Two years later, Sherry blessed me with photos of the quilt that I started and she so lovingly finished:
It looks better than I ever imagined!
She gave the quilt to a family member who was thrilled to receive it and adores using it.
What started-stopped-and-stored project can you give away today?
One Small Win: You don’t have to hang on to the quilt…or the guilt. You don’t need to finish what you started. You can let someone else take it from here.
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (24), also opposite personalities.
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? Take the self-quiz and discover the surprising strengths of a tender heart.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 13, 2017 | Blog, Overwhelmed |
“We all pay an Overwhelmed tax,” Kathi tells me.
To myself, I think: Well, maybe you do, but I’m sure I don’t.
Aloud, I say: “How interesting!”
Kathi gives an illustration of adding a service to her cell phone during a trip and then forgetting to cancel it. This resulted in paying months of unnecessary extra charges.
Again, I think to myself: Well, maybe you do that kind of thing, but I’m sure I don’t.
Overwhelmed Tax: The Dental Work Payment
Later in the week, I visit my dentist who kindly but honestly informs me since I’ve waited so long to see him, what could have been a filling now needs to be a crown … possibly a root canal.
I start to throw myself a pity party.
This is so unfair. I work so hard. I’m so busy. I don’t have time to …
Kathi’s words interrupt my thoughts: “We all pay an Overwhelmed Tax.”
And I wonder: Do I pay an Overwhelmed Tax, after all?
Overwhelmed Tax: The Plane Ticket Fee
A few weeks later, I add an item to my to-do list:
“Book a return flight for Annemarie.”
I check the price online: thanks to a special deal, it’s under $100.
Whew!
Days pass.
“Book a return flight for Annemarie” stays on my to-do list.
Weeks pass.
Finally, I put, “Book a return flight for Annemarie” on my calendar.
When I go online, I find that the ticket price has doubled.
I start to kick myself for being so …
… so what? Lazy? Hardly. I’ve been busy. And sick.
Kathi’s words return: “We all pay an Overwhelmed Tax.”
And instead of wallowing in denial, persecution, or punishment, I accept the truth:
Today, I’m paying a hefty Overwhelmed Tax to Southwest Airlines.
Overwhelmed Tax: The Acute Pneumonia Fallout
It’s one week before Christmas, and I’ve been sick for nine weeks straight.
Two months ago, I determined to soldier through my many commitments. But the worse my cough became, the more I had to cancel.
I finally do what I should have done long ago: take myself to Urgent Care. I emerge with a diagnosis of pneumonia, a prescription for antibiotics, and doctor’s orders to rest.
By Christmas Eve, my symptoms are almost gone, and my strength is returning.
On the way home, I begin to tally up the Overwhelmed Tax I’m paying because I failed to seek medical care early on.
• A bunch of time-sensitive projects are way behind schedule.
• My family has had a grouchy, lethargic wife and mom for way too long.
• I have neither rested well or worked well nor played well for two long months.
All because I was too overwhelmed—by busyness, by annoyance, and even by pride—to make the choice to see a doctor sooner.
Minimizing the Overwhelmed Tax Damage
I now agree with Kathi: We all pay an Overwhelmed Tax.
(And if you’re tempted to tell yourself, “Well, maybe you do, but I’m sure I don’t,” think again!)
One Small Win: Here are three effective ways we can minimize the Overwhelmed Taxes we pay:
1. Audit the Overwhelmed Tax you pay. Start keeping track of the various ways you pay Overwhelmed Tax. Money isn’t the only kind of cost—often, it’s the least of our expenses! An Overwhelmed Tax can be exacted on your time, your energy, your space, your relationships, and your integrity.
2. Avoid paying Overwhelmed Tax when possible. Take the ten minutes to book the plane ticket while the price is low. Hire help: it feels so much more satisfying to pay others for their skills than to pay an Overwhelmed Tax (which feels like failure.)
3. Accept that we all pay an Overwhelmed Tax. When you can’t avoid an Overwhelmed Tax, give yourself grace. Learn what you can move on. The steepest Overwhelmed Tax on earth is failure to forgive—it’s far too high a price to pay for anything.
Which one simple step will you take today?
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.” Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and the upcoming Overwhelmed. Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (23), also opposite personalities. Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.
by kathilipp | Dec 30, 2016 | Blog, Overwhelmed |
24 hours.
That’s how long the marketing experts told us to offer the special pre-order bonuses for Overwhelmed, our new book that officially releases on January 1.
“You have to create a sense of urgency! Otherwise, nobody will buy.”
We almost did what the experts said. We almost ran a high-pressure, TODAY ONLY, Cyber-Monday special.
But at the last minute, we changed our minds.
Why?
Well, for one thing, we knew that the last thing our readers needed was us pushing a our “sense of urgency” on them. (If there’s anything overwhelmed women already live with 24/7, it’s a sense of urgency!)
But more than anything, we had a feeling that our readers are just the kind of women to prove the experts wrong.
So, we said “no” to 24 hours of pressure tactics and “yes” to two full weeks of sharing the love, instead.
Your response?
You proved the experts wrong!
We’ve been totally blown away, in the best possible way.
A Gentle Reminder
In just over 24 hours, the December pre-order bonuses will expire. For each and every copy of Overwhelmed you pre-order, you get:
- The “Get Out from Overwhelmed Planner: Do Great Things, Be Less Cranky” + 7 short coaching videos by Kathi
- FIVE of our most popular book titles in ebook format from Book Shout
Getting your freebies is as easy as 1, 2, 3!
1 — Order Overwhelmed from your favorite retailer. (Out of stock right now with your favorite retailer? You can still order now and enjoy your free bonuses while you wait for your book to arrive.)
2 — Fill out this form to receive your bonuses.
3 — Check your email for your bonuses. (Be sure to check those promo or spam folders in case it gets misdirected.)
About Overwhelmed
Feeling overwhelmed? Wondering if it’s possible to move from “out of my mind” to “in control” when you’ve got too many projects on your plate and too much mess in your relationships?
Kathi and Cheri want to show you five surprising reasons why you become stressed, why social media solutions don’t often work, and how you can finally create a plan that works for you. As you identify your underlying hurts, uncover hope, and embrace practical healing, you’ll understand how to…
- trade the to-do list that controls you for a calendar that allows space in your life
- decide whose feedback to forget and whose input to invite
- replace fear of the future with peace in the present
You can simplify and savor your life—guilt free! Clutter, tasks, and relationships may overwhelm you now, but God can help you overcome with grace.
