I am getting ready for a retreat in the Santa Cruz Mountains (I know, try not to feel too sorry for me…)
So instead of doing a half-hearted post about The Husband Project, here is a full-hearted post about a coffee I love and a book I love (and we will get back to all things Husband on Monday…)
Have you tried the instant coffee, Via, from Starbucks? Now let’s just be clear. I am not an instant kind of girl. (And don’t even get me started on powdered creamer. I once had a MOPS group that was complaining that they were losing women. When I saw their coffee set-up I understood. POWDERED CREAMER. I mean really, have some pride ladies. You could have called me. I would have picked up some creamer on the way there. Really, it’s no bother.)
Leave me a comment as to why you deserve a moments peace, a cup of coffee, and a great read, and I will choose one winner to receive two packets of Via as well as one of my favorite books ever:
Blogging for a week and then find out that no one is reading it…
My Feedburner Account (Feedburner is what organizes my lists of who is reading the blog and sends them out to you,) decided to act like Goldilocks and determined that my blog posts were were just a wee bit too big and stopped sending them out.
And that made me sad. Very very sad.
In fact, I was having such a pity-party-table-for-one that I just gave up for a while.
So now I’m back, and we are going to have to resume The Husband Project, but I will start it tomorrow with a cool giveaway. Promise.
I missed all your comments and encouragements. Y’all give me a happy – every single day.
Walk blessed. Know that you are loved and were missed. And more tomorrow.
Win today’s giveaway! Just tell us what you did (or are going to do!) for today’s Project by 7:00 PST on Thursday and you will be entered into the drawing for today’s prize: The Marriage Cod
So leave your comment below to be entered to win!
While this is the second week of our project, if you have friends who want to join in, let them know that they can jump in any time. You don’t need to have The Husband Project book in order to participate, but you definitely will get more out of this(and be able to plan better) if you read along. You can order it on Amazon or for a special price on my website.
And yesterday’s winner? Heidi! Please e-mail kimber@kathilipp.com and she will get it right out to you!
Project #13
On My Mind
Turning Your Thoughts Towards Him
Your Project:
Set up reminders during your day to think and pray for your husband. Let him know sometime during the day that he has been on your mind.
Thinking of Him, on Purpose
Your life is so busy that there are days when showering suddenly seems like an unaffordable luxury. Your to-do list makes you feel done-in (even though nothing ever seems to get done). I’m at a point in life where many of my days seem to be over before they really got started. I have grand plans of writing the great American novel, redecorating our bedroom, and cooking gourmet meals for my family. The reality? Most often it is writing an e-mail, making the bed, and mac-n-cheese. There are days when I could go for hours, so totally involved in the minutia of my own existence, I can totally forget to really think about, or pray for, my husband
Not that my husband is forgettable, by any stretch of the imagination. The problem is, he rarely needs a ride to Haley’s house, doesn’t have teenage dating drama and is able to self-monitor his computer time, unlike the other members of our household. He’s pretty self-sufficient, so it’s easy for me to let him cruise on auto-pilot while I meet what seem to be more pressing work and family needs.
The biggest problem in all of this is that I want and need to pray for Roger, and yet, that can get lost in all the daily drama of life.
My husband desperately needs my prayers. I know this – but it seems that on many days, unless I’m absolutely intentional about praying for him, my whole day can slip by with nothing more than a nod towards heaven on Roger’s behalf.
I can somehow find time to eat, read, and watch the occasional Gilmore Girls’ rerun, but prayer seems a little out of reach.
That’s why I must be sure to make prayer something other than a footnote in my day. Roger and I have made it a habit to pray for each other while he drives to work (who knew a key element to improving my prayer life would be Bluetooth technology?). It’s at this point that I can learn what’s pressuring him each day and how I can pray for him throughout his time at work. I also have an Outlook reminder on my calendar to remind me to lift him up throughout my days of working and carpooling.
What can you put in place to remind you to think about your husband throughout the day? Be creative. Maybe it’s a picture of him on your dashboard, or spraying his cologne on a scarf and keeping it in your purse. Whatever it is that reminds you of him, keep it around so you can call him later that day and say, “You’ve been on my mind all day.” Trust me, it will make his day.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, let me speak when words are an encouragement.
Getting Creative
* Set an alarm on your cell phone for every couple of hours today. Let this be a reminder to stop and pray for your husband throughout the day.
* Do you have a picture of your husband on your cell phone? Make sure you do so that when he calls, his cute face will show up. (Ask a techie teenager to show you how to program this on your cell.)
Project Reports
“The best way for my husband to know I’ve been thinking about him during the day is to have his iced tea brewed and ready when he comes home. Another phone call interrupting his day does not communicate love for him. I just have to leave a sticky note reminder for myself to remember to do it.”
Karymn
“I always check in with my husband because he leaves for work at 4 am. So I usually call him and say good afternoon around 7am. Then I go into talk about questions for the day etc. Well today I called him and sang to him over the phone our song. He laughed and thought it was really cute. He said thanks for the laugh.”
You are more than half way through the Projects! Give yourself a pat on the back
Win today’s giveaway! Just tell us what you did (or are going to do!) for today’s Project by 7:00 PST on Tuesday and you will be entered into the drawing for today’s prize: Becoming the Woman of His Dreams
So leave your comment below to be entered to win!
While this is the second week of our project, if you have friends who want to join in, let them know that they can jump in any time. You don’t need to have The Husband Project book in order to participate, but you definitely will get more out of this(and be able to plan better) if you read along. You can order it on Amazon or for a special price on my website.
And yesterday’s winner? Sabrina! Please e-mail kimber@kathilipp.com and she will get it right out to you!
Project #12
Gotcha!
Notice the Great Things He Does
Your Project:
Tell your husband something about him that you think is simply great.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).
.
What Men Really Need
One of the big things I’ve learned in doing The Husband Project is that for us as wives, giving words of encouragement is one of the hardest Projects we have. Sometimes we get cranky about our husbands not expressing their feelings. However, the backlash I get from Projects that involve encouraging our husbands is that they’re often the most awkward and difficult for us to do.
And, isn’t that just how love is? We’re attracted to the people that are, in many cases, the ones we have to step outside of ourselves, stretch, and feel completely uncomfortable, to meet their needs.
In his book, What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men, author Patrick Morley shares some keen insight about what men need most:
“After his relationship with God and his family, what gets your husband out of bed in the morning?… What makes him happy?… How is he fulfilled?
Besides a second cup of coffee, your husband longs for his life to count, to matter. At the core of every man boils an intense desire “to do,” to master his world, to shape the course of events. Your husband is made for the task. Yet, not merely task for task’s sake, but task with meaning.”
Some big things you can focus on when encouraging your husband:
· Providing for your family (even if you’re both working outside the home)
· His faithfulness to you
· His leadership in your home
· His parenting abilities
· How he makes you feel about yourself
· His provision of security in your home
Prayer for Today
Dear God, my husband has so many great qualities I can tend to overlook. Let me see him with new eyes today.
Getting Creative
·Keep a 3×5 card in your pocket today. Every time some great quality about your guy comes to mind, make a note of it.
·If you’re having a little trouble coming up with items for your list, ask around. Ask your friends, your mom, your kids – anyone who is a fan of your man can point out all the good stuff.
Project Reports
“This was a Challenge to me today. I was not in the best of moods and feeling very irritable. Because of this project, I tried to put those feelings aside and focus on the things he does do. When he got himself a snack in the afternoon, I said that looks good I think I will have some too. Since the dog was lying with her head in my lap, he said he would get it for me. He does things like that all the time and I do not acknowledge that he does these little things. Therefore, when he came back into the room I not only thanked him but I went a step further and said “Thank-you so much for that, you are always doing such sweet nice things for me.” His response was precious; he started to smile but tried to restrain it and say “you’re welcome.” He said other words but I can not remember them basically he was down playing what he did, but was secretly thrilled for the praise. I need to work on praising him more for the things he does do, and thank-you Kathi for this project in helping us see ourselves more clearly. It also made me not run off with my irritations and instead focus on him.”
Linda
“I sent him an e-mail to let him know just how much I appreciate his hard work at providing the money. He works hard so I can stay home with the kids.”
You are more than half way through the Projects! Give yourself a pat on the back
Win today’s giveaway! Just tell us what you did (or are going to do!) for today’s Project by 7:00 PST on Sunday and you will be entered into the drawing for today’s prize:Burt’s Bees Lip Stash – Mixed
Lip Stash – “Mixed”
Mix it up for a treat for lips.
How it Works
The classics and the contemporaries all live in harmony in this favorite gift set for lips. We’ve paired our original Beeswax Lip Balm in both a tube and a tin with pomegranate-infused Replenishing Lip Balm and our sweet Honey Lip balm to create a gift set that keeps lips smiling.
So leave your comment below to be entered to win!
While this is the second week of our project, if you have friends who want to join in, let them know that they can jump in any time. You don’t need to have The Husband Project book in order to participate, but you definitely will get more out of this(and be able to plan better) if you read along. You can order it on Amazon or for a special price on my website.
And yesterday’s winner? Barb! Please e-mail kimber@kathilipp.com and she will get it right out to you!
Project #11
Stress-Be-Gone
Eliminate Something that Makes Him Crazy
“Stress is the trash of modern life – we all generate it but if you don’t dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life. “
Danzae Pace
Your Project
Today’s focus is to remove one stressor from his life. Figure out what makes him feel a tiny sense of defeat each day and plan to remove it.
My husband and I live in Silicon Valley where the dreams are big, but the houses are small. Our home, measuring in at less than 1300 square feet, with the two of us, plus throw in three teens living at home and a cat with a weight issue and you’ve got the making for some tight living quarters. Every square inch of our tiny town house serves at least a couple of purposes. The living room is also the kids’ computer room. Our dining area is homework central, and our master bedroom is also my office.
I know Roger would love nothing more than to come home and be able to lie down for a few minutes at the end of a hectic work day. Unfortunately, his side of the bed is the only flat surface I can use for the layout space for my next article, entitled How to Organize Your Home from the Inside – Out.
One thing I can do to love Roger a little better is to make sure that the bed is clear of projects and folded underwear at the end of the day. One less obstacle between him and a few minutes rest will go a long way in giving him peace.
What in your husband’s day makes him stifle a sigh? Does he have to remove a driveway-full of bikes before he can park his car? Is he a neat freak who comes home to MountFold-Me on the couch every day?
Maybe it’s a carload of donations waiting to go to the Goodwill or a special screw he needs to pick-up in order to fix the door. Whatever it is, see if there’s a way to take the annoyance out of his life.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, let me do these things, not to be noticed, but so my husband will feel loved and honored, even in the little things.
Getting Creative
· Does the sound of Cartoon Network blaring when he gets home drive your guy nuts? Maybe some Mozart (or Credence Clearwater Revival) would be a better sound to greet him.
· Does your he-man need to wade through piles of make-up and “product” just to brush his teeth? Time to declare some man territory in the bathroom. Put your stuff in baskets or on shelves so he has clear access to all his gear.
· Where’s his favorite spot in the house? If it’s the chair by the TV, make sure the remote is handy (with some fresh batteries, perhaps) and his news magazine is close by.
· Are there a bunch of albums your husband has been meaning to download on his iPod? Get your tech-savvy teenage neighbor to show you how to do that.
· Does he have a watch that needs a new battery, a piece of luggage with a broken handle that never quite seems to make it to the repair shop, or a favorite shirt with a button missing? Take care of the little annoyance, not to be thanked, but just to make his life a little easier and more hassle-free.
Project Reports
“There is one thing that really bugs my husband and that is my coffee cup collection. I just hate to get rid of anything but they don’t all fit in the cupboard. I guess I will just have to part with some of them today. “
Denise
“A little quirky but one of my husband’s annoyances is getting into the shower to find only a small, tiny little chip of a soap remnant left on the shelf. His biggest contention is that I take up the entire shower caddy with my 10 different “cucumber melon papaya mango coconut vanilla – there’s a produce section in our shower” bath gels so why do I need to use his bar of soap! I made sure a nice fresh bar of soap was readily available.”
Karmyn
“I went through all of the pens on my husband’s desk, pitching the ones that were out of ink, and replacing them with ones that could actually write.”
LOVED Yesterdays ideas about working together with your man. If you haven’t had a chance to read through them, take a minute and look at all the brilliance y’all have.
Win today’s giveaway! Just tell us what you did (or are going to do!) for today’s Project by 7:00 PST on Sunday and you will be entered into the drawing for today’s prize:Simply Beautiful – Inside and Out
Simply Beautiful Inside and Out
Make the most of what you’ve got – effortlessly, every day!
* Dress to flatter your figure * Use color effectively * Organize the closet with ease * Choose the right styles and accessories * Find the right hair style * Dress for your personality * Simplify your beauty routine * Save time and money shopping * Put together outfits with pizzazz * Develop a daily meditation time * Gain a healthy self image * Experience real joy
So leave your comment below to be entered to win!
While this is the first week of our project, if you have friends who want to join in, let them know that they can jump in any time. You don’t need to have The Husband Project book in order to participate, but you definitely will get more out of this(and be able to plan better) if you read along. You can order it on Amazon or for a special price on my website.
And yesterday’s winner? Tracy! Please e-mail kimber@kathilipp.com and she will get it right out to you!
Project #10
Dress to Impress
Something Just for Him
Your Project:
Wear something just for him. You can go buy something, or pick an item you already own. He doesn’t need to know what you’re doing – you know, and that will change a little something inside of you.
Not Just About the Clothes
There was a time in the not too distant past where I was ponytail crazy. Between hitting the gym, running kids to school and activities, and oh, trying to produce an income to feed and shelter four teenagers, my hair was the last thing on my to-do list. It was enough work just getting to my stylist, Franc, once a month to guarantee that I remained a redhead.
The problem was, I knew that Roger hated my convenient hairstyle of choice. He said that he loved it when I wore my hair down, loose, and curly.
That’s when the inner dialog started. Perhaps you’re familiar with this little speech:
OK – fine, I get it. He likes my hair down (when I wear skirts, when I wear jeans instead of sweats, when I wear blue…) doesn’t he understand that it takes time to do all that “girly” stuff? Oh sure, I could be perfectly done-up if I had a stylist and a make-up crew. All he has to do is throw on a pair on clean jeans and make sure there is no visible nose hair. Who does he think he is? Well if he helped out more with stuff around the house, then maybe I would have time to look like I didn’t just roll out of bed… I cannot believe how selfish he is!
All this because he told me how pretty I looked with my hair down.
Poor guy.
Our husbands like being married to women. Not that we have to be dressed in Laura Ashley, looking like an extra from Little House on the Prairie in a flowered smocking dress, just like a girl. In fact, I get more compliments from my guy when I am wearing my leather jacket and favorite jeans than when I get all “dolled up.” He just loves when I make the effort to look like my full time job is something other ditch digger.
Wearing my hair loose and curly, wearing his favorite color, or the necklace that he gave me last Christmas is just a little something to let him know that I ‘m thinking about him and care about his opinion.
Do a Little Research
Do you already know what your husband loves to see you in? If not, it may be time to do a little investigating, or even outright ask him.
The challenge here is that when you ask him, you also need to be prepared to listen to what he says. If you’re not willing to listen when he’s brave enough to tell you that he’s not a huge fan of the sweater with the feathers on it, then you need to respect him enough to stop wearing the sweater.
To ask, and then ignore, his opinion, is much worse than never asking at all.
Beauty Without Vanity
Subconsciously, women may wrestle with wearing nice clothes or doing your hair and make-up because of feeling undeserving of such an Extreme Makeover wardrobe. Or, perhaps, it’s a struggle because we might consider ourselves unspiritual or self-absorbed if we spend too much time on looking good.
I love how Jill Swanson, author of Simply Beautiful, Inside and Out, opens up her book talking about “Beauty Without Vanity”:
“Balancing beauty with humility is an ongoing struggle for today’s woman. None of us want to appear vogue on the outside and vague on the inside. If we were to be honest with ourselves, we would all like to look the best we can. Clothing and appearance affect how we feel and think about ourselves. They can lift our spirits and help give us confidence to face the real world.
The body is God’s handiwork. We have a responsibility to take care of it and to present ourselves in a way that will compliment the Kingdom of God. How we appear on the outside reflects our integrity and competence. Through initial contact with people, fifty-five percent of our perceived credibility is based on appearance alone! First impressions lay the groundwork for establishing trust and believability.”
Prayer for Today
Dear God, I pray my husband knows he’s special to me in every way – that he is worth the extra effort.
Getting Creative
· Is your husband a sports fan? Maybe the sexiest thing you could wear is a t-shirt with his team’s logo on it.
· The next time you’re shopping, start to think about your husband’s favorite color. Chances are it is blue – lucky us! There is a shade of blue that looks great on everyone. Make sure to mention that you bought it with him in mind.
Project Reports
“I had bought a new shirt a few weeks ago. Every time I wear it he says “I like that shirt” or “That shirts looks nice” so I wore that shirt today, occasionally throughout the day I remember his comments and feel more confident. He did not say anything this time, but he has said it enough a few times before so I know how he feels.”
Linda
Today I will wear a pair of gold earrings my husband gave me. The card that he wrote when he gave them to me read “I love you more each day.” So I call them my “I love you more each day earrings.” (I’m not real creative!) He is impressed that I remember what he had written on the card.
