#623 – 10 Ways to Buy Less Clothing

#623 – 10 Ways to Buy Less Clothing

623 10 Ways to Buy Less Clothing

Feeling overwhelmed with your clothing budget and need some help?

In this episode, Kathi Lipp and her co-host Tonya Kubo provide busy women with practical strategies to curb clothing purchases while still loving your wardrobe. With 10 doable tips, listen how they: 

  • Use Pinterest for clothes you already own
  • Create a capsule wardrobe
  • Take advantage of a personal uniform

Whether you’re a mom managing ever-changing clothing needs for kids or a woman who wants to balance style and space, this episode provides the encouragement and tactics you need. Join Kathi and Tonya as they discuss real-life ways to shop smarter and use what you own.

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The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.

For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

  • Prepare before the need arises
  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

Links Mentioned:

Rit Dye

Shout Color Catchers

Hate Stains (Kathi’s favorite stain remove)

Clutter Free Resources:

What things can you do to help you save during “No Buy July?”

Share them the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript
Kathi (00:00)
Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter -Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps every day to have less clutter and more life. And I am back with Tonya Kubo, and I’m not even joking, guys, this is our fourth time trying to record this episode. We really want you to have this information but apparently there are forces that do not want you to. And this isn’t about shame or guilt or fear. This is about buying less clothing. So I think it’s big clothing that is really messing with this podcast, Tonya Well, welcome back for the fourth time.

Tonya Kubo (00:33)
Ha ha!

Thanks for having me yet again!

Kathi (00:43)
Yet again, so guys, it’s so interesting. So we’re diving into this this coming month. We want you to have normally we’re talking about how to get stuff out of your house. But this a lot of our episodes a lot of our content this month is about bringing less stuff into your home. And so we’ve talked about that with food. I feel like clothing for us cluttery friends is one of those things where it’s very easy to Buy more than maybe we even love use or would buy again and Tanya you and I have talked about this before I would not consider you necessarily a clothes horse You always look cute. You just went to a wedding where you looked adorable You you you’ve had so many celebrations this month and you always look great

Tonya Kubo (01:35)
haha

Kathi (01:41)
I want to approach this from somebody who does probably, I like to buy clothes. Like that’s my thing. And since my body size has changed a lot over the past year, I’ve been buying more clothes. But you have two girls who are very into clothes for very different reasons. You’ve got Lily.

Tonya Kubo (01:49)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (02:08)
the the recycler, the upcycler, the she likes to buy from what am I trying to say there’s a word for she’s a thrifter that’s the word I’m looking for

Tonya Kubo (02:20)
Yes, Lily enjoys thrifting.

Kathi (02:24)
And then we have Abby who likes bright shiny things. Is this an accurate description of our two girls here?

Tonya Kubo (02:30)
Yes, yes, I would say so Lily wants nothing that is brand new or comes from a traditional store. Like she only wants thrift stuff and she will not set foot in a store unless she specifically needs an item.

Kathi (02:38)
Mm -hmm.

that’s really interesting. And then Abby, if she could have a brand new piece of clothing every single day, I’m sure that that would not be a problem for her.

Tonya Kubo (02:54)
That would actually not be enough. If she could have five new outfits a day, that might come close to meeting her needs.

Kathi (02:57)
Yeah.

I’ll never forget the first time she was really here at the Red House with us. And there were costume changes at least five times the first day she was here. There was an eating outfit. There was an outdoor outfit. There was a pre -bath outfit. There was an after bath outfit. So, but.

Tonya Kubo (03:14)
Yeah, we’re down to about three now. Three a day.

Hahaha

Kathi (03:28)
I do love clothes. I love them as an expression of who I am. And I do think that because I work full time and I’m on camera a lot, that there are, you know, I would like to have certain clothes and I would like to have those clothes be a reflection of who I am. So I also know though, that I can buy clothes mindlessly if I’m not intentional. And I’m really working on being intentional this year. So we have 10 ideas for about bringing less clothing into your life, but still getting to be the expressive person you are. So I’m going to start. And this is something that I’ve been doing that I feel like is really helping with my creative expression. And that is using Pinterest and other programs to put together outfits with clothes I already own. So.

Tonya Kubo (04:24)
Mmm.

Kathi (04:26)
I have clothes that work for me and I like to research. I would say that I’m probably a little bit more on the, well, I want to be on the boho artistic side of clothing. And so I don’t like things that are super fitted. I would like the clothing to be away from my body.

Tonya Kubo (04:42)
Mmm.

Hmm.

Kathi (04:51)
I also like to have things that are a little weird a little funky not always you know I’ve got my go -to stuff, but I like more of like buckle or Eileen Fisher those kind of things then You know I am definitely not preppy or anything like that and so I like to go on to Pinterest and Also, I am now considered midsize. Which means from probably like a 12 to an 18 size which Sometimes can fit into traditional clothing sizes, but sometimes fits in the plus size. It’s no man’s land it is hard out here for the midsize and Because things feel too small or too big it’s very hard to find exactly what I need So I like using Pinterest to kind of figure out how to put together things that I already have because it’s easier to

Tonya Kubo (05:20)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (05:50)
to put together outfits from things I already have than to go try to find something that fits, that doesn’t need to be altered. I would rather just stick to the clothes that I have and make sure that those work. And I already know I feel comfortable in them. I have certain pieces of clothing that I wanna wear till Jesus comes back. They just make me feel good. So I would rather find new ways to put those together with the jewelry I have, with…

Tonya Kubo (06:11)
Yeah

Kathi (06:18)
You know, and yes, I will buy something new every once in a while, but I want to use what I have instead of bringing new things into my life. Okay, number two, Tanya.

Tonya Kubo (06:31)
Yeah. So for number two, you know, I love how you’re talking about using more of what you have for me with two girls whose body sizes are constantly changing because they are not yet grown up. And then with me, what I have found is it is very easy to lose track of who has what, right? And so I think it’s really important to go through your closet and

Kathi (06:42)
Yeah.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (06:59)
take a really good inventory. I mean, if this is for yourself, you can take a very specific inventory. For kids, it’s a little hard because you actually never know where all their clothes are. Some might be in the car, some might be in the wash, but really looking for what are the true gaps? Because it’s one thing to be like, gosh, I wish I had a white sweater. And it’s a whole other thing to actually need a white sweater. So I think it’s important to go through,

Kathi (07:10)
Yeah.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (07:27)
everything at least twice a year and check everything from socks to underwear to outerwear and anything in between. And then make a list of the specific items you feel like you need to buy. And then I think prioritize that list according to season and need. So for us, you just mentioned we had a bunch of special occasions. Our girls don’t have dressy attire, right? They’re just kind of heading toward the end of the year. We knew they needed outfits for graduation. We also knew that I, as a mom, did not need a special outfit for graduation, but we all needed different outfits for the weddings that we’ve recently attended because one wedding was super formal, the other weddings were very casual. And it’s so nice when you can go in with an inventory and actually specifically decide, these are the gaps to fill. These are how many items I need to fill each gap.

Kathi (08:13)
Hmm.

Yeah, and I think being thoughtful about those things in advance, so you’re not panic buying, you’re not ordering a bunch of stuff online and praying that something works. I know I had an event that I needed something altered for, and it took me forever to find what I was looking for.

Tonya Kubo (08:38)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (08:50)
and I had to have a panic alteration and now I have found the alteration person. I’m so grateful. it makes a huge, right? My person is, she works out of her house. She’s very professional. She has a studio in her house, but like right now I’m kind of saving up things to take her all at once and God bless her. God bless her because now I have,

Tonya Kubo (08:55)
Same! I’ve been searching for years and finally found someone.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:20)
the pants that will work and the shirt. I don’t wanna panic buy anymore. And what you just talked about, identifying gaps in your wardrobe and saying, hey, do we have special occasions coming up or do we have special needs? I do an annual trip to Mexico with Encourage. And I know about that trip long in advance, but it’s hard to find things in March that…

Tonya Kubo (09:23)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:46)
are good for Mexico in April. So like, I just have to think about those things in advance. Okay, number three, give yourself a yearly limit on new clothes purchases. Now for some people, this might be a hundred items. I do not live in that reality, but one year I did, okay, I’m only buying 12 things this year. Now I could not have done that last year because of my changing body, but I am highly considering this for the coming year.

Tonya Kubo (09:49)
true.

Kathi (10:16)
Because the things that when I did this it was like two or three years ago that I did this and I was in a different size body I still have all those pieces. I’ve had them altered. I Because I love them so much. There was no panic buying there was no You know like this will be fine or maybe this would be good. No like those 12 items. It was once a month

Tonya Kubo (10:27)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:45)
Those are things that I love, continue to use and I would buy again. So I bought really long lasting pieces, things that I invested in. Now I will say these were more expensive pieces. These were things that it was like, yes, I wanna have this. But I know me, I am a compromiser. Like I want that hit, I wanna.

Tonya Kubo (11:04)
Mm.

Kathi (11:14)
buy something and I want to feel good in it. And when I buy those kind of compromised pieces, they don’t last. And so giving yourself a limit of what you can buy makes it so you’re more thoughtful, you’re probably saving up for those things and you’ll probably wear them longer and love them more. So I don’t know, you know, something to consider. You can’t really do that with kids

Tonya Kubo (11:41)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (11:44)
I get that because when their bodies change, you have to change with them. But.

Tonya Kubo (11:49)
Yes. And well, and I think it’s one of those things is everybody can come up with their own variation. So something we did that’s similar, if I can just jump in here, is I grew up in an environment where you went clothing shopping twice a year, right? Beginning of the fall semester, beginning of the spring semester. And what we found is that actually makes zero logical sense for us because our girls go through growth spurts at odd times.

Kathi (11:56)
Yeah.

Please.

Yes.

Yes.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (12:18)
You know, we had a situation where we did the school shopping thing in August and in October, Abby’s shoes were too tight. And when we took her to the store, we left with shoes that were three sizes bigger than the shoes we walked into the store with. Now, if I had bought her, you know, two pairs of shoes or three pairs of shoes in August, that would have been barely worn shoes that were in the donate pile. So what we do is we’re like, OK, how would.

Kathi (12:31)
Wow.

Yeah. Right.

Tonya Kubo (12:46)
exactly do we need right now to fill this gap? And then we just know that we may be back at the store buying a couple more shirts, a couple more pairs of pants, who knows what, in a couple of months. So I think that’s the other piece is maybe just limiting how much you buy at any one visit, especially if you’re shopping for people who are on growth spurts or have a growth spurt coming.

Kathi (13:00)
Yes, I think so.

I love it. Yep, exactly. You know, you have to work for what, you know, and when we were growing up, you would go to the big city to buy those clothes. And that’s not really how people live anymore. I mean, some of us do, but for the most part. Okay, number four, Tanya.

Tonya Kubo (13:19)
Mm -hmm.

So this is another great one for kids, but it’s also a great one if you are someone whose wardrobe is nearing the capacity of the space you have to store your clothing. So whether that’s dressers or closets or whatever, which is implementing a one in one out policy, right? For every new item you buy, donate or sell an existing item. You know, only like when you’re at the store, be thinking what item do I have at home that this item replaces?

Kathi (13:50)
Yes.

Tonya Kubo (13:57)
if it’s not filling a gap that you’ve already identified. And I feel like this has done a great job of teaching my girls how to manage the ebb and flow of stuff into their own spaces. So that’s sort of my thought. Like, I don’t know, maybe I’m overly romantic, but I just feel like it’s a great way without shame or judgment to teach clutter -free principles to younger people.

Kathi (14:14)
Yes, I, I, I.

Tonya, can I tell you how I have implemented this in two very practical ways? One, I have a clothes hamper for things I’m gonna donate. So those go into the clothes hamper, once they’ve been washed, they go into that clothes hamper, and when that’s full, I take it to our local donation center. Also, I have a set number of hangers, and everybody can determine their number of hangers. But if my drawers are not closing,

Tonya Kubo (14:41)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:56)
Or I don’t, I’ve run out of hangers, it means I have too many clothes. And that I need to go and curate that wardrobe. Okay, number five. Wait before you buy. So you might, if you are an impulse shopper, and I would say I lean towards that. I know a lot of people struggle with it way more than I do, but I do lean towards it. I would say,

Tonya Kubo (15:01)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (15:24)
Can you give yourself a seven day waiting period? If it’s not on sale, consider ordering that item to try on at home. Maybe to say, hey, I’m gonna try this on at home. I have a hard time trying things on like in dressing rooms. I don’t know why. If you do.

Tonya Kubo (15:35)
Mm -hmm.

Because you get sweaty and gross as somebody who spent some time in the dressing room last week, I will just tell you, ew.

Kathi (15:51)
Yes, yes, I don’t like it and especially with buying jeans. Can I just say buying jeans? I found some jeans at Target that worked for me and I ordered two more pairs because I’m like if I don’t have to try on jeans for another year, year and a half, that’s a good thing. It’s a really good thing. Keep the tags on until you actually wear it. In case you want to return it if you’re just not feeling it.

Tonya Kubo (16:08)
It’s a good life.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (16:19)
Then it’s okay to return that and be a good returner. That’s the thing I think that’s the most important thing. I only buy from places that are really good about returns Nordstrom is really good about returns Old Navy is really good about returns Target is really good about returns Macy’s I have found is not so I don’t buy from them anymore I have to know that it’s I need to not be shamed during a return

Tonya Kubo (16:23)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

You

Kathi (16:48)
And I have never had an ounce of shame from Nordstrom Target or Old Navy. They’ve been like, yeah, bring it back, it’s fine. And now I have bought things on clearance that I could no longer return. And I’m like, you know, somebody is going to love this. Okay, Tonya, we’re gonna take a break. We’re gonna go get this podcast paid for. And then we come back, you’re gonna talk about a capsule wardrobe. And I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on that. So.

Tonya Kubo (17:00)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (17:17)
We’re gonna go and come right back. Okay, we are back. Number six, Tonya, of how to buy less clothing.

Tonya Kubo (17:24)
Yay! Bring in the tip from the person who’s probably like the least proactive in handing out wardrobe advice. But I have to say that as somebody who doesn’t do a lot of clothes shopping, as somebody who just doesn’t enjoy like this whole experience of dressing myself, having items that easily mix and match.

Kathi (17:32)
No!

Tonya Kubo (17:49)
has been a game changer for me. And there’s two reasons. I live in a tiny house, right? Okay, not the official tiny home, but I live in a smaller home. We have two closets in this house. And so I need my clothes to take up as little space as possible. So I love having just a few pieces that work together, whether that is, you know, I know some people really like tank, like shells, right? So like little dressy tanks that you can pair with a bunch of different cardigans or a couple of cardigans for different looks. Same thing with short sleeve shirts or long sleeve shirts. I know some people like to dress things up with a vest, but for me, it’s really about finding fewer pieces. And this goes back to what you were saying earlier. They do, I find, need to be well -made. If you want to embrace the capsule wardrobe, these need to be pieces that can stand up to being worn three to five times in a week which in fast fashion, a lot of times those clothes are made thinking you’re gonna wear them maybe once a month. So you wanna be able to have clothes that can actually stand up to regular wear, which means they’re also standing up to regular washing and drying or hanging to dry and really looking at what are the pieces that just feel like you, that you’re okay wearing frequently. I’m a fan of color schemes, so I wear a lot of black and white with a little bit, like my favorite color is purple.

Kathi (18:46)
Yeah. Right.

Tonya Kubo (19:12)
I like to wear purples in varying tones. I don’t enjoy lavender, but like bright deep tones. I like magenta’s, any shade in the purple family, any shade in the pink family. I don’t do a lot of green. I don’t do a lot of blue, but I find that I get enough variety in just having black, white, a little bit of gray, some purple, some pink, and I’m happy.

Kathi (19:32)
Yeah, you know, and I think that that’s a really good point. You can go onto Pinterest and you can find color schemes that you can use and you can say, no, these are Kathi colors. And I was just at Moose’s oncologist and you know, I hate going there because of why we have to go there, but it is the most warm and loving.

Tonya Kubo (19:46)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (20:00)
Human being collection you will ever find and we just love those people and Ashley who is the receptionist every time I go in there she’s like I I love Your colors. I love what you wear. And so I I dress up for Ashley now I really do because she just makes me feel so good. What’d you say Tonya? Right and

Tonya Kubo (20:18)
dress up for somebody. I said you gotta dress up for somebody why not Ashley?

Kathi (20:26)
You know she goes you always wear these warm tones And it just makes me feel like you are so loving and approachable and she goes and I know you are loving it approach and I’m like, okay colors Can make us feel a certain way and so find the colors that make you feel that certain way I think that’s really really important. Okay number seven We’ve already talked a little bit about this but repair or alter clothing you already own. I have a pair of Jag pants

Tonya Kubo (20:39)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (20:55)
These are they’re like cargo pants. I’ve had them I’m not exaggerating for at least 15 years and If you turn them inside out there you can see the history of these clothing They’ve been taken in a couple of times my mom offered to take them in one more time and then they have patches on the inside of them where I was developing whole

Tonya Kubo (21:03)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (21:19)
I love these pants so much. I love them. Like if I could have one piece of clothing that’s like these are the most Kathi clothing, these are my favorite. But like Tanya and I find that alterations person that you’re just like, okay, they can perform miracles and they can do it when you need them to do it. I’ve got my person, she’s in Roseville. So it’s a bit of a hike. But we have to go to Roseville anyway because that’s where Moose has her oncology appointments. And I can take my things there and she has a room for me to change in and she pins it and she will have it done the next day. Now I don’t come back at least for a week, but it’s done. It’s done. And alterations are not cheap, but factor that into the purchase of the clothing, especially if you’re short. I’m not

Tonya Kubo (21:50)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (22:13)
short but I’m 5 ‘6 which is an inch taller than the average woman in the United States and I still have to have all my pants altered so I just factor that in now but you have found your person I have found my person it’s like finding that hairstylist isn’t it Tonya?

Tonya Kubo (22:20)
Mm -hmm.

Right, well and to your point, it’s if you can find your person who does alterations and have them be your person, then you will over time learn how much certain repairs cost to factor those into the purchase. Right, like we just took Lily’s graduation dress in, we just needed the straps to be shortened a little bit, that was $10. I found out during that same visit that having your pants hemmed,

Kathi (22:44)
Yes. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (22:58)
is $10. Having a seam repair is $8. So now I know if something happens to a shirt of mine or whatever, it’s like, okay, do I want to pay $8 to have the seam repaired or not? Right? And I think that can be so helpful versus going, my gosh, my favorite shirt just tore. It is irreplaceable. It is irreparable. Now I have to go buy a new shirt because I don’t know about you, Kathi but before I under like before I had,

Kathi (22:59)
Wow.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (23:28)
tailors to work with, I would just assume, well, it’s cheaper to buy a new shirt.

Kathi (23:33)
Right. And we don’t want to be wasteful like that. Yes, absolutely.

Tonya Kubo (23:36)
And sometimes, don’t get me wrong, it is cheaper to buy a new thing. But not always.

Kathi (23:41)
Yes, but is it better? That’s the question. Is it better to buy a new thing? Okay, number eight, Tanya. We’re gonna blow through these.

Tonya Kubo (23:45)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah, so this is a big one, right? Which is unsubscribe from the emails that tempt you to do more shopping. Right? Like I, some people have better self -control than others, right? You can get hit every single day with a Kohl’s ad and never open that ad. Yay for you. Other people need to open it each time because there might be something here that I can’t live without that wasn’t in yesterday’s email.

Kathi (24:00)
Hmm, it’s so true.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (24:20)
So if you are that person who really just can’t not open them, then unsubscribe and trust that when you’re ready to go to that store again, you can subscribe again and usually you will get the first time customer deal, whatever that deal is. So you don’t have to worry about, there’s some great deal that I’m going to miss. The other thing that you can do if you really do feel like you want to stay on that email list because of something that may happen down the line and you want to know what they’re offering, use your email filters. Every email service provider has a filter. I just actually, I’ve been doing this, Kathi, you would be so proud of me, 20 minutes a day. I’ve been spending 20 minutes a day. I just go through the emails I’m getting and I just set up filters. And so now I have filters set up in my inbox, as of today, by the way. I have a whole shopping folder.

Kathi (25:02)
What?

Wow.

Tonya Kubo (25:16)
And then I have one that’s for under shopping. I’ve got one for groceries, one for restaurants, and one for like miscellaneous stuff, which was really the clothing shops. And I have it set now. It bypasses my inbox. So it instantly archives the email and it puts it in this folder. I never see it.

Kathi (25:35)
That is amazing. That is amazing. I do it a little differently. I have a totally different email for all those things. And so if I’m looking for it, I can go get it. Like this, we’re recording this the week of my birthday and there are all these like discounts and free little offers and things like that. Like, you know, I’m going to be jamming through all that stuff. And I, but it doesn’t tempt me in my regular email. And that’s a beautiful thing. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (25:42)
Mm -hmm.

Right.

Mm -hmm.

Yes.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (26:05)
Number nine, this is the question I ask myself. Will I wear this 30 times? I don’t know why I came up with the number 30, but will I wear this 30 times? And if the answer is no, then why am I buying it? Or if I’m trying to justify when I could wear this 30 times. Now, there are certain exceptions. Some dress clothes, I probably will not wear 30 times, but if it’s something that it’s like it’s for a special occasion that kind of thing I’m okay if it’s less but could I wear this to a wedding on a cruise? To church could I have it altered to wear a different way? I think it’s just an interesting question and number 10 Tonya

Tonya Kubo (26:56)
Yeah, so number 10, I feel like is how I live my life, which is create a personal uniform with a few key pieces you love. So I already talked about this a little bit in that, you know, I like black, white with a splash of purple or pink in it. And that makes a lot of sense for me. It works for my lifestyle. What it also does is it ensures that almost anything I pull out of the closet will go with whatever I’m wearing.

Kathi (27:05)
Yes. Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (27:26)
I discovered recently that, you know, I had a couple of things that were printed. I don’t usually wear a lot of prints. I’ll wear usually solid colors, but I had a couple of things that were printed and it was like, you know, trying to put a cardigan over it, but the cardigan hit like the wrong part of the print. And I was just like, I do not need printed things. Right. And most of these were just because of the way that the graphic was, but I would just say a personal uniform. Like for me,

Kathi (27:26)
Yes.

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (27:54)
I know Monday through Friday, I am going to be wearing jeans because I almost never leave the house except if I’m taking kids to school or from, but I’m going to wear jeans. And if I’m recording, I’m going to wear a nicer top. And if I’m not recording, I’m going to wear a t -shirt. And it takes me like six minutes to get ready in the morning because I have that personal uniform, but it also,

Kathi (28:10)
Yep, there you go.

Tonya Kubo (28:19)
And Kathi, I want you to talk a little bit about this, because I feel like you are somebody who has actually taught on this more than I ever have, is I’m actually more productive because I haven’t wasted valuable energy making those decisions first thing in the morning.

Kathi (28:33)
Yeah, you know, I have to decide the night before what I’m wearing or the week before. You know, I put that all out because in the morning I need to hit the ground running like you do. I need to know what I’m wearing because I need to know what my day is going to consist of. So, you know, almost every day I’m recording something like we are today. And so I’ve got a cute top on. I’ve got some pants on.

Tonya Kubo (28:36)
Yeah.

Kathi (29:02)
Now, there are days where I’m going to be cooking all day because, you know, I’ve got a cookbook coming out and that’s probably going to be more of a yoga pant jean kind of, you know, situation. And so knowing what my day is going to be and I love the concept. Somebody told me this like 20 years ago and I love this. Getting dressed to the shoes. So looking what your day is going to be like.

Tonya Kubo (29:28)
Hmm.

Kathi (29:31)
not flopping around in slippers and then having to figure it out all day. Like I’ve got indoor shoes. I’ve got indoor shoes that I wear to keep my, you know, to not track the outside in. I learned that deeply when we had chickens and it just makes a lot of sense. Tonya, I’m gonna give a bonus. This is 11, but we didn’t really do 11.

Tonya Kubo (29:50)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (29:58)
This is gonna be a weird one, but I think it’s really it’s been something I’ve been doing a lot lately dying my clothes Some okay

Tonya Kubo (30:07)
I need to hear more. No, no, we did not talk about this, so you’re gonna have to dig a little deeper and hear from me.

Kathi (30:12)
Yes, so I have some clothing that I love, but maybe it’s gotten a stain on it. Or we have a friend of the podcast who sent me a lovely shirt for that chicken themed shirt. It’s a bright pink. Now, I realized I was not wearing it. Redheads and pink don’t always go great together. Just not going to lie.

Tonya Kubo (30:39)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (30:41)
So what I have done is I bought some Rit fabric dye and I have some bonder. It’s like a bonding agent that you do with the Rit dye. And you have to, when you’re dyeing, ask me how I know this, you need a big pot so that the clothes are not like on top of each other. You want them to be kind of loose in the pot.

Tonya Kubo (30:46)
Mm -hmm.

Hmm.

Kathi (31:10)
And I tend to dye things a navy blue, because that’s a color I like to wear. But any rich color, like a forest green or a navy blue or a deep purple could probably work for this. I don’t tend to go lighter in my dyeing. I’m not that skilled. But like I said, a forest green, a dark purple, a red would be really good.

Tonya Kubo (31:19)
Mm -hmm.

Got it.

Kathi (31:39)
any of those darker or deeper colors and then I I dye the clothes and then I wash the clothes and When I wash the clothes again just the first time Shout has these things called color catchers that Yes, and so my mom’s a quilts artist. She uses those quite often and so those color catchers catch the color you know the first time you wash them

Tonya Kubo (31:58)
Yes, I’ve seen those.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (32:09)
But I have saved a lot of clothing that I really, really love by dyeing it a navy. And I’m not re -buying the clothes, I’m buying the dye, which I usually buy at Joann’s and I wait till I have a coupon and things like that. But I’ve saved a lot of sweatshirts, a lot of t -shirts, pants, because I have dyed them a navy blue.

Tonya Kubo (32:17)
Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

Okay, so now I have to ask a question. This is of course on behalf of the listeners. I have no personal stake in the answer to this question. But how, right, how does that work with like stained clothing? Like if you have grease stains on something, would dyeing fix that or no?

Kathi (32:40)
Of course, you’re in service to them.

Yeah. So I try to get out as much of the stain as possible. I use, now I can’t remember the name of the stain remover I use, but I will find it and I will post it. And it’s a special formulation that really gets a lot of stains out. As long as this can be as light as possible, I feel, and here’s the thing. I dye dangerously. Like if I dye something and it doesn’t come out how I would like it to, I’m okay with that because I was probably gonna pitch that piece of clothing anyway. So I get as much of the stain out as I possibly can and then I die dangerously and I would say 19 times out of 20 I have saved that piece of clothing. And yeah, so I’m glad you like that. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (33:18)
Hahaha.

Mm -hmm. Got it.

Nice.

Kathi (33:46)
Tanya, we are doing something interesting in the month of July in Clutter Free Academy. Can you talk a little bit about this?

Tonya Kubo (33:52)
We are.

Yeah, so each July we typically do this challenge in Clutter Free Academy, which is our free Facebook group. We also do it in our paid membership program, Clutter Free for Life, which is a no buy July, right? Where our goal is to not have any discretionary spending. However, this year we’re doing things a little bit differently in that we are having a low buy July challenge. And the reason we’re doing a low buy July challenge is for a couple of reasons. First of all. We love our cluttery people. Our cluttery people want so desperately to be A++ students in everything that we host, because they are such super fans of all things clutter free and clutter free for life. And the problem is, is our members would get really upset if they had something unexpected happen. For instance, the refrigerator would die, the washing machine died, and they’d say, I failed the challenge because I had to go buy a new washer. And what you realize, Kathi, so credit goes to Kathi, send all your kudos and compliments via email to her.

Kathi (35:01)
complaints, we’re fine with that too.

Tonya Kubo (35:03)
Yeah, usually I take the complaints. You can have the compliments, but Kathi’s, you know, pointed out that it kind of shifted the focus away from where it really needs to be. The goal here is to minimize the amount of clutter coming into your home by minimizing impulse buying and reducing the amount of discretionary spending we do because we know that costs are going up all the time. So a low buy July isn’t so much about

Kathi (35:05)
Yeah

Tonya Kubo (35:30)
what you do or don’t buy. It’s really about the intention that goes into each buying decision in the month of July. And I think Kathi, you are the one who said, like, this is the kind of principle that can get carried on throughout the year. It doesn’t live and die in the month of July each year.

Kathi (35:50)
I will tell you, Tanya, we’ve done this no buy July a couple of times, now we’re doing low buy July, and I am amazed how starting in July, we buy almost nothing from Amazon. It’s amazing. And August, September, October, we buy almost nothing from Amazon. And then starting in, you know, January, February, we start to buy more from, well, December really, because of Christmas and stuff like that. But it really does change our habits. Now it changes our habits for about six months and then we start to fall back into old habits. But we’re getting better and better every year. And let me give you an idea of how I think low buy versus no buy can really set us free.

Tonya Kubo (36:29)
Right.

Kathi (36:43)
You know, we just talked about dyeing our clothes, right? by the way, also black. If you like to wear black, black is a great color to dye your clothes. Yeah, there you go, there you go. But in a low buy July, one of the activities I would love to see you do is buy the dye so that you could save the clothes.

Tonya Kubo (36:46)
Mm -hmm.

I was thinking I’m just gonna dye everything black.

oooo

Kathi (37:11)
Do you see what I’m saying? Like that small purchase, you know, you’re not buying clothes in July, I’m hoping, you know, or you’re buying just a couple of things. But what’s a great activity to save some of those clothes or to keep you from buying new black cargo pants, new black t -shirts, you dye the stuff you already have. You know, if you have a bunch of eggs at your house and instead of,

Tonya Kubo (37:29)
Mm.

Kathi (37:41)
buying the angel food cake, you say, I’m gonna make it, but you don’t have the cake flour? I’d love for you to go buy the cake flour so that you can learn this new skill and you can make your own angel food cake. Those are the kind of things that I would love for you to see you incorporate into a low buy July. So you have these new skills that will carry you forward.

into not wasting food, into not buying clothes. That’s the kind of ingenuity and coolness I want to see in a low buy July

Tonya Kubo (38:18)
Right, and what I’m really looking forward to, and I hope if you are listening and you’re not in the Clutter Free Academy Facebook group, I really hope you’ll join us this month because what I’m looking forward to is the creativity. We have some of the most creative, generous members you can possibly imagine. And I just know that this year with this difference in focus, they are going to knock our socks off with some of the ways that they choose to implement these principles.

Kathi (38:30)
Yes.

Guys, this was a super -sized episode, but I think we had some great conversations, and I hope you will join us over in the Clutter Free Academy Facebook group. We’ll put the link here in the notes, but if you just search for Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy, it’s free to join, and you’re gonna love the encouragement you’re gonna get this year. Tanya, thanks so much for being here.

Tonya Kubo (39:12)
Thanks for having me.

Kathi (39:13)
And friends, thank you for being here. You’ve been listening to Clutter Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

 

More Posts 

#622 The Frugal Foodie’s Playbook: Mastering Meal Planning and Smart Shopping

#622 The Frugal Foodie’s Playbook: Mastering Meal Planning and Smart Shopping

622 The Frugal Foodie’s Playbook: Mastering Meal Planning and Smart Shopping

Hey there, friends! Are you feeling the pinch of rising food costs?

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp, and Tonya Kubo tackle the timely issue of rising food costs and share practical tips to help listeners save money on groceries without sacrificing quality or taste. With their signature humor and relatable examples, Kathi and Tonya dive into strategies like meal planning, inventive use of leftovers, and tapping into community resources.

Listeners will discover:

  • How to create a pantry and fridge inventory to reduce food waste
  • The power of “loop meals” and repurposing leftovers
  • Tips for buying in bulk wisely

Whether you’re taking part in the Low Buy July challenge or simply looking to trim your grocery budget, this episode is packed with actionable advice and encouragement. Don’t miss out on these frugal food hacks that will help you nourish your family without breaking the bank!

Here are the 50 Breakfast and 50 Dinner Ideas mentioned in the episode.

Click here to be notified when the next episode of Clutter Free Academy is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

 

The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.

For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

  • Prepare before the need arises
  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

Links Mentioned:

Clutter Free Resources:

How do you reduce food waste or save money?

Share them the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript
Kathi (00:00)
Hey friends, welcome to clutter free Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life and I am here with the fabulous but exhausted Tonya Kubo. She was partying all weekend. She saw people get married there have been graduations I is this is this podcast the most relaxing thing you’ve done all week?

Tonya Kubo (00:24)
It most certainly is.

Kathi (00:28)
Yeah, I remember I canceled something on you on Monday. I’m like, I’m so sorry. So you’re like, thank you.

Tonya Kubo (00:31)
Yes! I was like, my gosh! I just got a whole hour back in my life.

Kathi (00:39)
I am currently not experiencing those kind of weeks, but I know they are yet to come because I have a book coming out in October. And with the the couple months before and the couple months after, it’s like, somebody canceled an appointment. You are my hero. And yeah, I want to sing like Mariah Carey. And yeah, it’s it’s. But, you know,

Tonya Kubo (00:44)
Ha.

Yeah.

Right.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Kathi (01:08)
not that we’re talking about that book, but we’re talking about some of the the feelings behind that book. That book is called Sabbath Soup and we are talking about food and if you turn on if you’re on social media at all, if you turn on the news, everybody is talking about the cost of food. It’s it’s I think in some.

Tonya Kubo (01:15)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (01:34)
Areas, it’s pretty much the same. Other areas, it feels insane. We are not at the egg crisis we were several months ago. And we still had chickens at that point and we’re very, very grateful for them. But you are not the primary shopper in your house, is that correct?

Tonya Kubo (01:37)
Mm -hmm. Right.

No, unless we’re shopping online. I will do all the shopping online, but usually Brian is the one who really likes to go to the grocery store because he likes to buy stuff. He doesn’t care what he buys. He just wants to buy the stuff.

Kathi (01:58)
Mmm.

isn’t that the, it’s such, it’s so true, right? Like I was telling somebody recently, like I get the same hit if I’m buying a dress at Nordstrom or a Costco chicken. Like I just like buying stuff, which I understand is my cluttery person like aching to get out.

Tonya Kubo (02:24)
Hahaha

Kathi (02:33)
And I have to tell you, I was so proud of Roger the other day because Roger is definitely like, he loves to buy convenience. He loves it. And the other day he was bringing home sandwiches. There were some circumstances and he was bringing home sandwiches. And he said, but we’ve got drinks and chips at home. And I’m like, my thrifty buddy. He goes, I’m learning. Cause I mean, you add drinks and chips to…

Tonya Kubo (02:41)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Kathi (03:02)
a sandwich order, that can be five or six dollars.

Tonya Kubo (03:04)
yeah. Mm hmm. yeah. No, there used to be a time when, you know, like iced tea, for instance, would be like a dollar cheaper than sodas. And now everything is $4 .50 or $5. Like each beverage is $4 .50 or $5 at the restaurants where we go.

Kathi (03:12)
Right? Yeah, nope.

Yeah, we rarely go to McDonald’s. I mean, rarely. But when we do, our order is always the same. It’s two Diet Cokes, an ice water, and a hamburger, a small hamburger patty, no salt. So half that order is for Moose because she gets the patty and the ice water. Ice water is her favorite treat. And she’s such a weird dog. And then we get the Diet Cokes because it’s…

Tonya Kubo (03:36)
Mmm.

Right?

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (03:50)
It can be $30 for us. And we’re not even talking about fast food today. We’re just talking about grocery shopping. And how can we keep the costs of all things groceries down? And you have kids. So let me just say that was not a cheap choice, Tonya Yeah, you’re going to need to.

Tonya Kubo (03:52)
Mm -hmm.

Right.

Mm -hmm.

No, it really wasn’t. It wasn’t. But I don’t think anybody has kids to save money. I don’t think that’s why you go into it.

Kathi (04:20)
I would love We’re gonna we’re gonna put our ideas here Tonya But when we do and you’re the queen of all things clutter free in the Facebook group I would love to get our our members ideas about this because we’re gonna share Approximately ten ideas on how you can save on your grocery budget, but I know the the the people in that group are

They’re geniuses. There is something about cluttery people and just the ways that they think differently that I just, I love and adore I love it so much.

Tonya Kubo (04:54)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

I agree, I agree. Well, and should we talk about what we’ve got going on in the group? Yeah, because I mean, part of why we’re talking about ways to buy less food today is because we’re doing things a little differently this year, is we are going into a challenge that’s in our Clutterfree Academy free Facebook group. Anybody can join that and also our Clutterfree for Life paid membership program. It’s a little crossover. We’re calling it Low Buy July.

Kathi (05:06)
Yeah, go for it. Tell us everything.

Yeah.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (05:31)
And let me tell you, so there’s two reasons we’re calling it Low Buy July. If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you remember that we oftentimes do No Buy July. There’s two problems with No Buy July. Problem number one is people have graduations and weddings and they think spending five cents automatically fails the challenge and they get very, very sad and very ashamed. Or they think they can’t replace their refrigerator that broke.

Right? And that’s not the intent of the challenge. The intent is really to minimize impulse purchases. But this year, Kathi you were the one who really pointed out that with the cost of things going up so high, people are not able to stock up like they once did. And so it’s unlikely that a lot of people have a full month’s worth of food in a freezer or in a pantry.

Kathi (06:15)
Mm -mm.

Right, right.

Tonya Kubo (06:23)
And so really we’re calling it low Buy July and we’re looking at how can we reduce our spending on all the things throughout the month. And I think food, at least in my family, Kathi, food is the highest percentage of our income outside of the mortgage. Like that, or I should say our expenses outside of the mortgage. That’s where we spend the most.

Kathi (06:26)
Mm -hmm.

Yes.

Of course, it makes total sense because you guys have four members in your family. You want them to be healthy people. And so, you know, you’re not just buying ramen for every meal because that is the cheapest way. And I know plenty of college kids who live that way. But we’re looking for a little bit higher quality of life than that. So we’re going to give you 10 tips.

Tonya Kubo (06:57)
Right.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (07:11)
That will not only reduce your grocery budget, but just keep you you It’s buying less food. That’s maybe it’s not consuming less food, but it’s it’s buying less food and I’m gonna give you my number one and Because I am the queen of buying what we already have and there’s a so for me having a day each week to clean out the fridge and just kind of

Tonya Kubo (07:18)
Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

Kathi (07:40)
Laying eyes on and seeing what we have. There’s a great tick tocker. He has a whole song go to the store by Hoonans sauce come home. no, we had Hoonans sauce go to the store, but like he has Six and if I’m pronouncing that incorrectly, please forgive me, but he has six Hoonans sauces and it’s like it’s that thing that you don’t know if you have it for sure so I

Tonya Kubo (07:57)
Mm -hmm.

Mm.

Kathi (08:10)
You don’t want to run out. And Roger did this for years with baby food, even when his kids were like in school. Like he was so terrified of running out of something they needed. And so doing that inventory is so critical and helps you save from buying things you don’t need to. You know, like this week, I’ve got some baby potatoes that.

Tonya Kubo (08:29)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (08:38)
Need you know something needs to happen with them. I’ve got some mushrooms. I’ve got some chicken that needs to get cooked like that that inventory helps me plan the rest of my meals and keeps me from wasting food and so if you can kind of there are a couple of ways to do it you can pick meals and then see what you have and then go shopping or you can see what you have plan meals around that and then go shopping so

In Low Buy July, I’m really going to challenge people to see what they have and what can you make with that.

Tonya Kubo (09:15)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:17)
I think that that’s going to be the best way to do it. Okay, Tonya what is your next tip that? Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (09:24)
Well, I think if your first tip, I just have to jump in because I’m so excited. Because if the first tip is inventory, fridge, freezer, pantry, then, and you touched on this a little bit, then the second tip has to be meal planning. And I think you made a really good point is that some people like to see what’s on sale and meal plan based on sales and then see what they have and then make their grocery list.

Kathi (09:33)
Mm -hmm.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (09:54)
I actually like to see what I have, just like you do, and meal plan based on what I have, because regardless of what’s on sale, I want to spend as little at the grocery store as possible. So if I can get away with just buying four things at the grocery store, and yes, please, I’ll pause for a moment so everybody can laugh, because no family of four ever gets to buy four things at the grocery store. But if I can get away…

Kathi (09:57)
Yes?

Right.

Tonya Kubo (10:19)
this week with just buying four things and then turning around and buying my normal 25 items next week, awesome. I think I’m so much further ahead than if I am consistently telling myself I have to have a big long shopping list every time I go to the store.

Kathi (10:35)
It’s so true, you know, and we have to figure out there are times when there may be nothing in the fridge and that’s okay. We can still figure out exactly, we can take that inventory, we can say, okay, you know what, I need to restock. There is no point in trying to build on this.

You know, you can’t build on celery and turnips. Like, that’s going to be the saddest soup ever. But I want you to say, okay, is there something in the freezer? Is there something I can defrost? Is there something that I can do in order to make this work so I am not having to buy everything all the time? Because I know that we can, it’s so frustrating to go buy the chicken and see the chicken in your…

Tonya Kubo (11:00)
Mm -hmm.

Right.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (11:30)
in your fridge or to sit and I don’t want you to have this giant back stock of freezer food so that you are not able to buy stuff. You know, it’s so I’ve done this so many times. I’m sorry, I’m getting tongue tied here, but like I’ll come home with stuff for the freezer because I don’t know what I have. And then I’m adding things to the freezer that I don’t actually need.

Tonya Kubo (11:40)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:00)
I run out of room in the freezer. It’s just, it’s a vicious cycle that I want to end and I wanna be smarter about. And I will say, I am so much better than I used to be, but it’s still something that I need to be cognizant of because when I feel like I’m running out of time, that’s where I get into trouble. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (12:05)
Mm -hmm.

Right. Well, anytime we feel desperate, I think, is problematic.

Kathi (12:28)
Yes, and I think especially when we’re running out of time or energy, that’s when we feel like, okay, I just need to make something happen. Okay, so number three, we’re getting into the planning space again, because I think planning is a big part of this. And so some people meal plan, like one of the things that’s been very helpful,

We’ll get this resource together because I know people have begged us for it. It was, I can’t remember if it was 30 or 50, but it was Meal Time Ideas.

Tonya Kubo (13:07)
Yes, yes, we have a breakfast one and a dinner one.

Kathi (13:11)
And I don’t know why we don’t have a lunch one, but you know what, maybe that is to come. But here’s the thing, I know when I sit down to meal plan, I can’t remember anything I’ve ever made at any point in my life ever. And I can’t think of a meal, I can’t think of an idea. And this is, this isn’t, you should make these 50 meals, otherwise you’re not a good cook. This is, check out these meals.

Tonya Kubo (13:39)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (13:39)
maybe they’ll springboard some ideas for you. So Tonya I know we have a lot of, what are your go -to meal ideas?

Tonya Kubo (13:49)
yeah, so we’re pretty simple in this house. So go to Meal Ideas for us. You know, when in doubt, Brian will oftentimes just do like pasta and a meat sauce, like if that’s available. Personally, you know, I prefer just some kind of meat and rice. And the reason I prefer that is because I can take that whatever vegetable we decide to serve with it, that gets to be repurposed into fried rice. And my family will eat

Kathi (14:17)
Mmm.

Tonya Kubo (14:18)
just about anything in the form of fried rice. So you know that like overcooked steak or the overcooked chicken, the vegetables that everybody thought were too soggy, I just chopped those up really fine, throw them in, make some fried rice and everybody’s happy.

Kathi (14:23)
yes.

Mm -hmm.

I love that so much. Okay, number four, Tanya. This is one of my favorite. Tell us a little bit about loop meals in your house.

Tonya Kubo (14:47)
yes, well I didn’t know that they were called that until I picked up your book. Let me remember, I always call it Six Chicks Freeze and Fix, but that is not what it’s called. Thank you, thank you. Kathi you may know me for 10 more years and you will still have to remind me that that is the name of the book. Yeah, but the idea of, I mean it’s two things, right? It’s first of all, cooking.

Kathi (14:56)
Yeah, it’s called the What’s for Dinner solution.

I am here for it, don’t you worry.

Tonya Kubo (15:14)
with the intention of having leftovers that you can repurpose. But also what I have found is I’ve just gotten good at recognizing what I can make with leftovers, right? It’s like, you know, we use the classic example of the rotisserie chicken, but I mean, like I cook chicken, like a whole chicken in my Instant Pot all the time, is taking that and going, yeah, we can eat, you know, chicken and potatoes and veggies tonight for dinner, but that gets to be turned into…

chicken enchilada casserole or tacos or chicken quesadillas or like I mentioned before, fried rice, because everything gets turned into fried rice around here. But those sorts of ideas are so helpful and it’s even led me to just pre -cooking certain things, like always having, you know, maybe like a quart size freezer bag of chopped up cooked chicken or ground ground meat. Having that…

Kathi (15:49)
Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (16:09)
Because don’t you think thawing the raw meat and cooking it is one of the longest, most planning intensive aspects of cooking?

Kathi (16:16)
Yes, and you have to hit it just right. That’s how it feels like. Yeah. Okay, so you know how you plan for leftovers and your go -to is fried rice? Mine has become quiche.

Tonya Kubo (16:20)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

okay.

Kathi (16:34)
So just always having a store -bought pie crust in the freezer. And you just mix up some eggs, some milk, some seasoning. And I had some leftover spinach and some cheese and some bacon. And Roger says it is the best quiche he’s ever had. And.

Tonya Kubo (16:39)
Okay.

Mm -hmm.

So can I tell you Lily’s favorite thing on the quiche front that I recently did? So I had ground beef and I’d read something like Pinterest or whatever, right? So it was like ground beef. And then I took eggs, a little touch of cream, because we keep heavy cream in the house, and Parmesan cheese, mixed that all up, threw that in an eight by eight, baked it, like 350 for like 25 minutes. And Lily was like, this is the yummiest breakfast casserole ever.

Kathi (16:56)
Yes, do tell.

Nice.

There you go. We’re making miracles here for our family, Tonya Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (17:27)
I’m telling you Parmesan cheese, it’s like, it cures all the things.

Kathi (17:31)
Okay, we’re gonna come back. We’re gonna come to number five, which I’m really, really excited about. And when we do, we’re just gonna take a quick break. And then we’re gonna talk about something I’ve just started to do recently, that has been a game changer for us. So we’ll, I’ll tell you my secret when we come back. Okay, we are back. And we’re talking about how do you reduce the amount of food that you’re buying?

So number five for me is, I’m just gonna call it a vegetable chop. And in the summer, the vegetable chop for me is cucumbers, tomatoes, and red onions. And you may be like, okay, well how does that save money? It saves money because I use it all up. I use it all up, and I use it in a million different ways. I use it.

Tonya Kubo (18:06)
Mmm.

Mmm.

Kathi (18:26)
just as a salad just on its own like that. I’ll put some Italian dressing on it or balsamic dressing on it. Add in some salt and pepper, maybe a little bit of feta cheese. Delightful. The other day I took some of that that had been marinating already in that balsamic vinaigrette and I threw it on top of a salad and put some croutons, I put it on top of romaine lettuce and it was delightful.

I also use it as kind of a bruschetta. You know, you can can that on top of toasted bread. There are a million things you can do with it and it is delicious every time. Now in the winter, I do the same thing, but I do it with celery, carrots, and onions. And you know, that can go into a casserole after it’s been sauteed. There are a million things that can be done with it and it’s delicious.

Okay, Tanya, take us to number six.

Tonya Kubo (19:27)
All right, so I think number six, I believe it’s very important to own your privilege in things. And so number six probably works best if you have older kids in the house or if it’s all adults versus having littles. But my idea for spending less on food is having your on your own nights, right? So we call them like Y -O -Y -O, like yo -yo nights.

Kathi (19:56)
You’re on your own, baby.

Tonya Kubo (19:57)
Right. Because the thing is, is you get to decide what you want to have for dinner. Toddlers don’t always make great decisions that help to save money, but older kids do. And so I think this works out really well for those nights when you have like enough of something for one person or maybe like as a side to something else.

Kathi (20:19)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (20:22)
And so everybody gets to go through the fridge, look at the leftovers and just decide what they’re having and then fill in the gaps with whatever they want. Abbey loves to make her own lunchable, otherwise known as charcuterie, right? So she’ll do crackers, cheese and salami and some fruit and she’s super happy. Lily likes to have that too, but Lily’s also somebody who doesn’t mind eating leftover spaghetti and fried rice in the same plate.

Kathi (20:33)
Right?

Right, right. And you know, when my kids were younger, we did these with, they were plastic trays that looked like TV trays, like TV dinner trays. And yeah, you know, that’s tonight’s dinner for us is you’re on your own because we had a fig, fig jam and brie burgers last night that were delicious. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (20:54)
Okay. Yeah.

Yum. That’s the yummiest leftover ever.

Kathi (21:12)
Right. And so we still have one of the half of one of those burgers left. I’ve got some I made some macaroni salad. But my mom and I have leftovers from a restaurant we went to. So we’re just going to be we’re going to be you know, not every meal has to have, you know, a main a veg and a side like sometimes you can just say, Hey, I need a night off or it’s too hot to cook. Let’s

Let’s make some wise decisions here and use up what we have. And this has become very important to us since we don’t have chickens currently because we’re not throwing anything to them. So yes. OK, number seven. And here is a, there’s a big old asterisk next to this, but I just want to talk about buying in bulk. Now,

Tonya Kubo (21:44)
Mm -hmm. Exactly.

Kathi (22:06)
I will tell you, you know, Roger is to baby food as Kathi is to Costco. Why was I continuing to buy huge containers of things when it was just me and Roger? You know, so I’ve had to dial back on this, but there are still some things that we go through pretty regularly.

Tonya Kubo (22:12)
Okay.

Kathi (22:30)
One convenient, I’m just gonna call it a convenience food that we love, is these little bowls of rice that are pre -packaged. You just peel them off and you put them in the microwave, I think for 90 seconds and you’re good to go. Now, I could make a whole big batch of rice. I could, you know what? I’m gonna buy a little convenience and I’m okay with that.

Tonya Kubo (22:39)
Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (22:56)
We actually, you know, we go through a lot of flour at our house. We go through, I’m trying to think of the things we go through that we buy in large portions. And it’s okay. It’s okay that we do that. But don’t be buying things at Costco just because it’s a deal and then not use them.

Tonya Kubo (23:20)
Yes, I think that’s the important part. We do, I think we just get into these habits where we’re used to buying a certain amount of an item.

at a certain frequency and when something changes the frequency or even when we go on vacation for a week or two if we don’t manage the quantity in which we buy things start to back up really really fast.

Kathi (23:30)
Yes.

Yes.

Well, and let’s just also say the people in our family, you know, if only they would do the same thing this week that they did last week. Right? You know, last week they couldn’t eat enough bananas. This week, bananas are gross, mom.

Tonya Kubo (23:50)
truth.

Yes, yes, and we ruined their lives by buying bananas.

Kathi (24:02)
my goodness, isn’t that the truth? Okay, we’re closing in. Tonya number eight.

Tonya Kubo (24:10)
number eight is using an app to track your food expiration dates. And I know that this is something that you taught me about because I would never do this. I eat and cook things unless they smell funny or look funny.

Kathi (24:24)
Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (24:25)
because that’s the kind of house I grew up in. But of course, you know, Brian, he’s the king of the Serve Safe certificates. He does not want to eat anything if it’s like more than a day past its code and more than three days in the fridge. So the USDA, Kathi, and I don’t have it handy, so I’m hoping we can put this in the show notes, but the USDA has an app that will help you track expiration dates. And I think that prevents people from throwing food away.

Kathi (24:50)
It’s.

Tonya Kubo (24:56)
that they don’t need to throw away.

Kathi (24:58)
Yes, it’s so true. I, I, who’s the itchy trigger finger in your household? Is it? No, it’s Brian. Yeah, it’s totally Brian In my house. It’s Roger. Now, like, he wants to if the milk expires on June 10, he wants to throw it away on June 9, just to be sure. And I’m like, I will murder you in your sleep. Like,

Tonya Kubo (25:05)
Yeah, it’s totally bright.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah. Well, and the thing with milk is temperature affects milk so much. I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened up a jug of milk five days before the expiration date and it is sour and curdled and makes me want to move houses. And then there’s other times where it’s like four days past the date and it’s perfectly fine.

Kathi (25:40)
Right.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. You know, you can smell milk. It will let you know when it’s time to go. It will let you know. Yeah, it’s no, no, no, they they let you know right up front. Exactly. Okay, number nine, which is not a solution for everybody. But I do think it’s a solution for many of us is grow. If you’re not going to grow fruits or vegetables, which I totally understand, at

Tonya Kubo (25:52)
Milk and eggs will not trick you at all.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (26:13)
try growing your own herbs. You know, and it’s, they make it so convenient. It’s less expensive oftentimes to go buy that basil plant at Home Depot than it is to buy that little sprig of basil at the grocery store. And if you just put it in the pot and you pay attention to it maybe once a week, you’re gonna be good to go. And so I love…

growing my own herbs for basil, oregano, chives, green onions. Now we also do tomatoes and things like that, but it is so easy to grow those herbs. And if you forget about it, don’t go to the store and buy more herbs, go to Home Depot. It’s often gonna be cheaper for you to do that. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (27:06)
Mmm.

Kathi (27:10)
and Tanya, bring us home with number 10.

Tonya Kubo (27:12)
All right, so number 10 is one of those things where I feel like people have a stigma, Kathi. So I would like for us to destigmatize the use of public resources for saving food costs. So for instance, obviously, like there’s a food bank, right? So and people have a lot of opinions about food banks, but you would be surprised at how

Kathi (27:18)
Mm -hmm.

Let’s do it.

Yeah.

Right.

Lots of big feelings.

Tonya Kubo (27:40)
lenient the standards are for who qualifies to go to a food bank and who doesn’t. But beyond a food bank, we have this really cool thing in my town. And I know you’ve got some similar programs near where you’re at. But we have a community garden. They call it the People’s Garden. And there’s what they call the People’s Pantry and the People’s Fridge. So what these were. So you’ve got the community garden, you know, you donate so many hours per week to tending the garden and then you get a share.

Kathi (27:56)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (28:10)
of what is produced in that garden. But anybody who has extra stuff in their home, extra rice, extra dried beans, you can then donate it to the people’s pantry or the people’s fridge if it’s perishable, say eggs for instance. And then anybody can go there and just grab, there’s no sign in, sign out or anything, you just open the fridge. If there’s some stuff in there that you would use, you get to just take that home with you, the same with the pantry. But it’s this amazing collaborative sort of cooperative environment.

Kathi (28:22)
Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (28:38)
that really helps a lot of folks just make it to the end of the month or make it when there’s a little bit more month than money.

Kathi (28:45)
You know, and I want to talk about this from both sides because I have lived on both sides of this where we have donated a lot to food pantries. We do it through our church pretty regularly, especially they want canned tomatoes, you know, whether whatever kind of variation of canned tomatoes. I’m like, I can always give up some of my canned tomatoes. But I was on the other side of this where I was a single mom living below the poverty line.

Tonya Kubo (29:03)
Yeah.

Kathi (29:14)
Why did I not take advantage of this? I think it was embarrassment, it was shame. And today, if I needed to, I would 100 % take advantage of that. I feel it’s a lot like when I go to my mom’s house and they have extra figs Like, you know.

Tonya Kubo (29:33)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (29:34)
I’m going to take the figs because otherwise it’s going to go bad. Now we don’t currently participate in shopping at a food pantry, but it would be my first suggestion for anybody who’s struggling. And you are not, you are, the food pantry knows what they have. They know who they are able to help.

Tonya Kubo (29:55)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (29:59)
And you just have to ask, they all have websites, you can go and check it out. They have ways of doing it. I follow a couple of people on TikTok who go to food pantries. You can use AI to help you plan some meals then if you’re not sure what, because oftentimes you’ll get things in a food pantry that maybe you’ve never used before. And that’s okay, you know, this will expand what you’re able to do with your cooking and your repertoire. But I think it’s really important.

Tonya Kubo (30:19)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (30:28)
to take advantage of these kind of programs, especially if you are struggling financially right now. There are also gleaning programs where if you go and you help pick fruit or you help pick vegetables, you can take a portion of those home. Depending on your abilities, that’s a really great way. So I think a good place to find some of these things are in your local buy nothing group, your community groups.

Tonya Kubo (30:35)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (30:56)
There are Reddit pages for different communities and what’s available. Tonya, how do you find out about things in your community?

Tonya Kubo (31:06)
Well, you know, I’m lucky enough to be pretty plugged in, but like you said, but I mean, really is like almost every community has their own like Facebook group or, you know, neighborhood community, like my own neighborhood, you know, we have a group me, but those sorts of resources and when in doubt, just ask someone. And I do want to go back to just this idea of stigma around.

Kathi (31:09)
I was just gonna say you’re the most community plugged in person I know.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (31:35)
any sort of food support system, whether it’s a food bank or sometimes farmers markets have special programs. Like if you come like at the farmers market when it closes, you know, a lot of the farmers will let you have what they have on hand is I think one thing that stops a lot of people isn’t necessarily shame, but an assumption that somebody else needs it more than they do, which I love because our cluttery people have the most generous hearts out there. But I just want to say,

Kathi (31:46)
Yeah. Right.

Yes.

Mm -hmm, yes.

Tonya Kubo (32:03)
It is perfectly okay for you to prioritize your own needs and get the help that you need and trust that the organizations that provide these sorts of support services, like you said, Kathi, they know their capacity.

Kathi (32:08)
Mm -hmm.

Yes, and two more things I want to mention that maybe you just need that support for a couple of months. Maybe you’re going through a tough time and you know funds are lean, you’ve got medical bills, you’ve got it’s the beginning of school. Take advantage. Another thought is there are lots of community programs.

for children and senior citizens. California just did a $40 a month thing for kids who are on lunch programs. And then in our community, Monday through Friday, except for on holidays, there’s a senior lunch.

Tonya Kubo (32:43)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (33:00)
And Roger will proudly tell you that he is old enough to take advantage of that now. We have not availed ourselves of those services yet. But you know what? I think that there’s something really important there. Sometimes it’s not just about the food, it’s also about the community. And if you feel embarrassed to say, hey, is there a way I could help? Could I come and clean up? Could I come and serve food? If you’re able -bodied, those are things that you can do.

Tonya Kubo (33:05)
Nice.

Kathi (33:29)
Tonya, this is such a information packed thing. I’m sorry, we’ve had construction going on around our house and a barking dog. And I apologize if I seemed a little off my game, but the information is solid, I promise. So thanks for hanging with us. You’ve been listening to Clutter -Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the clutter -free life you’ve always wanted to live.

More Posts 

#621 Unlocking the Secrets of Successful Gardening with AI

#621 Unlocking the Secrets of Successful Gardening with AI

621 – Unlocking the Secrets of Successful Gardening with AI

Have ever struggled to turn your dream garden into a reality? What if we told you that there’s a new secret weapon that can help you achieve gardening success like never before? That’s right, we’re talking about the incredible power of AI!

Join Kathi and her partner in life and gardening Roger Lipp on this episode as they dive into the world of AI-assisted gardening. They’ll share all the prompts and tips that transformed their gardening game, and you’ll walk away feeling empowered and inspired to create your own oasis of abundance. Listen in as Kathi and Roger guide you through using AI to:

  • Plan the spacing and layout of your garden
  • Determine what plants are best for your growing zone
  • Research companion plants for a healthy garden ecosystem

As promised, here’s the Garden Prompt that Kathi and Roger use to direct AI to plan their dream garden:

“I’m trying to create a planting/gardening activity calendar for our home in the 7b zone of 95684 for our 16×48 foot harden and our 8×8 greenhouse and various potted plants on our patios. Can you create a monthly calendar and make some suggestions about the best fruits and vegetables to grow – along with planting instructions?”

Click here to be notified when the next episode of Clutter Free Academy is released.

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The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.

For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

  • Prepare before the need arises
  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

Links Mentioned:

Clutter Free Resources:

What is something you struggle with when it comes to plants in general? What questions could you ask AI about those plant problems?

Share them in the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Roger Lipp

Roger is a productivity and quality engineer for a Fortune 50 company.

Roger helps teams reach their full productivity potential by teaching them the practical and simple steps to reach their goals. Roger and his wife, author Kathi Lipp, teach communicators how to share their message through social media and email marketing.

He and Kathi coauthored Happy Habits for Every Couple with Harvest House Publishers.

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript
Kathi (00:00.198)
Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter -Free Academy where our goal is to help you live every day with less clutter and more life. And let’s talk about more life because if there was ever a metaphor for life, it would be the garden. And we’re gonna talk about.

Gardening an AI and you may think how do those two things to go together? Well Roger and I are gonna rock your world Roger. Welcome back to the podcast So we got into playing around with AI It at the beginning of 2023 you may have been doing things before that but you and I as a couple that’s when we started and I started doing little things and I got so excited and then I’m like

Roger (00:32.879)
Thank you, good to be here.

Roger (00:55.151)
We actually, we challenged ourselves to do something with AI every day when it first came out. And we didn’t even know what that meant. We just said, hey, we’re just going to use this every day. Yeah.

Kathi (00:55.238)
We were planning a… Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah.

We want to learn. We want to be smart. And boy howdy. And so what I would say, one of our most successful AI endeavors early on for sure was planning our greenhouse and our garden with AI. And so you measured the greenhouse, you measured the garden.

Roger (01:10.639)
I’m sorry.

Roger (01:26.447)
Yeah. Yes.

Kathi (01:33.542)
We came up with a list of things we wanted to grow in the garden and in the greenhouse and we fed all that information into AI and we doggy. So I want to talk, go ahead.

Roger (01:51.887)
It, yeah, yeah, I think it was, you know, the first time out we understood our growing zone and we knew how much square footage we had and we knew whether it was outside or in a greenhouse and we wanted to know spacing and just some basic things that we had some questions on.

Kathi (02:21.542)
Mm -hmm, yeah. And we were novice gardeners before we moved up here. You had never really gardened before. I had done some gardening, but not super successfully because squirrels.

Roger (02:38.031)
Well, yes, that’s our example, right? We had a beautiful tomato plant in our back patio in San Jose. It was gorgeous. And then nature took over. And yeah, the one beautiful tomato that we grew ended up with a squirrel on the side of the fence. Yeah.

Kathi (02:51.782)
Yeah.

and

Kathi (03:01.926)
and the squirrel did it right in front of me and took a bite and threw it away. And I am not a yeller. I yelled at that squirrel. I yelled at that squirrel. But we have since learned how to use AI to help us be better, smarter gardeners, right? And so let me just talk about some of the things that…

Roger (03:05.839)
Yeah.

Roger (03:21.519)
Absolutely.

Kathi (03:26.47)
We figured out and how we kind of put this all together now roger how big is our greenhouse? How big is our garden? and we now have orchard too. So like we’ve got it all going on

Roger (03:37.807)
Yeah, we do have it all going on. I’m sorry. I don’t have the exact numbers. Our greenhouse is, you know, about eight by eight. And the garden, the outside garden is 20 by 60. 20 feet by 60 feet. We got some space. Yeah.

Kathi (03:43.846)
Give us a rest.

Kathi (03:54.246)
Yeah, so we’ve got some space and we needed some plans. So here are, so let’s talk about, if you haven’t listened to our discussion of meal planning and AI, that’s gonna give you a lot of background to help you with this. But we’re gonna talk about some prompts. And can you just give us the one minute explanation of what a prompt is when it comes to AI? And why do we use cloth?

Roger (04:19.919)
Sure. So let me start with Claude. Claude, that’s C -L -A -U -D -E dot A -I. We’ve switched over to that. You may have heard of ChatGPT. Claude isn’t quite so well known out in the wild. You may have heard of ChatGPT. That’s a great one as well. That’s at chat .openai .com. And both of these are free. They both also have a paid account. We use a paid account.

Kathi (04:23.398)
Okay.

Roger (04:49.551)
because it gives us better access and access to all the latest stuff. A prompt for any of these tools, you can think of it as just a way of initiating a conversation with the AI. So you can think of it similarly as you would with doing a Google search. So if you type into Google, you know, whatever you’re looking for,

In a way, you’re prompting Google now to go out and do that internet search for you. Similarly with Claude, except in Claude’s case, you’re going to give it more of a sentence or a paragraph. You’re going to have a conversation with it. We like to think of Claude as an assistant. So however you might talk with an assistant, you could type that in as if you were interacting over text message with an assistant and

Claude can look up that stuff and pull it all together for you. And just like with an assistant, you can go back and say, well, OK, that wasn’t quite what I was looking for. I need something a little more like this. And Claude will update things and respond accordingly.

Kathi (05:51.174)
Yeah, it’s

Kathi (06:03.622)
Beautiful. I love it so much. And so we will share some of these prompts with you to help you as you’re thinking through your garden and all of that and get you to the next spot. But also, look at this as a blueprint for other things you want to do. Maybe it’s a woodworking project. Maybe it’s a craft project or something like that. AI can help you with those things as well. So.

One of the most important things to know is your climate and hardiness zones. So if you give it, Claude, your zip code, it can tell you what your USDA hardiness zone is. Now we live in a very weird place. So I gave it longitude and latitude because, yes, because our zone is not really our zone. It’s.

Roger (06:49.903)
I was wondering how you got around that. Yeah.

Roger (07:01.807)
Our zip code, yes, we have very dramatic microclimate change just from a couple of hundred feet, you know, because we’re on the side of a mountain. So as you go up the mountain, the zones change rapidly.

Kathi (07:02.15)
We live in microclimates.

Kathi (07:12.71)
Yeah.

Kathi (07:16.966)
Yeah, and another really important question is what are the average first and last frost dates in your location? So yeah, so super, super important. So that’s climate and hardiness. Two, space and layout. I have a good, yeah.

Roger (07:26.127)
Super important. Yeah.

Roger (07:34.832)
So we should probably give, okay, so what is that prompt? We’ll include them in the show notes, right? But you’re actually typing in what is the USDA hardiness zone for zip code XYZ, yep.

Kathi (07:41.382)
Right.

Kathi (07:48.582)
Your zip code, yeah. Yes, you’re asking as if you were asking an expert that question. I think that’s the best way to do it or an assistant, depending on what you’re doing. So number two, space and layout. This is where we started with our AI gardening adventure. I have a garden plot that is 20 by 60. Can you suggest a layout? Now, what we said was, and here are the plants we would…

what first we started off with what plants grow best in this in our area, can you suggest how many plants of each and so we were able to do seed starters and things like that. Here’s another prompt you okay yeah.

Roger (08:33.871)
Now that was, I mean, that’s no small feat right there because that involves some math and knowing the spacing of the plants. So that is super valuable because each plant has its own spacing requirements. Some things can be really close together and other things have to be very far apart. So being able to ask, okay, how many cucumber plants should I have if I also have tomatoes and zucchini and pumpkins? Because.

Kathi (08:37.702)
Right.

Kathi (08:43.302)
Mm -hmm. my goodness. Yes.

Kathi (08:53.67)
Yeah.

Kathi (08:58.214)
Yes.

Kathi (09:02.15)
Right. Yeah, we’re gonna try again this year, yes. Here’s another beautiful thing about space and layout. My garden gets full sun in the morning and partial shade in the afternoon. What plants would work well in this situation? What incredibly valuable information to have. Yeah, so go ahead.

Roger (09:02.831)
we’re gonna have pumpkins.

Roger (09:24.431)
And if you’re doing along those same lines, if you’re doing an outdoor in -ground garden like we’re trying, you also can give it soil conditions. We have very acidic soil. Now we try to combat that, but the soil out here is naturally acidic because of all the pine trees.

Kathi (09:41.254)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:53.334)
is it the pine trees? Yeah. Okay, okay, that makes a lot of sense. We’re going to take a quick break. And when we come back, we’re going to give you a few more we’re going to rapid fire some prompts for you. So we we will take a quick break, listen to our wonderful sponsors and come right back.

Roger (09:54.575)
Yeah, they add a lot of acid to the soil.

Kathi (10:23.654)
Okay, guys, we are back and we’re gonna give you a few more prompts that have been especially helpful for us in this whole gardening situation. Okay, so plant selection, I love this. I wanna grow tomato, basil, and lettuce. What are the growing requirements? So it’s gonna tell you, you know, what kind of soil does it need? Is it a container plant? Is it the…

it’s going to give you everything you need. Or it may say it’s not going to work in your space. So you know, buy your lettuce at the store. These are all good. This is all good information to have. What are some easy to grow vegetables for beginner gardeners? So it’s going to give you a list and you say, okay, would these work in my conditions? And you know, this is great. If especially if you don’t have gardeners around you, you know,

It’s always best to get that information from somebody who’s been gardening for 40 years. But if you don’t have that person in your life, and we kind of don’t up here, this has been a great substitution. Wouldn’t you say, Raj? Yeah.

Roger (11:31.639)
yeah. Yeah, and getting back to the chat concept, you know, if you started your conversation with Claude about trying to figure out your growing zone, and then you went in, in that same conversation, you said, great, here’s the size of my garden. And now in that same conversation, you ask, what are some good starter plants? It…

Kathi (11:36.294)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Roger (11:56.943)
will remember that entire conversation and give you starter plants for your zone that would work well in that garden space. So this is one of the beautiful things about this kind of conversation. It really is like talking with an assistant or an expert. And it’s just sort of keeping track of everything that you’ve said in that conversation and pulling it all together for you.

Kathi (12:21.766)
Brilliant, brilliant. Okay, couple of other interesting categories, companion planting. What are some good companion plants for tomatoes? So that is, you know, you wanna grow tomatoes, but you wanna have other things near it that are going to, that are good to grow together. Plants like friends.

Roger (12:42.799)
A lot of it is, yeah, yeah, and a lot of it has to do with pest control as well. So, you know, this plant repels the pest that would be a problem for this other plant, therefore they should grow kind of close together. So a lot of subtleties in planting a garden that we have no idea about as we’re starting, or even intermediate.

Kathi (12:48.134)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (13:05.222)
Yeah. Well, and you know, you could even say, hey, when planning the layout of my garden, keep in mind companion planting, my zone, these are the things I’d like to grow. Like put all those conditions in and then this genius brain is going to take all that information and give you to optimize all your conditions and what you want to accomplish.

Succession planting. How can I plan for successes, hard harvests of lettuce throughout the season? Like it may say in spring, you’re going to start with this kind and then you know, fall, you’re going to transition to this. What are some vegetables with different maturity dates that I can plan for a longer harvest? And we do this as well. We know which ones we’re going to plant in February, you know, start in February in the house. Go ahead, Roger.

Roger (14:00.879)
Yeah, I think this year we’re we’re paying attention. This is kind of the growing edge for us this year is to get this down because otherwise your garden is kind of one and done and when you know that that tomato plant is is done, it’s it’s kind of done. But if you can think about things from a longer. Period of time, well OK, what does work in the fall and how can I get that little plant started?

at the right time. Maybe it’s in a in the greenhouse or we even turned our upstairs, my office upstairs, one of our spare bedrooms into a growing nursery for the for the plants. We had light stretched across between two beds that we have in the room and it was pretty interesting. But you know that that’s just a way of trying to figure out how to have.

Kathi (14:46.278)
Room. Yeah.

Roger (15:00.911)
plants for longer period of time, how to have more vegetables for a longer period of time. So AI can definitely help lay that out and create a plan for you.

Kathi (15:06.438)
Yeah.

Kathi (15:13.734)
I love it. Roger, as we finish up here, and we’ve got more prompts, we’re going to put those all in the show notes, so you’re definitely going to want to check those out. Why would you encourage somebody to try gardening with AI?

Roger (15:31.151)
So we’ve used some of the specific tools for this as well that are purpose built for gardening. And you can draw your garden space and gardening apps. Yeah. And they’re good. They’re good. So there may be an instance where that is the preferred thing that you would want to do. But here,

Kathi (15:43.046)
Gardening apps those kind of thing. Yeah

Roger (15:56.495)
With AI, it’s a general purpose tool. We’re recording sessions about cooking with AI. We’ll have others going on as well. It’s a general purpose tool that can help you in so many different areas of your life as an assistant, as an expert, as just something to bounce ideas off of, to enhance your own creativity. It helps in so many ways. And it’s available.

Kathi (16:05.19)
Yeah.

Roger (16:25.775)
for free if you want, or as we’ve done, you can pay 20 bucks a month. It’s such an amazing tool to help in so many different areas. So I think that’s why I would encourage folks to give this a try. If gardening is something that you’re interested in and you’ve had trouble getting started, or you have specific problems that you’re trying to overcome in your garden, maybe you’re an intermediate or even an advanced gardener, AI has a place there as well. So I think it can help.

Kathi (16:56.07)
Yeah, guys, I would really encourage you, you know, to use this in every aspect of your life, because when you get better with AI cooking, you’re going to get better with AI gardening and AI, you know, chores, you know, meal planning, all the there’s so many aspects of this can help with. Roger, thanks for being here.

Roger (16:57.135)
Because it’s helped us.

Roger (17:16.911)
my pleasure.

Kathi (17:18.342)
Friends, thank you for being here. You’ve been listening to Clutterfree Academy. I’m Cathy Lip. Now, go create the Clutterfree life you’ve always wanted to live.

More Posts 

#620 The Ministry of Presence: Supporting Loved Ones Through Depression

#620 The Ministry of Presence: Supporting Loved Ones Through Depression

620 – The Ministry of Presence: Supporting Loved Ones Through Depression

Hey friends, today’s episode is a powerful and important one. But be advised, it’s also a sensitive subject. Kathi Lipp will be diving deep into the topic of depression and suicidality with her dear friend and author Chris Morris.

You’ll hear how Chris hit his lowest point and the transformative experiences that followed. He opens up about the pivotal moments that set him on a path of healing and the vital role his wife and community played in that journey. Whether you’ve personally battled depression or suicidal thoughts, or you’ve walked alongside a loved one facing these challenges, Chris’ story and insights offer hope and practical wisdom, such as:

  •  How to come alongside someone struggling with their mental health
  • The importance of finding the right therapist, and it might not be the first one you find!
  • The importance of communicating effectively and clearly that they are needed and loved

This episode will move you, challenge you, and ultimately inspire you to show up for those you love who might be struggling in ways you can’t fully understand. So grab a cozy spot, and let’s dive into this powerful conversation together.

Interested in more of Chris Morris’s story?
Click this link. Resilient and Redeemed: Lessons About Suicidality and Depression from the Psych Ward
And sign up for his newsletter at chrismorriswrites.com

Click here to be notified when the next episode of Clutter Free Academy is released.

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The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.

For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

  • Prepare before the need arises
  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

How has Chris’s vulnerability in sharing his story impacted your own understanding and perspective on mental health challenges?

Share them the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Chris Morris

Chris Morris is a certified mental health coach dedicated to promoting understanding of mental health issues within the church. Because of a lifelong struggle with depression and suicidality, Chris became committed to breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health and encouraging others to seek after holistic health.

As a writer and speaker, Chris has shared his personal story and insights with audiences across the country, inspiring many individuals to take control of their own health, break free from poor theological teaching placed upon them, and seek the support they need. He has published several books on mental health, the most recent being Resilient and Redeemed. His work has been featured in a number of media outlets, including CrossWalk, The Mighty, and Fathom Magazine.

Visit him at chrismorriswrites.com

Follow Chris on social media: Facebook @chrismorriswrites and Instagram @chrismorriswrites 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Hey friends, welcome to Clutterfree Academy. Today I am having a beautiful and important conversation with my friend Chris Morris, resilient and redeemed. We’re gonna be talking about some pretty tough topics about depression and suicidality.

Friends, if those are triggering for you, you may want to skip this episode or you may wanna listen to it with a friend or a family member who’s safe. And if you’ve got little kids in the car, cause I know a lot of you listen to this podcast when you’re on your way or back from school, you may wanna listen to this at another time. Or if you just need to skip this episode altogether, hey, we will be back next week talking about your clutter. But I just wanted to give you a heads up. It’s a great conversation, but I also know I want you to feel safe and I want you to know what’s coming up. So please listen to my conversation with Chris Morris.

 

Kathi (00:00.861)
Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter-Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And guys, I am very excited to dig deep into this episode. I am here with one of my good friends and savior in some ways, because he also does our taxes and keeps me out of jail. So I am deeply appreciative. It’s Chris Morris. Chris, welcome to the podcast.

Chris Morris (00:39.886)
Thanks for watching!

Chris Morris (00:45.986)
Thank you so much for having me, Kathi.

Kathi (00:48.113)
Oh, Chris, I have been looking forward to this. We’ve had this on the books for a while because you are an expert. I would say, I don’t know if you would call yourself a reluctant expert, but we’re talking about mental health today and some of the aspects of that go with Clutter. But could you just tell us a little bit about your journey into becoming, to writing on the subject to sharing about this and opening up your own story.

Chris Morris (01:20.91)
Sure, I guess the first thing I’d say is that I am maybe not an expert in the way that you could consider it on the one hand, because I am not a psychiatrist, I’m not a social worker and I’m not a pastor, but I am an expert because I’ve been dealing with depression and suicidality for the last 30 years. So reluctance is a great term to add, because I certainly wouldn’t wish that on anyone, including myself.

Kathi (01:30.465)
Right? Yeah.

Kathi (01:38.434)
Right.

Kathi (01:44.781)
Right. Yes. And yeah.

Chris Morris (01:47.606)
But I started writing about it because I realized that a lot of people, myself included at times, have gotten stuck specifically in our faith and in the ability to make forward momentum. And over the last four or five years, I’ve figured some of those things out for myself. I can’t promise that what I figured out is will work for everyone, but I’m in a much better mental space than I’ve been in a long time.

Kathi (02:11.696)
Right.

Kathi (02:15.841)
Well, and I feel like this podcast, yes, we talk specifically about clutter, but so much of what we talk about is hope, hope for change, hope for living in new and different ways. And I feel like the last four years of your life have been a huge reflection of that because you and I have been working together. And when I say you and I, you mostly work with Roger because the money part is scary to me and I don’t avoid it. Well, okay, I don’t embrace it.

But I am very grateful because you’ve helped Roger and I really figure out the money aspect of not just our business, but our home, all those kind of things. And you’re an incredibly talented person. But you’ve gone through some really big struggles in the time that I’ve known you and also have experienced some tremendous healing.

Chris Morris (03:13.138)
I have so probably the low point of my life in 2020. I know 2020 was rough for everyone, but it was terrible. For me, I actually had a suicide attempt. And I landed in a psych ward for about a week. Part of that time that I was there, I was angry that my suicide attempt didn’t work. And it’s sort of in a weird

twisted way it became one more thing that I was not good at. Oh great Chris you can’t even kill yourself properly. Which is really wicked frankly and pretty close to demonic.

Kathi (03:51.045)
It’s, yeah, right. It’s a very, very dark way, but.

I think, you know, so many of us, if we cannot relate to that particular portion of your story, we have had people that we love. We have had people that we’ve worked with or gone to school with. You know, suicide touched my life very early in that somebody I worked with when I was 16 took his own life.

And yeah, you know, and it, I think about the people who were close to him and the, yeah, I think about how much it affected me and, you know, we just knew each other. And so I think about, I think about not only you, Chris, but also your wife and your family and the people who love you like I do and how…

Chris Morris (04:22.542)
I’m sorry.

Kathi (04:51.325)
how heartbreaking that is. What I wanna do in this episode, and I’m so grateful that you are so honest and so raw about your story. I wanna talk to our listeners about if you are,

if you love somebody, if somebody in your family is in these spaces, how can we best come alongside? And one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you about this is the clutter where it is an issue for a lot of people, but for people who are struggling with their mental health.

this can also be a catalyst and a symptom. It can keep people down and it can be a real struggle. And so what I wanted to ask you about is, I know you have a wife who desperately loves you. I know you have a lot of people who care about you. And I wonder how can we come alongside somebody who is struggling so much in this area?

Chris Morris (06:08.142)
That’s a really important question. I’m glad you’re talking about this. Thank you for asking it. The biggest thing that my wife and I have learned through this process is just being radically honest. So, you know, even in marriages, we can get into that space. How was your day? Oh, it was fine. And we’re not answering very transparently.

Kathi (06:13.135)
Yeah.

Chris Morris (06:36.95)
You know, so sometimes it’s as simple as, well, you said it was fine. Are you sure? And then with my wife, yeah. I was very stubborn personally and my mistaken belief that I had my life put together pretty well when I really didn’t. So it took my wife.

Kathi (06:42.569)
Mm-hmm. Mm. But one more question. Yeah.

Kathi (06:57.873)
Okay, so what did that look like? What did that look like for you, that you felt like your life was together, but finding out it wasn’t?

Chris Morris (07:08.414)
Um, what it looked like for me in the context of where we’re going is asking that one more question didn’t accomplish anything. Like my wife would have to get almost aggressive with me. Like, Chris, you’ve not been yourself. And you seem really down. I know that you struggle with depression. Are you struggling with it right now? And that was Yeah, that was very hard for her.

Kathi (07:19.782)
Oh wow.

Kathi (07:32.548)
So being super direct.

Chris Morris (07:37.514)
She’s a middle child, so that means she doesn’t like conflict. And I’m an only child, which means I’m always right.

Kathi (07:41.815)
Right.

Kathi (07:47.292)
Oh, don’t you love how God knits these relationships together, right?

Chris Morris (07:51.634)
Yeah. So so it ended up I would love to tell you that they were all super happy conversations, but some of them were sort of aggressive. They were you know, we got in some arguments over it, where I was telling her I’m really okay. And she’s like, you’re really not. And she’d always she’d always source it or center it in her love for me. Over and over. She’d say, Chris, I want the best for you. And you’re not living your best right now.

Kathi (08:11.413)
Mmm.

Kathi (08:17.061)
So is that what you needed to hear? That you were deeply loved and she wanted more for you?

Chris Morris (08:26.43)
Yes. Yeah, there’s this there is at least for me or there was it’s less so now this intense fear that if I let people into the darkness that’s within my soul, they’re going to go, Oh, I don’t want any of that. So the best one of the best things my wife did was say, I’m committed to you no matter what. And I think there’s more for you.

Kathi (08:51.981)
Right, right. Mm-hmm.

Chris Morris (08:55.222)
But you have to, you have to want it. Let me help you want it.

Kathi (08:59.863)
Yeah. Were you seeing somebody at this point? Were you in therapy? What was the situation? Did you have somebody that you could be completely honest with?

Chris Morris (09:15.074)
Um, on and off, I’ll be honest with you, Kathi. I had a couple really, really bad experiences with counselors where they were actually adding to my trauma rather than helping me process. So in the, the darkest times, part of my problem was that I wasn’t seeking professional help.

Kathi (09:18.721)
Yeah.

Chris Morris (09:39.902)
and my reasoning somewhat made sense. I had someone who told me that my Christianity was a crutch and I was gonna be depressed as long as I continued to believe in God.

Kathi (09:50.094)
What?

Chris Morris (09:51.742)
Right. So I looked at that and went, well, I don’t need that. And that’s not a wrong statement, but, but I did need counseling.

Kathi (09:56.957)
Right. No, it’s not a wrong statement. But two things, yeah, two things can be true at the same time. That was a wrong statement, but you still needed help. But that was not the help you needed, yeah. I find, yeah.

Chris Morris (10:05.951)
Yes.

Chris Morris (10:09.79)
Yes, exactly. Right. So part of this too, look like my wife saying, I think you need to get into counseling again. Well, you remember the last time that happened? Yes, I do. But I still think you need to get into counseling again.

Kathi (10:20.599)
Yeah.

Kathi (10:26.829)
Yeah, and what I’ve learned is the first counselor isn’t always the right counselor. That sometimes it’s the second and third, but that has to be really hard when you are struggling so deeply to be persistent in that. I mean, you must have needed your wife’s support even more at that point. I don’t know. How did you, were you able to find somebody or is that still an ongoing struggle for you?

Chris Morris (10:34.485)
Mm-hmm.

Chris Morris (10:57.934)
So after my suicide attempt, there were some things that happened in the psych ward that maybe we’ll get to, maybe we won’t. But there were some shifts that happened in the deepest part of my soul when I was in the psych ward. And I recognized that everything my wife had been saying to me about needing to find support and needing to produce change in my life and needing to have healthy habits.

Kathi (11:05.016)
Okay.

Chris Morris (11:25.278)
All of those things did indeed have to happen or I was gonna end up in the same place again.

Kathi (11:30.805)
Right, right. And I will say, I, you know, just for my own mental health journey, I’ve done some online therapy. And one of the best things that I heard was, you know, you can, you know, you can be matched with somebody. And I wasn’t necessarily matched with a Christian. But it was somebody who

Kathi (12:00.719)
and believed that my faith was an important part of who I was.

And so that was a beautiful statement to me. I found the right counselor because I’ve been struggling with some situational depression and needed to see somebody for a few months and to have that option and be told, no, we honor who you are, including your faith was huge for me. We need to go to a commercial. I wanna come back.

Chris Morris (12:10.08)
Mm-hmm.

Kathi (12:36.197)
And I want to ask you, Chris, about

How do you ask for the help that you need when you’re in that, or can you? And so I wanna explore that topic with you because some of us are coming alongside somebody, but some of us are the ones who are suffering. And I wanna ask you, you know, where, how did you get to the point where you could ask or maybe you didn’t? So I wanna go into more of your story there. We’re gonna take a quick break and we’ll be right back.

Guys, we’re here with author Chris Morris. His book is resilient and redeemed. Chris, can you give me the subtitle to your book?

Chris Morris (13:21.902)
Sure, it is lessons about suicidality and depression from the psych ward.

Kathi (13:28.421)
Yeah, okay. So you talked a little bit about that some things fundamentally changed for you while you were in the psych ward. You know, were you able to ask for help? Or was the suicide attempt? Was that the ask? I don’t know. I’m probably asking the wrong questions here, but I would love to hear your answer.

Chris Morris (13:53.362)
I don’t think you’re asking the wrong questions. I mean, how do you dive into, so how was the suicide attempt? That’s not an easy question. But that, cause that sort of sounds like how was the stake, but.

Kathi (13:59.089)
Yeah, how is-

Kathi (14:04.673)
Right, and I only left because you’re here and you’re with us and you’re you know You’re reaching out your hand back out to people who they are struggling and there are so many families who are dealing with this situation right now So how did you get the help you need? Did it have to come to it had to come to the psych ward? Didn’t it for you?

Chris Morris (14:27.942)
It really did. I was very stubborn and convinced that I was handling things okay. And the circumstances behind my suicide attempt and what happened when I was in the psych ward sort of laid the foundation for a different direction for me. Let me explain what I mean by that.

Kathi (14:46.983)
Yeah.

Chris Morris (14:48.138)
We immediately before my suicide attempt, we were as a family downstairs, having a good time watching some television show. And I had this random thought pop into my head that said, things are never going to get better. You should just go take those pills right now. And I didn’t process that. I was sort of so stunned that it came that I just sort of went with it. And I went upstairs, grabbed a bunch of pills.

and tried to kill myself by suicide. And, you know, I needed, when I came into a better place, I realized I need to make sure that the next time that thought pops into my head, because it’s gonna come again, I need to be prepared to manage that better. And what that looked like for me was needing to have

transparent relationships with three or four people who I know will be able to, at a moment’s notice, sort of drop everything and help me reframe things. I have that now in my life. Finding a counselor, I have that now in my life. And then the thing that shifted for me in the in the psych ward was a spiritual reorientation. I’m going to tell you a quick story here.

Kathi (15:53.713)
Yeah.

Kathi (16:11.353)
Yeah, please, yes.

Chris Morris (16:13.822)
So I was sitting in the psych ward watching a cinematic masterpiece, something like Rambo 17. Yes, yes, life changing stuff. And I felt this quickening in my spirit, like God wanted to say something to me. I didn’t know exactly what he might want to say to post-suicidal psych ward Chris. But anyway, couldn’t say it well.

Kathi (16:21.285)
Something with deep meaning to you. Yes, go ahead. Right.

Chris Morris (16:39.562)
while sliced along was blowing up the world. So I went into my room, and I sat down and I just waited. And I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me almost like an audible voice. It wasn’t but almost like that clear. Chris, I still love you. And I and I and I argued with him. You don’t understand who I am and what I’ve gone through and how dark things are. I don’t even love me. You can’t love me. And I was ready for an argument.

You know, it’s never a good thing when you think you’re going to argue and win with God, but that’s a side point. Instead of engaging me in that, the Lord just repeated himself. He said, no, Chris, I still love you. And it hit different for me the second time. And it’s like something shifted in my spirit in a really deep way. If the creator of the universe who knows better than anyone else exactly how messed up I am.

Kathi (17:09.485)
Right. Yes.

Chris Morris (17:37.13)
is still willing to engage with me and still see something worthwhile that maybe I ought to as well. So that’s sort of part one of the restoration of my soul. Part two came the next day, my pastor came and visited me. I I’ve had a lot of gaslighting in my life from pastor so I was super nervous. I almost didn’t show up. Because I’m like I

I don’t think I can handle one more person tearing me down one more time. I’m already in a psych ward. I can’t, but it can get worse.

Kathi (18:07.53)
Right. Oh, absolutely. Yes.

Chris Morris (18:10.682)
And we small talk for a little bit, you know, how’s the food? It’s fine. Are you enjoying yourself? What? He didn’t ask that question. I’m kidding.

Kathi (18:19.67)
I was like, oh, he needs some training. OK, good. He did not ask that question.

Chris Morris (18:24.063)
No, we just small talk for a while. And then I saw his posture change. And in my, and internally I went, Oh no, here it comes. Here’s where he’s going to tear me down. But he didn’t. Instead he said, Chris, we can’t have this happen again. God’s not done with you yet. And our church needs you. And those two things helped me understand not only is not only was he affirming what

Kathi (18:30.243)
Yeah.

Chris Morris (18:49.482)
had happened through the Holy Spirit the other day, but he was telling me, you have a home and we miss you in this home.

Kathi (18:57.789)
To know, to say, we want to know you more deeply, and you’re needed is huge, is huge. And that’s what you needed to hear, is what you’re telling me, is that you were wanted and you were needed. And yeah, I think sometimes we forget.

Chris Morris (18:58.21)
deeply transformative.

Chris Morris (19:06.733)
Yes.

Chris Morris (19:17.002)
Mm-hmm.

Kathi (19:22.941)
to show up for our friends, for the people that we love in that way and say the simple things. And you talked about your three or four friends. I call that my short sucker list. If I’m, it doesn’t matter where I’m at, at 2.30 in the morning, I’ve got a handful of friends who won’t ask a question, but will show up and just, you know, because they know I need them. And we all need that.

that short list in our lives. Chris, there are people who are listening right now who are going to deal with, they know somebody who is hurting right now. What do they need to tell that person that they love so deeply, who are struggling so much, that they are needed and they’re wanted? What else did you need to hear?

Chris Morris (20:21.654)
I’m gonna go someplace weird to give you an answer to this question. I’m going to go to the book of Job and his friends. No, normally when Pete, when you talk about Job’s friends, you think about, well, once they open their mouth, all sorts of stuff, we’ll use the word stuff. I could use other words, all sorts of stuff tumbled out of their mouth. That was really unhelpful and really harmful and really hurtful. But the first thing they did.

Kathi (20:23.709)
Please, please.

Kathi (20:27.946)
Okay.

Kathi (20:39.94)
Yeah.

Right.

Kathi (20:46.809)
Yes.

Chris Morris (20:52.338)
is amazing. And it’s the best thing that anyone could have done for Job in the midst of his tremendous, terrible, unbelievably awful circumstances. They came and they sat with him and they mourned with him for a week and they didn’t say anything. They offered him the ministry of presence.

And I think that is something that so many hurting people desperately need. That’s something that I desperately needed and still need sometimes for someone to come alongside. What that looks like sometimes is this menu situation really stinks. I don’t have an answer for you, but I’m here for you. I’m here to listen. If you want, if you want, I can grab some pizza and we can watch a movie. You know, I just want to be with you.

Kathi (21:39.61)
Right.

Chris Morris (21:48.978)
and acknowledge that what you’re going through is hard, and that there aren’t easy answers for it. And that’s important because a lot of times as Christians, we feel like we have to defend God for the circumstances that our friends find themselves in. And that never goes well.

Kathi (22:05.533)
Mmm. Ah.

It’s so true. And we all want to be that person who says the magic thing that makes it all better. And there is no magic thing. There’s nothing. There’s nothing we can say to, you know, you look at Job’s circumstances. He lost his family. He lost, you know, he lost everything. There was nothing to be said, but you’re right, that ministry of presence to just say, you are worth spending time with, you are worth.

Chris Morris (22:19.447)
Right.

Kathi (22:37.329)
loving you are worth mourning with it. You know, I feel like, you know, we have, as I think Americans, we have. And sometimes as Christians, we don’t have the right rituals around these really hard things. We don’t know how to show up.

Chris Morris (22:59.159)
Mm.

Kathi (23:02.373)
And to realize, you know, it took me until my 50s to realize that, you know, when my friend’s parent dies, even if I didn’t know the parent, I show up and mourn with them. I’ve lost nothing, but the person I love has lost so much. And I don’t know why it took me so long to really understand and realize that.

I think just because you show up for people that you know who died, but to come alongside, I guess it was in my 40s that I figured that out. But I hate that you’ve gone through this. And I love that you’re reaching a hand back to help others to say, people are going to go through this. And we need to figure out how to be present for them.

Chris Morris (23:46.626)
Hmm.

Kathi (23:58.237)
Um, Chris, I would love your most practical advice for the person who loves somebody who’s going through this. What, what is the, is there, you know, is it the suicide hotline? Is it grief grocery? Like, what is your most practical advice?

for somebody who’s going through this when you need to show up for a friend. I love the ministry of presence. Is there something really practical we could do as well?

Chris Morris (24:35.81)
That’s a tough question because every person is sort of wired a little bit differently. Um, I, I think it comes back to some of what we’ve already talked about. The idea of communicating as.

directly and as clearly as possible. Hey, I’m for you and I love you, not because of the specifics of how you’re built necessarily. Like I don’t love you only because I think you’re well put together right now. I love you because of who you fundamentally are and no circumstances are gonna change that. My…

Kathi (25:14.547)
Right.

Chris Morris (25:23.638)
My friend Mary says it this way, no matter what, I’m always on Team Chris. And I love that language of being on Team Chris.

Kathi (25:29.249)
Yes, I love that.

Kathi (25:34.173)
Team Chris, oh, 100%. Let me ask you one last question. You went through this and how do people show up for the people you love when you’re in this crisis? How did you want people to show up for your wife, for your family?

Chris Morris (25:58.638)
Don’t worry. You know, I’ll be honest.

Chris Morris (26:06.238)
My wife carried the lion’s share of the load through the darkest times that I had. And for her, it was…

you know, simple things like not saying how can I help, but people showing up with a mop and a brush and saying I’m, I’m going to clean your house because I know that having a clean house is important to you. Or show it or just bringing a meal, not being on a meal train, but just unexpectedly doing something and showing up. I think those were the moments that were really meaningful for my wife, Barbara.

Kathi (26:37.625)
Yeah.

Kathi (26:43.087)
Right?

Kathi (26:47.929)
and just saying it’s here. Okay, awesome. And Chris, how are you doing today? How’s Barbara doing today? How’s your family?

Chris Morris (27:00.362)
We’re in good shape. Still healing, but we’re in good shape. Yeah, healthier than we’ve been in a long time.

Kathi (27:03.042)
Yeah.

Kathi (27:07.033)
I’m so grateful to hear it. You guys, the book is Resilient and Redeemed by Chris Morris. And I’m going to encourage you to pick it up. I don’t normally say, could you go pick this up? But here’s what I know. If your family is not currently going through something like this, we just thank God. But there’s a family you love who is. And…

Chris Morris (27:09.014)
Me too.

Kathi (27:36.325)
Chris is gonna give you some spiritual applications and practical application and how do we maneuver and how do we love well through all of this. Chris, thank you so much for being on the podcast.

Chris Morris (27:51.658)
It’s been a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Kathi (27:54.209)
And guys, we’re gonna put the resources for how to stay in touch with Chris. If this is something that you or somebody you love is dealing with, he has an email list that I would love for you to get on and we’ll have the link to the book in our show notes as well. I know it’s a good, I’ve read the book, I love the book, and I can highly recommend. Well friends, you have been listening to Clutterfree Academy, I’m Kathi Lipp.

Go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

 

More Posts 

#619 Decluttering Sentimental Items: Transforming Loved Items into Meaningful Displays

#619 Decluttering Sentimental Items: Transforming Loved Items into Meaningful Displays

619 – Decluttering Sentimental Items: Transforming Loved Items into Meaningful Displays

Welcome back, our sentimental decluttering friends!

In part 2 of the Clutter Free Academy series on decluttering sentimental items, Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo explore the art of curating and displaying emotional items in a meaningful way. Throughout the episode, they emphasize the importance of being intentional and selective in your curation process, ensuring that each displayed item truly reflects your heart and brings joy to your space. Listen in as they share insights and inspiration about sentimental items, such as:

  • How to transform your emotional clutter into beautiful, intentional keepsakes
  • How gallery walls, shadowboxes, and themed displays can be used to honor your loved one
  • How sharing the narratives behind sentimental items can enhance their value and significance.

With their insights and inspiration, you’ll be well-equipped to transform your sentimental clutter into beautiful, purposeful keepsakes. So, grab a tissue (just in case) and join us for this heartfelt conversation!

Did you miss Part 1 of this series? Here it is for you. #618 Decluttering Sentimental Items: A Step-by-Step Guide

Click here to be notified when the next episode of Clutter Free Academy is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

 

The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.

For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

  • Prepare before the need arises
  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

Links Mentioned:

Click here to subscribe to our newsletter and access a copy of the Decision Tree for Letting Go of Emotional Items that Kathi mentions in this episode.

Clutter Free Resources:

Can you share some of your favorite creative display ideas for sentimental items?

Share them the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Kathi Lipp [00:00:08]:
Well, hey, friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And we are back for part two of. Yeah, I think that we are going to be referencing this podcast over and over and over again in our free group, in our paid group. And just as people are struggling to, they don’t know what to do with their sentimental items, whether they were passed on from a loved one or something from your childhood that you are just having a hard time. Like, do I keep it? The song should I stay or should I go? Keeps going through my brain. And we’ve got somebody here who’s going to help us decide. It’s Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya.

Tonya Kubo [00:00:54]:
Hey, Kathi.

Kathi Lipp [00:00:55]:
Well, I just want to dive back into this conversation that we are having about getting rid of sentimental items. So you also think that we need to talk about the space and lifestyle considerations.

Tonya Kubo [00:01:11]:
There are some things that are absolutely ginormous, and there are some things that aren’t ginormous, but they’re bigger than the space you have. And so I think you have to think about, you know, does this item align with my current lifestyle and my current space? And, you know, if the answer to that is yes, then by all means, find a suitable place for it or repurpose it. So I think of, I didn’t do this. I got rid of it. But remember, when I bought this house, it came with everything in it, which sounded like a deal, until I realized that really, it was just a bunch of stuff that I had to take to the dump.

Kathi Lipp [00:01:51]:
But one of the things, including the stove. Right, right.

Tonya Kubo [00:01:54]:
I’m gonna talk about the stove.

Kathi Lipp [00:01:56]:
You know, I’m gonna talk about the stove. The stove is what I can’t forget.

Tonya Kubo [00:01:59]:
Yes, right. 1949 Wedgewood gas stove. I mean, the thing restored would have been gorgeous. And the family had driven three states over which we live in California. It takes a very long time to get to another state. This isn’t like going from Massachusetts to a neighboring state. So they’d driven to another state. They’d paid several thousand dollars, but they had to rent a vehicle cause it weighed a ton.

Tonya Kubo [00:02:25]:
Four grown men were required in order to lift it out of here. But when they turned this house into a rental, they put it in the garage. Critters had taken up habitants in there, but they were really caught up in, like, no, we pretty much gave you a $4,000 gift here. Like, we covered your closing costs with this stove. And I’m like, yeah, and I’m just, like, looking at it. But eventually we kind of got to the point where, I mean, we knew that we were going to sell it. Once we saw how heavy it was. We’re like, we’re not going to be able to get that into the house.

Tonya Kubo [00:02:57]:
No, we’re gonna sell it. We tried for three years to sell it. Couldn’t find a buyer. Now, if I had deep sentimental attachment and some skill, which I don’t have, by the way, let’s just be clear there. I could have probably turned it into, like, a really cool, succulent planner, right. Because it had, like, all these cool compartment y things, right? I could have done something really cool with that. I could have repurposed it into some kind of storage unit, because, again, it had these neat little compartment y things. I could have made it like a decorative fixture, right? I could have put some kind of, like, plastic acrylic thing across the top and made it almost like a coffee bar.

Tonya Kubo [00:03:41]:
I coulda, woulda, shoulda Kathi done a lot of things with it if it meant that much to me. But just telling you all the things I could have done with it makes this, like, anxiety bubble up in my chest. That makes me so grateful that I posted on Facebook free, but you gotta pick it up.

Kathi Lipp [00:03:59]:
Yes. And which, by the way, yes. We had somebody deliver just our. Our fireplace, and it about killed the two guys who were doing it. And your stove was so much bigger. So, like, I can’t even imagine. Yeah. So it did not align with your lifestyle.

Tonya Kubo [00:04:20]:
It didn’t.

Kathi Lipp [00:04:21]:
And.

Tonya Kubo [00:04:21]:
But if it did, let’s just say I really was attached to it. Right? Like, I was the person who drove three states over to bring that into my house.

Kathi Lipp [00:04:28]:
Yeah.

Tonya Kubo [00:04:29]:
Then you know what I could have done? Like, I could have taken a picture of it, and now with AI, I could have uploaded that and had some warhol style, like, portrait made of it that I could have framed and put in my house.

Kathi Lipp [00:04:43]:
Right.

Tonya Kubo [00:04:43]:
There are ways to preserve the memory, the good feelings, without having to keep the thing if the thing is no longer practical for you.

Kathi Lipp [00:04:55]:
Yes. It’s so true. And, you know, I appreciate, like, we had a relative who put together a book of my mom’s family history, and I’m doing some genealogical research right now. And I’m so grateful, one, that I don’t have to keep all those pictures, and two, they’re available on ancestry.com. And, oh, my gosh. I mean, what a gift, right? So what are some other ways to. Okay, so AI could have taken a picture, some other ways that we could preserve things like that. You know, my dad’s paycheck is schlacked to a piece of wood, and it’s cute, and I love it, but I love the idea of taking pictures of things and putting that up in your house.

Kathi Lipp [00:05:46]:
I think that that’s a great way of doing it. I think one thing not to do is to say my kids have to take it. Cause I don’t want it, but my kids have to take it.

Tonya Kubo [00:05:59]:
Well, I think you can’t. Yeah. You can’t make anybody take it is my point. Because we see that with kids. We see that with siblings, right? I see that a lot in clutter free academy. Right? Like, I am the only one of my siblings who has a garage, who lives on property, and therefore, my siblings have all decided, I have to take this. And it’s like, you don’t have to have to do anything, actually.

Kathi Lipp [00:06:23]:
Right, right. No, I mean, we just had a discussion with Roger’s brother, who. He’s the oldest. He lived closest to everybody, and all the photos ended up with him. And he was feeling such tremendous guilt, and he said, I’m sorry, I have to give these to the other brother. We live on the other side of the country, and it’s like, no, there should be no guilt involved in this. You know, it’s. We can only do what we can do.

Kathi Lipp [00:06:51]:
And if it starts to weigh down your life, I’m hoping that your parent, your relative, your grandparent, that’s not the legacy they wanted to leave for you. Okay, so you’ve answered no to all these things. Like, no, it doesn’t fit my lifestyle. No, it’s not super sentimental, but I think my mom would be really upset if she found out I threw away this cookbook or. How do you get past that feeling?

Tonya Kubo [00:07:25]:
Well, that’s. I mean, that’s really hard, right?

Kathi Lipp [00:07:29]:
Yeah.

Tonya Kubo [00:07:30]:
Because. Well, you know. Cause first of all, it’s like, okay, so is mom alive or dead? Because people. I mean, and I’ve even been that way. Right? Like, I held onto a lot of stuff after my mom died because my mom would have a fit if I got rid of it. And, you know, there was a point where I was like, okay, how long am I gonna make decisions based on fear of my mother’s ghost haunting me? Right? And, I mean, I can laugh about that now because I’m talking about my relationship with my mom.

Kathi Lipp [00:07:57]:
Right.

Tonya Kubo [00:07:57]:
I would never laugh somebody else. But no, you know, if it’s no. All the way down and your concern is what other people will, think what you’re really saying is you’ve got a boundary problem. Right. And we’ve talked frequently in past episodes about how clutter is a boundary issue. But there’s a lot of, you know, boundary issues that we have in our relationships that manifest through stuff. And, like, all I can say is, I can acknowledge that it’s hard. I can also acknowledge that it’s not helpful for me to be like, we’ll just get rid of it.

Tonya Kubo [00:08:34]:
Right? I mean, your emotional connection with somebody is your emotional connection. But I do think there is a way of working through that. And part of that, I think, Kathi, is you have to separate the act of decluttering sometimes from the emotional thought. Work around the decluttering.

Kathi Lipp [00:08:55]:
Hey, Tonya. We’re going to take a quick break. We’re going to talk to our sponsors, and then we will come right back. Okay? We are back continuing our conversation with Tonya Kubo about sentimental and emotional items.

Tonya Kubo [00:09:10]:
When you’re holding the item in your hand, there’s a lot going on.

Kathi Lipp [00:09:15]:
Mm hmm.

Tonya Kubo [00:09:16]:
Right. Internally in your head. It’s exhausting. Sometimes what you have to do is you have to put that item down and come back to it another day. Or rather than coming back to it, just put that item down for now. Set a notification. I’m a big fan of 30 days from now. I’ll make that decision, but then actually schedule some time.

Tonya Kubo [00:09:35]:
Sit down, journal it, think through it, but, like, think through all the questions, and then, like, okay, so, like, if. If my mom were to find out that I got rid of this, and, like, would she actually say something? If we’re talking about my mother? Yes. Yes, my mother would have. Okay, if she said something like, what’s the best case scenario? What’s the worst case scenario? Like, walking through that. Because all those emotions are going to bubble up just as you’re thinking about these eventual cases. But you don’t need to also be holding the item in order to be working through that. That just adds more stress to the whole scenario. So separate yourself from the item.

Tonya Kubo [00:10:15]:
Go through the questions. Really think through, like, what’s the worst case scenarios? How bad can it be? Scale of one to four. How much can I tolerate these potential outcomes? And then once you make that decision, I’m going to give you a very unpopular opinion. Popular opinion would say, once you make the decision, go take care of it right now. I say, once you make the decision, close your notebook, whatever it is, take a deep breath, go reward yourself because you just did some hard, stinking work and come back to handling the item when you already scheduled yourself to handle the item, but you’ve done the hard work of the thinking?

Kathi Lipp [00:10:54]:
Yes. Okay. Yeah, I love that. It’s to process the emotion. And I think the thing I have to remind myself is my loved one is not in this item. I have a couple of things that, when I look at them, they make me happy, and we should only keep things around that make us happy when we look at them. And that another thing that I’ve had to do, a couple of, like, hard things I’ve had to do, is tell my kids, hey, you’ve got stuff here. If it’s sentimental to you, I need you to pick it up by this date.

Kathi Lipp [00:11:44]:
And if you can’t, if you choose not to, I’m okay getting rid of it. And that may seem really, really harsh, but it’s just not. If I can’t, I can’t be a caretaker for somebody else’s memories. Like, these things. These items mean nothing to me. And so we. That, and we had Jeremy at our house at 1145 one night going through stuff, and he picked out what he wanted, and he said, you can get rid of the rest. And that’s.

Kathi Lipp [00:12:17]:
That’s all we needed. The other thing that I’ve done before is saying, here is this item, extended family. If nobody wants it, I’m going to get rid of it by June 1. And because somehow, sometimes we are held by emotional blackmail by other members of our family, it’s not important enough for me to take, but you should keep it. And that is gaslighting. That is gaslighting in its finest form, to say you’re a bad person if you don’t do what I also refuse to do, and it’s just not true. If you can curate the things that are important to you, and only you can decide what’s important to you, don’t let other people decide what should be important to you, what feelings should be attached to things. It’s emotional blackmail, and we don’t do that around here.

Kathi Lipp [00:13:19]:
If we’re getting rid of clutter, we’re also getting rid of useless feelings.

Tonya Kubo [00:13:23]:
Exactly.

Kathi Lipp [00:13:24]:
And so to put a date on something and say, you know, and this happened with my mother in law’s stuff, my brother in law sent messages to Rogers and his stepfather’s family and said, hey, we’ve got this item. Does anybody want it? He didn’t hear back from anybody. And so three months later, he got rid of it. A year and a half later, somebody said, oh, I’d actually like that. He’s like, it’s gone. It’s gone. And here’s the thing. If it was really important, there’s a phrase going around, at least on TikTok.

Kathi Lipp [00:14:02]:
If he wanted to, he would. And what that means is, if they wanted that item, they would have acted on it. If they were. We can’t be healthy for other people, and so we have to have our own boundaries. And my brother in law felt guilty at first that he got rid of this item. I’m like, you gave them every chance in the world.

Tonya Kubo [00:14:25]:
Yeah.

Kathi Lipp [00:14:25]:
No, no, no. Yeah. We’re done. We live. We are deciding on our own health. Okay, Tonya, anything that you think we have not said that should be said on this subject?

Tonya Kubo [00:14:39]:
Yeah, I think so. I’m just gonna say three more things. Thing one, okay. Is. And this is the hardest part. So what I will say is, give yourself grace. You want to be as honest and objective as possible when you go through the decision tree. Okay.

Tonya Kubo [00:14:57]:
It’s hard. It’s going to feel hard. That’s okay. But, you know, be as honest as you can be. The other thing I will say is take breaks, which I already kind of talked about. Separating yourself from the item sometimes really is beneficial. And then this is the big one that I don’t feel like people like. Hear me when I say, but gosh darn it.

Tonya Kubo [00:15:18]:
Celebrate your successes along the way. Okay. Maybe you have a box of 25 things, and you were only able to part with five of the 25. Can we celebrate that rather than talk about how only five things?

Kathi Lipp [00:15:39]:
Yes, Tonya? I think as we heal, as we do the work, these items come in layers, and sometimes there’s obvious stuff. It’s like, oh, I never have to see this again. It’s fine. And then as we do the work, we become healthier and understand that our relationship is not in these items. We curate the things that were meaningful to us. We are not holding on to things because other people in our life say they should be important to us. And that decluttering that box may come. You may be able to declutter it the first day.

Kathi Lipp [00:16:24]:
It may take you years, and it’s okay. I will tell you this. When I finally take things out of the box and I get rid of six things, and then there’s this one thing. I’m like, you know what? I want that displayed in my house. I don’t want it to be in a box. I I want it to be someplace where I can see it every day and recall the good memories with this person I love. Or, you know, this animal like it. Part of my grieving and healing with Jake was putting that, you know, going and buying the candle.

Kathi Lipp [00:16:58]:
We do not have enough ritual in the United States of America around the death of loved ones. And I think sometimes creating that ritual, you know, finding the candle, and when somebody loses a pet, I send them candles that I think are going to be about the same size as their animal’s neck so that they can put the collar around it. Because there’s a ritual there that says, we honor this life that was so important to us, and that’s part of our grieving and that’s part of our sentimentality. And when I first looked at that after Jake died, I would cry every single time. And now it just brings a smile. And that’s what we want your house to do, is to bring you joy and to bring you peace as you look around. This was a deep conversation, Tonya, but I think it was a really good one. And I’m really grateful for you being here with me.

Tonya Kubo [00:17:55]:
Well, thank you for having me. This was a really. I hope this one is very helpful to our listeners.

Kathi Lipp [00:18:01]:
I hope so, too. And, friends, you have been here, and we’re so grateful that we can speak to you. You’ve been listening to clutter free academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

More Posts 

#618 Decluttering Sentimental Items: A Step-by-Step Guide

#618 Decluttering Sentimental Items: A Step-by-Step Guide

618 – Decluttering Sentimental Items: A Step-by-Step Guide

Do you have a box (or two, or three) filled with sentimental items that you just can’t seem to let go of?

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp, and Tonya Kubo tackle the challenge of decluttering sentimental items. They discuss the various categories of emotional clutter, from childhood memorabilia to inherited items, and share their personal experiences with letting go. Together, they offer a step-by-step decision-making process to help listeners navigate the emotional decluttering journey with confidence and clarity. Listen in as they how to ask questions and set limits on sentimental items in the decluttering process using:

  • Kathi’s “Five Item Rule” for curating sentimental objects, and
  • Tonya’s “Decision Tree” process for making decluttering choices

Click here to be notified when part 2 of this series, where Kathi and Tonya will dive even deeper into the art of curating and displaying sentimental items in a meaningful way, goes LIVE.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

 

The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.

For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

  • Prepare before the need arises
  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

Links Mentioned:

Click here to subscribe to our newsletter and access a copy of the Decision Tree for Letting Go of Emotional Items Kathi mentions in this episode.

Clutter Free Resources:

How do you personally navigate the emotional challenges of letting go?

Share in the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Kathi Lipp [00:00:08]:
Well, hey, friends. Welcome to Clutter Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And today, I am back with my favorite clutter free co conspirator. It is Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya.

Tonya Kubo [00:00:26]:
Hey, Kathi.

Kathi Lipp [00:00:28]:
Uh, I I’m excited about today’s podcast, and also, I don’t know, I feel prejudged. Let me just put it that way. I already feel like this is where I’m failing. This is. You know, I think we all have different areas of clutter that we struggle with. And weirdly, I’m not a very sentimental person. I don’t have a lot of, like, things from my kids childhood, things like that. But when there is something and I struggle to get rid of it.

Kathi Lipp [00:01:05]:
And I know that when we were doing our interviews with members of our paid group clutter free for life, you found that the majority of people are just like me. We’re all just like each other, that we struggle. So I would love to hear from you what people’s struggles were with these emotional and sentimental items and kind of the things that. That brought up for people.

Tonya Kubo [00:01:31]:
Yeah, well, so the struggles are. I mean, they’re varied, right? Just because we all have the same. The same core challenge, how it. The symptoms of that challenge are not always similar. So the sentimental items, something we’ve talked about a lot, right, are just like the ghosts of our past lives. So that’s the childhood memorabilia, whether it’s our own childhood stuff or our children’s stuff from when they were babies and such. There is the stuff that we have inherited. Right?

Kathi Lipp [00:02:06]:
So the.

Tonya Kubo [00:02:07]:
The ghost of past lives is both like childhood, but it’s college, it’s former professions. It’s the empty nester who used to homeschool, but they don’t want to let go of the homeschool curriculum because maybe their grandchildren could use it.

Kathi Lipp [00:02:19]:
What is it about homeschool curriculum?

Tonya Kubo [00:02:23]:
It’s expensive. That’s what it is. Kathi, as a former homeschooling mom.

Kathi Lipp [00:02:29]:
Yeah.

Tonya Kubo [00:02:29]:
You know.

Kathi Lipp [00:02:30]:
Yep, you’re right.

Tonya Kubo [00:02:31]:
When I was homeschooling, we had, you know, in our state, we had a thing called public charter schools that would help offset some of the expenses. But if you were homeschooling in the eighties and nineties, you were on your own, and.

Kathi Lipp [00:02:46]:
Yeah, no, that’s true. Right.

Tonya Kubo [00:02:50]:
So there’s that.

Kathi Lipp [00:02:50]:
So that’s true. I remember that. Yeah. Because we, you and I have both dipped our toe into homeschooling. And even though I bought a lot of curriculum used. It was not cheap.

Tonya Kubo [00:03:02]:
No, no. I mean, I remember there was one curriculum that was touted as the best for working families, and it was like $2,000 a year.

Kathi Lipp [00:03:12]:
So you just think, holy cow, right?

Tonya Kubo [00:03:16]:
If that’s you, Kathi, wouldn’t you want to save that just in case the off chance is that, a, you had grandchildren and, b, those grandchildren would be homeschooled maybe one day, kind of.

Kathi Lipp [00:03:28]:
I would want to save it in case I got pregnant at 56, like.

Tonya Kubo [00:03:32]:
Yeah, exactly.

Kathi Lipp [00:03:34]:
And, Tonya, I have to tell you, I was talking with our friend Sherry Gregory recently, and I remember one of the things she had the hardest time decluttering was one of these programs that you got in the box. And, like, here was lesson number 42, and here’s lesson number 78. And I saw somebody post about that and say it was Pokemon for stay at home moms. Gotta catch them all. And just about died when I heard that. And I finally realized I was never going to get lesson number 37. Like, they were never going to put that out. They were just going to add more and add more because I kept buying.

Kathi Lipp [00:04:18]:
Yeah. It is such a pit of despair. Okay, so.

Tonya Kubo [00:04:23]:
So back to the point, right? So past lives, and then there’s the inherited stuff, which I think you see a lot more, you know, but we’ve seen that from the beginning with clutter Frey Academy, that inherited stuff is really tough.

Kathi Lipp [00:04:40]:
It’s really, really tough. And I think, yeah, past lives and future lives. Like, I bet someday, you know, like, I’m gonna keep my wedding dress because I bet my daughter’s gonna want to wear this. No, probably not. Unless your daughter has said, oh, I want to wear that, it’s probably not gonna happen. Right? Yeah. So I understand that there is a lot of angst around this, and so how do we get rid of this stuff? And I think one of the things, we know the challenges, but I have had to approach it with a very systematic approach to take some of the angst out of it. I am not.

Kathi Lipp [00:05:29]:
I lose all logical thought when it comes to some of these things. And I give myself one box for each kid where I don’t have to explain why I’m keeping it. It’s just. But I can’t keep ten boxes for each kid. I keep these boxes because right now the kids don’t want the stuff. And these are small boxes. We’re not talking huge things. But, like, my son, he’s not in his forever house.

Kathi Lipp [00:06:02]:
He lives with a bunch of roommates. And I have a ring from my grandfather. That he wants. He goes, but I don’t feel like I’m in a good position to hang on to. I’m like, I can hang on to it. And I’m also hanging on to his boo bonkie because I think everybody has a version of Boo Bonkie, which is his blue blanket that he couldn’t live without. And I don’t know that he ever cares about it. But, like, about once every couple of years, I go into that box and I’m like, oh, blue blankie.

Kathi Lipp [00:06:32]:
So you came up with some ideas about a decision tree, and I love this. It’s kind of an emotional sorting system for making these decisions. Right. So I’m going to take. And let’s talk about. We’re not going to talk about Boo Boinke, but we’re going to talk about. I’ve got an item right here, and I’ll take a picture of it to show everybody. My dad, his first paycheck at the library when, you know, he.

Kathi Lipp [00:07:07]:
I think he was probably 17 at the time. And my son’s been a librarian. Well, he’s worked at a library. He hasn’t been a librarian. That’s a very specific role.

Tonya Kubo [00:07:17]:
That’s a master’s degree right there.

Kathi Lipp [00:07:18]:
Yeah, exactly. Um, and we used to call him the guy Brarian. But we’re going to take this paycheck that I have sitting behind me that’s laminated and everything like that on a piece of wood. And I’m going to take it through. I want to take it through the decision tree process. So, um, let’s start with my dad’s paycheck. And you know what? We’re going to do that right after we take a quick break. We’re going to take a quick break.

Kathi Lipp [00:07:43]:
We’re going to listen to some sponsors who keep this podcast free, and then we’ll come right back. Okay, guys, I am back with Tonya Kubo, and we’re doing the emotional, sentimental item decision tree. So what is the first question that I am going to ask myself, Tonya?

Tonya Kubo [00:08:03]:
So for me, it is, how do I feel? Like when I’m holding this and I’m just holding something random because nobody listening can actually see what I’m holding. But when I hold this, what are the emotions that instantly bubble up? Am I feeling angst? Am I feeling hurt? Am I feeling happiness? Am I feeling joy? Like, that’s the first thing that I think needs to happen. You got to label that emotion. So how are you feeling about that paycheck, Kathi?

Kathi Lipp [00:08:34]:
It makes me happy. It just. It. You know, I’ll be honest. My dad and I didn’t have a super close relationship. He was definitely on the spectrum. Hard for him to connect engineer. But this makes me feel connected to him.

Tonya Kubo [00:08:52]:
Okay, so it makes you feel connected because that’s the. You know, the second question I would ask is, you know, why do you feel happy? So it makes you feel connected to him. He’s not here anymore. So the next question, like, absolutely doesn’t apply to this item, but it’s. But it will apply to some of our listeners items that they are evaluating, which is, you know, what is the frequency in which you use it? Like, how often are you using it?

Kathi Lipp [00:09:18]:
Yeah.

Tonya Kubo [00:09:19]:
And I’m gonna say, what’s the practicality of using it?

Kathi Lipp [00:09:23]:
Zero practicality, but it is displayed. So I feel like that’s a use. That’s. That’s a form of use for me, that it’s not just on a shelf that I’ve ignored. It’s like, no, it’s in a place that when I see it, it makes me happy.

Tonya Kubo [00:09:41]:
Well, what I would add for consideration, because that’s the other thing we know, is our listeners are great rule followers, but this decision tree is a wonderful framework for evaluating whether to keep or not keep your sentimental item. But there’s nuance to it. So, in this case, you’re not using it, but it’s displayed. It’s not taking up a ton of space. It’s a first paycheck.

Kathi Lipp [00:10:07]:
Right.

Tonya Kubo [00:10:08]:
Okay.

Kathi Lipp [00:10:08]:
Right.

Tonya Kubo [00:10:09]:
We’re not talking about a china hut chair.

Kathi Lipp [00:10:11]:
Yes, exactly.

Tonya Kubo [00:10:13]:
So I think that’s important to point out, too, we might feel a little differently if we’re talking about this gigantic china hutch that goes floor to ceiling.

Kathi Lipp [00:10:21]:
Right.

Tonya Kubo [00:10:21]:
But next, whether it’s a china hutch or it’s your dad’s first paycheck, the next question is, what’s the sentimental value associated with. Of that item? Is it because it’s attached to irreplaceable memories? Is it attached to an irreplaceable association?

Kathi Lipp [00:10:40]:
Yeah. Well, I have not kept a lot of my dad’s stuff because, you know, honestly, it wasn’t his. His rock collection. There were other people who were more connected to that. His cameras, other people more connected to that. But this one, I have very few things of his because I. I remember my dad, and I remember him with love and fondness. So I don’t need a lot of stuff around.

Kathi Lipp [00:11:09]:
But this paycheck, it’s not that it’s associated with a particular memory, but it’s associated with goodness. In my dad.

Tonya Kubo [00:11:18]:
Right. And for most of our folks who are evaluating sentimental stuff, they’re probably not looking at something that’s already displayed. They’re probably going through boxes in their garage, in a spare room, in a drawer. So what I would say if they had the same answer, though, right? Like, it’s associated with good memories. I feel good about this. I have very few things that have similar associations. Then I would say, okay, so let’s think of ways that you can preserve the memory if that item is not practical in your home. If the item is practical, then let’s talk about clever ways of displaying it.

Tonya Kubo [00:11:56]:
Like, how do we make it part of the actual intentional design of your home? And if the answer is no, like, it does not have any, you know, irreplaceable memories or associations, you know, it’s one of 22 of a similar item, then, you know, it’s. It’s time to make the hard, that hard decision about, do I really need to keep this? Do I need to keep this now?

Kathi Lipp [00:12:22]:
Yeah. So this is not part of the decision tree, but what I. A kind of rule that I’ve made for myself. Not a rule, a guideline is for somebody who is close to me. I. I can keep up to five of their items. So, you know, and obviously, if something happened to Roger, that would be blown out the water. But, you know, I’ve lost my dad in the past ten years.

Kathi Lipp [00:12:51]:
A year ago, I lost you and I lost our good friend Jen. And I have a couple of items around here that remind me of her. She sent me one time a towel that says fold in the cheese, which is from Schitt’s Creek. And it’s a little joke. And so I have a couple, but, you know, and that was a significant loss in my life. But five items is enough for anybody in my life. And I have people in my life that are very precious to me, but I haven’t lost them. And so things of my kids, that kind of things.

Kathi Lipp [00:13:32]:
Five is a good guideline for me. It doesn’t feel overstuffed, it doesn’t feel crazy, and it forces me to make decisions. So everybody has to have their own number, right?

Tonya Kubo [00:13:44]:
And what I was going to say is, I want to speak to the person right now who is like, five is not enough. Damn. I get five does not sound like very many. And, you know, you already said it’s an arbitrary number. It’s a number that works for you. It may not be the number that works for me. Maybe I need four, maybe I need eight. But the reason five is a good benchmark number is because we don’t just have one special person in our life.

Tonya Kubo [00:14:12]:
Right.

Kathi Lipp [00:14:12]:
Right.

Tonya Kubo [00:14:13]:
So you think about it. If you’re keeping five items from mom, five items from dad, five items from mom in law and dad in law, now we’ve got 20 different items that we’re having to find space for. So that’s why.

Kathi Lipp [00:14:28]:
And Tonya, let’s talk about our dog, too. Like, we’ve got all these grand. And then. Yeah. And then the things from your dog, like, it can get out of control.

Tonya Kubo [00:14:37]:
Right. So for some people, I just want to clarify that because I think for some people, they’re thinking like, five is so many because they have, you know, I don’t know, six sets of parents because of in laws and steps and all of that. And other people who might be an only child of only children is like, no, I need 20 because that just.

Kathi Lipp [00:14:56]:
Gives me 40 items. Right. So I think it’s good to have a number because then you say, am I keeping this just because I love the person, or am I keeping this because there’s significance to this item in that person?

Tonya Kubo [00:15:13]:
Right. Well, and you know me, like my latest thing that I’m all about, and I talk about this in Clutterfree Academy, and I’m talking about in clutter free for life, which is our private membership program, is I’m all about the freedom of constraints. It doesn’t matter what the number is when you set a limit, it’s clarifying because it either takes the place of one of the five items or it doesn’t.

Kathi Lipp [00:15:37]:
Right. Exactly. Exactly. And, you know, I think about the, I’ve done the, the five for our dog Jake, and one way I keep his sentimental, you know, I do this for some of our pets, is I have a picture in the house. So for pets, it’s the. The number is three. And so I keep their collar around a candle. So it’s around a can, a glass candle.

Kathi Lipp [00:16:07]:
And so I have that collar. I have a picture, and then I have an item that was important to them and that feels like enough. And by having more items, it doesn’t prove that I love Jake more. There’s no way I could have loved Jake more. But these are the things that are comforting to me. Tonya, this has been such a rich conversation, but we’re not even close to being done. Can I have you come back next week and we’re going to talk about how do you curate the emotional and sentimental items in your life? Are you willing to come back?

Tonya Kubo [00:16:40]:
Definitely. I would love to thank you, Kathi.

Kathi Lipp [00:16:42]:
Okay, friends, you’ve been listening to Clutter Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

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