by kathilipp | Jun 28, 2016 | Blog, Love Your Husband, Marriage, Proverbs 31 OBS, The Husband Project, Uncategorized |
A man’s confidence is the key to his entire world. And he gets most of his sense of confidence through two places: his work and his wife.
It’s a big responsibility (especially if his work life isn’t all that fantastic) but one that we are called to as his wife.
Proverbs 31:26
She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
When God calls us to something, He also equips us with the ability to follow through. So before you start the internal tape of all the reasons why building up his confidence isn’t really your “job,” let’s talk about what happens when we don’t.
Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
OK, so now that we have that out of the way, let’s work together to come up with SIMPLE ways to build up your man.
5 simple ways to build your husband’s confidence:
- Verbally tell him why you love him — he works hard, he plays with the kids, he has the best butt, he treats your mom like a queen, etc. SO TELL HIM!
- Kiss him every single time you are parting ways and every time you come back together.
- Pray for him every day (check out my Pinterest board for suggestions on how to pray for him).
- Grab his hand when you are walking through Lowe’s. Place your hand on his leg next time you are out to dinner. Physical touch is a big deal to our guys and not just when it’s in the bedroom.
- Brag on him in front of others! This one is a huge deal. We know a couple that is very sarcastic with each other. But the wife recently confessed that sometimes her sarcasm comes out more like a complaint or putting her man down than just a funny jest (and usually it’s intentional). She has committed to bragging on him rather than putting him down in public, even if they are having a good verbal sarcasm session among friends.
For ideas on how to brag on your man and build your husband up, I have included a download you can use to help build your man’s confidence every single day.
DOWNLOAD BY CLICKING HERE>>>
It’s GIVEAWAY time!!!
I want to give away a My Husband is a Hottie T-Shirt to two people! To win, visit my Facebook page, like it and then comment on the post at the top of my page with the question:
What’s one way you have found you are able to build your husband’s confidence?
Then, during my daily The Husband Project video on Wednesday, I’ll announce the two winners LIVE!
by kathilipp | Jun 25, 2016 | Blog, Love Your Husband, Marriage, Proverbs 31 OBS |
For those of you joining me and Proverbs 31 for The Husband Project online bible study, you’ll be coming up with a few ways to date your husband in the coming weeks. And even if you aren’t doing the Bible study, money is one of the most often stated reasons for not dating your husband on a regular basis. I put together 20 date ideas that cost you $20 or less. And in case those of you that live in a big city don’t think it’s possible, Roger and I live in San Jose, CA so we know a thing or two about inflated prices.
Download your copy of 20 Dates for $20>>>
Enjoy your weekend and go plan a date with your man!
by kathilipp | Jun 22, 2016 | Blog, Marriage, The Husband Project |
Are you excited about starting the project portion of The Husband Project? I am excited for you to get underway, and I’m so thankful to be partnering with Proverbs 31 this summer. It is going to be a summer of fun and life-giving to your marriage. But, like anything in life, it requires you to put your whole self into it. To make the most out of The Husband Project, and for the best chance at success (you know, actually doing the projects) a little prep work is highly recommended.
In the spirit of successfully accomplishing what you have now signed up to do, I’ve compiled 5 Steps help you prep for The Husband Project:
1. Find at least one friend (two is better!) to help keep you accountable for the duration of the project.
2. Look at all the projects and come up with your own personalized schedule based on upcoming travel plans, visitors, holidays, etc. (Check out the the info below on how to get the official Husband Project calendars!)
3. Share your plan with your accountability partner(s). Ask them if they have any feedback.
4. Grab your supplies! After you fill out your calendar, create a list of supplies for the activities you want to do. To be budget-conscious, you can create weekly lists ahead of time to help you prep well but also stay in your budget.
5. Pray! For your heart, for your attitude, and for your husband to be blessed through it all.
We put together handy calendars to help you prep the projects you want to do, including a filled-in and blank version of the calendar. To get your calendar, sign up for the newsletter! (and if you are already signed up to get the newsletter, your calendars should already be in your inbox!)
IT’S NOT TOO LATE!
Sign up for The Husband Project over at Proverbs 31. Even if you don’t have the book, you can follow along with us and bless your husband’s socks off for the next three weeks! Join us!
by kathilipp | Jun 17, 2016 | Blog, Friday Favorites |
Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study
At Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies, each of the leaders provide their own insights to most recent bible study. Because they are all different each of the posts are from a completely different perspective and I love their honesty! Since I know many of you are going to be doing The Husband Project Online bible study with me, this is a blog you should definitely be following in the coming weeks! http://proverbs31.org/online-bible-studies/current-study/ – Recommended by Kathi Lipp
Jennifer Dukes Lee
Jennifer Dukes Lee’s blog offers a great place to watch for God at work in a messy life. She reminds me that I am already loved and pre-approved by God. http://jenniferdukeslee.com – Recommended by Mary Lou Caskey
Allison Vesterfelt
Allison Vesterfelt’s blog walks me through how to de-clutter erroneous beliefs and unhealthy emotions. http://allisonfallon.com/ – Recommended by Cheri Gregory
Mary DeMuth
There is a lot in the press right now about sexual assault, abuse, human trafficking. Lots of questions are stirring without a lot of answers. Mary has been dealing with this topic since she was a young girl as a victim of abuse herself. She is real, honest and has some very applicable how to’s surrounding this ever growing issue. She is also incredibly insightful on other topics such as joblessness, hurt at the hand’s of other Christians and raising a family in this crazy world we live in. http://www.marydemuth.com/blog/
Shaunti Feldhahn
From marriage, to raising teens, to being a woman in the workplace, Shaunti gives practical advice from a social science perspective. Shaunti is a researcher with the goal of helping both men and women alike understand their partners and people around them better in order to live in better relationships. http://www.shaunti.com/blog – Recommended by Kathi Lipp
The Husband Project- The Online Bible Study with Proverbs 31
Just a few more days to sign up for The Husband Project Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study! If you do not have your book yet, do not worry! Sign up with Proverbs 31 and they’ll send you the first three chapters to hold you over until you get your books.
Sign up>>>
Purchase a book>>>
by kathilipp | Jun 16, 2016 | Blog, Happy Habits for Every Couple, Marriage, Proverbs 31 OBS |
Friends, we are only a few days away from launching The Husband Project with Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies. Each relationship and individuals are unique creations, so the Husband Project will look a little bit different from relationship to relationship. We have a fun way for you to personalize the projects in The Husband Project! The projects within the book are flexible enough for you to personalize for your man! Learning more about your guy can knock this experience out of the park for you both.
Download this personality quiz (without telling him why you are doing it, of course!) to find out a little more about your guy so you can make each project a special, intimate experience for you both. You’ll probably learn something new about your man, and maybe even yourself, no matter how long you have been together!
Join us!
If you haven’t signed up yet, please join us for this Online Bible Study! Find out more @ http://proverbs31.org/online-bible-studies/.
by kathilipp | Jun 13, 2016 | Blog, Guest Blog, Marriage |
guest post by Cheri Gregory
My husband is a disagreeable giver!
I know, I know.
Doesn’t sound like one of the most romantic thoughts crossing my mind after more than a quarter century of marriage.
But it’s certainly one of the most important.
This epiphany hit while I was listening to Adam Grant’s Global Leadership Summit* talk, “Give and Take: A New Perspective on Leadership,” in which he describes four types of people:
- Agreeable givers
- Agreeable takers
- Disagreeable takers
- Disagreeable givers
Agreeable givers are everyone’s favorites, to the point they often become doormats. Agreeable takers are “fakers” who can fool us into treating them as givers. Disagreeable takers are pretty quickly labeled as jerks.
But it’s the disagreeable givers who, according to Grant, are the most misunderstood and undervalued.
They invest endlessly in the people and causes they care deeply about.
They just don’t care about how they come across.
What Happens When I Get Hung Up on How
A few weeks ago, a scenario that’s played out thousands of times in our marriage started to run according to script.
Daniel and I were in the kitchen, and he said something that ticked me off. I started to react, but in the nick of time remembered I’m trying to ask myself what problem is he trying to solve?
Which forced me to recognize I was all set to react without knowing the facts. (And while I may be a Highly Sensitive Person, I’m an HSP who scores high in analytical reasoning. I expect my emotions to be grounded in data, thank you very much!)
As Proverbs 18:13 so bluntly puts it
To answer before listening—
that is folly and shame.
So I asked myself, If I’m not about to react to facts, what I am I about to react to?
The answer was simple:
I’m about to react not to what Daniel said.
Or even why he said it.
I’m about to react to how Daniel said what he said.
I’m waaaaaaaay too hung up on how.
Focus on Why and What Before How
Now, I’m not suggesting that how other people speak to us isn’t important.
I am simply confessing I have been way too hung up on how, to the exclusion of why and what.
When I paused in the kitchen to ask myself why did he say that? I knew, without even asking Daniel, that the over-arching answer would be:
- because he loves God, and/or
- because he cares about what’s right, and/or
- because he is committed to me and to our family
And when I asked myself, what did he actually say? the answer was something simple and reasonable.
Sure, it’s important in any relationship* that we discuss how we communicate with each other. But how doesn’t deserve top billing, at least not for me.
I’ve become convicted that my knee-jerk reaction to my husband’s how prevents me from hearing his why and what.
When I find myself getting all bent out of shape over how — and I start gearing up to turn lawyer, judge, and jury — I’m telling myself:
Don’t react without the facts.
Ask why.
Ask what.
Only then, ask how.
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is equipping women to relate and create with less drama, more delight.
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and the upcoming Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (23), also opposite personalities.
Cheri is the host of “Grit ‘n’ Grace: Good Girls Breaking Bad Rules,” a podcast for women tired of trying so hard to measure up. She blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.
*Note: This blog post reflects one woman’s experiences, reflections, and insights in a marriage between two well-intentioned but flawed individuals. It does not attempt to speak to any relationship that includes abuse, addiction, adultery, abandonment, and/or apathy. Such relationships are beyond the scope of this post and may need the intervention of a trained counselor.
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