by kathilipp | Apr 5, 2018 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, The Mom Project |
Welcome to The Mom Project. For the next few weeks, we’ll be launching my book The Mom Project by hosting several mom friends who have tried it out for themselves. They read the book, completed a project from the book with their kids, and wrote all about it. And these are real moms. Busy moms. Unsure-of-themselves moms. Single moms. Special needs moms. Working moms. Stay-at-home moms. They do the hard work of mommy-hood every day, and have found fun ways to connect with their kids in the simple activities found in The Mom Project. Read on to hear their experience:
The Project
I’m an encourager by nature so it’s not hard for me to look for the positive in my children. But I have discovered a major weakness: undivided attention. From the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning, I am on the go – and on my phone. I check work email while I make coffee, scroll through the day’s headlines while brushing my teeth and message back and forth with friends and colleagues on social media while getting everyone else in the family up and ready for the day. I never sit down.
I can’t count the number of times my 3-year-old has asked me to just look at her. My 8-year-old has figured out that my phone is the way to connect with me. When she wants attention, she asks me to look something up on my phone or offers to show me a YouTube video. She’s even started asking if I’ll read books to her from my phone. It’s hard to look for the positive in my children when I am not making eye contact with them.
Then I started reading The Mom Project, which offers easy ideas for connecting with your kids that benefit the whole family. For our project, we adopted a phone-free Sunday, and I’m here to share the impact it’s made.
The Plan
Just the idea of this project put a pit in the bottom of my stomach. A whole day without a phone? Impossible. What if work needed me? My husband, Brian, suggested we both go phone-free with some lenience. We could be on our phones if the kids were asleep or entertaining themselves but the rest of time, we’d focus on each child individually and together as a family. Throughout the day, we would intentionally look for positive traits and actions to acknowledge and praise.
Results
My older daughter takes equestrian lessons every Sunday. Usually, Dad takes both girls while I stay home to catch up around the house. This time, we decided to divide and conquer. He’d take Lily and instead of sitting in the car while she rode, he would go to the arena and cheer her on. I would stay home with Abby and be fully present. While Brian and Lily were gone, Abby and I made muffins, cleaned the kitchen and played dress-up. At the end of the day, I made dinner while the girls spent time with Dad. Then he led bath time while I tidied up and I got the privilege of snuggles and reading bedtime stories (from real books with pages, not on my Kindle app).
What I Learned
Our girls have different personalities and needs for us to fulfill. The nuances are lost on us when we’re distracted by devices. In making muffins with Abby, I learned how important it is to do things herself. Complimenting her on taking initiative without worrying about the mess she was making with flour EVERYWHERE was hard for me but left her glowing. Her joy melted my anxiety and impatience. Her love for dress-up role-playing allowed me to observe the richness of her internal world. Until Brian fully focused on Lily’s riding, neither of us realized her fear of falling was preventing her progression. Being the dad that he is, Brian set out to solve the problem by teaching Lily to ride a bike that afternoon. After 30 minutes of encouragement and applause for getting up after every fall, Lily was riding up and down the street all by herself. Abby was jumping up and down on the sidewalk cheering for her big sister, and Lily beamed with pride.
Extra Tips
Looking for the positive is easy when your kids are compliant, but what happens when they aren’t? If you’re going to try this project at home, the first thing you’ll want to do is decide how you’ll handle the situation if your children won’t follow the plan. For instance, Lily wasn’t interested in time with me. At first my feelings were hurt. She always wants my time when I don’t have it to spare. Rejection is tough but instead of pouting, I told Lily I was proud of her for feeling free to speak her mind (she said “no thank you” – at least she used her manners).
WIN!
Ready for your chance to win a copy of The Mom Project? To be entered into the drawing, just comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win.
*Only US readers are eligible to receive the free book.
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This is written by Tonya, a full-time working mom of two spirited girls. For our readers, Tonya is offering a free download of Why You Need a Mommy Dream Team. When she’s not managing the Clutter-Free Academy Facebook group, she writes about overcoming comparison, clutter and compulsion at www.tonyakubo.com.
by kathilipp | Apr 4, 2018 | Clutter Free, Getting Started |
Living clutter free is never one and done. You have to keep at it daily. But there are times when you want (or need) to know how to declutter fast. When your parents are coming to visit (or worse, when your in-laws are coming to visit…) friends are coming over after a crazy-busy week of work, kids and life, or you need to find that bill but can’t uncover it in the piles around your house. We’ve all had our declutter emergencies.
And while decluttering your house fast is great, what you don’t want to do is recover from stashing stuff in drawers and bookshelves. We call that the Dash and Stash around here. It helps for a day, but the next time you are looking for your car keys, you’re sunk because you “stashed” them in the basket of dog toys.
So here is how to declutter fast, get rid of the things you don’t need or love, while still being able to find all the stuff you do need tomorrow.
How to Declutter Fast Step 1. Gather Your Tools
This is a system you will be using in every room in your house, so I want you to gather up everything you’ll need right now:
Set up your iPod and a timer (you can use the one on your cell phone or your oven), three cardboard boxes, a garbage bag, and a recycle bag, Mark one cardboard box “Other Rooms,” one “Put Away,” and one “Give Away.” (Or, if decluttering this way becomes a routine, check out our 3 Bag System that you can pack up when you’re done and store until tomorrow when you declutter again.)
How to Declutter Fast Step 2. Start Sorting
Set fifteen minutes on your timer and pick a spot to clean out (an area no larger than what you can sort through in fifteen minutes).
Go through the area and use the three boxes to sort the contents.
If you are stuck on an item, ask yourself the Clutter Free 3 Clarifying Questions to determine whether that thing is clutter:
- Do I love it?
- Do I use it?
- Would I buy it again?
Other Rooms Box
Anything that doesn’t belong in the area you’re cleaning goes into the “Other Rooms” box. This includes toys in the kitchen, dog brushes in the living room, report cards in the bathroom, or dishes in the bedroom.
Put Back Box
This is the box where you put things that belong in the area you’re cleaning, but they need to be put back in the right place. If you’re straightening up your bedroom, examples of items might be clean clothes on the floor, shoes under your bed, or scarves hanging over a bedroom chair. These all go in the “Put Back” box so once you have your bedroom in order, you just put those items back where they belong.
Give Away Box
Clothes your kids have outgrown? Check. Videos your family will never watch again? Check. There is huge freedom in giving stuff away. Here is a great set of criteria for keeping or giving away an item:
- Is it something you or a family member is currently using or wearing?
- Is it something that makes you or a family member happy when they see it?
- Is it something you or a family member will definitely use in the next six months?
If you can answer yes to one or more of those questions, find a home for the item. If not, away it goes.
And a friendly reminder: don’t donate garbage. It costs charities time and money to get rid of stuff you don’t want. Don’t be that person. Donate only those things that are in decent condition and are worthy of reselling.
Garbage Bag
Anything you don’t want and isn’t worthy of being donated or can’t be recycled goes in here.
Recycle Bag
Recycling regulations vary from city to city, so check with your local municipality or disposal service if you have any question about what should be recycled and what shouldn’t.
How to Declutter Fast Step 3. Deal with Your Boxes
Once you’ve cleaned out your chosen area, take the “Other Rooms” box and put away all the stuff where it belongs. Take the “Give Away” box to where you gather stuff to donate or directly to your car to be donated the next time you run errands. Now, since your area is clean and organized, put anything in the “Put Back” box into the spot it’s supposed to go.
And the most important part: when you are done with decluttering, put your boxes away. (You don’t want those to become clutter!)
If this feels totally overwhelming to you, consider having a supportive friend or someone you hire go through these steps with you. There’s a lot of freedom in a fresh start.
The beautiful thing about decluttering? When you do it every day, it keeps you from wanting to bring things into the house in the first place. The more you declutter, the more you will want to keep your space as clutter free as possible. It’s this daily action that will help keep you out of the Target dollar aisle, keep you from buying those shoes just because they were on sale, and keep you from holding onto that second DVD of Legally Blond just in case.
by kathilipp | Apr 4, 2018 | Clutter Free, Clutter Free Heart, God |
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)
I walked into the beautiful home of a new friend for the very first time. She is a single mother of 3 young children, successful entrepreneur and multi-business owner. As I was ooo-ing and ahh-ing over the impeccable decor and the stunning architecture of her home, she repeatedly asked me to overlook the “mess.” After a couple mentions about the kids’ toys I stopped and quickly replied, “One of my superpowers is that I only see messes in my own house, not in others’!”
It’s so true. So many of us have unlimited mercy for other people’s “messes,” whether that be a cluttered home, a wayward child, a disconnected marriage or even difficulties getting pregnant, but when it comes to the messes in our own lives, we seem to have run out of compassion. Why are we so hard on ourselves? We can be rocking it in so many areas of life, but we beat ourselves up over the one or two areas that may be a little bit messy.
God’s Word is clear. The second greatest commandment that Jesus gives in Mark 12:31 is for us to love others as we love ourselves. Leave it to Jesus to be able to strategically maneuver two crucial commandments into one simple message. In order to love others well, we first have to be able to love ourselves well! No matter who you are, the number of degrees you may have, or the amount of talent you may possess, it isn’t realistic or possible for any of us to have success in every area of our lives all at the same time.
It sounds ridiculous even saying it right now, yet, we can become our own biggest critics when life isn’t going as planned.
Do what Jesus says. Love yourself and others well. Have mercy for your own mess.
One Small Win: Today, I want you to think of one area of your life that is messy. Now, take a look at it through the superpower of mercy, just as you would see it in someone else’s life. How do you see your mess now?
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As a Couples Life & Fertility Support Coach and 3x Surrogate that has carried five children for three families dealing with infertility, Tiffany Jo Baker spends her time speaking, writing and helping women and couples birth their dreams and navigate the road and relationships well while trying to conceive. Married for 18 years to her polar opposite, yet best friend, together they have two teenage girls and have built a life and family based on faith, core values, humor and forgiveness. She loves to laugh, eat french fries, find amazing deals and create new memories.?? www.TiffanyJoBaker.com
by kathilipp | Apr 3, 2018 | The Mom Project |
Friends, I am excited to share with you that Focus on the Family is running an episode today in which I share tips on “Practical Ideas for Connecting with Your Kids”. Head on over as we discuss some helpful suggestions for developing strong relationships with your children from my new book The Mom Project: 21 Days to a More Connected Family. I hope you enjoy and share with your friends.
Check out the episode by clicking here.
by kathilipp | Apr 3, 2018 | Podcast |
When a member of your family is disgnosed with special needs, it can be a shock. It is not what you expected for your life, and you can feel cheated of the life you imagined.
Diane Dokko Kim knows this feeling all too well. Shortly after her family committed to full time ministry, they recieved a crushing diagnosis for one of their children. Diane stuffed her feelings for years, but has now seen that although God has not chosen to heal her son, He has chosen to heal her.
Join us as Kathi and Diane chat about how friends can come alongside special needs families in very practical ways like being honest in your struggle to have the desire to help, but not knowing how. They discuss how friends can ask for grace and to be taught how to help and serve, and how the church can also follow the biblical mandate to serve special needs families as well.
Resources Mentioned
Unbroken Faith
Help Wish List
Giveaway
For your chance to win one of 3 copies of Unbroken Faith, tell us how has someone shown up for you as a special needs familyr or something you have done to support a special needs family.
*Available to US residents only
Diane has served over 25 years in bi-vocational church ministry. In 2004, her first son was diagnosed with autism at age two and ADHD, which triggered profound personal, professional and spiritual crises.
In 2008, she began serving the disabled community as a special needs ministry consultant, equipping churches to become fully-inclusive faith communities, leading parent support groups, and speaking at churches and conferences. She is honored to partner with the ministries of Joni and Friends as a national speaker and ministry ambassador.
In 2012, Diane launched an online ministry, with a passion is to comfort others with the comfort she received from Christ (2 Corinthians 1:4). Her writing has been featured in Orange’s Parent Cue, Parenting Magazine, Dandelion
Magazine, and SpecialNeedsParenting.net. She strives to empower weary parents to experience the timeless relevance of God’s Word applied to the gritty realities of special needs family life, and to view their journey as a unique opportunity for spiritual growth and discipleship.
Whether by diagnosis, a death—or the death of a dream— everyone gets “crippled” by something. No one escapes the jagged edges of a broken planet, unscathed. All believers struggle to reconcile faith with disappointment. Sin and brokenness may steal, kill, and destroy indiscriminately. But Jesus is an equal opportunity Healer and Redeemer.
Diane and her husband, Eddie, live in the heart of Silicon Valley with their two young sons.
by kathilipp | Mar 29, 2018 | Clutter Free, Clutter Free Heart, Identity |
You are precious and honored in my sight, and… I love you. (Isaiah 43:4, NIV)
All it takes is an instant for me to forget my royal identity and start labeling myself with lies. Like the time I froze up over a spatula while hosting a baby shower. I’d opened the doors of our tiny rental house, keenly aware of the four-foot scrape on the linoleum floor, and other dings and dents left by previous tenants. The pressure of playing hostess to a bunch of southern belles who knew how to act at a baby shower (way better than I did) was stifling. That’s when it happened. Someone asked for my cake server. Knowing I didn’t have one in the wedding-gift stash, I rummaged around in the junk drawer for an alternative. When I finally produced a semi-melted, black plastic spatula, I saw what looked like disdain as the other ladies scrutinized it.
And that’s when I froze. My spirit crushed as I accessed my most painful memories of being bullied in junior high school. In an instant, I was that sixth grade girl, fearful, weak, a nobody. I harshly labeled myself:
“You don’t fit in.”
“You can’t do anything right.”
“You’re unacceptable.”
How God Sees Me
Elijah knew his unique identity in the Lord. But he also knew labels. A prophet of God, he had a special message. One filled with heart for God’s people. And yet, King Ahab, with all his royal clout, labeled Elijah in 1 Kings 18:17: “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?” Ouch.
I love how Elijah dealt with this, and the general dejection of running for his life:
- He took care of business – divine business. Read the story of Elijah praying for fire down from heaven in 1 Kings 18:21-39. It’s awesome.
- He got alone and took his heart to God. “I have had enough, LORD.” (1 Kings 19:4)
And what did God do? He provided for his needs. He fed him bread for the journey ahead.
So what can I learn from Elijah, who was human, just like I am? (James 5:17)
- When I feel unloved, I take my hurts to God. He holds my hand and collects my tears in a bottle. (Isaiah 42:6, Psalm 56:8)
- When I feel like nobody, I remember that I am precious and honored in God’s sight. (Isaiah 43:4)
- When I feel like I don’t fit in, I remember He has not rejected me. (Isaiah 41:9, 10)
Friend, take your hurts to God. He’ll give you bread, sustenance, for the journey.
One Small Step
What lies are your inner bullies telling you? Are you listening to and affirming them?
Prayerfully write down who you are in God. Post on your bathroom mirror, your phone background, and above your kitchen sink. Let these beautiful truths sink in as they become louder than the mind clutter bullies.
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Kelli Pavlovec draws from her experience as a work from home mom to help smart moms get unstuck and find their best self at www.twohourmom.com. For a free worksheet on 7 Ways to Pursue Your Life Dreams, Even While You’re a Mom, click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 28, 2018 | Blog, Clutter Free, Home |
Join us for a FB Live with KariAnne Wood, March 28 at 7 pm PDT
Decorating. Ugh. This is a stumbling block for most of us self-proclaimed “clutter people.” Because how do you create style when you are laser-beam focused on getting rid of substance?
Controlling the clutter can already feel overwhelming. But to style my home? To not only have a functional home but a beautiful home? I love the idea of it, but I’ll be the first to say that without the right guide, it can be completely overwhelming. Here are some questions I wrestle with when it comes to creating a cozy and cute home AND being clutter free at the same time:
- I see cute prints in all the magazines, but any print feels overwhelming. How do I get overcome my minimalist white-walls, white-space vibe and incorporate a print or—GULP!—two?
- As soon as I go to spend money on something I love, I mentally begin adding up the cost of all the other items I’ve bought that I now consider clutter. How can I embrace new design and get over the guilt of past decorating mistakes?
- I feel overwhelmed by the number of choices I need to make and struggle to find a starting point. How do I pick which room in my home to start with, and where can I focus my efforts to make the biggest bang for my buck?
Maybe, like me, decorating fills you with a bit of buyer’s remorse before you’ve even bought a thing. (Or maybe after you bought four of one thing!)
If you find yourself wanting to decorate, but are scared of the process, I want to invite you to my Facebook Live event with KariAnne Wood, author of the new book “The DIY Home Planner: Practical Tips and Inspiring Ideas to Decorate It Yourself” and blogger behind the acclaimed Thistlewood Farms.
She has promised to help my readers sort through the overwhelm and give us key strategies to help us all create cute and comfy homes while keeping clutter at bay. She’ll give us pointers on:
- Where to start if you hate everything in your home.
- What to get rid of and what to re-purpose.
- How to make smart (not cluttery) choices.
- The best place to shop.
Seriously, you guys. You will not want to miss this event. And I’m so excited because not only is she giving us all of this DIY wisdom, but she’s also giving one of our lucky readers a copy of the The DIY Home Planner.
This book serves as an all-in-one resource for inspiration, organization, creative encouragement and personalization so you can have confidence in every decorating decision you make. I can’t wait to give it away to one of my readers for free!
To join our live event and get your name in for the free book, go to the Clutter Free Academy Facebook group over at https://www.facebook.com/groups/clutterfreeacademy/ on March 28 at 7 pm PST. Be sure to comment once you’re live to say hello and let us know you’re on!
Can’t wait to see you—and can’t wait to help you make your home cozy, cute and, of course, clutter free.
Kathi
by kathilipp | Mar 27, 2018 | Giveaways, Podcast, The Mom Project |
We are broken people, parenting broken people.
Our parenting needs to be infused with grace, not just for our kids, but for ourselves as parents too. Join Kathi, Cheri Gregory and Eric MacPherson as they chat about focusing on what is going well in your parenting, how you can’t be all things to your kids, and how you can never go wrong with focusing on your relationships with your kids instead of your regrets and failures.
Just listening to this podcast shows you’re a much better mom than you think you are!
Resources Mentioned
Barking Up the Wrong Tree
Put the Disciple in Discipline
Giveaway
For your chance to win one of three copies of Kathi’s upcoming book, The Mom Project, tell us your biggest mom challenge in the comments below.
*Available to US only
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and Overwhelmed. Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.
Erin MacPherson lives in Austin, Texas with her husband Cameron, her sons Joey and Will and her daughter Kate. She is the author of “The Christian Mama’s Guide Series“, a staff writer for Dun & Bradstreet and a freelancer for publications like Thriving Family Magazine, MOPS MomSense, FamilyLife Magazine, Daily Guideposts and BEMag. She blogs about her life, her kids and her faith at ChristianMamasGuide.com.
by kathilipp | Mar 26, 2018 | Clutter Free, tips and ideas, Waiting |
One of the things that has changed my house and my mind about clutter more than any other thing is what I’m calling “microsorting.”
In my previous life (like five years ago), when I was waiting in a drive through at Starbucks, or waiting for my oatmeal in the microwave to finish heating, I would jump on my phone and check Facebook. Now, I microsort.
Microsorts are not our typical 15 minute Clutter Free sessions. These aren’t even five minutes. These are the seconds where I’m waiting for something to heat up, power up, and finish up.
As an example, when I’m waiting for my coffee to brew in the morning (I set it the night before, but I’m almost always up before my alarm) I straighten up the coffee area, or refill the ground coffee container, replace coffee flavoring container that is running low (I love sugar-free coconut).
What I love about microsorts is that these are little patches of time that come up all day long. In those tiny pockets of time, you can accomplish so much. The other thing I love? This helps you prepare for the next day, or the next time you are cooking, or the next time you’ll be in that area. Tomorrow, when I get my coffee, the ground coffee container will be full, I’ll have my flavorings, and the area will be clean and tidy and greet me well in the morning. It is my best way to be kind to my future self.
So here are 50 ways to microsort throughout your day:
Waiting in the Kitchen
Whether you’re waiting to take something out of the oven or for those last 30 seconds on the microwave, or maybe it’s waiting for your slowpoke kids to finally finish eating, there are tons of things to do with that extra 30 seconds:
- Unload part of the dishwasher
- Sort your silverware drawer
- Look at dates of food on a shelf in the fridge
- Look at dates of food on a shelf in the pantry
- Sort through your utensil drawer
- Take out the trash
- Take out the recycling
- Wipe off a counter
- Scrub out your sink
- Wipe down an appliance
- Put water in the coffee pot for tomorrow
- Refill a canister (with flour, sugar, etc.)
- Start a shopping list for the next time you go to the store
- Restock dog/cat food
Waiting in the Living Room
Maybe you’re watching real, live TV with (gasp) commercials. Here is what you can do in the living room while you wait:
- Fold blankets or quilts in that room
- Sort through remotes
- Fluff pillows on the couch
- Sort mail
- Get rid of 5 magazines
- Declutter a shelf on a book case – donate five books
- Sort DVDs – donate five that your family never watches
- Hang up any coats that have been discarded in this room
- Get rid of any cords that you don’t use anymore
Waiting for People
I seemed to spend much of my kids’ elementary school years standing by the front door yelling, “Come on!!! Let’s GOOOOOO…” Why not multitask with the yelling and get some things done?
- Clean off your entry table
- Clean off some apps on your phone you never use
- Sweep your front porch
- Restock dog bags (for cleanups during walks)
Waiting in Your Car
We seem to wait in our cars for all kinds of reasons:
For the kids to get out of practice
For the tank to get filled up
For Starbucks to finish your order
For Walmart to bring out your groceries (that you so cleverly ordered ahead…):
- Clean out trash in your front seat
- Create a bag for things that need to be taken into the house
- Go through receipts in your wallet and pitch what you don’t need
- Buy a six pack of water and keep it in your trunk for emergencies
- Sort through your glove box
- Throw away five things in your trunk
Waiting in Your Bathroom
Kids taking a bath. (Obviously, depending on the age of the little ones and their ability to sit upright) or waiting for the shower to warm up:
- Get rid of five empty bottles
- Sort through part of a drawer
- Check expired meds
- Inventory shampoos and conditioners
- Get rid of five products you don’t use anymore
Waiting in Your Bedroom
Waiting for your spouse to come to bed or waiting for him to get ready to go:
- Sort your bedside table
- Sort your underwear drawer – pitch anything you wouldn’t want to be seen at the doctor’s in
- Get rid of one pair of PJs that don’t make you feel awesome
- Pull 5 things from your closet that you don’t wear to donate to charity
Waiting in Your Laundry Area
I hate ironing, so I spend a lot of time waiting for the dryer to beep so that I can grab the shirts like a ninja so that I don’t have to set up the ironing board:
- Match two pairs of socks
- Wipe down the top of the washer and dryer
- Inventory what you need to replenish in that area
Waiting in Your Office
Waiting for a friend to type out a huge Facebook message, waiting for a video to download or even just an app:
- File or recycle five pieces of paper
- Test out five pens to see if they have ink – pitch the ones that don’t
- Return one email
- Update your to-do list
- Inventory office supplies
Those little bits of time can add up – make them add up to a clutter free home.
What are some of the ways that you use pockets of time?
Want to get Clutter Free? Join us in our Facebook Group Clutter Free Academy
by kathilipp | Mar 21, 2018 | Clutter Free, Clutter Free Heart, Identity |
Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours (Isaiah 61:7, NIV).
Before I could change my mind, I scooped up my bathroom scale and tossed it into the box labeled, “Goodwill.”
I took a picture of the giveaway box containing a perfectly good bathroom scale (one I’d used daily, sometimes multiple times) and sent it to my friend, Melissa. “Goodbye, bossy box!” I captioned it.
Though technically not house clutter, it did represent a whole heap of heart clutter.
After sharing with Melissa my struggles about shame over my weight, I realized I had become a slave to a digital number. My mood each day depended on whether that number went up or down.
“Has it been working for you so far?” Melissa had asked. I had to agree with her; it hadn’t helped me lose weight or have a healthy relationship with food. It only added to the weight of shame I’d been carrying. I plunked the box into the garage and decided to focus on other markers of health success.
Since my decluttering session, my mood has been a lot lighter. I have the freedom to engage in self care (exercising to feel better and sleep better, rather than punishing myself for a number on a box). I base my success on how good and healthy I feel rather than a fluctuating number.
Shame only serves to weigh us down rather than to help us grow and serve the purpose God created us for (Ephesians 2:10). Before we can ever deal with the exterior problem, we have to throw off the heart clutter holding us back.
Often, items cluttering up our home are tangible evidence we’re carrying around too much shame in our hearts. To the naked eye, it looks like a bathroom scale or 50 bottles of lotion you’ll never use or 6 old phones sitting in your top drawer. But down under the useless stuff, there’s shame involved. Your clutter might represent bad financial decisions, abusive relationships, or other poor choices—any number of things we chronically kick ourselves over.
Once we recognize an item triggers shame in our hearts, it’s easier to toss it. We can’t change whatever caused the shame in the past, but we can make positive, nurturing changes that help us live in a joyful present. Without the weight of shame, we are free to go out and do what we were made to do in the world.
One Small Win
Think of one item in your house you keep, not because it serves you well, but out of shame. Imagine the feeling of lifting the weight of shame off of you when you get it out of your house. Take a deep breath, and do it!
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Lyneta Smith and her husband Doug live near Nashville, TN. When not entertaining their adult children or caring for a mischievous Boston terrier and opinionated tortoiseshell cat, they’re typing away on their computers or doing teaching/mentoring ministries in their church. You can read more from Lyneta at LynetaSmith.com.
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This is written by Tonya, a full-time working mom of two spirited girls. For our readers, Tonya is offering a free download of Why You Need a Mommy Dream Team. When she’s not managing the Clutter-Free Academy Facebook group, she writes about overcoming comparison, clutter and compulsion at www.tonyakubo.com.
