Are you worn out from battling clutter and not seeing the progress you’d hoped for? In this heartfelt episode, Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo explore the reality of declutter fatigue and why, for so many women, the journey can feel never-ending. If you’re feeling stuck,...
#686 – Declutter Once and For All: Why Your Home’s Chaos Keeps Sneaking Back
#686 – Declutter Once and For All: Why Your Home’s Chaos Keeps Sneaking Back
Are you tired of feeling like you’re living on an endless treadmill of tidying up, only to have chaos sneak right back in? This week on the Clutter Free Podcast, Kathi dives deep into the secret reason behind recurring clutter—and why baskets and labels alone aren’t the fix your soul is craving. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or ashamed of your mess, you’re not alone. Tune in for practical, faith-filled strategies that break the cycle for good, plus real talk on battling perfectionism, overcoming guilt, and creating a peaceful haven without losing your mind or your faith. Whether you’re managing family clutter or just wondering if you’ll ever find the bottom of the laundry pile, this episode will inspire you to reclaim your home, your peace, and your sense of possibility. Grab your coffee (and maybe a basket or two), and let’s start decluttering for good—together!
Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest
Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.
Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.
Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.
Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”
Order your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here.
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Meet Our Co-Host
Tonya Kubo
Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A professional community strategist, she believes everyone deserves to have a place online where they feel like they belong. Raised by a hoarder, Tonya knows firsthand the pain and isolation that comes from living in conditions others don’t understand. She wants better for her family and her cluttery peeps, which is why she is passionate about the compassionate slow-and-steady approach that makes Clutter Free unique. She lives in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit tonyakubo.com to find out more about her community work, or email her at tonya@kathilipp.org to discuss the Clutter Free Academy podcast and programs.
Transcript
Kathi Lipp (00:10)
Hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps every day to live with less clutter and more life. And I am here with the queen of decluttering. She has dethroned the clutter in her own life. It is Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya.
Tonya Kubo (00:28)
Hey, Kathi.
Kathi Lipp (00:30)
I should always mention you and I are still on the journey. Nothing has been settled. are still, we are not just founders of the group, we are also members. But we are, I would say my life looks radically different than when I started on this journey 15 years ago. Your journey’s been closer to what, eight years?
Tonya Kubo (00:55)
No, actually my journey has been, so I can always time it with Abby because I started when she was six months old. And so she is 11 now.
Kathi Lipp (01:01)
? right, okay.
okay. So you’ve been on this train for a while and you’re feeling the difference, right?
Tonya Kubo (01:14)
Definitely. But you know, one of the things that you said early on, know, as long as as long as you live with other people, you will always be on the journey.
Kathi Lipp (01:25)
Can I just say I Think I might be worse off left to my own devices not that mr. Roger doesn’t create some messes every once in a while but I act better around him he you know He just like Josh Groban. It was our wedding song you raised me up He raises me up out of my clutter and you know keeps me on the straight and narrow he he’s a good person in that
Tonya Kubo (01:44)
Mm.
Kathi Lipp (01:51)
And it’s so appropriate we’re talking about that today because we’re gonna talk about the room that I share with Roger. It is the bedroom. Now, we’re not talking about it like that, friends, but ? we are talking about, I know, I’m sorry, this is not clutter-free after dark. ?
Tonya Kubo (02:10)
First
influence on you, Kathi! We always get inappropriate. We had the underwear episode, now we have a bedroom episode.
Kathi Lipp (02:12)
No.
Ha
Tonya Kubo (02:22)
And moose, moose does not approve of our behavior right now.
Kathi Lipp (02:26)
Okay guys, you know what if if I stop this podcast every time Moose barks today We are not going to get through it. And here’s the thing. We have people That have just put a new roof on our house. So I thought it’s fine to record today But they are coming and doing the cleanup work and moose things they because of that they should all die and so I’ve
I have one window open in the house that she can’t see out of everything else is shut down. It’s like a cave in here. Okay, and because I’m in the bedroom, but she’s on the bed and she can see outside if or she just assumes that things are happening outside anyway, let’s talk about the bedroom because here’s the thing friends sleep is the foundation of health ? they sit I read something recently like
The lack of sleep that many Americans have is having the same damage as what smoking was in the 70s and being alive and conscious in the 70s. Let me tell you, there was a lot of smoking going on and it was not good. Yeah, I’m the only person I know who’s like when I smell a Newport light or a Newport, I’m like, ? that reminds me of childhood. That’s not good, people. It’s not good. ?
Tonya Kubo (03:27)
Mm-hmm.
was a lot of smoking.
haha
Kathi Lipp (03:49)
So, Tonya, I don’t know about you, but for me, my bedroom can be the dumping ground. And I thought, I was gonna say, I think I kinda know about you, but I didn’t wanna call you out without calling myself out first. Yeah.
Tonya Kubo (03:58)
Always, always.
- Well,
it’s like one of those things where it’s not just, it’s everybody’s dumping ground, right? You know, we’ve talked about this before because the house is, this house in particular is small. Cause our bedroom has not always been the dumping ground in every house that we have lived in. But because my workstation is in our bedroom, like,
Kathi Lipp (04:13)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Tonya Kubo (04:30)
Everybody wants to pile stuff for mom to see and everybody knows mom will see it if it’s in here.
Kathi Lipp (04:34)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Well, and can we just say this is becoming a reality for, you know, for a long time, Roger had his office in our bedroom and I was more of like, I’m at the kitchen table. I’m, I’m working in the living room. I’m working at Starbucks. But when we got rid of some kids, Roger took over an office and because he knew his situation was he needed, you know, soundproofing and quiet and stuff like that.
Throughout the day I could schedule mine but for a lot of us our office is now in the bedroom and So this is becoming a reality for it all of us. I I knew that It it was a problem You know as I have not been feeling a hundred percent recently and I’m pretty good normally about getting dishes downstairs but when Roger said
Tonya Kubo (05:14)
Mm-hmm.
Kathi Lipp (05:33)
You know, I’ve come, I’ve looked all over the house. We are, I can’t find any glasses. And I had a stash of glasses in the bedroom that he couldn’t see. I’m like, okay, that’s not good. It’s not good because it is the stash and dash. And I don’t know, I feel like my bedroom, it’s my favorite place to hang out too. It’s like, it’s where I rest, I recharge. I know that’s not it for everybody. But why do bedrooms,
Tonya Kubo (05:55)
Hmm.
Kathi Lipp (06:02)
Become the chaos zones. ? I think it’s the one room we can close the door on when company comes and Nobody’s allowed in there. Like you can’t do that with your bathroom because Tonya you have one bathroom. So Yeah ? Plus it’s the place where we get dressed and undressed. It’s it’s laundry limbo and ? I think also
Tonya Kubo (06:17)
I have one bathroom.
Mm-hmm.
Kathi Lipp (06:29)
It’s the space that’s ours so that when ? we need to put something somewhere and we don’t know what to do with it, I feel like the default is the bedroom because at least it’s in my space. It’s not in the common space.
Okay, we’re doing the great bedroom decluttering reset. We’re gonna do this for five days. It’s Monday through Friday. ? And so I wanna give you some ideas as you approach this. ? Day number one, Monday, we are going to clean our nightstands. You know how passionate I am about a clear nightstand. Do you have a traditional nightstand, Tonya?
Tonya Kubo (07:12)
don’t, Brian does.
Kathi Lipp (07:14)
Okay, so what would you do instead of the nightstand? What would be your space?
Tonya Kubo (07:18)
?
yeah, so, so the dresser is close to my side of the bed. So I just use like a little piece of the dresser.
Kathi Lipp (07:22)
okay.
Okay, that’s really really smart. Okay, so here’s what I want you to think about guys Are there things on or in your nightstand that do not belong there? Are there things you need to reconfigure? So I I want you to think about decluttering but also part of decluttering is Do you have old cords there that don’t need to be there? is there something about your nightstand that bugs you? Do you have a working lamp there?
Or a non working lamp that you need to rethink. How can you make your nightstand? The thing that it’s supposed to be now for me the thing it’s supposed to be is a place for my glasses The top place for my glasses my drink to charge my phone We got really fancy nightstands not too long ago that have a place for the cord You know, so you can plug it you plug in your nightstand
and you can charge your cell phone there. I never would have done that until we got the universal cords, but now that we have universal cords, I’m all in, baby. I’m very excited about that. ? But I will tell you, it is a great collector of nonsense, and I need to go through some of that nonsense. My first drawer is things like ? my vitamins and a couple of medications I take each night. It has my… ?
you know, night basket. I’ve talked about it before. So I’ve got this little basket that has ? something to pull my hair back. It has face wipes. It has face cream. It has ? teeth wipes for when I’m just, I just can’t, I just can’t. ? It’s got all of that kind of stuff. So that’s the first drawer. The bottom drawer are things like a shoe horn, just weird stuff that you need and you need to know where it’s at. So that’s gonna be
Tonya Kubo (09:04)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Kathi Lipp (09:17)
? day one. ? Okay day number two decluttering drawers, so I I What I would like to suggest is that you set a timer for 15 minutes and maybe that’s one drawer for you Or maybe that’s three drawers, but it’s not going to be all the drawers. Let’s be super super clear
And I want you to start with the drawer that bugs you the most. Tonya, what drawer bugs you the most?
Tonya Kubo (09:45)
Well, I would say in my underwear drawer, which is funny because it is the drawer that is at like eye level height for both girls. And so when they don’t know where to put something and they don’t want to just leave it on the surface, they shove it in there. So, you know, at night I get, I open that drawer and there’s like all sorts of surprises.
Kathi Lipp (09:51)
Mmm.
Bye.
Why is the underwear drawer the Bermuda triangle of our bedrooms? I don’t understand this, but I do that weird stuff too. I don’t understand. We’ve talked about this before. I have a dead chicken footprint. I don’t anymore, but I did for a really long time.
Tonya Kubo (10:11)
you
Well, you’re going to love this, Kathi. So I opened the drawer this morning and there’s like a brand new sports bra in there that is not mine. Why is there a brand new sports bra in my drawer? And one child says, well, I didn’t want my sister to see it and take it. So I put it there. Okay.
Kathi Lipp (10:33)
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
?
Can I guess? Okay, that was Lily. That has Lily written all
over it. Because Abby is not worried about her sister stealing her stuff nearly as much as Lily is. I don’t blame her. Lily, I see you. I see you as an older sister. I see you.
Tonya Kubo (10:59)
Bye.
Yeah.
It is so hard to be the older sister.
Kathi Lipp (11:11)
Yeah, and guys if your underwear drawer is the drawer you’re gonna work on we’re gonna put a link in the show notes here to our our discussion about underwear drawers because they truly are The the lost city of Atlantis when it comes to our bedrooms. Okay day number three floor and under the bed Okay, I have a terrible habit Tonya of
Tonya Kubo (11:39)
Mm-hmm.
Kathi Lipp (11:39)
taking off my socks right before bed and then they get smooshed under the bed and we go there and we find like, why do I not have any pairs of socks? Because half of them are under the bed. How is your floor and under the bed and what will you be concentrating on on day three?
Tonya Kubo (11:50)
They’re under the bed.
So I actually kick off my shoes under the bed. that’s the Bermuda Triangle of shoes for me is underneath the bed. My habit is because I go to bed before everybody else and I wake up before everybody else, I tend to leave my clothes on the floor in front of my dresser. And then I wake up to everybody else adding other stuff on top of my stuff. And I can’t get mad, Kathi, because I started the pile.
Kathi Lipp (12:00)
yes, okay.
?
Tonya Kubo (12:26)
Let’s be real. I don’t get to get angry with them when I started the pile on my floor.
Kathi Lipp (12:27)
I know, I know.
I
know, I know. Well, and you guys live in a very small space. yeah, decisions are made. Decisions have been made. This is what we’re doing. Okay, yeah, for me, it’s, definitely need, we’ve got under our bed pretty well organized, but I do want to pull everything out and just say, okay, is everything in the tub it’s supposed to be? Here’s what I want to do. I want to make a list of what’s under there.
Tonya Kubo (12:36)
Yeah.
Kathi Lipp (12:57)
because everything that’s under there is supposed to be under there, but I’m not always 100 % sure if it’s labeled, you know, the winter sheets, the summer, whatever. Okay, day number four. I wanna give you a couple of different options. So you could, this is all about your bed, your actual bed, okay? So you could take everything off. This is if you have a dust ruffle, maybe your comforter.
So to wash it ? and put it back on. So that’s a big job. I know it’s a big job, but it needs to be done. We don’t have a dust ruffle, but they catch so much dust and dust mites and yeah, it needs to be taken care of. Or in the normal course of you changing your sheets, maybe this is the day you change your sheets, maybe it’s time to vacuum that mattress.
You should be doing that every six months. okay, Tonya’s looking at me with disgust. Okay, what?
Tonya Kubo (14:02)
I’m not looking at you with
disgust. I’m just like, ? that’s a thing we’re supposed to do. I did not learn that in high school or college, Kathi. I did not.
Kathi Lipp (14:10)
You know, that’s okay. You know
what? We’re here to teach you. Yeah. So the vacuum, can I tell you, if you follow me on Facebook, you know that ? in July ? Moose got skunked. And that is a different experience than I have ever experienced before. And I am a changed human being. My biggest fear.
Tonya Kubo (14:39)
you
Kathi Lipp (14:40)
We had just replaced
our mattress. We had just replaced it. And of course, Moose’s favorite spot in the entire world is our bed. so, yeah, and you know, she, I was like, do I sleep downstairs with her? So after her third de-skunking bath, we were much better. But I was terrified because mattresses are so expensive. They’re so expensive. And yeah, so. ?
Tonya Kubo (15:07)
They are.
Kathi Lipp (15:10)
So yeah, every six months just take ? a vacuum to it if you’ve never done it before Day four is the day for you. So just get that attachment out and ? You’re gonna get a lot of dust and things like that and that’s okay ? You know what don’t feel guilty for what you haven’t done. Just going forward. I do it when we change our ? clocks
when we change our, which nobody changes any clocks hardly anymore, because it’s all done automatically. Not all of them, but like my oven’s not, my coffee maker’s not, but like, I don’t have a lot of change back clocks. Do you?
Tonya Kubo (15:35)
Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
Microwave is the only thing we have to change.
Kathi Lipp (15:52)
Yeah,
yeah, okay, okay. So that’s usually when I like I literally take that afternoon off and do a whole bunch of things that need to happen every six months and then day number five. This is where I want you to choose your own adventure. ? Maybe you need to wash your curtains and put them right back up. ? Maybe
you know, that’s not something you need to do. You can get out some candles, you know, would a candle in your room be really nice? One of the things that we did is we got ? those electric candles and we’ve got those around the room and we’ve got them on a timer now. And I love that investment. It’s just, it’s a great way to calm down at night and walk into a room that is.
partially lit. It’s really really lovely. So I just want you to do something that is going to make you feel good about that room. Tonya, what would you do?
Tonya Kubo (16:56)
Well, I just started actually ? using a candle in the bedroom because I used to use room sprays, but you know, I’ve got so many folks here with allergies. So, yeah, so I have a candle on my desk that I like to light. You know, I usually light it a little bit after lunchtime and then it just leaves the room smelling nice at bedtime.
Kathi Lipp (17:02)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Love that. Okay. So look at your candles go. You probably don’t need to buy a candle friend You probably have one in your house that you can dig out and use and if you’re like, but I don’t like that one Friend, why is it still in your house? Just I we’re over here asking the hard questions. That’s what we do at clutter free Academy. Okay, I Also want you to think about how you can set the tone with sleeping triggers, you know, we’ve had dr. Vicky here on the podcast all
Tonya Kubo (17:30)
Mm-hmm.
That’s what we do. ?
Kathi Lipp (17:45)
put a link to her show in the show notes. We’ve got so many good past episodes, guys, so I want you to check those out. ? think about, if you go to bed at 10 o’clock, can you start to lower the lights about nine o’clock, an hour before bed? I have a pen and a little pad ? that I keep next to my bed. I went and grabbed it so I can show you if you’re on video and wanna see it. It’s one.
? that suzy flory gave me it says things to do so my chickens can have a better life by the way Tonya did I tell you we became grandparents?
Tonya Kubo (18:25)
No!
Kathi Lipp (18:26)
Our chickens finally laid their first eggs. And so they’re itty bitty teeny teeny tiny. I’ll take a picture so we can put them in the show notes, but they’re so cute. So we are registered at Tractor Supply. If anybody wants to go look at my grandma registry, that’s where you can find it. Okay, so got your pen and paper. And then ? for yourself or maybe for your kids, ? if
You have trouble going to sleep, having a good calming routine. ? I do five deep breaths. Now, some people would say that that would wake you up. It just, for some reason, it just helps me. It triggers my brain to say I’m going to sleep. Also, putting my facial moisturizer on totally triggers me to go to sleep. I don’t know what that is, but it’s super, super helpful. Anything you do to kind of trigger your brain to say, nope, it’s time to go to bed.
Tonya Kubo (19:00)
Mm-hmm.
you
Well, so for us, you know, there is bedtime rituals. ? There’s a magnesium lotion I use on the girls that kind of just helps them settle. We all use sleep masks and ? that’s helpful. Just like shutting out all the ambient light is super helpful for us. And fuzzy socks, I like fuzzy socks.
Kathi Lipp (19:33)
?
? okay.
Yeah, I love that. Yeah.
Okay, you know, you have to keep trying things until you find what works, right? And once you find what works, it really does help trigger your brain to say, I want to sleep. Guys, we want your bedroom to be your favorite place in your house. So one of the things I’m gonna encourage you to do is join us over at Clutterfree, it’s Kathi Lipps Clutterfree Academy over on Facebook, September 15th through 19th.
Tonya Kubo (19:53)
Mm-hmm.
Kathi Lipp (20:18)
we are going to, as a group, do the Great Bedroom Declutter Challenge. So ? if you’re not a part of that group, go over there and join. We have a couple of questions to ask you just to make sure you’re not a bot or you’re not trying to sell things or even worse, a perfectionistic person who wants to tell the rest of us that we’re lazy. We don’t do it. So if you go to Kathi, that’s k-a-t-h-i dot link slash c-f-a.
you’re going to be able to go join that group. So we’ll have the link also in the show notes, but that’s k-a-t-h-i dot link slash c-f-a. That’s for ClutterFree Academy. Guys, let your bedroom be a recovery room, not a storage unit. All right? That is our goal for September. Friends, you’ve been listening to ClutterFree Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.
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