by Guest Blogger | Jan 8, 2017 | God, Guest Blog, Overwhelmed |
I was sick when I was pregnant and not just a little bit. Doctors diagnosed me with hyperemesis, which I loosely translate into “throwing your guts up day and night.”
When I got pregnant the second time, people assured me every pregnancy is different. And they were right. The second time was worse.
I sank into despair
For a woman who had led a largely sheltered and happy life, the sickness and helplessness overwhelmed me. Even though I knew the suffering would end with a blessing, my baby boys, I drifted from discouragement to despair. And then I sank. I also followed a harmful pattern that made everything worse. For the first time since I had fallen madly in love with Jesus, I didn’t pray. I didn’t read my Bible. Instead, I withdrew from God.
Just a month after my second son was born, I developed a close friendship with a woman named Linda whose sons were the same age as mine. We were both sick during our second pregnancy, but her nausea had a different source. It was caused by the chemo she was receiving for a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer.
Faced with a terminal illness, a new baby, and a grieving family, my friend didn’t react to overwhelmed by pushing God away. She drew close to Him.
In her truly overwhelming circumstances, she administered David’s remedy given in Psalm 62:8, “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (NIV, emphasis added)
What my friend taught me about seeking God
Instead of withdrawing from God like I did, Linda’s secret was that she withdrew each day with God. Linda brought all her emotions to God and let Him help her. She didn’t try to fake cheerfulness in His presence or avoid Him completely. Instead, she trusted Him with her feelings and found Him to be her refuge.
If you’ve made my mistake and developed a pattern of withdrawing from God instead drawing close, I have an action step for us to take. Let’s set a reminder on our phone or a write a note on our calendar each day at a specific time that says, “Pour out your heart to Him.” When our daily time arrives, let’s take the next five minutes to bring our honest feelings to God and ask Him to help us with them.
Creating a new pattern of withdrawing to Jesus in overwhelmed times instead of hiding from Him means we access His power, strength and peace to face the day. We’ll not only build deeper trust in God, but just like my friend Linda, we’ll strengthen and inspire others.
One Small Win: In the past, have I responded to overwhelmed by withdrawing from God or with Him? What steps can I take to either change or strengthen that pattern?
Amy Carroll is a speaker and writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s the author of Breaking Up with Perfect as well as the director and coach of Next Step Speaker Services. Amy and her husband live in lovely Holly Springs, NC with a bossy miniature dachshund. You can find her on any given day texting her two sons at college, typing at her computer, reading a book, or trying to figure out one more alternative to cooking dinner. Share life with Amy at www.amycarroll.org and on Facebook.
by kathilipp | Jan 7, 2017 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Blog, Overwhelmed, Patience, Relationships |
Homework often feels like swimming in quicksand; it takes a lot of effort to make a small, microscopic bit of progress. I think my son often feels the same. His face, his voice, his delay of the inevitable all lead to a night of overwhelm, and there isn’t one of us who welcomes the arrival of it. Instead, we have had to reframe homework time in order to do more than simply survive the wade through quicksand.
Changing the homework atmosphere
In a moment of desperation, when overwhelm was about to suck every bit of joy from the house, I opted to change the atmosphere. It was time to think outside the box.
Atmosphere: Scent
Who knew that lavender essential oil was just as important as a No. 2 pencil? It was news to me but now I keep it on hand. Diffuse it or wear it on your wrists to erase overwhelm – yours and your child’s! I bet fresh baked cookies, freshly cut rosemary or flowers would work to invigorate and motivate as well.
Atmosphere: View
A clear space to work makes a big difference. It drives us all nuts to have to clear a spot or work around the syrup on the counter. Have a clear spot ready to go. Also, there’s something about a flickering candle that ushers in peace and shows overwhelm the door. The candlelight serves as a reminder of what home is – a place of peace, it serves to remind me not set a place at the table for overwhelm.
Atmosphere: Sound
Music is powerful and completely customizable! What type of music focuses and calms your child? Instrumental music, soft rock, a movie soundtrack, or white noise? One night I put on John Coltrane just as I was about to pull my hair out and the strains of the talented saxophonist melted the frustration so that we could all stay focused on what is important – our relationships with each other!
Atmosphere: Release
Sometimes everyone needs a break. “Finish that worksheet and we can go shoot some hoops.” “Let’s practice your math facts and then we can have a snack.” “Go ahead and finish that sentence and we can go dance it out.” Homework will feel less like a prison sentence when there are opportunities to blow off some steam.
Atmosphere matters in homework. I can’t do my son’s homework for him (I already passed 4th grade), but I can set the tone in our home. Homework is not always going to be fun but there can be more smiles in the midst of math, more patience in the writing of the report. It is possible to end the night tired yet satisfied, that together, we navigated homework well.
One Small Win: With a simple step outside of the box, homework becomes more than just school work – it becomes a lesson in being patient and kind while mitigating overwhelm.
You can read more from Bethany Howard at bethanyhoward.com. She writes about finding fuel for joy and growth in the details of the daily. Her greatest leadership exercise has been her roles as wife and mom to three. She is a graduate of Leverage: The Speaker Conference.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 6, 2017 | Blog, Finances, Guest Blog, Overwhelmed |
by Amberly Neese
Money stinks.
Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the freedoms and opportunities money can afford, but the lack of it is draining.
My husband and I have been in full-time ministry for most of our lives. Budgeting has been a necessary reality since the beginning of our union. Dental bills, unexpected car repairs, medical issues, and the cost of everyday life created stress for us in various seasons but nothing could have prepared us for nine months of unemployment.
The cost of unemployment
We had just moved so I could accept my dream job at a Christian camp in the mountains of Arizona. I left teaching, took a pay cut, and trusted God’s call. Everything was awesome until my husband started looking for a job. He has a Master’s Degree from USC (on a full ride), decades of experience, and, frankly, he is a good guy. Nothing. No one seemed to have a need for that which he had to offer. It was arduous.
The tension in our home with our teenagers and between my husband and I became palpable. An increase in raised voices and shed tears precipitated a change. That change came in the form of a trip to the dollar store (God bless the dollar store).
We bought polished rocks, a candle, and a Sharpie. I pulled out an old glass hurricane lamp and charger plate from the garage and got to work. I put the candle in the middle of the charger plate, placed the hurricane over the candle and spread the rocks all around the outside of the glass. Then I called a family meeting where I told everyone anytime we felt overwhelmed or frustrated, we needed to contribute to our family’s ebenezer.
A family ebenezer
Ebenezer is more than the name of the lead character in that old Christmas story. It comes from the name of a stone raised by Samuel to commemorate a victory over the Philistines at Mizpeh (I Sam.12). The word itself comes from the Hebrew (ebhen “stone” + ezer “help”). God often asked His people to remember His goodness by building an ebenezer to remember His faithfulness. God didn’t do it to feed His ego, but instead, He knew we’d need the reminders.
We have very short memories in times of trouble!
Each person in my family was given a few rocks and asked to write something God had done to show His love in the past week. We used the permanent marker to scribble our ideas on the rocks. Anytime we saw the hand of God provide for our family, we wrote on a rock and placed it on the inside of the hurricane glass.
They served as our reminders
By the end of the unemployment drought, we had gone back to the dollar store three times to buy more rocks. Even on days when our financial situation looked bleak, it was very difficult to feel sorry for ourselves. Written on every rock we saw His faithfulness evidenced on a daily basis through others, circumstances, and His church. The arguments dissipated and the joy quotient vastly increased.
Someday when my kids leave the house to start families of their own, the first thing I will send with them is the makings of an ebenezer. I pray when they face the tumult of difficulty, such a visual reminder will commemorate God’s faithfulness, and the “joy of the Lord (will be their) strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)
One Small Win: As we built an ebenezer, He built in us a solid trust in His provision. When we removed some of the rocks, we were reminded of all that had happened. We were flabbergasted at the creative ways God provided for our family.
Amberly Neese
is a national speaker, author, and humorist with a passion for pointing others to the joy found in Christ. She has won hearts (and funny bones) of people all over the country at hundreds of conventions, camps, seminars, retreats, and chapels. She also serves as the program director at UCYC and an adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University. Amberly received her Master’s degree from Biola University.
Amberly has been married to Scott Neese since 1992. They have two kids, Judah and Josiah. They live in beautiful Prescott, AZ and love the Food Network and all things Star Wars. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 4, 2017 | Blog, Overwhelmed, Recipes |
by guest Kelsee Keitel
“I am really not looking forward to cooking dinner tonight. In fact, I’m kind of dreading it.” I had become an overwhelmed cook.
I never imagined those words would come out of my mouth … at least, not yet.
At 23, I expected cooking dinner for my new husband would be a breeze. After all, we’re young and energetic, and cooking is one of my favorite hobbies.
But night after night, I found myself overwhelmed at the thought of starting dinner.
Why?
Before I could even begin to make dinner, I had to conquer a messy (and often hectic) kitchen. That extra work felt so overwhelming.
Did I mention I can get a little hangry? When I want to eat, I want to eat … not clean the kitchen.
The more overwhelmed I became, the longer I procrastinated making dinner, and the more likely one or more of the following outcomes would happen:
- My husband and I would BOTH get hangry. Not fun.
- I’d eventually cook while feeling stressed and pressured. Also, not fun.
- I’d feel a little like a failure. Not fun either.
- We would opt for fast food instead. Not healthy.
One night, after snapping at the hubby while hangry and agitated, I decided to clean the kitchen before bed. It turned out to be a solid move because I wasn’t nearly as stressed when it came time to cook dinner the next night!
After that successful evening, I made it a goal to tidy up the kitchen every night before bed.
Now I’ll confess I can be a little of a perfectionist. I was tempted to do a floor-to-ceiling scrub at first. But then I decided to simply make the kitchen manageable for tomorrow night.
For me that meant wiping down the counters and reloading the dishwasher.
It might be something different for you. Think of this mini cleaning session as a part of your prep-work for the next night’s meal.
One Small Win: Commit to tidying up the kitchen each night, and you’ll relieve those “It’s too much! Where do I begin?” feelings before they ever hit.
Kelsee is a graduate student and blogger, living in Indianapolis, IN with her newly wed husband. She is passionate about cultivating sisterhood through vulnerability and introducing young women to the freedom and abundance of life in following Christ. When Kelsee is not snuggled up with a book and sipping tea, she can be found experimenting in the kitchen or chatting with her mom.
You can read more about how Kelsee experiences divine moments in the midst of ordinary life over at kelseekeitel.com or on Instagram and Facebook.
by Clutter Free Academy Team | Jan 3, 2017 | Overwhelmed |
Kathi & Cheri’s Personal Manifesto
Creating your personal manifesto is an amazing way to pre-decide how you are going to handle certain people or situations. Check out Kathi and Cheri’s and even a few of our favorites from those that sent them in that have already read Overwhelmed.
Hopefully, you didn’t make a New Year’s Resolution this year and instead created a Personal Manifesto. What is a personal manifesto? A personal manifesto is a series of present tense statements that embodies your values in reference to who you are and who you aspire to be through God’s grace and power. While resolutions are pass/fail and sometimes tear you down, manifestos build you up and help you to make positive changes in your life.
Tips for Living Your Priorities
Kathi and Overwhelmed co-author, Cheri Gregory provide three tips for living out your manifesto.
- Microsteps – Small steps when baby steps are too big. Microsteps are useful when each step requires different parts of your brain and totally different functions. Many of us are used to all or nothing thinking and this creates overwhelm. Microsteps breaks the bonds of procrastination and perfectionism.
- Prep and Plan Day – Once a week you reserve time to take care of the business of life. Prep is for the short term – the coming week. Planning is long-term.
- Morning and Evening Routines – Having routines limits the decisions you have to make and helps with overwhelm.
Listen in and learn how you can live your priorities and implement the above steps. Mentioned Links: Refrigerator Bread Recipe
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and the upcoming Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (23), also opposite personalities.
Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 2, 2017 | Blog, Overwhelmed |
by Cheri Gregory
I should be more like him.
As I sit through the memorial service for a truly amazing man—a beloved teacher and pastor to so many—this one thought plays over and over in my head.
I should be more like him.
Whenever Jon preached about God’s grace, he’d break down in tears, so great was his gratitude toward his Savior. His death opens a Grand Canyon-sized hole in our school and church community that none of us can even begin to fill.
I should be more like him.
But I don’t know how.
The “Should Be’s” Overtook Me
During conversation after the memorial service, Tim Z, our AP History teacher, asks me how my AP English students are doing.
“Do you think you’ll ever go back to teaching sophomore English?” he asks.
“No,” I reply. “I don’t have the patience for students who refuse to read. If they hate books, I don’t want to deal with them.”
Tim’s eyes light up. “Oh, I just love the kids who come into my class hating history!”
I stare, partly in admiration and partly in shame.
I should be more like him.
Tim talks animatedly. “I see every history-hating student as a future history major. I make it my personal challenge to figure out what it takes to help them change their minds.”
I nod dumbly.
I should be more like him.
But I don’t know how.
Accepting That I’m Exactly Who I’m Supposed to Be
I linger in the church after the memorial service, pondering the legacy of Jon Speyer and mulling over my conversation with Tim Z.
I should be more like them.
But how?
Train myself to cry when I talk about God? Force myself to enjoy aliterate students?
No.
Trying to be someone I’m not isn’t the answer.
What if …
A new thought begins to sprout, like a seed pushing up through the soil.
What if I quit trying to be more like him or them?
What if I start trying to be … (dare I say it) … more like me?
Nothing more or less than exactly who God created me to be.
I Stopped Worrying and Started Listening
It’s been four years since this epiphany.
Since I started regularly asking, “Who did God create me to be?” and really listening for the answer.
The tool that’s helped me keep the answer front-and-center as I make decisions throughout my work day is my Personal Manifesto.
One page of Spirit-led words that declares, “This is who I am and who I aspire, through God’s grace and power, to become.”
Two Things Your Personal Manifesto Will Do for You
Your Personal Manifesto says, “This is it!”
Which can be interpreted two different ways:
1 — Through your Personal Manifesto, you declare who you are.
Your Personal Manifesto is not an itemized list of who a parent or teacher or spouse or child or boss—not even a beloved role model—expects you to be.
Your Personal Manifesto is a pray-cessed expression of who God has created you to be.
2 — Through your Personal Manifesto, you define who you are not.
It helps you define who God did not create you to be, for yourself and others. This can be downright terrifying for those of us who are used to being “all things to all people.”
It’s your God-guided assertion that you’re done trying to be someone you’re not. (No matter how much others may want you to keep trying.)
There’s nothing wrong with having a role model or seeking out mentors. But our goal should never be trying to be more like him or her or them.
Your goal is to always listen to Him.
Who does He say you are?
Instead of making New Year’s resolutions (that will only last for a week), how about creating a Personal Manifesto that will carry you through the rest of your life? Sign up for great ideas and resources about how to get out from Overwhelmed and you will receive “How to Write Your Personal Manifesto” as our gift to you. Get off the overwhelming cycle of making and breaking resolutions and create a gentle plan for lasting life change.
And learn more about living out a life out of overwhelmed in our new book, Overwhelmed, How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity.
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (24), also opposite personalities.
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? Take the self-quiz and discover the surprising strengths of a tender heart.
