by kathilipp | Mar 21, 2017 | Overwhelmed, Podcast, Restore, The Me Project |
Kathi talks with guest, Bekah Pogue about her book, Choosing Real, An Invitation to Celebrate When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned. When life isn’t really following the plan, there are beautiful things still happening all around us. These two energetic authors and speakers discuss how to use the 5 senses to discover joy in the simplest of things and celebrate life on a daily basis.
Bekah explains one of the important questions she asks herself when considering an activity or obligation: “Am I sacrificing my sanity or my family to make this happen?” Maybe you can relate. Join in this refreshing conversation and find some beauty in your everyday.
Choosing Real Giveaway
Bekah and Kathi are joining forces to give away two “Choosing Real” Kits. Each kit will contain a copy of the book, Choosing Real, An Invitation to Celebrate When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned and a $5.00 Starbucks Gift Card.
To win, leave a comment in the show notes about what brings your 5 senses alive.
This giveaway is only available to our U.S. listeners.
From Bekah’s website:
“I write from my heart about connection, faith, parenting, marriage, books, identity, my obsession with desserts, and all things real. If you’re looking for vulnerability, down with talking about hard things, and choosing to see genuine beauty every.single.day, consider yourself invited, friend.
My first book, Choosing Real: An Invitation to Celebrate When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned released December 2016. I also guest writer for Yellow Conference and cheer other writers along as a writing coach. I love communicating with women, whether in small groups or large conferences, as if you were sitting on my couch and catching up as old friends. You can find me at the beach, reading, baking, rearranging furniture or flea-marketing. My creative hubs, Bryan and I have been married a dozen years. We have two energetic boys, and reside at The Pogue Cottage in Huntington Beach, where dance parties are a regular occurrence..”
by kathilipp | Feb 21, 2017 | Overwhelmed, Patience, Podcast |
Doing Lent Together
You’re invited to join Karen for #DoingLentTogether inspired by Zip It! She will be leading a free challenge on Facebook, March 1 – April 15 and instead of giving up chips or chocolate, we’ll spend our 40 days giving up using our words wrongly! Scroll to the bottom of the page and sign up for details.
We don’t need to say everything we think! Oh but it’s so hard not to sometimes!
Kathi talks with NY Times bestselling author, Karen Ehman, about her latest book, Zip It. They discuss why it is important to use less words and yet still be able to tell the truth. Karen discusses her struggles to “Zip It” and how she has learned to replace words that are negative and tear down with fruitful words to build, bless and encourage others.
You Are Invited
She also invites the audience to her Zip It: 40 Day Challenge starting on March 1 throughout Lent. Kathi will be participating in #doinglenttogether and will be sharing several great ideas on the blog in the coming days so be on the lookout for that or subscribe to the blog.
Win A Book
Two Zip It books will be given away. To win, share your biggest tongue challenge in the comments below. Two winners will be selected from the comments.
Free Download
Doing Lent Together and Zip It Samples
We use our words everywhere: with family members, coworkers, the stranger in the store—even the words we text or post online. Our daily words can impact our relationships for better—or for worse. (Been there. Said that. Wish you could take it back. Can you relate?)
Sign up for FREE samples.
Karen Ehman is a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and New York Times bestselling author. Described as profoundly practical, engagingly funny and downright real, her passion is to help women to live their priorities and love their lives as they serve God and others.
Karen writes for Encouragement for Today online devotions that bring God’s peace, perspective, and purpose to over four million women daily. She has authored eleven books including the popular Listen, Love, Repeat: Other-Centered Living in a Self-Centered World and New York Times bestseller Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It and When to Say Nothing at All. Both include a companion DVD Bible study designed for group or individual use.
Two of the books she has written are just for moms and were coauthored with Ruth Schwenk of The Better Mom – Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need to Knock It Off and the newly released ECPA best-seller Pressing Pause: 100 Quiet Moments for Moms to Meet with Jesus. She is also the Speaker Track Director of Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference and a teaching staff member of their writers’ training site COMPEL.
Karen has been a guest on national television and radio programs including FamilyLife, Engaging Women, The Harvest Show, Moody Midday Connection, The 700 Club, At Home Live, and she has been a popular repeat guest on Focus on the Family. She is a cum laude graduate of Spring Arbor University with a BA in Social Science and has been married for over a quarter-century to her college sweetheart Todd. She and the Mr. make their home out in the boondocks in the middle of the Mitten (Michigan–America’s “High Five”). They are the parents of three sometimes quarrelsome but mostly charming children ranging in age from teen to adult.
She is a lover of coconut and dark chocolate, sharpened Ticonderoga #2 pencils, whimsical notecards, and any kind of Post It note. She is a collector of retro Pyrex ware (especially in aqua or pink!) and is a die-hard fan of the Detroit Tiger baseball team. (Bless you boys!)
But most of all, she considers it an honor to tell others about the gospel–the good news of Jesus Christ–whether from the stage at an event, on the pages of one of her books or Bible studies, or over a cup of French press coffee in her kitchen.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 28, 2017 | Clutter Free, Overwhelmed |
When my son, Jonathon, was seven, he was totally into Monopoly.
I went on eBay and found a Monopoly clock, Monopoly mug, and then struck the Monopoly motherlode: Monopoly fabric!
Started
I bought enough to make a quilt, pillows, and curtains.
I signed up for a quilt-making class, where I cut a lot of the fabric into a lot of strips. I even sewed some of the strips into T shapes.
Then–-as is so typical for my Expressive personality–-I ran out of steam.
Stopped
I quickly became overwhelmed by all the attention to detail that making a “T Quilt” requires.
I didn’t want details; I wanted a quilt!
So, I set the project aside. Then bagged it up. Eventually, stored it in the garage.
For. Ten. Years.
Stored
A decade later, when I pulled out the box that held the bag holding all the Monopoly fabric, my heart took a fantastical leap.
“I can finish this now … or this summer … or next year!” I started thinking.
But thanks to Clutter Free, I knew that my habit of storing stuff was not good stewardship.
Letting of an unfinished project
So I took photos of the Monopoly fabric and posted them on Facebook with the note, “Free to good home.”
Sherry, an acquaintance, responded immediately. An avid quilter, she offered to take, and promised to use, all my quilting fabric and supplies.
Then–-as is so typical for my Expressive personality–-I forgot all about the fabric. Out of sight, out of mind. I’m an idea gal, a starter, so I moved on to new projects.
Two years later, Sherry blessed me with photos of the quilt that I started and she so lovingly finished:
It looks better than I ever imagined!
She gave the quilt to a family member who was thrilled to receive it and adores using it.
What started-stopped-and-stored project can you give away today?
One Small Win: You don’t have to hang on to the quilt…or the guilt. You don’t need to finish what you started. You can let someone else take it from here.
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (24), also opposite personalities.
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? Take the self-quiz and discover the surprising strengths of a tender heart.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 18, 2017 | Blog, Clutter Free, Overwhelmed |
“I didn’t make this mess. So why do I have to clean it up?”
For years, I heard these words of protest from my kids when it was their turn to clean up the kitchen.
Sometimes, I responded with a snarky comeback about all my years of selfless diaper-changing. Other times, I cleaned up the kitchen myself.
Honestly, whenever I took care of the kitchen on my own, I caught myself thinking the exact same thing:
I didn’t make this mess. So why do I have to clean it up?
The problem with cleaning the kitchen
Our protests reveal our belief that whoever makes the kitchen mess should be the one to clean it up.
As with so many time-honored cliches, this seems so logical.
Like, “You break it; you fix it.”
And, “You make your bed; you lie in it.”
“You mess it, you clean it.”
It just felt right.
But it caused all sorts of overwhelmingly negative feelings, such as annoyance, frustration, irritation, and resentment. (Just for starters.)
A different way of thinking
A few years ago, I realized there are valid exceptions to the “you mess it, you clean it” rule.
1. Sometimes, the person who makes the kitchen mess has done so to bless the family, or perhaps a houseful of guests, with a delicious meal. Since they’ve done all the work of fixing the food, it’s only fair for others to pitch in and help with the clean-up.
2. Other times, the kitchen stays messy while a cleaning-related process is happening, such as running the dishwasher or waiting for pots and pans in the drainer to air dry.
3. Often, it’s impossible to figure out “who made this mess.” When we try, we end up in petty arguments:
– “No, that’s not my knife. I put my knife in the dishwasher already!”
– “Those aren’t my crumbs. I know how to use a sponge!”
– “The stain in the sink is green. I never fix green food.”
Our solution to cut the complaining
Instead of wasting our time and energy fretting about “who made this mess?” we started asking ourselves one simple question when entering the kitchen:
“How can I move the kitchen to its next stage?”
Together, we came up with a list of kitchen stages and necessary actions:
Stage: Action:
The sink is full of dishes. Put them in the dishwasher.
The dishwasher is full. Run it.
The dishwasher is clean. Empty it.
The dishes in the drainer are dry. Put them away.
The counters are crumby. Wipe them down. |
This one simple change in focus produced surprising results.
1. We’ve quit worrying about “Who made the mess?” and accepted the fact kitchens get messy.
2. We’ve all taken ownership of the kitchen. And its messes and clean-up.
3. We’ve become more considerate. We realize when we each do our small part, the “next stage” requires far less work.
Making it work for you
Your kitchen stages may well be different than ours. And if you have younger children, you’ll want to break the various stages and actions into micro-steps. Perhaps even make a stages flow chart and wipe-off checklist to put on the fridge.
Consider printing and posting 1 Corinthians 12:14-27 as a reminder that while we are unique individuals, God calls us to work together as one.
One Small Win: However you choose to do it, intentionally change the protest “I didn’t make this mess!” to the question “How can I move the kitchen to its next stage?”
You’ll say, “Good-bye” to overwhelming negativity.
And “Hello” to cooperation in the kitchen.
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (24), also opposite personalities.
Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? Take the self-quiz and discover the surprising strengths of a tender heart.
by kathilipp | Jan 17, 2017 | Clutter Free, Overwhelmed, Podcast |
Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity
Use the feedback filter to determine whether the feedback is earned or unearned feedback and whether it is exploration or evaluation.
“Not everyone’s feedback is equal.”
We all need feedback to progress in many areas of our lives. But some types of feedback are better than others. Knowing what feedback to use and which to let go will save you from being overwhelmed by feedback. You may have desired reassurance about something and ended up with a complete critique of your work. The truth is, many people have no business speaking into our lives. They haven’t earned the right to give feedback. Kathi and Overwhelmed co-author, Cheri Gregory discuss the various types of feedback and how to deal with each. They also provide a graphic feedback filter to help you determine what kind of feedback you desire and/or receive.
FREE DOWNLOAD
Our new book is NOW AVAILABLE! Get your book and then get your free downloadable planner with proof of purchase. Click on the image for all of the details.
Feedback Filter
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and the upcoming Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (23), also opposite personalities.
Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.
by Guest Blogger | Jan 13, 2017 | Blog, Overwhelmed |
“We all pay an Overwhelmed tax,” Kathi tells me.
To myself, I think: Well, maybe you do, but I’m sure I don’t.
Aloud, I say: “How interesting!”
Kathi gives an illustration of adding a service to her cell phone during a trip and then forgetting to cancel it. This resulted in paying months of unnecessary extra charges.
Again, I think to myself: Well, maybe you do that kind of thing, but I’m sure I don’t.
Overwhelmed Tax: The Dental Work Payment
Later in the week, I visit my dentist who kindly but honestly informs me since I’ve waited so long to see him, what could have been a filling now needs to be a crown … possibly a root canal.
I start to throw myself a pity party.
This is so unfair. I work so hard. I’m so busy. I don’t have time to …
Kathi’s words interrupt my thoughts: “We all pay an Overwhelmed Tax.”
And I wonder: Do I pay an Overwhelmed Tax, after all?
Overwhelmed Tax: The Plane Ticket Fee
A few weeks later, I add an item to my to-do list:
“Book a return flight for Annemarie.”
I check the price online: thanks to a special deal, it’s under $100.
Whew!
Days pass.
“Book a return flight for Annemarie” stays on my to-do list.
Weeks pass.
Finally, I put, “Book a return flight for Annemarie” on my calendar.
When I go online, I find that the ticket price has doubled.
I start to kick myself for being so …
… so what? Lazy? Hardly. I’ve been busy. And sick.
Kathi’s words return: “We all pay an Overwhelmed Tax.”
And instead of wallowing in denial, persecution, or punishment, I accept the truth:
Today, I’m paying a hefty Overwhelmed Tax to Southwest Airlines.
Overwhelmed Tax: The Acute Pneumonia Fallout
It’s one week before Christmas, and I’ve been sick for nine weeks straight.
Two months ago, I determined to soldier through my many commitments. But the worse my cough became, the more I had to cancel.
I finally do what I should have done long ago: take myself to Urgent Care. I emerge with a diagnosis of pneumonia, a prescription for antibiotics, and doctor’s orders to rest.
By Christmas Eve, my symptoms are almost gone, and my strength is returning.
On the way home, I begin to tally up the Overwhelmed Tax I’m paying because I failed to seek medical care early on.
• A bunch of time-sensitive projects are way behind schedule.
• My family has had a grouchy, lethargic wife and mom for way too long.
• I have neither rested well or worked well nor played well for two long months.
All because I was too overwhelmed—by busyness, by annoyance, and even by pride—to make the choice to see a doctor sooner.
Minimizing the Overwhelmed Tax Damage
I now agree with Kathi: We all pay an Overwhelmed Tax.
(And if you’re tempted to tell yourself, “Well, maybe you do, but I’m sure I don’t,” think again!)
One Small Win: Here are three effective ways we can minimize the Overwhelmed Taxes we pay:
1. Audit the Overwhelmed Tax you pay. Start keeping track of the various ways you pay Overwhelmed Tax. Money isn’t the only kind of cost—often, it’s the least of our expenses! An Overwhelmed Tax can be exacted on your time, your energy, your space, your relationships, and your integrity.
2. Avoid paying Overwhelmed Tax when possible. Take the ten minutes to book the plane ticket while the price is low. Hire help: it feels so much more satisfying to pay others for their skills than to pay an Overwhelmed Tax (which feels like failure.)
3. Accept that we all pay an Overwhelmed Tax. When you can’t avoid an Overwhelmed Tax, give yourself grace. Learn what you can move on. The steepest Overwhelmed Tax on earth is failure to forgive—it’s far too high a price to pay for anything.
Which one simple step will you take today?
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.” Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and the upcoming Overwhelmed. Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (23), also opposite personalities. Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.
