I’m Having Gastric Sleeve Surgery. Here’s What I Want to Tell You…

by kathilipp | Nov 25, 2013 | Me | 81 comments

I’m Having Gastric Sleeve Surgery. Here’s What I Want to Tell You…

Tuesday morning, Roger and I will be at the hospital at 5:30 AM and I will be going in for the gastric sleeve surgery. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, check out the Wikipedia page.)

While I’m a little nervous about the surgery, I’m mostly excited. (I liken it to when I had babies – excited about how my life is going to change, but also appreciating that I have no idea of all the ways it’s going to change.) But the thing I’ve been most nervous about? Telling people.

There is a lot of shame that comes with having a weight problem, (and for those of you who don’t have a weight issue, I know there are other areas that can land you in that shame place just as quickly) and while I’m not on the cover of People magazine, I do have a lot of friends and followers that I wanted to let know in some way. It feels a little weird putting it out on the internet for the world to see, but I would hate it even more if anyone thought I was trying to hide what I’m going through. Because for me, this weight thing is the biggest thing in my life.

I’ve always watched those shows like “Biggest Loser” or any talk show with someone who has lost weight as they’ve talked about how miserable their lives were before they lost weight, and how magical and fairy dust-covered their lives were after losing the weight, and here’s the thing: I could never relate.

Yes, I’ve had hard times in my life. I’ve gone through a painful divorce and been rejected by people I love, but one thing has remained true: I love my life. I love the God who loves me back. I have joy that not weight or circumstances can take away from me. On top of all that, I have a husband who adores me, a family that not only loves me, but likes me a whole lot of the time, friends that love and accept me, and the best dang job on planet earth.

I’m not having this surgery to change my life. I’m having this surgery so I can keep showing up for the life I already have.

Right now I’m in good health. (The intake nurse told me this morning that I was the easiest intake she’d had all month because I don’t have complications.) But I know what is shortly waiting for me around the corner: I already have high blood pressure, and I have a family history of diabetes, cancer, stroke and more. It’s possible that losing weight can help me avoid some of that. I want to have the surgery while I’m still a great candidate to do so.

This has been a lifelong struggle. When the nurses ask me when my weight problem started, I honestly can’t remember a time in my life when it hasn’t been an issue. And I’ve lost weight before. Two times I’ve lost more than 65 pounds, and 20 pounds a dozen times over. But  I’ve always put the weight back on just as soon as any other struggle has come up in my life. And after a while, I had failed so many times that it was easier to give up than it is to fight my way back.

But whenever I would give up, sooner or later there was something that lurked inside of me that said, “Don’t give up. Keep fighting for your health.”

I’ll be honest. Ten years ago when I heard that people had weight loss surgery, I thought to myself, “Well that’s cheating. That’s not really how you’re supposed to do it.” Now ten years later, I think that people who say, “I’ve tried everything I know how to do, and now I’m trying one more thing, surgery” those are some brave people. It took me ten years to get to the point to stop giving up on myself and start speaking up and saying that I need help.

I was afraid to tell many of the people I love about the surgery, since I thought they would have a similar reaction. “That’s cheating.” or “I’m just going to pray that you don’t have to have the surgery.” I was especially afraid to tell people who I know had lost weight “The right way.” They were Weight Watcher leaders, and one friend founded an international weight loss program. And I was terrified to tell them.

Boy, did I need to have more faith in my friends.

Every person I respect, without exception, has expressed nothing but love and support for this decision. My friends who have done it “the right way” have been over the moon for me and have loved and supported me every step of the way.

This decision for surgery has come after a lot of discussion, soul-searching and support. I’ve consulted with my primary physician, a gastroenterologist, my psychologist, and a nutritionist and have even talked it over with my pastor. But most importantly, it has come after a lot of prayer. I now have the confidence that this is the right decision for me. It took me a long time to get there.

God has brought me through a huge learning curve about myself and his love for me, and people’s love for me. To those of you who’ve known and encouraged us, thank you for your unconditional love and support. I am grateful and I feel powerful because I know that I have so many people who love and are praying for me and Roger.

If this is something you are struggling with, I pray that your path would be made clear to you, whatever that might be. If you know someone who is struggling, I hope this may give you some insight into what they are going through.

Oh and one final thought: if you have some objection to the path I’m going down, please let love and support be your guide (in other words, Roger may delete any comment that isn’t helpful or constructive before it shows up on the blog!).

With great anticipation about what God is going to do,

Kathi

How to Never be Criticized for the Rest of Your Life

by kathilipp | Oct 6, 2013 | Me | 9 comments

How to Never be Criticized for the Rest of Your Life

Friday, I was standing in line waiting to have my license examined to see if I was legal to fly in to Dallas.

As the TSA agent was inspecting someone’s ID in front of me, a uniformed man walked up to the front of the line. He was obviously an employee of the airport and was able to skip the line to get to his job, but apparently, he was doing it the wrong way.

“Don’t stand over there! Stand up over here!” the TSA agent barked at the worker.

He asked a question (it was obvious that English was new to him,) and the TSA agent continued to bark at him, and then to belittle him. “Why can’t you just follow directions? It’s not that hard.” And she continued to berate him to the passengers who were standing in front of her.

Obviously, I don’t know either of the people in this situation, but it was apparent that this older gentleman was new to this job, and probably our county. and because he didn’t know the system, he was getting criticized. This man, who left his homeland, I’m guessing in pursuit of a better life for him and possibly his family. He is having to learn new customs, learn a new language, and relearn everything he thought he knew because everything in his life is new.

And this woman had no time for it.

The only way this man (and you) will stopped being criticized is if he, and you stop showing up.

The next time you’re being criticized, ask yourself –

Am I doing something new? People who are comfortable in never changing their lives are the first to criticize those who do.

Am I being brave? It takes courage to say “This is new to me – I don’t know everything, but I’m marching forward!

Right now, I’m stepping into a new world, podcasting. I don’t know a lot about it, and it’s easy for me to be embarrassed “I should know how to do this! I wish I was better at this!” But really, I can only be as good as I am today, and maybe tomorrow, by trying something new, I can be a little better. But I’m going to be a whole lotta bad before I can do anything well.

Are y0u in the midst of something new? Tell me about it. I want to cheer you on in being brave!

And if you’re being criticized, look at the source. As Brene Brown says, “I only listen to those who are in the ring.” Listen to other brave people who are doing their own brave things, not those who are sitting comfortably in the spectator section.

Why I Write this Blog for all My Friends with a Secret Idetity

by kathilipp | Sep 4, 2013 | Me | 8 comments

One of the big reasons I started this blog, (or write books, or speak at events,) is because we all struggle, and I find in sharing our struggle, and working beyond it, we grow in strength. The best sentence a friend can say to another friend is “Me too!” When I share my struggles with you, and you share them right back, it’s easy to feel a little less crazy than we did going into the day – and I find that very valuable indeed.

In addition to sharing our struggles, I want to share hope. I’d always wanted to be one of those “Big Idea” people: “Hey, let’s all get together and raise money for wells in Africa!” “Here’s how to start a women’s ministry in your church!” simply “Hey, you can do great big things in your life!”

I look at other writers and speakers and see how they are changing the world – or at least their corner of it. And I so want to be like them. But I realize I have a different role.

It came to me one night when I was speaking at an event. I was presenting a “Big Idea” and got the group really motivated. I was all excited. “Big Idea” Things were going to happen!

And then a woman came up to me looking a little crestfallen. We started to chat, and she let me know that while she loved the whole “Big Idea” it was frustrating to her. She expected something else from me. Her exact words? “Kathi, it’s hard to change the world when you can’t find your car keys on a regular basis.”

And that’s when it hit me: I’m the car key lady.

God sees fit that my role is to help all of you (and you all help me sometimes,) find our car keys on a regular basis, so that we can go do “Big Idea” Things. But our “Big Idea” things often come in some pretty plain packaging.

It’s a sneaky plan – discovering God in the midst of organizing and meal planning. But that’s where God lives – in the midst of everyday real life. God is in the “Big Ideas” but he is also in the small, intentional acts that to the world look like homemaking, working and raising a family:

• When I talk about cleaning out your purse, what I’m really talking about is getting your life organized so you have time to volunteer for your daughter’s class and make an impact on her and her little friends.
• When I talk about freezer meals, what I’m really talking about is creating a family time where you can have a house that is enveloped in peace.
• When I talk about flirting with your husband, what I’m really talking about is showing the world how two broken people can be madly in love with each other when Christ is in the midst of it.
• When I talk about saving money at the grocery store, what I’m really talking about is having extra money in the bank so when your heart is moved to adopt a child through Compassion, you have a way to do it.

To me – you are each super heroes with a secret identity: To the average bystander you look like moms and wives, employees and students, friends and volunteers. But I know your secret identity: you are world changers. You are the ones who are changing your family’s life and everyone they come in contact with. With your “everyday” actions you are quietly, almost undetected in many circumstances, doing huge and brave work.

What I’m really talking about on this blog, in the midst of the money-saving-house-organizing-man-loving post is one word: Peace. With every tiny little improvement you make, you are bringing peace to a world that desperately needs it. Your cape may not be ironed, and no reporter is following you around reporting on your great deeds. But I see you. I know the truth.

And I love you. Rock on secret super hero.

Calling All Writers (or Maybe You Just Want to Be…)

by kathilipp | Aug 13, 2013 | Me | 0 comments

At almost every event,  women have come up to me and said, “I want to do what you do!” And I want to help. I’ve want to coach, I want to encourage.

And then life and family hi and my best of intentions go out the window.

But now, thanks to my amazing co-author, Cheri Gregory, there is a way you can see what the process of writing a book looks like from every angle.

“Write Beside You” is your chance to hang out (albeit virtually) with me and Cheri as we write The Good Girl’s Guide to Breaking Bad Rules.

You’ll have access to a secret Facebook page where we’ll regularly post status updates about their progress. We’ll share what we’re learning about the writing process (i.e what’s working well and what’s not!)

You’ll be able to ask your questions about writing, speaking, platform-building, marketing, etc. and receive specific answers.

Plus, you’ll be hanging out with a bunch of like-minded women who will (we are confident!) become a source of support, brilliant ideas, and even accountability.

You can participate as much or as little as you like. All we ask is that you be respectful of everyone in the group and keep everything confidential.

If you’re interested, fill out the application here and you’ll hear from us soon!