by kathilipp | May 25, 2014 | I Need Some Help Here |
When the snow drifts finally melted, and the threat of a hard frost was almost gone, I made the announcement to my boys: “We’re planting a garden!”
As we gathered supplies, I congratulated myself for such a fun, educational, outdoorsy idea for my 5, 4, and 3 year-old sons. Long garden tools, tiny colorful seeds and loads of dirt! What’s not to love? Add to that the promise of fresh sweet corn in 90 days, and I skipped out to the garden with a hoe over my shoulder and my three helpers trailing with plastic shovel, pail and watering can in hand.
Unfortunately, planting didn’t go as smoothly as I had hoped. My rows were crooked, and every time I drove the stakes to string a line and straighten them, a chubby little hand would pluck it out and carry it away. The bag of seed corn was accidentally dumped in a heap on the freshly tilled dirt, and the watering can spilled on my seed packages.
I eventually scared my three helpers away by barking “Stop!” “Don’t!” “Go!” So when they abandoned the garden for the swing set, I had no remorse.
Finally! I can do this right!
The summer sun baked the dirt, the seeds absorbed the scant moisture and little cornstalks eventually unfolded and poked through dirt clods.
In August my hearty rows of sweet corn stood proudly, and I was anxious to harvest.
The boys ran down the rows and tripped over weeds and ruts as I checked for readiness, but the silk was still white and moist near the ear, and the kernels were still small.
Maybe next week.
Disappointed, I returned to the house to adapt the dinner menu and fix something else. As I began, I looked out my kitchen window toward the garden just in time to see my five-year-old with both arms stretched around more than a dozen ears of freshly picked corn.
And I flew into a rage!
I shot through the kitchen, flung open the screen door just as his overloaded frame reached the top step of the deck.
I noticed a neighbor’s truck disappearing around the corner, and I waited until he was out of sight before I screamed my son’s full name. He looked up at me from behind the pile of corn and started to speak, but I cut him off.
All my hard work! Ninety days of gestation! A premature harvest! Ruined!
I yammered on. “You’ve ruined the corn.” “It will taste yucky!” “Ask before you pick something from the garden!” “In fact, stay out of the garden!”
He struggled under the weight of 16 ears—which looked quite large—and tried to speak again.
I stopped him. There is no excuse!
“Drop them on the deck!” I barked.
He did.
As they tumbled and rolled I noticed the silk on each ear was crunchy and dry, and each ripe cob filled out the husk.
“I didn’t pick them,” he said.
Yeah right! And now you add lying to your offenses!
I grabbed his ear and demanded, “Then where did you get them!?”
His voice quivered, “Somebody in a pickup truck gave them to me and told me to bring them to you.”
A cold, breathless feeling halted me, and it all came clear.
Our neighbor. A generous farmer. Sharing the first of his harvest. He’d just turned the corner to the next house.
Generosity and innocence doused my rage and brought me to my knees.
Embarrassed, I asked my son for his forgiveness which he was all too happy to grant now that he was clear of my emotional tornado.
And there on the top step of the deck, my son stood as a little reminder of the exchange God has offered me in Christ.
The innocent one endured my anger. And what do I earn for unleashing an undeserved reprimand? A ripe harvest of sweet corn. Better than I’d hoped. Earlier than I’d planned, and free to me if I would just stop screaming and pick it up.
In the same way, Jesus endured God’s wrath reserved for us. Then in spite of all our flawed striving, God offered his righteousness. Better than I could ever do. Earlier than eternity, and free to me if I will just stop trying to earn and receive it.
Today’s Challenge: Accepting Forgiveness…again.
Do you wonder if you’ll ever stop “blowing it?” Remember, God’s mercies are new every morning. His forgiveness never runs out. Our “Bad Mom Moments” provide an opportunity to demonstrate humility, turn in repentance, give an apology, and accept forgiveness. And someday, by God’s grace, our kids will be able to do the same.
Lord, give us grace to turn toward You even in our red-faced embarrassment. Help us gratefully accept your forgiveness so we can extend it to others.
“When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners.”
~Romans 4:4 (NLT)
Today’s Bad Mom Monday Author: Shauna has the wild and hilarious privilege of raising three boys along the breaks of the Missouri River. She blogs about lessons learned in the “School of Motherhood” at permissiontobereal.blogspot.com.
Do you sometimes feel like a bad mom?
Check out my new book, I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan.
Trust me sister, you aren’t alone.
Join the Bad Mom Moment Monday Link-Up!
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by kathilipp | May 21, 2014 | I Need Some Help Here |
For those of you that have ordered my new book I Need Some Help Here! Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan, I want to say a BIG THANK YOU!
For you, I have this exclusive, limited time gift – 50 Days of Hope Through God’s Word verse flipper. It is super adorable and more than that, it is the perfect companion for I Need Some Help Here! Whether you have toddlers or your kids are grown, being a mom means constantly wanting the best for our babies. It can be so difficult when our kids are making bad decisions, acting out or just plain disrespect us, to not feel the twinge of guilt. Through prayer, experience and God’s word, this book, along with the verse flipper can offer hope for every parent.
To get your fabulous verse flipper, filled with 50 days of verses that will give you hope no matter what you are going through with you kids, s
imply click on this link and fill out the form. You’ll be given the download link right away which includes instructions to build you own (and inexpensive) holder.
If you haven’t gotten your copy of the the book, I Need Some Help Here! yet, get it today and come back and fill out the form for your very own verse flipper.
Already reading the book? Share your thoughts on my Facebook page.
Thank you friends!
by kathilipp | May 19, 2014 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, I Need Some Help Here, tips and ideas |
Summer is almost here and I know that you want to avoid “couch zombie” syndrome! Sure it’s quiet when your kid’s face is in a screen, but I’m pretty sure that the glazed look in his eyes is not a good sign.
Why not have an unplugged, memory-making kind of summer?
I have just the thing to help you have fun with your kids without pulling out your hair. My friend Kimberlee at ThePeacefulMom.com is offering her e-book Summer Sanity: A Mom’s Guide to a Great Summer FREE when you subscribe to her free weekly eNotes filled with ideas to help you save money, get organized and love your life.
Click here to get your FREE copy!
Please Note: If you would rather not subscribe, you can get the book for just $3.50 (40% off) with code SUMMERFUN – that’s hours of summer fun for about the cost of a box of frozen fruit pops!
Click here to purchase.
For more summer sanity, check out the Summer Survival Kit!
Make this your best summer yet!
photocredit: Ambro; FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by kathilipp | May 18, 2014 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, I Need Some Help Here |
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:3-4
When Annemarie was laid in my arms as a newborn, I felt the fierce “Mama Bear” instinct rise up in me for the very first time.
I was certain that I would defend this precious child against anyone who tried to attack her.
I’d forgotten what sixth grade can do to a girl.
And I had no clue what sixth grade can do to a mom.
*****
Eleven years later, I rip into Annemarie the moment she shuts the car door behind her.
“Mrs. Smith told me how you’ve been manipulating the other girls on the playground.”
My daughter’s eyes widen and brim with tears. But I am a mom on a mission, unmoved by her emotions.
“She’s seen you interrupt two girls playing together, convince one to come with you, and leave the other all alone,” I continue, my voice trembling with shame.
Annemarie’s shoulders slump, and she looks down.
“Mrs. Smith has watched you steal her daughter’s friends over and over, leaving her nobody to play with.”
Hot tears spill down my cheeks as I shout, “I can’t believe that my own daughter is the ‘Mean Girl’ of sixth grade!”
Annemarie turns away from me.
I stew in silence. She’d better be planning how she’s going to apologize to Mrs. Smith’s daughter. We were just starting to get to know each other, and I know we’d be great friends. She’d better not blow my chance to finally develop a new BFF friendship of my own.
At bedtime, I’m still so upset that I refuse to hug and kiss Annemarie goodnight. I spend a sleepless night wondering Where did I go wrong as a mother?
The next day, I head to school to gather data for spin control with Mrs. Smith. If I act fast enough, perhaps this will be just a blip on the radar and our friendship will keep growing.
But as I talk with Annemarie’s teacher, the principal, and other staff members, I discover that I’ve sided far too quickly with my BFF-to-be.
Turns out, she’s practically been stalking my daughter for weeks, spending her volunteer hours watching Annemarie like a hawk. And she’s been pulling my daughter aside for long lectures without talking to the teacher or me.
My Mama Bear instinct finally kicks in, and I tell Mrs. Smith to leave my daughter alone, to bring her concerns directly to me. Her disdainful response makes it clear that all my hopes for friendship have been nothing but wishful fantasies.
Now guilt-ridden, I apologize to Annemarie for siding against her before even hearing her side of the story. We begin the journey of re-building the trust I’ve broken.
The answer to my late-night question – Where did I go wrong as a mother? – is obvious now.
I went wrong at the point where “looking to my own interests” became a higher priority than mothering my daughter.
I’d been so confident in my Mama Bear instincts that I was blind-sided by my own “selfish ambition.”
With humility newly born from failure, I discover an unexpected parenting truth: the Mean Girl my child most needs a Mama Bear’s protection from is me.
And from this Bad Mom Moment I learn the importance of investigating carefully–rather than blindly believing–another parent’s perspective.
Prayer: Lord, open the eyes of my heart when I am blind to the pain my selfishness is causing my child. Help me follow your leadership as I learn and grow as a parent.
Today’s Challenge: My Interests over Mothering
Has there ever been a time in your mothering journey that you chose your interest over your child’s? Is there a situation right now that you need to apologize to your child for mishandling in order to rebuild the relationship? If so, make that positive step with your child today. Admitting we are wrong will go a long way in building trust with our kids. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to apologize to your child but taking it to your Heavenly Father is always appropriate.
My bad mom friend and author of today’s challenge is Cheri Gregory. Cheri has been married to her college sweetheart for over a quarter-of-a-century and has two college-aged kids; she blogs about expectations, “baditude,” and hope at www.CheriGregory.com.
Join the Bad Mom Moment Monday Link-Up!
If you’re a blogger and have written about one (or more) of your own “Bad Mom Moments” — or any post(s) that offer authentic encouragement to moms — we’d love to have you link on up! It’s as easy as 1-2-3:
- grab the button above
- include it in your post, hyperlinked back here (http://wp.me/p4zUEg-1KA)
- click on “Click here to enter” below and follow the instructions!
(And if you can spare one more minute, stop by and say “Hi!” to the blogger who linked up just before you.)
