by kathilipp | Mar 19, 2018 | Clutter Free, Fear, God |
It’s March 27, 2017
Due to an emergency, Kathi is unable to do her scheduled Facebook LIVE with the Clutter Free Bible Study group and asks if I’ll fill in.
“If you don’t have any areas of clutter struggle any more, ” she says as only the Queen of Positivity can, “maybe you can tell them about your past challenges.”
“Oh, I’m sure I’ll think of something!” I assure her, glancing guiltily around my office.
During the Facebook LIVE, I show everyone my greatest clutter struggle: the many ways I preserve my ideas.
- A shelf lined with 2 inch binders labeled “Blog Post Ideas #1” … “Blog Post Ideas #2” … “Blog Post Ideas #3″…
- File boxes full of hanging file-folders stuffed with notes from in-process book proposals and retreat messages.
- Stacks of printed drafts (I live in terror of losing digital data, so I hav a printing compulsion) from the months when Kathi and I were writing Overwhelmed: 1st draft, 2nd draft, 10th draft.
- Notebooks from the various writing and speaking conferences I’d been to, dating back before 2010.
“They’re all so beautifully organized and labeled, Cheri!” someone comments.
“Aren’t they?” I agree.
“Which is exactly what has allowed me to justify keeping all this stuff. After all, if it’s color-coded, labeled, and organized in binders, certainly it’s not clutter…right?!?”
My sarcasm evokes laughter, and then we all fall silent in communal conviction.
Just because our stuff looks good does not mean we should keep it.
What Size is Your Plate?
In Overwhelmed, Kathi describes each person’s individual capacity in terms of “the size of your plate.”
Most women have dinner plates—an average capacity for activity and productivity.
A few have turkey platters and can accomplish 2-3 times as much as most people.
I, on the other hand, have a small plate. As a highly sensitive person, I am extra easily overwhelmed.
“Does all this stuff in my office match up with a small plate person?” I ask the Clutter Free Bible Study group members.
No way, they all agree.
All the binders and boxes and stacks match someone with a turkey platter.
A hard truth hits me, smack dab in the middle of Facebook LIVE:
Hanging onto so much stuff is a form of greed stemming from distrust.
Protecting my precious ideas is me saying, “God, I don’t trust you to remind me of what’s important.”
And ultimately, hoarding my ideas is my way of trying to stretch my plate.
I never wanted a small plate. I’ve always wanted a turkey platter. So I’ve surrounded myself with “evidence” that “proves” my preferred truth.
It’s my way of saying, “Look! I have all this! If I have so much, I must have a really big plate!”
Bottom line: I’m keeping an office full of stuff so that I can prove God wrong.
<gulp>
Learning to Trust God
After the Facebook LIVE I look around my office with new eyes.
I’ve worked so hard to protect all my precious ideas, but I have far too many to use.
I need to trust God to choose.
I need to believe that God will help me remember the ideas I need when the time comes. Or trust that He’ll give me something new.
Either way, it’s time to quit pretending I have a bigger plate than I do.
I need to accept the size of my plate and let most of this stuff go.
My stuff needs to match the truth about who God created me to be.
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Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and the upcoming Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (23), also opposite personalities.
Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.
by kathilipp | Mar 15, 2018 | Book Club, Clutter Free, Giveaways |
Welcome to the Clutter Free Book Club, where I share the books I’ve been reading (and hopefully loving.) Each month I review at least one book I’ve read, and because I am living a Clutter Free life, I pass that book on to one of you. To be entered into the drawing, just comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win. But there is one catch: if you win the book, you have to promise to pass it on to someone else when you’re done (keeping this book club Clutter Free.) When you comment below, share either 1. A book you’ve read that you think I should put on my list or 2. The name of the person you will pass this book onto when you’re done reading it!
Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World Hardcover – April 4, 2017
Where I bought it: Audible
by Author Admiral William H. McRaven (Ret.)
Where I read it: It’s a short book – I listened to it while I was helping my step-daughter and son-in-law move into their new house.
I’d heard about Admiral McRaven’s speech at University of Texas (Hook ’em!) and what he’d learned in his military career. It was such and enjoyable book and many of the lessons have stuck with me. Lesson 1 making your bed means that the first thing you do each morning is accomplish something. (I lay in bed for a minute and pray first, so first God, then accomplishment. I recommend THAT order.) Recommended!
Just a word on the books I read and review: I have a wide and varied sense of taste when it comes to books. I would love for you to enter and win one of my books – but if you are offended by book content, I would ask that you go online to read reviews to see if this book is for you before you enter to win.
*Only US readers are eligible to receive the free book.
by kathilipp | Mar 14, 2018 | Clutter Free, Clutter Free Heart, Identity |
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)
I’m ready to throw out all of my jeans. Nothing reminds me of the extra weight I’m wearing than a pair of jeans. My skinny jeans really are a paradox. As I tug, yank and wiggle out of them after a long day, I feel trapped in guilt. Suffocating guilt traps them like a denim straight jacket onto my hips. Why haven’t I lost weight yet? How could I have let myself get this heavy? Why do I keep insisting on cramming my body into these jeans? I can’t shed these jeans fast enough. Unfortunately, those extra pounds don’t make fast an option.
Eventually I peel off the jeans and throw them in a heap on my closet floor. They lay there, mocking me. I might have removed the jeans from my body, yet I still don’t feel free of them. There’s another layer squeezing me, my heart.
The guilt. Oh the guilt.
That’s much more difficult to remove. And today it’s almost impossible to shimmy out of.
I quickly grab a pair of leggings and pull them on, their softness and comfort enveloping me. Oh how I long for the same feeling in my heart.
Deep in my heart, I hear a whisper. A reminder. My worth is not found in how my jeans fit, the number on the tag in my jeans, or the number on the scale.
My worth is in Jesus.
For me to wear the peace of that statement, I need to not only shed the too-tight clothes, but the guilt, the shame and the disappointment that comes with them.
Hebrews 4:16 reminds me that because of Jesus, I can approach the throne of God’s grace with confidence. Not with guilt, shame and fear. With confidence. No matter the size of my jeans. The number of the scale. God wants me to come to Him with confidence, but what waits for me there is so much better than confidence! He’s waiting for me, for you, with grace and mercy. And as I find His grace and mercy, I can begin to extend it to myself.
And today, that looks like adding that pair of jeans to the bag of items I’m going to donate later this week. And since I’m already in my closet, I might as well go through some other clothes that don’t fit me. They’re just clutter anyway.
As I let go of clothing that doesn’t fit me, I also let go of the guilt that God never designed to fit my heart.
One Small Win
What’s one item that you can give away or throw away today that will not only release you from physical clutter but from the emotional clutter of guilt? Once you think of it, go do it! Bag it up and put it in your trunk for the next time you’re near a donation spot or throw it away if it’s trash. As you get rid of it, say goodbye to the guilt about it too!
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Melissa Mulvaney is a wife, triple-boy blessed mama, writer, certified life coach and lover of her loud and joyful life. She’s known for her cowbells skills, only writes with pink pens, has the loudest laugh in the room, uses 10 exclamation points instead of a period, and cheers her people on literally and figuratively. If cheering people on was a sport, Melissa would win the gold! You can connect with her at MelissaMulvaney.com.
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by kathilipp | Mar 13, 2018 | Clutter Free, Kitchen, Podcast |
Decluttering your kitchen could be the hardest area of the house because it is constantly being used. Tonya Kubo is back with Kathi Lipp as they break down their top 5 favorite tips to keep the kitchen free from clutter. How do you organize the real estate on your counter tops? And what about the refrigerator, pantry, cupboards and drawers… so much or so little space that can save you time, money and frustration.
Stop the madness and get in on this freedom we call a clutter free kitchen with the simple, doable tips Kathi and Tonya divulge in this entertaining and revealing episode.
For more great tips, join us on the private Facebook group all about living the clutter free life.
Tonya Kubo is the illustrious, fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter-Free Academy Facebook group. She and her husband, Brian, are raising two spirited girls in the agricultural heart of California. She writes about fighting the demons of comparison, clutter and compulsion on www.tonyakubo.com.
by kathilipp | Mar 9, 2018 | Clutter Free, Foodie Friday, Recipe, Uncategorized |
If you’ve ever struggled with having more month than money, you know the value of having a pound of ground meat on hand and making more with less. What if I were to tell you, I could turn a pound of meat into six without sacrificing taste or satisfaction? Would you take the kitchen challenge?
It wasn’t long ago that my family was in a tight financial bind. Job loss and chronic health issues combined to slash our income by 60 percent one year – and we had a baby on the way. We needed to make fast, dramatic changes just keep our heads above water
I read enough to know that food costs are the most flexible monthly expense a family has, so I looked closely at our grocery spending. Here in the U.S., many of us over-spend out of convenience.
I devised a plan to stretch our grocery dollars by making the whole family vegan – no animal products or by-products (yeah, no eggs or cheese) – because animal protein is a pricey commodity. That lasted two days before mutiny ensued. Our 3-year-old quickly became the aunt from “My Big, Fat Greek Wedding” – “What do you mean no meat?!” As for my husband, let’s just say this is not what he had in mind when he vowed “for better or worse.”
If I didn’t want to lose my role as family CEO via hostile toddler takeover, I needed a Plan B. I decided to mix things up, which resulted in Mom’s Magical Miracle. The magic is that the recipe below turns a pound of ground meat into about six pounds of versatile meat filling that can be used in anything from burritos to lasagna. “Meat filling” sounds sketchy but “magical miracle” has mystique.
It’s all in the sales pitch.
The miracle is how a recipe like this can clear the clutter from a mom’s worried mind. You know you’re feeding your family well while sticking within a lean budget. Even if money isn’t an issue, cutting back on food costs allows you to focus finances elsewhere in life like sponsoring a child in need or saving up for a vacation.
Are you ready to create a little kitchen magic for yourself? Download my recipe for Mom’s Magical Miracle today. Try on my magician’s hat and let us know how it works for you and your family. Even better, share photos of your favorite Miracle Meal with us over at the Clutter Free Academy Facebook group. I can’t wait to drool over your kitchen creations.
Tonya Kubo is the illustrious, fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter-Free Academy Facebook group. She and her husband, Brian, are raising two spirited girls in the agricultural heart of California. She writes about fighting the demons of comparison, clutter and compulsion on www.tonyakubo.com.
by kathilipp | Mar 7, 2018 | Clutter Free, Clutter Free Heart, Fear |
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (Luke 12:25-26, NIV)
“Speaking to the people, he went on, “Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot.” (Luke 12:15, MSG)
It was the closet that I’d been avoiding. It was organized, but there were simply too many things I didn’t need and wasn’t wearing. I stared at the same blouses that had hung there unworn since the last purge. I’d made progress, but not with these items.
Why couldn’t I part with these things?! Yes, they were beautiful. Some had been expensive. All were in perfect condition. But they didn’t fit me anymore. Physically they fit, but not in other important ways. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but every time I had an occasion to wear them, I decided not to.
Why? In a word – fear.
If I get rid of this, will I have what I need?
But it felt deeper than just that.
As so often happens, I decided to pray. As a last resort. Sigh.
I asked God to show me what was going on.
As I pulled the hangers out one at a time, to look at each garment, I was surprised to realize each was “speaking” to me.
I soon discovered these clothes represented fear about the future, fear about who I really am (and who I am not), fear about my value and worth.
How is that even possible?! It’s a collection of threads, for heaven’s sake!
What’s more, so many of the messages were lies. On hangers. They said:
- You’ll have to settle – you can’t get and don’t deserve what you really want.
- This is too beautiful for you. You’re not that person.
- You can’t rely on anyone but yourself.
- If your husband dies, you’ll have to go back to work full time. Be ready.
- Strength comes from looking good.
- Look outside yourself for love.
- You can’t trust your own experience; just ignore these emotions.
- You can control everything – how you’re perceived, how others feel.
- You can hide here. Be invisible.
I became aware of emotions, too.
The beautiful paisley skirt? I noticed sadness on that hanger. I’d worn it for my daughter’s baptism, but now it reminded me of my Aunt Barbara, who’d died shortly afterward.
When I can’t imagine my future I tend to cling to the past; to what’s familiar. Even when it doesn’t fit me anymore.
But fear calls us to prepare, to decide what action we need to take.
If you find yourself confronting fear in your own pursuit of the Clutter Free life, steep yourself in God-reality:
- “I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4
- Identify the fear or lie that each item brings up. Be specific.
- Trust that God will take care of your needs. “Save your fear for God, who holds your entire life—body and soul—in his hands.” Luke 12:5
- Make a decision about what you will do – or not do.
- In faith, make room for the new thing God is preparing.
As I read the final words in the 12th chapter of Luke, I felt myself exhaling.
“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving.” Luke 12:24 (MSG)
God, help me to be grateful for all you have already given me. Help me let go and live lightly. Keep me open to receive what you want to give me, above all your love and direction.
Kimberly Gonsalves helps parents thrive while raising capable, connected, compassionate, resilient kids. An ICF-accredited coach, she combines Adlerian-based principles of mutually respectful relationships with the science of healthy habit creation, helping parents bring their best to their most important leadership roles. Married for 25 years, she and her husband have a young adult son and high school aged daughter. Her family provides daily opportunities to practice walking her talk. Her motto is “Be creative: make a new mistake today!”
Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”
