#633 From Overwhelmed to Organized: A Step-by-Step Guide to Clutter-Free Meal Planning

#633 From Overwhelmed to Organized: A Step-by-Step Guide to Clutter-Free Meal Planning

633 – From Overwhelmed to Organized: A Step-by-Step Guide to Clutter-Free Meal Planning

Hey there, friend! Are you tired of feeling like a short-order cook seven days a week?

In this episode of Clutterfree Academy, host Kathi Lipp and co-host Tonya Kubo dive into the revolutionary concept of “Sabbath Soup,” as featured in Kathi’s upcoming book. Kathi emphasizes starting small, such as preparing one soup for Sunday, and gradually building up to a full week of planned meals. She also addresses common challenges like limited kitchen space and adapting the system for different family sizes and dietary needs.

Listeners will discover:

  • The importance of planning and protecting Sabbath rest
  • Tips for organizing the kitchen for efficient meal prep
  • Strategies for reducing cooking time and streamlining the “big cook day”
  • How to involve family members in the meal-planning process

Kathi and Tonya discuss the mental and emotional benefits of having a structured meal planning system, including reduced stress, more quality time with family, and true rest on the Sabbath. As mentioned by Kathi in the episode, here’s a picture of her clipboard and basket organizational tip for meal prepping. 

Preorder Sabbath Soup here and receive your free download bonus Sabbath Soup Shortcuts. The preorder bonus ends October 8, 2024.

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Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Clutter Free Resources:

Preorder Sabbath Soup here and receive your bonus down Sabbath Soup Shortcuts. Preorder bonus ends October 8, 2024

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Do you have some tips for getting the whole family involved in the meal-planning process?

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Kathi (00:01.424)

Hey friends, welcome to Clutterfree Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And sitting here with me is now officially, officially the co -host of Clutterfree Academy. Why did it take us so long? Why, why, why? It is Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya.

Tonya Kubo (00:23.696)

Hey Kathi, I don’t know why I just got all excited and got like warm fuzzies. This is so fun.

Kathi (00:26.786)

Yes. It’s well and you’re the co-host of two podcasts. So you’ve officially joined the crazy club. What’s your what’s your other podcast? Just so people know.

Tonya Kubo (00:34.28)

You

Tonya Kubo (00:39.47)

It’s called the business you really want and has absolutely nothing to do with clutter.

 

Kathi (00:45.224)

But you know what? A lot of our cluttery people are business moguls. So there is going to be a cross-section. So yay.

 

Tonya Kubo (00:50.47)

You try?

 

There is, there is. And you know what? I just find creatives tend to be cluttery, right? We have so many ideas, so many interests. So yeah, it totally makes sense for there to be overlap.

 

Kathi (00:59.514)

Yep, it’s so true.

 

Yep.

Kathi (01:06.436)

Well, and today we’re going to be talking about another aspect of my business because for the last time in the foreseeable future, I have a book coming out, which in the foreseeable future is I, know, there’ve been a number of books and like Kathi needs a break now and this book is all about having a break, which so this makes a lot of sense, right?

Tonya Kubo (01:18.6)

It is not the last time, Kathi. It is not the last.

 

Tonya Kubo (01:32.134)

Right, right.

 

Kathi (01:36.04)

So in October, I have a book coming out it’s called Sabbath Soup and it’s all about creating weekly rhythms and routines and of course, I want my cluttery people to have the first inside scoop because Let’s be honest Tonya. I wrote this for us Yeah, yes Well because I don’t know about anybody well, I do know about some of you, but I’ll just speak for myself

 

Tonya Kubo (01:55.366)

Right. Thank you. Thank you. I needed it. Okay.

 

Kathi (02:05.254)

The fact that dinner comes around every single night is the most annoying thing in the world. Like, didn’t I just do that and you want me to do it again tomorrow? Are you insane? And I do really well with a routine. And I do really well with batching tasks. I hate doing the little, you know, mic, I don’t know.

 

Tonya Kubo (02:20.915)

Hmm.

 

Kathi (02:31.034)

The idea of cooking a new unique dinner every single night just makes me absolutely insane. And so I have been working on this book. mean, this book has been a thing for a couple of years now and I’m, I’m not going to lie. I’m very, very excited about it. And, so we just wanted to take this podcast to really talk through the process that I feel like

 

Tonya Kubo (02:38.174)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (02:59.944)

is built especially for cluttery people. It’s about doing one kind of task each day so that you can feed your family and or yourself or your roommates or whoever it is, but also so that you can actually have a break on Sabbath, whatever that Sabbath may be, know, Saturday, Sunday, we happen to celebrate from sundown.

 

Tonya Kubo (03:03.07)

Mm

 

Kathi (03:26.084)

on Saturday to sundown on Sunday. And that is a lovely rhythm for Roger and I, the people, and I cook for a couple of extra people. I cook for my mom, I cook for our neighbor, but that to me has just worked out to be a great rhythm for Sabbath. Tonya, when do you tend to celebrate your Sabbath?

 

Tonya Kubo (03:49.02)

you are so cute, Kathi Lipp. I’m still working on the rest part. Well, I mean, right? Like you said, you wrote the book for us. And what I’m really excited about talking about today in the process that you’ve mapped out is we gave a sneak peek about this to our Clutterfree for Life members earlier this year. So, know.

 

Kathi (03:54.596)

Okay, okay, yes, right.

 

Kathi (04:14.118)

Yes. Yes.

 

Tonya Kubo (04:16.796)

We got to kind of run it by them and see how the cluttery people feel about this idea of Sabbath. And I’m just gonna be really blunt and admit the fact that so many of us, because of our cluttery ways, we don’t feel like we deserve the rest, right? And the Sabbath feels like something we have to earn. And I, you know,

 

Kathi (04:22.982)

Yes.

 

Kathi (04:38.136)

Mm -hmm, it’s so true.

 

Kathi (04:43.484)

Yes.

 

Tonya Kubo (04:45.786)

I know we’re going to talk a little bit about the routine because I think that’s so important for people to wrap their brains around. But I would love actually to just kick us off and talk about that. Talk to me as the person who oftentimes still works seven days a week. Like, talk about Sabbath as an earned reward versus Sabbath as you believe we are intended to experience it.

 

Kathi (04:58.916)

Yes. So.

 

Kathi (05:11.026)

So I believe that Sabbath doesn’t need to be earned. In fact, it would be like receiving a gift and saying, how much do I owe you for that?

 

So I get the feeling that I need to get everything done before I can take a Sabbath. I understand that feeling desperately. And also, can I just say, and I don’t mean this to denigrate who we are, but if you’re an American listening to this, it’s a very American way of thinking. Like I have to earn my rest. I have to complete everything.

 

Tonya Kubo (05:32.51)

Mm

 

Tonya Kubo (05:51.528)

Mm

 

Kathi (05:56.808)

on my to -do list in order for that to happen. And can I just say, Tonya and I are in very different stages of life. Your life is very 24 -7. You have kids who want your attention 24 -7. They have lots of activity. 100%, I get it. And let me say, when I needed this the most was when I had kids at home.

 

Tonya Kubo (06:13.746)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (06:25.286)

You know, and that’s when we really started to drill in on some of these Sabbath routines saying, because I don’t believe that Sam Sabbath needs to be earned. But for people like you and me, Tonya, who did not grow up necessarily with the idea of Sabbath, a Sabbath cannot be earned, but it must be planned. And yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (06:45.96)

Mm -hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (06:53.478)

Right. And what you’re helping me to kind of think about really on the fly here is planned and protected. I mean, isn’t that really what the book’s about too?

 

Kathi (07:02.728)

Yes. Yes, yes, it really is. So planned and protected to say we are going to be intentional. Now, Tonya, I don’t think you can go from zero to 70. I think, you know, the first step is to say, guys, I’m cooking lunch on Saturday that we will eat on Sunday. Or I’m ordering lunch on Sunday. You know, whatever that

 

Tonya Kubo (07:24.382)

Mm

 

Tonya Kubo (07:29.928)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

 

Kathi (07:32.46)

is. It’s the, it’s the, because here’s what I believe. It’s very easy for everybody else in the house to have a Sabbath except for mom. I are your, yeah. Are your kids really like working and planning ahead for the week on Sunday? I don’t think so. You know, and I know Brian is a partner with you when it comes to things, but for many of us,

 

Tonya Kubo (07:43.664)

Exactly.

 

Tonya Kubo (07:51.428)

No.

 

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (08:00.942)

the mental load and like the most basic of the mental loads, especially on the weekend is feeding the people. And so if that falls to you, then there is no break. And here, here’s the other thing I know. If we do not respect the rhythms that have been established for us, the rest is going to come one way or another.

 

Tonya Kubo (08:13.694)

Mm

 

Mm

 

Tonya Kubo (08:23.144)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (08:28.378)

It’s either going to come by choice or by breakdown.

 

Tonya Kubo (08:31.886)

Right. I was going to say, and the alternative is not necessarily one we want.

 

Kathi (08:36.4)

Right exactly. So I would love if sabbath is like, ha ha ha isn’t that funny? Can you start by saying? What would Sunday look like if I didn’t have to prep? lunch What and here’s what I mean about prep Even if you’re not the one doing the cooking You’re still the one probably doing the running

 

Tonya Kubo (08:52.072)

Mm -hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (09:00.232)

Mm

 

Kathi (09:04.23)

or the grabbing or the deciding, or this kid doesn’t wanna have chicken fingers and this kid desperately wants to. But if there’s a plan to pre-decide what is for lunch, and then the next thing is to pre-decide what is for dinner, and then to pre-decide what is for breakfast, that can take, it’s enough to make

 

Tonya Kubo (09:06.622)

Mm

 

Tonya Kubo (09:12.296)

Right.

 

Tonya Kubo (09:16.658)

Mm

 

Kathi (09:33.316)

that Sabbath day feels special, to feel different, to take some of the hustle out of the day. that’s, Tonya, I have a dream. And my dream for the Kubos is to have a day where mom doesn’t have to make those kind of decisions. Maybe you make the kind of decisions, do I take an hour nap or an hour and a half nap?

 

Tonya Kubo (09:36.871)

Right.

 

Kathi (10:00.04)

Do I watch a movie with my kids? Or do I just say, go do you? I’m going to read a book. Or do we decide as a family that we’re going to go do an outing? We’re going to go take a drive? It lays open some possibilities. Those are the kinds of decisions I want you to make.

 

Tonya Kubo (10:09.48)

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (10:22.886)

I love that. that makes it’s funny is because you know, Brian likes to say that I am the executive function for the entire household. And I, I love that he recognizes that. And I hate that that is a reality for so many, right? And who, who don’t have that acknowledged. And so I appreciate the purpose of the book. I appreciate the dream. I definitely, Kathi, just want to say thank you for you.

 

Kathi (10:30.674)

That’s exhausting.

 

Yes.

 

Kathi (10:39.952)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (10:52.2)

kind of laying out a customized gentle approach because now I’m going to ask you the really hard question, Kathi, which is thank you for the gentle approach that applies to the Kubos, but what is your routine like at this phase of life living on a mountain in the middle of nowhere in a house that tries to kill you quite frequently?

 

Kathi (10:59.933)

Yeah.

 

Kathi (11:03.386)

Yes.

 

Kathi (11:08.474)

Yes. Yes. So here’s what I’m going to do. We’re going to take a quick break. We’re going to pay some bills. We’re going to come back and I will tell you what our routine looks like with the inclusion of Sabbath soup because it changes everything. It really, really does. So we’re going to go back, go away, come right back, and let’s talk about our routine.

 

Okay friends, we are back and Tonya asked me what does our routine look like? So our routine is very different than when we lived in the heart of Silicon Valley, but I really wrote this for the people who are doing that kind of life, but it also works for my kind of life. So is it okay if I just kind of break down what we do each day? okay, so this really is a six-day plan and I know that sounds

 

Tonya Kubo (11:57.468)

Yes, please.

 

Kathi (12:03.162)

It’s a five or six-day plan. on Monday, I am preparing for next week’s meals. And you may say, okay, that’s very type A of you, Kathi. No, it is very type G of me. I don’t want the constant stress of what are we going to eat tonight? And so for me, who only really goes into town once a week, which is

 

Tonya Kubo (12:25.672)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (12:32.338)

by the way, a gift to me. There’s a lot of pre-planning that goes into it. And you’re like, well, I don’t have to plan that hard because I can go to the supermarket seven days a week if I want to. But why would you want to? That’s my question. Why would you want to do that? So Monday, I start with meal planning. So I might do a little inventory, like are there things that we need to use up? Are there things we’re running low on?

 

Tonya Kubo (12:34.888)

Mm

 

Kathi (13:01.8)

and then I plan out meals accordingly. I also take a look at what do we have coming up that week. Like this weekend, we have a double blammo. We’ve got our kids coming to visit, but also I’m going to a 30-year-old’s birthday party. So, you know, there’s this double whammy in the best way possible that.

 

Tonya Kubo (13:17.03)

Yay!

 

Tonya Kubo (13:25.918)

Mm

 

Kathi (13:28.612)

Not only did I need to prepare a meal for the birthday party, not a meal, an appetizer, but we also have kids coming who have dietary restrictions. So I take a look at all of that and I plan our meals. and in the coming weeks, Tonya, you and I are going to be talking about, okay, how do I plan these meals if I’m running, if I don’t have a lot of time? Like, how do I plan these meals if we’re on a tight budget? Those things.

 

So we’re gonna get to all of those. please, if you are not a subscriber to this podcast, hit that subscribe button because we’re going to unlock all the secrets. For everybody who’s listening, we want to make this easy for you. Okay, so Monday is planning day. Tuesday is I clean out my fridge. Now, Wednesday also happens to be garbage day, which we are taking much, yes, it really does help a lot. But that’s also when I make my shopping.

 

Tonya Kubo (13:56.284)

Mm

 

Tonya Kubo (14:08.563)

Yes.

 

Tonya Kubo (14:20.915)

That’s helpful.

 

Tonya Kubo (14:26.088)

Mm

 

Kathi (14:26.564)

So I will make my shopping list on Tuesday. And here’s the beautiful thing. I order a lot of our groceries from Sam’s Club or from another supermarket that we have here in California called Rayleigh’s or Safeway, one of the others, depending on where we’re going to run our errands. So I will put that order in the night before because Wednesday is typically when we would go to town.

 

Tonya Kubo (14:48.094)

Hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (14:52.846)

Mm

 

Kathi (14:52.936)

Things have changed since I wrote the book and now we go to town on Tuesday So I’m doing a lot of things on Tuesday But for the plan of the book if your shopping day is Wednesday, that’s gonna work out really really well for you. So Wednesday, I’m gonna go pick everything up and I pick up everything that we need for our cooking sessions I pick up anything that we’re running low on like cereal or milk that kind of thing but

 

Tonya Kubo (15:01.031)

Yes.

 

Tonya Kubo (15:09.96)

Mm

 

Kathi (15:19.194)

It’s all waiting for me. And can I just tell you, if you’re not already a Sam’s Club fan, I actually was interviewed for an article about how much I love Sam’s Club, because I really do. They load it into the back of your car. Do you have a Sam’s Club near you, Tonya? No, I’m sad for you. moving on for those less fortunate.

 

Tonya Kubo (15:30.107)

you

 

Tonya Kubo (15:37.35)

how nice.

 

Not really, no.

 

Kathi (15:46.106)

And you know, we go to Costco every once in a while too, but Sam’s Club is my ride or die. So Thursday is really prep day for me. So Thursday is when I get out the Cuisinart, I’m chopping all of the veggies, I wash, spin, chop. I do that for salad ingredients, all of that kind of stuff. It helps me not feel so overwhelmed on cooking day.

 

Tonya Kubo (16:14.162)

Mm

 

Kathi (16:14.606)

And I might even do things like saute the hamburger meat or something like that to start prepping my meals. And then depending on my schedule, Friday or Saturday is cooking day. And it helps me so much to have that plan already laid out. I know what I’m gonna do.

 

Tonya Kubo (16:22.238)

Mm

 

Kathi (16:41.232)

I try to be as organized as I possibly can, but that Monday through Friday routine never varies. Things come up every once in a while, I may need to do the cooking, mean the shopping and the prepping on one day. Sometimes I’ll need to do that, but, and sometimes I like to work ahead. Like if I’m doing cookies, I may do the cookie dough on Thursday, because that’s an easy thing to do.

 

But it makes it so much easier. I’m prepared. I know where we’re going to eat for the rest of the week. It makes it a breeze.

 

Tonya Kubo (17:21.854)

Okay, so it sounds like it’s really organized. It sounds like it’s fairly easy for you to sort of switch things up as they need to be if your day into town changes. So how does this benefit your Sabbath, your day of rest?

 

Kathi (17:33.424)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

 

Kathi (17:41.052)

Because I don’t do anything on Sunday except for reheat. Right, right.

 

Tonya Kubo (17:44.52)

Okay, but you have to like explain this whole do nothing thing. That’s hard for Tonya Kubo to understand.

 

Kathi (17:51.17)

Yeah, so I almost every single week make a big pot of soup for us to have after church on Sunday. And I so that’s one of the main meals I’ll cook. So that is I do that on Sunday. I also prep our breakfast for before church. So if I’m going to do say like French toast, what I’ll do is I’ll have all the ingredients there.

 

Tonya Kubo (18:00.744)

Mm

 

Kathi (18:20.996)

It’s already decided what I’m doing, right? The bacon is defrosted. The bread is already set out. If I get ambitious, I might even whip up the eggs and milk and cinnamon and nutmeg to dip the bread in. The fruit is already chopped.

 

Tonya Kubo (18:24.414)

Got it.

 

Tonya Kubo (18:29.096)

Mm -hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (18:45.31)

Mm

 

Tonya Kubo (18:49.79)

Got it.

 

Kathi (18:50.756)

The dinner that I’m doing Sunday night is going to be usually some kind of casserole or something like that. Also, Saturday night is like our main meal. So like I might do a roast chicken or I might do a ham or soup because I’m going to take those ingredients, that chicken and whatever we don’t eat on Saturday night, that becomes part of Monday night’s dinner or Tuesday night’s dinner. It’s leftovers on purpose.

 

Tonya Kubo (19:16.904)

Mm

 

Kathi (19:20.622)

So I am making all my decisions earlier in the week. So Sunday, it’s just like, I need to put the enchilada casserole in the oven. Bam, it’s done. It’s not that I need to cook or prepare the enchilada casserole. No, I just need to put it in the oven. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.

 

Tonya Kubo (19:32.744)

Done.

 

Tonya Kubo (19:40.006)

Right. Yeah. And so I, you know, in the book you talk about your big cook day. So I’m going to be honest when, when you talk about it, I know you have explained it to me privately and I want you to explain to listeners because every time it comes up, like my default thought is I have to cook from like six in the morning until nine at night. So

 

Kathi (19:45.702)

Mm -hmm. Right.

 

Kathi (19:51.74)

Yeah.

 

Okay. Yes.

 

Kathi (20:05.242)

I would never do that, that sounds terrible.

 

Tonya Kubo (20:07.793)

Right, so tell me, tell me about the big cook day. How does that work?

 

Kathi (20:10.586)

Okay, so remember we’ve prepped everything on Thursday as far can we all agree that chopping all the vegetables is usually the worst part of all of it?

 

Tonya Kubo (20:21.086)

100 % 100 % zero notes. Yes.

 

Kathi (20:24.398)

Yes, yes. So that’s why like on Thursday, I’m pulling because I don’t know about you. Like my food processor, I never want to pull it out because it’s kind of a pain in the butt to clean. But if I’m chopping all the onions and I’m chopping all the carrots and I’m chopping all the mushrooms and I’m chopping all the celery, and I’m chopping all the pepper, you know, here’s the thing, I’m just going to wipe it out between chops. And I’m only washing it once.

 

Tonya Kubo (20:36.839)

Yes!

 

Kathi (20:51.784)

By the way, can I tell you the best part of this plan? I hate to do dishes. It’s it’s it’s my kryptonite you know, who doesn’t mind doing dishes is mr. Roger and So I do all the cooking he does all the cleaning now sometimes he’ll help me prep Especially if we’re snowed in or something like that, but I I don’t I pretty much don’t touch a dish But even if I had to I’d rather do the bulk of dishes on one day

 

Tonya Kubo (20:55.326)

Please.

 

Tonya Kubo (21:11.666)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (21:22.148)

than all throughout the week because it really does cut down on our dishwashing throughout the week. But okay, so I have learned things about doing this big cook since writing the book. Like, my goodness. Okay. I think you are. So I used to just say, okay, I’m going to work on this recipe. Then I’m going to work on this recipe. So a couple of things I’ve done.

 

Tonya Kubo (21:24.006)

you

 

Tonya Kubo (21:36.67)

Tell me. Because I feel like I’m getting inside information along with everybody else.

 

Kathi (21:49.668)

And Tonya, I will get pictures of this so we can put it in the net. One thing I do for each recipe that I’m preparing, I have a plastic basket. And the on Thursday, I put all the things I can in that basket for that recipe. and this is really important. For each recipe, I have a clipboard that I have either photocopied the recipe.

 

Tonya Kubo (22:18.27)

Mm

 

Kathi (22:18.492)

because you’re allowed to do that if you own the book. You can photocopy that recipe and I’ll put it on that clipboard or print it out, however you’re gonna do it. And I clip that onto the clipboard. I put that clipboard in the basket. So when I’m going and gathering all the ingredients, all the ingredients are in the basket, except for we’re not putting raw chicken in the basket on Thursday. yes.

 

Tonya Kubo (22:26.056)

Mm -hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (22:43.282)

I appreciate that clarification.

 

Kathi (22:45.53)

We you know, we’re putting things in there like the can of salsa the jar of tomatoes the loaf of bread the the peaches, know, whatever that is so everything’s going in that basket because I feel like So much of the cooking experience is going around and finding all the stuff so

 

Tonya Kubo (22:56.797)

Mm -hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (23:08.462)

my gosh, that’s the 6 a to 9 p thing. It’s racing back and forth on your kitchen.

 

Kathi (23:11.18)

Yes, yes. Right, so all the spices are going in there. And somebody said, well, what if you’re using the same ingredient in a bunch of different things? So you put like the salt and pepper, I put that in the basket I’m preparing first. And then I’ll just put the salt and pepper into the next basket. The other.

 

Tonya Kubo (23:29.278)

Okay, that makes sense. I could figure that out all by myself, Kathi. I could.

 

Kathi (23:33.776)

Yes, I you know, but you know, sometimes people we we both have people in our lives, Tonya, they’re newer neurodivergent, right? They’re neuro spicy. And until you tell them exactly what to do, you know, they don’t want to do things wrong. And I appreciate what not wanting to do things wrong. So we’re going to help out our friends that and it’s not just neuro spicy people. It’s all of us who sometimes just we need to be taken by the hand.

 

Tonya Kubo (23:36.862)

Mm

 

Tonya Kubo (23:43.058)

Mm -hmm. Yep.

 

Tonya Kubo (23:56.382)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (24:03.214)

Another thing that I’ve learned since writing the book is I have two sets of measuring cups. I have two sets of measuring spoons, one for wet and one for dry. And that and then a bunch of measure glass measuring cups and a set of bowls, one for wet and one for dry. And that has made a huge difference to me. And

 

Tonya Kubo (24:03.39)

Mm

 

Tonya Kubo (24:21.309)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (24:31.256)

I’ve learned that since writing the book because I just always did what I always did and then I really challenged myself. How can I make this easier? How can I cut the time down? And I feel like I went from cooking for about maybe four hours on the weekends to closer to two or three. Yeah, so I think.

 

That does not include doing all the dishes. Can we just say you’re gonna have to do dishes for a while? But you’re doing them all in one day instead of everything else. So I will put some pictures of how I do the baskets with the clipboards, but game changer, absolute game changer.

 

Tonya Kubo (25:14.864)

Okay. Okay. So I’ve been at your house before. You have more counter space than I do, but I wouldn’t say you have a ton of counter space. So where are you setting all of this up?

 

Kathi (25:18.715)

Yes.

 

No, I don’t.

 

Okay, so a couple of things. I’m doing it on my kitchen table for the most part. Having an extension cord has really helped out with being able to move things around. And also, I spent some time in my kitchen really thinking about how I’m using my space. And we actually just bought a kitchen island on wheels.

 

Tonya Kubo (25:31.483)

Okay.

 

Tonya Kubo (25:39.634)

Mm -hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (25:54.269)

Kathi (25:54.96)

Have I not shown this to you yet?

 

Tonya Kubo (25:56.644)

No, I do not. I have no knowledge of this. Is your life changed?

 

Kathi (26:00.6)

Tonya, my bright blue kitchen island is everything. Because not only is it gorgeous and it gives me more prep space, it has cabinets underneath where I can store everything I’m using for this process.

 

Tonya Kubo (26:10.302)

Whoa.

 

Tonya Kubo (26:21.766)

You know we Clegary people love a good cabinet.

 

Kathi (26:24.376)

And this is a great cabinet. I’m like, Tonya, this is going to make you weep openly. I have not filled up this entire thing.

 

Yeah, it’s kind of beautiful. So I would encourage you, you may not think you have the space for something. And when I say I rethought my space, can we just be honest? My friend, Tenille, came to my house and helped me rethink my space. And she said, yeah, she says, I think you should have a kitchen island. And I said, where? And she showed me how and we had to move my kitchen table about eight times.

 

Tonya Kubo (26:46.376)

Mm -hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (26:51.87)

Tenille is so good at that.

 

Kathi (27:03.88)

and we finally dialed it in. And you know, we sometimes have big groups to our house. So I needed to be able to put the leaves in the kitchen table. But really 90 % of this is set up on my kitchen table. so having that extension cord has been a game changer because I can leave my mixer set up over there. I can, if I want to, I can cook in my air fryer on my kitchen table.

 

Tonya Kubo (27:06.366)

Mmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (27:22.27)

Mm

 

Kathi (27:33.0)

We’re making it work. It’s kind of a beautiful thing.

 

Tonya Kubo (27:38.664)

That sounds so efficient.

 

Kathi (27:42.022)

Mm -hmm.

 

Tonya Kubo (27:43.408)

How long? mean, like, how much? I feel like this is like a life’s work. Like, this is your opus.

 

Kathi (27:48.474)

I, yes, I do feel that deeply. Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (27:52.51)

So how long did it take you to sort all this out?

 

Kathi (27:57.668)

So this has been in phases for sure. I think you remember me talking about six chicks freeze and fix. My cooking club that I did, especially when my kids were younger, where we would each make three meals, six of us, each of us would make three meals, but we’d make six family size portions of it. And then we’d swap it all together. So I learned a lot by doing that. And then when it was just me and Roger,

 

I said, I don’t need to plan anymore. And then I got really mad at Roger for wanting dinner on a regular basis. And I’m like, well, maybe I need to rethink these things. And I got really mad when everybody could relax on Sundays except for me, because people still needed to eat. But I also didn’t want to spend a ton of money going out for every meal, right? And so this, I feel like this is my master’s.

 

Tonya Kubo (28:57.448)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (28:57.8)

and cooking and planning, but the gift is not becoming a professional. The gift is getting a day off a week. And it’s made me, it’s made me very, so I feel like people who have never really in a real way experienced a Sabbath are actually gonna have a transition time if they start to do this.

 

Tonya Kubo (29:06.738)

Yeah.

 

Kathi (29:25.112)

I don’t say dive in with I’m just gonna lay around all day Sunday, like transition in small ways. to put, I think it’s really important to not have a big old day just kind of looming out there in front of you, but to say, and to dream about if my family had the time, what would we do with it?

 

And I think that that’s a really beautiful way of approaching it. And let me also say this, like this Sunday, I’m gonna cook on Sunday, but let me explain why. It’s because my stepson Jeremy is coming. And every time he comes up here, we try to perfect our ravioli recipe. And so we’re going to enjoy our time cooking, but we don’t have to cook.

 

Tonya Kubo (30:11.382)

Aww.

 

Kathi (30:18.076)

the rest of the time here because it’s already planned out. I already know that on Saturday we’re having salmon and we’re having potato salad and asparagus. I already know that. We’re gonna cook some of that on Saturday night because we wanna have it on the barbecue and Roger loves to barbecue. But the ingredients are already bought. I have no stress about it because it’s already happening. It’s a gift.

 

Tonya Kubo (30:46.078)

That is such excellent advice. mean, you’ve talked about starting small. You’ve talked and you’ve given us a great plan of how we can do that. You’ve talked about, you know, just how we can make this manageable, how we can maximize our space. I really appreciate how thoughtful this is. I feel like I’m not going to say this is better than getting the book because the book is what has the recipes. This just has a detail of the process. But I feel like

 

Kathi (31:11.814)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (31:14.876)

This episode is such a great compliment to the book. Any final thoughts for us? Anything else we need to know after listening to this whole process laid out?

 

Kathi (31:21.295)

Yeah.

 

Kathi (31:26.192)

So I love what you said about starting small. And so I would really encourage you, if you do nothing else, can you cook a pot of soup on Friday or Saturday to have on Sunday? So the reason it’s called Sabbath soup, and there are a million different kinds of recipes in here. Yes, it’s not just soup recipes. Like there are so many bangers in there.

 

Tonya Kubo (31:49.03)

I was gonna say, you have to tell them it’s not just soup recipes.

 

Kathi (31:55.686)

the macaroni and cheese, the roasted chicken, like there’s so many great recipes. But here’s why I think soup is such an excellent Sabbath meal. Because it’s usually a one pot meal. I’m gonna cook it on Friday or Saturday. I’m gonna let it cool down. I’m just gonna stick that entire pot in the refrigerator. And then I’m going to pull it out when I am ready to cook it.

 

You can buy a loaf of bread at the supermarket. You can buy a bag salad to put with it. You’re done. That is you have already checked off one meal. And by the way, if if you don’t have leftovers from soup, what are we even doing here? And there are some bigger families who are going to have to have double some of these recipes. But we love to have that soup on Tuesday night. So we’re going to have it.

 

Tonya Kubo (32:43.858)

Yeah.

 

Kathi (32:50.564)

on sat on Sunday after church and then we’re gonna have it again on Tuesday night. And if it’s chili, we may put it on top of a potato, we’re gonna figure something else out with it. But sometimes because it’s just the two of us and we’re feeding our neighbor and my mom, sometimes it has enough for eight that I just freeze some of that and that’s fast food for another week. And like I have so many blocks of soup and I just feel like they’re little

 

bags of gold in my freezer. It makes me so happy because all I have to do is pull it out the night before Let it defrost and i’m ready for lunch the next day. So I would say start small Find a recipe you love if you don’t get the book. It’s okay Find a recipe you already love that you already make i’m going to tell you all the ways to prepare for your cook day are

 

between this podcast and the book are there. And I think so much of the mental break that so many of us are looking for is somebody just laying out the plan. And I feel like I’ve done that for you. I’ve done the research, the hard work, the ideas. You can adjust a lot of these recipes for your family’s dietary needs or their preferences.

 

You’ll notice there are not a lot of green peppers in the book because I think they’re disgusting. It’s my own prejudice, but you can put them into your family meals. I will not be discouraged. Yes, yes. So Tonya, you are not a Sabbath person. So I’m going to turn the tables on you. what, what, is there something you think you can grab onto here?

 

Tonya Kubo (34:21.658)

All you want, right?

 

Tonya Kubo (34:29.48)

Okay.

 

Tonya Kubo (34:34.526)

Well, yes, I mean, as you know, we’re recording this the week before school starts. And we have a whole new thing with kids in different schools. We haven’t had that before. And it’s about 50 minute drive between schools we mapped out. And so I’ve actually really been leaning in. I don’t have the full book, right? But I have like a little sampler of it and I’ve been really leaning into the process and I am actually fortunate.

 

Kathi (34:39.131)

Yes, yes.

 

Kathi (34:44.52)

Kathi (34:49.66)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kathi (34:55.783)

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (35:03.422)

maybe even more fortunate than you, Kathi, because I have a Brian who quite honestly is very similar to Mr. Roger. But I also have a Lily who is 14 and is very excited about taking on some of the cooking for the family. And so I have a partner. You know, I have more than one partner in my house to do this, but we’ve already been talking about like implementing the book. And so for us, it’s really going to be about starting with

 

Kathi (35:07.26)

Yes.

 

Right.

 

Yes

 

Kathi (35:23.452)

Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (35:32.722)

getting used to having a plan to soup a week, then the next step is going to be cutting down on our grocery store trips. Because Brian likes to go to the store every day on the way home from work. And so then it’s going to be about what does it look like if we only go to the store once a week? And I feel like the plan is going to come together with those two things. Everything else is really going to fall into place for us.

 

Kathi (35:43.728)

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

 

Kathi (35:54.716)

Yeah.

 

my goodness, I just love it. And guys, we are going to put information about how to get the book. Right now it would be a pre -order, but there is a gift if you pre -order the book. It’s a sampler. I don’t know, how else would you describe it, Tonya? Is it? Yes. Yes, okay. Okay.

 

Tonya Kubo (36:15.474)

That’s what I call it, it’s a sampler. That’s what I have, right? Because I’ve pre -ordered the book. So I have the sampler. I love it. You know, people think I get all this stuff for free. I buy this stuff, folks. I buy it.

 

Kathi (36:25.392)

Okay guys, I offer to her for free But yeah, just so you know, I know because she’s amazing and I do that for people I support too Because I want them to have that sale. I want them to know that I’m in it and I want the pre -order Bonuses, so we’re gonna put all the information in there because the sampler will get you started That’s what I want for you. The sampler will get you started

 

Tonya Kubo (36:28.862)

But I still buy it!

 

What’s in it?

 

Tonya Kubo (36:39.902)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

 

Tonya Kubo (36:49.275)

Yes.

 

Kathi (36:53.576)

So we’re gonna give you all that pre-order information. You can get it at any of your favorite retailers Tonya I feel like this podcast episode is the best companion we could have done to Sabbath soup. I’m so excited Thank you so much for being excited with me and we’re gonna have to we’re gonna have to find out what Lily’s favorite recipes are We’re gonna need we’re gonna need a report back from her on that. Okay

 

Tonya Kubo (37:07.996)

I think so too.

 

Tonya Kubo (37:20.178)

We will do it in the name of research for you, Kathi.

 

Kathi (37:22.18)

Okay, I love it. Well, friends, you’ve been listening to the Clutterfree Podcast. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now go create the clutter-free life you’ve always wanted to live.

More Posts 

#654 Declutter Your Life: 100 Spaces, 15 Minutes Each

#654 Declutter Your Life: 100 Spaces, 15 Minutes Each

Hey there, friend! In this episode of Clutter-Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo help listeners kick off 2025 with a practical plan for a clutter-free home. Kathi shares her personal goal of decluttering 100 spaces in her house this year and how she’s breaking it...

#632 Decluttering with Teens and Other Family Members: Life Lessons in Letting Go and Prioritizing What Matters

#632 Decluttering with Teens and Other Family Members: Life Lessons in Letting Go and Prioritizing What Matters

632 Decluttering with Teens and Other Family Members: Life Lessons in Letting Go and Prioritizing What Matters

Hey there, friends! Can you relate to this statement? The Teenage Years: that stage where your sweet kiddos suddenly develop opinions about everything and seem to forget how to unload a dishwasher.

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp welcomes Amy Betters-Midtvedt, author of “You’ll Make It (and They Will Too),” for an insightful discussion on parenting teenagers. Amy shares personal anecdotes and practical advice, offering hope and encouragement to parents in the trenches of teen years. Whether dealing with resistance to chores or preparing teens for adulthood, this conversation offers valuable insights for parents, grandparents, and educators alike.

Listeners will discover:

  • How to implement a fair and fun chore wheel system
  • The value of allowing teens to develop independence and responsibility
  • Navigating the transition when teens leave for college and return home
  • How building a strong family community prepares teens for life’s challenges

This episode provides listeners with actionable strategies for fostering independence, improving communication, and creating a harmonious household environment. And as promised, here’s the picture of Amy’s son who has “triple the personality of the average child.”

Click here to be notified when the next episode is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

 

Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

How did you navigate the shift from parenting young children to parenting teenagers?

Share in the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Amy Betters-Midtvedt

Amy Betters-Midtvedt is a writer, educator and mom of 5. Her passions include piling on the couch with her family to binge watch the Office, buying all the books she possibly can, trying to finish a conversation with her husband without being interrupted and writing to help people find the joy in their everyday lives.
You can connect with Amy at amybettersmidtvedt.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Kathi (00:00.656)

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps every day to live life with less clutter But more life and guys, it’s a special day around here She is one of my

Favorite follows on social media if you’re not following her I’m gonna drop the link below because you need to Because you just need to be in that place where you get a little shot of hope a little shot of humor and a little shot of love every day and that is what I get from our Guests guys. It’s Amy Betters-Midtvedt.

Welcome. Welcome back to Clutter Free Academy

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (00:50.472)

Thank you so much. And it always just gives me such a thrill to hear you say anything, all these nice things about me because I was following you for so long before we even met and was such a fan. So it’s just like, I’m always like fan girling a little bit. So thank you. I appreciate

Kathi (01:04.39)

Stop it, it, stop it, because here’s the thing. I just feel like you have there. There are probably, I don’t know, like 10 people who have a daily impact on my life. Like I learn a little something from them or, you know, it’s just that shot of humor. I don’t follow anybody who isn’t funny. OK, that’s not true. There are a couple of people who kick my butt in the best way possible. But you are funny and you are so relatable.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (01:29.372)

Yes, I hear

Kathi (01:33.758)

And I’m so grateful to have you as a daily part of my life. So, and you have your first book baby. And I know, okay, you’ll make it and they will too. Okay, can I tell you I have made it and they have too? But can I tell you, it doesn’t stop. I will say I’m very grateful that they are all grown adults.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (01:53.785)

Stop.

Kathi (02:01.904)

They’re all pretty much what they’re doing, what they’re supposed to be. And here’s the thing that I’m super grateful for now that I don’t take for granted anymore. We are in each other’s lives and we like being in each other’s lives. And has it surprised you how many people are not in that situation anymore? I, you know, I never, first of all, I never knew it was an option not to have a

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (02:15.996)

Yes, that’s the goal.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (02:30.418)

Right?

Kathi (02:31.982)

Like I didn’t know that that was I mean i’m so up in my mom’s life that I live in her house three days a week now but I I used to think it was just about getting them across the finish line And by the way guys if you’re like, my kids are out of here. We’re fine I want you to listen to this Because we’re not just talking about I mean we are talking about teenagers and pre -teens and all of

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (02:39.61)

Ha ha

Kathi (03:00.538)

But also, we’re going to be talking about communication, we’re going to be talking about household. But I used to think the goal was just to get them raised and make them productive members of society. But that’s not, I mean, that’s not the goal. So tell me what the goal is and how do you get

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (03:20.146)

Well, think the goal, think is that exactly what you’re talking about that you are experiencing is that lifelong connection with these people that you love more than anything and staying in that space together where you want, they want to be with you. Like they want to be connected to you and you want to be connected to them for all the days, right? That you are each other’s people always. And that it sounds like great, but also it’s not actually

Kathi (03:38.084)

Mm -hmm.

Right. Yeah. Yes.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (03:49.584)

super easy always to do. It’s not necessarily automatic. Like I assumed that would be automatic, but I could see in my parenting ways that I was pushing kids into a totally different space. You know, then why would you want to come back and be with this version of me?

Kathi (03:51.928)

Right,

Kathi (04:07.29)

Okay, first of all, that’s hard for me to imagine, but you have a chapter in your book that is basically saying you’re not parenting you. okay, so unpack that because I, you know, I really did grow up thinking, well, I’ll just do what my parents did and I’ll get the parent, you know, the same results. And that is, that is not true. So, so tell me about that. Unpack that for me.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (04:30.8)

my gosh, it’s so false.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (04:34.962)

Okay, so for me, I really very much expected to be parenting five little versions of me, right? And so I did this just what you said, like what my, I had great parents. I am still in their lives. We live in the same community. We attend church together on Sunday. I love being with them. And so just thought that’s what it was gonna be. But very quickly I realized I had created very different humans with my husband that were not me. I was a very, I know.

Kathi (04:40.036)

Yes, yes.

Kathi (04:59.11)

How dare they? How dare they?

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (05:04.766)

just needed to go back and tell my mom she was lucky. Like I was like this rule following, church attending, just right. I wanted to do well in school, all the things. Give me some rules and some guidelines and I will follow them like a boss, right? And I birthed five questioners who really liked to, they don’t rules? What are you talking about? I’m going to forge my own path and have my own ideas. And it was very shocking when.

Kathi (05:07.398)

Right

Kathi (05:18.416)

Yeah, yes.

Kathi (05:23.238)

Mmm.

Kathi (05:26.702)

Yeah, yes, yes.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (05:33.438)

my oldest daughter, you know, met those teen years and very much was her own person making her own decisions and doing things that 14 year old me never would have dreamed of doing. And so I felt like, well, what do I do now? I’m grounding her. I am taking things away. I am like, you know, I am giving her lectures. None of this is working. And it was a hopeless feeling for a while

Kathi (05:43.745)

Right.

Kathi (05:47.738)

Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

Kathi (05:56.464)

Right?

Kathi (06:00.888)

Yeah, you know what? All you had to do was show me the picture of your son leaning against the car and say, you guys, we’ll drop that picture into the show notes because I don’t know his personality, but I just know he has tripled the personality of your average child.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (06:11.368)

Yeah.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (06:20.254)

Yeah, that is him a thousand percent. That is all of my people that live in this house.

Kathi (06:27.544)

Well, you know what? This would not be a Clutterfree Academy discussion without talking about, I want to hit on two things. I want to talk about chores, because you have a whole chapter about chores, which I think some of us are relearning as adults how to do that. But first of all, I want to talk about communication. And can I tell you, you gave me so much relief.

that somebody who is raising such fine human beings as yourself, because we’re a blended family, my husband’s kids call him and talk to him.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (07:04.638)

You’re going out a little

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (07:11.304)

I missed the beginning of

Kathi (07:27.366)

for 30, 45 minutes at least once or twice a week. And my whole relationship with my children is by text. And you know what? We have a great relationship. If I called them or they called me, it’s probably because one of us is in the hospital or jail. But you actually say using technology can be a strategy with your kids. Talk about

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (07:56.638)

Absolutely. It can be really hard to get our teenagers to talk. that’s, we say technology is all bad. It’s not like there are things that that kids will tell you over a text that they couldn’t tell you with their mouths. And that is a wonderful, beautiful thing. And texting is also like, it’s so easy and immediate that especially when our kids leave, like when my girls went to college, it was really easy for them just we could drop a couple of texts as they were walking to class. And you can leave that thread lay there for hours until someone comes back to it.

Kathi (08:04.589)

It’s not.

Kathi (08:08.227)

Mmm.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (08:25.426)

where a phone call just seemed like they just didn’t have time. So I relate to that when my were out now they’re all five are back for the next year. but yeah, there’s a whole nother book there. so yeah, so, so we did a lot of that, but it really is, you know, the text I asked them not to send me is just like the mom question mark or mom. need to tell you something like that. Those strike fear of like, just tell me the thing.

Kathi (08:32.459)

wow.

Okay.

Kathi (08:50.724)

Yeah. Right. Right.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (08:53.65)

don’t set it up for me because it’s either going to be like, want money for Culver’s or I’m in jail. I don’t know. So right. Whatever it is. So we need, we need to tax appropriately, but that I think is a wonderful way, especially when they’re really stuck in their rooms and not coming out a lot. We’ll just text and it works great.

Kathi (08:58.65)

Yes, yes.

Kathi (09:09.262)

Yeah, yeah.

And you know, I think about that. I am 57. There are times when I do not want to talk to people. know, there are people that I, you know, they’ll send me, you know, they’ll call me and leave a voicemail. And I’m like, in the year of our Lord 2024, that just feels really aggressive. Like, yes.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (09:33.982)

It’s aggressive. Like you should be in jail if you’re gonna do that. Or you should be a medical professional that’s telling you when my appointment is. That’s it. And even then they can text. I’m gonna tell you.

Kathi (09:41.23)

You know, and I have, right. I feel like, you know, oftentimes I’ll say, I need, I need to talk to you, but just know everything is okay. Nobody’s in jail. You’re not in trouble. Like all the, but there are some things you do want to say, but it’s almost like I’m sending an invitation to, set up a phone call. Okay. Amy, we’re going to take a quick break. We’re going to pay a few, few bills. And then when we come back, I want to get down to it.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (09:51.314)

Right, right.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (10:00.626)

Yes, yes, I love that.

Kathi (10:09.826)

rules and chores because can I just tell you I feel like this when I think about the biggest struggles of my parenting life these are them these are the things so we’ll we’ll we’ll pay some bills and come right

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (10:11.89)

You got it.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (10:20.913)

Yeah. Yes.

All right, sounds

Kathi (10:27.064)

Okay guys, we are back with amy betters midvet you guys the name of her book is you’ll make it and they will too And you may not be in these teenage years, but you know somebody who is and so this is not to give them advice. We’ll let amy give advice because You know, she’s the she’s the she’s the one in the trenches and actually has got some kids out of the house But here’s what I know we can be such a support to our friends

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (10:43.602)

Hahaha!

Kathi (10:56.912)

who are raising teenagers and without giving advice, but just saying, I’m here for you. Yeah, my kids did the same thing. It won’t be like this forever. So I need you to help me unpack some trauma when it comes to house rules and chores. It’s, right. What is the resistance? Like, I think we’re not raising selfish kids.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (10:57.246)

Amen. yes.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (11:15.127)

I know. It’s a thing. It’s a thing.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (11:24.732)

No, no.

Kathi (11:25.264)

But the idea that I have asked, like how offended my kids would get with the request to unload the dishwasher.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (11:33.554)

thousand percent, a thousand percent relate to that. And we have had that here so many times. And I think this is where a little of my like teacher education background has really played a big role and helped me to really work on this. For thing number one, we needed to debunk in this house. And I think everybody who’s listening can relate to this, whether you have kids or not, or teenagers or not, is this idea that somehow mom, everything is mom’s job.

Kathi (11:44.486)

Ahhhh. Yeah.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (11:59.91)

And if I am unloading the dishwasher, I’m helping mom. So I think that’s part of why people get offended. It’s like, I don’t really want to help you right now. You’re not helping me. Like it’s not all my job. This doesn’t like for some reason, like I’m the mom. And so I own all the jobs in the house. So I did take chart paper at one point because I’m a teacher and I put it up and I listed all the jobs that it took to run a household. And I pulled the kids in and I just said, who, who is responsible for this? Well, almost everything was mom. There were some things that were dad. Every once in while, a kid’s name was mentioned. I said, look at

Kathi (12:07.445)

No!

Kathi (12:16.134)

Yeah. Yeah.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (12:29.49)

Look at this list. Look at all the jobs I have. Can you walk around the house and rate me on how I’m doing?” And the house was just trashed. They walked around and came back and my little Sam, who was like eight at the time, said, no offense, mom, but you’re not doing a very good job. I said, you are correct. Because it is impossible for me to do all these jobs because they’re actually not all my jobs. These are all everybody’s jobs. These are just the jobs of the community that live in the home. So we’re no longer going to say these are mom’s jobs. These are community jobs.

Kathi (12:34.841)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:52.976)

Yes.

Kathi (12:57.656)

Mm -mm. Mm -hmm.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (12:58.866)

And we’re going to talk about how we can actually work together so that the house doesn’t look like this. You’re right. There is a problem and we’re all going to fix it together. So leaning into that idea that we are a community. We need to take care of our property in the community. We need to take care of our home. We need to take care of our lawn and our cars and all the things. And everybody who lives here is responsible for that and move them out of this mindset that they try to hold onto from when they were little is that mom’s always going to take care of me. I am, but I’m also going to teach you how to be.

Kathi (13:11.226)

Mmm.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (13:28.326)

a person that other people won’t hate to live with and a person who understands their role in the community. Like this is what it is. And so that mindset shift, we work on that continually along with this mindset that like if you’re a boy, you also can do laundry. And if you’re a girl, you can also probably change the oil. Like gender does not determine what you are able to do. So really breaking a lot of those things and then trying to make it fun. Like I bought a chore wheel. So like all the worst chores are on the chore wheel.

Kathi (13:32.366)

Right?

Kathi (13:45.039)

Yes.

Kathi (13:56.078)

Yeah. Nice.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (13:57.436)

and we spin it every week and we all get one of the bad chores. I get a bad chore, my husband gets a bad chore, each kid does, because we’re just as, we’re on the same level. We’re all the same people. And so that’s really been the biggest shift. It’s a work in progress and my house is a work in progress, but it’s really, I think that’s the linchpin to actual lasting change.

Kathi (14:02.574)

Right, right.

Yes.

Kathi (14:13.605)

Yes.

Kathi (14:19.598)

You know, I don’t know about you, but I have learned so much from my daughters about these attitudes, right? I’ll never forget right before Roger and I were getting married, we had like computers set up in the living room. So the kids had their computers in there. And one of Kimberly’s uncles said, Hey, Kimberly, you know, we’re all working in here. Could you come

And her brother and her stepbrother were on either side of her. And so the uncle came back to me and said, Kim gave me a bunch of attitude about helping out. And I said, so why did you ask Kim? Because Kim came to me and said, why’d they ask me and not the boys? And I’m like, you know what? It is such a good question. And my daughter will point out all these like areas of misogyny

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (15:14.524)

Yes.

Kathi (15:15.562)

I just starting to uncover and I think housework is the number one place where we have been duped and you know, I mean, do you hear people saying daddy’s a little helper? No, it’s mommy’s little helper, right? Yes. And like we’re all helping mom. Aren’t we great? Because we’re helping mom. No, I, I mean, even if you’re a full time stay at home parent,

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (15:17.714)

Yes.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (15:32.094)

thousand percent. A thousand percent.

Right?

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (15:44.915)

Right.

Kathi (15:45.806)

which I don’t think either of us have been for a really long time. It’s not all up to us. And I love your unpacking of that. I love your chore wheel. How’d you do the chore wheel? How did you said you spin it? Like, I need to know this.

Amy Betters Midtvedt (15:47.782)

No. No. No.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (16:02.14)

you spin it. I put, we just put all, so you just buy them on Amazon and you put in each slice. has like a chore, a bad chore that like, so we all have our things we’re sort of responsible for. We kind of have divvied up like different things, who cleans what bathroom, all of that. There’s like the assumed chores. And then there’s just like the junk that like it, some of it’s vacuuming the whole house. Some of it’s like the fly lady stuff too, or like, you know, that kind of stuff. Like what are you, what do have to do? So I kind of tried to be really intentional.

Kathi (16:06.854)

okay.

Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Yes, yes. Right, right.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (16:29.586)

because otherwise I was also spending my day off vacuuming the whole house, dusting, dump stuff. Why am I doing that? So that’s all on there. And then you spin it and you go to your Troy. There’s also an inspector and an enforcer on the tour wheel. So there’s one person responsible and it’s not always whoever gets it gets it to inspect the work of each person. So like if I’m vacuuming and Sam is the inspector, he comes to make sure I got my vacuuming done correctly, correctly.

Kathi (16:33.326)

Yes. Yes.

Kathi (16:43.76)

To tell. Yeah.

Kathi (16:55.597)

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (16:58.364)

And then the enforcer is the person that makes sure no one’s like hiding in the bathroom during chore time or like doing getting distracted doing other things. So the enforcer, if I end up laying down and reading and I’m not vacuuming, the enforcer would come up to me and say, mom, it’s time for choice. You’ve got to do your vacuuming as if that would happen. But those were two key pieces that put them into the driver’s seat of this. Like it’s also not my job to make sure you do your job. And it’s not my job to make sure you do your job well, because that’s the other part that happens. Right? Like,

Kathi (17:06.522)

Nice.

Kathi (17:13.99)

my goodness.

Kathi (17:20.559)

Yeah

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (17:28.222)

I’m like, you didn’t actually finish cleaning the kitchen. You didn’t actually finish your laundry. That’s silly. So we put that on them and they love that. Those are, they love

Kathi (17:28.228)

Yes.

Kathi (17:38.79)

Okay, so here’s my question though, because you did not, as you birthed them, they did not come out knowing the chores. Was there a switch at some point? And how old were the kids when the switch happened? And how did you get the buy -in that you needed?

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (18:01.21)

I tried really hard. I don’t know how well I did this, but when they were little and wanted to help, I tried really hard to let them. And that’s really difficult, right? Because we are fast and we’re better and we don’t always want to take the time. where we could, especially I think I got better as I had more kids and like Sam used to love cleaning toilets when he was little, he would clean every toilet and we just let him, right? It’s great, whatever. He was the hero of all time for whatever reason, that was a fun job for him. It is no longer, but.

Kathi (18:06.203)

Yeah.

Mm -hmm. It is difficult. Yeah.

Kathi (18:24.012)

Sam, you’re my hero.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (18:29.918)

So leading into some of those moments. And then we had certain things like cleaning the kitchen has always been their job. It still seems shocking sometimes to them when I say it’s time to clean the kitchen, whatever. They’ve been doing it for years. But it’s fine. And we also have to let it go, right? It is how it is. However they do it, if they want to negotiate for 30 minutes about who is going to do what job, go with God, my friends. I don’t care. Just do it. letting them do it their way and really from an early age and

Kathi (18:51.6)

Yeah. Right.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (18:59.386)

easily by the time they were in middle school, they should be doing almost all the things. There’s really nothing by that age. know, I watched my middle schoolers at school. They’re really independent people. If they’re acting like they can’t, you know, wipe down a counter, they’re a hundred percent lying. I’m watching what they’re doing at school and they’re running the show there. So they can run the show really easily

Kathi (19:02.83)

Yes.

Kathi (19:09.038)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (19:15.6)

Yeah.

Kathi (19:19.204)

Yes. It’s so true, right? At school, they are so capable and they come home and it’s like, what? I don’t know how to squeeze this bottle. But I love what you’re saying here because statistics show our kids are not going to graduate from college and get their Mr. And Mrs. Like they’re going to go into community living situations. They’re going to have a few roommates.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (19:48.456)

Yes.

Kathi (19:48.536)

And I’ll never forget, my daughter went off to college, and I’ve told this story before, and she was teaching people on her college dorm floor how to do their laundry. And I was like, how did those parents not have kids doing laundry? I could barely keep up. If I had to do four people’s laundry on top of mine and Roger’s, it would be all over. And so what we’re doing is we’re

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (20:09.969)

Right.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (20:13.894)

Right? Right?

Kathi (20:17.846)

just making it so that our house is more livable. We’re making it so that our kids future homes are more livable. And we’re not but you know, we’re busting through that resistance to cleaning. If it’s just a part of your life, if it’s just like brushing your teeth or washing your face, or all of those kind of things. And I’ll have to I have to say I’ve had to overcome some resistance in my own

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (20:27.003)

Absolutely.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (20:38.098)

Right? Right?

Kathi (20:47.43)

Like I don’t know why I feel like somebody else like Sam should be cleaning my toilets, but I really deep down Believe that deeply that I should not have to do that But I have to do it Yeah, yes

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (20:53.02)

Right, thousand, I know. I know. I agree. I feel that way about my bathroom too, like the whole bathroom. I always look at it like I can’t believe this is still my

Kathi (21:07.566)

And you know, giving kids the tools to say, hey, the less clutter, the easier it is to clean.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (21:13.958)

That’s the biggest thing. And I will say my girls are finally learning that lesson as they move home, right? So they’re in a situation, my daughter did just say, she’s like, I’m going coming home. I’m like, well, I feel what’s going on. Why do you feel that way? She goes, it’s nothing you’re doing. I love being home. It’s my room. It’s so overwhelming. She said, I think it’s finally hit me that I’m not gonna have good mental health till I go through my stuff. I’m like, it’s true. You’re

Kathi (21:17.862)

yay.

Kathi (21:35.579)

It’s so true.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (21:35.838)

It’s so true. they are this weekend. It’s finally time. have to they have to they’re storing a lot of stuff because they’ll be out another year. They don’t want to sell everything, you know, so they got themselves they’re going have these on the storage unit. The two girls good for them. They’re paying for it and and really making some hard decisions about what belongs where and we did just have a bunch of water in our basement and had to get rid of a bunch of things. That’s why I’m not in my book room. My book room is yet to be put back together.

Kathi (21:42.434)

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Right.

Good for them.

Kathi (21:58.082)

I saw that.

because your book room is, okay. I’ll pray for you.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (22:05.2)

It’s going to be okay. Thank you. It’s going to be all the books from the bottom shelf and above are okay. Just so I only lost the bottom shelf. So I’m trying to focus on the good, but, that was eyeopening because my husband’s the one who went through our storage area and how it looks now. He’s like, Amy, there’s no excuse for some of this stuff that we had. He’s like, and I’m looking at more things. And he was right. It really helped us identify clutter and doing that as a community. My son’s room was hit.

Kathi (22:11.523)

Okay,

Kathi (22:29.498)

Yeah.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (22:32.072)

you know, a lot of the kids stuff was hit as we walked through that, that journey together as, let me tell you kids who can’t clean a kitchen, they’re darn good. When water comes in your basement, they were like an army. They were amazing. They, that’s when their true colors showed, like when the chips were down, I realized they had a lot of skills and they were really able to let go of a lot more things way more easily than I thought they were. And really that reminded us like, we even started talking about Christmas. Like, do we just want an experience this year? Look at all this stuff that we didn’t care about.

Kathi (22:40.71)

that’s so great. Yeah.

Kathi (22:59.344)

Yeah. Right.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (23:01.064)

do, do right? lot of it’s like Christmas presents that no one, let’s just really use our time more wisely. So being in that community together with those kids during that kind of a trauma really helped us realize what we need to let go. It’s really, it was really kind of an impactful

Kathi (23:14.904)

You know, I it’s we’re coming up on the well, we just celebrated the six year anniversary of moving out of our house in San Jose and moving up here. And one of the things that I said was the true test of love is not who comes home for Christmas. It’s who comes home to help you move. And right. And the true test of your kids is how are they in an emergency like

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (23:34.607)

Kathi (23:43.334)

because they have had all the training, And I mean, what an example of how, you know, building this family community. And we may not always like it, and it may not be kumbaya, and it may not be, you know, what you would put up on Instagram, but when you’ve got water in your basement, your kids rose to the occasion.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (23:46.172)

Yes!

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (23:53.949)

Yes.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (24:07.378)

they worked for days. They’re actually one of my daughter’s boyfriends drove down and just came to help. my, actually my son’s girlfriend was here. She stayed for, like she came back day after day. Like it was like, you’re right. It is a true testament to like that underlying community that we’re trying to build. Then it’s there. Like it holds in those hard times. That feels really, really.

Kathi (24:14.549)

my goodness.

Kathi (24:22.339)

Well.

Kathi (24:29.28)

Yes, yes.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (24:32.558)

good when I’m like looking at the kitchen and they didn’t clean. There’s like a part that’s called the L and no one ever wipes it down. And I always yell, nobody’s clean the L and the L is dirty again. Then I can remember how great they were in the crisis and remind them like you guys like pulled flooring out. You can come and wipe down the L it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.

Kathi (24:43.535)

Right!

Kathi (24:48.142)

Yeah, it’s so true. Okay, Amy, you know, we were talking a lot about clutter and home maintenance. But can we just say, when it comes to teenagers, that’s a lot of the stuff of this life, isn’t it? And so I love how practical you are. I love how grace filled you are. You’ll make it and they will too. What? Who is this book for? Tell me who this book is

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (25:04.614)

It is.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (25:16.228)

This book is for, first of all, any parent that has little kids that are about to become teens, that has teens, that’s launched kids. There’s a chunk of the book that is about that launch and that coming back. I would say anybody who’s walking alongside someone, a grandparent that has teens, especially because things are different. I have lot of conversations with my mom about that.

Kathi (25:23.307)

Hmm.

Kathi (25:29.061)

Yeah.

Kathi (25:32.58)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (25:38.578)

Like she will remind me, she’ll give me a good dose of perspective, but then she’s also trying to understand how different it is this generation. So I think it could be really an impactful book for grandparents, educators that are trying to understand the population that they’re working with and what is really making them tick in their homes. Cause they present one thing to us in school. I think it’s really important to see some of that other side. So I really wrote it for that parent that was sitting in the middle of the night, just outside their kid’s bedroom door thinking,

Kathi (25:50.584)

Mmm

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (26:07.3)

I am the only parent that is dealing with this, that my kid is the only kid that is a hot mess. And I wanted them to be able to grab this book and just open it and be like, my gosh, wait, this happened and they made it. Got it. I can do

Kathi (26:18.264)

Yeah, it’s so true. I think one of the biggest things we need during that time is hope and to not feel alone. Okay, guys, we’re going to give links to where you can find. You’ll make it and they will too, which is a big promise. But if anybody can deliver on that, it’s my friend Amy. Amy, thanks so much for being

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (26:24.072)

Absolutely.

Amy Betters-Midtvedt (26:35.658)

It’s a big promise. It’s holding. Yeah. Thank you so much for having

Kathi (26:43.326)

such a great conversation. And friend, thank you for being here. Whatever age and stage you’re in, your kids are in, there is hope, not just for you, but for your home as well. You’ve been listening to Clutter -Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the clutter -free life you’ve always wanted to live.

More Posts 

#654 Declutter Your Life: 100 Spaces, 15 Minutes Each

#654 Declutter Your Life: 100 Spaces, 15 Minutes Each

Hey there, friend! In this episode of Clutter-Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo help listeners kick off 2025 with a practical plan for a clutter-free home. Kathi shares her personal goal of decluttering 100 spaces in her house this year and how she’s breaking it...

#631 Holiday Headstart: 5 More Tips for a Relaxed Season

#631 Holiday Headstart: 5 More Tips for a Relaxed Season

631 Holiday Headstart: 5 More Tips for a Relaxed Season

Do you ever say you’ll start holiday prep early, but then suddenly it’s December and you’re in a tinsel-covered panic? Well, no more!

In this episode, Kathi and co-host Tonya Kubo dive into part two of their discussion on preparing for the holidays in August. They offer practical advice for early holiday planning. Kathi and Tonya emphasize the importance of considering family needs, budgeting, and self-care in the planning process.

Listeners will discover:

  • How to plan for those perfect holiday photos
  • How to plan for budget-friendly holiday travel
  • How to create a realistic holiday decor plan (even if your husband Roger thinks there’s no such thing as too many Christmas lights.)

Throughout the episode, Kathi and Tonya offer relatable anecdotes and practical strategies to help listeners reduce holiday stress by planning ahead.

Kathi shares her love for early holiday meal planning and cookbook perusing in this episode. She mentions one of her favorite recipes called Raclette. Check out Raclette photos in the banner as well as the recipe below!

 Raclette

3 to 7 oz. raclette cheese per person, sliced to fit the small trays under the raclette grill. (We find this at Trader Joe’s and at some of the fancier stores from around November through February, and we’ve even found it on Amazon.)

4 to 6 potatoes new potatoes per person, boiled with the skins on. (You have better things to do with your life than peel tiny potatoes.)

Optional Ingredients: Everything else is what you like or have on hand. That’s the beauty of this meal—you get to make it what you love. Here are some ideas: bacon, beef fillet, thickly sliced, pork sausage, zucchini, thickly sliced, mushrooms, grape tomatoes, white pearl onions, bell peppers, thickly sliced, cornichons or pickled gherkins (traditional dinners call for sweet pickles, but we only use dill), pickled baby corn, asparagus, crusty hearty bread, barbecue sauce or ketchup (I have found this to be a game changer)

Directions

1. Turn the raclette grill on to medium-high heat.

2. If you are using bacon, place the slices on the grill plate and cook to your liking.

3. Use the bacon fat to cook the other ingredients. (If you are not using bacon, simply brush the grill plate with some olive oil.)

4. Place some meat and vegetables on the hot grill plate. (When we have vegetarians or vegans visiting, we use two grills. You could even just use a tabletop skillet for the veggies and the raclette skillet for the cheese and meat.)

5. While the meat and vegetables are cooking on the grill plate, place slices of raclette cheese on the small trays and put them under the heating element.

6. Slice or smash the potatoes on your plate. Scrape the melted raclette cheese out of the tray and serve it over the warm potatoes. It is also common to place the melted cheese over the cooked vegetables. Some people even put slices of potatoes into the handled trays so that the cheese melts directly on top.

About eight people can use one raclette set at a time. This is a warm, hearty dinner that is a universal hit at our house and with our guests.

If you want to keep the whole meal on the tabletop, you can even use it to prepare dessert. Just clean off the grill and roast marshmallows over it to create tabletop s’mores. (Is there a better way to end a meal than with chocolate and marshmallows?)

Did you miss part one of this conversation? Click #630 Plan Now, Relax Later: 5 August Tips for a Peaceful Christmas 

Would you like to receive an early Christmas gift? Join the Clutter Free Facebook Group where they will provide you with a download of all 10 Planning Tips! Remember,. Remember, you can’t join the CFA Facebook Group without answering the membership questions. It’s how we keep it the kindest corner of the internet.

Click here to be notified when the next episode is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

 

Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Links Mentioned:

Clutter Free Resources:

What do you do in August that helps you make the holidays stress free?

Share in the comments!

Let’s stay connected

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  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
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Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Kathi Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more

And I am back with co -host of Clutterfree Academy. It is Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya!

Tonya Kubo (00:33.21)

Hey, Kathi!

Kathi (00:35.134)

I’m excited. Okay. You know, I was super excited last week about Our 10 tips for a stress -free holiday. We we got through five last week I’m finally getting smarter in my old age not trying to do 10 tips in one episode Like let’s break because then we have super size episodes and you have to go back. No, no, no We just we started we knew this was gonna be a two episode series, but we’re talking in August about

what to do to prepare for Christmas and Thanksgiving and all the holidays in the winter. And why are we doing that, Tonya? Why are we just that organized and type A and so on top of it?

Tonya Kubo (01:18.478)

No, but we wish we were. Actually, the reason we’re doing it is because we cluttery people need time to plan to plan, right? So when it comes in October, it is two months too late. We need time in August to make some decisions, sit with those decisions, recover from the effort of making the decisions so that then when push comes to shove, October, November, we’ve already know what we’re doing and then we just forge ahead.

Kathi (01:20.188)

We do.

Kathi (01:27.09)

Yes.

Kathi (01:47.354)

And that’s what we need. need some time, space, and we need to take care of our future selves because otherwise it all comes down to us. I know how these things

Tonya Kubo (01:57.82)

Right, and so because it all comes down to us, I am gonna jump us right in. If you didn’t catch the last episode, I just encourage you to go back and look at it. It should be pretty easy to find in the player that you’re listening to. Or head over into Clutterfree Academy, our free Facebook group, because we have a download with all 10 tips. It’s called 10 Decisions to Make in August for a Less Stressed Holiday. That’s waiting for you there right now. Kathi, just take it away

Tip number six.

Kathi (02:28.83)

Yeah, so we talked about are you gonna do Christmas cards or not? And both decisions are 100 % fine, friends. But if you are gonna do Christmas cards and you want a picture of your family, or if you just want a cute Christmas picture to put up on social media or to hang up in your house without sending Christmas cards, that’s allowed too. It actually is. And

Also, our vet, if we didn’t give them a picture of moose each year, there would be a revolt. So maybe they do that just to make us feel good, but I don’t care. It does make me feel good. So now is the time to make plans for that Christmas picture. Now, maybe plans are, hey, we took this great picture on our vacation. Let’s use that. That is a perfectly acceptable picture. Our Christmas card last year, somebody came to our house and took a great picture of moose.

holding one of her toys and she looks a little mischievous. And so we just, we knew that that was the perfect card. So, or maybe you want to get a professional set of pictures taken of you and your family. All of these are options in August. But as we get closer to November, our options get

And then we’re sending out for Christmas cards on December 1st. We get them back on the 15th. We don’t have time to send them out. And then we have 200 Christmas cards that we’re like, well, maybe next year. So now is the time to take the picture, okay? And we do have, what is your favorite tip for taking a great picture? Do you have one? I’ll tell you mine and then you can tell me yours. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (04:01.254)

Right.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (04:16.954)

Sure.

Kathi (04:18.578)

So I think the best pictures are where people feel comfortable. And so not so staged, not so posed. We just did a whole photo shoot here at the Red House. And Tenille, our photographer, kept telling us how great we looked. And if your photographer is not doing that, you need to find a new photographer. So also if you’re a parent, especially of a tween or teen,

and you just want to, you know, to be able to say, hey, you look great or have somebody else tell them they look great. That would be my go -to move. Okay, how about you, Tonya?

Tonya Kubo (04:54.108)

I was gonna say my tip is take 400 pictures because one of them is bound to look good. right? Because the more people you have, the harder it is to make sure everybody is looking at the camera at the same time with their eyes

Kathi (04:57.946)

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Kathi (05:10.096)

It’s so true. And I think the other thing to say on that is, boy, just wear something comfortable. The best pictures are where you’re wearing jeans and you feel great.

Tonya Kubo (05:16.144)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (05:19.824)

Yep, that is so true. All right, Kathi, go ahead and give us tip number seven.

Kathi (05:26.278)

Okay, it’s time to plan for Christmas travel. So if you’re gonna be flying cross country, if you need an Airbnb, you need hotel rooms, you need flights, now is the time to get that information nailed down. Can I tell you just the mistake we made recently? Roger and I were gonna do this big, big, big trip and we’re like, okay, we think we can save enough money for this. It’s gonna be tight.

Tonya Kubo (05:48.934)

Sure.

Kathi (05:56.038)

You know with the flights and the everything we’re doing, but I think we can do that so we we went ahead and booked we got the travel insurance and Then we looked at the flights Holy cow, Tonya. I had no idea how it’s an international flight. I had no idea I had no idea so We’ve made the hard decision to not go until we think we’re gonna do like in five years because we want more time

to gather our pennies together. So instead of our 20th anniversary, this will be a great 25th anniversary. We’re gonna do something fun and fabulous for 20 years. But start to get those numbers into your head now. Start to look for flights now. Maybe sign up for a flight tracker to see if the cost goes down. Get an idea of what hotels or Airbnbs are gonna cost in that area of the country or the world, whatever that is.

Tonya Kubo (06:27.578)

Right.

Kathi (06:55.568)

Start to nail some of that information down now so you’re not in a panic in November. Now, you don’t travel for holidays usually, do you? Okay, so for you, it’s just, should we clean out the car or not, right?

Tonya Kubo (07:04.567)

Not usually, no.

Tonya Kubo (07:11.072)

Yeah, well for me, so I have a couple of relatives that live in other states, right? So our big thing is, yes, should we clean out the car or not? The other thing that we have, if we’re road tripping, because that does happen sometimes, when the girls were younger, especially, it’s nap time. When are you going to leave, right? When do you leave the house? When do you plan to come back? You know, because ideally, if you’re doing the holiday thing, somebody else’s house, you don’t want your kids to lose their charm before you have a chance to get them into the

Kathi (07:21.872)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kathi (07:40.73)

Right, Yeah, that charm covers a multitude of sins. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, and this is a great point. You know, for us, we may be RVing this Thanksgiving. And so, like, it’s time to look at those RV spots. It’s time to look at packing, you know, road tripping. What kind of food are we going to bring? Because if you are planning to eat out every meal while you’re road tripping,

Tonya Kubo (07:45.914)

Yeah, yeah.

Kathi (08:09.32)

that’s gonna cost you as much as Christmas. maybe, you know, maybe make those plans now. And also, if it is now the time to discuss, do you want to stay with relatives or is that a terrible idea? We had to, you know, there were some relatives we would have loved to have stayed with them. There were other relatives for other reasons that it was very hard to stay with. So to start preparing people early for those decisions,

is really, really good and

Tonya Kubo (08:41.946)

Yes, yes. Okay. So what is tip number

Kathi (08:48.734)

Now is the time to ask for do you need time off from work? Do you need to make other arrangements? Do you need to offer yourself a sacrifice for Christmas so you can get Thanksgiving off? You know what so start to ask now because you’re starting to plan so early and you’re starting to connect with the people that you’re planning

you might be able to ask earlier than you’ve ever been able to ask before. And if you’re, especially if you’re working someplace like retail or you’re in a hotel or a restaurant situation, getting that time off request in as early as possible or to find out, no, I can’t take time off then. Those are all good things to know. And the earlier you can get that request in,

more likely you are able to do it. This is why I also really suggest if you have any possibility of celebrating on a day other than Christmas or other than Thanksgiving, boy, it alleviates a lot of stress for a lot of people. I know that it’s nice to have that Friday off between Thanksgiving and the weekend, but also the cost of traveling.

Tonya Kubo (09:53.19)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:06.085)

That week is extraordinary. The cost, could you take a different set of days off and make it easier on

Tonya Kubo (10:15.644)

Mm -hmm. Excellent tips, excellent tips. And especially, you what’s nice is if you’ve got people who work retail, there’s blackout dates already set, right? So that helps you plan accordingly. I love that. So we need to take a quick break, because as you like to remind me, Kathi, we like to keep the lights on around here, right? So we will be back with tips nine and 10 after our commercial

Kathi (10:24.379)

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Kathi (10:34.792)

Pay the bills.

Kathi (10:45.456)

Okay, we are back and we are diving right back into our tips. Tonya, I’m just gonna go into nine. This is especially important for the lip household.

Tonya Kubo (10:57.39)

Right, it is not important for the Kubo household. So you go for it, Kathi. Yeah.

Kathi (11:00.424)

You know what, see this is good to know, right? This is good information to know. A holiday decor plan. you know, like Tonya’s like, well that’s easy, no.

And that’s okay. And I think, you know what, if I wasn’t married to Mr. Christmas, that might be my plan too. I might have just a cute little tree off in the corner or something like that. Our first Christmas together, we decided to not celebrate on Christmas because we knew that, we had had a wedding that year and we thought, well, the kids will wanna be with their other parents and that’s fine. So what we did is we bought a two foot,

Christmas tree and we did a road trip to a bunch of different B &Bs and we took that Christmas tree to each B &B and it was perfect. But Roger likes some lighting. He likes to dec… Yes, he likes to decorate the yard. Now since we get free Christmas trees because they’re all in our backyard, we set up three Christmas trees often in our household. And so

Tonya Kubo (11:45.456)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (11:52.024)

how fun.

Tonya Kubo (11:58.779)

He does.

Tonya Kubo (12:07.099)

Yeah.

Kathi (12:13.938)

For me, it’s very important that we go in having a budget because every year, Tanya, every single year, I think, well, surely we have enough lights. We must have enough lights. His last name is Griswold. I don’t understand it. But yes, every year we go by the lights. So one thing I’m going to insist on this year, insist on is

Tonya Kubo (12:25.04)

You’d never have enough lights for Mr. Lip.

Tonya Kubo (12:39.515)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:43.376)

Mr. Lip, we need an inventory of what we have because what often happens is, that might be in the attic or it might be in the storage shed, but I’m not sure. So while we’re here at Home Depot, Lowe’s, Ace Hardware, we might as well get XYZ. No, no. Well, okay, if he really wants to, we will, but.

Tonya Kubo (12:48.42)

yeah.

Tonya Kubo (13:05.04)

Mm -hmm.

No. Yes. I was gonna say yes.

Kathi (13:13.266)

But could we find that information out in August? Or let’s be kind to ourselves even September when it’s not blazing hot in the attic. Could we put a plan together so that we actually know what we have? Do you wanna change up the theme? So in our bedroom, we put up a Christmas tree that’s very Woodland themed. In Roger’s office, we put up a tree that’s very Disney themed.

and then downstairs it’s bright and shiny things. So we know, do we want to change any of that? And then what do we need to do with DIY project? Is there something that we’d like to do? Let’s budget for it now, let’s go in with a plan so we’re not doing last minute things. And I think this is a good, I’m gonna put cooking under this as well. Now it’s harder to plan for cooking four months in advance, but.

Tonya Kubo (13:48.474)

Yeah.

Kathi (14:10.8)

If you’re gonna be trying a bunch of new recipes, does that require a new KitchenAid? Does that require a new thingamajig? What are we doing? Or maybe, for us, we often wanna smoke a turkey. We need to make sure that the barbecue that we’re using, or the Traeger, or whatever we’re doing, is in proper working order if we haven’t been using it.

Tonya Kubo (14:25.285)

Kathi (14:35.698)

Because I cannot tell you the number of times we’ve gone to use the thing and we haven’t used it for nine months and the thing maybe had some friends living in it. Let’s check that out. Let’s not be surprised. How about that? Let’s not be surprised.

Tonya Kubo (14:53.341)

That’s a surprise you never want, but it’s so much better to have it in August than it is to have it like the week before you plan to use

Kathi (14:57.956)

Right? Right, especially if you’re snowed in. Now you have to dig your way. Yeah, there’s just a million reasons to check early

Tonya Kubo (15:07.14)

I was like, hear the emotional scarring from your past experiences, Kathi.

Kathi (15:09.679)

my goodness. Yeah, ask me how I know, friends. Ask me how I know. No, actually don’t ask me, trauma. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (15:13.722)

Ahahaha!

Tonya Kubo (15:17.36)

No. All right, Kathi, give us tip number

Kathi (15:21.15)

Okay, this may be the most important one, the most important one. really, one through nine is leading up to 10. And this is just, it’s gonna sound very new agey, self -care and boundaries, self -care and boundaries. Think back with your spouse, your kids, your parents. Was last year’s Christmas just a little too long?

Tonya Kubo (15:36.678)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (15:50.492)

Were there a few too many people? Were there a few too many dishes that were required to be made? I really believe in saying, know, one thing I’ve learned, I used to think, it’s less stress for me to make all the food because I have control over when things are happening in my kitchen. No, that was just me being a little bit of a control

It’s so much better to say, you know what, you’re really good. Like my sister -in -law, this is an underrated talent. She makes the best salads in the world. I don’t know anybody who makes a better salad than Lucinda Richardson. I don’t know anybody. So let Lucinda bring the salad. Beg her to bring the salad. Let people contribute. If people are saying,

Hey, Kathi, I would love for you to do your Raclette. I’d say, yes, that would be great. Would you bring the Raclette cheese? Yes, I’d be happy to do that. But you know what? I have a lot of people who live closer to Whole Foods than I do. And that’s a Whole Foods item. To be able to say, you know what? This year, we’re not going to be able to go to three different family events in a short amount of time. You were talking about this with your kids.

You know, do we need to be aware of nap time and travel time? And thinking, you know, as adults, sometimes we can, but we shouldn’t suck it up. But kids, they’re not known for their suck it up abilities, right? So to be able to say, you know what, our first day, and we’ve done this when we travel now, our first day, hey, our whole job is just to get there and then go to the hotel and order some food.

Tonya Kubo (17:22.854)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (17:26.897)

right?

Kathi (17:41.914)

and not be on for anybody. And that’s a beautiful thing. And that’s what I think we need to say, you know what, I’m gonna be better on Thursday, Friday and Saturday if it went on Wednesday. It’s just me and the people I love because we can figure it out. We can sleep in, we can do what we need to do. But to just say

Do we say no to overwhelming commitments? And one way for me to do that, and I would love to hear any tips you have, Tonya, because you guys are really good at boundaries, is we just got an invitation today to one of our favorite humans’ 30th birthdays. The 30 -year -old is inviting us to their birthday and we’re not related to them. I feel highly honored. But instead of saying, of course we’ll be there, I said, let me check with Roger. Because I just need to know.

What’s gonna make him most comfortable? What’s gonna be the best thing? It sounds precious of us, but also sometimes I forget, oh wait, we’ve got a big deadline the day before. So it just says, hey, let me check the calendar and let me check with my significant other and we’ll get back to you. And if I get back within 24 hours, no harm, no foul. So what’s a good way for you that you have set boundaries around the holidays?

Tonya Kubo (18:40.678)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (18:53.046)

Right.

Tonya Kubo (18:58.702)

Yeah, so it’s interesting having kids who are growing up, right? Because what I discovered the hard way is, you know, they have school events, if they have extracurricular activities, oftentimes there’s holiday events associated with that. Like, Brian and I do not have the luxury of complete control over our calendars, even outside of work. And so for us,

A lot of it has to do with if it involves school. ask like as soon as back to school night is, which is late August, I will be asking, do you have a calendar of all events for the fall? Do you have a calendar for the whole academic year? You know, we’re recording this and it’s not quite August yet because that’s how you get August episodes, folks, if you record them before August. And I just found out

Kathi (19:37.98)

Yeah

Kathi (19:46.727)

Right?

Tonya Kubo (19:51.064)

there’s a mandatory commitment for Lily that runs for the next eight days. And by the way, we’re out of town, right? Yeah, exactly. And so I am learning now, okay, so I need to set some boundaries and say, we’re a family that has to plan ahead and we are more than happy to show up to mandatory events. However, you’re gonna need to get us those dates right now. And so again, just to kind of like tie that up in a bow, what I would say is for the school stuff, I ask for the calendars.

Kathi (19:56.263)

What?

Tonya Kubo (20:19.642)

Like early, I ask often. And then when it comes to the personal commitments, I pretty much just tell folks, know, let me check my calendar. And if I can make it, say, I’m gonna make every attempt to be there. However, you know that schools are really good about spring and last minute stuff on you. So if I have to shift it, I’ll let you know. And then I leave it at

Kathi (20:40.988)

Yeah, yeah, it’s really smart because yeah, there are so many competing priorities and whoever made that mandatory last minute commitment, unless they’re paying you, no, that’s crazy, that’s just crazy. I love these and I think that our community is gonna have some really great ideas about what to do in August to make things easier.

Tonya, know one of the things I like, and here’s one of my little gifts to myself in August, is that I’m a cookbook peruser. I like to dive into a good cookbook and I’m gonna start planning my meals for the holidays early in August because that’s something I enjoy. That’s not something everybody enjoys, but I do. So I’m gonna have my little stack and I’m going to spend some time perusing.

Tonya Kubo (21:19.11)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (21:31.097)

Right.

Kathi (21:37.392)

and just bring some delight and it’s gonna make me look forward to the holidays more because I, yeah, I’m excited about that. This is, yeah, and like I said, our Facebook group is gonna have so many great ideas because they’ve all done this. They bought the t -shirts for sure.

Tonya Kubo (21:46.181)

I love that.

Tonya Kubo (21:56.348)

That is true. And as a reminder about the Facebook group, if you’re not in there, you want to be in there because we’re going to put a download with all tips this episode and last episode. It’s going to be called 10 Decisions to Make in August for a Less Stressed Holiday. And Kathi is so good about reminding you this. If you are requesting to join the group, please answer the questions. If you don’t answer the questions, we don’t let you in. We want that community to be as kind as possible. All right, Kathi, anything else you want to add?

Kathi (22:16.627)

Yes.

Kathi (22:26.392)

No, I just want to say thank you for listening. Tonya, thank you for leading us so well. And friends, thank you for being here. You’ve been listening to Clutter -Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the Clutter -Free life you were always designed to live.

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#654 Declutter Your Life: 100 Spaces, 15 Minutes Each

#654 Declutter Your Life: 100 Spaces, 15 Minutes Each

Hey there, friend! In this episode of Clutter-Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo help listeners kick off 2025 with a practical plan for a clutter-free home. Kathi shares her personal goal of decluttering 100 spaces in her house this year and how she’s breaking it...

#630 Plan Now, Relax Later: 5 August Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

#630 Plan Now, Relax Later: 5 August Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

630 Plan Now, Relax Later: 5 August Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

Do you feel stressed out during the holidays? Trust us, your future self will thank you for listening to this episode.

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and co-host Tonya Kubo discuss the importance of making key decisions in August to ensure a less stressful holiday season. Kathi and Tonya emphasize the benefits of early planning, such as reduced stress, better financial management, and more time to enjoy the holiday season. They share personal anecdotes and practical advice, making the episode both relatable and actionable for listeners.

Listeners will discover:

  • How to decide on holiday gathering dates, locations, and participants early to avoid last-minute conflicts.
  • How to plan gift exchanges, considering family dynamics and financial situations.
  • How to set a realistic holiday budget, including categories like gifts, food, and decorations.

So grab a cool drink, find a comfy spot, and listen in on how to get started on making this Christmas your most organized and enjoyable one yet!

Would you like to receive an early Christmas gift? Join the Clutter Free Facebook Group where they will provide you with a download of all 10 Planning Tips! Remember, you can’t join the CFA Facebook Group without answering the membership questions. It’s how we keep it the kindest corner of the internet.

Click here to be notified when part 2 of this episode is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

 

Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Links Mentioned:

www.Tonyakubo.com

Join the Clutter Free Academy Facebook Group and remember to answer the Membership Questions when prompted.

 

 

 

Clutter Free Resources:

What are some of your creative ways to approach gift exchanges with extended family?

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Kathi (00:01.084)

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And I am here with the co -hostess with the mostest, it is Tonya Kubo. Hey Tonya.

Tonya Kubo (00:47.113)

Yay!

Tonya Kubo (01:08.736)

Hey, Kathy.

Kathi (01:10.444)

I’m excited about today’s episode. feel like as we’re planning ahead, nothing makes me feel like so smart as planning ahead, as pre -deciding, as getting decisions out of the way so that August Kathi is a hero in November Kathi’s eyes. And that’s what we’re gonna do for each of our listeners today. So I’m gonna turn it over to you because my excitement is gonna spill out so much. not even.

Let’s just admit it, I had trouble doing the intro today. I was so excited about this.

Tonya Kubo (01:43.165)

I was just saying, you’re so excited that you have 400 words trying to come out of your mouth at the same

Kathi (01:48.873)

All at the same time, but let’s let’s dive in. Let’s do

Tonya Kubo (01:52.954)

Okay, so what we’re actually talking about is Christmas. And if you are like me, I was gonna say, if you’re grinchy like I am, you’re like, seriously, what is this? But here is something that I know from several years of leading Clutterfree Academy and our Clutterfree for Life membership program, Kathy, and that is that we cluttery people have a true biological need

Kathi (01:58.737)

Yes! Yay! In August!

Tonya Kubo (02:22.22)

to plan to plan. See, Christmas planning in October is about two months too late for most of us.

Kathi (02:29.754)

It really is for us cluttering friends, yes.

Tonya Kubo (02:33.346)

So what we are going to do is this is a two part episode, I believe, and we are going to be it has to be because because I wrote out 10 tips and you wrote out 10 tips and that’s 20 and we’re only going to give you 10 folks. We’re only going to give you 10. So can we just get started, Kathi? I want you to jump right in with what is your first tip when it comes to making a decision in August to have a stress free

Kathi (02:37.892)

Yes, it has to

Kathi (02:42.49)

Yeah

Kathi (02:46.606)

Right.

Kathi (02:57.112)

Okay, so this may sound so basic and for some of you, this is just gonna be a check mark because you’re gonna say, I host Christmas every year on the 24th and 25th and how awesome to have a life that is that perfectly ordered. But for many of us, that is not our reality because we have in -laws, out -laws, blended families, divorced families, all of that kind of thing. So I would implore

to nail down what you’re celebrating, when you’re celebrating, and where you’re celebrating. So for us, we often don’t celebrate Thanksgiving just because we have four kids, some of them work retail, some of them, you know, they all have these schedules where it’s really hard for them to get away from work. And so we just say, you know what, stay with your families in the Bay Area and we’ll do something fun later

So we don’t really worry about Thanksgiving so much, but sometimes we’ll have friends or other family over and that’s great. But Christmas, Christmas needs to be decided. It’s great if it’s decided a year in advance. We often have everybody show up with their little phones and figure out dates. But if we can’t decide a year in advance, August is when you should be doing that. Because if you

If you have other adults coming to your house or you’re going to theirs, I think four months is a really good timeframe to start nailing all that down. makes a lot of sense. And we have one of our kids who’s like, I can’t plan that far in advance. I’m like, well, if you get a better offer, you go for it. But the rest of us, we need to know. So, you know, he’s never planned an adult family function in his life. So it’s okay.

Tonya Kubo (04:32.928)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (04:51.667)

Right, right well then

Kathi (04:52.452)

So what do you guys

Tonya Kubo (04:55.328)

Well, so we actually are the, how do I put this? Like we can’t, we have a core member of the family that will not be able to tell us when they can celebrate Christmas until sometime around December 15th and they are typically the host. So yeah, so we spent several years not spending Christmas or any holiday with family. We did friend.

Kathi (05:08.367)

Yes.

Kathi (05:13.596)

wow!

Tonya Kubo (05:22.486)

We had some friends and we would just spend holidays with them because they had a similar lifestyle to us. They needed to plan several months in advance. And so we would just book it out. But then as the kids get older, right, it’s harder to like explain why we’re not spending Christmas and Thanksgiving with aunts and uncles and grandparents and all of that stuff. So we try to be fluid, but to some degree there’s like, I can only be so fluid, right?

Kathi (05:49.742)

Right, right. Yeah, and I think that that’s okay to say this is what I’m able to do. So what I do in August, if I haven’t done it already, is say, here is the date range of when you can come hang out with us, and here’s the one day that if you can make it work great. If you can’t, let us know now. But if I don’t hear from you in the next few days, I’m going forward, no turning back.

to get that planted so other people can make their plans, so they can do their shop, so they can do all of that kind of stuff. They can figure out their New Year’s plans. Like we’re celebrating as a family the day after Christmas through the next couple of days. you’ve heard me give this advice a thousand times. You can have everybody celebrate together. You can celebrate on the actual date.

you can have people be happy about it. Pick two out of three. And my preference is to have us all together and people to be happy about it. I don’t care if it’s happening on the actual date, but if you can get that nailed down as soon as possible, I think that that is a really smart thing to

Tonya Kubo (06:58.892)

Mm -hmm. Right.

Tonya Kubo (07:09.082)

Awesome. Okay. So that is really good advice. You covered both the importance of ahead, but also how to handle it when it’s sticky, which is something I appreciate because of course, just because you have a need to plan ahead doesn’t mean everybody else has a need. What would be your second

Kathi (07:24.066)

Right. Okay, so while you’re getting together the date and the time and where, know, whose house it’s going to be at, I think it’s all really great to have that conversation about gift exchange. You know, maybe you guys already have a family or friends tradition that is, but also we had kids who were growing into adults and wanted to set the expectation

Tonya Kubo (07:50.348)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (07:53.852)

Early that hey, we don’t need 75 gifts from anybody, but also maybe as you guys get older We don’t need to give you 75 gifts So we’re pretty much at the place where we do three gifts for everybody except we have one teenager in our family And I’m like no we’re gonna buy her the things that she wants and so to just set that expectation also to set expectation with young adults about You know you do get your grandmother a gift

Come on, be a good human being. Like they, you know, they don’t know sometimes because they’ve always had mom and dad take care of it. And so is there, do you need to pull back on some of that? Maybe because somebody in the family is having some financial constraints. You know, what taking the temperature in August is better than announcing in December what you’re going to do. So do you have like

Tonya Kubo (08:23.82)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (08:48.609)

right.

Kathi (08:50.256)

family code when it comes to gift exchange or is it a free for

Tonya Kubo (08:54.723)

Well, so it’s been a free for all for years and this last year the extended family one of the cousins reached out and was just like it’s ridiculous. I do not want to carry all that stuff home ever again. And so they do a trellis. do a bowling day. In lieu of a gift. So everybody goes and bowls for half a day and then they go to somebody’s house and has dinner.

Kathi (09:07.567)

Yeah.

Kathi (09:11.92)

Mmm. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (09:19.49)

And that’s what they do. And the kids love it. It’s so much better than going home with 32 different bags that they can’t remember who gave them what. It’s just so much more

Kathi (09:30.106)

Yeah, you know, Tonya, you and I both have given birth to children who like to open gifts like that. That’s a big part of what they like. And I don’t want to take that away from them. But to be able to do an experience like that, I think that that is tremendous. And especially if that’s like a cool cousin or aunt or uncle, like, you know, then the kid that’s you’re forming core memories there. That is so, so, so

Tonya Kubo (09:36.096)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (09:54.995)

Right. And of course, I mean, they still get Christmas gifts here. They still get presents at our house, right? It’s just not having that overwhelming

Kathi (09:59.364)

Yes. Yes.

Yes. I love it. I also think this is a good idea to start kind of putting in your mind when people ask you what you would like for Christmas to start coming up with that list, start making decisions and keeping track. If you’re the parent, maybe keeping track of some of the things that your kids have mentioned and to keep that as a curated list. So grandparents, know, aunts, uncles. And then also, I also like to just keep track of where

Tonya Kubo (10:12.098)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:32.74)

be a good gift card for that person. If I’m not coming up with anything specific, what can we do to make them feel just loved and appreciated? Tonya, I think we need to take a quick little break. We need to go pay some bills. We’re going to come back and we’re going to go with number three of our five decisions to make in August to have a less stressed holiday.

Tonya Kubo (10:45.73)

Okay.

Tonya Kubo (10:58.954)

All right, so we are back and Cathy, let’s just jump right into number

Kathi (11:04.718)

Yes. Okay. I think this is a great time for you to have a discussion with your spouse, your partner, your kids, your parents, whomever it is about the holiday budget. this money, money. People would rather talk about money than let’s just say for little ears who are listening, more intimate subjects that I consider more intimate subjects, but, they would rather talk about those more intimate subjects than money.

because money has so much dynamic that’s attached to it. But I think the further out you are from the holiday and gift buying, the easier it is to have those conversations. So have those conversations in August instead of October. And you will take a lot of stress off of people. I, you know, Roger and I will have a budget that includes

Tonya Kubo (11:47.33)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:03.66)

a couple of different categories like gifts, entertaining. Entertaining makes it sound fancy. Let’s just say food, okay? One of the core budget items you need to have if you’re married to Roger Lipp is lighting. We have to have a lighting budget each year. So creating those realistic budgets. And one of the things that I wanna talk to Roger about

Tonya Kubo (12:11.511)

Yeah.

Kathi (12:32.728)

August is to start doing kind of like a Christmas club thing Do you remember clip Christmas clubs from like the seven sixty seventies and they well you weren’t around for some of those decades, but Yeah, okay, so I grew up in a time where you could at your bank open a Christmas club account and Okay, okay you do okay, so tell me about that,

Tonya Kubo (12:43.754)

I was gonna say, no.

Tonya Kubo (12:52.885)

yeah, we have

Yeah, we do that. Yeah. So it’s just, it’s a direct deposit every month and it goes into an account and I have mine set up. the regular Christmas club, it dumps the money automatically into your account like Thanksgiving week. And then it’s everything that you’ve saved up for the last year gets dumped into your account Thanksgiving week. And then that’s your money to go Christmas shopping or do whatever. And ours has, you can do Christmas club and you can

vacation club, which your money gets dumped in the summertime. I don’t like the automatic dumping because sometimes I lose track of it, right? Or, you know, Brian goes, woo, windfall. And there went my Christmas budget. So I haven’t set up to where I manually move the money

Kathi (13:30.214)

Cool.

Kathi (13:36.56)

Mm -hmm.

Right

Kathi (13:47.106)

I like the manually moving because you can start to determine, you know, where are we going to put this? What categories are we going to put this into? I love that. Yeah. So I want to, that’s what I want to do next year is to this August say, okay, let’s start setting up, you know, let’s, let’s start in January of next year, start putting some money aside. I, know, Roger gets a bonus most years and that’s usually

Tonya Kubo (13:49.44)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:16.252)

Christmas comes out of. We don’t know that that’s happening this year. So we’re going to need to, you know, do some creative financing, but that’s okay. And I think it’s good to have a realistic budget. Not like I know that we spent $2 ,000 last year, but we need to keep it to 1000 this year. Like, is that really going to work for you? Or what major thing are you going to take out? Roger and I have decided this year not to do Christmas gifts for each other because

Tonya Kubo (14:29.036)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:43.962)

We want to take a trip next year, things like that. think that that is, you know, having those conversations now so you’re not disappointed when the time comes.

Tonya Kubo (14:53.876)

Right, and I’ll just add another one for families. I have several friends that they actually theme their Christmases, and so they alternate. So there’s an electronics Christmas, and then the next year is a reading Christmas. And they only do so many gifts per child, but so that they know they need a little bit more set aside for electronics Christmas, but they spend a lot less on reading Christmas. And so that helps them balance it

Kathi (14:56.302)

Yeah.

Kathi (15:04.467)

Kathi (15:08.562)

okay.

Kathi (15:12.582)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (15:23.55)

on a two year cycle. I love that idea. So I just feel the need to share that with everybody.

Kathi (15:25.24)

Mm, I love that. Yeah. I think that’s so great. Yes. We did, we, when my kids were growing up, we did more of like, okay, there was a reading gift, there were clothes gifts, and then there was that fun gift, which often had a plug. So yes, I think that that, I think having a theme helps you narrow your decisions and helps you pre -decide, which is what this, this whole episode is about. It’s pre

Tonya Kubo (15:37.782)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (15:52.566)

Right. Well, like you said earlier on, right? It’s about making sure that November you likes August version of you and isn’t like cursing the name of August version of you. So Kathi, we are at tip number four. Do you need me to recap? Cause you may have lost track. Okay.

Kathi (16:01.329)

Yes.

Right, absolutely.

Kathi (16:11.036)

No, I’m good. Number four is your Christmas card list. So here’s what I mean by that. Figure out how many Christmas cards you’re gonna send. So the first decision is, are you sending Christmas cards? And go for

Tonya Kubo (16:28.692)

And Kathy Lipp, can I say something right now? That is the best thing ever. That I read your Christmas project planner after my mom had died. And the year that my mom died, when I read that, that gave me permission not to send Christmas cards that year. And I needed that relief so much.

Kathi (16:46.62)

I’m so glad.

Kathi (16:51.45)

Yeah, you know what and here’s the Brilliant thing. It’s not a binary decision It’s not we are a christmas card family or we’re not a christmas card family We’re like an every other year christmas card family now We did send them last year and my plan is to send them this year because if you listen, you know a big thing that’s going on our life on in our lives

Moose has cancer and this is probably her last Christmas with us and I’m not crying and so I want to have a great picture with me and Roger and Moose for our Christmas card and so I’m probably gonna send them this year and even on the years I don’t send them I love receiving them so I’m honored if I’m on your Christmas card list but I also understand the years where I don’t hear from you for a couple of years because life got in the

Tonya Kubo (17:18.028)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (17:45.518)

So I think it’s really a great idea in August because can we just say in December trying to send Christmas cards out, like Christmas is a part -time job.

Tonya Kubo (17:57.983)

It is.

Kathi (17:59.469)

And do we really need administrative tasks in December? No, no. So if you can, just get the list together. We’re talk about the cards and everything like that. But just decide if you’re gonna send them and be okay with not sending them. The other thing you can do, okay, Tonya, I will also say this. If you have some people in your family or like aunts or uncles or grandparents,

Tonya Kubo (18:04.266)

No, no, we do

Kathi (18:29.244)

like they live for the Christmas card, you can also buy a pack of like 10 Christmas cards and just send five of them and it’ll be okay. So you sent Christmas cards to these five people who it really means something to and that’s okay. Yes. I do believe that you will not be arrested. Yes, I do believe.

Tonya Kubo (18:41.372)

What?

Tonya Kubo (18:48.047)

I don’t know. Are you sure? Are you

Tonya Kubo (18:54.3)

okay. That reminds me of Abby. Abby will say, is that legal? Yes, yes, there is no law against not sending Christmas cards or only sending part

Kathi (18:58.926)

Right? Right. Yes, it

Tonya Kubo (00:20.329)

All right, Kathy. So I think we are ready for tip number

Kathi (00:25.942)

Okay, so this is like we’re thinking ahead about the Christmas card list. I also want you to think about the Christmas gift list. Like who are you actually giving gifts to this year? And are there people that maybe it’s time to have a discussion, hey, you know, we keep exchanging Amazon gift cards every year. What if we just went to dinner?

Or what if, you know, like I would rather spend time with you than to feel that obligation. And because I love you, don’t need a gift from you to be, now there are people in our lives we wanna do gifts for, our kids, maybe our parents, brothers, whatever. But get realistic about your Christmas card list. Do you have teachers from your kid’s school that you need to give to? Are there, you know,

Tonya Kubo (01:03.873)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (01:24.)

I also, I’ll put in this and in the Christmas budget some big tips that I give. Like we have a house cleaner that comes, you know, a couple of times a month. That I want to give a big tip to them. We have somebody who comes and helps with chopping down trees and things like that here on the property. We’re going to give them a big tip. Maybe it’s your hairdresser, maybe it’s your nail person. Like I give a big tip to the people who are loyal to me all year and who fit me in.

Tonya Kubo (01:38.135)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (01:53.614)

when it’s inconvenient. Because I want to stay on the nice list, not the naughty list. So do you need to have some hard conversations or maybe not hard conversations? Maybe you’re giving some freedom to people, but there’s advantages to early gift planning. Could you stock up on some things early on? Like I think about this, we’re big believers in stockings. We

Tonya Kubo (01:55.52)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (01:59.515)

Right. Exactly.

Tonya Kubo (02:12.884)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (02:22.135)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (02:22.724)

We like to do stockings for everybody in the family and we do stockings for every animal in the family. And so if I can buy those things, and we’ve got bunnies, we didn’t do them for all the chickens, but we do them for the dogs. Yeah, the quad pets, those are the ones that we’re doing it for. So I wanna get those things not in December. Let’s get those things early and so it’s not impacting us quite so much.

Tonya Kubo (02:35.703)

can understand that.

Kathi (02:50.36)

and I can start wrapping early and things like that. this is also a good time to keep track, to keep a list because it’s easy to forget what you’ve bought when you have a lot of kids and maybe they have their partners and they have their kids and all that kind of stuff. So starting a list either in your phone or an Excel spreadsheet or however you do it. Do you have any ideas for a Christmas gift?

creating the list.

Tonya Kubo (03:18.761)

Yes. Yeah, we all have a Google Doc and we just use the Google Doc all year long. And then when holidays come up, we know what to lean into. And, you know, we’ll have the girls prioritize like a little bit before the holiday. So we have a sense. But it’s really, really nice, especially when they’re younger, to just let them have a place where they can dream and then bring them back down to reality when it comes closer to the day.

Kathi (03:23.114)

okay.

Kathi (03:43.694)

Yeah. She’s speaking from experience because as we’ve recorded this, Sunday was a grand birthday in the Kubo home and there was a lot of dreaming and a lot of bringing back down to earth. But you know what? That’s what we do as parents. We give them wings and then we help them land safely.

Tonya Kubo (03:54.077)

Yes, it was a grand birthday.

Tonya Kubo (03:59.755)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (04:05.549)

Yes. Okay. So Kathy, we have our five tips. I just want to recap them really quick for everybody. So these are our five August decisions for stress -free holiday. And this is part one. We’ve got five more coming up, don’t we? So the first decision is when and where will you have your holiday gatherings? The second is planning those gift exchanges.

Kathi (04:13.583)

Yeah.

Kathi (04:20.248)

Yes. That’s right, baby.

Tonya Kubo (04:34.391)

Who are we buying gifts for? Who’s buying gifts for us? What do we want to do? A little bit of spoiler alert if you’re just catching us. You know what? Do an experience. It’s just easier on everybody. Number three is set your holiday budget early. The further away that you are from the holiday, the less emotional it is. And I loved your tip, Cathy, about the Christmas club, right? Having a savings account that just manages the Christmas budget for you so you don’t have to stress about it.

Kathi (04:44.803)

It is easier.

Tonya Kubo (05:03.853)

Tip number four was your Christmas card list. Start that now, get the addresses now. Don’t do admin tasks a couple of weeks before Christmas. And then finally, along with don’t do admin tasks two weeks before Christmas is let’s get your Christmas gift list going. Now, if you are like me, Kathy, if our listeners are like me, it is hard to keep track of these things. Right now in August, this sounds brilliant, but I’m probably listening to this show on the way to somewhere else. So I cannot write these tips down.

So here’s what I think we should do. I think we should gather together all tips after our next episode and we should have a download for folks that they can find inside Clutterfree Academy, which is our free Facebook group open to all of our listeners and a few of their friends so long as they’re nice. And we will just so that everybody knows what to look for. It’s gonna be called 10 decisions to make in August for a less stressed holiday.

and you’ll find that inside our Clutterfree Academy Facebook group. And the link of that is gonna be in the show notes. Anything you wanna add, Cathy?

Kathi (06:08.336)

Yeah, if you’re saying, I’m gonna go be a part of that group, just know you have to answer a couple of questions before we let you in there. Lots of people apply and they skip over the questions, but we wanna keep that the kindest corner of the internet, and so we’re gonna make you answer the questions. So you have to read the rules, but come in there, you’re gonna find 15 ,000 of your new best friends, and you’re gonna all get clutter free together. Tonya, thank you so much for hosting us today.

Tonya Kubo (06:24.375)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (06:37.675)

I am so happy to have been doing this. Thank you for having me, Kathy.

Kathi (06:41.84)

Friends join us next week for those other five tips because they really are going to make a difference You know we are going to take care of our future selves and the first way we’re going to do that is to get over the holiday hump with a lot of love a lot of fun and some cocoa, so I’m Kathy lip with Tonya Kubo.

Thank you for joining us. You’ve been listening to Clutterfree Academy. Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

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Hey there, friend! In this episode of Clutter-Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and Tonya Kubo help listeners kick off 2025 with a practical plan for a clutter-free home. Kathi shares her personal goal of decluttering 100 spaces in her house this year and how she’s breaking it...

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Hey there, friends! Have you ever wondered how to balance your love for vintage items with a desire for a clutter-free home?

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp welcomes designer Hillary Prall for part 2 of their insightful discussion on balancing vintage design with clutter-free living. Hillary, who is both a vintage enthusiast and the daughter of a hoarder, shares her personal journey of clearing out her mother’s estate while maintaining her love for antique and vintage items. The conversation delves into the emotional and practical challenges of dealing with a hoarder’s legacy.

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Did you miss part 1 of this insightful conversation? Listen to 628 How to Curate Your Life: The Way to Love Things Without Drowning in Them here.

Click here to subscribe to this podcast and never miss another episode.

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Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

What are some creative ways you display vintage collections without overwhelming a space?

Share in the comments!

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Hilary Prall

Hilary Prall is the creative mind behind Hilary Prall Blog, an online destination for vibrant, eclectic interior design. Hilary’s passion is creating unique, beautiful spaces that work for real-life budgets. Through her website and digital channels, she shares her colorful home design, DIY ideas, and a penchant for repurposing thrifted items with inspo-seekers all over.

Hilary’s design brightens the feeds of almost 40k fans on Instagram and Facebook. She has been featured regularly on Des Moines NBC affiliate WHO-TV, home retailer blogs, and several online magazines. She offers an array of affordable digital products that provide design help with the click of a mouse.

Before starting Hilary Prall Blog in 2015, Hilary spent years at a job that wasn’t her true calling. That experience, though, is what drives her enthusiasm for encouraging others to pursue their dreams and supporting other entrepreneurs.

A life that blends work, creative interests, and family provides ongoing inspiration as Hilary and husband Jason (with support from Cooper the corgi and Sheldon + Howard the cats) turn the transformation of their builder-grade ranch home into endless sources of design ideas. When she’s not tinkering at home, the next best bets are thrifting, road-tripping, trying a locally-owned restaurant, or enjoying the outdoors.

Visit her at www.hilaryprall.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Kathi (00:01.381)

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter -Free Academy, where our heart is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And we are back. If you didn’t get to hear last week’s episode with designer Hilary Prall,

and content creator, and she’s just fabulous, you guys. You just need to go check her out. Go take a listen to that, because I think that that was a really rich and interesting conversation. Hilary is the daughter of a hoarder and has had to walk through that journey. And as many of you know, both Tonya and I have walked through that journey as well. And to get a little bit of an idea of what you can and cannot do in that journey.

Hilary Prall (00:32.557)

You

Kathi (01:00.549)

But today I want to tap into the other side of Hilary’s life and that is about the design side and You know Hilary I’m sure you said that you’re still going through some of your mom’s things like you’re still working on that situation in your life and That’s been kind of exhausting and I thought it was such an interesting point when we are surrounded by so much clutter

whether it’s ours or somebody else’s, it really can deplete you artistically, creatively, emotionally. Is that what you’ve been going through the past couple of years?

Hilary Prall (01:44.907)

Yeah, I think I just, I mean, aside from just, you know, the suddenness of losing my mom, but then knowing that I was gonna have to deal with all of this stuff. And it feels very lonely. I mean, people will offer to help you, but they have no idea. And we have had very helpful people in it. The sort of…

part of this is that my mom had gotten remarried and we love him and are very thankful to have him in our lives. We’re his only family. He’s our only family at this point. But it’s his house. And so, you know, whereas most people we would have sorted through everything and then had an auction or an estate sale, we have had to work around him and schlepping it and, you know,

Kathi (02:26.853)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hilary Prall (02:38.794)

my husband likes to be very efficient and not touch things three times or four times. And it was, you know, and we’ve sort of had to deal with him saying, it’s totally fine. And he has been very patient, but then he would get a wild hair and like clear out a whole section of stuff and shove it in a closet. And so it’s like, so now I have to re go through that closet. So just kind of, you know, that part of, and then she lived an hour away. So just a lot of things that made.

Kathi (02:42.853)

Right.

Kathi (03:00.261)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (03:07.977)

made it all just a little bit harder. It’s like, you know, couldn’t something be a little easier? So we have the bulk of it done now. The other thing is we had to go through every box because it was just, she did try to get organized several times. And so there would be stuff mixed in that shouldn’t have been and whatever. So we have the bulk of it done to the point that the rest can easily be.

Kathi (03:13.797)

Right.

Kathi (03:20.933)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (03:33.161)

donated or taken to auction in just one of our vehicles. We had to rent a moving truck for the big auction. And then she just had a lot of jewelry. So I have taken, I think, three loads now to a local jewelry store to have to sell the metal. She had a lot of costume, but also, I mean, it’s worth money, the gold. So I probably have one.

Kathi (03:39.429)

Yeah.

Kathi (03:44.549)

Hmm.

Kathi (03:52.869)

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Hilary Prall (04:00.392)

maybe one more, two more loads to take of that. So just the time that it takes. So it takes all your free time. And so, you know, I would do whatever work I could during the week that I felt like doing for myself, for my own business, keeping our house running. And then, you know, we really tried on the weekends to get down there and do some work. So.

Kathi (04:08.677)

Yeah.

Kathi (04:15.973)

Yeah.

Kathi (04:23.205)

Hilary, let me ask you a question before we dive into the design and decorating side of things. I was just listening to a great person on TikTok whose mother suddenly passed away. And she said she was giving advice for any parents out there about wills and estates and trusts and things like that. It was great, really terrific advice. I would love to hear from you as somebody who is going through the thick of it.

What would your top piece of advice be for somebody like your mom? Like, is there a list she could have left? What could she have done to make this a little bit easier? We know she wasn’t gonna get herself organized, but is there something she could have done? And then what would be your top piece of advice for somebody who’s in your situation, who’s going into a hoarder’s house? Who, what?

Hilary Prall (05:10.631)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (05:20.677)

I would love those two pieces of advice.

Hilary Prall (05:24.966)

So I think both pieces of advice can work for both parties. So number one, we’ve talked about this a whole bunch. Thankfully, my mom left us some money to work with. There was money in the estate, but no matter what you’re doing to get rid of stuff, it costs money. Dumpsters cost money. You can take stuff to the Goodwill or whatever, but when you’re talking about a hoarder’s house,

Kathi (05:29.029)

Okay.

Kathi (05:37.765)

Okay.

Hilary Prall (05:52.485)

And I know people think about hoarders as being dirty. My mom wasn’t like that. I think she could have gone down that road had she not gotten remarried. It was just such tremendous volumes of stuff. Some of it, you know, there was mold involved and things like that. But you have to somehow get it to wherever it’s going. And you can’t. It’s not just going to be a, you know, a few loads to goodwill. Number one, they don’t want all that stuff in one trip.

Kathi (05:52.581)

Yeah.

Kathi (05:57.893)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kathi (06:20.357)

Right.

Hilary Prall (06:21.509)

but you have to somehow get rid of it. Thankfully we lived close enough that it was reasonable, but if you lived out of state, I don’t know what people would do if you’re not close. I mean, so have some money set aside, I guess. If you are not the parent and you’re the person who you know you’re gonna have to deal with this, I would start maybe talking to figure out.

Kathi (06:30.021)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (06:37.029)

Yes.

Hilary Prall (06:47.492)

Where’s my local auction? Who does the state sales? Now, again, other situations, you might be able to have someone come in and do the auction there or whatever. And a lot of times with hoarders, if it’s bad, the stuff’s not salvageable. So you could call, like you can hire 1 -800 -GOT -JUNK, but maybe just come up with a game plan of some sort of how you are gonna liquidate it because it is a lot and it’s a lot of work and it’s, you know,

Kathi (07:01.125)

Right. Yes.

Kathi (07:14.373)

Mmm.

Hilary Prall (07:17.156)

Again, you don’t want to, I don’t like to ask for help. That’s my personality, but at some point we just needed some bodies to help us get stuff upstairs and not completely break our bodies and burn out. So just how you’re gonna deal with it, the finances, what that looks like. We’ve spent a lot of money just trying to get rid of stuff, which seems crazy.

Kathi (07:21.893)

Yeah.

Kathi (07:30.629)

Yeah.

Kathi (07:42.949)

It does.

Hilary Prall (07:44.611)

The other thing that I think would be helpful, luckily, like I have said, I love old stuff. I have always loved old stuff. A lot of the stuff I have now acquired that was family, I looked at at my grandma’s house when she had it. And so I would just pour through stuff. So I knew what was a lot of family stuff. My sister would have had no idea, because she doesn’t care about that stuff. I wish I would have asked or,

Kathi (07:59.973)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (08:13.282)

enforced a little bit more with my mom, please write down the history of this or who did this belong to. Because at a certain point, not that it matters, you know, like 50 years from now, I’m not going to care if my nieces keep everything that was mine. And I don’t think that our ancestors think that you should. But it is important to you know, if something’s really important or has provenance, you should

Kathi (08:18.085)

Hmm, yeah.

Kathi (08:30.597)

Right.

Kathi (08:34.405)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (08:40.546)

want to know those stories. And I did know some of it, but I wish either my mom had done more or I had asked more about it because she held on to those things so tightly that we didn’t know a lot of the stories behind them. There are things that I remember from my childhood, even from our own house that I wanted to hold on to, but I just wish I knew a little bit more of the history behind some of the stuff.

Kathi (09:02.565)

Sure. Yeah. Yeah, my mom is putting Post -it notes under things. And just to say a little bit about where she got that milk glass or whatever the thing is. And like, she is, you know, for a long time when I would go visit her, she would say, don’t throw away the milk glass. You can sell it, or you can keep it, but don’t throw it away. And I’m like, okay, mom.

Hilary Prall (09:10.241)

Okay, yeah.

Hilary Prall (09:15.905)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (09:27.36)

Yep. Yep.

Kathi (09:28.869)

I’m learning about milk glass. I promise but you know, I just want to hear I want I want everybody who is in our clutter free Listening audience to hear what Hilary has said that Your mom who I’m sure was a lovely but complicated person Left you with a task that has left you feeling alone and

Hilary Prall (09:31.904)

Yes.

Kathi (09:58.341)

I don’t think any of us would wish that upon our children. And so to hear what Hilary is saying, if there are things that you can do right now, if there are things you can get rid of right now, if there are the stories that you can tell about those items so that your child or whomever is, your nieces, your nephews, your grandkids, whomever it is, they don’t.

End up feeling alone. I think that would be list. That would be a great service that you have provided here Hilary Okay, I want to talk about more fun things. Let’s talk about fun Okay So I want you love vintage. I think a lot of our cluttery people do I think one of the things and when I say cluttery people I count myself as as one of those people so i’m not pointing any finger. Well, if i’m pointing fingers i’m pointing them back at me but

Hilary Prall (10:29.211)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:56.517)

I think we, a lot of cluttery people have a real deep appreciation for vintage. And that’s why it is hard for us to get rid of things. So how do you incorporate your love for vintage into your designs in a way that promotes a healthy clutter -free living space? Because it can be really easy to do too much or keep things just because they were old. But how do you incorporate it into a way,

that it’s not just lovable, but livable.

Hilary Prall (11:30.014)

I will say we don’t have children, so it makes it a lot easier. I think if you have little kids running around, you’re not gonna have all of this stuff. That’s just how it is. We do have three active pets, so I have to be okay if things get broken or whatever. I have a few things even right now that…

Kathi (11:32.997)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (11:38.725)

Right.

Kathi (11:46.437)

Yes.

Hilary Prall (11:53.79)

I know I need to change out just because of how we live and I’m tired of messing with it. I think that’s part of it is if you if it’s constantly bringing you angst or whatever, then reevaluate it. You know, I really try to keep our bedroom very calm, very clutter free. And sometimes it’s just the addition of one extra thing that can just that’s it. I need to I need to clear the decks. So.

Kathi (12:21.957)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (12:23.101)

I think for me, I don’t ever want people to feel like they have to be overly careful. Last week, we have a cleaning lady that comes every couple of weeks and she does a great job considering how much nonsense I have. And so just very absentmindedly, she was here and I was out talking while she was working and I was just going through and fluffing my stuff because I’m also a little OCD.

Kathi (12:28.741)

Hmm.

Kathi (12:32.773)

Yeah.

Kathi (12:37.797)

Hahaha!

Hilary Prall (12:50.076)

And she said, I’m sorry. She said, I can’t ever remember how your stuff goes back. I said, do not worry about that. That’s on me. That is for me to go through and be fidgety about. So I think just manage your expectations. I mean, do you want people to feel comfortable in your house? Then, you know, they have to be able to live with your stuff. Plenty of people. I have an Instagram friend that has the most incredible home.

Kathi (13:10.917)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (13:18.587)

and I was lucky enough to go and visit it and it is museum worthy. But also I think it’d be really hard to add anybody else to that house. So I think it does have to depend on what your, and he would say that, so I think it’s okay. But you have to be okay with whatever your situation is and what it can accommodate, I guess.

Kathi (13:23.365)

Hmm.

Kathi (13:32.357)

Mm -hmm. Yes.

Kathi (13:42.117)

I love that it’s being realistic about how you live so you can be realistic about how you design, how you bring things in and living with what you love. Guys, we’re gonna take a quick break and then when we come back, I wanna talk to Hilary about what advice she would give to somebody that she was helping with designs who struggles with clutter. We’re gonna take a quick break and then we’ll come back with that.

Hilary Prall (13:47.098)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:12.293)

Okay friends, we are back and Hilary knows our cluttery hearts. She knows our cluttery spaces. And so if you were working with a client, what advice would you give to somebody who tends towards clutter? Do you have any really practical ideas or solutions or maybe some inspiration for them?

Hilary Prall (14:27.962)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (14:33.689)

I think honestly the first thing is clear the decks a little bit. Take everything out if you’re redoing a space. If you’re unsure about something, put it in a tub and if you don’t care about it a month from now, three months from now, it can move on. It can find somewhere else to live. I also think same with clothing. If you’re tired of wearing something but you hold on to it because, I might use that, well, when you’re ready to use it,

maybe just go buy something new. Say I over the last three years have lost over 70 pounds. So I don’t need to hold on to those old clothes because I’m gonna buy something new. Life is very, very short. So I don’t think that you need to hold on to every last detail of everything. Keep the sentimental pieces. Part of…

Kathi (15:04.869)

Yeah, yeah.

Kathi (15:11.173)

Wow.

Mm -hmm. Right.

Hilary Prall (15:29.369)

Part of going through my mom’s stuff was I’ve really sifted through. So I’ve, you’ve touched every single thing. And I have an entire closet downstairs plus some overflow of family things that I’ve brought home. My sister needs to come through and go through them. And then the rest of it, I’m gonna pick the things that I really care about and the rest I’m gonna try to reach out to the historical society of where my grandma’s from and, you know, kind of liquidate some stuff that way. But, cause I…

Kathi (15:35.685)

Mmm.

Kathi (15:54.181)

yeah.

Hilary Prall (15:57.816)

They’re important things, but also I don’t need to keep them. So not everything has to be kept. Not everything in my house should be important to my nieces and nephews down the road. You know, it’s just not everything is sentimental.

Kathi (16:03.109)

Right.

Kathi (16:15.845)

Yes, and so I love that thought that yes, this is important history, but my house is not a museum. And, you know, we can take pictures. You’ve given me two ideas that I’ve never really considered auction houses and your grandmother’s local historical society. You know, is this something? Yeah. Tell me more about that.

Hilary Prall (16:38.839)

Yeah, they’re actually, yeah. So they’re, well, and this is just because I grew up going to this. There are a couple of, I think, there are always historical societies. So, I mean, they’re always looking for things. They want to have curated, you know, whatever. There’s a big event that we would go to every year. And I can specifically remember there is a whole little room or house devoted to scary old dolls, which I don’t want.

Kathi (16:47.173)

Yeah.

Kathi (17:07.173)

Mm -hmm, right.

Hilary Prall (17:07.958)

But I have two of my grandmas and I have her little baby buggy and that would be a great thing to give them. And, you know, my grandpa was a farmer down there and I mean, they, they want that stuff. They want ephemera and you know, all the things that for all intents and purposes, I will never really look at again, but I have all of this stuff. So unless I want to display it or really feel like I’m going to look at it again, I just, I don’t need that heaviness. But.

Kathi (17:19.205)

Yes.

Kathi (17:27.557)

Right.

Hilary Prall (17:37.973)

I didn’t want to make a rash decision while I was going through things and just pitch it. Because I did get rid of a few things that I kind of am like, shoot. But also, I’m not gonna let that, yeah.

Kathi (17:40.293)

Yeah.

Kathi (17:47.909)

Mm hmm. Well, that’s gonna happen with the amount of stuff you had to deal with. You’re gonna get you’re gonna get rid of a few things that, you know, maybe but we can’t let that keep us from getting rid of the things that are going to stop us from living. And, you know, when we bought this house, and you don’t know anything about my story, but we bought a house in the middle of the woods, like, and the people we bought it from,

Hilary Prall (17:54.293)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (18:06.196)

No.

Hilary Prall (18:14.58)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (18:17.893)

they left a lot of their stuff here, including an antique water stand that we love and they loved it, but they had no place for it. Their kids had no place for it. And so the agreement we left with was if I ever decide to get rid of it, I call them. And if they don’t want it, then it’s up to me to get rid of it. And I was fine with that. And another thing that they…

Hilary Prall (18:29.236)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (18:36.148)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (18:45.221)

They had this giant list of all these things that they were leaving with us, but one thing they were not leaving was an IKEA table. And we’re like, well, that’s odd. You left all this other stuff. Why are you taking the IKEA table? Come to find out this IKEA table was from the original IKEA in… Yes, it was the IKEA in Europe. And it was bought, I think, either in the 40s or 50s and shipped to the United States.

Hilary Prall (18:54.099)

Hilary Prall (19:04.339)

IKEA.

Hilary Prall (19:11.795)

Okay.

Kathi (19:14.085)

And so that’s a part of their family history. And we love that story so much, and they still sell that brand of table at IKEA. We bought that, we bought the 2019 version of it. And you can still have the story without having the object. And to be able to carry that on is great. When do you know that your passion,

Hilary Prall (19:22.322)

Okay, yeah. that’s awesome.

Hilary Prall (19:29.778)

Yeah, yeah.

Hilary Prall (19:35.09)

Absolutely.

Kathi (19:42.757)

for board games or paint by numbers has gotten out of control. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, guys, she mentioned these in the last episode. But how do you know when it’s enough?

Hilary Prall (19:55.634)

Well, I have stipulations so for the the paint by numbers I don’t want although I just bought one that doesn’t doesn’t align with this but it’s it’s so different that it’s okay, but I Don’t really like people in them. I don’t like eyes So they have to sort of fit my colors and I want them to be pretty well done You know the board games I don’t

Kathi (20:05.577)

We won’t judge you.

Kathi (20:13.125)

Mmm.

Okay.

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (20:22.417)

I have shelves that I could stack them on, but part of the display is that I’ve hung a lot of them on the wall as display. So I don’t know, is there an end to something? I would say as long as it’s not stressing you out, you’re not putting yourself in financial distress, you can still walk in your house, I suppose it’s okay.

Kathi (20:28.261)

yes.

Kathi (20:41.253)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (20:44.625)

But if you can no longer enjoy your stuff, that is for me genuinely it. I wanna look at it. I wanna look at it. I wanna enjoy it. I love my stuff, but I don’t wanna have to put it in a tote and think about it randomly. So for me, I don’t wanna store stuff. I want it out and about. And as far as like my family stuff, one thing I did wanna say is just because my mom had it or my grandma had it,

Kathi (20:44.805)

Yeah.

Kathi (20:55.461)

Yeah.

Kathi (21:00.677)

Right, right.

Hilary Prall (21:14.096)

I want to collect my own stuff. I have a whole life ahead of me. I very easily from the loss that has happened in my life could easily think, gosh, I don’t have a life left. But I have a lot of years left hopefully and I have a lot of collecting to do. So I want to have room to collect my own things. I don’t want to have to just have my mom’s stuff.

Kathi (21:16.389)

Right. Yes.

Kathi (21:28.997)

Guess.

Kathi (21:38.021)

I love that. And you said you want to enjoy your stuff, but you also want to enjoy your space. And I think that’s the perfect balance for what we’re talking about. To be able to enjoy your stuff and be able to put your, enjoy your space and to have some guidelines. I love your guidelines for your paint by numbers. It can’t have people, it can’t have I, and you said, but that you said there was an exception to that that you just bought.

Hilary Prall (21:44.431)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (21:48.399)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (21:54.639)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (21:59.759)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (22:03.695)

Yeah.

Kathi (22:04.709)

but you must have loved it so much that you were willing to break your own rule. And I think that’s the reason we have rules and guidelines to keep us kind of contained. But then we know when something is outside of that and that’s really special. Hilary, you’ve given us so much to think about. Where would you like people most to seek you out? Is it through your website, through Instagram? Where should people go find you?

Hilary Prall (22:09.295)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (22:14.415)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (22:29.807)

Instagram first, I hang out there a lot. I’m in stories a lot there, that’s what I love. I love to be able to connect with people that way. So I would say definitely Instagram. From there you can find me anywhere, but also if they go to my website, I have a pop -up to join my email list. I email once a week. I really try to share something there that I’m not sharing anywhere else, so it’s definitely bonus material, bonus content. And…

Kathi (22:33.797)

Yeah. Okay.

Kathi (22:42.181)

Okay.

Kathi (22:51.973)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (22:58.766)

Yeah, I just really, as I have walked through this, the people who have reached out to me saying, I had to go through this, I’m going through this, I’m going to have to go through this, you know, and I think just the self -realization that we can all kind of struggle with it. I’ve had a few messages that were kind of rude, you know, saying this is a mental illness, you know, but I understand. I 100 % understand and I watched my mom struggle with it.

Kathi (23:10.757)

Yeah.

Kathi (23:23.589)

Yeah. Yeah.

Hilary Prall (23:27.629)

overtly for 20 years. You know, so I would be the last person to judge anybody about it, but it would be wonderful if people could seek the help that they, that I’m assuming is out there. I know people specialize in it, but also, you know, if you’re going through it with a family member, I know that, you know, it genuinely is like drugs or alcohol. I mean, I would try to explain that to my husband. It was really hard for him to understand it.

Kathi (23:29.893)

Yeah.

Kathi (23:40.133)

Right.

Kathi (23:50.149)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (23:54.349)

And you know, I know people sometimes do have to just walk away from a situation. Luckily, I didn’t have to do that with my mom, but you have to have some boundaries and anyway, so.

Kathi (24:01.445)

Yeah.

100 % yeah, you know, lots of times with hoarders, they want you to hold on to their stuff. They want you to be a part of it. And just because one person suffers from hoarding doesn’t mean there aren’t other sufferers surrounding them. And, you know, can we acknowledge both as victims? I think that that’s a really important thing that you’re saying here. There’s more than one victim.

Hilary Prall (24:22.123)

Yes, absolutely.

Hilary Prall (24:30.123)

Absolutely.

Kathi (24:33.701)

Hilary, I love the compassion you have for your mom while also speaking the truth. Guys, she’s got tears in her eyes and as the fellow daughter of a hoarder, I feel those tears. I’m further removed than she is. She’s in the thick of it right now. So I wanna say an extra thank you for being here and sharing your story with us. Thank you so much. Okay.

Hilary Prall (24:58.475)

Absolutely, yeah. Thanks.

Kathi (25:01.637)

Friends, you’ve been listening to Clutterfree Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

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Hey there, friends! Have you ever struggled with finding the balance between loving vintage and clutter?

In this enlightening episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp welcomes designer and content creator Hilary Prall. Kathi and Hilary explore the challenges of breaking free from generational clutter habits and finding a balance between loving vintage items and maintaining an organized home. As the daughter of a hoarder, Hilary offers valuable insights on curating spaces, letting go of sentimental items, and developing strategies to resist hoarding tendencies.

Listeners will discover:

  • How to set clear goals
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  • The importance of displaying and enjoying items rather than storing them away

This episode offers a unique perspective on the intersection of design, organization, and personal growth, making it a must-listen for anyone struggling with clutter or seeking to create a more intentional living space.

Click here to be notified when Part 2 of this interview with Hilary Prall is released.

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Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

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How do you balance your love for vintage items with maintaining a clutter-free space?

Share in the comments!

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  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
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Meet Our Guest 

 

Hilary Prall

Hilary Prall is the creative mind behind Hilary Prall Blog, an online destination for vibrant, eclectic interior design. Hilary’s passion is creating unique, beautiful spaces that work for real-life budgets. Through her website and digital channels, she shares her colorful home design, DIY ideas, and a penchant for repurposing thrifted items with inspo-seekers all over.

Hilary’s design brightens the feeds of almost 40k fans on Instagram and Facebook. She has been featured regularly on Des Moines NBC affiliate WHO-TV, home retailer blogs, and several online magazines. She offers an array of affordable digital products that provide design help with the click of a mouse.

Before starting Hilary Prall Blog in 2015, Hilary spent years at a job that wasn’t her true calling. That experience, though, is what drives her enthusiasm for encouraging others to pursue their dreams and supporting other entrepreneurs.

A life that blends work, creative interests, and family provides ongoing inspiration as Hilary and husband Jason (with support from Cooper the corgi and Sheldon + Howard the cats) turn the transformation of their builder-grade ranch home into endless sources of design ideas. When she’s not tinkering at home, the next best bets are thrifting, road-tripping, trying a locally-owned restaurant, or enjoying the outdoors.

Visit her at www.hilaryprall.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Kathi (00:01.669)

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy where our heart is to help you live with less clutter and more life. And today, I think this is gonna be a turning point episode for some of you. If you live with a hoarder,

If you grew up with a hoarder, if you have a hoarder in your extended family, today’s episode is for you. As many of you know, I grew up with a hoarder. Tanya, who is our most frequent co -host on here, also grew up with a hoarder. And I’ve got a new friend, guys. This is Hilary Prall. She is the creative mind behind Hilary Prall Vlog. It’s an online play. By the way, the website is gorgeous.

She had it’s it’s a vibrant like eclectic vibe I don’t even know how else to put it and if you guys are not seeing if you’re if you’re not watching this you’re just hearing this if You could just see Hillary’s background, you’d know what I was talking about, but we’re gonna put all the links in there She has featured regularly on the Des Moines NBC affiliate who TV She she’s all over the place on home retail block. So like I

Guys, she’s a designer. She’s got incredible style, but she has this part of her story that we’re going to dive deep into today. Hillary, welcome to the podcast.

Hilary Prall (01:38.988)

Hello, thank you for having me.

Kathi (01:41.125)

Well, I’m so excited because to Neil who is on my team introduced us and she she’s like you have to have Hillary on your podcast and I said say less and then I started to dig into what you’re all about. So tell us tell us what you’re about your day job. Let’s just start there. What’s your day job?

Hilary Prall (01:58.603)

Okay, yeah. My day job is basically content creation, digital content creation. And I feel like sort of part of where I am with my business ties into what we’ll talk about today with my mom, Justin. Things have sort of come to a little bit of a stall over the last couple of years working through things with my mom’s estate. But looking really forward to getting back on track of…

creating content and building a brand of business. I started out, I worked in retail for 20 years and I loved that, but it was nothing that I intended to do for so long. And I got started working with real estate agents and just local people doing some decorating and staging. Finally left my nine to five and pursued that full time.

Kathi (02:34.341)

you

Kathi (02:38.565)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (02:53.386)

as well as creating content online. And a couple of years ago, I thought, I can’t do both of these things to their fullest capacity. That’s not my personality. Like we talked about to Neil being able to do all the things. I am not able to do all the things. So I sort of pulled back from the decorating end and I could always go back to that. Not that I think that I will, but I wanted to see if I could harness what the internet had to offer for creating content, encouraging people.

Kathi (02:59.621)

Right?

Kathi (03:06.437)

Hehehe.

Kathi (03:19.589)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (03:22.569)

inspiring them. That’s truly what I enjoy doing. I think we all have so many shared experiences that it’s hard to connect sometimes with the right people and find people who are like us, who share our stories. And so that is a big part of what I do in my space. I am very real. I do share all the good things and all the bad things. So.

Kathi (03:36.164)

Yeah.

Kathi (03:46.757)

Yeah, I started following her on Instagram and she’s a good follow you guys. She really is very down to earth and realistic but also inspirational which is kind of a hard line to walk but this is why I really wanted to talk to you was because I think you have the life that many of us who feel like we’re drowning in clutter. Your life online, while it looks real, it also looks beautiful.

Hilary Prall (03:51.049)

Hehehe.

Kathi (04:16.549)

And I think that’s what we want, but so many of us have the story of either we were raised by a hoarder or maybe we have those tendencies ourselves and we just feel like there is no hope for us. And when I heard about your journey with your mom, I wanted to dig a little deeper. So your mom would be considered a hoarder?

Hilary Prall (04:41.256)

Yes, I think for all intents and purposes she would. I mean, it’s not, I don’t know the legal definition of what a hoarder is. So some, she, I would say she always had the tendency. She grew up in a family that she never felt like they had anything nice. You know, her parents were raised during the depression. So, you know, you definitely may do and there’s nothing wrong with that. But along with that came some really,

Kathi (04:46.053)

Right.

Kathi (04:54.437)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (05:02.629)

Yeah.

Right.

Hilary Prall (05:09.671)

tough things as well. And I know that even people from that generation took that and just ran with it to the nth degree. So I think, I think, you know, even early in my parents’ marriage, they didn’t have the finances probably that she would have wanted. And so she couldn’t buy everything that she wanted. And my dad helped her to keep that in check to some degree. But when he passed away in 2004, it was just like, it,

Kathi (05:30.245)

Right?

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (05:39.622)

I just felt like it just happened instantly, but it definitely had different waves of how it happened. It looked like her going to Target and shopping the clearance end caps and then, you know, whatever was on clearance, it was always, it wasn’t having something nice. It wasn’t like she went and bought one diamond ring. It was, you know, a hundred junky things.

Kathi (05:52.005)

Right.

Kathi (06:04.933)

Right.

Hilary Prall (06:05.829)

it was just to fill that void. She got really into home shopping network. I think just finding that connection with somebody. And then she got into thrifting, which we had grown up going to garage sales, but we didn’t really go to the thrift store. That wasn’t something that was like normal to us, but she really got into that Facebook marketplace, you know, whatever it was, wherever she could get a deal and she would drag stuff home. So,

Kathi (06:10.245)

Hmm.

Kathi (06:17.701)

wow.

Kathi (06:22.341)

Yeah.

Kathi (06:31.429)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (06:34.949)

The first sort of round of it was she ended up selling our childhood home to my sister and my brother -in -law on contract. So she had to clear out to move and then she moved into a townhouse and…

Part of, she filled it, obviously. But also during that time she was doing a lot of hiding. So she had a couple of relationships that she wasn’t totally honest with us about and was just really in hiding. I can count on two hands the number of times I was in that house. And every time I went there it was fuller and fuller and…

Kathi (06:55.493)

Yeah.

Kathi (07:05.637)

Hmm.

Yeah.

Kathi (07:12.261)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (07:18.34)

you know, there would be things like my wanted my childhood bedroom set and she couldn’t let go of that. That was hers. And just, I mean, she so I mean, it definitely was. I think that is a part of being a hoarder is everything is yours. You’re just gripping onto it so tightly. So she she quite filled that house and it was just a really big source of contention. From there, she did meet someone and.

Kathi (07:25.765)

Hmm.

Kathi (07:31.813)

Yeah. Right.

Hilary Prall (07:46.883)

was getting remarried in 2013 and we’re very happy and we were very honest with him. This is, you’re getting yourself into something here, but I don’t think you couldn’t, unless you’ve seen it or been involved in it, you can’t wrap your head around it. So we were able to get her moved from that house finally. She kept the house even after she got married for a couple of years, but then it was like, this is silly.

Kathi (07:55.557)

Right.

Kathi (08:00.261)

Right. Yeah.

Kathi (08:13.125)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (08:13.155)

But that meant she filled two storage units. She filled his giant Morton building. She, you know, started filling his basement and then just continued. So it was a big issue within their marriage as well.

Kathi (08:27.877)

So first of all, it is just so heartbreaking because hoarders and it does, I mean, again, I’m not a clinical psychologist, but it does sound like she has the classic symptoms of hoarding. Mom, why are you keeping this? And there’s not really a good explanation, but to take it from her would be devastating.

Hilary Prall (08:41.953)

absolutely.

Hilary Prall (08:53.633)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (08:53.989)

and the buying things that they don’t need and the hiding and the anger at anybody trying to change anything or judge anything. And so it does sound like she has some of the classic hallmarks of hoarding. And there’s not a lot that family can do. There just isn’t. So part of my question is,

Hilary Prall (09:18.177)

No.

Kathi (09:23.877)

Why do you think that you did not go in the same direction? Why do you think or did you did you like part of my story is my dad was a hoarder and I started to hang on to too much stuff. And then I got to a point where it’s like, no, I can’t live like this. I can’t be, you know, for me, it was clutter. It wasn’t hoarding, but I could definitely see the tendencies in my life. So where did you fall on that scale?

Hilary Prall (09:28.992)

Hmm.

Hilary Prall (09:37.248)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (09:51.072)

Sure, I mean I definitely have the tendencies. I mean, you know, and I love vintage, I love old things. So it’s been difficult going through my mom’s stuff because she kept, my grandma came out of, you know, the Victorian era where you did literally keep everything, you know, and then she was in the depression. And so she kept not only like sentimental things but,

Kathi (09:54.565)

Yeah.

Kathi (09:58.245)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:09.829)

Right.

Right.

Hilary Prall (10:19.935)

useful things. And so when she passed away, my mom, her siblings came and they took, you know, the few things that they wanted. And then literally, I think she hauled everything else home. So in having to go through all of my mom’s stuff, you know, there’s also a lot of family stuff and it’s hard to, it’s hard to decide because I love old things. It’s not just that it was family stuff, but it’s old stuff. So I feel like it has meaning. Like I don’t want to just see it.

Kathi (10:21.143)

Right.

Kathi (10:45.765)

Right.

Hilary Prall (10:49.151)

go in a dumpster somewhere or whatever. I think the difference comes in that because I’ve had to deal with this, a lot of things have lost sentimentality. Definitely for my sister. She couldn’t care less about most things. I go through seasons. I’ve been taking things to auction myself. So part of how my business started was buying and reselling vintage. So it’s definitely in my

Kathi (10:59.045)

Mmm.

Kathi (11:03.781)

Yeah.

Kathi (11:16.325)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (11:18.974)

in my DNA and I would say anybody who buys and sells vintage, it’s a really hard thing to stop. So it just is and you have to, there’s nothing wrong with it, but when it starts to cause you stress is when, that’s when it bothers my husband. Okay, it’s stressing you out, you’re causing yourself stress.

Kathi (11:20.293)

Right.

Kathi (11:26.373)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kathi (11:37.125)

Yes. Okay. Yeah.

Hilary Prall (11:42.558)

I have one room in our basement left that I’m working through, but I like to think that I don’t cling to things like she did. I’m willing to get rid of them. I try to give things to people who would enjoy them. I can see that it’s just stuff. So…

Kathi (11:50.949)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:00.681)

So we’re gonna take a quick break and when we come back I want to know how did you get to that point of knowing I love I really you know, I enjoy this I can appreciate it I may even love it, but I can’t keep everything so I would love to hear some of your thought process behind that and how you got to that point in your journey because as a designer as a decorator I

I bet you could imagine a use for almost anything and I would love to hear how you’re able to curate what you’re deciding to keep and what you’re giving away. So we will take a quick break and come right back.

Hey guys, we are back with Hilary Prall, who is a designer, a decorator, an online content creator, influencer, and daughter of a hoarder. And so we were just discussing, Hilary, how are you able to keep from keeping all the things?

Hilary Prall (13:06.587)

Number one, I try to keep what my goals are in mind. We have a goal of moving from our house eventually and moving to a town that we really love. And so the thought of having to move all of this stuff, we moved from a house that was half the size of our house now when we bought this house in 2018. And at that time I got rid of a lot of stuff. I collected…

Kathi (13:12.901)

Hmm.

Kathi (13:23.397)

Hmm.

Hilary Prall (13:35.355)

vintage Pyrex and I had so much you couldn’t imagine it. But I got rid of a lot because I thought I’m gonna have nowhere to put it and I don’t want to move it. So I do have that goal of eventually you know us downsizing. I don’t want to take care of a big house. It’s just the two of us and I just don’t want that to fill my mind and my space. I have gotten better in creating content. I do

Kathi (13:51.269)

Yeah.

Hilary Prall (14:04.346)

some DIYs and things like that. So I would accumulate things at the thrift store that I think, this would be a good project or whatever. I can go to the thrift store any day of the week and find a project to do. So I’ve tried to keep that in mind that I don’t need to keep a stash of, unless it’s something really unique and cool, I don’t need to have a stash of things like that. I’m constantly getting rid of. So I think that’s important. That is, it’s an ever evolving door here, whether I’m giving it to friends or,

Kathi (14:14.853)

Hmm.

Kathi (14:21.573)

Yeah.

Hmm.

Hilary Prall (14:34.298)

giving it to the thrift store, selling it, whatever that looks like. I do think you have to get over the part that you spent money on it. You can nickel and dime yourself to death. If it’s a really something that’s valuable, sell it. I have discovered it’s really easy to take stuff to our local auction house. So I can set up an appointment and just take the load and then they, whatever’s left, they liquidate. I don’t have to worry about it.

Kathi (14:42.245)

Yes, yes.

Hilary Prall (15:03.577)

So for me, that has become the best option for getting rid of a lot of stuff that to me has value. It’s not just garbage.

Kathi (15:10.949)

I think it’s great that you have found your path of least resistance and for you it’s the auction house and I think we all need to figure that out. Is it straight donation? Is it selling it on Facebook or Marketplace? What is it for you? And get really good at that and rinse and repeat, absolutely.

Hilary Prall (15:20.097)

Yeah. Yeah.

Hilary Prall (15:33.98)

Yeah, yeah, I mean, it’s, you know, I understand the guilt is there. So, okay, what does that do for you? You know, I mean, learn from it is all you can do. You know, maybe set a financial goal of something else that you would really enjoy and then, you know, sell your stuff or don’t buy new stuff.

Kathi (15:44.613)

Right, yes.

Hilary Prall (15:56.248)

Unfortunately, I probably would make a lot of environmentalists cry because I’m not doing a lot of recycling or you know, whatever. It just has to go. I think if you get that into your head, get rid of it. Just get rid of it. Don’t, you know, you’re not saving the planet in this one in this one moment. So I don’t, you know, one thing that my mom had was she would save. She had tons of medical.

Kathi (16:03.205)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kathi (16:17.157)

Right.

Hilary Prall (16:24.599)

stuff that would come, whether it was a bill or insurance or whatever, and they always have that blank sheet of paper on the front of the back, and she would save it as scratch paper. She had more scratch paper than any one person could ever use, and so going through her stuff, I was like, gosh, I’m just gonna throw away all this scratch paper. It’s like, yes, just get rid of it, burn it, whatever.

Kathi (16:25.957)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Kathi (16:36.933)

Right. Yeah.

Kathi (16:44.045)

Yeah. You know, I think, and I really do believe this is true, the best way for us to make an environmental impact is to choose who we’re buying from and what we’re buying. And instead of on the back end, once we already have the stuff and having to make those decisions. And we recycle, we bring out a big tub of recycling every single.

Hilary Prall (17:00.85)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (17:12.805)

But our community is set up for it and not all communities are. And so do what you can, but really if your biggest concern is the environment, it’s the not purchasing in the first place.

Hilary Prall (17:16.47)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (17:27.765)

Absolutely, and I would I would go a little bit further and say, you know, there’s even a new trend to like

I would say almost glamorize the reusable or the whatever. And so it’s almost like there’s an encouragement to like, okay, I have this bottle, but here’s this other bottle that’s really biodegradable and whatever. So you better throw away this bottle and go buy the other bottle. No, that’s no, you know, so then, but probably what would happen is you’d end up with like five of the bottles or whatever.

Kathi (17:42.501)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (17:52.197)

Right.

Kathi (17:56.549)

Yeah, it makes no sense.

Hilary Prall (18:05.396)

One thing my husband and I have done is just tried to focus on buying the best of whatever we’re buying. Buy at your top dollar. So hopefully it lasts and hopefully you’re just getting what you want. I think a big part of how hoarding can come about is that you feel like you’re never actually getting what you want. It’s the same with food addiction or whatever. You’re just not feeling fulfilled in it. So.

Kathi (18:11.045)

Mm. Right.

Yes.

Kathi (18:26.533)

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, yeah. Right. Because that target clearance purchase fills a need in the moment, but it doesn’t fill a long -term need. It fills that high of buying something. And by the way, I totally resonate with that high of buying something. But for me, it could be the high of buying a Costco chicken. Like, there, I…

Hilary Prall (18:40.468)

Mm -hmm. nope.

Kathi (18:58.213)

To me, it’s the same thing. And it’s like, okay, but also I’m learning to say, you know what, there’s also a thrill in using what I have. There’s also a thrill in feeling like I’m being wise and clever and smart with what I actually have. So how do you, what’s the thing that you say to yourself when you are purchasing something or when you’re considering purchasing something?

How what you know from vintage items to maybe you know craft supply whatever that is Do you have like? This is why i’m buying it. Do you have questions you ask yourself? Do you have something? What’s that thought process so that you are not acquiring and by the way? I love what you said about keeping the end goal in mind If the end goal is to move if the end goal is to enjoy your house

Hilary Prall (19:50.994)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (19:57.17)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (19:57.477)

and not feel overstuffed. If your end goal is to save up for a vacation, those end goals do not align with buying the clearance stuff at Target 99 % of the time. So I love that. So I would love to know, how do you keep that end goal in mind? What do you say to yourself when you’re considering a purchase?

Hilary Prall (20:10.641)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (20:19.249)

Well, I need to do better about it. I feel like I go in shifts. So one thing that I try…

Kathi (20:22.021)

We all do.

Hilary Prall (20:30.129)

I’ll phrase it this way. One thing that I do try to do is I am a very out of sight, out of mind person. So that means if my stuff isn’t out on display for me to enjoy, I don’t even care about it. So I think that is a little bit different than hoarders because they can pinpoint exactly where everything is and they’re very still concerned with it.

Kathi (20:47.205)

Mm -hmm.

Yes.

Hilary Prall (20:54.192)

That doesn’t mean I don’t have stuff still in my house that I’m not using or enjoying, but that’s out of laziness or whatever. But I try to keep that in focus. If I’m not using certain things, they can go by the wayside. So as I bring things in, can I take something out that is similar or that I’m not loving anymore? You know, I have a basement that I love very different styles of vintage. So our basement is like,

Kathi (21:14.853)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (21:24.016)

bright and colorful and has vintage board games and things like that. I’ve reached my capacity of vintage board games, I think, unless there’s just something that’s outstanding. So I think knowing, I mean, where’s the end? What’s your end? What’s the limit? Because I know that I want to be able to display these things. It’s not that I want to put them in a room for a later date.

Kathi (21:32.773)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (21:40.389)

Right.

Hilary Prall (21:49.807)

I have an entire wall filled with vintage paint by numbers. I don’t have any more room for paint by numbers. So unless one is just fabulous, there’s no reason for me to bring that home. So curation, I have a lot of stuff, but I think for the most part, I know when things are getting out of hand because stuff starts to feel wonky or off kilter or too crowded.

Kathi (22:01.605)

Mmm. I love that. It’s curation. Yeah.

Hilary Prall (22:17.871)

I think for the most part I still have visual space around everything. A lot of stacks and things like that, but I also know that I really don’t hold tightly to anything. If someone came in and said, Hillary, you need to sell all this stuff, great, that’s totally fine. But I know that telling that to my mom, that wouldn’t have mattered. Yeah.

Kathi (22:17.925)

Mm.

Kathi (22:22.213)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (22:42.725)

No, it would have been a very different thing. I love where you have come from in your journey to this because I think that one of the things that us cluttery people know, I think this is a really good sign of health, that we can be extremists sometimes. Either I’m a hoarder or a minimalist. And I think that there is a happy place. As a cluttery person, I enjoy stuff.

Hilary Prall (23:06.094)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (23:12.709)

I really do, but I also know that too much stuff will really weigh me down. So there’s a sweet spot and it sounds like in your business, in your personal kind of thinking around stuff, you have found that sweet spot of I’m not a hoarder, I’m not a minimalist, I’m Hillary, I have found.

Hilary Prall (23:12.878)

Mm -hmm.

Hilary Prall (23:40.589)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (23:41.765)

what works for me and I can feel when I want something new in my house, I can also feel when there’s too much in my house and to let that guide you. I think that that’s really, really amazing. Hillary, this has been such a great conversation. I would love to bring you back and talk a little bit more about as somebody who understands clutter, as somebody who has lived with a hoarder and doesn’t want to be on that end of it,

but also somebody who makes their living by creating spaces that they really, really love and other people love. How do we find that intersection? So if you’d be willing to come back, I would love to have that discussion with you. Okay, guys, I’m gonna put all of Hillary’s links and where to find her. Guys, go follow her on Instagram. She, just looking at her board, you’re…

Hilary Prall (24:25.259)

Absolutely.

Kathi (24:40.741)

You’re gonna be inspired, you’re gonna be encouraged, and you’re gonna know she’s one of us, so it’s okay. That she is not judging you for not having all of it together because we’re all works in progress. You guys have been listening to Clutter -Free Academy, I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the clutter -free life you’ve always wanted to.

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