“If God can do this for me, He can do it for anyone.”
“What if you gave up on your dream today, and tomorrow was the day that it came true.”
“Never let your dreams die!”
You’ve been working so hard – maybe it’s a business, a ministry, a relationship – and you realize it’s not happening. You keep praying and hustling and for some reason, some unknown reason, the thing that you knew was supposed to happen, the thing you felt in your bones was God’s will for your life, is not happening.
I’ve felt this several times.
The job as manager of a bridal boutique when I was in my early 20’s.
My first marriage.
A radio show. (For two different major ministries.)
Oh there are many more. But these three? I remember where I was standing, what I was wearing, who I was with when that particular dream died.
One of these dreams was killed for me. It was a long painful death that caused me a lot of hurt and heartbreak. And the other two? I had to be the one to let it go – to make the decision that these particular dreams were over and it was time to move on.
Those were some of the hardest decisions of my life.
I was past the point of being sensible. Others saw that my dream was not going to happen. But I had those voices inside my head (and later, on Facebook) that told me differently.
“You and God can do anything.”
“Don’t give up on your dream!”
“With God, all things are possible.”
So I kept willing my dreams to stay on life support instead of letting them die with the dignity that they (and I) deserved.
Because even though everything is possible with God, it doesn’t mean God gives you every possibility.
Oh, I say I want God more than anything else. I know all the right things to say. But I want God through my dream. I want God to do what I want God to do, and give me my dreams so I can point to Him and say “Only God.”
But God promised his presence – not my presents.
So how do you let a dream die? Something that you’ve prayer for, prepared for, and invested in? How do you say goodbye? Here are some hard steps I’ve needed to wrestle through:
1 Acknowledge that it was important to you. This is not a time to be the fox with the grapes who said, “They probably were sour anyway.” So many times we try to explain away disappointment instead of feeling out way through it. It is good and right to grieve a dream that will never happen. It is important to acknowledge this was important to you. And then, there is a process of letting go. For me, this process involves praying, reading God’s word, talking with trusted people (my close circle of friends, my husband, my pastor,) and honestly, crying.
Looking at the five stages of grief that we go through when someone close to us dies, I think it’s interesting and helpful to note that we must go through those five stages when a dream dies.
1. Denial – refusing to let the dream die
2. Anger – Feelings of injustice that the dream is being taken away
3. Bargaining – Trying to make deals with God to get the dream back
4. Depression – Mourning the loss of the dream
5. Acceptance – Moving on and making room for a new dream.
But I believe for those of us who know God, there is a 6th step to grief.
6. Hope – We get to hope for better things. Yes, a dream has died, it is worth grieving. But when our faith is made real? We get to experience real hope.
If a dream is worth dreaming, it’s worth properly grieving.
2. Spend some time wrestling with God. It might be worth examining whether there was a reason God is withholding this particular dream. Is there something in my life that God is trying to get me to pay attention to? Is there sin that needs to be resolved? Or my favorite – has the dream become an idol. (Ugh – the ugly mirror.) Psalm 139:23 says “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” That is a bold verse to pray, but in order to have true breakthrough and understanding of what God is up to in our lives, we must be willing to confess every part we try to hide from God.
3. Understand that there is more than one way for a dream to happen. Maybe the dream isn’t dead – maybe the method is. Maybe you have been working, trying and striving, and God is saying, “Wait.” Maybe, this is not the right time, the right method, or the right person. The dream is alive, but the way is different.
4. Pay close attention to the other things God is doing in your life.Ten years ago, I wrote down 50 dreams I wanted to pray over and commit to God. 34 of those dreams have come to fruition. There are seven that I am still praying over. The other nine? I’ve come to understand that they are not part of God’s plan for my life.
And that is just fine with me.
When you see the other areas where God is moving and growing you, it’s easier to give up the things that no longer matter, that are no longer important. It’s so much easier to let a dream die when you have a record of all the great things He has done.
5. Make Room for God to give you a new dream.Just because the dream is dead, doesn’t mean the dreamer is. And the author of our lives? He is alive and waiting for you to take part in His amazing plan for your life.
Pray that God would give you the desires of His heart, so that when you dream, you can live bigger than even you can imagine.
Dream boldly. Great things have been accomplished because God’s people dared to dream boldly. But listen carefully. Is God doing something new in your life that you need to make room for?
What dream have you had to let die?
Many women find it easy to pray for the concerns and well-being of others. But when it comes to praying for themselves, it’s another story. If you are letting go of a dream and want to pray through your grief (which I highly recommend) Praying God’s Word for Your Life is a great tool to walk you through the experience.
In this book, I give you simple strategies that will:
· create a habit of praying with renewed boldness
· generate the desire for consistency in her prayer life
· provide proper expectations to see her prayers fulfilled in God’s ultimate plan for her life.
Want to Cozy Up Your Home to make it more inviting?
Erin and I discuss and share easy and non-fussy ways to make your home a place where people will be comfortable and want to gather together.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or perfect. In fact, people are more comfortable with the opposite!
Listen and get ideas about topics from furniture to food choices and how you can do it all without breaking the bank! Plus, we want to hear from you! What’s your favorite way to make your home cozy and inviting?
Erin MacPherson lives in Austin, Texas with her husband Cameron, her sons Joey and Will and her daughter Kate. She is the author of “The Christian Mama’s Guide Series“, a staff writer for Dun & Bradstreet and a freelancer for publications like Thriving Family Magazine, MOPS MomSense, FamilyLife Magazine, Daily Guideposts and BEMag. She blogs about her life, her kids and her faith at ChristianMamasGuide.com.
Do you experience insecurity, fear, worry, anxiety, shame, regret? These are just a few examples of cluttered emotions.
You might not know they are at the root of keeping you from living out exactly what you were called to do.
So how do we overcome cluttered emotions? Listen as I talk with speaker and author of Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life, Michele Cushatt, as she shares wisdom and simple ways to reframe what we think in order to deal with cluttered emotions.
Meet Our Guest
Michele Cushatt
A storyteller at heart, Michele Cushatt inspires audiences with the warmth of her transparency and presence. Her unique style makes you feel like you just spent an afternoon with a good friend, sparking tears one moment and laughter the next. Having experienced both the best and worst of life, she’s unafraid to disclose her imperfect spaces, so that you know you’re not alone in yours.
Pulling from her unique life experiences, Michele’s first book, a memoir titled Undone: A Story of Making Peace With An Unexpected Life, was released with Zondervan Publishers March 10, 2015. Her second book will follow closely behind, with a tentative release date in 2017. When she isn’t working on her books, Michele writes feature articles, blog posts, stories and devotional meditations for numerous publications including MOPS International, Today’s Christian Woman,InCourage, Fullfill Magazine, Hearts-at-Home, Upper Room, David C. Cook’s Quiet Hour, Standard Publishing’s Devotions, and multiple compilation books including five titles in the Chicken Soupseries.
This post was previously posted two days before Mother’s Day last year. Here it is again to give you an early start!
How to Have a Great Mother’s Day
I’ve seen a huge number of articles on surviving Mother’s Day. All well-intentioned, but they just all came too late- the Friday before Mother’s Day is not enough time to put healthy thinking and guidelines into place.
But a month? A month I can work with.
So I’m putting a note on my calendar for April 10th to remind myself to read this article, and put a plan into place to make sure I’m well-taken care of for Mother’s day. It all some down to having a plan in place. Here are my three steps:
1. Plan Something
If you do not belong to a “planning family” (in other words, your kids are too young, or too unaware to plan anything, and this isn’t your husband’s strong suit,) make sure you plan something
yourself – whether it’s for yourself or your own mom, mother-in-law, or stepmom. There is nothing worse than sitting around on Mother’s Day, scrolling through your Facebook wall, looking at all the posts of well wishes from adoring husbands and cute kids.
Plan something and get off of Facebook. On Mother’s Day, Facebook is not your friend.
Get out of the house. go to the movies. Go on a hike (far enough away that you are out of cell range.) Go out with a friend, go out with your husband.
We celebrated on Friday night – which was great. We had most of our kids there, we had kabobs, it was lovely. But Sunday? Let’s just say I should have planned a hike. Next year – I’ll know better.
2. Order something.
Whether it’s flowers or a great book from Amazon, have a package ready to be ripped into for Mother’s Day, even if it’s for yourself. We ordered Shari’s Berries this year and boy – everyone was glad we did. We had more fun with strawberry pic with everyone (and they were so delish. I may have eaten more than my fair share. But it’s Mother’s Day.) I’m placing an order for next year. These turned our time together into a celebration.
3. Ask Something
Not every gift needs to be a surprise. Ask your kids to do something they are talented at to contribute to your celebration. My boys bought gifts (Jer can always be relied on to bring flowers, and Justen always shows up with a book he knows I’ll love,) but the girls contributed talents – Kimber made the cake, and Amanda did henna tattoos for each of us. Utterly unique, utterly special. Make your special request far in advance. Your child will be flattered you asked, and you’ll get to brag on your kiddos.
Be intentional. No one wants a martyr mom on Mother’s Day. Be sure to celebrate you.
This Spring I’ll be hanging out with over 6,000 moms from 40 states at the National Hearts at Home conference in Peoria, Illinois! It is the premier event for moms and I’d love for you to join the fun!
Women come to Hearts at Home conferences from all over the United States.
In addition to the fabulous keynote sessions by Duck Dynasty’s Missy Robertson and Hearts at Home founder, Jill Savage, there are dozens of workshops offered to design your day to meet your needs as a mom.
No matter if your kids are 2, 22, or 42, Hearts at Home is for YOU!
If you like a good deal, you’ll want to register by April 4 so you can save $30 on your registration for the National Conference!
It’s gonna be a blast! I’d love to meet you at Hearts at Home!
Today I wanted to tell you about a new program from a good friend Shari Braendel. You may remember her from the podcast this past summer when we discussed your biggest fashion questions.
She has just launched a new resource for women who are looking to combine their passion for fashion to reach others for Jesus – the Christian Image Consultant Online Academy by Shari Braendel of Fashion Meets Faith!
The Christian Image Consultant Online Academy is a members-based online community for women who are feeling the call on their lives to share the love of Christ through the message of inner and outer beauty.
The Academy will give you the opportunity to be trained by the #1 Christian fashion consultant in the world, learn all the tips and tricks to enhancing the appearance of your God-given body, and teach you how to share that message with others – whether through event speaking, personal shopping, image consulting – or any avenue that you can dream of!
I am so enthusiastic about what the Christian Image Consultant Online Academy has to offer that I wanted to share it with you.
I’m sure you’ll find Shari’s Christian Image Consultant Online Academy to be an incredible resource and an amazing new adventure in your walk with the Lord! Check out her video with more information.
In the spirit of full disclosure, this is an affiliate link, which means that I will receive a commission if you decide to purchase the Christian Image Consultant Online Academy. I only recommend products & systems that I trust, so I know you’ll be in good hands!
We all face challenges to get our Quiet Time in each day and we feel un-Christian that we struggle in this area, but what if we could set ourselves up for success ahead of time? What if the key was to declutter a quiet time space so it was an inviting place to go to each day already prepared with the tools we need?
Creating a routine is so important because when you do that you are telling your brain, your heart, your mind, your body it’s time to settle and focus on my quiet time. It’s time to focus on the Bible, scripture, and prayer time.
In this episode, I talk with Erin about the essentials I need to make Quiet Time a daily habit. You can download the Essential Quiet Time Checklist for Success below and be on your way as well!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being on Kathi’s ministry team, it’s that a clutter free life is the way to go! To be honest, I’ve learned a lot more than just one thing, but that’s got to be the most important concept I’ve learned. When your life is free of clutter, you can become a world changer.
In 2015, I kicked a lot of clutter out of my house and my life and as a result became much freer. I applied Kathi’s principles and increased my business and even got up the courage to become an Indie author, self-publishing five of my Christian romances.
There are many things that are important to me, including the Lord, my family, friends, my church and my clients. I support Stop Hunger Now through my church because I can’t stand to think of people going hungry, and Compassion International because I love to see children being educated and their families being released from the cycle of poverty. That’s a carryover from my homeschooling days.
As a writer and entrepreneur, I work hard and when I’m able to take a vacation, I believe the only way to relax is in clutter free style. Our vacation in 2015 came two weeks after our son’s wedding, the wedding which jumpstarted our empty nest. I was ready to sit back, relax, read some books, work on my upcoming novel…and eat some ice cream. And that’s what I did!
We visited Cedar Key, Florida, the setting of my fifth book, Secrets Among the Cedars. Cedar Key is on the Gulf coast of Florida, down below the Suwannee River. It’s not your typical beach resort. It’s a nature coast with scrubby pines and marshes, lots of dolphins, and the most gorgeous sunsets you will ever see. Only about 700 people live there and everyone you meet is super friendly. It’s a great place to declutter your mind and your schedule.
In Secrets Among the Cedars, my heroine, Kathryn, is in Cedar Key to search for a murder weapon, but she doesn’t forget to eat plenty of the ice cream found in one of the local waterfront shops. Salted caramel turned out to be her favorite and it turned out to be mine too.
With warm weather approaching, I’m going to have to take a break from my 95% no sugar diet and indulge in some more of that great ice cream. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it back to Cedar Key this year or not, so I went searching for some homemade recipes. I pinned a few yummy looking ones to my Pinterest board and I found a super simple one at the Girl in the Kitchen blog. I hope you’ll join me in making some!
I’m giving away one print copy of Secrets Among the Cedars! Please leave a comment below telling me where your favorite place is to vacation and what your favorite treat is to eat when you’re there. Must have at least ten people to constitute the giveaway. Continental U.S. residents only. Winner will be chosen Friday, April 8th.
Here’s the back cover blurb:
Some secrets are better left buried…or are they?
Kathryn Bellamy is the Assistant D.A. for Perkins County, Georgia. After detectives fail to retrieve a missing murder weapon, she travels to Cedar Key, Florida to find it herself. She finds more than she ever bargained for when she meets Phil Tagliaferro, a former defense attorney.
Phil is drawn to help Kathryn when he learns she’s receiving threats—until he finds out their pasts are connected and his association with her could mean death for them both. Kathryn won’t leave Cedar Key until she has unearthed the secrets…and the murder weapon, but she can’t do that without Phil.
Secrets Among the Cedarsbrings two people from opposite sides of a case together with one goal in mind: Justice. What else will they find in the process?
Secrets Among the Cedars is available on Amazon in print and ebook!
Sherri Wilson Johnson writes Inspirational Historical Romance and Contemporary Romantic Suspense, and she’s a speaker and virtual assistant to authors and speakers. She lives in Georgia with her husband and her Chihuahua, Posey, and they are empty-nesters. Sherri loves spending time with family, vacationing at the beach, curling up with a good book and working on her current work-in-progress.
Can we learn lessons about business from watching TV? We can when it’s The Profit with Marcus Lemonis!
This episode is a special roundtable discussion with guests author Cheri Gregory, husband and ministry supporter Roger Lipp, and literary agent Rachelle Gardner.
Listen and learn why each person likes the show, which episodes are their favorites, and what big lessons they have learned to apply to their own business and life.
Cheri Gregory-Author and Speaker
Roger Lipp-Clutter Free Academy
Rachelle Gardner-Literary Agent and Writing Coach
What we can learn about our business and our lives from the TV show The Profit with Marcus Lemonis.
Why each guest enjoys the show
Roger: I love how Marcus handles one specific business a week and goes into details of what they are doing and follows a step-by-step process on how they can make things better.
Cheri: I like how Marcus deals with people just like we have to deal with in our areas of life.
Rachelle: It speaks to my business heart on so many levels. Everything he talks to people about can be used by anyone who is running any kind of business.
Favorite Episodes
Rachelle: Sweet Pete’s S2, Ep6Peter and Allison Behringer are candy makers who run a small business, Sweet Pete’s, in Jacksonville, Florida.
Cheri: Tonnie’s MinisS3, Ep3Desperate to keep his cupcake shop going, Tonnie Rozier has burned through his wife’s retirement fund.
The importance of having someone protect us from ourselves.
Roger: Sweet Pete’s S2,Ep6 but also Grafton FurnitureS3, Ep6A father’s resistance to change is ruining his family furniture business–and wrecking his relationship with his son.
Multi-generation businesses training up the new generation with passion.
Lessons Learned
Rachelle:Don’t get caught up in our own ego which can lead to bad decisions. Being able to be more direct and have more courage in communication.
Kathi:Feeling empowered to ask for what I need. End things well.
Cheri:What is core to my ministry or is it an extra interest that is distracting me? If relationships aren’t right, then it’s going to destroy the business. Deal with issues as they come up instead of waiting.
Roger:Know your numbers. If you don’t know the details, you don’t really know what’s going on.
Meet Our Guest
Rachelle Gardner
Rachelle Gardner is an agent with Books and Such Literary Agency, representing both fiction and non-fiction. She’s looking for mainstream commercial projects for both the Christian and general markets. Non-fiction authors must have a book proposal and three sample chapters to be considered. She’s also seeking all kinds of fiction, and authors must have a completed manuscript to be considered.
According to US Small Business Association, over half of all businesses are based out of the owner’s home. However, not all of those businesses are healthy, life-giving enterprises. What does it take to build a healthy home-based business? Give yourself a check-up with these 7 Vital Signs of a Healthy Home-Based Business:
1. Values
What is my ‘Why’?
Does it connect to one of my passions?
How would it effect me if I could no longer do this work?
How does my work make me feel?
Am I frustrated or fulfilled by my work?
2. Goals
Do I have both long-term and short-term goals?
Are they written down and placed where I see them often?
Do I make big goals or easily attainable goals?
Do I use my goals as filters for my decisions?
3. Workflow
In my line of work, what does success look like?
What is my process from the beginning to the identified success?
Am I flexible and willing to change the way I do things?
Are there areas in which I could be more efficient?
4. Finances
Do I have a business plan and budget?
Do I follow said budget?
Am I paying bills and filing taxes on time?
Do I need outside help with financial issues?
Am I using credit responsibly?
5. Clientele
Are my clients pleased with my products and/or services?
Do clients refer me to others?
Do I have a way for clients to evaluate my work?
Where can I improve my process or product to make sure that my client is completely satisfied with the work I do?
6. Family
How does my work contribute to family life?
How is my work a detriment to family life?
Do I need to ease up on what I commit to?
What are my kids learning through my work?
How can I involve them more?
How does my spouse or significant other feel about my work?
Does my work drain me or energize me to be with my family?
7. Development
What are my top strengths?
What is my strategy for investing in my own professional growth?
Where can I find resources that will help me grow?
What conference might I attend this year?
What book(s) might help me take my work to the next level?
Am I willing to network?
Am I willing to be coached on maximizing my strengths and working around my weaknesses?
Make a quarterly appointment with yourself to run though this check-up!
What other “vital signs” of a healthy home-based business would you add?
Many women find it easy to pray for the concerns and well-being of others. But when it comes to praying for themselves, it’s another story. If you are letting go of a dream and want to pray through your grief (which I highly recommend) Praying God’s Word for Your Life is a great tool to walk you through the experience.
Some secrets are better left buried…or are they?
