How to Avoid Distractions and Live Out Your God-Given Purpose
When it comes down to it, clutter is a distraction.
As I walk around my house, trying to get ready to host a group of five of my favorite women for three days, I can feel annoyance with myself starting to rise.
Here are some thoughts that come to mind:
“Why do I have all these half-done projects lying around?”
“Why didn’t I finish unloading the dishwasher? Now I have to unload it before I load it.” (Because the dryer buzzer had gone off.)
“Why did I leave the pile of bills on the table instead of paying them?” (I wasn’t sure where the money was going to come from for an unexpected auto repair.)
“I wish I could finish half of what I start. Why is my normally mostly-put-together home suddenly way more out of control than normal?”
And then I think about my past week:
- One of our grown children is in a career crisis.
- Our contractor is two months behind on completing our renovation.
- I’m stuck on a part of the book I’m writing and can’t seem to focus.
- My husband is going through some significant health issues.
Clutter was only a symptom of a distracted mind.
When my heart is heavy, sad, or frustrated, my go-to move is to either let distractions take over my life, or to create distraction so I don’t have to pay attention to painful things.
In their new book, Shiny Things, Amanda Bacon and Anne-Renee Gumley talk about the areas of distraction—not when it comes to our homes, but to our families.
Moms have particular challenges regarding distractions when raising their children. When my kids were small, I remember being pulled in so many different directions. I didn’t always know what my priorities should be.
So as a mom, how do you focus on the important things?
Stop being a slave to your schedule.
Just because someone asks you do to something, doesn’t mean it has earned the right to be on your calendar. Learn to value your time like never before. When I was single, my only obligation was to myself. But when I became a mom, for some reason, I thought I should be able to do everything I had done before and still be able to raise tiny humans.
Understand your limitations.
I know when I’m over-tired, I self-distract with food and stupid TV. There is nothing wrong with watching the “Holiday Armadillo” episode of Friends (again), but when I know I’m using it as distraction because I’ve stayed up too late (again), it’s time to realize I can’t run with the same energy that I could if I didn’t have kids.
Find meaning in what matters.
When I’m neck deep in distraction, oftentimes it’s because I’m looking for “hits”—something that gets me approval from outside sources. When that happens, I realize I’m at a stage in marriage or parenting that’s hard, where the rewards are few. I feel not only unappreciated, but downright unlovable.
In those situations, it’s important to remind myself:
- This is a season.
- I’m doing hard work that does not have immediate rewards.
- God sees my efforts, even when no one else does.
We’re all prone to chase shiny things, whatever that looks like in each stage of life.
Recognizing the reasons we are drawn to distractions helps us to focus on the purpose God created us for, especially as parents. Then we can give the best of ourselves to what matters most — loving God and our families.
Giveaway!
The generous people over at Harvest House want to give our readers Amanda Bacon and Anne-Renee Gumley’s book, Shiny Things. Five people will win a copy and 1 grand prize winner will receive:
- A copy ofShiny Things
- Rustic Felt Letter Board 10×10
- A Notebook Journal
- 18 Colored Felt Pens
Enter to win by commenting below. Are distractions keeping you from your highest priority? What shiny things are distracting you right now?
Struggle is real, no matter how much I try sometimes, I get pulled. A much needed message!!
I myself am pulled in several directions. As a wife, a mother and a grandmother. Trying to help everyone is killing me. It makes me feel like I fail everyone ?. This post is very helpful. Knowing we are not alone in the struggle. Giving us some courage and guidance on what to do. Thank you ?
I myself am pulled in several directions. As a wife, a mother and a grandmother. Trying to help everyone is killing me. It makes me feel like I fail everyone ?. This post is very helpful. Knowing we are not alone in the struggle. Giving us some courage and guidance on what to do. Thank you ?
Love this! I am distracted by to do list and “popcorn” issues that pop up during the day. What a great resource in this book!
Recognizing the “shiney things” can be tricky. Sometimes you are doing outreach to the community or delving into personal hobbies and feel like it’s personal growth or civic duties but can take a lot of energies from your day to day.
When I feel overwhelmed by too many things to do, I can actually distract myself by giving attention to something else that isn’t even a priority, but seems interesting and “shiny”.
The phone and computer are big distractions. And I do still think that I can do everything, even with 3 kids to take care of. It is hard to accept.
Getting lost into the rabbit hole that is social media. Or sometimes just picking up my phone and playing a few apps…next thing I know, I have wasted an hour. Looking for something on Amazon, and the next thing I know, another hour has gone by.
Distractions do often keep me away from what should be my biggest priorities. The shiny things that seem to distract me most are social media and busyness.
There are most definitely things that pull me away from priorities. Stuff and clutter in life, both physical and in my mind. I need to find that balance and focus.
Shiny things is the best way to describe distractions! Anything more enticing than what I need to do. I get distracted by my phone, and other things that take less time. If its a nice day, I often chose to work outside on things instead of de-cluttering. If I don’t have a lot of time, it’s harder stay focused enough to even attempt a task that I think may turn into a bigger project.
I am a stay at home mom of three young kids and I feel like social media and my phone tempt me to withdraw during the tedious parts of the day. I think it is an attempt to escape from all the mental clutter that motherhood brings. I LOVED are you part of the podcast that talked about reminding your children that mommy is a person and not a robot! Very encouraging and motivating!
This is so my life right now. So much going on, and it seems like the more clutter I get rid of the more I find. I cant wait to read her book!
Congratulations! You are one of our winners. Please check your email for more info. -Kathi Lipp Giveaway Team
Wow! This explains a lot! I would love a copy of this book. Just what I need in my life. Looking for “hits” with recognition in a season where recognition just doesn’t happen! Ahhh. Sounds like the reason for social media addictions!
Yes! I am seriously all over the place these days. My distractions are starting to get in the way of my self care even. I went to get a pedicure at 8pm at night because it was the only time I could. I was so distracted by my to do list and crossing stuff off and adding stuff on that the nail lady noticed I was tense and firmly said “Honey you need to put phone down and enjoy you life…next time you bring a book”. I was embarrassed and kinda annoyed but then I thought gosh how distracted am I that I couldn’t even enjoy a simple pedicure.
Trying to keep all the plates spinning is difficult. Disappointing others because you say no or decline an invitation isn’t fun. Eliminating Facebook has helped with distraction. This sounds like a great read.
Congratulations! You are one of our winners. Please check your email for more info. -Kathi Lipp Giveaway Team
Sometimes I let myself to be distracted because my life is very overwhelming right now. I know I could be more productive but I’m worn from the emotional toll my life is taking on me. I tend to watch TV when I should be doing something constructive but I just need to rest my brain.
My job is very exhausting and requires perfection. Clients depend on my speedy, completion of tasks as time is money. My boss is a task maniac although he seems to enjoy making last minute changes or instructions.
Husband is a pastor and still works another fulltime job and we are preparing to move to the parsonage, so we are consumed with preparing to purge and move! I find great joy and distraction with your books and podcasts!
My short texts to family and friends is my highlight, along with enjoying a little Facebook, some bible study and HGTV! That is my shiney, or joy filled moments of the day!
I seem to be distracted by my job–ways I can do better, move ahead, etc.–instead of being focused on my family. Since I only work 12 hours per week, one would think my family could easily be the focus. Ahem. Time for some priority prioritizing. 🙂
Social media is a rabbit hole. Doing some redecorating and I start looking for something on Buy Sell Trade Facebook and an hour later, I have wasted time looking at other peoples junk. Don’t know if this saves money because I haven’t found what I am looking for but i am amazed at what others are selling. Would be a better use of my time to save some more money and shop for quality pieces that will last forever (looking for a top grain leather sofa)
A place to make a grandkid area… I need to clean the area, too many toys already, books and more books and then any of the “stuff” that is in the space I want to claim I need to clean and then where do I put that stuff and then I just get stuck.
We were going through some hard times with our daughter and that was my distraction. Instead of turning it over to God, I just worried all the time. Then my mind wasn’t focused. I would have 10 different things going at one time. (My friend says I have too many tabs open.) I would start loading the dishwasher and get half way through and see that the counter needed cleaned off which led to paying a couple bills online which led to checking my email which led to answering emails and getting distracted. I went to start dinner and the dishwasher was standing wide open and only half filled! Worry is my distraction. This weekend, I surrendered it to the Lord and my energy and focus has returned! He is good.
Congratulations! You are one of our winners. Please check your email for more info. -Kathi Lipp Giveaway Team
Facebook is the biggest distraction for me. ?
Congratulations! You are one of our winners. Please check your email for more info. -Kathi Lipp Giveaway Team
This book looks great. Social media is definitely a distraction for me!
I could have written the first part of your post (the distractions part) myself. But I didn’t because I was too distracted. A recent move that still isn’t unpacked, hubby’s health, new proximity to grandkids all combine to keep me off balance these days. But little by little, it will happen. Praying for Roger. Hope all is well.
My email pile is a constant distraction
My husbands health issues are a distraction for me as well. Pray Roger’s issues get better quickly.
I am trying really HARD to weed out the clutter, but am distracted easily. In my efforts to discard/donate, I find things that I haven’t seen in years! This distracts me because I want to stop and look at every little thing. Also, more importantly, I have lost seven family members in a short time, and when I find something that reminds me of them, I have to stop and enjoy the memories, and yes, cry sometimes. Thank you so much for your encouragement and love!
Perfect reminders! Exactly what I needed to hear today.
I am a pastor’s wife. Need I say more? Distractions come along quite often. Some cannot be ignored but others don’t need to put on my calendar. But why do I? That is what I need to figure out. It’s getting better as I get older and my children are grown but… I see my daughter and daughter-in-law and pray that they will see the time spent with their children (my grandchildren!) will be gone before they know it, to cherish each moment with them and not let the distractions, whatever kind they are, intrude. Shiny things will always be out there, we need to learn how to deal with them. Thanks for the help.
I would say my shiny things are fun events or activities to take my kids to. I tend to fill the schedule and don’t leave room for rest or time to get chores done.
Yes, I allow distractions to frustrate me and steal my peace.
I need to recognize what the cause is so i can draw closer to my Lord.
I needed to hear this. I’m a newly empty nester and been trying to figure out why my clutter has gotten worse instead of better. This really encouraged me to get refocused and get back on track with my clutter free in 2019
Ironically, i get distracted by emails, articles, blogs, etc…. which is how i came upon this one! But, part of my brain is always looking for a more efficient way to do things!
I enjoying doing…but the doing never stops. There is always just one more thing I can clean or tackle. I realize with all that doing that I miss out on time with people. The most important people in my life, my 3 kids, don’t care how many lists I’ve created and tackled. There will always be another shiny to do list on Pinterest. I have to be willing to just say no.
Shiny things for me are books and taking “reading breaks” because they are escapes from the everyday mundane tasks I should be doing
AGREE! GREAT POST! My shiny things are usually some sort of renovation project I’m engrossed in at the time. Picking “the perfect light or paint color”, as if that even existed! I get so annoyed with myself, as other things pile up around me, like the clutter that need to be dealt with!
Thanks for phrasing it all in the way you have. Absolutely spot on!
Wow, what a great post! Distractions are definitely keeping me from my highest priority! I was doing an ok job of prioritizing, but then I unexpected found out I was pregnant, and the overwhelm of that mixed with morning sickness had me ignoring everything but the necessities for months. Add to that caring for and homeschooling my 3 other children! I’m in a hard season of life with few rewards. I’m trying to dig myself out of a hole from that early pregnancy time, but I’m finding the clutter is definitely a symptom of my mind.
And at the end of the day when I’m overwhelmed by what still needs to be done, I’m physically and mentally exhausted and choose to sit and watch TV as a distraction. Finding a balance of resting when I need to, but not letting things distract me is so tough!
This is the third time in 24 hours that I have heard this same message! I want to say Thank You Kathi, and “Ok God, I’m listening!” As a mom of 10 kids, many of them in the teenage years, parenting sometimes feels full of conflict, hard conversations and a lot of emotional work. Don’t get me wrong I love these years, but sometimes I get battle weary.This was a great reminder to press through the challenging seasons of life, and remember this is only a season. With 7 teenagers or young adults that can be challenging!
Thanks for today’s post Kathy.
I’ve been working out of our home for 20+ years, and find that my distractions come from viewing each day as a blank canvas. I squeeze in my “mandatory” chores in while keeping my eye on 1 activity I’m really looking forward to in that day.
Of course I get distracted by a text or call. However, I learnt long ago from an elderly aunt that somedays are just going to go sideways, so pray for balance, and give yourself some grace!
Remembering I’m a work in progress allows me to walk through the days as a daughter of the Most High.
Exhaling, and trusting.
This is a huge area that I need growth in! Mainly with the computer/electronics. I sit down in the mornings to do my Bible study then take care of a few details (emails, scheduling, ordering things) and next thing I know I have spent 1-2 hours in front of a computer getting all the “necessary” things done. I need help determining how to put aside what may seem necessary for me to do or manage to focus on the important. I am tired of finding I have run out of time each day to make meaningful connections because I got caught up in all the things I feel like I have to do as a mother.
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Yes, everyday! Half done projects, laundry, dinner (Easter candy), & scary unknown things that I don’t know if I can do.
Every day! Easy to go down the rabbit hole – even when looking for a recipe online, I find that it often leads to a blog post, a Pinterest page, etc. I also stress eat as a distraction. This is spring break and I am excited about quality time with my family but we also have a list of spring cleaning to do – hoping we can balance without distraction!
All of our five children and their spouses (and one grandchild) live close to us. This is a huge blessing, but sometimes “Me time “ is a distraction—thinking I don’t have enough of my own time or wanting to do what I want to do instead of putting our relationships with each other in priority. Sometimes I think I don’t have time for something, but then I realize how quickly I can use up valuable time on my phone or computer.
Thanks for this timely blog. Satan sometimes keeps us busy, so we can’t focus on God and what truly matters. I tend to binge watch TV and YouTube videos when I’m tired and worried.
Yes, many distractions keep me from my priorities. Worrying about my adult daughter, using my computer/tablet/phone and watching t.v. are the items that keep me distracted and easily avoid my priorities.
Yes, distractions are keeping me from my highest priorities – from my time with God and raising my 4 kiddos and always loving my husband well. I love the analogy of Shiny Things! I definitely get distracted by shiny things – some days simply because it is easier to get distracted than deal with life. My biggest distractions (or shiny things) are my phone and projects. I’ve removed social media from my life, but there are always games, emails, online shopping that can easily distract me and steal time from the things that truly matter.
Yes! As much as I tease that my son is easily distracted, I’m the same way. Shiny things – this book title is right on. Just listened to the podcast. I love that these girls emphasize meeting our first priorities and staying true to what God has called us to.
Congratulations! You are one of our winners. Please check your email for more info. -Kathi Lipp Giveaway Team