by kathilipp | Nov 4, 2012 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Relationships, Uncategorized |
Day 1: Connecting with Your Kid’s Personality
I know my kids pretty well. I know that Kimberly could spend all day watching Gilmore girls while Justen would rather die than see one episode. I know that both of my kids are into Steampunk (which, when it comes to literary genres is about as far as you can get from me and my women’s fiction). I know that Justen has an affinity for numbers (the kid can remember my car’s license number off the top of his head) and I know that for some reason unbeknownst to me, both of my kids have a soft spot for our mean, cranky cat Zorro who no one else seems to like.
But, I don’t know anything about your kids. I don’t know what makes them literally squeal with excitement. What quirks they have. Or what they’d do tonight if they were given $20, ten gallons of gas and a chauffeur to drive them anywhere they wanted.
And, you’re probably wondering how I can help you to connect with your kids if I don’t know them.
I thought of that, too, and I have a plan. My friend and personality expert, Cheri Gregory has created a simple questionnaire that will help you to determine your kid’s personality type.
So, to get started, answer the questions below about your child on this simple quiz at: Discover Your Child’s Personality Type
by kathilipp | Oct 30, 2012 | Christmas, Home, The "What's for dinner?" Project |
I know – we aren’t even past Halloween yet. (I’m as bad as Target and Macy’s…) But hear me out. I want you to me the least stressed hostess on the block. I want you to give thanks that a bunch of this stuff is already done. I want you to enjoy that piece of pumpkin pie instead of kicking yourself for not having all the ingredients.
- Make a Menu I know it seems obvious, but once you write down everything you’re having, you can start to divide, conquer, and shop.
- Invite Others to Cook I think that one of the big ways that young hostesses go wrong is that they want to do everything themselves. But, if you are inviting other people over, they will feel better being able to contribute (with the possible exception of your younger, single brother…) No one wants to feel guilty because you’re stressed out by having too many things to do. Plus, you’re going to need all your precious oven/fridge space. You will be so grateful that you sister brought the pies (and you could always ask that younger brother to bring extra ice.)
- Gather Up Your Recipes I hate it when I can’t find the recipe the day of. So don’t wait. Gather up all those family favorites into one place. (I even transferred them all onto my computer so I can just search for “Thanksgiving Recipes” and they are all there. I also keep copies in my Holiday Binder so they are safe and sound.
- Create Your Shopping List This is not only a stress saver, it’s a money saver as well. You can buy your non-perishables and frozen turkey when they hit rock bottom prices, and spread the money hit over several weeks.
- Wash Your Linens “Linens” sounds so formal – like you’re going to be getting out the while lace tablecloth and matching napkins. Round these parts, it’s the fall colored table cloth, the funky yellow, orange and purple napkins, and some cute theme-appropriate dish towels. I just want to give them a wash and make sure they’re not too wrinkled.
- Clean Out Your Fridge and pantry, if it needs it. You’re going to be storing some extra food for the next several weeks. Time to recycle those boxes of cereal that no one will eat.
- Give Your Guest Bathroom a Once Over This is the room that I ignore until actual company is coming. Make sure you have fresh towels, soap, working light bulbs, a scented candle (or some room freshener if there are little kids) and a large stock of TP. Your guests will thank you.
- Get Some Leftover Containers Even if they’re just Chinese take out containers, you will be so happy when you can send the leftovers home with all your guests. (Of course reserving enough for your own Turkey, Cranberry, Stuffing Sandwich for Friday.) And that way you won’t be sending your Tupperware off with people and looking at them with judgement when they don’t return it in a timely manner…
- Case Your Neighbor’s House If you have a neighbor who will be traveling over the holiday, see if you can borrow their oven and some fridge space. (Leave them a plate of cookies as a thank you!)
- Cook Five Things Ahead Look at your menu and see what can be done ahead of time. Here are some ideas of things to be prepped in advance:
- Make cookie dough ahead of time and freeze
- Make casseroles ahead of time, then freeze before cooking
- Cheeseballs can be made in advance and frozen
- Brew iced tea
- Prep pies the day before and bake the day of
So tell me your best trick for making your holiday a less-stress situation.
by kathilipp | Oct 29, 2012 | Relationships, The Husband Project |
Thanks for visiting (And even if you’re not here from Time Warp Wife, there are still free goodies for you! So keep reading!)
Let me give you the lay of the land. Just like at Time Warp Wife, we are all about the husband love. We show that in a variety of ways: but food and prayer seem to work around these parts. Here are a couple of resources to make that easier:
To Feed His Stomach
If you want twenty of my family favorite ready for the freezer recipes, check out my Facebook Page and download the free ebook: Six Chicks Freeze and Fix – How to Start a Freezer Meal Co-op (look at the “Tabs” at the top of the page.)
Sign up for my newsletter (filled with great tips about keeping your life in order!) and you will receive my free ebook THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MAN FOOD filled with great recipes to keep that man in your life extra happy.
To Feed Your Soul
For Setting Up a Quiet Time Routine and Praying Scripture When Your Husband is Overwhelmed Downloads, check out my book page for Praying God’s Word for Your Husband.
And for my faithful readers, here is a new resource from my new friend Time Warp Wife: Just about the cutest Prayer Cards you have ever seen. Yes- she is giving away this free download to all my readers (and while you’re on her site, you can go ahead and just sign up for her blog. You’ll thank me later.
Enjoy the swag. We’re happy to have you as part of the family.
by kathilipp | Oct 28, 2012 | Relationships, The Husband Project |
Dear Friend,
This is really, really hard for me to do, but I have to tell you why I can’t hang out with you anymore.
I get that marriage is hard. I do. I’ve fought with my husband (remember, when we got married, we had four teenagers, so we had plenty to “discuss” those first years of marriage,) disagreed with him, and sometimes (OK, many times) not been the wife I needed to be.
But here’s the thing: I want to do better. I want to be the wife that my husband needs. I want to speak well of him and to him. I want to improve, a little bit, everyday.
And when I’m around you, it’s hard. I feel like, because you are throwing your husband under the bus, you want me to throw my husband right under there as well.
I will not have the kinds of conversations that make men the butt of the joke, because not only am I married to a man, but I have two boys I want to respect as men as well.
I will not agree with how awful your husband is because I don’t know his side of the story.
I will not laugh at TV or movies that feature the guys as “Doofus Dads”.
I will not let you bait me into bashing husbands, yours or mine.
I’m sorry if this seems like a unexpected change up – like I’m changing to rules of our relationship. But that uncomfortable laugh that I make when you put down your husband? Gone. From now on, I’m speaking up. It’s not OK to talk about any man like that in my presence. Ever.
Now don’t get me wrong. If you want me to pray for the tough time you’re going through, if you want to cry on my shoulder and have me recommend books on how you can improve your relationship, I will bring the coffee, milk chocolate and password to my Amazon account. I am there for you friend.
But if you only want to complain, and not let God make a miracle out of your marriage, I need to step away. Because I need to be with women who support the men in their life. I want to surround myself with women who are not perfect wives, but will inspire me to be the wife that follows God and blesses her husband out of the overflow of that relationship with God.
So if you want to be that kind of girl – come on over to my house.
But if not, I’m going to need to bow out. I know that God wants more for you than what you have now. I’ll be here when you want that cup of coffee.
by kathilipp | Oct 23, 2012 | Me |
I’ve packed and repacked my same black suitcase about five times. Usually, packing is a snap for me (I go on about fifty trips a year, so if I don’t want to dedicate a large portion of my free time to packing. a girl learns to keep it simple.)
I would like to take an outfit for each day, and a backup after I see what everyone else is wearing, just to make sure I fit in.
I have (so far) resisted an “emergency” trip to Macy’s hoping to find the right outfit to make sure I fit in.
But as you may suspect, this goes a little deeper than wardrobe issues.
Tomorrow I board a plane to go to “The Hip Conference”. Really cool, deep, spiritual girls are getting together to teach each other – and learn from each other – how to talk about Jesus better. And normally, I would be really excited. Except I’m “The New Girl”.
I’ve never been to this conference, and I’ve let my brain run amok.
In my mind:
- These women all know each other and are best friends waiting for their once a year reunion
- It will be like a scene from “Mean Girls” and no one will sit with me at lunch
- They will mock me behind my back for my pathetic attempts to fit in
Obviously, I’ve watched too many commercials for Gossip Girl.
And this doesn’t just happen for conferences. No – I feel it all the time.
- At a new Bible Study
- Visiting a new church
- Going to a new hair dresser
- When my kids went to a new school
- Hanging out with my husband’s co-workers
People assume since I’m an extrovert that I LOVE diving into situations like this. No. Not at all. All the weirdness and fear pop up and I feel like the kid sister my older sister was forced to take to the movies with all of her cool friends.
I don’t write this to have you encourage me (I know, I know, they will love me once they get to know me. but thanks!) but to say if a super-extrovert like me feels this, I’m guessing that about 90% of you have some of the same feelings. So I wanted to share my plan of attack. I mean my godly plan for managing my anxiety.
Step 1 – Pray for the Event: When I take my eyes off myself and think about what the event is trying to accomplish – and then praying to that end – it gives me the perspective I need. I’m just one person, hoping to be useful, and to follow what God is telling me to do. I’m now praying for the event organizers (cause you know they might just be losing their minds right about now…) praying for the safety of those who are traveling, and praying I can get what God wants me to get out of the experience.
Step 2 – Realize I’m Not the Only New Girl: There are going to be loads of people there who are newbies. We will be the ones who look like racoons staring at an oncoming Mack Truck. I will find these people and make them my friends.
Step 3 – “My Name Is… Here to Serve” No, I’m not officially on the committee, but every single one of these conferences, God has put someone in my path that needed to be loved, encouraged, or just needed some well-timed milk chocolate. If I focus on the needs of others, God always gets around to what I need out of the conference. I’ve never left feeling “I wish I hadn’t helped that person so much. I missed ______” Nope, God’s told me to “feed His sheep”. That’s my job. He takes care of the schedule nitty-gritty.
Step 4 – Bring Things to Give Away No, not advertising for my new book. Things people want. Like that well-timed chocolate.
So tell me your coping mechanism for being the new girl. Spiritual. Practical. I want to hear it – and I want you to share it with all the other new girls.
(BTW – the word on the street is all these ladies are lovely and I’m going to have a great time. I’ll report back…)
by kathilipp | Oct 14, 2012 | Christmas, frontpage, Me, Uncategorized |
Thanks for visiting me here. If you are an imperfect mom like me, you have found a home. (Or at least a place to have a lukewarm cup of coffee.)
For those of us who know it’s better to do things as a tribe than alone (cause what’s the fun in that?) Check out my Facebook Page and download the free ebook: Six Chicks Freeze and Fix – How to Start a Freezer Meal Co-op (look at the “Tabs” at the top of the page.)
And wait – there’s more!
Sign up for my monthly newsletter (filled with great tips about keeping your life in order!) and you will receive my free ebook THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MAN FOOD filled with great recipes to keep that man in your life extra happy.
Oh, and next week we are going to work on some Shame-Free Organizing of our lives – sign up for the blog (under the 15 Minutes to a More Organized Life sign in here on the blog.)
Thanks for being a part of my ministry – here on the blog, on Facebook, and through MOPS. You are each so precious to me. I just want to squeeze your cheeks.
by kathilipp | Sep 30, 2012 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Uncategorized |
I know – it’s the worst thing a mom can admit (well that and admitting that sitting through hours of sporting events really isn’t that fun…) but there have been times in my parenting that I didn’t feel close to one of my kids.
Justen is a bright, smart, funny kid who loves history and can remember license plate numbers from over a dozen years ago. I could not love him any more if I tried.
But when it comes to natural compatibility, we are opposites – and not in a fun way. He has a much easier, more natural relationship with his dad, my ex-husband. They like to watch sports, enjoy the same kind of movies, and feel really comfortable being together.
Justen even really clicks with my husband, Roger, his stepdad.
Yep – nothing makes you feel like more of a doofus than realizing everyone has more in common with your kid than you do.
So I’ve had to spend the last few years working really hard at connecting with Justen – with mixed results – granted – but it’s so much better than it was a year ago.
Here’s what I did:
- I Paid Attention. When Justen mentions something on Facebook and I have no idea what it is, I Google it so that I have a peek into his world. I also try to pass along things that I think will make him laugh. Recently I saw this posted on a friend’s wall and shared it with him and the rest of the Trekkies in the family. I may not watch the show, but I’m learning some of the inside jokes. (If you are not a Trekkie, have one explain this to you…)
- I Prayed. It’s hard for me to remember this one truth: the best thing I can do for my child, whether we are “clicking” or not is to pray for him. I pray for Justen (and all of our other kids) every single day. It has not always been this way, and I tend to kick myself for it. But I remember that great saying, “When is the best time to have planted an oak tree? Fifty years ago. When is the second best time to plant an oak tree? Today.”
- I Talked with Other Parents. Turns out, each and every mom I’ve spoken with will, when pressed, admit that one of their kids is easier to connect with than the others. And that is OK! It doesn’t mean that we love them any less, it just means we have to work a little harder for those connections.
If you’re looking for new and easy ways to connect with your kids, whatever their age, stage or personality, check out my new book 21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids co-written with author Cheri Gregory on sale for only $9.99.
And, while I am announcing new things… I’ve just opened up my new online store. Come on over and take a look, I think you will like it! To say “thank you” for dropping by, I’m offering free shipping on all orders $15 or more.I’ll even sign it for you if you’d like. Come on over to my online store today. (Sale and free shipping on through Friday.)
by kathilipp | Sep 25, 2012 | Uncategorized |
How to be Married to a Super Awesome (!!!) Expressive Like Me
by Kathi Lipp
(Check out our guide to finding out your personality type !)
When figuring out which of the four personality types (analytic, driver, amiable, expressive) you are, most of the time you will be a combination of two or three. You can’t pigeon hole people. But pigeon – here is your hole: I am almost 100% Expressive.
And while I’m fun to have a parties, I can be somewhat of a challenge to live with.
I am the person who (after watching one half episode of something on HGTV) will take off and go buy all the paint to redecorate our bedroom, start the project, but then grow tired of it (butterfly!) and leave our room half painted for six months.
I’m all about people, not facts. So I’ll throw you an extravagant party to cheer you up after you break up with your boyfriend, without really checking to make sure we have the money in our account to buy so much at the party store.
Since being married to Roger (a self-admitted analytic), I’ve brought a huge dose of fun and excitement into his life. But there are some days when I know that he longs for the days of yore: sitting in his blue Lazy Boy chair and watching something with the word “Star” in it: Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica.
If You’re Married to an Expressive – Hints and Tips (by Kathi…)
Being Around Other People
I get pumped when I’m around other people that I find challenging, interesting and exciting. Roger, not so much. So we are fine if I go to an occasional event by myself. Let your expressive go out with friends. He will be the happier for it.
Doing vs. Chatting
Recently, I was at a business dinner and brought my computer so we could get some work done. (Trying to be on-task. Very against my nature…) The guy in our group was an Extreme Expressive. I never cracked the computer. He wanted to relate and our group was the better for it.
Starting
I love to start a project. I’m not so great at finishing. If you’re married to an Expressive, don’t kill the buzz, but help them manage it. Instead of agreeing to buying all 18 years of scrapbooks for your firstborn, encourage your Expressive to buy them one year at a time. (And she’ll probably lose interest in the first six weeks, anyway.)
Are you married to an Expressive? Are you an Expressive? Tell me what above fits your marriage, and how you’re different.
by kathilipp | Sep 16, 2012 | Uncategorized |
Roger and I were sitting around the dinner table with our next door neighbor, a recently retired teacher who has a fondness for cats and is happy to babysit our kitten while we travel. We, in exchange, make sure she has plants that are watered on a regular basis.
She is what we would call, “Low-tech”. Yes, she has a computer, but when it comes to things like Facebook, she has no need for them.
She was a little freaked out about understanding all the privacy settings and having people know where she is and what she is doing.
And I just thought to myself, “Oh you older people with your irrational paranoia… Yes, we have no privacy anymore, but that’s just the age we live in – it’s not like anyone is trying to find me…”
Not an hour later, I read this article about a disgruntled author tracking down an agent in MY HOME TOWN, at her kid’s school, and attacking her with a baseball bat.
You can be sure I’m going to double check my privacy settings – for sure.
This is not to freak anyone out, but to be a reminder to check those settings.
Tell me in the comments below how you stay safe online. We all need the reminder.
by kathilipp | Sep 11, 2012 | Relationships |
How to be Married to an Analytic
by Roger Lipp
(Check out our guide to finding out your personality type !)
For those of you who have met Kathi, it will not be much of a surprise when I tell you that she is an “expressive”.
Of the four personality types (analytic, driver, amiable, expressive) it is really obvious that she is an expressive. (You could pick that out without even diving into the details of what it really means to be an expressive. The name alone kinda gives her away…) And for those of you who have met me, you will with equal certainty be able to discern that I am not an expressive. Not even close. In fact, I am the complete and absolute opposite (remember, they do say that opposites attract). I am an analytic.
Let me digress with a word of caution: personality types are not etched in stone. Our entire personality and life journey cannot be reduced to a single word. Even though I am an analytic, I am able to express myself. And my wife is pretty good at math… especially when it comes to sales at Macy’s, but that’s a story for another time. So before I go any further, please promise me you won’t pigeon hole people… especially your spouse!
For those of you lucky enough to be married to an analytic, I have a few words of advice that may make the journey go a bit smoother.
First, take some time to understand some of the keys to their thinking. Unless you are also an analytic, your spouse probably thinks very differently than you do. In the world view of an analytic, facts and accuracy are more important than feelings and perceptions.
Kathi and I were sitting down at dinner to discuss this article. She made a statement about that she sees me more as an “amiable” than as an “analytic”. As soon as she said that my brain started objecting. I know the characteristics. I know the criteria. I’ve taken numerous tests, they 
have all pointed to the same conclusion. I am an analytic. And of course because I’m an analytic, I needed to set the record straight.
I interrupted Kathi (wisdom is obviously not high on my list of qualities) and let her know that she was mistaken: I am an analytic.
At this point, you can see that the stage is set. The players are all in place. The plot has been developed. We can all imagine what could happen next. Rebuke. Response. Retaliate. Repeat. We’ve all been there.
Fortunately, Kathi has learned a few things about my personality that helps keep this from spiraling out of control. She has learned that facts and accuracy are important to me. So she acknowledges the fact that I am in fact an analytic, and then goes on to explain why she sees me more as an “amiable”.(I try to keep the peace in family situations, I like to just “hang” with people – I don’t necessarily need to be getting things done while we’re hanging out. All traits of the “Amiable” personality – which I also have some of.)
Just that simple acknowledgement of the facts was enough to satisfy my internal need for accuracy. With that need satisfied I was able to engage in the rest of the conversation and learned that what she was really saying is: you’re a great guy and I love you. A point that I really appreciate letting sink in every now and then. Glad I didn’t miss it.
Roger
If You’re Married to an Analytic – Hints and Tips (by Kathi…)
Being Around Other People
Roger renews his energy by being alone or just hanging out with me or our kids. It take a lot of energy for him to be “on” for other people. I needed to learn that it was OK for me not to include him in everything. He’s fine with me going out to lunch with a friend on my own. In fact, many times he would prefer it.
When I travel, every once in a while I will stay with a friend that I know so we can catch up on life. This doesn’t work for Roger. He needs to have privacy and quiet. His ultimate nightmare? Spending the night in a stranger’s home. When we are traveling together, I need to let groups know that we need a hotel. It’s nothing personal – but I want to honor my husband.
Doing vs. Chatting
Roger wants to know what his “job” is at all times. When we have people over for dinner, I’m in charge of the chatting, Roger’s in charge of the BBQing, and that’s how we like it. Don’t get me wrong – if you come over to our house for dinner, Roger wants talk with you – he just wants to do it with some grilling tongs in his hands.
His Way or the Wrong Way
So there is the Roger Way doing things, and there is the wrong way of doing things. He’s not obnoxious about it, but he’s great at analyzing the cheaper, better, faster way of doing things, getting places, and buying stuff and in the long run, his analysis of the situation usually works to my benefit. (We find that sale on vacuum cleaners, or he finds us the best reviewed cafe in a town we’re visiting, or we get to our event six minutes faster than if I had been driving.) I make sure that when he has a strong opinion, I honor that to the best of my ability. (In other words, I pick which hills I want to die on…) He can and will change his mind, but it’s best if you have your facts lined up before you try to sway him.
Are you married to an Analytic? Are you an Analytic? Tell me what above fits your marriage, and how you’re different.
