634 &#8211; Time-Saving Strategies for Busy Cooks:

What are your go-to time-saving tips?

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Meet Our Guest

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

Transcript

Kathi (00:00.903)

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter-Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And here with me is my co-host of Clutter -Free Academy, it’s Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya. So we are in the midst of talking all things food prep. And we’ve been talking about my book that’s coming out, Sabbath Soup, weekly menus and rhythms to make space for a day of rest.

Tonya Kubo (00:14.602)

Hey KathI!

Tonya Kubo (00:20.873)

Yes!

Kathi (00:30.367)

I don’t even know if I’ve shown you this, but look how pretty she is. This is just a mock-up. You know, the inside is somebody else’s cookbook completely.

Tonya Kubo (00:43.328)

You know.

Kathi (00:44.413)

You would never know, but I think she’s so pretty. It makes me so happy. The bowl of soup on the front makes me super happy. And you know what I loved about doing that? We actually went to a hunting lodge. No, no, no, it wasn’t a hunting lodge. It was a vineyard lodge. Like I guess they have had hunters stay there before. And we did all the photography for that. And we cooked a bunch of my recipes and

Tonya Kubo (00:58.624)

Mmm.

Kathi (01:13.021)

the whole crew was like, when do we get to eat these? And we finally got to eat. And they were all like, this is amazing. my goodness. It made me so happy. Because you know, I cook all these recipes and I think they’re amazing. But then to unleash them on the general public, it’s nice. Let’s just say it’s nice to have confirmation that it worked out, right? So I want to talk about, I made this book.

Tonya Kubo (01:26.72)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (01:35.424)

Right, exactly.

Kathi (01:42.591)

for people who were short on time, short on money, and short on energy. And so I wanted to talk about like, okay, which of those three are you the shortest on?

Tonya Kubo (01:47.392)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (01:53.994)

Cool. I would say time.

Kathi (01:57.599)

Okay, okay, so this episode is for you. Yay. For me, it’s probably energy just because, you know, I don’t know, you know, it’s, I maybe I’m getting a little bit older. I put my energy into a lot of different things. But you have, you have a 14 year old and how old is Miss Abby? 10, that’s what I was gonna guess that but I’m always terrible at guessing children’s ages.

Tonya Kubo (02:00.745)

Yay!

Tonya Kubo (02:21.162)

Ten.

Kathi (02:26.623)

You know, I at my niece I’d be like she’s 12 right? No, she’s 16. Kathi. Okay. Yeah, great Super involved in so You’re at a place where yeah, you’re going into 15, you know between Band camp and you know the different classes your kids take and doctor’s appointments and just your own business there’s there’s not a lot of time so What where?

Tonya Kubo (02:31.424)

No.

Tonya Kubo (02:46.378)

My heart.

Tonya Kubo (02:53.408)

There’s not.

Kathi (02:55.805)

Where do you feel like the challenge with time comes with meal planning most?

Tonya Kubo (03:01.19)

Well, I think for us, when it comes to meal planning, I, part of it is, is that when I worked in an office environment, I would spend my Friday lunch break planning meals for the next week. And at home, I don’t get the formal breaks that I used to get when I was in an office.

Kathi (03:12.229)

Mm -hmm. Mmm.

Kathi (03:18.863)

Right. Yes, yes, that makes a big difference, doesn’t it?

Tonya Kubo (03:24.516)

It does. And so part of it is, is setting aside the time. It’s protecting the time when I’ve set it aside and getting in the headspace. As you know, that transition time with your brain, like just takes a lot. And so those three things always make it feel harder and more time consuming than it should have to be.

Kathi (03:32.095)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (03:39.207)

It does.

Kathi (03:45.649)

Yeah, well, and I think about, you know, when you’re planning for just a couple days in advance, that’s really tough. And you were planning away from home, which I mean, was great. But also, you didn’t necessarily know what was in the fridge. And as we’ve discussed on this podcast in the past, Mr. Kubo likes to stop by the store. So you may not know what has recently come to your house. Yes, yes, yes. So

Tonya Kubo (03:55.509)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (04:10.416)

Exactly.

Kathi (04:13.375)

I do want to talk about time -saving strategies both with planning but also part of the reason that this is called Sabbath soup is because we are planning for you to take a Sabbath we want you to and we’re gonna work the Kubo’s up from having absolutely no Sabbath to something of a Sabbath to someday having a Sabbath and We’re gonna see this transformation

Tonya Kubo (04:25.896)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (04:38.334)

Yes!

Kathi (04:41.395)

So I want to talk about some time saving strategies and I want you to leap in here too because Tonya, you’ve learned a lot. So I think one thing that I think we really need to talk about is keeping it simple. It’s very fun to try elaborate recipes because you want to try something really, really specific. But I think there’s also a place for

Tonya Kubo (04:57.888)

Mm

Kathi (05:09.735)

What’s easy and done, right? What do we do that we can just do really, really quickly? And one of the things that I’ve learned also is to have the resources on hand to make meal prep easy. So one of the things that I do is I have a set of dry,

Measuring spoons and measuring cups and a set of wet measuring spoons and measuring cups. I have a set of dry Mixing bowls and a set of wet mixing bowls that has been For me that keeps it so I don’t have to clean up all the time now, of course If I am preparing like a meatloaf and I’ve got raw meat in the bowl. I am NOT reusing that bowl. So let’s

Let’s just start off with the assumption that we all have some common sense and that I’m using common sense Because we often have people who will write into the podcast assuming that I don’t know that Robbie can kill you But I I very much know that so we’re just gonna use the common sense that we can I also so what’s your favorite time -saving meal Tonya?

Tonya Kubo (06:05.684)

Mm -hmm. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (06:16.576)

Mm

Kathi (06:29.599)

Because I think having some chili, why is it time saving for you?

Tonya Kubo (06:30.112)

Chili. Chili.

Well, cause my chili recipe uses the Instant Pot or I use a crock pot sometimes. You know, I use an Instant Pot for both functions, but you know, my chili recipe is just opening a bunch of cans and dumping it. And what I have started doing, and I think I got this tip from you, is I actually go to a local butcher to buy ground meat. And so I buy it five pounds at a time.

Kathi (06:39.389)

Yeah.

Kathi (06:43.461)

Mm -hmm. Yeah

Kathi (06:50.952)

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (07:02.408)

And then when I bring it home, I just cook all of it up and then I portion it out. You know, so five portions. So that’s already done it in the freezer so I can just throw that in with all the rest of my ingredients, plug it in, set it for its time. Done.

Kathi (07:02.417)

Ooh.

Kathi (07:05.87)

-huh. Nice.

Kathi (07:13.415)

Yeah.

Kathi (07:19.419)

Okay, so you bring up such a good point here that is now I do my ground beef I’ll put I’ll do it with the First I’ll saute some onions and then I’ll throw that and garlic and do that because that’s how I like to use my ground beef I also now do that with sausage crumble sausage And shredded chicken, but I will also say sam’s club has a shredded chicken. That’s out of this world It’s a smoked shredded chicken

Tonya Kubo (07:30.89)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (07:39.776)

Mmm.

Tonya Kubo (07:49.053)

Yum.

Kathi (07:49.947)

Yeah, that’s amazing. But to have those packets of pre -cooked meat ready to go to add into your chili, to add into your spaghetti sauce, to add into your soup, genius, genius, genius. And yeah, so I think it’s interesting. There are two ways to define time-saving. So time-saving can be, okay, I’m going to do this real quick because I’m home and we need something quick for dinner.

Tonya Kubo (07:53.802)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (08:20.103)

which is a totally valid way of cooking. Then there’s another way, which is just how you described your chili, which is you throw all the ingredients in there. It takes you five minutes to throw together. However, it may cook all day. And that’s, to me, those are both time -saving. They are used in different ways, but they both count as time-saving to me. And so I love having those kinds of go -to meals.

Tonya Kubo (08:35.146)

Mm

Kathi (08:49.757)

So I want to tell you a few of my other favorite go -to meals that can hit some of those things. So one of them is just a pasta. Last night, I had made pasta sauce a couple of weeks ago, and I made too much. I froze part of it because I had had some ground sausage, some marinara sauce, some onions and mushrooms, all that kind of stuff. And instead of

Tonya Kubo (08:53.407)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (09:05.866)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:18.239)

putting the leftovers into the fridge where let’s just be clear, leftovers go to die. I said, you know what, I’m going, this is what’s called a loop meal, leftovers on purpose. So I packaged that up, it in the freezer. Last night I made, I boiled up some just elbow macaroni and we had that with.

Tonya Kubo (09:40.618)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:43.995)

That marinara sauce rogers like this is my favorite meal I’m like good because it’s super easy and then I made a whole box of that macaroni Pasta because I’m gonna turn that into mac and cheese and so like, know, we’re doing those left So like we’re doing a cycle of meals So first I cooked too much marinara and I made that with the pasta which I cook too much of the pasta which I’m gonna make into the macaroni and cheese

Tonya Kubo (09:49.61)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (10:02.186)

Mm

Kathi (10:11.431)

I’m gonna shred too much cheese. I will make that into something else when I make the macaroni and cheese. It’s the circle of life, baby. Another really great time -saving meal for me, and I think this is one that Lily may dig. So I’m just gonna, it’s the sheet pan meals. Has she ever cooked a sheet pan meal?

Tonya Kubo (10:17.664)

Thank you.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (10:35.441)

well, I have, right? So she’s watched me do it, but yeah, she has not made one of her own.

Kathi (10:37.072)

Okay. Yes.

I think some sheet pan fajitas would be right up that kid’s alley. I don’t know. think she might, you slice everything, toss with seasoning, and bake on a sheet pan. And I love parchment paper. It’s the one thing at Costco I don’t care for. Their paper is good, but just the size of it, it’s too big for things.

Tonya Kubo (10:46.892)

I think you’re right. No, you’re right.

Tonya Kubo (10:58.496)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (11:10.418)

It’s too unwieldy, yeah.

Kathi (11:11.999)

Yes, have I told you my favorite sheet pan? What am I trying to say? What do you parchment paper tip? Have I told you my favorite parchment paper tip? Okay, so you cut out your parchment paper and then you crinkle it all up and spread it out again. So it doesn’t all. Yes, I why did it take me 10 years to figure that out? But God bless.

Tonya Kubo (11:25.084)

No, you have not told me your favorite parchment paper tip.

Tonya Kubo (11:34.178)

So it doesn’t curl up? Nice!

You know what? We used parchment paper two days ago and you know what I did, Kathi? I grabbed cans out of the pantry and just put one can in every corner. So like the moment you’re telling me you crinkle it up, I’m like, that would make it lay flat, wouldn’t it? That would be easier than lugging out four cans from the cabinet.

Kathi (11:48.351)

okay.

Kathi (11:54.619)

Yes, yes.

Kathi (11:59.555)

I do it every time I bake cookies now, every time I do everything. Okay, here’s another fun one. A Greek salad with rotisserie chicken. you’re just doing, so there are two ways to do a Greek salad. You can do like the lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, feta, but also another way I love to do it is just the sliced cucumbers and do that in with some tomatoes and throw some chicken in there, do some feta.

Tonya Kubo (12:04.081)

love it.

Kathi (12:29.255)

and put some either Italian dressing or Greek dressing on it. Chef’s kiss, chef’s kiss. And quesadillas, another favorite way and those do great in an air fryer or just in a pan. Tuna avocado boats, have you ever done something like this?

Tonya Kubo (12:32.53)

Mm -hmm.

Yum.

Tonya Kubo (12:39.872)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (12:50.384)

Yes, but not for years because you know the price of avocados around here is a little bit silly. But yes, tuna avocado boats and chicken salad avocado boats are really good.

Kathi (12:55.281)

Yeah, yes it is.

I was just going to say this would be an easy one to do a chicken salad with. And so think about that when you’re roasting a chicken, like for Roger and I, we’re not going to eat all of that roasted chicken. What are you going to make with the leftovers? That is a time saver because if you get that roasted chicken out, you’re chopping it up, you’re eating that for dinner at night. And then at the same time, you’re making a chicken salad so you can have that for lunch the next day or dinner the next day.

Tonya Kubo (13:03.441)

And I’m loose.

Tonya Kubo (13:12.16)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (13:29.735)

How many times can you have leftovers on purpose when you’re just doing that the next day? And then I love a good wrap, you know, so taking some leftover chicken or maybe some hummus or some pre-cut vegetables and just, you know, putting it on a tortilla or a wrap or whatever you use to roll. It’s a great no-cook meal.

Tonya Kubo (13:36.02)

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (13:55.114)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (13:57.469)

So they’re great for busy days when you know that tomorrow is going to be busy cook tonight and have that as a leftover so I also want you to save time with your cooking routine so Tonya I’m gonna give you a minute to think about what is your favorite time -saving tip for when you’re prepping for things okay so I want you to think about that but I’m gonna tell you my favorite thing

is to cut your veggies for the week. So on one day, for me it’s Thursdays, I’m pulling out my Cuisinart, whatever your food processor is, and I am cutting all of my carrots at the same time. I’m precutting all of my onions, both white or yellow, whatever you want, and then also purple. Like all of that is happening on the same day.

I am cutting up as much as I possibly can in one day. So I only have to clean out the food processor once. So what are you going to do? I also love to use Alexa for reminders and kind of, you know, doing out my day. The other thing I love, and then I’m gonna come to your tip, is to say, hey Claude, here are all my recipes.

What should I do in what order? So if you don’t know what I’m talking about, Claude is AI, you could also use chat GBT. What can I prep the day before and what can I cook the day of? What order should I do that in? I think that that, and Claude is right 90 % of the time, sometimes you have to look at it and say, really, is that what I wanna do? But to get an order, so you’re not having to decide on the day of cooking what you’re gonna do.

Tonya Kubo (15:40.884)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (15:49.844)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (15:50.407)

Okay, so Tonya what’s your favorite time-saving cooking tip?

Tonya Kubo (15:55.09)

Okay, so for cooking, mean, I think your point, I think is the ultimate truth, which is it’s the prep that takes the most time. It’s the chopping and all the things. So for me, some things that I have just discovered over the years, if I’m making recipes where I need shredded cheese, freezing the blocks of cheese in advance, because frozen cheese actually shreds easier and faster.

Kathi (16:06.408)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (16:24.382)

than cheese from the fridge. You don’t have the moisture, all of that. So that’s one, it’s just super easy. We also keep our ginger root, because we do a lot of Asian cooking. So our ginger root is in the freezer because if you grate it, you don’t need to peel it. The peel just kind of like melts away. So that’s one that we do. And then we have started doing a lot more like minced garlic with like ice cubes or oil.

Kathi (16:26.469)

Yeah, yeah. Right.

Kathi (16:34.899)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (16:41.269)

nice. cool.

Tonya Kubo (16:53.246)

like with water or oil and freezing those and making little like flavor bricks. Those are the things. And then for me, the big one is I make my own bone broth. So anytime I cook a roasted chicken, cook a chicken, have bones, I throw that all in the Instant Pot and just water and some seasonings and let that cook. It makes a very neutral broth. It’s not like the broth you buy at the store, but having that frozen in ice cube trays, that makes it super fast to make soup, super easy.

Kathi (16:53.288)

Yeah.

Kathi (17:03.593)

Okay?

Tonya Kubo (17:22.814)

to make, even if I wanna make ramen and just have it be a little heartier using the homemade stuff, all of that, and dried mushrooms. My family loves mushrooms a lot. So dried mushrooms kick up the flavor and things.

Kathi (17:27.579)

Yeah.

Kathi (17:33.585)

Yes.

And Costco has the big thing of dried mushrooms. If, yeah, yeah.

Tonya Kubo (17:39.742)

That’s where we buy ours. And we just started buying freeze-dried green onions. And we bought them online. Brian had seen them at Costco, but they were doing that thing where, you know, they’re not going to order any more. Because, you know, it’s like, you can regrow your green onions. We’ve talked about that before on the show. But, sometimes you just need a tablespoon of green onions. You don’t need the whole batch.

Kathi (17:45.433)

interesting, where do you get those?

Kathi (17:54.161)

Right, right.

Kathi (17:58.397)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kathi (18:06.151)

It’s so true. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (18:07.322)

And so popping those, just a tablespoon of those, again, a lot of times it’s for our ramen, but it just makes everything so much more fun. It’s great for the kids, right? Like I’m not just giving them some noodles and some like broth with MSG. It’s homemade broth, the noodles, and then a little bit of green onion, a little bit of dried mushroom. And they feel like it’s fancy. Of course, Lily will add a soft-boiled egg because she’s a little bit extra.

Kathi (18:12.137)

Yeah.

Kathi (18:22.163)

Yes.

Kathi (18:33.809)

Yes, we love Lily’s extraness. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (18:36.37)

Yes, but those are all things that we do for saving time and yet at the same time not feeling like we’re deprived.

Kathi (18:44.487)

Yeah, and so let me just say something here that’s really important that I should have started this whole thing with. If you need to buy all your food for a week because it’s that kind of week, you know, let’s just be honest. The week of October 8th, when I am going to be promoting, you know, Sabbath soup and how to cook for a week, all of my groceries, all of my meals will probably be

Prepare like it will be the Costco chicken. It will be the pasta that’s already cooked like there is no shame in that yes, I love that yes, and there

Tonya Kubo (19:13.344)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (19:19.39)

Yeah. No, we call it catering by Costco at our house. Right. Or like the Costco. You’ve done this before with a book launch where you get like the Costco size meat and cheese tray, you know, and then you just have that in the fridge and you’ve got that with crackers for like homemade charcuterie, that with bread for sandwiches. It’s really about survival. What makes the most sense? I mean, to your point, you talked about the chopping.

Kathi (19:34.203)

Yes, yes.

Kathi (19:38.429)

Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Kathi (19:46.674)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (19:48.788)

Kathi, there’s been times when like the whole house gets hit with the flu. I just run and I buy the pre -chopped carrots, celery and onions so that I can just come home. I mean, it’s…

Kathi (19:52.638)

Yeah.

Kathi (19:57.503)

You’re better than me. You’re better than me. I would just like, I would find somebody it would be Door Job Dash Mountain Edition. which, which let’s be clear. It’s my friend Susie. Susie would show up with a giant pot of soup. Yes. But you know, sometimes it’s like, okay, so I’m getting two Costco chickens. And so the first day we’re just going to eat it right off the bone.

Tonya Kubo (20:08.146)

Yeah

Tonya Kubo (20:11.92)

Right. Suzie totally would. She’s like that.

Kathi (20:24.723)

The next day we’re gonna roll that up in a tortilla. The next day we’re going to do it into a chicken salad. Like that, if that’s what your version of home cooking is, God be with you. Absolutely, friend. And we even have a week in Sabbath soup where it’s like you’re just buying all the food and you’re putting it together in new and interesting ways because sometimes that’s how we survive. Okay, guys, we are…

Tonya Kubo (20:27.636)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (20:35.018)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (20:46.367)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (20:54.003)

We’re going to be showing up here all month talking about how to get dinner on the table when you don’t have time, money or energy. And so next week, come back because we’re going to talk about when you’re on a budget, baby. Sometimes that’s just what you need to do. guys, clutter-free. Excuse me. Sabbath soup. Can you tell that I’m in a mode? Right. So so so and then I just called it Sabbath soap. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (21:16.0)

It’s all good.

Kathi (21:23.551)

I hope you use soap on Sabbath. Sabbath soup is now available for pre-order. And I’m going to suggest that all my cluttery friends, one, listen to the episode before this because we had such great tips about getting you started with Sabbath soup. But also if you pre-order it, you get our quick start guide. And it’s gonna have some recipes you can try before the book comes out.

Tonya Kubo (21:48.576)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (21:49.055)

It’s going to have some tips and tricks and things that you’re gonna want to know so we have the link in there You can get it from any of your favorite retailers Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Christian books calm like wherever you love to buy books you can find it and So we’re going to list that in the show notes Tonya. Thanks for being on today

Tonya Kubo (22:12.0)

Thank you for having me.

Kathi (22:13.777)

And friends, thank you for being here. And if you have ideas of how to save time with your cooking, we would love for you to share those in the show notes because we may feature those on a future episode. You’ve been listening to Clutter -Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now go create the clutter-free life you were always intended to live.

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by Clutter Free Academy Team | Sep 3, 2024 | Clutter Free, Clutter Free For Life, Clutter Free Home, Clutter Free Podcast, Home, Mental Load, Podcast | 0 comments

Listen Now

633 – From Overwhelmed to Organized: A Step-by-Step Guide to Clutter-Free Meal Planning

Hey there, friend! Are you tired of feeling like a short-order cook seven days a week?

In this episode of Clutterfree Academy, host Kathi Lipp and co-host Tonya Kubo dive into the revolutionary concept of “Sabbath Soup,” as featured in Kathi’s upcoming book. Kathi emphasizes starting small, such as preparing one soup for Sunday, and gradually building up to a full week of planned meals. She also addresses common challenges like limited kitchen space and adapting the system for different family sizes and dietary needs.

Listeners will discover:

The importance of planning and protecting Sabbath rest
Tips for organizing the kitchen for efficient meal prep
Strategies for reducing cooking time and streamlining the “big cook day”
How to involve family members in the meal-planning process

Kathi and Tonya discuss the mental and emotional benefits of having a structured meal planning system, including reduced stress, more quality time with family, and true rest on the Sabbath. As mentioned by Kathi in the episode, here’s a picture of her clipboard and basket organizational tip for meal prepping.

Preorder Sabbath Soup here and receive your free download bonus Sabbath Soup Shortcuts. The preorder bonus ends October 8, 2024.

Click here to be notified when the next episode is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Links Mentioned:

The Business You Really Want on Apple Podcasts

Tonya’s newest podcast:

The Business You Really Want on Spotify

Clutter Free Resources:

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Meet Our Guest

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

Transcript

Kathi (00:01.424)

Hey friends, welcome to Clutterfree Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And sitting here with me is now officially, officially the co -host of Clutterfree Academy. Why did it take us so long? Why, why, why? It is Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya.

Tonya Kubo (00:23.696)

Hey Kathi, I don’t know why I just got all excited and got like warm fuzzies. This is so fun.

Kathi (00:26.786)

Yes. It’s well and you’re the co-host of two podcasts. So you’ve officially joined the crazy club. What’s your what’s your other podcast? Just so people know.

Tonya Kubo (00:34.28)

You

Tonya Kubo (00:39.47)

It’s called the business you really want and has absolutely nothing to do with clutter.

Kathi (00:45.224)

But you know what? A lot of our cluttery people are business moguls. So there is going to be a cross-section. So yay.

Tonya Kubo (00:50.47)

You try?

There is, there is. And you know what? I just find creatives tend to be cluttery, right? We have so many ideas, so many interests. So yeah, it totally makes sense for there to be overlap.

Kathi (00:59.514)

Yep, it’s so true.

Yep.

Kathi (01:06.436)

Well, and today we’re going to be talking about another aspect of my business because for the last time in the foreseeable future, I have a book coming out, which in the foreseeable future is I, know, there’ve been a number of books and like Kathi needs a break now and this book is all about having a break, which so this makes a lot of sense, right?

Tonya Kubo (01:18.6)

It is not the last time, Kathi. It is not the last.

Tonya Kubo (01:32.134)

Right, right.

Kathi (01:36.04)

So in October, I have a book coming out it’s called Sabbath Soup and it’s all about creating weekly rhythms and routines and of course, I want my cluttery people to have the first inside scoop because Let’s be honest Tonya. I wrote this for us Yeah, yes Well because I don’t know about anybody well, I do know about some of you, but I’ll just speak for myself

Tonya Kubo (01:55.366)

Right. Thank you. Thank you. I needed it. Okay.

Kathi (02:05.254)

The fact that dinner comes around every single night is the most annoying thing in the world. Like, didn’t I just do that and you want me to do it again tomorrow? Are you insane? And I do really well with a routine. And I do really well with batching tasks. I hate doing the little, you know, mic, I don’t know.

Tonya Kubo (02:20.915)

Hmm.

Kathi (02:31.034)

The idea of cooking a new unique dinner every single night just makes me absolutely insane. And so I have been working on this book. mean, this book has been a thing for a couple of years now and I’m, I’m not going to lie. I’m very, very excited about it. And, so we just wanted to take this podcast to really talk through the process that I feel like

Tonya Kubo (02:38.174)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (02:59.944)

is built especially for cluttery people. It’s about doing one kind of task each day so that you can feed your family and or yourself or your roommates or whoever it is, but also so that you can actually have a break on Sabbath, whatever that Sabbath may be, know, Saturday, Sunday, we happen to celebrate from sundown.

Tonya Kubo (03:03.07)

Mm

Kathi (03:26.084)

on Saturday to sundown on Sunday. And that is a lovely rhythm for Roger and I, the people, and I cook for a couple of extra people. I cook for my mom, I cook for our neighbor, but that to me has just worked out to be a great rhythm for Sabbath. Tonya, when do you tend to celebrate your Sabbath?

Tonya Kubo (03:49.02)

you are so cute, Kathi Lipp. I’m still working on the rest part. Well, I mean, right? Like you said, you wrote the book for us. And what I’m really excited about talking about today in the process that you’ve mapped out is we gave a sneak peek about this to our Clutterfree for Life members earlier this year. So, know.

Kathi (03:54.596)

Okay, okay, yes, right.

Kathi (04:14.118)

Yes. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (04:16.796)

We got to kind of run it by them and see how the cluttery people feel about this idea of Sabbath. And I’m just gonna be really blunt and admit the fact that so many of us, because of our cluttery ways, we don’t feel like we deserve the rest, right? And the Sabbath feels like something we have to earn. And I, you know,

Kathi (04:22.982)

Yes.

Kathi (04:38.136)

Mm -hmm, it’s so true.

Kathi (04:43.484)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (04:45.786)

I know we’re going to talk a little bit about the routine because I think that’s so important for people to wrap their brains around. But I would love actually to just kick us off and talk about that. Talk to me as the person who oftentimes still works seven days a week. Like, talk about Sabbath as an earned reward versus Sabbath as you believe we are intended to experience it.

Kathi (04:58.916)

Yes. So.

Kathi (05:11.026)

So I believe that Sabbath doesn’t need to be earned. In fact, it would be like receiving a gift and saying, how much do I owe you for that?

So I get the feeling that I need to get everything done before I can take a Sabbath. I understand that feeling desperately. And also, can I just say, and I don’t mean this to denigrate who we are, but if you’re an American listening to this, it’s a very American way of thinking. Like I have to earn my rest. I have to complete everything.

Tonya Kubo (05:32.51)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (05:51.528)

Mm

Kathi (05:56.808)

on my to -do list in order for that to happen. And can I just say, Tonya and I are in very different stages of life. Your life is very 24 -7. You have kids who want your attention 24 -7. They have lots of activity. 100%, I get it. And let me say, when I needed this the most was when I had kids at home.

Tonya Kubo (06:13.746)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (06:25.286)

You know, and that’s when we really started to drill in on some of these Sabbath routines saying, because I don’t believe that Sam Sabbath needs to be earned. But for people like you and me, Tonya, who did not grow up necessarily with the idea of Sabbath, a Sabbath cannot be earned, but it must be planned. And yeah.

Tonya Kubo (06:45.96)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (06:53.478)

Right. And what you’re helping me to kind of think about really on the fly here is planned and protected. I mean, isn’t that really what the book’s about too?

Kathi (07:02.728)

Yes. Yes, yes, it really is. So planned and protected to say we are going to be intentional. Now, Tonya, I don’t think you can go from zero to 70. I think, you know, the first step is to say, guys, I’m cooking lunch on Saturday that we will eat on Sunday. Or I’m ordering lunch on Sunday. You know, whatever that

Tonya Kubo (07:24.382)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (07:29.928)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (07:32.46)

is. It’s the, it’s the, because here’s what I believe. It’s very easy for everybody else in the house to have a Sabbath except for mom. I are your, yeah. Are your kids really like working and planning ahead for the week on Sunday? I don’t think so. You know, and I know Brian is a partner with you when it comes to things, but for many of us,

Tonya Kubo (07:43.664)

Exactly.

Tonya Kubo (07:51.428)

No.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (08:00.942)

the mental load and like the most basic of the mental loads, especially on the weekend is feeding the people. And so if that falls to you, then there is no break. And here, here’s the other thing I know. If we do not respect the rhythms that have been established for us, the rest is going to come one way or another.

Tonya Kubo (08:13.694)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (08:23.144)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (08:28.378)

It’s either going to come by choice or by breakdown.

Tonya Kubo (08:31.886)

Right. I was going to say, and the alternative is not necessarily one we want.

Kathi (08:36.4)

Right exactly. So I would love if sabbath is like, ha ha ha isn’t that funny? Can you start by saying? What would Sunday look like if I didn’t have to prep? lunch What and here’s what I mean about prep Even if you’re not the one doing the cooking You’re still the one probably doing the running

Tonya Kubo (08:52.072)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (09:00.232)

Mm

Kathi (09:04.23)

or the grabbing or the deciding, or this kid doesn’t wanna have chicken fingers and this kid desperately wants to. But if there’s a plan to pre-decide what is for lunch, and then the next thing is to pre-decide what is for dinner, and then to pre-decide what is for breakfast, that can take, it’s enough to make

Tonya Kubo (09:06.622)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (09:12.296)

Right.

Tonya Kubo (09:16.658)

Mm

Kathi (09:33.316)

that Sabbath day feels special, to feel different, to take some of the hustle out of the day. that’s, Tonya, I have a dream. And my dream for the Kubos is to have a day where mom doesn’t have to make those kind of decisions. Maybe you make the kind of decisions, do I take an hour nap or an hour and a half nap?

Tonya Kubo (09:36.871)

Right.

Kathi (10:00.04)

Do I watch a movie with my kids? Or do I just say, go do you? I’m going to read a book. Or do we decide as a family that we’re going to go do an outing? We’re going to go take a drive? It lays open some possibilities. Those are the kinds of decisions I want you to make.

Tonya Kubo (10:09.48)

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (10:22.886)

I love that. that makes it’s funny is because you know, Brian likes to say that I am the executive function for the entire household. And I, I love that he recognizes that. And I hate that that is a reality for so many, right? And who, who don’t have that acknowledged. And so I appreciate the purpose of the book. I appreciate the dream. I definitely, Kathi, just want to say thank you for you.

Kathi (10:30.674)

That’s exhausting.

Yes.

Kathi (10:39.952)

Yeah. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (10:52.2)

kind of laying out a customized gentle approach because now I’m going to ask you the really hard question, Kathi, which is thank you for the gentle approach that applies to the Kubos, but what is your routine like at this phase of life living on a mountain in the middle of nowhere in a house that tries to kill you quite frequently?

Kathi (10:59.933)

Yeah.

Kathi (11:03.386)

Yes.

Kathi (11:08.474)

Yes. Yes. So here’s what I’m going to do. We’re going to take a quick break. We’re going to pay some bills. We’re going to come back and I will tell you what our routine looks like with the inclusion of Sabbath soup because it changes everything. It really, really does. So we’re going to go back, go away, come right back, and let’s talk about our routine.

Okay friends, we are back and Tonya asked me what does our routine look like? So our routine is very different than when we lived in the heart of Silicon Valley, but I really wrote this for the people who are doing that kind of life, but it also works for my kind of life. So is it okay if I just kind of break down what we do each day? okay, so this really is a six-day plan and I know that sounds

Tonya Kubo (11:57.468)

Yes, please.

Kathi (12:03.162)

It’s a five or six-day plan. on Monday, I am preparing for next week’s meals. And you may say, okay, that’s very type A of you, Kathi. No, it is very type G of me. I don’t want the constant stress of what are we going to eat tonight? And so for me, who only really goes into town once a week, which is

Tonya Kubo (12:25.672)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:32.338)

by the way, a gift to me. There’s a lot of pre-planning that goes into it. And you’re like, well, I don’t have to plan that hard because I can go to the supermarket seven days a week if I want to. But why would you want to? That’s my question. Why would you want to do that? So Monday, I start with meal planning. So I might do a little inventory, like are there things that we need to use up? Are there things we’re running low on?

Tonya Kubo (12:34.888)

Mm

Kathi (13:01.8)

and then I plan out meals accordingly. I also take a look at what do we have coming up that week. Like this weekend, we have a double blammo. We’ve got our kids coming to visit, but also I’m going to a 30-year-old’s birthday party. So, you know, there’s this double whammy in the best way possible that.

Tonya Kubo (13:17.03)

Yay!

Tonya Kubo (13:25.918)

Mm

Kathi (13:28.612)

Not only did I need to prepare a meal for the birthday party, not a meal, an appetizer, but we also have kids coming who have dietary restrictions. So I take a look at all of that and I plan our meals. and in the coming weeks, Tonya, you and I are going to be talking about, okay, how do I plan these meals if I’m running, if I don’t have a lot of time? Like, how do I plan these meals if we’re on a tight budget? Those things.

So we’re gonna get to all of those. please, if you are not a subscriber to this podcast, hit that subscribe button because we’re going to unlock all the secrets. For everybody who’s listening, we want to make this easy for you. Okay, so Monday is planning day. Tuesday is I clean out my fridge. Now, Wednesday also happens to be garbage day, which we are taking much, yes, it really does help a lot. But that’s also when I make my shopping.

Tonya Kubo (13:56.284)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (14:08.563)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (14:20.915)

That’s helpful.

Tonya Kubo (14:26.088)

Mm

Kathi (14:26.564)

So I will make my shopping list on Tuesday. And here’s the beautiful thing. I order a lot of our groceries from Sam’s Club or from another supermarket that we have here in California called Rayleigh’s or Safeway, one of the others, depending on where we’re going to run our errands. So I will put that order in the night before because Wednesday is typically when we would go to town.

Tonya Kubo (14:48.094)

Hmm.

Tonya Kubo (14:52.846)

Mm

Kathi (14:52.936)

Things have changed since I wrote the book and now we go to town on Tuesday So I’m doing a lot of things on Tuesday But for the plan of the book if your shopping day is Wednesday, that’s gonna work out really really well for you. So Wednesday, I’m gonna go pick everything up and I pick up everything that we need for our cooking sessions I pick up anything that we’re running low on like cereal or milk that kind of thing but

Tonya Kubo (15:01.031)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (15:09.96)

Mm

Kathi (15:19.194)

It’s all waiting for me. And can I just tell you, if you’re not already a Sam’s Club fan, I actually was interviewed for an article about how much I love Sam’s Club, because I really do. They load it into the back of your car. Do you have a Sam’s Club near you, Tonya? No, I’m sad for you. moving on for those less fortunate.

Tonya Kubo (15:30.107)

you

Tonya Kubo (15:37.35)

how nice.

Not really, no.

Kathi (15:46.106)

And you know, we go to Costco every once in a while too, but Sam’s Club is my ride or die. So Thursday is really prep day for me. So Thursday is when I get out the Cuisinart, I’m chopping all of the veggies, I wash, spin, chop. I do that for salad ingredients, all of that kind of stuff. It helps me not feel so overwhelmed on cooking day.

Tonya Kubo (16:14.162)

Mm

Kathi (16:14.606)

And I might even do things like saute the hamburger meat or something like that to start prepping my meals. And then depending on my schedule, Friday or Saturday is cooking day. And it helps me so much to have that plan already laid out. I know what I’m gonna do.

Tonya Kubo (16:22.238)

Mm

Kathi (16:41.232)

I try to be as organized as I possibly can, but that Monday through Friday routine never varies. Things come up every once in a while, I may need to do the cooking, mean the shopping and the prepping on one day. Sometimes I’ll need to do that, but, and sometimes I like to work ahead. Like if I’m doing cookies, I may do the cookie dough on Thursday, because that’s an easy thing to do.

But it makes it so much easier. I’m prepared. I know where we’re going to eat for the rest of the week. It makes it a breeze.

Tonya Kubo (17:21.854)

Okay, so it sounds like it’s really organized. It sounds like it’s fairly easy for you to sort of switch things up as they need to be if your day into town changes. So how does this benefit your Sabbath, your day of rest?

Kathi (17:33.424)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (17:41.052)

Because I don’t do anything on Sunday except for reheat. Right, right.

Tonya Kubo (17:44.52)

Okay, but you have to like explain this whole do nothing thing. That’s hard for Tonya Kubo to understand.

Kathi (17:51.17)

Yeah, so I almost every single week make a big pot of soup for us to have after church on Sunday. And I so that’s one of the main meals I’ll cook. So that is I do that on Sunday. I also prep our breakfast for before church. So if I’m going to do say like French toast, what I’ll do is I’ll have all the ingredients there.

Tonya Kubo (18:00.744)

Mm

Kathi (18:20.996)

It’s already decided what I’m doing, right? The bacon is defrosted. The bread is already set out. If I get ambitious, I might even whip up the eggs and milk and cinnamon and nutmeg to dip the bread in. The fruit is already chopped.

Tonya Kubo (18:24.414)

Got it.

Tonya Kubo (18:29.096)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (18:45.31)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (18:49.79)

Got it.

Kathi (18:50.756)

The dinner that I’m doing Sunday night is going to be usually some kind of casserole or something like that. Also, Saturday night is like our main meal. So like I might do a roast chicken or I might do a ham or soup because I’m going to take those ingredients, that chicken and whatever we don’t eat on Saturday night, that becomes part of Monday night’s dinner or Tuesday night’s dinner. It’s leftovers on purpose.

Tonya Kubo (19:16.904)

Mm

Kathi (19:20.622)

So I am making all my decisions earlier in the week. So Sunday, it’s just like, I need to put the enchilada casserole in the oven. Bam, it’s done. It’s not that I need to cook or prepare the enchilada casserole. No, I just need to put it in the oven. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Tonya Kubo (19:32.744)

Done.

Tonya Kubo (19:40.006)

Right. Yeah. And so I, you know, in the book you talk about your big cook day. So I’m going to be honest when, when you talk about it, I know you have explained it to me privately and I want you to explain to listeners because every time it comes up, like my default thought is I have to cook from like six in the morning until nine at night. So

Kathi (19:45.702)

Mm -hmm. Right.

Kathi (19:51.74)

Yeah.

Okay. Yes.

Kathi (20:05.242)

I would never do that, that sounds terrible.

Tonya Kubo (20:07.793)

Right, so tell me, tell me about the big cook day. How does that work?

Kathi (20:10.586)

Okay, so remember we’ve prepped everything on Thursday as far can we all agree that chopping all the vegetables is usually the worst part of all of it?

Tonya Kubo (20:21.086)

100 % 100 % zero notes. Yes.

Kathi (20:24.398)

Yes, yes. So that’s why like on Thursday, I’m pulling because I don’t know about you. Like my food processor, I never want to pull it out because it’s kind of a pain in the butt to clean. But if I’m chopping all the onions and I’m chopping all the carrots and I’m chopping all the mushrooms and I’m chopping all the celery, and I’m chopping all the pepper, you know, here’s the thing, I’m just going to wipe it out between chops. And I’m only washing it once.

Tonya Kubo (20:36.839)

Yes!

Kathi (20:51.784)

By the way, can I tell you the best part of this plan? I hate to do dishes. It’s it’s it’s my kryptonite you know, who doesn’t mind doing dishes is mr. Roger and So I do all the cooking he does all the cleaning now sometimes he’ll help me prep Especially if we’re snowed in or something like that, but I I don’t I pretty much don’t touch a dish But even if I had to I’d rather do the bulk of dishes on one day

Tonya Kubo (20:55.326)

Please.

Tonya Kubo (21:11.666)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (21:22.148)

than all throughout the week because it really does cut down on our dishwashing throughout the week. But okay, so I have learned things about doing this big cook since writing the book. Like, my goodness. Okay. I think you are. So I used to just say, okay, I’m going to work on this recipe. Then I’m going to work on this recipe. So a couple of things I’ve done.

Tonya Kubo (21:24.006)

you

Tonya Kubo (21:36.67)

Tell me. Because I feel like I’m getting inside information along with everybody else.

Kathi (21:49.668)

And Tonya, I will get pictures of this so we can put it in the net. One thing I do for each recipe that I’m preparing, I have a plastic basket. And the on Thursday, I put all the things I can in that basket for that recipe. and this is really important. For each recipe, I have a clipboard that I have either photocopied the recipe.

Tonya Kubo (22:18.27)

Mm

Kathi (22:18.492)

because you’re allowed to do that if you own the book. You can photocopy that recipe and I’ll put it on that clipboard or print it out, however you’re gonna do it. And I clip that onto the clipboard. I put that clipboard in the basket. So when I’m going and gathering all the ingredients, all the ingredients are in the basket, except for we’re not putting raw chicken in the basket on Thursday. yes.

Tonya Kubo (22:26.056)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (22:43.282)

I appreciate that clarification.

Kathi (22:45.53)

We you know, we’re putting things in there like the can of salsa the jar of tomatoes the loaf of bread the the peaches, know, whatever that is so everything’s going in that basket because I feel like So much of the cooking experience is going around and finding all the stuff so

Tonya Kubo (22:56.797)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (23:08.462)

my gosh, that’s the 6 a to 9 p thing. It’s racing back and forth on your kitchen.

Kathi (23:11.18)

Yes, yes. Right, so all the spices are going in there. And somebody said, well, what if you’re using the same ingredient in a bunch of different things? So you put like the salt and pepper, I put that in the basket I’m preparing first. And then I’ll just put the salt and pepper into the next basket. The other.

Tonya Kubo (23:29.278)

Okay, that makes sense. I could figure that out all by myself, Kathi. I could.

Kathi (23:33.776)

Yes, I you know, but you know, sometimes people we we both have people in our lives, Tonya, they’re newer neurodivergent, right? They’re neuro spicy. And until you tell them exactly what to do, you know, they don’t want to do things wrong. And I appreciate what not wanting to do things wrong. So we’re going to help out our friends that and it’s not just neuro spicy people. It’s all of us who sometimes just we need to be taken by the hand.

Tonya Kubo (23:36.862)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (23:43.058)

Mm -hmm. Yep.

Tonya Kubo (23:56.382)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (24:03.214)

Another thing that I’ve learned since writing the book is I have two sets of measuring cups. I have two sets of measuring spoons, one for wet and one for dry. And that and then a bunch of measure glass measuring cups and a set of bowls, one for wet and one for dry. And that has made a huge difference to me. And

Tonya Kubo (24:03.39)

Mm

Tonya Kubo (24:21.309)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (24:31.256)

I’ve learned that since writing the book because I just always did what I always did and then I really challenged myself. How can I make this easier? How can I cut the time down? And I feel like I went from cooking for about maybe four hours on the weekends to closer to two or three. Yeah, so I think.

That does not include doing all the dishes. Can we just say you’re gonna have to do dishes for a while? But you’re doing them all in one day instead of everything else. So I will put some pictures of how I do the baskets with the clipboards, but game changer, absolute game changer.

Tonya Kubo (25:14.864)

Okay. Okay. So I’ve been at your house before. You have more counter space than I do, but I wouldn’t say you have a ton of counter space. So where are you setting all of this up?

Kathi (25:18.715)

Yes.

No, I don’t.

Okay, so a couple of things. I’m doing it on my kitchen table for the most part. Having an extension cord has really helped out with being able to move things around. And also, I spent some time in my kitchen really thinking about how I’m using my space. And we actually just bought a kitchen island on wheels.

Tonya Kubo (25:31.483)

Okay.

Tonya Kubo (25:39.634)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (25:54.269)

Kathi (25:54.96)

Have I not shown this to you yet?

Tonya Kubo (25:56.644)

No, I do not. I have no knowledge of this. Is your life changed?

Kathi (26:00.6)

Tonya, my bright blue kitchen island is everything. Because not only is it gorgeous and it gives me more prep space, it has cabinets underneath where I can store everything I’m using for this process.

Tonya Kubo (26:10.302)

Whoa.

Tonya Kubo (26:21.766)

You know we Clegary people love a good cabinet.

Kathi (26:24.376)

And this is a great cabinet. I’m like, Tonya, this is going to make you weep openly. I have not filled up this entire thing.

Yeah, it’s kind of beautiful. So I would encourage you, you may not think you have the space for something. And when I say I rethought my space, can we just be honest? My friend, Tenille, came to my house and helped me rethink my space. And she said, yeah, she says, I think you should have a kitchen island. And I said, where? And she showed me how and we had to move my kitchen table about eight times.

Tonya Kubo (26:46.376)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (26:51.87)

Tenille is so good at that.

Kathi (27:03.88)

and we finally dialed it in. And you know, we sometimes have big groups to our house. So I needed to be able to put the leaves in the kitchen table. But really 90 % of this is set up on my kitchen table. so having that extension cord has been a game changer because I can leave my mixer set up over there. I can, if I want to, I can cook in my air fryer on my kitchen table.

Tonya Kubo (27:06.366)

Mmm.

Tonya Kubo (27:22.27)

Mm

Kathi (27:33.0)

We’re making it work. It’s kind of a beautiful thing.

Tonya Kubo (27:38.664)

That sounds so efficient.

Kathi (27:42.022)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (27:43.408)

How long? mean, like, how much? I feel like this is like a life’s work. Like, this is your opus.

Kathi (27:48.474)

I, yes, I do feel that deeply. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (27:52.51)

So how long did it take you to sort all this out?

Kathi (27:57.668)

So this has been in phases for sure. I think you remember me talking about six chicks freeze and fix. My cooking club that I did, especially when my kids were younger, where we would each make three meals, six of us, each of us would make three meals, but we’d make six family size portions of it. And then we’d swap it all together. So I learned a lot by doing that. And then when it was just me and Roger,

I said, I don’t need to plan anymore. And then I got really mad at Roger for wanting dinner on a regular basis. And I’m like, well, maybe I need to rethink these things. And I got really mad when everybody could relax on Sundays except for me, because people still needed to eat. But I also didn’t want to spend a ton of money going out for every meal, right? And so this, I feel like this is my master’s.

Tonya Kubo (28:57.448)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (28:57.8)

and cooking and planning, but the gift is not becoming a professional. The gift is getting a day off a week. And it’s made me, it’s made me very, so I feel like people who have never really in a real way experienced a Sabbath are actually gonna have a transition time if they start to do this.

Tonya Kubo (29:06.738)

Yeah.

Kathi (29:25.112)

I don’t say dive in with I’m just gonna lay around all day Sunday, like transition in small ways. to put, I think it’s really important to not have a big old day just kind of looming out there in front of you, but to say, and to dream about if my family had the time, what would we do with it?

And I think that that’s a really beautiful way of approaching it. And let me also say this, like this Sunday, I’m gonna cook on Sunday, but let me explain why. It’s because my stepson Jeremy is coming. And every time he comes up here, we try to perfect our ravioli recipe. And so we’re going to enjoy our time cooking, but we don’t have to cook.

Tonya Kubo (30:11.382)

Aww.

Kathi (30:18.076)

the rest of the time here because it’s already planned out. I already know that on Saturday we’re having salmon and we’re having potato salad and asparagus. I already know that. We’re gonna cook some of that on Saturday night because we wanna have it on the barbecue and Roger loves to barbecue. But the ingredients are already bought. I have no stress about it because it’s already happening. It’s a gift.

Tonya Kubo (30:46.078)

That is such excellent advice. mean, you’ve talked about starting small. You’ve talked and you’ve given us a great plan of how we can do that. You’ve talked about, you know, just how we can make this manageable, how we can maximize our space. I really appreciate how thoughtful this is. I feel like I’m not going to say this is better than getting the book because the book is what has the recipes. This just has a detail of the process. But I feel like

Kathi (31:11.814)

Yeah. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (31:14.876)

This episode is such a great compliment to the book. Any final thoughts for us? Anything else we need to know after listening to this whole process laid out?

Kathi (31:21.295)

Yeah.

Kathi (31:26.192)

So I love what you said about starting small. And so I would really encourage you, if you do nothing else, can you cook a pot of soup on Friday or Saturday to have on Sunday? So the reason it’s called Sabbath soup, and there are a million different kinds of recipes in here. Yes, it’s not just soup recipes. Like there are so many bangers in there.

Tonya Kubo (31:49.03)

I was gonna say, you have to tell them it’s not just soup recipes.

Kathi (31:55.686)

the macaroni and cheese, the roasted chicken, like there’s so many great recipes. But here’s why I think soup is such an excellent Sabbath meal. Because it’s usually a one pot meal. I’m gonna cook it on Friday or Saturday. I’m gonna let it cool down. I’m just gonna stick that entire pot in the refrigerator. And then I’m going to pull it out when I am ready to cook it.

You can buy a loaf of bread at the supermarket. You can buy a bag salad to put with it. You’re done. That is you have already checked off one meal. And by the way, if if you don’t have leftovers from soup, what are we even doing here? And there are some bigger families who are going to have to have double some of these recipes. But we love to have that soup on Tuesday night. So we’re going to have it.

Tonya Kubo (32:43.858)

Yeah.

Kathi (32:50.564)

on sat on Sunday after church and then we’re gonna have it again on Tuesday night. And if it’s chili, we may put it on top of a potato, we’re gonna figure something else out with it. But sometimes because it’s just the two of us and we’re feeding our neighbor and my mom, sometimes it has enough for eight that I just freeze some of that and that’s fast food for another week. And like I have so many blocks of soup and I just feel like they’re little

bags of gold in my freezer. It makes me so happy because all I have to do is pull it out the night before Let it defrost and i’m ready for lunch the next day. So I would say start small Find a recipe you love if you don’t get the book. It’s okay Find a recipe you already love that you already make i’m going to tell you all the ways to prepare for your cook day are

between this podcast and the book are there. And I think so much of the mental break that so many of us are looking for is somebody just laying out the plan. And I feel like I’ve done that for you. I’ve done the research, the hard work, the ideas. You can adjust a lot of these recipes for your family’s dietary needs or their preferences.

You’ll notice there are not a lot of green peppers in the book because I think they’re disgusting. It’s my own prejudice, but you can put them into your family meals. I will not be discouraged. Yes, yes. So Tonya, you are not a Sabbath person. So I’m going to turn the tables on you. what, what, is there something you think you can grab onto here?

Tonya Kubo (34:21.658)

All you want, right?

Tonya Kubo (34:29.48)

Okay.

Tonya Kubo (34:34.526)

Well, yes, I mean, as you know, we’re recording this the week before school starts. And we have a whole new thing with kids in different schools. We haven’t had that before. And it’s about 50 minute drive between schools we mapped out. And so I’ve actually really been leaning in. I don’t have the full book, right? But I have like a little sampler of it and I’ve been really leaning into the process and I am actually fortunate.

Kathi (34:39.131)

Yes, yes.

Kathi (34:44.52)

Kathi (34:49.66)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (34:55.783)

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (35:03.422)

maybe even more fortunate than you, Kathi, because I have a Brian who quite honestly is very similar to Mr. Roger. But I also have a Lily who is 14 and is very excited about taking on some of the cooking for the family. And so I have a partner. You know, I have more than one partner in my house to do this, but we’ve already been talking about like implementing the book. And so for us, it’s really going to be about starting with

Kathi (35:07.26)

Yes.

Right.

Yes

Kathi (35:23.452)

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (35:32.722)

getting used to having a plan to soup a week, then the next step is going to be cutting down on our grocery store trips. Because Brian likes to go to the store every day on the way home from work. And so then it’s going to be about what does it look like if we only go to the store once a week? And I feel like the plan is going to come together with those two things. Everything else is really going to fall into place for us.

Kathi (35:43.728)

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Kathi (35:54.716)

Yeah.

my goodness, I just love it. And guys, we are going to put information about how to get the book. Right now it would be a pre -order, but there is a gift if you pre -order the book. It’s a sampler. I don’t know, how else would you describe it, Tonya? Is it? Yes. Yes, okay. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (36:15.474)

That’s what I call it, it’s a sampler. That’s what I have, right? Because I’ve pre -ordered the book. So I have the sampler. I love it. You know, people think I get all this stuff for free. I buy this stuff, folks. I buy it.

Kathi (36:25.392)

Okay guys, I offer to her for free But yeah, just so you know, I know because she’s amazing and I do that for people I support too Because I want them to have that sale. I want them to know that I’m in it and I want the pre -order Bonuses, so we’re gonna put all the information in there because the sampler will get you started That’s what I want for you. The sampler will get you started

Tonya Kubo (36:28.862)

But I still buy it!

What’s in it?

Tonya Kubo (36:39.902)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (36:49.275)

Yes.

Kathi (36:53.576)

So we’re gonna give you all that pre-order information. You can get it at any of your favorite retailers Tonya I feel like this podcast episode is the best companion we could have done to Sabbath soup. I’m so excited Thank you so much for being excited with me and we’re gonna have to we’re gonna have to find out what Lily’s favorite recipes are We’re gonna need we’re gonna need a report back from her on that. Okay

Tonya Kubo (37:07.996)

I think so too.

Tonya Kubo (37:20.178)

We will do it in the name of research for you, Kathi.

Kathi (37:22.18)

Okay, I love it. Well, friends, you’ve been listening to the Clutterfree Podcast. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now go create the clutter-free life you’ve always wanted to live.

#658 The All or Nothing Trap: Why Good Enough is Good Enough

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp is joined by her clutter buddy, Tonya Kubo, to tackle the all-too-common mindset of "if you can't do it right, don't do it at all". Together, they explore how this thinking impacts our homes and hearts, and...

#657 Rediscover Peace: The Psychological Benefits of Decluttering

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp is joined by Tonya Kubo to delve into the hidden costs of clutter and how it impacts our lives beyond the physical. They explore the emotional, spiritual, and financial toll that clutter can take and discuss...

#656 When Opposites Attract: Managing Different Clutter Levels in Marriage

In this enlightening episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp welcomes author Arlene Pellicane to discuss the delicate balance of managing different organizational styles within marriage. If you're struggling with a spouse who has different standards of tidiness,...

#631 Holiday Headstart: 5 More Tips for a Relaxed Season

by Clutter Free Academy Team | Aug 20, 2024 | Christmas, Clutter Free, Clutter Free For Life, Clutter Free Heart, Clutter Free Home, Clutter Free Podcast, Fear, Freedom, Home, Mental Load, Podcast | 0 comments

Listen Now

631 Holiday Headstart: 5 More Tips for a Relaxed Season

Do you ever say you’ll start holiday prep early, but then suddenly it’s December and you’re in a tinsel-covered panic? Well, no more!

In this episode, Kathi and co-host Tonya Kubo dive into part two of their discussion on preparing for the holidays in August. They offer practical advice for early holiday planning. Kathi and Tonya emphasize the importance of considering family needs, budgeting, and self-care in the planning process.

Listeners will discover:

How to plan for those perfect holiday photos
How to plan for budget-friendly holiday travel
How to create a realistic holiday decor plan (even if your husband Roger thinks there’s no such thing as too many Christmas lights.)

Throughout the episode, Kathi and Tonya offer relatable anecdotes and practical strategies to help listeners reduce holiday stress by planning ahead.

Kathi shares her love for early holiday meal planning and cookbook perusing in this episode. She mentions one of her favorite recipes called Raclette. Check out Raclette photos in the banner as well as the recipe below!

Raclette

3 to 7 oz. raclette cheese per person, sliced to fit the small trays under the raclette grill. (We find this at Trader Joe’s and at some of the fancier stores from around November through February, and we’ve even found it on Amazon.)

4 to 6 potatoes new potatoes per person, boiled with the skins on. (You have better things to do with your life than peel tiny potatoes.)

Optional Ingredients: Everything else is what you like or have on hand. That’s the beauty of this meal—you get to make it what you love. Here are some ideas: bacon, beef fillet, thickly sliced, pork sausage, zucchini, thickly sliced, mushrooms, grape tomatoes, white pearl onions, bell peppers, thickly sliced, cornichons or pickled gherkins (traditional dinners call for sweet pickles, but we only use dill), pickled baby corn, asparagus, crusty hearty bread, barbecue sauce or ketchup (I have found this to be a game changer)

Directions

1. Turn the raclette grill on to medium-high heat.

2. If you are using bacon, place the slices on the grill plate and cook to your liking.

3. Use the bacon fat to cook the other ingredients. (If you are not using bacon, simply brush the grill plate with some olive oil.)

4. Place some meat and vegetables on the hot grill plate. (When we have vegetarians or vegans visiting, we use two grills. You could even just use a tabletop skillet for the veggies and the raclette skillet for the cheese and meat.)

5. While the meat and vegetables are cooking on the grill plate, place slices of raclette cheese on the small trays and put them under the heating element.

6. Slice or smash the potatoes on your plate. Scrape the melted raclette cheese out of the tray and serve it over the warm potatoes. It is also common to place the melted cheese over the cooked vegetables. Some people even put slices of potatoes into the handled trays so that the cheese melts directly on top.

About eight people can use one raclette set at a time. This is a warm, hearty dinner that is a universal hit at our house and with our guests.

If you want to keep the whole meal on the tabletop, you can even use it to prepare dessert. Just clean off the grill and roast marshmallows over it to create tabletop s’mores. (Is there a better way to end a meal than with chocolate and marshmallows?)

Did you miss part one of this conversation? Click #630 Plan Now, Relax Later: 5 August Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

Would you like to receive an early Christmas gift? Join the Clutter Free Facebook Group where they will provide you with a download of all 10 Planning Tips! Remember,. Remember, you can’t join the CFA Facebook Group without answering the membership questions. It’s how we keep it the kindest corner of the internet.

Click here to be notified when the next episode is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Links Mentioned:

Raclette cheese

Clutter Free Resources:

Learn more about Clutter Free for Life

What do you do in August that helps you make the holidays stress free?

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Meet Our Guest

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

Transcript

Kathi Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more

And I am back with co -host of Clutterfree Academy. It is Tonya Kubo. Hey, Tonya!

Tonya Kubo (00:33.21)

Hey, Kathi!

Kathi (00:35.134)

I’m excited. Okay. You know, I was super excited last week about Our 10 tips for a stress -free holiday. We we got through five last week I’m finally getting smarter in my old age not trying to do 10 tips in one episode Like let’s break because then we have super size episodes and you have to go back. No, no, no We just we started we knew this was gonna be a two episode series, but we’re talking in August about

what to do to prepare for Christmas and Thanksgiving and all the holidays in the winter. And why are we doing that, Tonya? Why are we just that organized and type A and so on top of it?

Tonya Kubo (01:18.478)

No, but we wish we were. Actually, the reason we’re doing it is because we cluttery people need time to plan to plan, right? So when it comes in October, it is two months too late. We need time in August to make some decisions, sit with those decisions, recover from the effort of making the decisions so that then when push comes to shove, October, November, we’ve already know what we’re doing and then we just forge ahead.

Kathi (01:20.188)

We do.

Kathi (01:27.09)

Yes.

Kathi (01:47.354)

And that’s what we need. need some time, space, and we need to take care of our future selves because otherwise it all comes down to us. I know how these things

Tonya Kubo (01:57.82)

Right, and so because it all comes down to us, I am gonna jump us right in. If you didn’t catch the last episode, I just encourage you to go back and look at it. It should be pretty easy to find in the player that you’re listening to. Or head over into Clutterfree Academy, our free Facebook group, because we have a download with all 10 tips. It’s called 10 Decisions to Make in August for a Less Stressed Holiday. That’s waiting for you there right now. Kathi, just take it away

Tip number six.

Kathi (02:28.83)

Yeah, so we talked about are you gonna do Christmas cards or not? And both decisions are 100 % fine, friends. But if you are gonna do Christmas cards and you want a picture of your family, or if you just want a cute Christmas picture to put up on social media or to hang up in your house without sending Christmas cards, that’s allowed too. It actually is. And

Also, our vet, if we didn’t give them a picture of moose each year, there would be a revolt. So maybe they do that just to make us feel good, but I don’t care. It does make me feel good. So now is the time to make plans for that Christmas picture. Now, maybe plans are, hey, we took this great picture on our vacation. Let’s use that. That is a perfectly acceptable picture. Our Christmas card last year, somebody came to our house and took a great picture of moose.

holding one of her toys and she looks a little mischievous. And so we just, we knew that that was the perfect card. So, or maybe you want to get a professional set of pictures taken of you and your family. All of these are options in August. But as we get closer to November, our options get

And then we’re sending out for Christmas cards on December 1st. We get them back on the 15th. We don’t have time to send them out. And then we have 200 Christmas cards that we’re like, well, maybe next year. So now is the time to take the picture, okay? And we do have, what is your favorite tip for taking a great picture? Do you have one? I’ll tell you mine and then you can tell me yours. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (04:01.254)

Right.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (04:16.954)

Sure.

Kathi (04:18.578)

So I think the best pictures are where people feel comfortable. And so not so staged, not so posed. We just did a whole photo shoot here at the Red House. And Tenille, our photographer, kept telling us how great we looked. And if your photographer is not doing that, you need to find a new photographer. So also if you’re a parent, especially of a tween or teen,

and you just want to, you know, to be able to say, hey, you look great or have somebody else tell them they look great. That would be my go -to move. Okay, how about you, Tonya?

Tonya Kubo (04:54.108)

I was gonna say my tip is take 400 pictures because one of them is bound to look good. right? Because the more people you have, the harder it is to make sure everybody is looking at the camera at the same time with their eyes

Kathi (04:57.946)

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Kathi (05:10.096)

It’s so true. And I think the other thing to say on that is, boy, just wear something comfortable. The best pictures are where you’re wearing jeans and you feel great.

Tonya Kubo (05:16.144)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (05:19.824)

Yep, that is so true. All right, Kathi, go ahead and give us tip number seven.

Kathi (05:26.278)

Okay, it’s time to plan for Christmas travel. So if you’re gonna be flying cross country, if you need an Airbnb, you need hotel rooms, you need flights, now is the time to get that information nailed down. Can I tell you just the mistake we made recently? Roger and I were gonna do this big, big, big trip and we’re like, okay, we think we can save enough money for this. It’s gonna be tight.

Tonya Kubo (05:48.934)

Sure.

Kathi (05:56.038)

You know with the flights and the everything we’re doing, but I think we can do that so we we went ahead and booked we got the travel insurance and Then we looked at the flights Holy cow, Tonya. I had no idea how it’s an international flight. I had no idea I had no idea so We’ve made the hard decision to not go until we think we’re gonna do like in five years because we want more time

to gather our pennies together. So instead of our 20th anniversary, this will be a great 25th anniversary. We’re gonna do something fun and fabulous for 20 years. But start to get those numbers into your head now. Start to look for flights now. Maybe sign up for a flight tracker to see if the cost goes down. Get an idea of what hotels or Airbnbs are gonna cost in that area of the country or the world, whatever that is.

Tonya Kubo (06:27.578)

Right.

Kathi (06:55.568)

Start to nail some of that information down now so you’re not in a panic in November. Now, you don’t travel for holidays usually, do you? Okay, so for you, it’s just, should we clean out the car or not, right?

Tonya Kubo (07:04.567)

Not usually, no.

Tonya Kubo (07:11.072)

Yeah, well for me, so I have a couple of relatives that live in other states, right? So our big thing is, yes, should we clean out the car or not? The other thing that we have, if we’re road tripping, because that does happen sometimes, when the girls were younger, especially, it’s nap time. When are you going to leave, right? When do you leave the house? When do you plan to come back? You know, because ideally, if you’re doing the holiday thing, somebody else’s house, you don’t want your kids to lose their charm before you have a chance to get them into the

Kathi (07:21.872)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kathi (07:40.73)

Right, Yeah, that charm covers a multitude of sins. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, and this is a great point. You know, for us, we may be RVing this Thanksgiving. And so, like, it’s time to look at those RV spots. It’s time to look at packing, you know, road tripping. What kind of food are we going to bring? Because if you are planning to eat out every meal while you’re road tripping,

Tonya Kubo (07:45.914)

Yeah, yeah.

Kathi (08:09.32)

that’s gonna cost you as much as Christmas. maybe, you know, maybe make those plans now. And also, if it is now the time to discuss, do you want to stay with relatives or is that a terrible idea? We had to, you know, there were some relatives we would have loved to have stayed with them. There were other relatives for other reasons that it was very hard to stay with. So to start preparing people early for those decisions,

is really, really good and

Tonya Kubo (08:41.946)

Yes, yes. Okay. So what is tip number

Kathi (08:48.734)

Now is the time to ask for do you need time off from work? Do you need to make other arrangements? Do you need to offer yourself a sacrifice for Christmas so you can get Thanksgiving off? You know what so start to ask now because you’re starting to plan so early and you’re starting to connect with the people that you’re planning

you might be able to ask earlier than you’ve ever been able to ask before. And if you’re, especially if you’re working someplace like retail or you’re in a hotel or a restaurant situation, getting that time off request in as early as possible or to find out, no, I can’t take time off then. Those are all good things to know. And the earlier you can get that request in,

more likely you are able to do it. This is why I also really suggest if you have any possibility of celebrating on a day other than Christmas or other than Thanksgiving, boy, it alleviates a lot of stress for a lot of people. I know that it’s nice to have that Friday off between Thanksgiving and the weekend, but also the cost of traveling.

Tonya Kubo (09:53.19)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:06.085)

That week is extraordinary. The cost, could you take a different set of days off and make it easier on

Tonya Kubo (10:15.644)

Mm -hmm. Excellent tips, excellent tips. And especially, you what’s nice is if you’ve got people who work retail, there’s blackout dates already set, right? So that helps you plan accordingly. I love that. So we need to take a quick break, because as you like to remind me, Kathi, we like to keep the lights on around here, right? So we will be back with tips nine and 10 after our commercial

Kathi (10:24.379)

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Kathi (10:34.792)

Pay the bills.

Kathi (10:45.456)

Okay, we are back and we are diving right back into our tips. Tonya, I’m just gonna go into nine. This is especially important for the lip household.

Tonya Kubo (10:57.39)

Right, it is not important for the Kubo household. So you go for it, Kathi. Yeah.

Kathi (11:00.424)

You know what, see this is good to know, right? This is good information to know. A holiday decor plan. you know, like Tonya’s like, well that’s easy, no.

And that’s okay. And I think, you know what, if I wasn’t married to Mr. Christmas, that might be my plan too. I might have just a cute little tree off in the corner or something like that. Our first Christmas together, we decided to not celebrate on Christmas because we knew that, we had had a wedding that year and we thought, well, the kids will wanna be with their other parents and that’s fine. So what we did is we bought a two foot,

Christmas tree and we did a road trip to a bunch of different B &Bs and we took that Christmas tree to each B &B and it was perfect. But Roger likes some lighting. He likes to dec… Yes, he likes to decorate the yard. Now since we get free Christmas trees because they’re all in our backyard, we set up three Christmas trees often in our household. And so

Tonya Kubo (11:45.456)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (11:52.024)

how fun.

Tonya Kubo (11:58.779)

He does.

Tonya Kubo (12:07.099)

Yeah.

Kathi (12:13.938)

For me, it’s very important that we go in having a budget because every year, Tanya, every single year, I think, well, surely we have enough lights. We must have enough lights. His last name is Griswold. I don’t understand it. But yes, every year we go by the lights. So one thing I’m going to insist on this year, insist on is

Tonya Kubo (12:25.04)

You’d never have enough lights for Mr. Lip.

Tonya Kubo (12:39.515)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:43.376)

Mr. Lip, we need an inventory of what we have because what often happens is, that might be in the attic or it might be in the storage shed, but I’m not sure. So while we’re here at Home Depot, Lowe’s, Ace Hardware, we might as well get XYZ. No, no. Well, okay, if he really wants to, we will, but.

Tonya Kubo (12:48.42)

yeah.

Tonya Kubo (13:05.04)

Mm -hmm.

No. Yes. I was gonna say yes.

Kathi (13:13.266)

But could we find that information out in August? Or let’s be kind to ourselves even September when it’s not blazing hot in the attic. Could we put a plan together so that we actually know what we have? Do you wanna change up the theme? So in our bedroom, we put up a Christmas tree that’s very Woodland themed. In Roger’s office, we put up a tree that’s very Disney themed.

and then downstairs it’s bright and shiny things. So we know, do we want to change any of that? And then what do we need to do with DIY project? Is there something that we’d like to do? Let’s budget for it now, let’s go in with a plan so we’re not doing last minute things. And I think this is a good, I’m gonna put cooking under this as well. Now it’s harder to plan for cooking four months in advance, but.

Tonya Kubo (13:48.474)

Yeah.

Kathi (14:10.8)

If you’re gonna be trying a bunch of new recipes, does that require a new KitchenAid? Does that require a new thingamajig? What are we doing? Or maybe, for us, we often wanna smoke a turkey. We need to make sure that the barbecue that we’re using, or the Traeger, or whatever we’re doing, is in proper working order if we haven’t been using it.

Tonya Kubo (14:25.285)

Kathi (14:35.698)

Because I cannot tell you the number of times we’ve gone to use the thing and we haven’t used it for nine months and the thing maybe had some friends living in it. Let’s check that out. Let’s not be surprised. How about that? Let’s not be surprised.

Tonya Kubo (14:53.341)

That’s a surprise you never want, but it’s so much better to have it in August than it is to have it like the week before you plan to use

Kathi (14:57.956)

Right? Right, especially if you’re snowed in. Now you have to dig your way. Yeah, there’s just a million reasons to check early

Tonya Kubo (15:07.14)

I was like, hear the emotional scarring from your past experiences, Kathi.

Kathi (15:09.679)

my goodness. Yeah, ask me how I know, friends. Ask me how I know. No, actually don’t ask me, trauma. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (15:13.722)

Ahahaha!

Tonya Kubo (15:17.36)

No. All right, Kathi, give us tip number

Kathi (15:21.15)

Okay, this may be the most important one, the most important one. really, one through nine is leading up to 10. And this is just, it’s gonna sound very new agey, self -care and boundaries, self -care and boundaries. Think back with your spouse, your kids, your parents. Was last year’s Christmas just a little too long?

Tonya Kubo (15:36.678)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (15:50.492)

Were there a few too many people? Were there a few too many dishes that were required to be made? I really believe in saying, know, one thing I’ve learned, I used to think, it’s less stress for me to make all the food because I have control over when things are happening in my kitchen. No, that was just me being a little bit of a control

It’s so much better to say, you know what, you’re really good. Like my sister -in -law, this is an underrated talent. She makes the best salads in the world. I don’t know anybody who makes a better salad than Lucinda Richardson. I don’t know anybody. So let Lucinda bring the salad. Beg her to bring the salad. Let people contribute. If people are saying,

Hey, Kathi, I would love for you to do your Raclette. I’d say, yes, that would be great. Would you bring the Raclette cheese? Yes, I’d be happy to do that. But you know what? I have a lot of people who live closer to Whole Foods than I do. And that’s a Whole Foods item. To be able to say, you know what? This year, we’re not going to be able to go to three different family events in a short amount of time. You were talking about this with your kids.

You know, do we need to be aware of nap time and travel time? And thinking, you know, as adults, sometimes we can, but we shouldn’t suck it up. But kids, they’re not known for their suck it up abilities, right? So to be able to say, you know what, our first day, and we’ve done this when we travel now, our first day, hey, our whole job is just to get there and then go to the hotel and order some food.

Tonya Kubo (17:22.854)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (17:26.897)

right?

Kathi (17:41.914)

and not be on for anybody. And that’s a beautiful thing. And that’s what I think we need to say, you know what, I’m gonna be better on Thursday, Friday and Saturday if it went on Wednesday. It’s just me and the people I love because we can figure it out. We can sleep in, we can do what we need to do. But to just say

Do we say no to overwhelming commitments? And one way for me to do that, and I would love to hear any tips you have, Tonya, because you guys are really good at boundaries, is we just got an invitation today to one of our favorite humans’ 30th birthdays. The 30 -year -old is inviting us to their birthday and we’re not related to them. I feel highly honored. But instead of saying, of course we’ll be there, I said, let me check with Roger. Because I just need to know.

What’s gonna make him most comfortable? What’s gonna be the best thing? It sounds precious of us, but also sometimes I forget, oh wait, we’ve got a big deadline the day before. So it just says, hey, let me check the calendar and let me check with my significant other and we’ll get back to you. And if I get back within 24 hours, no harm, no foul. So what’s a good way for you that you have set boundaries around the holidays?

Tonya Kubo (18:40.678)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (18:53.046)

Right.

Tonya Kubo (18:58.702)

Yeah, so it’s interesting having kids who are growing up, right? Because what I discovered the hard way is, you know, they have school events, if they have extracurricular activities, oftentimes there’s holiday events associated with that. Like, Brian and I do not have the luxury of complete control over our calendars, even outside of work. And so for us,

A lot of it has to do with if it involves school. ask like as soon as back to school night is, which is late August, I will be asking, do you have a calendar of all events for the fall? Do you have a calendar for the whole academic year? You know, we’re recording this and it’s not quite August yet because that’s how you get August episodes, folks, if you record them before August. And I just found out

Kathi (19:37.98)

Yeah

Kathi (19:46.727)

Right?

Tonya Kubo (19:51.064)

there’s a mandatory commitment for Lily that runs for the next eight days. And by the way, we’re out of town, right? Yeah, exactly. And so I am learning now, okay, so I need to set some boundaries and say, we’re a family that has to plan ahead and we are more than happy to show up to mandatory events. However, you’re gonna need to get us those dates right now. And so again, just to kind of like tie that up in a bow, what I would say is for the school stuff, I ask for the calendars.

Kathi (19:56.263)

What?

Tonya Kubo (20:19.642)

Like early, I ask often. And then when it comes to the personal commitments, I pretty much just tell folks, know, let me check my calendar. And if I can make it, say, I’m gonna make every attempt to be there. However, you know that schools are really good about spring and last minute stuff on you. So if I have to shift it, I’ll let you know. And then I leave it at

Kathi (20:40.988)

Yeah, yeah, it’s really smart because yeah, there are so many competing priorities and whoever made that mandatory last minute commitment, unless they’re paying you, no, that’s crazy, that’s just crazy. I love these and I think that our community is gonna have some really great ideas about what to do in August to make things easier.

Tonya, know one of the things I like, and here’s one of my little gifts to myself in August, is that I’m a cookbook peruser. I like to dive into a good cookbook and I’m gonna start planning my meals for the holidays early in August because that’s something I enjoy. That’s not something everybody enjoys, but I do. So I’m gonna have my little stack and I’m going to spend some time perusing.

Tonya Kubo (21:19.11)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (21:31.097)

Right.

Kathi (21:37.392)

and just bring some delight and it’s gonna make me look forward to the holidays more because I, yeah, I’m excited about that. This is, yeah, and like I said, our Facebook group is gonna have so many great ideas because they’ve all done this. They bought the t -shirts for sure.

Tonya Kubo (21:46.181)

I love that.

Tonya Kubo (21:56.348)

That is true. And as a reminder about the Facebook group, if you’re not in there, you want to be in there because we’re going to put a download with all tips this episode and last episode. It’s going to be called 10 Decisions to Make in August for a Less Stressed Holiday. And Kathi is so good about reminding you this. If you are requesting to join the group, please answer the questions. If you don’t answer the questions, we don’t let you in. We want that community to be as kind as possible. All right, Kathi, anything else you want to add?

Kathi (22:16.627)

Yes.

Kathi (22:26.392)

No, I just want to say thank you for listening. Tonya, thank you for leading us so well. And friends, thank you for being here. You’ve been listening to Clutter -Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the Clutter -Free life you were always designed to live.

#658 The All or Nothing Trap: Why Good Enough is Good Enough

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp is joined by her clutter buddy, Tonya Kubo, to tackle the all-too-common mindset of "if you can't do it right, don't do it at all". Together, they explore how this thinking impacts our homes and hearts, and...

#657 Rediscover Peace: The Psychological Benefits of Decluttering

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp is joined by Tonya Kubo to delve into the hidden costs of clutter and how it impacts our lives beyond the physical. They explore the emotional, spiritual, and financial toll that clutter can take and discuss...

#656 When Opposites Attract: Managing Different Clutter Levels in Marriage

In this enlightening episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp welcomes author Arlene Pellicane to discuss the delicate balance of managing different organizational styles within marriage. If you're struggling with a spouse who has different standards of tidiness,...

#630 Plan Now, Relax Later: 5 August Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

by Clutter Free Academy Team | Aug 13, 2024 | Christmas, Clutter Free, Clutter Free For Life, Clutter Free Heart, Clutter Free Home, Clutter Free Podcast, Fear, Freedom, Home, Mental Load, Podcast | 0 comments

Listen Now

630 Plan Now, Relax Later: 5 August Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

Do you feel stressed out during the holidays? Trust us, your future self will thank you for listening to this episode.

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp and co-host Tonya Kubo discuss the importance of making key decisions in August to ensure a less stressful holiday season. Kathi and Tonya emphasize the benefits of early planning, such as reduced stress, better financial management, and more time to enjoy the holiday season. They share personal anecdotes and practical advice, making the episode both relatable and actionable for listeners.

Listeners will discover:

How to decide on holiday gathering dates, locations, and participants early to avoid last-minute conflicts.
How to plan gift exchanges, considering family dynamics and financial situations.
How to set a realistic holiday budget, including categories like gifts, food, and decorations.

So grab a cool drink, find a comfy spot, and listen in on how to get started on making this Christmas your most organized and enjoyable one yet!

Would you like to receive an early Christmas gift? Join the Clutter Free Facebook Group where they will provide you with a download of all 10 Planning Tips! Remember, you can’t join the CFA Facebook Group without answering the membership questions. It’s how we keep it the kindest corner of the internet.

Click here to be notified when part 2 of this episode is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Links Mentioned:

Join the Clutter Free Academy Facebook Group and remember to answer the Membership Questions when prompted.

Clutter Free Resources:

Learn more about Clutter Free for Life

What are some of your creative ways to approach gift exchanges with extended family?

Share in the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

Leave a note in the comment section below.
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Meet Our Guest

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

Transcript

Kathi (00:01.084)

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And I am here with the co -hostess with the mostest, it is Tonya Kubo. Hey Tonya.

Tonya Kubo (00:47.113)

Yay!

Tonya Kubo (01:08.736)

Hey, Kathy.

Kathi (01:10.444)

I’m excited about today’s episode. feel like as we’re planning ahead, nothing makes me feel like so smart as planning ahead, as pre -deciding, as getting decisions out of the way so that August Kathi is a hero in November Kathi’s eyes. And that’s what we’re gonna do for each of our listeners today. So I’m gonna turn it over to you because my excitement is gonna spill out so much. not even.

Let’s just admit it, I had trouble doing the intro today. I was so excited about this.

Tonya Kubo (01:43.165)

I was just saying, you’re so excited that you have 400 words trying to come out of your mouth at the same

Kathi (01:48.873)

All at the same time, but let’s let’s dive in. Let’s do

Tonya Kubo (01:52.954)

Okay, so what we’re actually talking about is Christmas. And if you are like me, I was gonna say, if you’re grinchy like I am, you’re like, seriously, what is this? But here is something that I know from several years of leading Clutterfree Academy and our Clutterfree for Life membership program, Kathy, and that is that we cluttery people have a true biological need

Kathi (01:58.737)

Yes! Yay! In August!

Tonya Kubo (02:22.22)

to plan to plan. See, Christmas planning in October is about two months too late for most of us.

Kathi (02:29.754)

It really is for us cluttering friends, yes.

Tonya Kubo (02:33.346)

So what we are going to do is this is a two part episode, I believe, and we are going to be it has to be because because I wrote out 10 tips and you wrote out 10 tips and that’s 20 and we’re only going to give you 10 folks. We’re only going to give you 10. So can we just get started, Kathi? I want you to jump right in with what is your first tip when it comes to making a decision in August to have a stress free

Kathi (02:37.892)

Yes, it has to

Kathi (02:42.49)

Yeah

Kathi (02:46.606)

Right.

Kathi (02:57.112)

Okay, so this may sound so basic and for some of you, this is just gonna be a check mark because you’re gonna say, I host Christmas every year on the 24th and 25th and how awesome to have a life that is that perfectly ordered. But for many of us, that is not our reality because we have in -laws, out -laws, blended families, divorced families, all of that kind of thing. So I would implore

to nail down what you’re celebrating, when you’re celebrating, and where you’re celebrating. So for us, we often don’t celebrate Thanksgiving just because we have four kids, some of them work retail, some of them, you know, they all have these schedules where it’s really hard for them to get away from work. And so we just say, you know what, stay with your families in the Bay Area and we’ll do something fun later

So we don’t really worry about Thanksgiving so much, but sometimes we’ll have friends or other family over and that’s great. But Christmas, Christmas needs to be decided. It’s great if it’s decided a year in advance. We often have everybody show up with their little phones and figure out dates. But if we can’t decide a year in advance, August is when you should be doing that. Because if you

If you have other adults coming to your house or you’re going to theirs, I think four months is a really good timeframe to start nailing all that down. makes a lot of sense. And we have one of our kids who’s like, I can’t plan that far in advance. I’m like, well, if you get a better offer, you go for it. But the rest of us, we need to know. So, you know, he’s never planned an adult family function in his life. So it’s okay.

Tonya Kubo (04:32.928)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (04:51.667)

Right, right well then

Kathi (04:52.452)

So what do you guys

Tonya Kubo (04:55.328)

Well, so we actually are the, how do I put this? Like we can’t, we have a core member of the family that will not be able to tell us when they can celebrate Christmas until sometime around December 15th and they are typically the host. So yeah, so we spent several years not spending Christmas or any holiday with family. We did friend.

Kathi (05:08.367)

Yes.

Kathi (05:13.596)

wow!

Tonya Kubo (05:22.486)

We had some friends and we would just spend holidays with them because they had a similar lifestyle to us. They needed to plan several months in advance. And so we would just book it out. But then as the kids get older, right, it’s harder to like explain why we’re not spending Christmas and Thanksgiving with aunts and uncles and grandparents and all of that stuff. So we try to be fluid, but to some degree there’s like, I can only be so fluid, right?

Kathi (05:49.742)

Right, right. Yeah, and I think that that’s okay to say this is what I’m able to do. So what I do in August, if I haven’t done it already, is say, here is the date range of when you can come hang out with us, and here’s the one day that if you can make it work great. If you can’t, let us know now. But if I don’t hear from you in the next few days, I’m going forward, no turning back.

to get that planted so other people can make their plans, so they can do their shop, so they can do all of that kind of stuff. They can figure out their New Year’s plans. Like we’re celebrating as a family the day after Christmas through the next couple of days. you’ve heard me give this advice a thousand times. You can have everybody celebrate together. You can celebrate on the actual date.

you can have people be happy about it. Pick two out of three. And my preference is to have us all together and people to be happy about it. I don’t care if it’s happening on the actual date, but if you can get that nailed down as soon as possible, I think that that is a really smart thing to

Tonya Kubo (06:58.892)

Mm -hmm. Right.

Tonya Kubo (07:09.082)

Awesome. Okay. So that is really good advice. You covered both the importance of ahead, but also how to handle it when it’s sticky, which is something I appreciate because of course, just because you have a need to plan ahead doesn’t mean everybody else has a need. What would be your second

Kathi (07:24.066)

Right. Okay, so while you’re getting together the date and the time and where, know, whose house it’s going to be at, I think it’s all really great to have that conversation about gift exchange. You know, maybe you guys already have a family or friends tradition that is, but also we had kids who were growing into adults and wanted to set the expectation

Tonya Kubo (07:50.348)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (07:53.852)

Early that hey, we don’t need 75 gifts from anybody, but also maybe as you guys get older We don’t need to give you 75 gifts So we’re pretty much at the place where we do three gifts for everybody except we have one teenager in our family And I’m like no we’re gonna buy her the things that she wants and so to just set that expectation also to set expectation with young adults about You know you do get your grandmother a gift

Come on, be a good human being. Like they, you know, they don’t know sometimes because they’ve always had mom and dad take care of it. And so is there, do you need to pull back on some of that? Maybe because somebody in the family is having some financial constraints. You know, what taking the temperature in August is better than announcing in December what you’re going to do. So do you have like

Tonya Kubo (08:23.82)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (08:48.609)

right.

Kathi (08:50.256)

family code when it comes to gift exchange or is it a free for

Tonya Kubo (08:54.723)

Well, so it’s been a free for all for years and this last year the extended family one of the cousins reached out and was just like it’s ridiculous. I do not want to carry all that stuff home ever again. And so they do a trellis. do a bowling day. In lieu of a gift. So everybody goes and bowls for half a day and then they go to somebody’s house and has dinner.

Kathi (09:07.567)

Yeah.

Kathi (09:11.92)

Mmm. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (09:19.49)

And that’s what they do. And the kids love it. It’s so much better than going home with 32 different bags that they can’t remember who gave them what. It’s just so much more

Kathi (09:30.106)

Yeah, you know, Tonya, you and I both have given birth to children who like to open gifts like that. That’s a big part of what they like. And I don’t want to take that away from them. But to be able to do an experience like that, I think that that is tremendous. And especially if that’s like a cool cousin or aunt or uncle, like, you know, then the kid that’s you’re forming core memories there. That is so, so, so

Tonya Kubo (09:36.096)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (09:54.995)

Right. And of course, I mean, they still get Christmas gifts here. They still get presents at our house, right? It’s just not having that overwhelming

Kathi (09:59.364)

Yes. Yes.

Yes. I love it. I also think this is a good idea to start kind of putting in your mind when people ask you what you would like for Christmas to start coming up with that list, start making decisions and keeping track. If you’re the parent, maybe keeping track of some of the things that your kids have mentioned and to keep that as a curated list. So grandparents, know, aunts, uncles. And then also, I also like to just keep track of where

Tonya Kubo (10:12.098)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:32.74)

be a good gift card for that person. If I’m not coming up with anything specific, what can we do to make them feel just loved and appreciated? Tonya, I think we need to take a quick little break. We need to go pay some bills. We’re going to come back and we’re going to go with number three of our five decisions to make in August to have a less stressed holiday.

Tonya Kubo (10:45.73)

Okay.

Tonya Kubo (10:58.954)

All right, so we are back and Cathy, let’s just jump right into number

Kathi (11:04.718)

Yes. Okay. I think this is a great time for you to have a discussion with your spouse, your partner, your kids, your parents, whomever it is about the holiday budget. this money, money. People would rather talk about money than let’s just say for little ears who are listening, more intimate subjects that I consider more intimate subjects, but, they would rather talk about those more intimate subjects than money.

because money has so much dynamic that’s attached to it. But I think the further out you are from the holiday and gift buying, the easier it is to have those conversations. So have those conversations in August instead of October. And you will take a lot of stress off of people. I, you know, Roger and I will have a budget that includes

Tonya Kubo (11:47.33)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:03.66)

a couple of different categories like gifts, entertaining. Entertaining makes it sound fancy. Let’s just say food, okay? One of the core budget items you need to have if you’re married to Roger Lipp is lighting. We have to have a lighting budget each year. So creating those realistic budgets. And one of the things that I wanna talk to Roger about

Tonya Kubo (12:11.511)

Yeah.

Kathi (12:32.728)

August is to start doing kind of like a Christmas club thing Do you remember clip Christmas clubs from like the seven sixty seventies and they well you weren’t around for some of those decades, but Yeah, okay, so I grew up in a time where you could at your bank open a Christmas club account and Okay, okay you do okay, so tell me about that,

Tonya Kubo (12:43.754)

I was gonna say, no.

Tonya Kubo (12:52.885)

yeah, we have

Yeah, we do that. Yeah. So it’s just, it’s a direct deposit every month and it goes into an account and I have mine set up. the regular Christmas club, it dumps the money automatically into your account like Thanksgiving week. And then it’s everything that you’ve saved up for the last year gets dumped into your account Thanksgiving week. And then that’s your money to go Christmas shopping or do whatever. And ours has, you can do Christmas club and you can

vacation club, which your money gets dumped in the summertime. I don’t like the automatic dumping because sometimes I lose track of it, right? Or, you know, Brian goes, woo, windfall. And there went my Christmas budget. So I haven’t set up to where I manually move the money

Kathi (13:30.214)

Cool.

Kathi (13:36.56)

Mm -hmm.

Right

Kathi (13:47.106)

I like the manually moving because you can start to determine, you know, where are we going to put this? What categories are we going to put this into? I love that. Yeah. So I want to, that’s what I want to do next year is to this August say, okay, let’s start setting up, you know, let’s, let’s start in January of next year, start putting some money aside. I, know, Roger gets a bonus most years and that’s usually

Tonya Kubo (13:49.44)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:16.252)

Christmas comes out of. We don’t know that that’s happening this year. So we’re going to need to, you know, do some creative financing, but that’s okay. And I think it’s good to have a realistic budget. Not like I know that we spent $2 ,000 last year, but we need to keep it to 1000 this year. Like, is that really going to work for you? Or what major thing are you going to take out? Roger and I have decided this year not to do Christmas gifts for each other because

Tonya Kubo (14:29.036)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:43.962)

We want to take a trip next year, things like that. think that that is, you know, having those conversations now so you’re not disappointed when the time comes.

Tonya Kubo (14:53.876)

Right, and I’ll just add another one for families. I have several friends that they actually theme their Christmases, and so they alternate. So there’s an electronics Christmas, and then the next year is a reading Christmas. And they only do so many gifts per child, but so that they know they need a little bit more set aside for electronics Christmas, but they spend a lot less on reading Christmas. And so that helps them balance it

Kathi (14:56.302)

Yeah.

Kathi (15:04.467)

Kathi (15:08.562)

okay.

Kathi (15:12.582)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (15:23.55)

on a two year cycle. I love that idea. So I just feel the need to share that with everybody.

Kathi (15:25.24)

Mm, I love that. Yeah. I think that’s so great. Yes. We did, we, when my kids were growing up, we did more of like, okay, there was a reading gift, there were clothes gifts, and then there was that fun gift, which often had a plug. So yes, I think that that, I think having a theme helps you narrow your decisions and helps you pre -decide, which is what this, this whole episode is about. It’s pre

Tonya Kubo (15:37.782)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (15:52.566)

Right. Well, like you said earlier on, right? It’s about making sure that November you likes August version of you and isn’t like cursing the name of August version of you. So Kathi, we are at tip number four. Do you need me to recap? Cause you may have lost track. Okay.

Kathi (16:01.329)

Yes.

Right, absolutely.

Kathi (16:11.036)

No, I’m good. Number four is your Christmas card list. So here’s what I mean by that. Figure out how many Christmas cards you’re gonna send. So the first decision is, are you sending Christmas cards? And go for

Tonya Kubo (16:28.692)

And Kathy Lipp, can I say something right now? That is the best thing ever. That I read your Christmas project planner after my mom had died. And the year that my mom died, when I read that, that gave me permission not to send Christmas cards that year. And I needed that relief so much.

Kathi (16:46.62)

I’m so glad.

Kathi (16:51.45)

Yeah, you know what and here’s the Brilliant thing. It’s not a binary decision It’s not we are a christmas card family or we’re not a christmas card family We’re like an every other year christmas card family now We did send them last year and my plan is to send them this year because if you listen, you know a big thing that’s going on our life on in our lives

Moose has cancer and this is probably her last Christmas with us and I’m not crying and so I want to have a great picture with me and Roger and Moose for our Christmas card and so I’m probably gonna send them this year and even on the years I don’t send them I love receiving them so I’m honored if I’m on your Christmas card list but I also understand the years where I don’t hear from you for a couple of years because life got in the

Tonya Kubo (17:18.028)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (17:45.518)

So I think it’s really a great idea in August because can we just say in December trying to send Christmas cards out, like Christmas is a part -time job.

Tonya Kubo (17:57.983)

It is.

Kathi (17:59.469)

And do we really need administrative tasks in December? No, no. So if you can, just get the list together. We’re talk about the cards and everything like that. But just decide if you’re gonna send them and be okay with not sending them. The other thing you can do, okay, Tonya, I will also say this. If you have some people in your family or like aunts or uncles or grandparents,

Tonya Kubo (18:04.266)

No, no, we do

Kathi (18:29.244)

like they live for the Christmas card, you can also buy a pack of like 10 Christmas cards and just send five of them and it’ll be okay. So you sent Christmas cards to these five people who it really means something to and that’s okay. Yes. I do believe that you will not be arrested. Yes, I do believe.

Tonya Kubo (18:41.372)

What?

Tonya Kubo (18:48.047)

I don’t know. Are you sure? Are you

Tonya Kubo (18:54.3)

okay. That reminds me of Abby. Abby will say, is that legal? Yes, yes, there is no law against not sending Christmas cards or only sending part

Kathi (18:58.926)

Right? Right. Yes, it

Tonya Kubo (00:20.329)

All right, Kathy. So I think we are ready for tip number

Kathi (00:25.942)

Okay, so this is like we’re thinking ahead about the Christmas card list. I also want you to think about the Christmas gift list. Like who are you actually giving gifts to this year? And are there people that maybe it’s time to have a discussion, hey, you know, we keep exchanging Amazon gift cards every year. What if we just went to dinner?

Or what if, you know, like I would rather spend time with you than to feel that obligation. And because I love you, don’t need a gift from you to be, now there are people in our lives we wanna do gifts for, our kids, maybe our parents, brothers, whatever. But get realistic about your Christmas card list. Do you have teachers from your kid’s school that you need to give to? Are there, you know,

Tonya Kubo (01:03.873)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (01:24.)

I also, I’ll put in this and in the Christmas budget some big tips that I give. Like we have a house cleaner that comes, you know, a couple of times a month. That I want to give a big tip to them. We have somebody who comes and helps with chopping down trees and things like that here on the property. We’re going to give them a big tip. Maybe it’s your hairdresser, maybe it’s your nail person. Like I give a big tip to the people who are loyal to me all year and who fit me in.

Tonya Kubo (01:38.135)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (01:53.614)

when it’s inconvenient. Because I want to stay on the nice list, not the naughty list. So do you need to have some hard conversations or maybe not hard conversations? Maybe you’re giving some freedom to people, but there’s advantages to early gift planning. Could you stock up on some things early on? Like I think about this, we’re big believers in stockings. We

Tonya Kubo (01:55.52)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (01:59.515)

Right. Exactly.

Tonya Kubo (02:12.884)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (02:22.135)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (02:22.724)

We like to do stockings for everybody in the family and we do stockings for every animal in the family. And so if I can buy those things, and we’ve got bunnies, we didn’t do them for all the chickens, but we do them for the dogs. Yeah, the quad pets, those are the ones that we’re doing it for. So I wanna get those things not in December. Let’s get those things early and so it’s not impacting us quite so much.

Tonya Kubo (02:35.703)

can understand that.

Kathi (02:50.36)

and I can start wrapping early and things like that. this is also a good time to keep track, to keep a list because it’s easy to forget what you’ve bought when you have a lot of kids and maybe they have their partners and they have their kids and all that kind of stuff. So starting a list either in your phone or an Excel spreadsheet or however you do it. Do you have any ideas for a Christmas gift?

creating the list.

Tonya Kubo (03:18.761)

Yes. Yeah, we all have a Google Doc and we just use the Google Doc all year long. And then when holidays come up, we know what to lean into. And, you know, we’ll have the girls prioritize like a little bit before the holiday. So we have a sense. But it’s really, really nice, especially when they’re younger, to just let them have a place where they can dream and then bring them back down to reality when it comes closer to the day.

Kathi (03:23.114)

okay.

Kathi (03:43.694)

Yeah. She’s speaking from experience because as we’ve recorded this, Sunday was a grand birthday in the Kubo home and there was a lot of dreaming and a lot of bringing back down to earth. But you know what? That’s what we do as parents. We give them wings and then we help them land safely.

Tonya Kubo (03:54.077)

Yes, it was a grand birthday.

Tonya Kubo (03:59.755)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (04:05.549)

Yes. Okay. So Kathy, we have our five tips. I just want to recap them really quick for everybody. So these are our five August decisions for stress -free holiday. And this is part one. We’ve got five more coming up, don’t we? So the first decision is when and where will you have your holiday gatherings? The second is planning those gift exchanges.

Kathi (04:13.583)

Yeah.

Kathi (04:20.248)

Yes. That’s right, baby.

Tonya Kubo (04:34.391)

Who are we buying gifts for? Who’s buying gifts for us? What do we want to do? A little bit of spoiler alert if you’re just catching us. You know what? Do an experience. It’s just easier on everybody. Number three is set your holiday budget early. The further away that you are from the holiday, the less emotional it is. And I loved your tip, Cathy, about the Christmas club, right? Having a savings account that just manages the Christmas budget for you so you don’t have to stress about it.

Kathi (04:44.803)

It is easier.

Tonya Kubo (05:03.853)

Tip number four was your Christmas card list. Start that now, get the addresses now. Don’t do admin tasks a couple of weeks before Christmas. And then finally, along with don’t do admin tasks two weeks before Christmas is let’s get your Christmas gift list going. Now, if you are like me, Kathy, if our listeners are like me, it is hard to keep track of these things. Right now in August, this sounds brilliant, but I’m probably listening to this show on the way to somewhere else. So I cannot write these tips down.

So here’s what I think we should do. I think we should gather together all tips after our next episode and we should have a download for folks that they can find inside Clutterfree Academy, which is our free Facebook group open to all of our listeners and a few of their friends so long as they’re nice. And we will just so that everybody knows what to look for. It’s gonna be called 10 decisions to make in August for a less stressed holiday.

and you’ll find that inside our Clutterfree Academy Facebook group. And the link of that is gonna be in the show notes. Anything you wanna add, Cathy?

Kathi (06:08.336)

Yeah, if you’re saying, I’m gonna go be a part of that group, just know you have to answer a couple of questions before we let you in there. Lots of people apply and they skip over the questions, but we wanna keep that the kindest corner of the internet, and so we’re gonna make you answer the questions. So you have to read the rules, but come in there, you’re gonna find 15 ,000 of your new best friends, and you’re gonna all get clutter free together. Tonya, thank you so much for hosting us today.

Tonya Kubo (06:24.375)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (06:37.675)

I am so happy to have been doing this. Thank you for having me, Kathy.

Kathi (06:41.84)

Friends join us next week for those other five tips because they really are going to make a difference You know we are going to take care of our future selves and the first way we’re going to do that is to get over the holiday hump with a lot of love a lot of fun and some cocoa, so I’m Kathy lip with Tonya Kubo.

Thank you for joining us. You’ve been listening to Clutterfree Academy. Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

#658 The All or Nothing Trap: Why Good Enough is Good Enough

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp is joined by her clutter buddy, Tonya Kubo, to tackle the all-too-common mindset of "if you can't do it right, don't do it at all". Together, they explore how this thinking impacts our homes and hearts, and...

#657 Rediscover Peace: The Psychological Benefits of Decluttering

In this episode of Clutter Free Academy, host Kathi Lipp is joined by Tonya Kubo to delve into the hidden costs of clutter and how it impacts our lives beyond the physical. They explore the emotional, spiritual, and financial toll that clutter can take and discuss...

#656 When Opposites Attract: Managing Different Clutter Levels in Marriage

In this enlightening episode of Clutter Free Academy, Kathi Lipp welcomes author Arlene Pellicane to discuss the delicate balance of managing different organizational styles within marriage. If you're struggling with a spouse who has different standards of tidiness,...

#626 The Hidden Trauma Behind Clutter: How to Start Healing Your Relationship with Possessions

by Clutter Free Academy Team | Jul 16, 2024 | Clutter Free, Clutter Free For Life, Clutter Free Heart, Clutter Free Home, Clutter Free Podcast, Fear, Freedom, Home, Mental Load, Podcast | 0 comments

Listen Now

626 The Hidden Trauma Behind Clutter: How to Start Healing Your Relationship with Possessions

Have you ever struggled to give things away without feeling guilty, even when the items have only a slight chance of being useful in the future?

That very question came from our Clutter Free Academy listeners. In this CFA Mail Bag episode, Kathi Lipp and co-host Tonya Kubo answer that question and more. They dive deep into the emotional aspects of decluttering, focusing on the guilt that often accompanies getting rid of items.
Kathi and Tonya explore the roots of this guilt, discussing how childhood experiences and ingrained perfectionism can contribute to cluttering behaviors in adulthood. They share personal anecdotes and practical strategies for overcoming these emotional barriers to decluttering.

Listeners will discover:

Why it’s important to question why we’re not using certain items
How being intentional about what we bring into our homes is crucial
When considering environmental impact should happen

Throughout the episode, Kathi and Tonya offer encouragement and practical advice for breaking free from the cycle of clutter and creating a more peaceful, organized living space.

Click here to be notified when the next episode of Clutter Free Academy is released.

Also, stay up to date and sign up here to receive our newsletter.

Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Links Mentioned:

Information from the National Recording Preservation Board on Fibber McGee and Molly

Clutter Free Resources:

Learn more about Clutter Free for Life

Have you taken the “Low Buy July” Challenge? How is that going?

Share in the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

Leave a note in the comment section below.
Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

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Meet Our Guest

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

Transcript

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And I am here with…

the co -host with the most, it is Tonya Kubo. Although, here’s the thing. It’s so funny. Somehow, people got onto a discussion about who their favorite guests were on Clutter free Academy. It is a horse race between Tonya Kubo and Roger Lipp. If I could pick two people for it to be a horse race in, yes.

Tonya Kubo (00:40.974)

Tonya Kubo (00:45.454)

It is.

Kathi (00:55.489)

If I had to, we could do this entire podcast with just the two of you and be just fine. Because I feel like you bring the heart of a cluttery person who has done some healing to this. And Roger brings the, I live with a cluttery person. And, but I, I, I learned an interesting fact about our friend Roger Lipp. So we were, I learned we were driving away from my mom’s house and

Tonya Kubo (00:59.854)

Hahaha

Tonya Kubo (01:18.926)

What did you learn?

Kathi (01:25.281)

know, when we leave town, it’s kind of hilarious, Tonya, because we’ve got our Yeti cooler and we’ve got a pretty small car. We’ve got, we just bring the Jeep usually back and forth. So we had the Yeti cooler, we had our Sam’s order, we had, you know, I bring food back and forth from my mom’s. And then we had some dog food, like all this stuff. And my mom said, it looks like Fibber McGee is pulling out.

Tonya Kubo (01:28.398)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (01:44.142)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (01:54.625)

which I guess was a radio show in the 1940s. Right. Yeah, a little cultural context from 80 years ago. And so Roger says, I’ve been called that all my life. And I’m like, wait, what?

Tonya Kubo (01:57.966)

I’ve heard the name but I had no idea what it meant. So thank you for explaining for me. I appreciate this. Thanks.

Tonya Kubo (02:13.774)

Okay, now we need to know why.

Kathi (02:16.289)

Okay, so, you know, Roger’s mom got remarried in like the the 70s. And his new father, which is kind of funny. His name was Dr. Dobson. Now, not the Dr. Dobson. Yeah, yes, exactly. But this was Dr. Dobson who was a pastor. And he’s very interesting. He actually shook the hand of Einstein because they were both at college at the same time. Right? Right? So interesting.

Tonya Kubo (02:28.526)

Okay, not the Dr. Dobson.

Kathi (02:46.177)

But I know. Roger didn’t know that. I asked him. I asked him because I knew that they were at, I think it was Princeton at the same time. I had done a little research. Yeah, anywho. Yeah. And let’s just say Roger’s stepdad, much older than Roger’s stepmom. Little bit of a scandal, but you know, kind of anyway. That’s what keeps things interesting. Anyway, so Dr. Dean was his name.

Tonya Kubo (02:46.414)

Why isn’t Roger pulling that out at pub trivia?

Tonya Kubo (02:58.67)

Huh, okay.

Kathi (03:15.425)

Never raised his kids. They were always raised in like a missionary school things like that so Roger was the first kid he had ever really lived with and He thought Roger was this wild child and I’m like, my goodness. Tell me all the good stories He goes, yeah, he’d be up really late at night and I’m like tell me tell me more cuz I have no scandal on Roger He goes yeah working on that photography equipment. I’m like

Tonya Kubo (03:21.518)

Mmm.

Tonya Kubo (03:44.238)

he was in the dark room late at night alone with negatives.

Kathi (03:44.865)

Okay. Develop developing things for the yearbook and the newspaper. Yeah. So anywho, all this to say, Fibber McGee, so apparently Roger has been called cluttery his whole life. I have seen no evidence of this really in his life, but I just I, I, it felt good.

to know, you know, maybe we have a common core. This is way off topic. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (04:18.958)

off topic because today is my favorite episode. Okay, I do. I was like…

Kathi (04:24.641)

You love these episodes. I love them too, but you get a little bit of sick joy, I would just say.

Tonya Kubo (04:30.862)

Well, here’s what I love. So we’re doing a mailbag episode, which, and the mailbag episodes are my favorite. And the reason they are my favorite is twofold. Number one, I love, love, love, love, love that we can take the real life current experiences of our Clear Free Academy members and bring them onto the show to help other people who aren’t on Facebook.

Kathi (04:35.201)

Yep.

Kathi (04:54.945)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (04:58.766)

didn’t know we have a Facebook group or any of that. Like I love that. I also love the message that we send to our Clutterfree Academy members who ask these questions that they’re really not alone. Because if they were the only person on the planet who had this problem, who had this question, we would not be devoting an entire episode to it.

Kathi (05:12.289)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (05:20.161)

Right. And I love what you’re saying there, to feel less alone. Because we all sit in our houses, we only get invited over to perfect houses. And so we assume that we’re the only one without a perfect house. And just by our Facebook group statistics alone, which is over 15 ,000 people, I would challenge you to sit, I would challenge your thinking on that, that you’re the only one, because you’re not.

Tonya Kubo (05:31.214)

Right.

Tonya Kubo (05:41.262)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (05:47.726)

Yeah, exactly. So today’s question, I feel like speaks to the heart of where many people are when they join Clutterfree Academy. So I find that we have a few composite new members. There is the person who is like me, feeling suffocated by their stuff to the point that actually being unhoused sounds liberating.

Kathi (06:02.465)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (06:15.502)

Like the idea of having nothing but a backpack sounds like the ultimate liberation, which, go ahead.

Kathi (06:22.977)

My mom, Tonya, has a button that says potential bag lady. Like, yeah, she just, I think especially having two teenagers, she was like, just go and, you know, and by the way, we’re not making fun of unhoused people at all, friends, please, please, please. But I think everybody’s had, I think that’s why we like hotels so much.

Tonya Kubo (06:29.71)

Yeah!

Tonya Kubo (06:37.262)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (06:44.27)

No.

Tonya Kubo (06:49.966)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (06:51.201)

I think that’s why we like the thought of doing an RV or something like that. I think a lot of Cloré people have those same ideals.

Tonya Kubo (06:54.798)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (06:58.574)

Right. And so to the point, right, because what I’m really getting at is so overwhelmed that you just want to escape. We have that person and they want to escape their living circumstances. And then we have the person who comes who actually has a moral struggle. Like they’re not sure. They know that other people have a problem with the condition of their house or other people have a problem with their cluttery ways, but they’re not actually sure that other people are right. Because

Kathi (07:05.921)

bright.

Yes.

Kathi (07:27.713)

What do you mean by that?

Tonya Kubo (07:28.745)

Because in their heart of hearts, they think they’re doing good in the world by keeping hold of things. And so that’s where this question comes from. Because I know, like the outsiders who are not cluttery assume that, you know, our group is full of people who just can’t keep house, which you know how I feel about that. And that’s an episode for another day. But this is the person who says, okay, I hear what you’re saying that

Kathi (07:34.913)

Mmm, yes.

Yes.

Kathi (07:48.481)

Yeah, right.

Tonya Kubo (07:57.006)

I, you know, that it makes sense and it’s a good idea to have a house that’s tidy, that’s peace -filled, that my family enjoys. And yet, I genuinely cannot give anything away if it has even a modicum, even like a little itty bitty hair’s breadth chance of being useful at some point in time to someone, even if that someone’s not me.

What do I do when I can’t give anything away without feeling guilty? That’s the question. And it’s a doozy, right, Kathi? Because there is the decluttering aspect. There is the internal emotional aspect of the guilt. And I would even argue the shame of releasing stuff.

Kathi (08:25.985)

Right.

Kathi (08:35.329)

Hmm.

Tonya Kubo (08:48.686)

And we’ve worked a lot of times with members who the shame and the guilt comes from they spent money on that thing, right? That they’re not using. But this is different. This is I can see that somewhere, somehow somebody might need an extra cord from a slow cooker and therefore I cannot get rid of the cord. So that’s the question that I’m bringing to you, OYZ1. Hit me with your knowledge now.

Kathi (08:56.577)

Right.

Kathi (09:08.481)

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Well, this is going to be a mutual knowledge thing. Okay. So can I tell you, I’m just gonna throw up confessions here. Okay. So, okay, I am a kid from the 80s, right? You know, Brat Pack, all that kind of stuff, like hardcore 80s. Yes, I know. I love them. And

Tonya Kubo (09:21.326)

Yeah

Tonya Kubo (09:30.734)

Sure, I’m all up for confessions.

Kathi (09:44.929)

But I grew up in a very black and white time. Like, excuse me. Like, if you were really hungry, you would eat those green peppers.

Tonya Kubo (09:54.094)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (10:05.397)

I was like, and we all could finish your sentence for you. If you were really hungry, you would eat what I put in front of you.

Kathi (10:08.481)

Yes. Right, right. And, you know, if you if you, you know, you shouldn’t have to buy clothes, because you should be happy with what you have. It very black and white thinking. And, you know, to be grateful for everything you have, which I agree with, Tonya, I don’t actually know a lot of people. I feel like

that express their gratitude for what they have more than I do. And I’m not saying that I don’t think I’m a big bragger on here, but I just know like my intense gratitude for what I have. And that can also be a trap. Like,

Tonya Kubo (10:42.734)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (10:52.718)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (10:58.318)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (11:01.249)

If you know, here’s a shirt and it has a bunch of stains on it. Okay, so I’m going to work really hard to get those stains out and I got those stains out, but now it’s a little frayed. But you know what? I’m going to, I’m going to, I’m going to do this, this, this, this. And then finally it gets to the place where that shirt can’t be used anymore. Well, I should be able to use that as a rag, even though it’s an ineffective way of cleaning my house. And I hate cleaning my house.

Tonya Kubo (11:08.494)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (11:23.662)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (11:30.657)

But I should, I should, I should. The person who is struggling to give things away without guilt, who I contend towards that, is we have got a brain full of shoulds. And maybe we grew up in a house where we were being corrected a lot. Like, okay, can I give a silly example without throwing my mom under the bus?

Tonya Kubo (11:32.942)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (11:38.03)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (11:45.902)

Mmm.

Kathi (12:00.769)

So yesterday, I was helping her clean her living room and there was just a plastic water bottle there. And I said, are you using this to water plants? And she goes, no, I think, you know, it just got left there by somebody. And I said, okay. So I go to the sink to dump it out. She goes, but water a plant with it, Kathi. And like, there’s…

Tonya Kubo (12:00.814)

Sure.

Tonya Kubo (12:18.862)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:31.809)

So it’s just funny, it’s a funny example, right? But you may have grown up in a house that was like that about everything. Like, okay, when that shirt’s no longer good, then we’re gonna give it to goodwill, even if it has stains on it, because somebody should be grateful for it, and somebody should wear it. And…

Tonya Kubo (12:34.606)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (12:41.806)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (12:57.185)

I have always been under the impression, or not always, but definitely in the last 20 years, if I wouldn’t want to wear it, why should I expect somebody else to want to wear it? If I wouldn’t eat it, why should I expect somebody else to want to eat it? I’ve had to change my thinking on that and say, it’s not a bet. We can be in such a poverty mindset that it’s impossible for us to give things away or to

Tonya Kubo (13:21.23)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (13:26.177)

throw things away. And, you know, like, okay, maybe that, you know, it’s that toaster oven, that if somebody spent $30 repairing it, that it could be useful. But most people don’t know how to repair a toaster oven, don’t know where to start with that. And yes, there are things you could do. And if you’re one of those naturally handy people, yay, but most of us aren’t.

Tonya Kubo (13:28.846)

Yeah…

Tonya Kubo (13:35.79)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (13:56.321)

And we have to figure out where we’re going to put our time, effort, and energy. And all of this is trade -offs. There is no… So many of us, I struggle with this mightily, are closet perfectionists. We don’t look like we’re perfectionists because if you came into our house, you know I’m not a perfectionist, but I am. I’m trapped in the way I should be doing things and I’m not doing things.

Tonya Kubo (13:57.038)

right?

Tonya Kubo (14:01.55)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:23.777)

and I live with that guilt all the time. And Tony, I want to hear your response to this. We’re going to take a quick break. We’re going to go get some bills paid. We’re going to come right back. And I want to hear your response to that perfectionistic mindset and maybe the people we grew up with contributing to that.

Tonya Kubo (14:34.062)

Yeah

Tonya Kubo (14:38.638)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (14:44.046)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:46.561)

Okay friends, we are back. Tonya is going to give us all her wisdom about how perfectionism really can be one of the main reasons why it’s hard to give away clutter, items, et cetera, without guilt. Go Tonya.

Tonya Kubo (15:04.59)

Alrighty. So it’s interesting this perfectionist idea, because I definitely agree with it. And I, there’s so much wrapped up in there. And I think your point is, you know, so much of our adult cluttery ways are steeped in some form of childhood trauma. And I’m not saying like capital T front page headline trauma.

Kathi (15:30.625)

Goodbye.

No.

Tonya Kubo (15:33.998)

I am saying I’m really talking about the trauma that just builds up. It’s like the thing that hurts your feelings but maybe didn’t hurt your brother’s feelings. That sort of stuff, right? Like you just, you carried it differently.

Kathi (15:45.185)

It’s, you can be, yeah, you can be traumatized just by imperfect parenting. And that, it’s something you still have to work out. It’s okay, you know, because we were all raised by imperfect parents. That’s what happened.

Tonya Kubo (15:52.558)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (16:01.71)

Exactly. So with that, I think that we also have to come to some point where we say, who do I really want to be? Right? What like what’s mine to carry? What do I want to carry? And I know for me, that cluttering journey has really been about going, huh, I don’t have to own this, right? Like this wasn’t even my junk to own in the first place.

Kathi (16:14.881)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (16:18.849)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (16:31.809)

That’s right.

Tonya Kubo (16:32.101)

And so, yes, there’s the perfectionistic part of wanting to do things right that our Clegary folks really, really struggle with. But I think the point you’re actually making is sometimes it’s not our own perfectionism, but it’s perfectionism that was projected onto us.

Kathi (16:51.041)

Mm -hmm. If you’re going to do it the right way, if you’re going to do, you know, there’s a moral attachment to being thrifty and reusing banks and a moral attachment to spending less money, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And some of those are good things. You know, I believe in those things, but also they can be guilt traps.

Tonya Kubo (17:04.462)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (17:19.521)

They can be deep traps. And also, lots of times, Tonya, you may be done with something, but like we were talking about earlier, you still see the value in it. So you want to give it to me so that I can get the value out of it. I one time had somebody at church who said, Kathi,

Tonya Kubo (17:31.278)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (17:39.726)

Right.

Kathi (17:47.041)

I can’t use these hundred baskets anymore. And I’m not even joking, a hundred different baskets. 100 baskets. There were more than that, but it was at a minimum of a hundred. But I’ve left them here for you because I know you could do something with them. And in my brain is like, do you just want me to take them to the dump? Like, what do you want me to do? And it was, she was putting,

Tonya Kubo (17:50.734)

Mm -hmm. 100 baskets.

Tonya Kubo (18:06.414)

Like what?

Kathi (18:15.649)

a judgment on me to say, basically, if you’re a good person, you would figure out how to let these not go to waste. In my thinking, it was like, lady, you should not have collected 100 baskets. And yeah, and this was a lovely lady and she has since passed. And I think sometimes, like I’ve had some relatives where I’ve had to say, hey, I can take that from you, but you have to give me

full autonomy to deal with it in the way I want. You’re never going to ask me, where is this? Do you display it? And those relatives couldn’t do it. They needed, it’s a control issue, right? And I struggle with control issues as well. And I’ve had to learn that if I’m going to give something away, I have to be okay with whatever happens to it. And that is a hard place for people to be.

Tonya Kubo (19:10.574)

Mm -hmm. That’s true.

Kathi (19:15.649)

But also I need to make sure that I am controlling my own environment and not letting things seep in that or not refusing to give things away because of this mindset. You know, I am very quick to say, hey, I’m not using this. I’m going to give it away. I now I am. But I used

Tonya Kubo (19:32.206)

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (19:42.318)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (19:45.185)

I used to have this guilt of like, I have to get the value out of it. I have to get the money out of it. Like I have to hold onto that shirt because I haven’t worn it enough. Well, why haven’t I worn it enough? Because it actually, you know, maybe it was itchy. And if it’s, so I think that’s the next step when you’re like, why am I not using this item? Is it because I’ve

Tonya Kubo (19:50.286)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (19:56.206)

Right.

Tonya Kubo (20:03.566)

Mmm.

Kathi (20:13.153)

outgrown it, either physically or emotionally or mentally, well then it’s okay to give to somebody else or if it’s not usable, it’s okay for it to go into the landfill. Every human gets a certain amount of landfill stuff and I would challenge you to look at your landfill consumption on the

acquiring end instead of the getting rid of it. That’s where you can do the most impact. So thinking about something before you purchase it, asking yourself, why am I no longer using this? You know, I had some, some pants that I was like, I’m just not wearing them. I’m just not wearing them. And so I’m like, okay, I’m going to pick them up. Why am I not wearing them? Well, when I picked them up, I realized, Tonya, what I kept doing.

Tonya Kubo (20:43.437)

Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

Kathi (21:10.209)

was I kept pulling them out of the closet, seeing they had this weird stain on them, and putting them back in the closet. This was not a good system for me, right?

Tonya Kubo (21:16.654)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (21:21.582)

Can I just tell you I have lived that exact same system, Kathi? It is okay. I feel you right now.

Kathi (21:24.161)

Right? Right? Yes! And so, but these are good fitting pants and I like how they look on me. I just don’t like a giant stain. So what am I doing? I’m dyeing those pants tomorrow.

Tonya Kubo (21:32.27)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (21:40.286)

I was just gonna ask if dying fixes that.

Kathi (21:42.849)

It does. It does. You have to go with darker color. So for me, it’s navy blue. For Tonya Kubo, it’s black. But you know, if you go that darker color.

Tonya Kubo (21:46.766)

Okay.

Tonya Kubo (21:52.238)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (22:04.641)

I’ll just be honest, sometimes we’re trying too hard to save things that don’t need to be saved. Maybe the taco casserole that I made the other day that I was trying a new recipe on and Roger said, he’s very appreciative of my cooking, but he goes, it tastes like there’s a piece of Wonder Bread in the middle of it. And he was not down with that texture. And I tried to save it a couple of times. Yeah, sometimes you just need to give up and it’s okay to give up, try to fix something. But if you can’t,

Tonya Kubo (22:08.75)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (22:19.214)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (22:24.878)

Got it.

Tonya Kubo (22:29.262)

Yeah.

Kathi (22:33.729)

fix it, don’t keep it. I want you to hear me clearly. I’m not screaming at Tonya. I’m screaming at all of my friends who are like, well, at some point there’s magically going to need to be a use for that. You know, I don’t know why I have 300 solo cups, but there’s going to be a day where somebody is going to need those 300 solo cups or, you know, maybe it’s today. Maybe your kid’s school needs them. I don’t know what the

Tonya Kubo (22:39.758)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (22:49.87)

and

Kathi (23:03.713)

The rules are about red solo cups like at a kids school. Is it too evocative of a college party? Okay.

Tonya Kubo (23:09.454)

No, nobody knows, they’re just disposable cups that everybody uses.

Kathi (23:12.353)

Okay, good, good, good, good. But if you cannot figure out a use for that item, if you can’t figure out somebody who would gleefully receive that item, and here’s the test, Tonya. If you put it up on a buy nothing group and you get no takers, it’s probably junk.

Tonya Kubo (23:31.118)

Yep, that makes sense.

Kathi (23:32.641)

It’s a really quick test. I want us to think about, it’s not about I’ve wasted the money. I’ve gotten my money’s worth, if I wore it one time or 100 times. And now it’s time for somebody else. Cluttery people are so generous. So it’s time for somebody else to get the use out of it. If you’ve only worn it one time,

Tonya Kubo (23:44.814)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (23:56.75)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (24:02.337)

then it probably still has a lot of life left in it and somebody else will use it. But if you’ve worn it a hundred times, it may be time for it to go into clothing recycling. It’s okay, I promise.

Tonya Kubo (24:13.102)

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (24:16.782)

That makes sense. And I think, you know, part of me feels like, well, we say that all the time. And then the other part of me feels like, you know what? I know early in my journey, I couldn’t hear it enough. I needed the constant reminder that it is not my job to single -handedly save the environment by never putting another thing in a landfill. It is not my job to be the example of stewardship.

Kathi (24:29.281)

Mm -hmm. Right.

Kathi (24:40.737)

Right, right.

Tonya Kubo (24:46.83)

for the entire planet by retaining everything I ever bought or ever received. So thank you. Thank you for that because even now so many years later, it’s still a helpful reminder.

Kathi (24:53.057)

Yeah.

Kathi (25:01.281)

Well, and I really want to challenge us to think, for some reason, us Cluttery people think about the environment after the purchase. And so to think about before we purchase what, you know, you know my favorite motto from World War I, use it up, wear it out, make do, do without.

Tonya Kubo (25:14.157)

Yes.

Kathi (25:29.313)

That is so much about not bringing new things into our home. And it’s okay. We need to buy things sometimes. I bought a tank top yesterday because right now it is a 110 in Sacramento and I needed a tank top. I’m fine with that. I felt like that was a good purchase, something I’ll be able to use for years to come. But

Tonya Kubo (25:35.31)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (25:51.438)

Yeah.

Kathi (25:58.657)

I thought about it before I bought it. This has been the biggest change I really do like in my clutter free journey after seriously decluttering my house is being so intentional and thoughtful about what I bring into the house. So if you’re feeling guilty about getting rid of things, I always think about it like this. It’s kind of a reset. So if you have a bunch of clothes in your closet that you’re not using,

Tonya Kubo (26:22.222)

Mm.

Kathi (26:26.785)

but you go to your closet every day and you’re like, there should be something here, but there’s nothing I want to wear. It is time to get rid of some of those things in your closet. So you actually have an accurate picture of what you have and can say, you know what? I don’t have a cream tank top. And that would actually go with a lot of things I have. Look at that. I don’t have a pair of jeans that I feel amazing in.

Everybody needs a pair of jeans that they just feel like is a banger. And so, but you’ll never know that when you have 75 things in there that you never wear. And that’s what I want for you. So get that accurate inventory of what you actually have. This could be for food. This could be for gardening equipment. This could be for your closet. This could be for your linens. Because otherwise what we end up doing, Tonya, is we go to the store and you’re like,

Tonya Kubo (26:57.55)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (27:06.414)

so true.

Tonya Kubo (27:21.678)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (27:23.809)

Yeah, I remember that the last time I went to my closet, there was nothing to wear. So I think I just need to buy some new clothes, some new clothes, right? And then what we end up doing is buying things that we don’t need. And then we hold on to things because, well, I spent so much money on it’s this vicious cycle. And we’re going to break the cycle by being intentional about what we bring into our home.

Tonya Kubo (27:28.782)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (27:32.558)

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (27:37.806)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (27:48.814)

I love that. I love that.

Kathi (27:50.209)

Yeah. Okay. Well, Tonya, I love these mailbag issues because I feel like we get to go deeper. We get to go to the heart of it. We get to go to our own histories and our own coming up and thinking about this. And guys, when we talked about that trauma, I want you to hear me that you…

Tonya Kubo (28:03.214)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (28:13.537)

I love what you said, Tonya. It’s the lowercase t. It’s the things that make us act in ways that we wouldn’t want to act and make us use decisions. And guys, here’s the thing. I know that I have done this for my kids. If my kids have kids, they’ll do it for their kids. This is part of the cycle of life. But we also know that we can break those cycles.

Tonya Kubo (28:17.486)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (28:24.814)

Right.

Tonya Kubo (28:41.966)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (28:42.497)

And when I break a cycle, even as the adult parent of adults, it does trickle down. They can see changes in our lives and I think that’s beautiful. Tonya, thank you so much for being with me today.

Tonya Kubo (28:49.102)

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (28:56.462)

Thanks for having me, Kathi.

Kathi (28:58.337)

And guys, thank you for being with us. If you are struggling in this and you are not part of our Facebook group, can I really encourage you to go over there and check it out? And I’ve heard from a couple of people recently, well, I tried to join and I was not let in. Let me tell you, you probably didn’t answer some questions and that’s okay. But just know that there are questions to ask and answer, there are questions to answer. And if you’re not crazy,

Tonya Kubo (29:19.438)

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (29:24.718)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (29:28.129)

We will let you in or if you’re all kind of crazy, we’ll let you in. It’s all good friends. Okay Yeah, so join us over at Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy where we talk about these kind of issues all the time and we can support each other because we love to hear what your answers to these questions are as well because we get more wisdom from everybody You’ve been listening to Clutter Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now go create the Clutter Free life. You were always designed to live

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