Do you recognize the steps you’ve already taken? Do you see how far you’ve already come?
I really do believe that when we are walking the path that God has set out for us, we attract the people, circumstances, and things we need to make to get closer to our God-given dreams.
Have you noticed the steps you’ve already taken?
If you’ve done your 20 minutes, you’ve taken a step.
If you’ve got some accountability in your life, you’ve taken a step.
If you’ve read an article, you’ve taken a step.
If you’ve looked for a class in the college catalog, you’ve taken a step.
And sometimes, God puts the steps right in front of you. Read this letter I received from a woman who attended one of my ME PROJECT presentations. God put the steps in front of her – but she’s the one who took them:
Kathi, when you came to our MOPS group last year and spoke to us, it was as if you were speaking directly to me. I believe it was your first time speaking on the “Me Project” and I have no doubt you did it because God told you someone needed to hear it. That someone was me! My husband work for the state of California and when he got hired into his department he had to go to the for training in Sacramento for six months. We are from Redding (northern Cali), all of our family lives up there, we had an 18 month old daughter and I was 4 months pregnant. After he was finished with training, we were assigned to an LA office so we had to leave everything that we knew and move eight hours away with a toddler and newborn, not knowing a single soul. It was tough, we made a lot of sacrifices and got through it, eventually being able to move to our current location. We’re halfway home! 🙂
My passion is photography. I’ve always loved it, I just never wanted to make the financial sacrifices for something that really only benefited me, not our family. When you spoke to us about the “Me Project”, you kept using photography as an example. If that wasn’t a big kick in the butt from God, I don’t know what is. For Christmas that year my wonderful husband bought me my camera. I have since started a photography business and am beyond happy. If it wasn’t for the support and encouragement from my husband to finally do something for myself I wouldn’t be here, but if it wasn’t for you, I never would have had the guts to try. I thank God for putting me in that MOPS group that day (it was my first day there) and having me hear your words and encouragement. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
If God is telling you to wait on part or all of your goal, figure out what you can do right now, to get started.
From the time I wanted to write THE ME PROJECT (formerly called, YOU GOAL GIRL!) from the time it was released, it was 10 years.
Ugh.
I had to take a lot of teeny, tiny steps along the way. While I was in a bad marriage. While I was a single mom and working full time. While I was working on my speaking career – and while we had four teens – at the same time.
Here were some of the tiny writing steps I took,even when life was very inconvient…
I spent some of my lunch breaks with my writing journal, jotting down ideas for future projects
While waiting at the doctors or dentist office, I read writers magazines instead of People Magazine
I listened to CDs about the writing process instead of the top 40 station while driving to and from work
While my kids swam at the community pool, I outlined articles and researched magazines I would like to write for someday
When my kids were asleep, – that was when I wrote. It may have only been two sentences, or an idea for something that I wanted to do – someday, but I wrote. I knew that I may not finish an actual article, but I also knew it was important to lay the groundwork for the career I was dreaming of.
Was it selfish to yearn for writing time when I had so many other things going on in my life? Many people may think so – I saw it as honoring the dreams that God laid on my heart.
Here are twenty things that you could do, right now, that don’t take more than 20 minutes and will get you closer to your goal:
Read an online article pertaining to your goal
Research how much an online class would be
Search for a podcast of a lecture about your goal
Check your community college’s catalog for a class pertaining to your goal (even if you can’t take the class for three years, you can at least know what is available.)
The next time you take your kids to the library, spend some time looking at what books you can find on your subject.
See if there are any online demonstrations you can watch.
Find a blog that is devoted to your goal.
Start a binder where you can keep all the info on your goal.
Sell something on E-bay to help pay for supplies
10. Set up a folder on your computer dedicated to your goal.
11. Clean a shelf in your garage or basement to dedicate to the “stuff” for your goal.
12. Start a wish list of books and materials you need to accomplish your goal. The next time your kids/parents/husband/friend asks you what you want for your birthday/Christmas/anniversary, you will actually be able to say something besides a gift card.
13. Schedule 10 minutes a day on your calendar for working on your goal
14. Create a line item in your budget for your goal (discuss with your husband if you have one!)
15. Find a conference that would be worth attending and get on their mailing list for upcoming workshops and events.
16. Talk about your goal with a friend that you love. Ask them to pray for you about it.
17. Learn some of the basic terminology or your passion.
18. Send someone in your field of interest a thank you note for inspiring you.
19. Start a blog about your passion (yes, that can really take less than 20 minutes…)
20. Find a local group that is dedicated to you goal.
So my question for you is this – what could you do, in the next three days, for 20 minutes, to get closer to your goal.
Write it down here, and if you are randomly choosen from the comments, you will recieve a copy of THE ME PROJECT.
Getting a Couple of People to Hold You Accountable
Your Project
Find a couple of women to hold you accountable for your goal. It can be someone who lives close, or an internet or phone friend.
Every woman has done it. You get up early New Year’s morning. You write down your goals on a piece of paper. If you are really bold, you’ll post them on the fridge for the rest of your family to see. And that is where it ends. You have no one checking in with you, no one holding you accountable. Your husband certainly is not going to ask you, “Hey, it says here on your New Year’s resolutions that you are going to the gym five times a week. How’s it going?” No, he is not going to ask. He is smarter than that.
This is the point where a woman needs a couple of good, godly women in her life. These are the women who are assigned to ask The Project Manager (you) the tough questions and keep her going down the road God has set out for her.
You Goal Girl!
The waitress knows that we are in deep discussion so, instead of refilling our ceramic mugs, this time she just leaves the pot of coffee. She is used to this scene – the three of us friends talking, laughing until we have to “Shush!” each other, as well as stopping to pray along the way. We are the “Goal Girls” and this table is our monthly meeting spot.
The Goal Girls start six years ago when every area of my life was in transition. My marriage was falling apart and I found myself back in the job market to support myself and my kids. On top of all that, I needed to find a new place to live. I felt like everything was spinning out of control.
I knew that I also needed to makes some changes in other areas of my life. Spending time with God had become a faint memory for me. I wanted to reconnect in a real way, but I was having trouble being committed to my day-to-day relationship with Him.
I needed support that was more than a once-a-week Bible study. I needed people around me to love and guide me through this hurtful time in my life.
At the same time, my friend Vikki, a 30 year-old wife and mother, was just plain overwhelmed. With her two active kids, and another on the way, she was feeling the pressures of keeping it all together. In addition to taking care of her family, Vikki worked outside the home several nights a month, and was the women’s ministry leader at our growing church. The fast pace of Vikki’s life was threatening to swallow her up if she didn’t makes some changes immediately.
Another friend, Angela, young and vibrant at 34, had an even more desperate situation. Complicating her busy life caring for her two small girls, her health was in serious jeopardy and she knew that she had to take some radical steps including losing weight and exercising in order to start restoring herself physically so that she could lead a normal life.
All of us were longing for change. We wanted to live healthier lives, not just physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. Each of us needed help figuring out what God designed us to do, but we also needed a way of making sure that we stayed on track- someone to hold our feet to the fire.
I asked Angela and Vikki if they would be interested in trying an accountability group. I was honest and upfront,” I had no idea how it would work, but I am so frustrated and scared that I am willing to try just about anything. I guess we can just make it up as we go along?” Apparently, they were just as desperate and we decided to meet the next week.
That was eight years ago, and the effect of those meeting are still very present in my life.
Here is my question for you: Are there a couple of people that you can ask to support you along the way? This doesn’t mean that they stand over you with a ruler, beating your up if you don’t get your stuff done. You want a couple of cheerleaders who are going to keep you motivated.
In the comments, tell me who you love who you could ask to cheer you on. One or two names is all I ask. I want you to make this real, live step to making your dreams a reality.
One commenter will be randomly drawn from all the commenters and will win:
a $10 starbucks card to take your accountability person out to coffee.
Your Project
Find another area of your life that you can cut back, do less well, or give up on altogether – either permanently or just for the duration of The Me Project – in order to give you the time and space to pursue your goal.
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen
One of the things that I knew I wanted to do as a mom was to feed my kids fresh, healthy food. My kids were born in the early 90’s so words like “organic” and “locavore” were not part of this mom’s vocabulary. However, when my kids were still in diapers, I made my own baby food and read everything I could about feeding my kids healthy, fresh and nurturing food.
And then I went back to work.
While my standards hadn’t changed, my schedule had. I wanted to keep feeding my family incredibly healthy, fresh nurturing food. But I would come home after a long day, exhausted from meeting work needs, and realize that this Mother Hubbard’s cupboards were bare.
And then suddenly, the Golden Arches seemed like the healthiest option.
When someone suggested that I make meals on the weekend, freeze them, and then pull them out during the week to cook for dinner, initially I balked. I didn’t want to feed my family frozen food. No. I was going to cook healthy, fresh nurturing food.
And the vicious cycle of perfectionism, guilt and ordering food through a loud speaker continued.
It took a while, but I finally broke down and gave freezer cooking a try. And I am here to testify, honey, it changed my life.
So now here I am, 14 years later, still spending a weekend every other month filling up my freezer with meals that my family really loves. Do I wish that I could just shop locally at farmer’s markets and then bring my bounty home and create organic meals every night for an appreciative family? Sometimes. But the reality is I have a healthy, nutritious meal on the table most nights. My kids are healthy and even sometimes, appreciative. Is it perfect? No. Is it better – oh yeah.
After giving up the idea of perfection when it came to dinner times, I was able to figure out the best reality for feeding my family. These silly frozen meals have kept me from stressing out, I have even written a booklet on freezer cooking, do seminars to women’s groups and at one point, had a meal swap with five other women. (We called ourselves Six Chicks Freeze and Fix.)
It is only at the point of giving up on our unrealistic dreams of perfection can we really discover what is best for our life and our situations. I think that most women I know have this in some area of our lives.
For the next three days, I’m going to ask you to do something that takes you aobut five minutes, and here’s my questions: Where’s that time going to come from? Is there something you can do less well to give yourself the extra five minutes?
I don’t want you to pack your already over-packed day with another thing on your to-do list. Tell me one thing you are going to take off your to-do list in today’s comments, and you will be entered into our drawing for Cindi McMenamin’s book, Woman on the Edge and another winner will get The Frozen Gourmet Cookbook.
And remember, everyone who comments this week get put into the drawing for the DORY AWARD!
I apologize for now getting that song stuck in your head – but what better way to kick off our week of “Just Keep Swimming” than being seranaded by Dory?
So what’s your Project for Day #1? Just write something down. That’s it. Now that’s not too scary, is it?
OK – let me be a little more specific.
I want you to spend some time writing down your dreams, your hopes, your “what if”‘s. All those someday things that you want to get to… someday. Brainstorm, be free! (Or if you want a little more direction, read my article on How to Create a 50/50 Journal.)
Now, I want you to pick one of those dreams, goals or crazy ideas, and post it here on the blog. I know, it’s a little scary. But trust me, this is a safe space. For every brave persone who posts their one thing (big or little, huge and crazy, or totally do-able,) I will enter you into the drawing for this journal:
It’s the same “Irish Blessing” journal that started this whole idea for me about writing my goals down.
So post something here by Wednesday at midnight and you will be entered into the drawing. And everyone who comments this whole week will be entered into our drawing for THE DORY AWARD. (The gian stuffed Dory from Finding Nemo.)
First off, I wanted to tell you about a book I just finished that I loved. It’s calledSaving CeeCee Honeycutt and it’s about a middle school girl from the north who is suddenly relocated to Savannah to live with an aunt she had only met as a baby.
It’s a bright, funny and witty story, told entirely from CeeCee’s vantage point. I love the look at life in the south and the strength of women in a young girl’s life.
My brilliant husband, Roger Lipp, has a great blog of tricks and tips for writers and speakers. However, today’s post can apply to us all: How to Organize Your To-Do’s featuring the book Getting Things Done.
Finally, stay tuned Monday through Friday for a Me Project Mini-Challenge. Everyday next week I will give you a project to start living out the plans God has for your life. Each day I will be giving away a great resource, and one lucky (and focused) blog reader will be awarded The Dory Award.
