(Kathi here. This is one of my favorite speakers, Cheri Gregory and I could not be more excited about this project. Join, participate, and, if you’re like me, stop being sarcastic for a while. Really. No, I’m not joking…)
As I thumbed through a copy of A Complaint-Free World five years ago, I considered myself the most optimistic, positive, encouraging (and obviously humble) person I knew.
In fact, I joked to my husband that we needed to buy two (maybe three) dozen copies to give the long list of negative people in my life who drag me down with their never-ending complaints, criticism, and gossip.
Than I read a little farther. And the author had the nerve to suggest that of all the negative people in my life, I might be the worst of the worst!
That. Made. Me. Mad.
So I decided to take the author’s Complaint-Free challenge: 21 days with no complaining. Just to prove how wrong he was, I even ordered his silly little purple bracelet.
The instructions were simple: I was to start each day with the bracelet on my left wrist. As soon as I caught myself complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, I was to move the bracelet to the other wrist.
For accountability, I told my students what I was doing.
Big mistake.
Did my students ever warm up to the “challenge.” In the first class, my bracelet switched arms five times in just three minutes!
The shocker was that each time took me totally by surprise. I wasn’t even thinking critical thoughts, when suddenly, “Mrs. G? Is that complaining I hear?”
I soon discovered that my optimistic self-image resembled reality the way a chick flick resembles marriage: hardly at all.
Sound Familiar?
Maybe you’ve experienced some of the same warning signs I have. See if you identify with any of the following statements:
___ “My life would be much easier without the negative people who drag me down.
___ “I speak Sarcasm fluently.”
___ “When I see a type-o on a sign, I have to point it out to someone.”
___ “I’m surrounded by difficult people at work and/or at home.”
___ “It’s not really gossip; everything we say about her is true.”
___ “There’s an impossible person in my life who will never change.”
___ “I struggle with anxiety, fear, and/or depression.”
___ “Negative things people have said keep popping back into my mind.”
Quite literally, it’s 31 days of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, May 1-31 (with a warm-up week starting April 22.)
I’ve tried the Complaint-Free challenge many times in the last five years. But just trying to stop old bad habits was never enough; I needed to start new ones to replace the old.
Cheri Gregory has been married to her pastor/teacher/musician college sweetheart, Daniel, for 23 years. The Gregorys are enjoying their newly “empty nest,” now that Jonathon (19) has joined Annemarie (21) at college. Cheri is a high school English teacher and Christian speaker/author. Connect with her via Facebook, cheri@cherigregory.com, and www.CheriGregory.com.
Understanding Some of the Things that Hold Us Back
Today: Recognize some of the mental blocks that may be holding you back from either getting started on or completing your goal. Acknowledge them and them deal with the issues. I love a good list.
I love to have a list of everything I want to get done in a day – errands I want to run, plans for dinner and what steps I need to get the family fed. Not only do I love making the list, I love checking things off the list. It actually gives me a little thrill. (I have read that there are more endorphins released in checking something off a list than there are from smiling. I have no problem believing that.) Do you want to know the full extent of my addiction to lists? If I have my daily list, and then I complete something that is not already on that magic piece of paper, I write the item onto the list and then check it off. Finally, at the end of the day, when I feel that I have accomplished everything that I can reasonably accomplish during a day, I will leave the completed list in a strategic spot so that my husband can see it – looking for that outside validation that what I have accomplished during the day is worthy of recognition. I know, I need help.
The only problem with my sick and twisted little system? That one item that doesn’t get done. There is usually a pattern in those undone to-do items. Here are some of the things that usually go un-checked off:
• Taking my old clothes to the donation center
• Taking my car to the carwash
• Balancing our bank accounts
• Going to Costco
• Dusting
There are so many item I get done in a day; cooking dinner, writing a chapter for my book, laundry, writing a speech. Why is it there are something that I just put off and put off until I just can’t stand it anymore?
When I take a closer look at the list, and dig a little deeper, I can start to see some of the underlying reasons that I procrastinate. Just a few examples: Taking my old clothes to the donation center A few years ago, I took a vanload of items to our local Goodwill. When I got there, the man who was receiving donations took one look at the back of my van and said is a condescending, and somewhat hostile voice, “You know, we only take items in good condition. We don’t accept junk.” I wanted to crawl under my minivan. Everything that I was donating was in great condition; some of the clothes even had their tags left on them. I never would dream of donating anything that wasn’t in great shape. This man made a snap judgment – based on what? I don’t know. But ever since, I have put off making a donation out of the fear of feeling shamed again.
Taking my car to the carwash
Isn’t it silly that something as simple as taking my car to get washed can seem so overwhelming? Most of the speaking I do is in California, so instead of flying wherever I need to be, I usually just pack up the van. I load it up with suitcases of books and props and CDs for each event. I resemble to Clampetts moving to Beverly (Hills that is. Swimming pools, movies stars…) So when it comes to getting my car washed, I know that I first need to unload the car. But I can’t just unload the car, I have to put everything away. And in putting everything away, I need to deal with all of the projects that go along with that (restocking my book inventory for my next speaking engagement, reordering books, following up with audience members that asked me to send them things, etc.). When I think about all that I need to do to have a clean van, I realize that, in that moment, it feels a lot easier to just put it off.
Balancing our Bank Accounts
Does this one really need any explanation? Facing the reality of where our money is going, looking at some of the poor choices I have made. (Really, how many shoes do I really need? Apparently the answer is always, “One more pair.”) Reality is not a whole lot of fun.
Going to Costco
I never want to make the trip to the big box store unless I have everything prepared: Do we have a list that everyone in the family has added to? (because there is nothing worse than coming back from a $400 shopping trip and having one of my boys say, “Why is there never anything to eat in this house?”) Have I cleaned out the freezer and fridge so there is room for what we are purchasing? Will there be someone at home to help me unload and put away all the 50 pound bag of dog food for the 25 pound dog? As I wait for all the stars to line up and for that perfect time for the shopping trip, my Costco trips, which I should do about once a month, end up becoming a twice-a-year-more-planning-than-an-excursion-to-the-North-Pole nightmare.
Dusting
Hate it. Wish someone else would just do it for me. In all of these situations, I have had to look at the underlying case of my procrastination and find the more appropriate (ie – the least painful) way to deal with it.
A Checklist (you know I love those) of How to Stop Procrastinating
•Break it Down – It is so easy to become overwhelmed with a huge task – and so much easier to just put off getting started. Break your task into 5 minute doable steps – instead of putting the goal of “Write an article for the local parenting magazine” in front of you, break it down into “Spend five minutes looking at past copies of the magazine” or “Create a rough outline for the article”. Make it something you could do in five minutes to feel that adrenalin rush of a check mark.
•Deal with the Feelings – If you are postponing doing a certain task because you feel that you may not do it well, or someone else will critique you for the way you are doing it, recognize it and deal with it. Now when I am preparing things to take to the Goodwill, I double check everything to make sure it would be something I would be fine wearing (or fine with someone I love wearing.) If so, I donate with confidence, knowing that it is someone else’s issue if they are not happy with my offering. It is the same in areas of performance. We need to give ourselves permission to be messy as we grow in our skills. Everything is not going to look perfect the first time out. Make sure you are showing whatever you are working on to a “safe” person. Someone who is going to encourage you, and at the same time, give you valuable, constructive feedback.
•Settle for Less Than Perfect – If you wait until everything is perfect, you will get nothing done (or even started.) Be willing to be messy in getting things done. So what if you have to go back to the library because you forgot to write a book down on your list. You probably didn’t need 12 books on watercolor to get you started – 11 are fine.
•Imagine the Worst – Then Do it Anyway – I put off so much stuff because of perceived fears and imagined obstacles. The reality of the situation usually turns out to be nothing like my imagined fears. I love this story from Pierce Vincent Eckhart: When I was a Boy Scout, we played a game when new Scouts joined the troop. We lined up chairs in a pattern, creating an obstacle course through which the new Scouts, blindfolded, were supposed to maneuver. The Scoutmaster gave them a few moments to study the pattern before our adventure began. But as soon as the victims were blindfolded, the rest of us quietly removed the chairs. I think life is like this game. Perhaps we spend our lives avoiding obstacles we have created for ourselves and in reality exist only in our minds. We’re afraid to apply for that job, take violin lessons, learn a foreign language, call an old friend, write our Congressman – whatever it is that we would really like to do but don’t because of perceived obstacles. Don’t avoid any chairs until you run smack into one. And if you do, at least you’ll have a place to sit down.
•Quiet the Voices – If you are convinced that the next step is the one that you are supposed to take, don’t worry about what others are going to say if it doesn’t turn out. So what if your dad told you that you were not graceful – take that beginner tap class and thoroughly enjoy every step of it. Have you always told yourself that you are not artistic, but would love to know how to design websites? A lot of the artistic stuff is inborn talent, but a lot of it is just plain knowing the “rules” of art – balance and color can, to a large extent, be taught. Your work may never hang in the Louvre, but your favorite non-profit might just be thrilled to have your unique touch on their website.
In the comments below tell me what is the one thing hanging you up. Now try to get it done today!
Working on Your Goals When You Don’t Have Time to Work On Your Goals
Finding Time to Make it all Happen
Today: Identify the little spots of time you have right now to make progress on your goals.
How to Waste Time on Your Laptop – an Expert’s Guide (or, My Real Life Strategy for Getting Things Done.) Don’t you just love your computer?!?! It is such a time saving device. I can do my banking, order groceries, talk to my agent, invite friends over via evite.com, and design my next newsletter anywhere in the world that has a Verizon tower nearby. It is amazing all the tasks I can get completed the aid of a power outlet.
So why have I spent a large part of my summer playing Free Cell?
I have just hit some major deadlines in my life after 18 months of running at full steam ahead. I realized just this last week apparently I am not capable of work unless I am under tremendous pressure and have a sense of overwhelming guilt. I just kind of sat there thinking, “I know I have things to do, but I don’t want to do any of them.” Real mature attitude – yes?
So I have got to go back to giving myself some rules and boundaries when it comes to my time on the computer.
Here are some of the rules that I am now abiding by when it comes to time wasters:
1. No More than 20 minutes on Facebook a day. I have to tell you, I loves me some Facebook. I love seeing what old friends are up to. I love hearing about the little things in my niece’s life that my brother probably wouldn’t call to tell me, (“Elsa said A-B-C today. We have started the Harvard Fund.”) Love hearing the latest industry buzz and reading what my favorite authors and readers are up to. Love Love Love.
And that is where the trouble begins.
I love checking out what everyone else is up to, and can get super caught up in commenting on people’s status. That is fine when I am standing in line at Safeway. But when I should be writing my next chapter on time management? Not so much. So when I am at home, I am keeping my Facebook addiction down to 20 minutes.
2. Clear out my inbox once a week. I will do anything to avoid answering unpleasant or complicated e-mails (see my Free Cell reference above.) So I have been giving myself a weekly inbox dump where everything must be dealt with (and then I reward myself with an episode of Top Chef – hey, it’s better than chocolate chip cookies.)
3. Turn the Wireless Off for a Chunk of Time – Every Single Day Twitter and Facebook and E-mail – Oh My! I have several ways to keep myself entertained on my computer. I love hitting the reload button on my Outlook to see what new mail I have sitting there (yes, we have already established I have a problem. Now let’s move on, shall we?)
So, for about 3 hours every day, I turn off my wireless and concentrate on just working. Whether it is writing a blog post, writing a chapter, brainstorming a new speaking topic or having a conversation with a client, I focus completely on the task at hand and not on the e-mail that I am waiting for.
I call this my “Cave Time” and it is the only portion of the day that I can trust myself to do anything that involves numbers or creativity (which for me, both require super-human concentration.) Now don’t get me wrong – a little Free Cell every once in a while is a good thing. But I want my computer to be a tool to get more things done, instead of a distraction that keeps me from getting things done. (I can watch all the cute cats on You Tube I want once my speech is written!)
Maybe wasting time on your computer is not your vice. When I asked a group of women what their secret (or not-so-secret) time sucker were, here is a list of what they came up with:
• Celebrity Gossip
• Phone time with friends
• Texting
• Glamour Magazine
• Shopping (for self and kids)
• Looking for recipes
• “Stupid” TV
• YouTube
• Solitaire
• Twitter and Facebook
All of these things, in moderation, are fine for most of us. But, I know that I have let an hour of writing time turn into “Just checking out a few LOLCATS pics. Gulp.
Fear of Success Sometimes, it can be a bit scary to start working on things we are passionate about. If we never get started, we never get disillusioned. It is a lot easier to give up on a game of Spider Solitaire or watch Entertainment tonight than to get frustrated by bumping up against obstacles while working toward your goals.
I have to set up rules for myself when it comes to computer time. Is there an area of your life that you need to get in control of, time-wise, in order to get stuff done? How will you do it – set time controls on your computer? Have a friend hold you accountable?
I have given myself a not so subtle reminder. Whenever I open up my computer, there is a quote that pops up to remind me how I need to choose to spend my time…
“Lost time is never found again.” – Benjamin Franklin
In the commetns below tell me is there an area of your life that you need to get in control of, time-wise, in order to get stuff done? How will you do it? You could win Just too busy: Taking your family on a radical sabbatical by Joanne Kraft.
Today: Schedule in times of real rest in your day, week and month as you are working toward your goals.
I sigh as my husband Roger and I are driving over highway 17 heading towards Santa Cruz. Driving over the mountains toward the beach and the boardwalk, surrounded by redwoods and local farms and state parks. “Do you realize how blessed we are to live where we do?” “Yes.” Roger replied. “And if I didn’t, you saying it every day of our marriage would remind me.” I didn’t realize how deep my love for the Bay Area ran until Roger pointed out that I commented on it every single day. (He should be doubly grateful – I was born in Northern California – he moved here from Indiana where digging his car out snow before driving it during the winter was a common occurrence.) But how can you blame me? We live less than a half a day’s drive almost anything you can think of: the beach during the summer, the mountains during ski season, San Francisco when there is a musical coming through, great ethnic restaurants, and not once have I had to dig my car out a blanket of snow. There is only one thing missing from our little corner of paradise – a Chick-fil-a.
If you have not experienced the perfection that is the Chick-fil-a Chicken Sandwich, let me describe it for you. It is a chicken patty that is breaded and then deep friend in peanut oil (trust me, it works) it is served on a buttered bun with two pickle slices (they say that you can add tomatoes and lettuce, but why ruin it with healthy stuff.) Chick-fil-a also has a healthy menu. Whatever.
I love Chick-fil-a and what they stand for and their chicken sandwiches so much, that at one point, I had a Google alert for articles about how they run their business. (I’m not just a fan, I’m a super fan.) As I started to read more and more about how they run their business and the values that they have, I fell in love with them for more than their deep-fried chicken breast. This is an amazing company that values their employees and customers. Chick-fil-a is very selective about who gets to sling that chicken. “It’s easier to get a job in the CIA than to own a Chick-fil-A franchise,” is a favorite saying at the corporate office. They have one of the highest employee retention rates in any service industry. Part of that is the careful screening they do before hiring someone. Another reason? No Chick-fil-a is open on Sunday.
While visiting our friends Steve and Shannon in Colorado Springs, they introduced us to Chick-fil-a and then told us the closed on Sunday policy. I know that Steve and Shannon are intelligent people, but I honestly believed that they had to be mistaken. Fast food restaurants are not closed for a whole day. I had worked in the service industry enough to know that Sunday was a major money-making day. Industry experts were baffled as well. But listen to this response that Dan Cathy, president and Chief Operations Officer of Chick-fil-a, gave to talk show host Dave Ramsey when Dave asked the question about the business sense of closing on Sundays. “My younger brother and sister and I signed a covenant of agreement that we gave our parents about five years ago that said that long after they’re gone, assuming that we survive them, that we’re going to continue to be closed on Sunday. To be honest with you our corporate purpose is to glorify God by being the faithful steward of all He has entrusted to us and have a positive influence on people.
But I would share with you that as a business person it really does work for us. It makes a difference. We are more rested on Monday because you’ve been able to take the day off to rest and renew ourselves. Our smiles are bigger and I think even our Drive-thrus run a little faster on Monday because we had Sunday off.
We are not built 24-7. God built our body to have eight hours of sleep and to take some time off. And we found that we pick up on that productivity. Any business we lose on Sunday we more than make up for a better service and better atmosphere on Monday.”
Sabbath – Not Just for Old Testament Folks
OK there is some stuff in the Bible that doesn’t make a whole bunch of sense to me:
Leviticus 19:19
Don’t let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle
Don’t have a variety of crops on the same field
Don’t wear clothes made of more than one fabric And I have to admit, that observing a Sabbath was one of those rules that felt a lot like the instructions not to mix a cotton-weave with a poly-blend – a bit antiquated. Observing a Sunday off is a hard thing. I was talking about the concept of a Sabbath with my agent, Rachelle. She said, “If I want to observe a Sabbath, I need to prepare for six hours on Saturday to be able to rest on Sunday. If my husband wants to observe Sabbath, he takes a nap.”
But the more that Roger and I were intentional about having a day to rest, a day to put away our computers, not plan work, and focus on God, our family and restoring ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually, the more we feel we are able to slide back into work having taken our stress down a level or two.
I have definitely discovered in my own life that when I indulge in the false economy of trying to get more done by work seven days a week, not only do I suffer, but my goals suffer. That is why I want you to rest your way to success.
• Make sure you have some “down time” every week where your focus is not getting things done, but getting deeper with God and with community, and getting rest.
• Make sure you have a beginning and an end to each week.
• Make sure you have a beginning and an end to each work day. (No spreading work from eight in the morning until ten at night). I know the last project you would expect is for me to say work less. But I do want you to make sure that you don’t burn out. I want you to be living a life that is full of God-adventure for years to come.
So tell me in the comments below below – when are you going to rest.
Getting a Couple of People to Hold You Accountable
Today: Find a couple of women to hold you accountable for your goal. I could be the women you are already working this book with, or it could be women who have the same goals as you do.
The Goal Girls started six years ago when every area of my life was in transition. My marriage was falling apart and I found myself back in the job market to support myself and my kids. On top of all that, I needed to find a new place to live. I felt like everything was spinning out of control.
I knew that I also needed to makes some changes in other areas of my life. Spending time with God had become a faint memory for me. I wanted to reconnect in a real way, but I was having trouble being committed to my day-to-day relationship with Him.
I needed support that was more than a once-a-week Bible study. I needed people around me to love and guide me through this hurtful time in my life.
At the same time, my friend Vikki, a 30 year-old wife and mother, was just plain overwhelmed. With her two active kids, and another on the way, she was feeling the pressures of keeping it all together. In addition to taking care of her family, Vikki worked outside the home several nights a month, and was the women’s ministry leader at our growing church. The fast pace of Vikki’s life was threatening to swallow her up if she didn’t makes some changes immediately.
Another friend, Angela, young and vibrant at 34, had an even more desperate situation. Complicating her busy life caring for her two small girls, her health was in serious jeopardy and she knew that she had to take some radical steps including losing weight and exercising in order to start restoring herself physically so that she could lead a normal life.
All of us were longing for change. We wanted to live healthier lives, not just physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. Each of us needed help figuring out what God designed us to do, but we also needed a way of making sure that we stayed on track- someone to hold our feet to the fire.
I asked Angela and Vikki if they would be interested in trying an accountability group. I was honest and upfront,” I had no idea how it would work, but I am so frustrated and scared that I am willing to try just about anything. I guess we can just make it up as we go along?” Apparently, they were just as desperate and we decided to meet the next week.
That was eight years ago, and we are still supporting each other, praying for each other and holding each other in godly accountability.
What is Accountability?
Accountability is simply having to report to someone the progress you are making on an activity. When you work in an office, you’re accountable to a boss for the work that she assigns you. Even if you are a self-starter, most of us need that little bit of outside pressure to get our jobs done well and on time. What do you do when you‘re running a household, your own business, and your own life, and there is no “boss” to answer to? Asking other women to hold you accountable is a great way to have a little bit of that outside pressure to help you stay on track. Vikki, Angela and I sacrifice time from our overcrowded lives to stay accountable to one another because it is biblical and it works. Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Being with one other and holding one another accountable keeps us focused and on task.
How is accountability different than a support group?
Generally support groups include organizations that focus either on a stage of life (including mom’s groups or after divorce groups), or a specific area to overcome (Overeaters Anonyms or Alcoholics Anonyms.) Generally these groups have up to dozens of members at each meeting. While support groups offer an environment to meet with others who are in your situation and the opportunity to learn and be encouraged, there is generally a lower level of follow up for individual members.
Accountability groups offer the chance to meet with one or two other people in order to stay focused on whatever area of their life they are trying to grow in at that time. While neither Angela nor Vikki are writers or step-mothers, they are able to hold me accountable in those areas by following-up on the goals I have set for myself and shared with them at past gatherings.
What it looks like for us
We came to our once a month meetings prepared with our goals already written out. I dedicate one sheet of paper to each area of my life. There is a page dedicated to health, another for important relationships in my life, one for household management, and so on. Sometimes my goal list will be much longer in one area than another. When one of my kids needs special attention, or I have good friend who is going through a tough time, I may have several goals on my “Relational” page, but almost none in another area. Along with each goal, we set a target date that we want to see the goal completed by. For instance, on my “Spiritual” goal sheet, I might write: Goal Date of Completion Join Bible study September 15th
When we write out our goals, we try to be specific and realistic. Instead of setting a goal of get better at cooking, I might write “Try three new main courses from the new Greek Cookbook”, or “Sign up for the Asian cooking class at the community center.” When I started to focus more on spending time with God, Angela reminded me to be specific and realistic. At first, I had written the goal down as “Spend 45 minutes every day in prayer and quiet time.” Angela graciously but firmly challenged me on my completely unrealistic goal. “Kath, how are you going to go from 0 to 45 minutes? Why don’t you start with five minutes a day and build on that.” From that five minute block of time, I have grown into having a meaningful and significant quiet time every day.
When we first started meeting eight years ago, we were in for a reality check. Over the first few months of sharing, we learned to gently say to each other, “Wow, that looks like a lot to accomplish with two kids and everything else going on in your life. Is it realistic? Is there something that you could give up or move to another month?” We have learned to protect each other from overextending ourselves, and in turn, have learned to take care of our own schedules and bodies.
The next time we get together, we give each person 40 minutes to go over last month’s goals and set out her vision for the next month. We make copies of our goals that we can pass out to the other two. That way, we have an easier time checking in with each other.
Between each meeting, we stay up to date on where each of us is in meeting our goals set out at the last meeting, as well as asking for additional support when we need it. For example, the weeks before I moved to a different city, I needed more support, what we lovingly call “kick-butt accountability”, in staying focused and on track with getting my house packed up and ready to be sold. During those pressure-filled weeks, I would receive several phone calls a day asking how my plan was going. Just knowing that Vikki or Angela could be calling at any moment gave me the extra push I needed to stay on track and tackle what had to be done.
Your accountability group can also be focused on one specific area of your life. I have separate groups for more complex goals I am currently on: health and writing. These groups give me the special support I need to accomplish bigger projects in those areas.
The Benefits of Accountability
Our group has gotten the three of us through life together. Angela and Vikki have prayed and held me accountable through the hardest time of my life. During the rough days, it was a huge comfort to know that I had two godly women who knew what I was going through and could remind me that God had designed me for a greater purpose than what I felt like at the moment.
Following my divorce, I really wrestled with the question of where God was in my life. I felt abandoned and unloved. It was Vikki and Angela who reminded me of all that God had brought me through, and pointed out all the ways that God continued to care for me even when I couldn’t feel his presence.
Getting through rough times is a blessing, but the most thrilling part of accountability is seeing the progress in each other’s lives. It’s been an honor to stand with Angela and Vikki as I’ve seen them accomplish goals that none of us would have dreamed possible just a few short years ago. From keeping our houses clean, to losing weight to opening a small business to walking a half marathon–no goal is too big to not be supported. On the flip side, no goal is too small that it is not celebrated when it is reached. Plus, the biggest honor was to have these two ladies celebrate with me as bridesmaids at my wedding to Roger. While people who attended the wedding were excited to celebrate our new lives together, Angela and Vikki were two of the people who had walked me back to a place of loving and growing in God – a place of health and healing. These women were not only celebrating the future I had with Roger, but the past that they had walked me though to get to the place where I could be part of a healthy marriage.
In the comments below tell me if you are part of an accountability group and if not if you have asked someone to be your accountability partner after reading this. You could win Cindi McMenamin’s book Women on the Edge: Turning Desperate Times into Desire for God
Today: Check in with God with some concentrated prayer and meditation. (Talking to God, and then listening to Him.) Even if it is just for 10 minutes, get quite with God listen for His direction when it comes to your goal.
My husband Roger and I had just landed at Tampa International Airport. While the purpose of our travel was to visit Roger’s parents, we decided to sneak in some “couple’s time” before heading to the family reunion.
Roger had booked a romantic hotel on the beach only two miles from the airport. Since airlines do not provide meals anymore, our combined food intake for the cross-country journey from California consisted of three bags of peanuts and a half a box of Altoids I rescued from the bottom of my bag. We were anxious to stow our suitcases at the hotel and head out for our beach-side dinner.
As we picked up our rental car, I was eager to try out the new navigational system Roger just bought me. You see, I have a tendency to get lost while I am driving… even in areas I have been to several times. Roger said he bought the new GPS system for my safety. Really, I think he got tired of guiding me in like an air traffic controller every time I was more than three miles from the house.
I love my new mapping device – with one tiny exception. When you first turn on the display, Maggie (our pet-name for our electronic guide) needs about 15 seconds to figure out where the satellite is. This process goes much faster if you stay put. If you start to drive, it could take up to whole two minutes for her to figure out where you are.
I have never been known as a patient woman. Even 15 seconds is about 14 seconds too long. Growing weary of waiting I asked Roger, “Can’t we just get going and it will catch up with us.” Roger knew the general direction of the hotel, so we hit the road. Our destination was only a couple of miles away. What could go wrong?
After a few minutes, and a turn on to an onramp, Maggie, finally came blinking to life with directions and distance … 22.2 miles!
How did our “couple of miles away” hotel turn into a 22 mile trek? That is when I discovered something I had never experienced in California called a “causeway.”
A causeway is a road that goes over a body of water. Like the body of water between the Tampa International Airport and St. Petersburg, Florida. Because there tends not to be a convenient place to turn around while traveling over water, and the fact our car was not Herbie the Love Bug with the ability to float, we were stuck going the whole distance over the causeway. And back – 22.2 miles round trip.
If we had only taken the 14 extra seconds to wait for directions – instead of going off on our own – we would have saved time, aggravation and grief.
Soon after our ill-fated trip, I was doing my morning devotionals and this verse popped out at me: It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. – Proverbs 19:2
Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?
Traveling with Maggie is a lot like figuring out the path God wants you to follow for your life and for your goals. The parallels show up for me almost every time I get lost. OK, almost every time I leave the house.
Gifts of the Maggie #1 You will be much better off if you wait for directions.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. – Proverbs 16:3
As women, we don’t have an excess of time or energy to be heading off in the wrong direction while chasing after our dreams. We need a much simpler, direct route. Time and commitment spent up-front praying and listening to God for direction will always be rewarded down the road.
Sometimes in my enthusiasm to get closer to my goals, I have an “Act Now, Pray Later” attitude. I get impatient and want to get going with all the plans and dreams I have for my life – now. When I act out of desire, enthusiasm, or trying to simply check things off my list, I usually end up wasting time, energy and emotion.
Like Maggie, God has a lot of rewards for those who wait on direction from Him. When I pray before I act, I may not have clear direction all at once. What I can be sure of is the fact that I have put my plans before God. I am honoring Him first in everything I do, every plan I make.
Gifts of the Maggie #2 You don’t need to know every turn that is coming up – you just need to know what your next step is.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34 Don’t ever try to give me directions over the phone. I am good for about two turns and then my brain starts to think about the Discovery Channel special I saw last night, or tries to figure out when the cute pink bag I saw at the mall might go on sale. When I get directions all at once, trying to hold everything in my head about the next eight turns I need to make it is almost always a guarantee I am going to get hopelessly lost, confused, frustrated and off-track. The beauty of Maggie is that she only gives you the next turn you have to make.
As busy women, we can get bogged down by the magnitude of all we have to do. If we start to look too closely at all is involved in having a rewarding career or raising great kids and pursuing our dream, it would be very easy to get completely overwhelmed.
A better approach is to take each day as it comes. Planning for the future is great. Worrying about it will get you nowhere. Keep your final destination in mind, and concern yourself with the turn just ahead of you. God is the only one who can see around the corner.
The other benefit of just focusing on the turn right in front of you, and not worrying about the next seven that are coming up, is getting to enjoy the ride. When you have a dream that is bigger than yourself, there are many opportunities to step out in faith and see God’s hand working in your life.
I tend to miss the miracles in the moment when I am worrying about what has to happen next month. Just concentrate on the next turn and enjoy the ride.
Gifts of the Maggie #3 Trust the directions- even if they are different than what you expect. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” – Isaiah 30:21
Sometimes for fun, I will check out Maggie’s directions to a familiar place, just to see if she has a different way of getting there. Often times, she will have a shortcut I didn’t know about, or there is a new road I had yet to discover. I have learned a lot by going in different directions than I originally thought.
Today, I just want you to spend some time checking in with God. Am I going in the right direction? Do you want me to press forward on something, or wait? Learning to be sensitive to God’s leading is a skill we can develop. Tell us in the comments below how you are going to stop and spend time with God today and everyday. Is it a coffe date alone, during the kids nap time, getting up earlier, or during a lunch break? If you feel led to do so share with me what God is directing you to do, press on, wait or be still.
Cheri Gregory has been married to her pastor/teacher/musician college sweetheart, Daniel, for 23 years. The Gregorys are enjoying their newly “empty nest,” now that Jonathon (19) has joined Annemarie (21) at college. Cheri is a high school English teacher and Christian speaker/author. Connect with her via Facebook, cheri@cherigregory.com, and www.CheriGregory.com.
