by kathilipp | Mar 17, 2008 | The Husband Project |
It’s time to think about food, glorious food.
My husband loves a candy called Cherry Sours. They’re little red sugar balls that he’s in love with. To me, they taste like the stuff your dentist uses to rinse out your mouth after a painful cleaning.
So, I try to find Cherry Sours, whenever I can. They can be very hard to locate, so when I do, I stock up – without Roger knowing. Then, when he’s having a rough time at work, or I want to say congratulations for a job well done, I break out the Cherry Sours.
Is there a treat that you personally find revolting that your husband loves? Get it for him, letting him know through this small act, “This is all for you, baby!” (And if you truly don’t like the treat, he won’t feel obligated to share.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, I want my husband to know he is honored and cherished, even in the little things I do for him.
Getting Creative
Stumped for ideas? Here are some thoughts:
- Get his favorite pint of Ben & Jerry’s and hide it behind the frozen chicken, part way down in the deep freeze. Even if you buy it on Tuesday you’ll have it ready and waiting for his special night later in the week.
- Is there a certain cut of meat your husband loves? How about having the butcher cut something just for him?
- Is there a certain candy your husband relishes from his childhood? Check out www.candywarehouse.com. They have all the nostalgic candy you could ever want (Black Jack gum, anyone?) while also carrying any modern favorite you might be searching for.
Your Project:
Get a food treat for your husband that he’s not required to share with you or any other family member.
What’s your husband’s favorite treat, and how did he respond when he got it? Click here to leave a comment.
by kathilipp | Mar 16, 2008 | The Husband Project |
As cliché as it may sound, our husbands want to be our heroes.
More than they want to know we love them, they want to know we respect them. They need to know they’re never the butt of our jokes; that, instead, they’re the go-to-guy in every story we tell.
Step One: Make an opportunity today to brag on your husband to someone else. Doesn’t matter if it’s one of your friends or one of his. Let that somebody know how lucky you are to be married to the guy that you have.
Step Two: Let your husband know you bragged on him. He needs to know that he’s the good guy in every story you tell.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight.
Getting Creative
Who are the important people in your husband’s life? Your kids, his parents, his friends? Be intentional about whom you chat with when you brag on him – it’s almost as important as actually doing it.
Having a hard time coming up with something? I still brag on my guy for things he did years ago. He loves when I tell the story of how brilliantly he proposed (there were waterfalls and stuffed portabella mushrooms involved…).
Your Project:
Say something nice about your husband to someone else. Make sure you share with him what you said, and to whom.
Tell us what wonderful gossip you spread about your guy; click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 14, 2008 | The Husband Project |
Most guys don’t spend a lot of time hanging out with their buddies-you are their buddy. They married you to have a built in friend to do those things with (the fact that the two of you can have sex is definitely a bonus as well…)
My husband loves to go to the woods, build a fire and have a cookout. I’m more of an eating-out-with-white-tablecloths kind of girl. But, you know while we were dating, I was the happiest “camper” around. I would have hunted wild moose just to be with him.
It’s time to think about those things your husband loves to do with you-his buddy. Maybe it’s hiking up a mountain, hanging out at Best Buy, or watching his alma mater’s team play football at the local high school. Doesn’t matter if you like it or not-your fun will come from watching the look on your husband’s face as he reclaims some of his long forgotten loves. (Video gaming, anyone?)
Prayer for Today
Dear God, I pray that my husband can view me as his friend and lover, as you have designed.
Your Project:
Initiate a time to do something your husband used to love. Whether it’s his favorite hobby, sport or pastime, it’s time for you to get involved. Be his buddy today.
Tell us what you did that was like “back in the day…”. Click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 13, 2008 | The Husband Project |
It’s time to talk about sex, ladies.
Your man needs and wants sex, probably more than you do.
If a man feels like he’s desirable to you, the love of his life, the other areas that he may be struggling in (work, parenting, etc.) seem somehow more manageable.
One time this week, it’s your job to initiate sex. For some of you, this is going to be way beyond your comfort zone. Do what you can – if it means snuggling, do that. The idea here is to take the first step and be open and tender.
In my experience, it’s better to shoot for earlier in the week to “make your move,” so that if things come up (he has to work late, sick kids, etc.) you still have some time to check this off your list.
In preparation for your romantic evening, I encourage you to pick up a book on the subject. Let it be your inspiration in case things have become a little predictable (or downright non-existent).
Two of my favorites, both written by Dr. Kevin Leman:
“Sex Begins in the Kitchen” & “Sheet Music”
To leave a comment, click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 13, 2008 | The Husband Project |
How do you greet your husband at the end of a long day?
If you get home first, do you meet him at the door with a list of things that needs to be done, a list of complaints about your day, or perhaps, an armful of kids?
If he gets home before you, do you walk in with a list of demands for the rest of the night?
Most men are looking for are a few minutes to transition from work to home. Focus on his transition tonight. If you have kids, let them give dad a quick hug and tussle. If it’s just the two of you, give him a quick kiss then tell him the next half an hour is his to do with as he wishes; lay down, watch TV, read a book, play a video game-whatever. The choice is his.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, help me to drop the to-do list for my husband today and focus on who he is not just what he can do.
Getting Creative
There are plenty of reasons why it might not be easy for you to give your husband some transition time at the end of the day. We need to look at what can work for our relationship. Be creative, like the stories listed below. Brainstorm with your friends until you find a situation that will work for you and your guy.
- My friend, Joann, purposely scheduled her daughter’s dance classes twice a week at the same hour that her husband gets home from work. That way, her hubby comes home to an empty house. He gets some quiet, and she gets a more peaceful man.
- One husband has his workshop out in the garage. His wife encourages him to go and hang out there for a while before dinner. (Since starting this arrangement, her husband has started helping out with the after-dinner clean up. Nice side benefit.)
- Crock-pots are The Husband Project’s best friend. Set your crock-pot to finish thirty minutes after your husband gets home from work. Let him know you don’t need anything until dinner is ready.
- Some husbands want to connect with their wives for their 30 minutes (different guys, different needs…). One wife who worked on this project, made a point of asking her husband about his day instead of giving him a 30-minute answer to his question about her day.
Your Project:
Focus on your husband’s “transitional” 30 minutes today. Use one of the suggestions above or come up with our own plan. The point is to let your husband know you value what he does out in the world and there’s a safe loving place to come home and refresh at the end of the day.
Click here to let us know how your guy enjoyed his free time.
by kathilipp | Mar 12, 2008 | The Husband Project |
What does your husband consider relaxing?
One of the most marriage-testing conversations a couple can have takes place in the aisles of your local video store. You want romance and subtitles – he wants guns and grunts.
Let him win the media wars as you suggest an action-packed, car-chasing-things-exploding thriller.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, help me enjoy the things my husband enjoys. Let him see that I try to connect with him in ways that are big and small.
Getting Creative
- It doesn’t matter if this happens at home or the local Cineplex. Just find the movie and go.
- Don’t want your husband’s suspicions aroused? If you’re renting, perhaps get two movies – one you both agree on and one just for him.
Your Project:
Find a movie that he will love and watch it together – without whining.
Tell us about your macho movie night; click here.
