A year ago we moved into a wonderful home after living in a tiny apartment for three and a half years. I had visions of making this place a home, but we ended up dumping boxes on the floor and leaving them there. When people came to visit, I picked up all the stuff around the common living areas, stuffed it into grocery bags, and hid the bags next to the boxes in my master bedroom making sure to keep the door closed.
It isn’t fun to sleep surrounded by chaos, but any time I would set out to clean things up, I was so overwhelmed not knowing where to start or what to do with all of the things in the piles on the floor. I’d end up literally feeling exhausted and take a nap. The chaos was like kryptonite defeating my best plans.
Reading Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free gave me the information I needed to not only deal with the physical aspect of the chaos but also understand the mental and spiritual aspects of WHY I make the choice to hold on to things or continue to believe that purchasing more stuff will make me happy. The first part of the book had such great insight that explained exactly what is flawed with my thinking about stuff.
It’s tempting to skip this information and just get to the “how to” part of the book, but understanding the WHY was the permanent change in the way I think about everything in my house that I needed. Even though I focused on decluttering my master bedroom first, I found myself questioning the value of items I came across in every room and closet throughout the house. Now, I can’t help but declutter as I go about my daily routine and come across items asking myself, “Do I currently use it? Do I really love it? Would I buy it again?” Heck, I even watched my husband throw away a piece of equipment when he finally admitted that it wasn’t worth keeping around because when he did try to use it, it only worked half of the time.
I spend my time blogging and speaking to women about identifying their priorities and arranging their lives to reflect those priorities. Whether it’s Christmas, your New Year’s goals, or how you want to raise your children, when you identify what means the most to you, you realize what DOESN’T and you can get rid of those things. Kathi hit it on the head when she wrote:
At some point, we need to end some things so we can hold on to the things that are most important to us. And when we define the things that are truly important to us, we can start recognizing the things that are not important to us and eliminate those things from our life.
Once I got that concept regarding my stuff, the chaos no longer had control over me. I had the power to look at sections of my house and attack them with the game plan Kathi explains so simply.
This book isn’t about micromanaging the possessions we have, it’s about not letting the emotional aspect of the possessions run our lives. Because of understanding the “why” and learning the “how to” that is in Clutter Free, I know what to keep and what to give away. It’s freeing and now when I go to bed, instead of being surrounded by boxes, bags, and stress, I’m surrounded by peace, comfort, and beauty.
Our post today contains Mary Lou Caskey’s testimonial about Clutter Free.
“Kathi, thank you so much for your book, Clutter Free: Quick and Easy Steps to Simplifying Your Space.
You shine in so many areas, including encouraging others with God’s Grace, making changes from the inside-out and making things FUN!
I appreciate how the book is written from someone who understands the struggle! The book is filled with GOLDEN NUGGETS that honestly relate to so many areas of life, not just clutter!
Your teaching and tips resonate with me and have made a difference in my life. For example, in just one 15 minute project alone, I received peace, clarity, freedom, hope and so much more.
I had stacks of “ideas” that were costing me time and mental energy to go through each time I needed to find an idea! You will see from the photos that I now have a “clean slate” to work with. Thank you!”
Here is Mary Lou’s before picture of her desk:
Here is picture of Mary Lou’s desk after she spent a little bit of time decluttering:
If you want to read more about Mary Lou’s experience with Clutter Free, visit her blog!
Mary Lou Caskey trains Christian coaches and communicators to influence hearts through the power of story. If you want to become a transformative story-teller, click here to connect with Mary Lou and get her free quiz, “Is It the Best Time to Share a Personal Story?”
Are you ready to be Clutter Free? Start the 21-Day Clutter Free challenge! Sign up now!
Are you ready to be Clutter Free? Start the 21-Day Clutter Free challenge! Sign up now!
I was thrilled to join Kathi’s launch team for Clutter Free: Quick and Easy Steps to Simplifying Your Space. I frequently blog about cleaning and organizing. (My blog is even named This Simple Home. Unfortunately, simple living is more of a goal than our current status.) I have a much deeper problem of STUFF. With a home overwhelmed with stuff, cleaning and organizing are futile. Kathi doesn’t just challenge and motivate us to remove the clutter from our home, she asks us to examine ourselves to get the heart of the matter of why we bring more into our homes so it can stop.
I’ve read a number of articles and books about cleaning and organizing, but Clutter Free is the first to focus upon my problem of clutter. In addition to the typical, “Do I use it? Do I love it?” questions, Kathi has added an all-important question to ask myself: “Would I buy it again?” Whether I am going through my kitchen gadgets, my children’s clothing, or my office supplies this question is key for me.
In about twenty minutes, I cleaned out my kitchen gadget drawer. Using Kathi’s three-box and two-bag system, I found 18 items to donate, 14 to trash, and 20 which needed a new home. That’s 52 items which didn’t deserve to be in one drawer!
Next, I took my boxes and bags to the basement. The whole basement is a problem area (linked to additional photos of my reality). As Kathi suggested, I chose a smaller area to work and filled my boxes and bags.
That’s right. The cheap, white piece of furniture is missing a drawer front. Don’t worry…it’s empty. Just sitting there taking up space in the basement. It makes perfect sense, right?Yet, before long, I made some excellent progress.
This is the new area. As I work to clean the entire basement, I’m sure this desk will be a bit of a work space. After that, we’ll reevaluate its usefulness. I set the crate of children’s books in that convenient spot so I can fill it with even more book to remove from our home. The shelf has the craft items on it. This past summer we set up the shelf and purchased the plastic shoeboxes. Before that, all of that shelved items were on, under, and around the desk area. Though I haven’t labeled the plastic boxes yet, I can now find what I need.
My husband typically holds onto even more stuff than me. He may not be as enthusiastic as me, but he has surprised me at just how much he is helping by saying we can donate items we’ve been holding onto for far too long…just in case we need them. (Obviously, I related well to the chapter titled “Just in Case.”) I think we both needed Kathi’s 2,000 item clutter challenge.
Within about a week’s time, I have collected 200 items to remove from my home. (I’m keeping track on a 2,000 item printable I created. I even made a separate one for my children.) It’s invigorating. Thank you, Kathi, for writing Clutter Free. It has truly inspired me. I can’t wait to pass it on (to keep my clutter minimal) to another who is ready to make some big changes in her life.
I had just dropped off my kids at school and unlike the many moms who were probably cheering right now after a crazy summer break with the kids, I was crying because of what my daughter said before she got out of the car: “I can’t believe you are making me go back to school when all I want to do is be with you.”
I had kept my children home to homeschool the year before and although it was a special year and my children did wonderfully academically, for different reasons, my husband and I were sending them all back to school. It was actually the same school they had all gone to since preschool, so the other students were not strangers. And I would be working at the school, so our whole family (except my husband) would be together at the same school, but my daughter’s anxiety was steeped in a feeling of not wanting to be left out.
The year before we left to homeschool, there were a few girls who had a sleepover and did not invite my daughter. They were supposed to be her good friends. My little girl didn’t even know what a good friend was anymore.
The practical steps in Kathi’s book, I Need Some Help Here!, gives hope for a mama that feels brokenhearted! From teaching kids how not to be a victim to brainstorming what a good friend is to the most important lesson of empowering our kids to pray, Kathi shares in this journey of protecting our little ones.
“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
To the one who seeks him. . .”
Lamentations 3:25
My daughter found that God’s promise shared in the book was true. For when she went back to school this year, those girls had matured and they all became my daughter’s best friends. In fact, just last week, we took one of the girls out to dinner and she brought up that situation and said how bad she felt for that. It gave my daughter a chance to see that forgiveness can bring healing and God is the One who fills a heart with hope. [Tweet “Forgiveness can bring healing and God is the One who fills a heart with hope.”]
Now my daughter will say that although she loved being homeschooled, she is so happy to have this special year with such good friends before they all go off to high school.
Our lives will never always go according to our plans, so I am thankful for people like Kathi who are willing to share stories of hope and grace so that we know we are not alone in this thing called mothering!
Our author for today’s Bad Mom Monday post is Angie Ryg. Angie has been described as the “fun sister next door.” And like a real sister, she will make you laugh as well as encourage you to drink deeper from the well of God’s grace. Her book Clutter Free Simplicity encourages women to clear the clutter in their hearts and homes by focusing on what is really important — their daily walk with Jesus. She loves to connect with other women about mothering, marriage, and faith on her blog! Angie’s most important ministries includes being a wife to her childhood sweetheart and mama to one princess and three princes. They enjoy family movie nights, long road trips, and acting out the TV show Chopped.
Father’s day is approaching and I am happy to have Rob Teigen as a guest blogger today. You can find him atStronger Dads.
I love Father’s Day! I don’t care if it’s just another greeting-card induced holiday. I always like an excuse to fire up the grill and enjoy a day with my family. My wife Joanna and our kids always spoil me with creative gifts and key lime pie. This year holds an extra-special Father’s Day for us because our foster son is just weeks away from becoming “our boy” through adoption. One son in pull-ups and the other in college—got to love this crazy life!
Between our two boys we have three beautiful daughters.
Our oldest girl, Emma, is working hard to prepare for her driver’s test later this summer. In honor of Father’s Day (and the fact that we’re both still alive to tell about it), I’d like to share some parenting lessons I’ve learned through teaching Emma to drive.
It’s Scary
Just like getting in the car with an inexperienced teenager behind the wheel, fatherhood is not for the faint of heart. Unlike driving, however, we’re not handed an instruction manual with all of the rules of the road. There’s no “father’s ed” to give us some practice before sending us out on our own. The road of fatherhood gets bumpy sometimes. The GPS stops working and we feel lost in how to lead our families. Thankfully we have a perfect Father in heaven that stays by our side every moment. When we’re lost, he promises to show us which way to go. When we’re exhausted and broken down, too tired to travel one more mile, he gives us strength to keep on going. When we break the rules or fail and face painful consequences, he gives grace and forgiveness every time. When we feel like life is moving too fast and we’re out of control, he is our peace.
It’s exciting
My daughter is eager for the excitement and independence that a driver’s license will bring. It will be a new chapter in life with my daughter—allowing her new freedom and responsibility. It’s already a thrill to see her confidence growing as she masters lane changes on the freeway and parking neatly in the center of a parking spot. Fatherhood is exciting too. We get to witness so many “firsts”—their first word, first steps, first job, first dance—and their wonder at falling in love, finding their gifts and talents, and beginning families of their own. Even with all the stressful, sleepless nights that parenting brings, children are a blessing from the Lord. Nothing will stretch our faith or bring us to our knees like fatherhood. It’s a wild and exciting ride.
Be a coach, not a critic
Every time my daughter and I buckle up to practice her driving, I have to decide if I’m there to coach or criticize. Do I resolve to stay calm and express confidence in her? Will I become angry and overreact when she makes mistakes or backs into the trash cans? I can choose to gently correct and guide her through her weaknesses, or tear her down through worrying and complaining that she’s never going to get it right. In fathering it’s the same—it’s easy for me to become anxious and criticize my kids’ every move. However, I want to strive to be for them what God is for me. He’s slow to anger, abounding in love, full of patience, and forever encouraging us no matter how many times we fail.
Be consistent
One of the lessons I’ve been teaching my daughter is to be as consistent as possible in her driving. She should wear her seat belt every time. Her phone should never leave her purse when she’s on the road. She should check her mirrors and look over her shoulder every time she changes lanes. She should always check that the wipers and lights are shut off before she take the keys out of the ignition. Consistent habits will help her to know the road and the car so well that she can get to her destination safely. Parenting requires consistency too. Our kids need to know that our love, our values, and our commitment to them will never change. When we keep our promises and follow through with discipline, it gives our children security and the assurance that we’re here for them no matter what. It’s a way to demonstrate the faithfulness of God himself—he says that even when we fail him, he will never leave or forsake us. He never changes and he never turns away when we reach out for him.
Let them go
This is the hardest one of all in both teaching kids to drive and parenting. It’s hard to feel out of control, and it’s brutal to give it up to a child with so much less experience and wisdom than her dad. To hand over the car keys to my girl and say, “Here. I trust you with our safety and one of the most expensive items I own” is not easy. My son remembers driver’s training and still teases me about the invisible brake I was always stomping on the passenger side. Pushing that imaginary brake pedal was a foolish attempt to feel like I had some effect on how fast we were going. Over time I learned to relax and trust that he could handle things just fine. The greatest way to free ourselves from fear and worry as parents is to release our kids to God. The vehicle (no pun intended) by which we hand our kids over to him is prayer. Placing our children fully in the loving hands of God will free us from worry and frustration. It allows us to trust God’s perfect plans for our kids’ lives, even when “they don’t go according to plan” as Kathi would say. Our goal is not to raise perfect children, but to allow God to bring them to a point where they place their trust in him. God can use every situation for their good and we can trust them to his control.
Enjoy the ride
It can be difficult to not take driving and life with our kids too seriously. When I think she didn’t just turn in front of that 18-wheeler, did she?! Or, she didn’t just talk back to me like that, did she! fatherhood just seems stressful and hard. But when I look over at my lovely daughter in that driver’s seat and see what a fantastic young lady she’s becoming I just think about how we got here. How just yesterday I was teaching her to ride a bike in the church parking lot. How she used to hold my hand in the grocery store and now she’s driving me there. How she needed me to tuck her in and now she stays out long after I’m asleep. Our days with our children go by so fast, and we can spend way too much time stressing over the small stuff. We miss out on breathing in the beauty of the special moments each day. Enjoy the ride—celebrate your family and your kids’ dad this Father’s Day. Let him know what a great job he’s doing this week. I have a hunch he’d love to hear that from you.
Rob is giving away FIVE bundles of two of his books 88 Daddy Daughter Dates & A Dad’s Prayer for His Daughter AND 88 Great Conversation Starters for Dads & Daughters card set. To enter for a chance to win a bundle tell me in the comments below what is the best way the fathers in your life live to be celebrated. You have until June 9, 2014 to enter.
Rob is the author of Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids, Laugh-Out-Loud Animal Jokes for Kids, and Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (under the pseudonym Rob Elliott).
He’s has been a publishing professional for more than Twenty years. Rob lives in West Michigan, where in his spare time he enjoys laughing out loud with his wife and five children. You can find out more at www.strongerdads.com
Rob is the author of Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids, Laugh-Out-Loud Animal Jokes for Kids, and Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (under the pseudonym Rob Elliott).
He’s has been a publishing professional for more than Twenty years. Rob lives in West Michigan, where in his spare time he enjoys laughing out loud with his wife and five children. You can find out more at www.strongerdads.com
Now, I can’t help but declutter as I go about my daily routine and come across items asking myself, “Do I currently use it? Do I really love it? Would I buy it again?” Heck, I even watched my husband throw away a piece of equipment when he finally admitted that it wasn’t worth keeping around because when he did try to use it, it only worked half of the time.
It’s Scary
If you want to get the books today you can do so over at Amazon. 
