by kathilipp | Jun 16, 2012 | God |
This is Kathi. I often get asked to speak for Mother’s Day at churches, and I thought that for Father’s Day, it was only fitting to have a real live father blog for us. Meet Rob Tiegen; he is a dad who not only works at my publisher, Revell, but is a real, live author on the topic of fatherhood. He is sharing some keen insight today into where your husband really needs your prayers.
When Kathi invited me to share some thoughts on how wives can pray for their husbands in their fathering I was excited but a bit overwhelmed. There are countless ways each man needs prayer as a father, so in ten seconds I had thought of ten different things that I would love to know my wife was praying for me about.
As I continued to think it through, I decided to focus on just one thing–time. This is something that God has been burdening my heart with in my own life lately. I would be encouraged to know that my wife was standing in the gap and holding me up in prayer as I face the challenge of making ample time to spend with our kids.
I’ve been reading a great book titled Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids by Dr. Kara E. Powell and Dr. Chap Clark. The authors include disheartening statistics about the 40 to 50 percent of “church kids” who leave their faith behind in the college years. As a father who is trying to raise my kids in the Lord that is a hard statistic to hear. I desperately need prayer to make time with my kids, because time leads to relationship, and relationship opens the door to sharing my faith with my children through each stage, age, and challenge that comes their way.
As important as it is to work hard to provide for our families, to set an example of service to our churches and communities, to stay physically fit, and to connect with our wives, kids desperately need their dad’s time so they can receive love, spiritual guidance, and training. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (ESV) The passage is assuming the father is sitting, walking, and ending and beginning his day with his kids. The deep truths of our faith are passed on during intentional time together.
Wives, your husband will benefit so much from your prayers and encouragement with this. Pray for your husband to have a heart to spend time with your kids. Since you probably organize the family calendar, make room for him to take each child out for some one-on-one time. When you see him making a positive connection with your son or daughter, point it out and be his cheerleader. We need to know that our wives are in our corner praying for us and encouraging us to keep pressing on with our kids, even when it’s hard. Ask God to create opportunities for us to pass on our faith, and for opportunities for you to be an encouragement to him as well. Your love and support mean more to us than you can know. Thanks for praying!
Friends -this is Kathi. I want to take the verse that Rob shared with us above and pray it for the men in our lives this Father’s Day:
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (ESV)
Heavenly Father, I pray that your words, your love, your direction would flow through my husband’s heart. I pray that my husband would find time in each day to pass on your wisdom to our kids. Lord, let every moment they spend together be something to grow both my husband’s heart and my child’s heart toward you. And Father, show me ways every single day to call out those things in my husband that are your way – your good and perfect way. Amen
One little bonus – as of the time this blog is going to press, the price for Rob’s great book 88 Great Daddy-Daughter Dates is only $4.99 for the Kindle download.
Plus, as always, let me know you prayed for your man and I will enter you into the drawingfor Rob’s book (a real live physical one!)
You can follow Rob on twitter at @strongdads
by kathilipp | Jun 13, 2012 | God, Uncategorized |
“Our prayer must not be self-centered. It must arise not only because we feel our own need as a burden we must lay upon God, but also because we are so bound up in love for our fellow men that we feel their need as acutely as our own. To make intercession for men is the most powerful and practical way in which we can express our love for them.” John Calvin
When things are going well, there is nothing better than being in love with the man you have committed your life to. When you agree on finances, plans, and what to have for dinner, there is almost nothing better than the safety and security of going through life with someone you love.
But when life is stressful, there is no place the stress shows up faster than in your marriage. And that is just plain painful. I know when I get overwhelmed, stressed out, or scared, Roger is the one I naturally take those feelings out on. I don’t mean to—really! But he is usually the one standing closest to me when things explode, and he takes the brunt of the hit. One of the things I need to remember in that situation is that God did not intend for my husband to become my emotional dumping ground. God wants us to bring every worry, every anxiety, every problem, every sin to him.
I want you to be encouraged. I want you to know that you are already doing more for your marriage by committing to pray for him than most wives will ever do for their husbands Just the simple act of praying for your husband and asking for God’s direction is a huge step in having a better relationship with your man.
When I dropped the agenda I had in praying for Roger (though not without a lot of conviction and soul wrestling), I had a new freedom in my prayer life. It wasn’t up to me to change Roger into the kind of husband I wanted. God started to show both of us that we needed to stop looking to each other to meet all of our needs and start looking to our Creator to meet them. It took a lot of the pressure off Roger, and off me.
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Heb. 12:14–15)
Dear God, Sanctify our relationship with your holy presence, that we might be for each other a blessed oasis in a dry and desert land. Help us to resolve disagreements and hurts gently, with love, patience, and abiding respect, so that neither bitterness nor resentment will ever take root in our hearts. Let the divine light of your love so shine through our marriage that we present a holy example to others and lead them to your truth.
I would like to help one of you keep the prayer going by giving you my latest book, Praying God’s Word for Your Husband. Just let 
me know in the comments below that you prayed for your man and we will choose one winner at random.
by kathilipp | Jun 11, 2012 | God |
Right now, at this very moment, my family is going through a crisis. My husband Roger and I are making some decisions that will affect our family for a long time to come. And I’m grateful that my husband is in a place where he is emotionally and spiritually strong enough to lead. But he would be the first to admit that he’s not always been in that place.
Roger has gone through some dark times in his life. And I know that your husband has, too.
Instead of being surprised when my husband hits those dark times, I want to be prepared. Prepared with scripture. Prepared with encouragement. Prepared with a soft place for him to land, as well as a wife who is strong because I’ve been working my prayer muscle on his behalf.
I don’t know what that dark place is for your husband, but I have a few guesses:
- · A battle with depression
- · The stronghold of pornography
- · A feeling of worthlessness
- · A dependency on drugs or alcohol
- · The feeling of inadequacy – at work or at home
- · Insecurity about his future and the future of his family
- · Fear around finances
When those times come up (or maybe most of your marriage has been in the midst of one of these,) the best thing we can do for our man is pray.
Pour over the scriptures and find the one (or dozen) that cover your husband, and pray. Pray like his life depends on it. Because to a large extent, it does.
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Heavenly Father, I pray that you would reign over every area of my husband’s mind. I pray that whoever he is without you is dead, and who he is in you is alive. I pray that his habits and hangups that he wants to be free from would be replaced by a hope only you can give.
Show him every day who he was designed to be, in you. I am so grateful for the love you lavish over my husband. Thank you for giving yourself for him.
God, give me the eyes to see him as you see him; loved, adored, precious, cherished. Amen
I would like to help one of you keep the prayer going by giving you my latest book, Praying God’s Word for Your Husband. Just let
me know in the comments below that you prayed for your man and we will choose one winner at random.
by kathilipp | Jun 10, 2012 | God |
For the first day of our praying adventure, I asked my friend, Arlene Pellicane, author of 31 Days to a Happy Husband, to talk about how to pray for your husband when he is feeling inadequate. See how to win Arlene’s new book at the end of the post.
I always picture my husband with a huge “S” across his chest. He is my rescuer – the one who changes the car battery,
solves my computer problem, and makes breakfast for the family on many days.
What I sometimes forget is that “Superman” has a bad day in the office once in awhile. He might feel like a hero while the hot oatmeal is being served but a few hours later, he feels like he’s barely in control of his circumstances.
That’s when I can pray that the Lord will fill his heart and mind with peace and wisdom. When my husband feels inadequate, I can pray that his weakness becomes an opportunity to experience God’s strength.
May this verse guide our prayers today for our husbands: 
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3
Lord, help my husband to keep his mind totally focused on you today. May he trust in your steadfast love and in your ability to solve the problems that face him today. Keep him in your perfect peace. Settle his mind and heart. Give him courage because he trusts in you.
Thanks to Arlene! And if you would like an opportunity to win her book 31 Days to a Happy Husband, let us know in the comments that you prayed for your man. Yep – you’re already a winner if you pray for your man, but you could win a book, too!
by kathilipp | Jun 5, 2012 | God |
Would You Take 7 Days to Pray for Your Man?
You know how everything is more fun with friends?
- Movies
- Eating
- Bra shopping
OK – maybe not that last one. But loads of other stuff.
I know that if I want to stick to anything in my life, I better bring some of my best biddies along to make sure I stick with it. And what is more important than praying for my husband? Not much.
So why not bring hundreds of friends along for the ride?
From Monday, June 11th through Sunday, June 17th (that’s Father’s Day) I, along with some of my friends, will be leading all of us in what our men need most from us: prayer.
Oh – and why invite some of your best friends along for our little adventure of 7 Days to Pray for Your Man? Just forward them this blog so they can subscribe to the blog for all the posts.
Go ahead and tell me that you’re in – it could change your husband’s life, your life, or your marriage!
by kathilipp | May 29, 2012 | God |
If you have kids, you know that there is always some sort of drama around the corner. When you have four, the drama just takes turns. Recently, it’s been with our “easy” child. The one who longs to please, but has been living on the edge in many areas of their life. In a recent conversation, here is how that played out:
“I know you’re disappointed in how I turned out.”
Oh that cuts to the quick of a mom’s heart.
One of my kids actually said those very words to me. Oh the pain to realize that one of my kids, my precious baby, knows this isn’t what I expected.
This child of mine is making choices I don’t love. But there is no way I could love the child anymore than I do.
All of our kids are smart, bright, funny, and questioning. They have grown up with parents who love them, but have not always loved perfectly. They grew up with parents who were broken, and some of that brokenness passed down to them.
When my precious baby said that to me, I had to think for a moment. Did I love where they were at in their life? Did I love the choices they were making? Did I approve of the steps they were making? No. Not so much.But that wasn’t the most important thing I needed to say.
What I did say, (after saying a silent prayer,) was this: “No, I don’t love some of your decisions, but I love you. And I know that you have not “turned out” you are “turning out”. God is far from done with you. You are smart, and funny and amazing, but you are far, far from “done”.”
I have to keep remembering: I’m in the middle of the story.
My favorite author has this to say about where we are with him: “God always meets us where we are and slowly moves us along into deeper things.” – Richard Foster.
As a mom. As a wife. As a woman. I’m in the middle of the story, and so are my kids. So is my husband. When we love God, when we are in fellowship with Him, we need to remember: This is just the middle.
At church, we have been studying 1 John. What a weird and complicated book. It’s a hard book, because while it is so full of life, it is so full of challenges. Here is one of the life-giving parts that I desperately needed to be reminded of:
1 John 3:2 Dear friends, now we are God’s children. What we will be isn’t completely clear yet. We do know that when Christ appears we will be like him because we will see him as he is.
We are still living in a fallen world, and thing don’t go according to plan. We blow it, our kids blow it. But this is not the end. We can pray that Christ would become real to our kids – and to ourselves. While we wait on God, we get to call ourselves his children. We don’t have to be perfect, our kids don’t have to be perfect, God still is with us – because he meets us where we’re at and moves us closer to him.
lately. I would be encouraged to know that my wife was standing in the gap and holding me up in prayer as I face the challenge of making ample time to spend with our kids.
