It all started in the garden with Eve…doubt and comparison crept in with the question, “Did God really say….?”
We see it in the Bible with the story of Rachel and Leah too. They didn’t need social media to allow comparison to grow a wedge between them. We need to decide who’s truth we are going to align our lives with, ours or God’s?
Join Kathi and Nicki Koziarz as they talk about comparison and how we have the false perception that to do something great for the kingdom of God, we need to go viral, live big or have thousands of followers. Nicki urges us to see how what God is doing in each of us is so special and unique, that we can’t dare to put a classification on what He’s doing in our lives.
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Meet Our Guest

Nicki Koziarz
Nicki Koziarz is a wife and mom to three girls plus a handful of barnyard babies. They live just outside of Charlotte, NC. She is an inspirational author, Bible teacher, and speaker with Proverbs 31 Ministries. Nicki leads from her own brokenness that somehow God is making meaningful. www.nickikoziarz.com
I loved listening to your podcast on comparison! I never thought about Leah and Rachel in that way, especially when you described Rachel naming her child “sorrow” at the end of her life. Comparison definitely steals our joy and contentment! My struggle is feeling like everyone else can “keep up” except for me. I feel like I’m too slow or not a good enough housekeeper; otherwise, why would we have piles all over the desk and things out everywhere? (4 busy children will do that to a person…but other people find a way to keep up better than I do!!)
Terrific podcast!
The comparison struggle comes at us from all directions. I am certain we all struggle with it. It is a joy to have this message to share with others so we can learn to overcome the “why her”. Let’s all be ready to share our book with friends so the terrific lesson can reach more women!
I will also be sharing this podcast! Thanks ladies!
I made the decision to stay at home with my children. Having been through a rigorous degree program, it was tougher to step back than I thought it would be. God worked to show me that my identity had to be in him, not my career title. A few years later, several of my former classmates shared online the exciting news that they had passed their specialty board exams. Instead of feeling happy for them, I felt small, insignificant, wasted, dumb, ashamed, rusty…. it was like my identity in Christ was instantly gone and here I was wrestling with my own pride and sin. I felt God pulling out my heart that day reminding me of the path he had brought me on – no, he didn’t give us both the same paths and that was a good thing. But yet again about a month later I went to a continuing education conference and saw one of my classmates there. I felt so flustered – what was I going to say when she asked me how work was going? Again I felt God telling me no, I have given you your own path. Be thankful. This is still an ongoing comparison wees that creeps up and has to be surrendered pretty much on a monthly, weekly, daily basis… but praise God He has given us each a unique path.
And lol – when you think you’ve proof texted, inevitably you find mistakes later! Whoops! *God pulling on (not out) my heart…..*comparison weeds.
As a mom of a son who struggles with addiction and has since his teenage years, I had people say things to me that made me feel like all of this was my fault as a parent. There were other things that happened also that just made me feel like a failure. While I have worked hard to combat the lies, I still struggle sometimes. God is constantly putting things in my view that says, “TELL YOUR STORY!” I am working through this……I will get there.
Back when I was single, my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend/roommate. Ever since then I have felt like I wasn’t good enough. I’ve always been kind of shy and quiet and I feel that people ignore me because I’m not loud. I’m still working on believing that God loves me just the way I am.
Because of a painful past rejection of my friendship, I’ve noticed that lately I compare myself and shrink back from friendship with those I admire as confident. It became clear to me as I listened today that Satan uses comparison as a tool to keep us from combining our strengths with other’s for God’s kingdom purposes. Also, insecurities and pride are two sides of the same coin. Because I’m not as confident as them, rather than crying unfair, and being jealous, I need to play a supportive ministry role and be content with how God wants to use me, and them. Frankly, how he chooses to use them is none of my business! I’m called to follow Him, wherever He leads.
My high school senior has prepared his high school path for the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Being an alumni, I had coached and tried to mold him into a UNC student. His grades were good, lots of extra curriculum activities, high SAT scores, International Baccalaureate diploma program and 4 years of dedication to year-long crew averaging 20 hours a week. Then, he got the letter that he was not accepted to UNC. It was devastating to him. As a parent, what happened? I thought. After all, I graduated 2nd in my high school class, went to UNC, have a successful career and I am an involved and dedicated Mom. What did the other Mom whose child got into UNC do different? He got into his backup school and I know it is God’s plan for him to attend his backup school but I struggle with comparison and what could I have done differently.