Thanks to all of you who have sent notes of love, grace and encouragement. My inbox has never been so full of love and peace. I will get back to each of you soon.
Last night, as I was sitting down to do my blog, I found myself in the doing mode. “I need to write my blog post because I said I was going to write my blog post…” But I was tired after a long day of traveling and speaking and meeting some other needs. Then I thought to myself that all of you, who have written such great words of love and peace, would extend that to me as I laid down last night, read Jesus Calling, and rested. Thanks for the grace.
When it comes to the blog, I can skip a day and none of us are the worse for it. (Actually, I gave you the gift of one less email to open. You’re welcome.)But when it comes to digging in with my relationship with God, “skipping” is how I found myself in the desert place.
No one heads for the desert. What does happen is we lose the things that point us to God and that is just where we end up. There are a few things that, when I’m missing them, I start to wander in the sand:
Bible Study: With my job, it’s hard to find a day and a time to do a proper Bible study (you know, the kind with Beth Moore and coffee cake…) But as I was sitting here in my own little sand pit, a couple of friends who live in other parts of the country asked me if I wanted to join their study via Skype. I love God’s timing. Find something that works for you and then make it work. I’ve had studies on my lunch hour at work, during play group at my house, or even (gasp) at another local church while a sainted woman taught my kids science when I was a homeschooler. (Actually, I would have cleaned the churches toilets while some person besides me taught science, but I digress.)
Prayer: Start small if you’re in the desert place. Have other people pray for you to start praying more. (It really does work.) Be gentle with yourself and ask God to help you want to want to pray. Do short 15 second prayers of love and thanksgiving. Be gentle.
Quiet time: I asked one of my employees, Bronwyn, what is the hardest thing to do when she is in the desert place. I love how in her discussing her quiet time struggles, she compares her relationship with God to her relationships with others: “OK first to admit when I am alone, especially in the early morning when the house is still asleep I want to just sit quietly and drink my coffee. Just a vegetated like state soaking in nothing, enjoying stillness and calm; perfect time to talk to God, right? I should want to soak Him in, diving into His word and letting Him seep into all of me….
All this can sound crazy; you may think I am nuts…but like any relationship my relationship with God can falter too. I am never a perfect wife, mother, friend or daughter. They all take work. It requires I give, give more than I want to at times. It requires I do things I may not feel like doing at that moment. Quiet mornings sipping coffee alone without distraction or hurry are great. I love those times. Reading a great book, getting lost in the story of the characters is fun and a much needed break at times. But when they outweigh the times I spend with God, in His word, learning and studying more about Him and who He wants me to be and what he wants me to do is not a good balance. It is not putting Him first, when it comes down to it that is all he has asked me to do, put Him first.”
I’ve found that for prayer, quiet time, and studying my Bible on my own, having a spot – a cozy chair or in the other three seasons of the year, a sunny lounge chair in the back yard – helps greatly settle my mind and focus my attention on Him.
Where do you do those thing that connect you with God? Do you have a chair, a desk, a kitchen table? Where is your place to connect with Him?
This desert place isn’t new to me. I’m a frequent visitor. I know how it feels, I know how it smells, and most of all, I remember the way to get here.
Most of the times I find myself back in the dryness of the desert because I’ve let the world tell me that it’s where I belong. It starts innocently enough. I do something with some value, with some meaning, and when someone says, “Hey, good job!” I enjoy the hit. Yep, some people are addicted to drink and drugs, but for me? Approval and food are my drugs of choice most days.
So someone says something nice, and I want more. I want to hear what I do and how I do it matter. I start to act in ways that get me that approval and start to seek it out. And for a while the whole system seems to be working. I do good stuff, people say good stuff, and then I do more good stuff. And it works. Until it doesn’t.
Because the world stops cheering and reminds you pretty quickly about everything that isn’t so OK about you. The world has a long memory about your past, reminding you about all your failures and false starts. Maybe you were an addict, or lost your temper with your kids. Maybe you weren’t the kind of wife you wanted to be, or maybe there were people who you’ve hurt. The world is in the remembering business, but not really in the grace business.
That’s why we need to remind ourselves, and those around us, how God sees us. No matter where I’ve been or where I am today. Whether I’m in my addction or out of it. Whether I’ve loved my neighbor or pretended not to be home when they came knocking. God is the one who is in the grace business, and I need to remember what I look like to Him. Especially when I’m sitting in the middle of the desert.
Here are a couple of things that help me:
Saturate myself with words of grace.Like the video, (Jason Gray – Remind Me Who I Am) I am God’s beloved. God leads with grace. Hang out with people who speak grace. If you currently hang out with people who use God’s word to hit you over the head, may I humbly suggest you find some new friends. Listen to music that deals with grace. Spend some time with kids (ones you like,) and remember this is how God sees you.
Read about how God sees you. When I feel like God’s words are bouncing off my chest instead of penetrating my heart, I pull our Jesus Calling by Sarah Young (you can find it here at ChristianBooks.com ). This book speaks grace over me and talks to me as if God were siting directly across from me.
When you are in the desert place, how do you remind yourself of God’s abundant love, even when you don’t feel it.
Isaiah 43:19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
It’s been a long few months.
It all started with a busy schedule. A busy, “Look how many places want me to speak!” kind of schedule plus a book deadline (neither of these things were a surprise), that were both great for the ego (amazing actually…). But as you well know, the ego is a tricky thing. You can be busy doing God’s work, all the while, convincing yourself that working for Him and being with Him are the same things.
So, take some busy, and then throw in:
not spending enough time with God
a strained relationship with one of my kids
my mom’s cancer
and (just for fun) whooping cough
This? Right here? Is the perfect Food Network recipe for a full blown meltdown.
OK – so I haven’t taken to sitting in a corner and drooling into a tin cup, but I have sat in the parking lot of many a speaking engagement and cried and cried for one reason and one reason only: I felt like a fraud.
For the past four months, I’ve felt so raw and exhausted that I swing wildly between two extremes: either I can’t crack a Bible without going into a full-on ugly cry or the words on the page feel like they are written to someone else – in a foreign language – in invisible ink. Either I can’t sit through a worship service without having complete strangers come up to me and ask if there is anything they can do. (That is the complete strangers who aren’t avoiding my gaze because who wants to interact with the crazy woman…) Or I just sit there, listening to the words of the music and the preacher thinking, “OK, that may work in theory, but not in my life, apparently.”
How are you supposed to teach God’s Word when you feel like you will either fall apart on stage or that every encounter you’ve had with God recently felt dry, formal, and awkward. (At this point, all you leaders who have me booked to speak at your event are carefully consulting your contracts on how to get out of having this wacko speak at your event. Sorry – you’re kinda stuck with me. But don’t worry. I’ll pull myself together before leaving the parking lot…)
This is not a fun place to be in – the desert place. Yes – it’s true – we all spend some time there. Those times when everything feels wrong and out of sorts. Those times when picking up your Bible feels like the hardest thing you will ever do. Those times when you wonder if God is really there, and if so, why isn’t He doing some of the talking.
I’m starting to see my way clear. I’ve been here before. It feels like it should be so easy: “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” John 7:37-38 I’ve flowed before. Why not now?
I know what I have to do. I’ve got to do the things I don’t feel like doing. All week I’ll be talking about where I am and what I’m doing. I hope you’ll come with me – even if you’re not in that dry place, that desert place right now, let me tell you something – it could be just around the corner. Right?
So now that I’ve told you where I am, my question is – have you been there? Have you been to the place where maybe you are in ministry, or your ministry is your home, and you feel like your relationship with God is like your best friend from high school – you have great memories, but you haven’t had a good talk in a long while. Have you been in the desert place?
Tell me about that time – what were the symptoms? When we all know that we all know we go through it, we don’t have to put on our church face or our Bible Study Lady face. We can just sit in the desert, love on each other, offer up some tea, and guide each other out. So tell me about your desert.
You have breakfast, lunch, you are dressed and ready to walk out of the door but what about the children? Are they ready? Are they even awake yet?
I have heard funny stories so many times about a mom dropping their child off at school only to realize they are still in their pajama’s, or the child does not have their backpack, lunch or homework. Or the kids are in order but mom is wearing slippers with her business suit.
A goal for many wives and moms is to make mornings smooth and get everyone where they need to be on time…even dad! How does that get accomplished? Many of the tips that I have shared all week can be used on the kids as well. For those whose children are out of the toddler stage in elementary school, you can begin to incorporate them into the nightly preparation times and teach them how to get their things ready.
Get yourself ready first. This way you can focus on the children!
Pack back packs before bed: Do they have their homework, library book, show and tell item; all papers are signed and checked?
Fill their water bottles and pack lunch items before bed as well.
Have the children set out their clothes and shoes the night before on their dresser. This will lessen morning temper tantrums and in decisions.
Do all baths and showers the night before.
Make sure they have decided what they want for breakfast.
Tuck the children in bed at a decent hour. Children usually need 10-12 hours of sleep so plan accordingly. This will help ensure they get up easily too.
If you have several children or several family members but 1 bathroom delegate bathroom time. If more than ones are brushing their teeth at the same time it will more likely turn into play and a mess.
Here are some other thoughts on getting kids ready on the morning.
What have I missed? My kids are older now and can take care of getting out the door on their own. As the saying goes it takes a village, so tell me what works in your house for making sure the family is up and ready to go on time. I am sure all my readers can benefit from all of the great input.
Anyone who leaves a comment will be entered to win a $25 Starbucks gift card.
One winner will be chosen from all comments posted for the entire week.
Please, be sure to link to your blog or provide an email address so we can get in touch with you!
Do you hit snooze several times, jump out of bed in a rush grab your ball cap while you slip your jeans on?
Do you get up early but spend most of your morning looking at your closet telling yourself you have nothing to wear?
Or do you lay out your clothes at night complete with your shoes and accessories you will wear?
No matter what category you fall into I am sure we could all use some inspiration to help manage our mornings.
Here are a few simple and elementary tips. I am sure a lot of you might remember your parents telling you some of these.
Prepare for your day at night. Make sure your purse, backpack, laptop bag are ready for you to just grab in the morning.
Refer to Breakfast on the Run and Lunch to go so you do not have to fuss over your meals for the next day.
Go to bed at a decent time. (Sleep is not just for princesses, our bodies need sleep time to grow and heal)
Set an alarm clock. If are a serial snooze button hitter place your alarm clock on the other side of your bed; this will require you get up and get your day going.
Open the blinds and curtains. Filling your room with daylight will help your body wake up. In just a few weeks we all will be setting our clocks ahead an hour and most of us will wake up to the sun.
Eat that yummy breakfast you planned the night before.
Do you know how long it takes you to get ready in the morning? If not, time yourself from the moment you get out of bed till you walk out the door. This will give you an idea of when you should wake up so you are not rushed.
Stay consistent with your waking time each day. This will train your body to naturally wake up on time. Even on days you don’t have to get up early, do. This will give you a wonderful break from your morning routine. You can spend time in the Word, sip your coffee, watch the news or just enjoy the quietness of the house while the natives sleep.
So what have I missed that you may do that will help another girlfriend out? I want to hear it all. My mornings get by me way too fast!
Tell me in the comments below what your tried and true strategies are for getting up and out the door in a snap. What makes your mornings easier?
Anyone who leaves a comment will be entered to win a $25 Starbucks gift card.
One winner will be chosen from all comments posted for the entire week.
Please, be sure to link to your blog or provide an email address so we can get in touch with you!
Another time saver is cook a few meals once a week or many meals once a month and put them in the freezer. Make sure you label them well and all you have to do is grab one out of the freezer in the morning and then pop it in the oven.
Life as a mom also has great recipes and she even points you to posts to help you get started if you have never done freezer cooking before.
Other quick tips can happen as soon as you unload your groceries. When you buy chicken before you place it into the icebox go ahead and prepare a few dinner options. Place desired amount of chicken in a gallon Ziploc bag and add a marinade then pop them into the freezer. As they thaw the chicken pieces will soak up the flavors and all you have to do it grill or bake.
Here are a few marinade options:
Italian dressing
Ranch dressing and 2 Tablespoons minced garlic
½ c Olive Oil, ½ c Lemon Juice and 3 T Italian Dressing
Barbecue sauce
Now all you need is a salad, veggies and/or fruit.
Did you know I was once a single mom? Yes, I had a time in my life where living on budget was more of a necessity than a plan and time was short each day; between, work, shuffling kids around, homework checks and doing the cleaning and cooking solo. On Monday Nicole Bean, a single mom, featured me on her blog 180 Degrees: Turning your life into a new direction She asked to interview me about the time in my life when I was a single mom. Go over and check that out, you will also find a great recipe as well!
Sharing time! What are your tried and tested tips for making dinner delicious, easy, and stress free.
Tell me all your great ideas in the comments below and you could be entered to win a $25 Starbucks gift card.
One winner will be chosen from all comments posted for the entire week.
Please, be sure to link to your blog or provide an email address so we can get in touch with you!
Now that you can conquer breakfast let’s focus on lunch. I find most people do not think about lunch. Grabbing take out or whipping through a drive thru takes no thought and is super easy but super hard on the hips and pocket book. Lunch is, well, kind of boring. Some eat alone, in front of their computer or have little time to eat due to work or feeding little ones and getting them down to nap.
For those who work you also must think about lunch when you are thinking about or handling breakfast. So how do you go about in a stress-less way while making it healthy at the same time?
For starters there are many things you can do at night to make your lunch a grab and go as you walk out the door.
Plan your lunches like you do your dinners and shop accordingly.
Grab some of those easy items at the store: snack packs of pretzels, carrots, fruit, nuts and cheeses.
Prepare your lunch while you make dinner. Make an extra serving or two so you and your husband have lunch the next day. If you want to trim your waist line or your bottom line then just take half of your regular portion and place it in a container for lunch as you are plating dinner.
Do the prep work before bed; the slicing, cutting, placing in bags, or putting leftovers in a container so you can reheat at the office.
Pack all the items you can in your lunch bag at night. Fill your water bottle and that will just leave you to grab only the refrigerator items in the morning.
You could also do all of the above on the weekend. Spends a few hours prepping and sorting foods to cut down on daily prep time.
Need more ideas or creative ideas for lunch? Here are a few more ideas, recipes and tips.
Are you a pro at lunch? Is it your favorite meal? What is your favorite thing to do for lunch and how do you make it easy?
Tell me all your great ideas in the comments below and you could be entered to win a $25 Starbucks gift card. One winner will be chosen from all comments posted for the entire week.
Please, be sure to link to your blog or provide an email address so we can get in touch with you!
Do you have breakfast on the go, or do you go without breakfast? How many of you skip breakfast? I am guessing most of us, or if you do not skip breakfast than you might fall into the eat the donut with your coffee as you walk into work or drive the kiddos around category. Let’s face it our mornings are rushed and tackling the days tasks can seem more important to us than sitting down to eat breakfast.
All this week we are going to be focusing on getting out the door in the morning and one of the best ways to do that is to have some Breakfast on the go ideas.
But,whether it’s sitting around the table, or breakfast on the go it’s so important! It provides the energy we need to start the day, it gets our metabolism going and we all want that to work right. Nobody likes putting on extra pounds or buying a larger size. So how do we start the day off on the right foot, make it quick, easy and healthy and stay on time?
Below are a few links to give you some ideas about breakfast on the go. Many can be made ahead or take little to no time at all to prepare.
If you have kids there is plenty you can do to set up the night before.
Before bed set the table with the bowls, spoons, napkins and cereal choices. Add any fruit or bread items needed…anything that does not live in the fridge.
Have a list in the kitchen of your current breakfast choices so you do not waste time hunting for food. I have a friend who types up breakfast choices for her kids and before she sends them to bed the kids initial what they want the next day. The list changes as her food choices change. This save several minutes each morning for everyone in the house.
Set your coffee pot at night so by the time you wake up you have hot, fresh coffee.
Use your Crock Pot for breakfast; it’s not just for dinner.
Go ahead and chop the fruit or peel it and place it in a Ziploc bag. If you are prepping apples toss with lemon juice to prevent browning.
Have breakfast on the go choices ready: cheese sticks, yogurts, nuts and homemade breads sliced and in a container as well so you can grab it on your way out the door.
Below are a few sites you can visit to get great crock pot breakfast on the go recipes.
You have to love this next list of breakfast ideas, if only the website address… “Dumb little man” But it is also good to get a man’s perspective as well as a lot of us are taking care of his needs too!
And be sure to head over to my Facebook Author Page to download our list of 30 On the Go Breakfast Ideas!
So let’s help each other out. I want to hear what tips and tricks you have to make breakfast simple and healthy and getting out the door on time with little stress.
Tell me all your great ideas in the comments below and you could be entered to win a $25 Starbucks gift card.
One winner will be chosen from all comments posted for the entire week.
Please, be sure to link to your blog or provide an email address so we can get in touch with you!
Pitching the Pajama Pants (for a night) – Lingerie
Today’s Project: Buy (or dig out) a piece of lingerie that both you and your husband will love – then put it to good use.
Yep – we’re going to go there. It’s time to talk lingerie.
How’s your lingerie wardrobe? A little outdated? Was the last teddy you bought something you got just before your wedding?
Oh there’s so much drama around this subject. Ever since Victoria let her Secret out, you cannot walk in a mall or watch live TV without having a push-up bra or lace thong thrust in your face. And, even worse, in your husband’s face.
How am I, a suburban housewife who has birthed two kids (both weighing in at almost ten pounds) supposed to compete with Gisele Bündchen, in all of her angel, airbrushed, glory? I can’t (duh), but that doesn’t mean that I should give up all together and resort to wearing footie pajamas to bed every night.
We’ve heard over and over that every woman needs a capsule wardrobe – select items of basic clothing that can be mixed and matched and updated with trendy pieces to get you dressed with confidence and out the door in a matter of minutes. Now it’s time to think about your capsule lingerie wardrobe. A few basic pieces in your favorite colors that all go together to make you feel fabulous.
Here are the basics that every woman needs to own and love:
Silky pajamas – No, they don’t show a lot of skin, but each piece can be worn separately (the bottoms with a silky camisole, the top all by itself). Plus, you have something cute and fun that keeps you covered when your in-laws come to visit.
Silky camisole and boy shorts – These can be mixed and matched with the above items, or worn together when a more bare-bones approach is appropriate.
A Kimono – This style of robe looks great on everyone, covers enough to run outside and get the paper, while still looking cool and sexy.
A Lacy Bra and Matching Underwear – Sure to be a crowd-of-one pleaser. Your choice on the style of underwear (thong, brief or full coverage).
Consider these optional items to make things a little more fun:
Some Fabulous Heels – Heels have the magical ability to make your legs look longer and give definition to your rear end. The nice thing is that it doesn’t matter if they’re not the most comfortable shoes in the world – you probably won’t be wearing them for very long.
A Teddy – Hides tummy issues and looks great on every figure.
A Boa – I will leave that to your imagination.
Wear something sexy to sleep in. It doesn’t need to be one of Victoria’s sweet nothings. Perhaps just a silky nightshirt or a lacy camisole; the goal is to dump the Nike t-shirt that you normally sport.
Also, it’s your job to make sure that sleep is not all that happens in your pretty new nighty.
Make the extra effort to feel great about yourself — you know that some of that mood will rub off on your husband.
Tell me in the comments below when you will be pulling out the frills – any other details are up to you… (remember this is a family blog, so please keep all comments PG13…)
Today’s Project: Leave a cute and flirty note for your husband to find.
“A simple word can renew hope.” Lois Mayday Rabey
Keep it simple today. Put a Post-it in his briefcase, on his dashboard, in his wallet, anywhere that he will find it. Make it fun, make it flirty, but just make sure he is the one who will find it. Wink-wink.
OK – some guys are going to think it’s hokey.But, if you can’t be hokey in your marriage, when, can you be?
All I want you to do is give him a little encouragement. I know there’s nothing more encouraging for my husband than knowing that I am on his side. Throughout his day, I want him to know that no matter how difficult things may be at work, he’s got someone at home rooting for him. All it takes is a post-it note, and about two seconds of thought.
And if you want to get the kids involved – look at what Dawn Beavers did for her husband – asking her kids why they love their daddy and putting Heart-Shaped Post-it Notes to work, she created a thing of art that would do any dad proud!
Crib Notes: 21 Post-It-Sized Encouragements
I’m praying for you today.
Those jeans are really working for you…
I love you.
You are the best dad!
You’re the kind of husband that makes the other wives jealous.
You rock my world!
Can’t wait to see you tonight – meet me upstairs…
Thanks for working hard to provide for us. I appreciate all that you do.
You make me feel beautiful.
I thank God for you everyday.
How did I get so lucky, being married to a guy like you?
You’re great!
You make everyday more fun.
Have a great day.
You’re hot!
I feel so safe with you.
Smart and good looking – I’ve got the whole package in you!
You can be very distracting, you know…
Our kids are so blessed to have a dad like you.
That smile I wear – it is all because of you.
God have blessed me in big ways by letting me be your wife.
Let’s Be More Specific
I gave you that list in case this whole exercise is a challenge for you. If it feels uncomfortable leaving a note for your husband, it you get writer’s block even when the blank page is post-it note sized, just use one of the above phrases to get you started.
However, if you’re comfortable, and can get a little more personal, I would highly encourage you to do so.
“Specific praise is far better than general praise.” Gary Smalley
When leaving notes for my husband, I try to be as specific as possible about how he has blessed me. Every once in a while, I will leave him a little note saying things like,
“How lucky am I that I have a husband who makes the bed everyday. Thanks for taking care of me.”
(Hint: Men love to know that you feel “taken care of.” It makes guys feel like they’re doing their job.)
Or
“I loved falling asleep on your shoulder last night. You have a special way of making me feel safe and warm.”
Think about the ways that your husband loves you, and then put them down on paper. When you write those things down, it’s a double blessing, because:
while you are writing it down, it reminds you of how much you are loved
it encourages your husband in a way that only you can
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11).
Your Project: Tell us what you are going to write on your Post-it, and where you are going to put it so he will see it. Tell me in the comments and you will be entered to win THE ME PROJECT.
