Loving Men through Spaghetti
(The following is an excerpt from Kathi’s book,THE “WHAT’S FOR DINNER?” SOLUTION)
When I was working on my first
book, The Husband Project, I set about doing a very unscientific research project – to find out what men like.
I know, I know. If you have beenconscious for any amount of time in the 21st century, the answer is
obvious. If you are married, and your marriage was a house, the world tells you that the place your husband wants to spend his time is in the bedroom.
And that’s true. To a point.
But guess what? There’s more to that answer. The guys I interviewed? The answer was twofold – the bedroom and the kitchen.
When it came to discovering ways to make men feel loved and cared for, food was way at the top of the list.
- They loved when their wives made their favorite chocolate cake for no reason
- They loved when there was dinner in the oven after a long day of work
- They loved it when their wives would stop by the bakery to pick up their favorite
éclair - They loved when their wives would leave little treats around the house of the candy
persuasion
I knew that food was important to my husband (he takes his steaks and his salsa very seriously,) but what was amazing to see was how as my boys grew up, how food became more important to
them as well.
While my daughter Kimber will ask “When is dinner?”–so that she can plan the rest of her very busy social life—My boys want to know “What’s for dinner?”
We regularly have EMFH (Every Man For Himself) nights when I am working out of town. (Trust me, there are always enough fixin’s in the fridge to put together something yummy,) and each of the kids can cook for themselves. But, when I’m around, all three of the men who live in this house love it when I cook.
I have come to find out that there is a special security for men when they are being fed. I love how one of my friends, Mark, put it, “My wife gets a sense of security from me bringing home a paycheck every other week. It is the same for me and dinner. When I come home and there is something cooking, somehow, it just gives me a sense of security –like everything is right in the world.”
To win Kathi’s Books THE HUSBAND PROJECT and THE WHAT’S FOR DINNER? SOLUTION: Just tell us what special treat you’re going to surprise your husband with by Monday, October 31, 2011. We will announce the winners on Wednesday, November 2, 2011.
Tomorrow during the football game, I will keep my husband stocked with cheese/salami/crackers to snack on during the game, along with steamed shrimp and asparagus with garlic butter.
Completely off topic, but I had to let you know: I attended the “Once Upon a Time…” event in Victorville last night and completely enjoyed hearing you speak, Kathi. God spoke through you straight to my heart- exactly what I needed to hear! I can not thank you enough! Ironically, my husband called me while I was driving home to let me know he was on the way to the hospital. He had just cut off the tip of a finger with my serrated bread knife… cutting open a pomegranite. He has been banned from my kitchen indefinitely, making it even more important for me to pamper him with treats!
My hubby and I grew up eating two very different types of “cuisine” one upbringing was more focused on vegetables and nutrients and one was more focused on…. butter. So to please my hubby’s soul I will cook something horribly bad for his heart just like his Momma made it: Fettuccine Alfredo is one of his faves so I bet that will do the trick.
My hubby loves my Chicken Pot Pie. He just started a new job so that he can be home more & is definitely deserving of it this week.
Thanks for the reminder Kathi. My husband lost his mom very suddenly 2 weeks ago and I’ve been struggling to know how to be there for him. Your blog this morning reminded me on one simple way to help him feel more secure in an otherwise chaotic time… Meatloaf and potatoes are definitely in order.
I’m going to make a big batch of Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Whoopie Pies for my hubby to enjoy with his coworkers. He loves when I bake for them all! I think he’s requested some chewy Ginger Snaps, too….
And your encouragment for us to cook for our guys as a loving gesture is so right-on. I didn’t realize how much it meant to him to have a home-cooked meal waiting for him after work until we were drowning in fund raising efforts this summer and lived on take-out! He said he really missed the home-cooking (and so did the checking account).
Happy cooking, ladies!