If that isn’t the weirdest title for a blog, I can’t help you.
I was speaking at a great retreat for Cornerstone in Livermore, CA and met author Wendy Hagen. She gave a copy of her great book (look left) and asked her if I can give away a copy here.
Little did I realize she was a TV star. If you – like me – loved a little Growing Pains growing up, you will love the fact that Wendy had a scene with Leo (you know, we are talking Titanic Leo here.) So I’ve hugged someone who has touched Leonardo diCaprio. And if you’ve hugged me… the mind reels…
I asked Wendy to tell us a little bit about her writing journey and include a video that will take you right back to those Growing Pain days.
If you want to win a copy of her book, just tell me (in the comments below) a time you were totally desperate as a mom. I need a laugh today. Tomorrow – I will tell you my most desperate mommy moment! Post by Friday and we will announce the winner on Monday’s post. Here’s what Wendy has to say:
A few years ago I spoke at MOPS at Cornerstone Fellowship in Livermore, CA. Author and speaker Debbie Alsdorf was in the audience. She approached me after my talk and told me I had to write a book and title it Totally Desperate Mom. At the time, I was pregnant with my fourth child in five years (ages 6, 4, 2 and one in heaven), and thought Yeah, right. Then that baby came and desperate mom book material was hurled at me on a daily basis. So, I began to write Totally Desperate Mom: Keepin’ it Real in the Motherhood . . .
Being a mom is totally awesome and utterly difficult. So much monotony and yet filled with the unexpected. It is the best job in the world. It is the hardest job in the world. There are days that seem to go on forever and appear to be more like punishment. You know, like the kind when your son decides to fingerpaint all over his room . . . with his poop! But even those days are filled with moments of wonder and blessing, because the same toddler with a gifting for fingerpainting busts out with, “Mom, you’re my girl.” Then, I tell him that I love the sweet little things that come from his heart. He replies, “Like one time when I prayed and used the word justice?” Oh the dichotomy of motherhood. Are you with me?
Wendy Hagen is a speaker, writer, blogger, former childhood actress, wife, and Totally Desperate Mom to three young children -- who have given her more than enough quality material for this book. She earned a degree in Communication Studies from UCLA . . . which did not prepare her for motherhood. Check out Wendy's hot scene with Leonardo di Caprio!
Check out her website.
Today was one of those days in fact. My daughter has her first ear infection and the antibiotics give her terrible diarrhea. I put her down for her nap and she would not go to sleep, but was happy so I was going to leave her in her crib for the standard one hour whether she slept or not. At 55 minutes in she randomly went to sleep and slept for 2 hours…double what she has slept in over a month…napping has been a challenge when trying to transition down to one nap. When I got her up she was wet, I thought she had wet through her diaper, but when I turned on the light I realized it was poop. I think she slept the whole time like that. I felt awful and horrified. How is it she won’t sleep for longer than an hour for over a month and suddenly when she’s sleeping in her own poop she sleeps two? So the bed had to be stripped and there was laundry and baths and a lot of fun. But I was so happy she slept, I kind of didn’t care. 🙂
Well, I won’t go into extreme detail, but there was the awesome and amazing time that all 3 kids were sick while I was sick. I had JUST gotten out of the tub, youngest was a baby. He was crying. Diarrhea everywhere. Pick him up. Naked, me, not him. He barfs down my entire back. I’m cleaning up, Boy #2 comes in, throws up in the floor. Then Boy #1 comes in and says he’s barfed in the bed, in the floor, in the living room floor, and finally, the bathroom floor, AND the toilet. Dad is anti-barf. He takes one look and starts gagging.
Sometimes can’t we just sleep through the “fun” parts? Yuck.
My latest desperate moment was last week at the mall. Just as I was putting my 2 1/2 yr old son into his car seat to leave, I caught a whiff of a stinky diaper. So I hauled him out and prepared to change his diaper in the back of the minivan. I get the poopy diaper off, only to realize I have no wipes within reach. I tell my son to “Hold Tight” and I search the car for wipes. Nada. All I find are a few fast food napkins and a pack of anti-bacterial hand wipes. Needless to say, my son had a very disinfected bottom by the time we were done with it. I was worried about the wipes stinging or something due to the alcohol in them, but he just kept laughing and saying “Cold, Cold”.
Totally desperate when my son stuffed a triagular shaped bead up his nose and I couldn’t get it out. Or another time when my 2 year old daughter cut the end of her finger off in while we were in the middle of nowhere and hours from help. But neither of those are good for a laugh.
OK so, I’m too old to remember my most desperate moment — I’ve blocked it out. However my daughter-in-law is in the midst of being a desperate mom with a two year old and due any day with her second. She also was babysitting a friends 8 month old when she needed to go to Old Navy. Her is her report on the trip:
Dear Claire,
This letter serves as notification of my intent to vacate the position of your mother, effective immediately. I find that I am no longer able to suffer through your inappropriate, unprovoked treatment. The incident today at Old Navy was the last straw. I realize you wanted to take the ball home, but it was explained to you prior to ever receiving said item that it was to be left in the store upon completion of our business there. Crying would have been a response I could have easily understood and accommodated. But to scream and scream, and then throw yourself prone in the middle of the street is an unreasonable retaliation. The fact that I had to spank you-twice-in front of the construction workers just to get you safely out of the road is unacceptable. And all this while I am way too pregnant and it is way too hot, and my hands were full trying to push baby Chloe in the stroller while she waited patiently. But then, you made a bad situation worse. I get to the car to discover that someone had parked so close on the left side that I cannot open your door or mine. Do you help me by climbing nicely over the seat from the right and getting in the car seat? Of course not! You force me to drag you into your seat kicking, snotting, and screaming like I’m murdering you! Trying to wrestle you into your seat and strap you in safely was almost more than I was capable of physically and emotionally. I was literally dripping with sweat and boiling with anger by the time I was satisfied that you would be safe for the drive home. And then to just decide to stop acting like a wild animal, smile at me, and ask me for a snack was just cruel. Oh and then, of course, there was the moment when I was putting the stroller in the trunk and discovered that we had inadvertently stolen the notorious ball that began the whole mess. Too much to bear!
So, far all these reasons I feel it necessary to take a break. I have enjoyed our time together, and would be willing to consider reapplying for my old position should circumstances change and the grievances I listed be addressed. Thank you for you time.
Respectfully,
Your Mommy
Looking back now, it doesn’t seem so bad, but in the moment, I was totally desperate. I was a brand new mom of a 3 month old and I was seriously battling the learning curve of juggling nursing 24/7, sleep deprivation, and household duties. I put my daughter in the baby swing and went into the garage to gather laundry to fold. I turned back to go into the house only to discover I was locked out. In my scrubby pajamas, I open the garage door and run down the driveway to the neighbor’s house to get a phone to call my husband at work. Neighbor was sleeping, so her 6 yr old son got to deal with my frantic self. “I need to borrow your phone! My baby’s locked inside my house!” My husband would not answer his cell after 5 calls, and I was in a panic. I called my BFF for some rational words of assurance. “She’s probably FINE, just enjoying her swing….” FInally I got through to the hubby who told me of a hidden key in our backyard (I didn’t know it existed, but I was sooooo thankful!). After climbing over our fence, again, in gorgeous pajamas, I found the key, climbed back, opened my front door to a smiling, swinging baby girl.
I was a totally desperate mom when my 3 year old stuffed a piece of rubber up her nose and we could NOT get it out. Stressful enough on a normal day but this was the day that I was supposed to be leaving for the MOPS Intl convention. Now I had to get her to the doctor, pack, explain to my husband why he can’t leave random pieces of rubber on the ground and get out the door before my plane (and the rest of my Steering Team Leaders!!) left!!!! I made it – but boy what a non-relaxing day! 🙂