Most guys don’t spend a lot of time hanging out with their buddies-you are their buddy. They married you to have a built in friend to do those things with (the fact that the two of you can have sex is definitely a bonus as well…)
My husband loves to go to the woods, build a fire and have a cookout. I’m more of an eating-out-with-white-tablecloths kind of girl. But, you know while we were dating, I was the happiest “camper” around. I would have hunted wild moose just to be with him.
It’s time to think about those things your husband loves to do with you-his buddy. Maybe it’s hiking up a mountain, hanging out at Best Buy, or watching his alma mater’s team play football at the local high school. Doesn’t matter if you like it or not-your fun will come from watching the look on your husband’s face as he reclaims some of his long forgotten loves. (Video gaming, anyone?)
Prayer for Today
Dear God, I pray that my husband can view me as his friend and lover, as you have designed.
Your Project:
Initiate a time to do something your husband used to love. Whether it’s his favorite hobby, sport or pastime, it’s time for you to get involved. Be his buddy today.
When we were dating I used to hang out with my husband while he worked in his shop. Of course now that we are married, I will stay in the house and do my own thing. So what I did was go out to the shop where he was and spent a little time with him. He thought that was really nice.
My husband is into martial arts, so I said ” hey lets watch one of your fight movies” (I dont know what to call them). So he said “OK”. I thought I would truly hate it but found out it was fun to snuggle in bed and have him explain the movie to me. We both loved it. Felt like I was on a date!! tee hee
This was a hard one since I was quite the “party girl” when my husband met me. Our “good times” were often, sadly, drinking and bar hopping, shooting pool etc. He still enjoys this; I haven’t been in a bar in years.
When he called saying he was going to the local dive bar hang out, I gently tried to squash my inner “ew yuck” feelings and instead, thought “I love this man enough to be uncomfortable for him (for a few hours)”. My hubby often comments that he got a “Bait and Switch” deal in marriage, he met this “life of the party, wild child” and ended up with a Christian homeschooling mom. Hubby is a pre-believer at the moment.
I put on my make up and tighter than usual black pants (gee, its hard to be modest and sexy all at once!) and told him I’d meet him there once our younger boys were in bed and the teens were settled.
One of Chris’ buddies brought me a Shirley Temple (7-Up with cherry juice – I kid you not!) and commented on how great it was to see me after so many years. I met the bartender, her 10 yr old daughter (broke my heart) and the rest of the gang. We played 3 games of pool, danced a little and overall, an uneventful night. I stayed cheerful and pleasant while my hubby grinned ear to ear that I was out with him instead of home reading like usual.
Will I repeat this project? Truthfully, probably not. But I gave it my best effort and I KNOW my husband was shocked at my willingness to live, albeit briefly, “back in the days”.
Ok. I had to be pretty creative with this one. At this particular time in our life-HIS schedule is crazy. My husband works full-time in ministry and is a full-time seminary student….finding time to do HIS fun stuff in pretty impossible. Right now we have our friday, date-nights but that is for the both of us. So, I really tried to think about what would bless him.
I came up with this-cleaning the linen closet. Ok. I know-it doesn’t sound anything like what Project #2 should be, but let me explain just a little more. My husband is a very organized person-a place for everything and everything in his place. I am NOT. Things have changed a bit since we got married 5 years ago, one of them is the linen closet. I have strategically placed miscellaneous lotions, soaps, cotton balls, etc., on this one shelf. Yes, strategically, because if you remove anything-you have an avalanche of (mostly my crap) stuff falling on you. This is where the….”something he enjoyed before you were married” comes in. My husband totally enjoyed that clean closet before we were married. Sounds silly, but he has given me lots of leeway with my avalanche of a shelf. So, I broke down and cleaned it up! Yes- you can actually see what’s on the shelf and there is room for more stuff.
I can’t tell you what a BIG smile this clean closet brought to my husbands face! And he has brought it up a few times…saying how nice it is to see what we have in there! I’ll take that as a compliment! 🙂
I had a hard time thinking of something for project number 2. The only thing I could come up with that my husband used to do more often before we were married (at least the only appropriate thing) is play video games and I can’t stand the kind of shoot em up games that he likes. So I couldn’t bring myself to offer to play Halo or Call of Duty with him. So instead I offered to switch our date night to another night so that he could participate in the Guys night that his friends do every week that happens to be on our date night. Guys night often involves beer, video games and other things that I don’t particularly enjoy so he could enjoy it with his friends! He was very happy about my offer and his friend actually hugged me when I told him my husband would going back to guys night!
My husband use to scuba dive but he hurt his ears and can no longer do that. I asked him about a hike with me and the kids and he LOVED the idea. It was FOUR hours and a pretty strenuous hike. I had our toddler on my back for at least a good 3/4th of the time for safety reasons. My 11 year old loved every minute of it and we brought plenty of food and water. We all enjoyed the great outdoors and it’s something I know we as a family need to do more often…THE GREAT OUTDOORS!
Watching sports on television was definately something my husband enjoyed before we were married. Sports bar ‘dates’ with the guys during football season were pretty common. Now ten years later, all the buddies have become dads themselves and are too busy to enjoy watching games away from home. When football comes on the TV at home, I usually head for another part of the house in search of a project to keep me busy for a couple of hours. Nothing better than going out shopping on SuperBowl Sunday – the stores are empty!
Last week I stayed put and watched a game with him and the boys. A couple of times during the game my husband had to leave the room to take calls from work. He was so surprised to come back into the room each time to 1) find the TV still on (I usually turn it off), 2) the channel hadn’t been changed (the kids usually put on cartoons), and 3) I knew the score! Brownie points for me 🙂
We were at my moms on thanksgiving break. I brought him breakfast in bed. Along with the whole family. We all sat in bed for an hour eating our fruit loops, coffee and bananas watching cartoons. He loved it, said it was better then back in the day when it was just us.
My husband is a walker. He loves to go for long walks by the man-made lake near our house.
I like to snuggle up on the couch where it is warm and there is no chance or being run over by a car.
Tonight, I will initiate the walk. After I pick him up off the floor from shock, I know we will have a great time.
For Day 2….we are not in a real good position to go out and do whatever….so, I sat next to him after he came home from ping pong and watched NCIS and The Unit. I prefer shows like “Americas Next Top Model”, so this really was a sacrifice. He enjoyed it and said so. I liked sitting next to him on the couch–that was nice.