by kathilipp | Sep 22, 2015 | Blog |
A Series by Paula Tobey
How many times have you literally just picked up all of the toys, quickly threw them in the toy bin, only to turn around after one minute (literally one minute- and you know this because you are re-heating your cold coffee in the microwave) to find your toddler has pulled out all of the toys you so desperately wanted put away?? AAugghhh. Again!!
Such is the life of a mom with a toddler- or two! Yikes, I remember those days. They were also a blur. It may be because I was sleep deprived, but either way, what I do remember is that it was hard!
I’m here to tell you- there is HOPE! And this hope comes wearing a cape. (Enter SuperMom)
The super mom I speak of is the one I imagined myself to look like, if I had my life all together when my girls were toddlers. So here is what MY SuperMom did. (For me, this did become a reality but not until the girls were older and not toddlers anymore).
[Tweet “Parents Guide to #Decluttering: Stage Two – Toddlers #clutterfree #parenting”]
Declutter the toys-
Toys are something that your child needs developmentally and socially. However, when the toys no longer serve that purpose and they are crazy clutter, it is time to part ways. (Maybe slowly because if the child knows they are gone, s/he may turn into the Tasmanian devil). Nap time/ MDO is a perfect opportunity to go through the toys. I started doing this monthly when my girls were in preschool and it was wonderful! Get rid of the excess (ones missing pieces or are just not loved).
Have a BTH day-
No not bath. B.T.H., Bless the Home Day. This is a day (or a few broken up) where you dedicate to cleaning. Blessing the Home means you are bringing peace, organization and happiness to your home. You are literally pouring blessings onto your family by having a clean, neat space for them. (When I first wrapped my brain around the idea of a home blessing, my whole attitude changed about cleaning! REALLY. Try it!
Hoe out closets–
I did this (till it was bare or next to bare) twice a year. Winter and Spring- now I have the kids help. We see what fits, what doesn’t, what has stains, holes etc. and get RID of all the clothing that is not working. We bag up most of it to donate and throw out the things that are- well just that bad. There is something so freeing about looking into a closet that is organized! (If you are looking for help, I have a video on YouTube about it).
Help Mommy Clean–
My girls have always been great helpers. When they were little, the ‘help’ was not always that helpful but I realized they felt empowered when they helped with chores. I looked into routines for kids by ages and what I found surprised me. Kids can really do a lot of things at a young age if you actually LET them. Perfectionism is usually what stops that. Don’t be a perfectionist. Just let them help! Chose one thing at first, then two, then more things that they can help you with. Maybe it’s sorting and matching your Tupperware lids to bowls, maybe its folding towels and wash cloths. Let them help you! They feel good, you get more things done, and truly it is a win, win!
Just remember, what makes you a SuperMom is not getting it all done all by yourself in order to be recognized as a hero and awarded a medal (wishful thinking, right?) The goal is that you have a happy home full of love and laughter and some very little people who desperately want to please. So, go ahead and let them! Now that is what I call a Super Mom!
RELATED RESOURCES
Want even more ways to get rid of the clutter and start living the life you were designed to live? Get Kathi’s book Clutter Free Quick and Easy Steps to Simplify Your Space!
What are your best decluttering tips for before baby? Tell us in the comments below and we will randomly pick one commenter to receive “21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids” by Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory.
Do you want more great information to make your family the best it can be? Subscribe to Paula’s blog and get weekly posts and encouragement to help you on your parenting journey. http://phemomenallife.com/
Paula Tobey is founder of PheMOMenal Life Ministries a community for women to go get encouraged and equipped to be the best mom’s they can be to their children by living a healthy balanced life and by becoming all that God created them to be.
by kathilipp | Sep 21, 2015 | Blog, Clutter Free |
A Series by Paula Tobey
When was the last time you had an urge to clean out all of your closets and you were not pregnant? There is something about ‘nesting time’ that I believe we just need to take advantage of because, let’s face it, when you have them crawling all around under foot, you don’t have the urge whatsoever to declutter your closets, so…. Let’s go! It’s time…
[Tweet “Parents Guide to #Decluttering: Stage One – Before the Baby #pregnancy”]
Areas to Declutter Before the Baby Arrives
In the kitchen-
You will want to have enough space to have bottles, or cereal bowls, some baby food jars and teething crackers. (Those items take up the most space so I won’t list everything you could put here). So if you are currently lacking one shelf’s worth of space, it’s time to decide what needs to go. What have you not used in the last year? Is it that food dehydrator you got from Aunt Mary or is it a set of dishes that are so fancy you won’t even use them on Christmas? Whatever the item is, determine this – Do I Love it or Do I Let it Go? Really you have to love it. If you love it, it is worth keeping. It makes your life easier, faster or its just soooo pretty! J If you don’t… it’s time to part ways and BLESS another mom! You basically want enough room to get you through six-nine months’ worth of changes because, truth be told, you do not want to do this over and over!
In the laundry room–
You will be spending quite a bit of time here. For some reason the littler the person, the more laundry they create! LUCKILY their stuff is so small and you can fit more in! It’s most important to have a laundry room stocked with only what you need. It should not be a store-all closet. You, your belly and the hamper need to be able to fit in there and it can be a huge challenge if your laundry room looks like a bomb went off! If it’s time to clear off “Mount Washaton” then do so, so you have a clear surface to put down that darn basket! One basic principle to live by when in the laundry room is this: Keep
In the Linen closet-
Keep it Simple Silly! Seriously, just keep the basics, find other places or throw away the objects that don’t need to be in there! In the Linen closet or baby closet, make sure that you have sheets, towels and bedding in a very convenient place because you will be in here all of the time! It’s mind boggling to me how fast diaper changing pads and spit up cloths are needed so often, but they are. Declutter your linen closet to ONLY the sheets and towels you have to have! For real. You don’t want to do more laundry than you need to.
When living by the love it or let it go philosophy you will create a much happier home environment for your whole family. Clutter equals stress and with a new baby and little sleep, who needs that in the equation?! Not you! Keep that Elsa song playing in your head and declutter your way to a (slightly) more peaceful home!
RELATED RESOURCES
Want even more ways to get rid of the clutter and start living the life you were designed to live? Get Kathi’s book Clutter Free Quick and Easy Steps to Simplify Your Space!
What are your best decluttering tips for before baby? Tell us in the comments below and we will randomly pick one commenter to receive “21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids” by Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory.
Do you want more great information to make your family the best it can be? Subscribe to Paula’s blog and get weekly posts and encouragement to help you on your parenting journey. http://phemomenallife.com/
Paula Tobey is founder of PheMOMenal Life Ministries a community for women to go get encouraged and equipped to be the best mom’s they can be to their children by living a healthy balanced life and by becoming all that God created them to be.
by kathilipp | Jul 29, 2015 | Blog |
5 Ways to Connect Better with Your Kids by Paula Tobey
Have you ever had an encounter with one of your children that left you feeling like the ‘bad guy’? Either there was eye rolling, or stomping and yelling, or even better – a door slammed on your hand (check out my article about that one here http://phemomenallife.com/need-god) and all you could do was pray or kill a kid, lol. Well here are five great tips for you to have a better relationship with your child that will help prevent any of this from ever happening!
Believe it or not, kids need love. They don’t act like they do (and the older they get they may tell you often they don’t) but they do. The ‘kind’ of love is what is in question. Sure as anything, that too changes as kids grow. They want to show love to you. It’s just differently than before. Less kisses and hugs and more ‘trust’ or privileges. Kids need to feel like they have some control, and if that means telling you to stop kissing them at the bus stop, then they will use what works. Just remember, they do love you! Help them feel loved and respected by trying these tips:
- Know your kids – Can you tell someone with certainty what your child’s favorite activity is, favorite show or book? Can you list off some of their closest friends? What makes your kid tick? Make sure to listen to your child’s interests and pay attention to what they talk about. Ask questions.
- Accept your child where s/he is – The truth is: kids grow up, and they all do it at different times (although research shows it is happening at an earlier age than ever before). We need to be aware that they might just be ready for the next stage, so we should love and respect them where they are.
- Encourage good decisions and positive interactions – When your child does something that is nice or helpful, make sure to comment on it. Positive reinforcement goes much further than negative reinforcement. Negate the nagging! If you don’t like to be nagged by your mother or spouse, why do you think nagging your kid will get them to do much of anything? Give choices and ask them questions like “what are you supposed to be doing right now” rather than “do your homework”. Then after they answer, suggest they can do “A” or “B” and be okay with their choice even if it involves consequences.
- Share some personal things – Kids do want to hear from you. Share with them some of your struggles. Tell them you had a hard time with X, and you don’t want to see them struggle, and that is why you care so much what happens. If they hear from you and your ‘pain’, they are more willing to be understanding and listen to you.
- Be available – When kids get home from school, most of them want to wind down a little bit. Give them some space for a few minutes but then engage with them over a snack or in the car. You never know when they’ve had a really bad day and need to talk. Most kids are just waiting for the chance to feel loved. The more available we are to them, the more likely they are to open up to us when needed.
For more great tips on parenting practices, check out all of my blog posts. http://phemomenallife.com/category/family
Do you want more great information to make your family the best it can be? Subscribe to my blog and get weekly posts and encouragement to help you on your parenting journey. http://phemomenallife.com/
Paula Tobey is founder of PheMOMenal Life Ministries a community for women to go get encouraged and equipped to be the best mom’s they can be to their children by living a healthy balanced life and by becoming all that God created them to be.
Photo credit
by kathilipp | Apr 8, 2015 | Blog |
Friends, I want to introduce you to one of my interns, Paula Tobey. She is an intern, but that’s so misleading, since she has a full-on grown up ministry of her own. (See her links at the bottom of this article.)
“How do I get my child to clean up his room?” is one of the most common questions I get when discussing Clutter Free or my organizing book The Get Yourself Organized Project.
If you want a non-nagging way to help your kids clean up – read on…How to Get Your Kids to Clean Up Their Rooms
How to Get Your Kids to Clean Up Their Rooms
Do you struggle with kids who don’t seem to understand how to throw dirty clothes in a hamper that lies only feet beyond the spot they took off their stinky socks? Do you also battle with not enough time to get your house cleaned (which, let’s be honest, includes picking up your children’s rooms too, making dinner, and feeding all the pets)?
Could you benefit from a few tips that not only will help save you time, but effort in not picking up so much after others? Well, I have some great news for you, my friend, there IS a way!
I read an article a mom wrote into a parenting magazine discussing how she got her eleven year old son to help clean their house for his upcoming birthday party. She found a system that encouraged him to get the job done. Usually it was always a fight to get him to help clean. Maybe you can identify with this. He would never help, complained, and ultimately made the job harder. But this time, she decided to do something different and used a system someone taught her.
In her words, “I told him we were going to spend 15 minutes at a time in each room, and when the timer went off, we would switch rooms. I also told him that every 4th 15 minute segment, we could do whatever we wanted (Video games for him). I let him pick which room to do next, and told him that if he did this with me, he could pick anywhere to go for lunch.”
Her next part really moved me: “From 8am-11am, he worked his little heart out for 45 minutes out of every hour with me. He even brought tears to my eyes when he reminded me that I needed to come back to the room we were working on as I had gotten distracted in the kitchen for a minute. We had such a pleasant day and a nice lunch at his favorite restaurant.”
How valuable was this one tip to her? She says it “saved the relationship that I have with my son. It is his eleventh birthday today, and I have never felt closer to him!” This mom realized that cleaning up her son’s room was the goal but building their relationship in the process was the bigger win!
Using our time wisely seems to be a big challenge with parents and their children. Often we are so rushed to get things done that we don’t take the time to properly plan out what it is we are going to do. Then when it does not go as well as we thought it would, (and let’s be real- often life with kids does not go according to plan J ) we can feel defeated. There are many tools available to parents to help them manage their time and their children’s time. If you invest time planning before asking your child to help with something, it will pay off in many ways.
What my experience has taught me is sharpening my tools requires change. We need to change and grow to be better moms and dads for our kids, because that’s what they need. And if that means investing in ourselves to help change our family’s legacy, isn’t that a worthy investment?
Paula Tobey is a Parenting Coach for families needing extra support getting their families healthier in a Physical, Emotional, Educational, Financial or Spiritual way. She works with family’s one on one and in groups to help them become stronger, happier and healthier. Her website is www.PheMOMenalLife.com and she can also be found at www.ParentingSpecialChildren.com.
Do you sometimes feel like the woman in the story did? Wouldn’t it be great if you had a tangible resource and system to help get your home cleaned up that in turn, saves you time by teaching the system to your kids? Well, the “Get Yourself Organized Project” may be just one of those tools to help you do that. In this book you will get easy and effective ways to restore peace to your everyday life by adding simple and manageable long-term solutions for organizing any room in your home (and keeping it that way). It also has a realistic way to de-stress a busy schedule and has strategies for efficient shopping, meal preparation, cleaning, and more.
Click here for more information about the book.
by kathilipp | Mar 18, 2015 | Blog |
10 Ways to Stay Miserable Today…
“I wonder if I can take you out to coffee and pick your brain about writing.”
I get this request at least once a week. (Now I’m thinking if I saved them all up, I could get coffee for free for a month… Picture me twirling the end of my villain mustache with one hand and holding a venti latte with the other.)
I normally turn these requests down. Everything you need to know about writing a book can be found online. Then you need to join a writers group and then go to a conference. I don’t know any other shortcuts. Really. But this was a sister of a dear friend, so of course I said yes.
“I’m writing a book, and I’m just so frustrated with the publishing industry.”
And as she told me all the problems she was having with the book, I asked questions and suggested solutions:
“Why not hire an editor to go over your manuscript?” I asked.
“It’s not ready for anyone else to see!” She shot back.
“You’ve been working on this book for four years. Maybe it’s time to set it aside for a month. Go play with your kids! Get away for a day to Monterey with your husband! Do some normal life!”
“I can’t. Not until this book is sold.”
This woman was not stuck in circumstances. She was stuck in a prison of her own thoughts.
Over the past several weeks, I’ve run into some pretty miserable people. They can’t change their lives, their families are not doing what they want. They keep trying harder and harder, but nothing ever gets better.
At first, I feel sympathy. I get it. It’s so hard to be stuck in a situations that you don’t have a lot of control over. A job loss, a kid crisis, a relationship issue – these are all scary thing that can shut us down for a time.
But circumstances eventually change. Where most of us are stuck is in our own dangerous, limited thinking.
[Tweet “Circumstances eventually change. Most of us are stuck is in our own dangerous, limited thinking.”]
I like to remind myself of the bullies that Cheri Gregory and I talk about in The Cure for the Perfect Life – 12 Ways to Stop Trying Harder and Start Living Braver. When I catch myself saying one of these bad thoughts, I try to capture it as soon as possible and replace it with truth.
Here are a few truths to replace the lies:
When You Tell Yourself…
- “If I want something done right, I’m gonna have to do it myself.”
Replace it with… “It is not all up to me. I can trust other people with their jobs, and I’ll do the best to my ability.”
- “If I can’t do it right, I won’t do it at all.”
Replace it with… “Perfect is for people who never get anything done. I’d rather do it 90% right than not at all.”
- “I don’t do angry.”
Replace it with… “It’s okay to get angry when things upset me or when some kind of injustice has been done. I can be angry and not act wrongly on that anger. Expressing my anger in a calm manner can help me not to become too stressed.”
- “No fun until my work is done.”
Replace it with… “It’s okay to take breaks when I’m working. Sometimes I need a break to clear my mind and refresh myself. Then the job will be done even better when I get back to it.”
- “I’ll rest when I am dead.”
Replace it with… “If I don’t get proper rest, I might be dead sooner than I think. I can’t accomplish everything I want to in one day, and I certainly can’t accomplish it without rest.”
- “I am what I do.”
Replace it with… “I am not defined by my career and areas of service. I am a person with emotions and thoughts and desires, and it’s okay to be me.”
- “I can’t throw it away; I might need it someday.”
Replace it with… “It’s okay to let go of things that I’m not using, especially if they are taking up valuable space in my home. It’s okay to get rid of relationships that aren’t beneficial to me because I am worth more than that and something better will come along.”
- “I work better under pressure.”
Replace it with… “I can work better when I start a project early and give myself plenty of time to work out the kinks and get it right.”
- “I got myself into this mess, so I have to get myself out.”
Replace it with… “It’s okay to admit that I need help. I am not Superwoman, and I don’t have to know the answers to everything. I will take a deep breath and reach out to someone who can help.”
- “No is a dirty word.”
Replace it with… “It’s okay to say no. I can’t do everything. Healthy boundaries will make me a healthier person.”
Which of these lies do you struggle with the most?
Want more tools for replacing faulty thinking with truth?
The Cure for the Perfect Life
