Write Your Child a Note

Try This:

Write your kid a love note.

Making the Connection

Back when my kids were younger, we kept a small, lidded basket better known as the “family mailbox” in the middle of our cluttered kitchen counter. And inside it, I’d often find sticky notes with the words “I love you, Mom,” written with green glitter pen in my daughter’s best nine-year-old cursive.

Our family mailbox was a great way to encourage each other and brighten our kids’ days. Even when my kids grew past the age of wanting notes in their brown-paper lunch bags where their friends could see them, they never minded finding a note or a small treat in the family mailbox.

Since then, I’ve learned that a handwritten and heartfelt note can go a long way to make someone feel loved, cared for, and appreciated. So for this connection, I want you to write your kid a love note and leave it somewhere where she’ll find it.

Make Connecting Fun

Here are a few ideas to get the ink flowing.

• Start a family mailbox. All you need is a basket, a pad of paper, and a pen. You can start the ball rolling by writing notes to each member of your family. You could start with a note of encouragement or maybe a Bible verse. End the note with a question, such as, “If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?” I promise you will get some fascinating mail in your little basket.
• Welcome your kid home with a note. I saw this on Pinterest. Use dry-erase markers to write “Welcome home! I love you!” on a china plate. Then prop up the plate on a plate stand and put it on the counter for your kids to see when they get home from school.
• Send notes in your kid’s lunch. In her book Love Notes in Lunchboxes: And Other Ideas to Color Your Child’s Day, Linda Gilden tells about the day her daughter said: “You know, Mom, I don’t really remember what you said in all those notes you wrote in my lunches. But I remember you wrote them and they always showed you cared. Some days I think all you said was, ‘Have a good day’ or ‘You are special,’ but it meant a lot. Just to know that you took the time to write a note and that you thought it was an important part of my lunch made my day. Most kids only had food in their lunch bags!”Yes, food is an essential part of the lunchbox. But even more important than the food for our children’s bodies is the food for their spirits. And it doesn’t have to be dispensed in a lunchbox. There are plenty of ways to encourage and affirm our children.
• Write out an acrostic using the letters of your child’s name. Hang it on their door or on the fridge so they can see how great you think they are.
  J ust so funny
  E nergetic
  R eady for anything
  E veryone loves him
  M y favorite person to watch cartoons with
  Y ou are a great kid!
• Send Scripture notes. Can’t think of what to write? God gave us a whole book of love notes. Just borrow one of His! Then add a few words of your own.
  

  God’s Note: “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always” (1 Chronicles 16:11).

  Mom’s or Dad’s note: Always trust God. He knows what’s best for you, and He is bigger than any problem you may have.

• Write a list. Jot down a quick list and leave it on a sticky note on the bathroom mirror where your child can see it when they brush their teeth or get ready for school. Try “Top Three Reasons I Love You” or “Top Five Reasons Our Family Is the Greatest” or “Top Five Reasons You Are My Favorite Lunchbox Kid.”

A Chance to Win:

Tell me what you’re going to write to your child and I’ll enter you in a drawing for a copy of 21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids!!! (Entries close at midnight on Friday PST.)

Pray for Your Kids

Try This:

Start a prayer journal to help you intentionally pray for your kids.

Making the Connection:

A few years ago, Amanda was engaged to someone who wasn’t right for her. It was obvious to Roger and me, and everything in me wanted to open my mouth and talk some sense into her. I wanted to explain what I thought. I wanted to beg and plead. I wanted to write out a list of all the godly characteristics that I envisioned for her future spouse. But I didn’t. Instead, we shut up and prayed.

And we prayed.

And we prayed.

And we prayed some more.

It took almost a year (yes, an entire year!), but they broke off the engagement. We now joke that if your kid is dating someone who isn’t right for them, call us. We have a ministry of praying the wrong guys out.All joking aside, praying for your kids is powerful. I can say without hesitation that it is the number one most valuable thing I have done for my children. And that’s why I want to encourage you to start a prayer journal that will help you intentionally pray for your kids every day.

Make Connecting Fun:

Starting a prayer journal is actually really easy.

Step 1: Pick up a journal. I like mine to be small enough to fit into my purse so I can bring it with me when I’m traveling and pretty enough to display on a bookshelf. But really, anything—from a 99-cent spiral notebook from the dollar store to an iPad with a stylus—will work.

Step 2: Pick a time to journal. If you’re anything like me, you probably start every day with the best intentions. But by the time you’ve managed to feed the kids, walk the dog, make the coffee, do carpool, clean the dishes, sweep the floor, and switch the laundry (all before 9:00 a.m.) even your best laid plans get derailed. So set aside time every day — set a daily reminder on your iPhone if you have to — so that praying for your kids becomes a daily priority.

Step 3: Talk to God on paper. Your prayers don’t have to be eloquent or full of poetic language. Just talk to God about your kids. One thing I’ve found to be really helpful is to use a verse from the Bible to pray for my kids. Here are a few of the verses I’ve prayed over my kids over the years:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2).

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen (2 Peter 3:18).

May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you. (Psalm 25:21)

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. (Proverbs 3:3)

I cling to you; your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:8)

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)

Brag on Your Child According to Their Personality

Try this: Tell someone else how great your kid is in a way that best suits his or her individual personality.

Make the Connection:

Let me just say: My son Justen is an excellent writer.  Well, he is. He’s great. I love reading his stories. I literally beam with pride every time he finishes a story and have to stifle the impulse to call my friend at the bookstore and warn her that a bestseller is on the way. He’s that good.

I could go on and on about how great he is… but I just can’t tell him. Why? Because he hates it.

A few weeks ago, I said to him, “I love what a creative writer you are!”

He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “I don’t even know why you’re telling me this.” As if it were causing him grief to have to spend the energy listening to me.

Justen is part amiable, part analytic: He’s thoughtful and adaptable and nurturing… but he’s also very pensive and private and slightly mortified to hear his mom go on and on about his work. So, I’ve learned that a well-timed “nice job on that” says a lot more than hours of gushing.

My gushing was well-intentioned — I was proud of him and he really is a great writer. But, my delivery? Well-intentioned or not, it didn’t work. So instead of beaming with pride at my words, he scoffed. I now know that for him, less is more. Timing is everything. And my gushing on and on only makes me seem insincere.

I want you to brag on your kids in a way that really makes them proud of their accomplishments — and in a way that is best received by their individual personality type. So for this challenge, I want you to brag on your child in a way that makes them feel loved, appreciated and proud.

Make Connecting Fun:

It’s one thing to brag about your kids. It’s an entirely different thing to brag about them in the way that they best understand affirmation. In their personal brag language, if you will. My friend Cheri Gregory explains exactly how to do that for each personality type in this free download Bragging on Your Child Based on their Personality. A little cheat sheet, if you will, to help you brainstorm on how best to encourage your child.

Download it Now:

Brag On Your Child — According to Their Personality Cheat Sheet