by kathilipp | Nov 6, 2012 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Relationships |
Pray for Your Kids
Try This:
Start a prayer journal to help you intentionally pray for your kids.
Making the Connection:
A few years ago, Amanda was engaged to someone who wasn’t right for her. It was obvious to Roger and me, and everything in me wanted to open my mouth and talk some sense into her. I wanted to explain what I thought. I wanted to beg and plead. I wanted to write out a list of all the godly characteristics that I envisioned for her future spouse. But I didn’t. Instead, we shut up and prayed.
It took almost a year (yes, an entire year!), but they broke off the engagement. We now joke that if your kid is dating someone who isn’t right for them, call us. We have a ministry of praying the wrong guys out.All joking aside, praying for your kids is powerful. I can say without hesitation that it is the number one most valuable thing I have done for my children. And that’s why I want to encourage you to start a prayer journal that will help you intentionally pray for your kids every day.
Make Connecting Fun:
Starting a prayer journal is actually really easy.
Step 1: Pick up a journal. I like mine to be small enough to fit into my purse so I can bring it with me when I’m traveling and pretty enough to display on a bookshelf. But really, anything—from a 99-cent spiral notebook from the dollar store to an iPad with a stylus—will work.
Step 2: Pick a time to journal. If you’re anything like me, you probably start every day with the best intentions. But by the time you’ve managed to feed the kids, walk the dog, make the coffee, do carpool, clean the dishes, sweep the floor, and switch the laundry (all before 9:00 a.m.) even your best laid plans get derailed. So set aside time every day — set a daily reminder on your iPhone if you have to — so that praying for your kids becomes a daily priority.
Step 3: Talk to God on paper. Your prayers don’t have to be eloquent or full of poetic language. Just talk to God about your kids. One thing I’ve found to be really helpful is to use a verse from the Bible to pray for my kids. Here are a few of the verses I’ve prayed over my kids over the years:
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2).
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen (2 Peter 3:18).
May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you. (Psalm 25:21)
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. (Proverbs 3:3)
I cling to you; your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:8)
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)
by kathilipp | Nov 5, 2012 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Relationships |
Brag on Your Child According to Their Personality
Try this: Tell someone else how great your kid is in a way that best suits his or her individual personality.
Make the Connection:
Let me just say: My son Justen is an excellent writer. Well, he is. He’s great. I love reading his stories. I literally beam with pride every time he finishes a story and have to stifle the impulse to call my friend at the bookstore and warn her that a bestseller is on the way. He’s that good.
I could go on and on about how great he is… but I just can’t tell him. Why? Because he hates it.
A few weeks ago, I said to him, “I love what a creative writer you are!”
He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “I don’t even know why you’re telling me this.” As if it were causing him grief to have to spend the energy listening to me.
Justen is part amiable, part analytic: He’s thoughtful and adaptable and nurturing… but he’s also very pensive and private and slightly mortified to hear his mom go on and on about his work. So, I’ve learned that a well-timed “nice job on that” says a lot more than hours of gushing.
My gushing was well-intentioned — I was proud of him and he really is a great writer. But, my delivery? Well-intentioned or not, it didn’t work. So instead of beaming with pride at my words, he scoffed. I now know that for him, less is more. Timing is everything. And my gushing on and on only makes me seem insincere.
I want you to brag on your kids in a way that really makes them proud of their accomplishments — and in a way that is best received by their individual personality type. So for this challenge, I want you to brag on your child in a way that makes them feel loved, appreciated and proud.
Make Connecting Fun:
It’s one thing to brag about your kids. It’s an entirely different thing to brag about them in the way that they best understand affirmation. In their personal brag language, if you will. My friend Cheri Gregory explains exactly how to do that for each personality type in this free download Bragging on Your Child Based on their Personality. A little cheat sheet, if you will, to help you brainstorm on how best to encourage your child.
Download it Now:
Brag On Your Child — According to Their Personality Cheat Sheet
by kathilipp | Nov 4, 2012 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Relationships, Uncategorized |
Day 1: Connecting with Your Kid’s Personality
I know my kids pretty well. I know that Kimberly could spend all day watching Gilmore girls while Justen would rather die than see one episode. I know that both of my kids are into Steampunk (which, when it comes to literary genres is about as far as you can get from me and my women’s fiction). I know that Justen has an affinity for numbers (the kid can remember my car’s license number off the top of his head) and I know that for some reason unbeknownst to me, both of my kids have a soft spot for our mean, cranky cat Zorro who no one else seems to like.
But, I don’t know anything about your kids. I don’t know what makes them literally squeal with excitement. What quirks they have. Or what they’d do tonight if they were given $20, ten gallons of gas and a chauffeur to drive them anywhere they wanted.
And, you’re probably wondering how I can help you to connect with your kids if I don’t know them.
I thought of that, too, and I have a plan. My friend and personality expert, Cheri Gregory has created a simple questionnaire that will help you to determine your kid’s personality type.
So, to get started, answer the questions below about your child on this simple quiz at: Discover Your Child’s Personality Type
by kathilipp | Oct 29, 2012 | Relationships, The Husband Project |
Thanks for visiting (And even if you’re not here from Time Warp Wife, there are still free goodies for you! So keep reading!)
Let me give you the lay of the land. Just like at Time Warp Wife, we are all about the husband love. We show that in a variety of ways: but food and prayer seem to work around these parts. Here are a couple of resources to make that easier:
To Feed His Stomach
If you want twenty of my family favorite ready for the freezer recipes, check out my Facebook Page and download the free ebook: Six Chicks Freeze and Fix – How to Start a Freezer Meal Co-op (look at the “Tabs” at the top of the page.)
Sign up for my newsletter (filled with great tips about keeping your life in order!) and you will receive my free ebook THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MAN FOOD filled with great recipes to keep that man in your life extra happy.
To Feed Your Soul
For Setting Up a Quiet Time Routine and Praying Scripture When Your Husband is Overwhelmed Downloads, check out my book page for Praying God’s Word for Your Husband.
And for my faithful readers, here is a new resource from my new friend Time Warp Wife: Just about the cutest Prayer Cards you have ever seen. Yes- she is giving away this free download to all my readers (and while you’re on her site, you can go ahead and just sign up for her blog. You’ll thank me later.
Enjoy the swag. We’re happy to have you as part of the family.
by kathilipp | Oct 28, 2012 | Relationships, The Husband Project |
Dear Friend,
This is really, really hard for me to do, but I have to tell you why I can’t hang out with you anymore.
I get that marriage is hard. I do. I’ve fought with my husband (remember, when we got married, we had four teenagers, so we had plenty to “discuss” those first years of marriage,) disagreed with him, and sometimes (OK, many times) not been the wife I needed to be.
But here’s the thing: I want to do better. I want to be the wife that my husband needs. I want to speak well of him and to him. I want to improve, a little bit, everyday.
And when I’m around you, it’s hard. I feel like, because you are throwing your husband under the bus, you want me to throw my husband right under there as well.
I will not have the kinds of conversations that make men the butt of the joke, because not only am I married to a man, but I have two boys I want to respect as men as well.
I will not agree with how awful your husband is because I don’t know his side of the story.
I will not laugh at TV or movies that feature the guys as “Doofus Dads”.
I will not let you bait me into bashing husbands, yours or mine.
I’m sorry if this seems like a unexpected change up – like I’m changing to rules of our relationship. But that uncomfortable laugh that I make when you put down your husband? Gone. From now on, I’m speaking up. It’s not OK to talk about any man like that in my presence. Ever.
Now don’t get me wrong. If you want me to pray for the tough time you’re going through, if you want to cry on my shoulder and have me recommend books on how you can improve your relationship, I will bring the coffee, milk chocolate and password to my Amazon account. I am there for you friend.
But if you only want to complain, and not let God make a miracle out of your marriage, I need to step away. Because I need to be with women who support the men in their life. I want to surround myself with women who are not perfect wives, but will inspire me to be the wife that follows God and blesses her husband out of the overflow of that relationship with God.
So if you want to be that kind of girl – come on over to my house.
But if not, I’m going to need to bow out. I know that God wants more for you than what you have now. I’ll be here when you want that cup of coffee.
by kathilipp | Sep 11, 2012 | Relationships |
How to be Married to an Analytic
by Roger Lipp
(Check out our guide to finding out your personality type !)
For those of you who have met Kathi, it will not be much of a surprise when I tell you that she is an “expressive”.
Of the four personality types (analytic, driver, amiable, expressive) it is really obvious that she is an expressive. (You could pick that out without even diving into the details of what it really means to be an expressive. The name alone kinda gives her away…) And for those of you who have met me, you will with equal certainty be able to discern that I am not an expressive. Not even close. In fact, I am the complete and absolute opposite (remember, they do say that opposites attract). I am an analytic.
Let me digress with a word of caution: personality types are not etched in stone. Our entire personality and life journey cannot be reduced to a single word. Even though I am an analytic, I am able to express myself. And my wife is pretty good at math… especially when it comes to sales at Macy’s, but that’s a story for another time. So before I go any further, please promise me you won’t pigeon hole people… especially your spouse!
For those of you lucky enough to be married to an analytic, I have a few words of advice that may make the journey go a bit smoother.
First, take some time to understand some of the keys to their thinking. Unless you are also an analytic, your spouse probably thinks very differently than you do. In the world view of an analytic, facts and accuracy are more important than feelings and perceptions.
Kathi and I were sitting down at dinner to discuss this article. She made a statement about that she sees me more as an “amiable” than as an “analytic”. As soon as she said that my brain started objecting. I know the characteristics. I know the criteria. I’ve taken numerous tests, they 
have all pointed to the same conclusion. I am an analytic. And of course because I’m an analytic, I needed to set the record straight.
I interrupted Kathi (wisdom is obviously not high on my list of qualities) and let her know that she was mistaken: I am an analytic.
At this point, you can see that the stage is set. The players are all in place. The plot has been developed. We can all imagine what could happen next. Rebuke. Response. Retaliate. Repeat. We’ve all been there.
Fortunately, Kathi has learned a few things about my personality that helps keep this from spiraling out of control. She has learned that facts and accuracy are important to me. So she acknowledges the fact that I am in fact an analytic, and then goes on to explain why she sees me more as an “amiable”.(I try to keep the peace in family situations, I like to just “hang” with people – I don’t necessarily need to be getting things done while we’re hanging out. All traits of the “Amiable” personality – which I also have some of.)
Just that simple acknowledgement of the facts was enough to satisfy my internal need for accuracy. With that need satisfied I was able to engage in the rest of the conversation and learned that what she was really saying is: you’re a great guy and I love you. A point that I really appreciate letting sink in every now and then. Glad I didn’t miss it.
Roger
If You’re Married to an Analytic – Hints and Tips (by Kathi…)
Being Around Other People
Roger renews his energy by being alone or just hanging out with me or our kids. It take a lot of energy for him to be “on” for other people. I needed to learn that it was OK for me not to include him in everything. He’s fine with me going out to lunch with a friend on my own. In fact, many times he would prefer it.
When I travel, every once in a while I will stay with a friend that I know so we can catch up on life. This doesn’t work for Roger. He needs to have privacy and quiet. His ultimate nightmare? Spending the night in a stranger’s home. When we are traveling together, I need to let groups know that we need a hotel. It’s nothing personal – but I want to honor my husband.
Doing vs. Chatting
Roger wants to know what his “job” is at all times. When we have people over for dinner, I’m in charge of the chatting, Roger’s in charge of the BBQing, and that’s how we like it. Don’t get me wrong – if you come over to our house for dinner, Roger wants talk with you – he just wants to do it with some grilling tongs in his hands.
His Way or the Wrong Way
So there is the Roger Way doing things, and there is the wrong way of doing things. He’s not obnoxious about it, but he’s great at analyzing the cheaper, better, faster way of doing things, getting places, and buying stuff and in the long run, his analysis of the situation usually works to my benefit. (We find that sale on vacuum cleaners, or he finds us the best reviewed cafe in a town we’re visiting, or we get to our event six minutes faster than if I had been driving.) I make sure that when he has a strong opinion, I honor that to the best of my ability. (In other words, I pick which hills I want to die on…) He can and will change his mind, but it’s best if you have your facts lined up before you try to sway him.
Are you married to an Analytic? Are you an Analytic? Tell me what above fits your marriage, and how you’re different. 
