by kathilipp | Dec 4, 2012 | Christmas, Relationships, Uncategorized |
Hey Friends – this is Kathi. My friend, Jill Davis, was a valuable contributor to my latest book 21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids. Jill offered great advice as the single mom of several kids in that book, and I’ve asked her to talk about the special challenges of single parenting and the holidays.
Even if you’re not a single parent, I think we have a real opportunity to reach out to a single mom this season and offer support in the ways that we can. Look at this list and see how you can support.
What I Wish I Knew My First Christmas as a Single Mom. Guest Post by:Jill Davis
“Don’t let busyness replace deep human connection.” I heard these words recently from a close friend and it took me back to my early single mom days. I spent so much time trying to create the magazine picture perfect Christmas experience, I missed out on what my children truly needed; to be connected as a family. Six years later, I have made lots of mistakes and learned lots of lessons.
What I wish I had known my first Christmas as a single mom.
1. Don’t try to do everything you’ve done in past years.
2. Ask your children what they most want to do this year. Then choose just one or two of them, not all 127 of them. Make sure to include one of your favorite traditions as well.
3. Remember Christmas is busy enough just through regular activities. It is in building relationships with our children that true joy happens.
4. Don’t unwrap your family ornaments with the children around. Take the time to sort them out first. It can be extremely painful the first few years. Sort through what you want to keep for yourself and the kids. Pack the rest away in a box marked “look at in two years”. A lot can happen in two years and it will be easier to look at those old memories then.
5. Let others help you. It’s really ok. You don’t have to be super single mom. Let them take the kids to do special things. You really don’t have to do it all.
6. If you are alone over Christmas choose how you want to spend the time. If you are invited somewhere and you really want to be around people GO! Or if you really want to be alone, say no. It’s ok to enjoy the time by yourself.
7. Remember some years are just going to be difficult, whether you are single or not.
8. A hot bath, a good book and a full night’s sleep will heal most exhaustion. Participate in extreme self care this time of year.
9. Don’t over spend or over eat, it will make January much harder and no one will be any happier.
10. Most of all, take the time to listen. Listen to your children, to yourself, to friends, and to the joy of the season. Let go of the busyness and relish the joy of being with your family.
For over 20 years, Jill Davis has helped others identify and fulfill their dreams. By using her own life challenges as the mother of four, a military wife, an abusive in marriage, a divorce survivor and building a successful career, she is able to create belief in others. She understands the difficulties others encounter both in the world and within themselves. Her energy and determination are an inspiration and a highly developed intuition provides her with the ability to touch a nerve in everyone she encounters. Her goal is to help others find inside themselves their own personal path to joy.
Trained in Personality Principles and Coaching Strategies, Jill continues to make her own dreams come true by harnessing her unique skills and reaching out to the women she encounters to encourage, inspire, and guide them toward their own fulfillment. Jill’s website is Ask Jill Davis
by kathilipp | Nov 15, 2012 | Relationships, The Husband Project |

5 Marriage Blogs You Should be Reading
OK – so I get a little bossy when I’m blogging. But I really feel like all of us girls who are REALLY working hard to make our marriages better need all the love and encouragement we can get.
You already read my blog. And for that I’m glad, cause I’m all about taking those small steps to a great marriage. But as much I want to be all things to all married women, I cannot.
Here are a few people I’ve met along the way who encourage me in my marriage…
The Happy Wives Club
Fawn Weaver
Great Post: Becoming a Happy Wife
The Happy Wives Club Facebook Page
Why I love her: Fawn has literally traveled all over the world to talk with happy wives and see why they are that way. Her insights are fascinating, her writing smart, and her ideas practical. Love that.

Cheri Gregory
Cheri Gregory
Great Post: Do I Think Like Lover or Mother
Cheri Gregory’s Facebook Author Page
Why I Love Her: Cheri is an expert on the personalities. (She helped me write 21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids focusing on the personalities.) She is married to someone with her opposite personality, and in her blog she talks about the real stuff of marriage. I always come away a little marriage smarter after reading her blog.

To Love Honor and Vacuum
Sheila Wray Gregoire
Great Post: 31 Days to Great Sex is Here
Sheila Wray Gregoire’s Facebook Page
If there was every a girlfriend to give it to you straight (with enough humor to make you keep listening..) then Sheila is your woman. Love, love love her.

Time Warp Wife
Darlene Schacht
Great Post: 3 Ways to Create Unity in Your Marriage
Time Warp Wife’s Facebook Page
Why I love her: Darlene Tackles all the issues of marriage (kids, house stuff, sex,) with love, grace and godly wisdom. You will be encouraged, and you will change something you’re currently doing.

Spiritually Unequal Marriage
Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan
Great Blog Post: Redefining My Marriage
Spiritually Unequal Marriage’s Facebook Page
Why I Love Them: Dineen and Lynn have a great ministry to women (and some men) who are married to spouses who are not followers of Christ. I love their gentle, biblical approach to honor and love.
Q4U: Is there a great marriage blog that I missed that I should include in the next list? Tell me in the comments below so I can take a look!
Visit Kathi Lipp on Facebook here.
by kathilipp | Nov 13, 2012 | Relationships |

The Cross at the Center of a Marriage
Guest Post
by
Darlene Schacht
Looking back on those days when I was just a young woman stepping into marriage, I see this: what I said I expected and what I really expected were two different things.
What I planned on was spending the rest of my life with my best friend, what I didn’t foresee was that my love for this man would bring me to the cross time and again.
There’s something about the character of antiques that takes our breath away. They are unique, of precious value, and have stood the test of time. So it is with love that is preserved by a couple who care enough about their marriage to value its worth.
How do you preserve the worth of something so precious when the wear and tear of this world are bringing it down? You put the cross at the center of your marriage.
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” ~ Luke 9:23, KJV
The bumps in our marriage however big or small have always been surrounded by selfish ambition and pride. But when I move pride aside to make room for patience, understanding and kindness I see two hearts molding together as one.

Philippians 2 tells us to put on the mind of Christ, which tells me that I need to start thinking like Him who humbled Himself before man.
“But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men.” ~ Philippians 2:7, KJV
With that said, I’d like to add this: servant-hood isn’t about washing dishes or doing someone’s laundry–any dry cleaner or maid service can do that. It stems from a place in our heart where we give up our right to be “right,” for the good of our marriage.
Keeping house and making good meals for our family is an extension of that love, but it isn’t the root and never should be. A flower without root soon withers away, but one firmly planted has long-lasting beauty.
I challenge you to take on the heart of a servant who humbled Himself before God and man.
You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene
In T
he Good Wife’s Guide New York Times best-selling author Darlene Schacht encourages women to joyfully serve their families. In doing so she offers reasons for achieving a well-managed home backed by scripture and gleaned from experience. As well she provides readers with detailed cleaning and organizing schedules for practical application.
Darlene encourages women to make faith and family their first priorities from a place of sacrificial love, and reminds women that they were created with a specific purpose in mind, which is that of being a help meet. In supporting our husbands and living in unity we reflect God’s blueprint for marriage.
Enjoy a free chapter of The Good Wife’s Guide
The Good Wife’s Guide will help you:
- Group your life inventory and set your priorities
- Manage your time inside and outside of the home
- Create a home-management binder
- Create a warm atmosphere that your family will appreciate
- Understand your divinely-created purpose
- Find ways to communicate and handle conflict in your marriage
- Get your house organized and keep it that way
Darlene and her husband Michael live in Manitoba Canada. Married 24 years, they have four children (three still at home), two birds and a pug who is everyone’s baby, especially hers! Their lives are basically surrounded with three things: faith, music and everything books.
She’s an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God.
by kathilipp | Nov 12, 2012 | Marriage, Relationships, The Husband Project |

UPDATED: July 14, 2016: In the midst of The Husband Project online bible study with Proverbs 31, I wanted to share this older article with all my new friends working hard to love on their husband. It can be especially hard to know how to love on our men when he’s having a hard time. It can be depression, being overwhelmed, overly stressed, health issues, etc. As wives we CAN help even when we feel helpless.
I get some variation on this question a lot when I’m speaking: What should you I do when my husband is overwhelmed?
It could be because of work – or finances. Or there’s stuff going on with his parents, or in your family. Whatever the reason, we all know when it’s happening. Maybe he get’s really quiet and withdrawn. He may be in a place where talking about it (or just about anything,) is overwhelming. He’s exhausted, so either he sleeps all the time, or he doesn’t sleep at all.
You know what it looks like for your man. But when you see it happening, don’t just wait for the wave to pass. There are things you can do actively help your man during this difficult time.
Here are five things you can do right away when you realize that your husband is overwhelmed:
1. Lighten His Load
Are there things around the house that your husband normally does, that you, (or an older child) can do for him right now? Even hiring a teenager to mow the lawn could be just what your husband needs to know that you’ve got his back.
2. Pray for Him
Here are eight verses you can pray for your husband, right now, as he’s feeling overwhelmed. I think it’s important to let your husband know that you’re praying for him. Roger walks with new confidence when he knows that I’ve got his back, prayer-wise.
3. Feed Him
I don’t want it to seem like I’m making our guys into cavemen, but there is something about knowing where his next meal is coming from that can really make a man feel more secure. If you haven’t signed up for my newsletter, you can right now and receive my e-cookbook The Ultimate Guide to Man Food for some inspiration.
4. Sex or Physical Touch
Again – not trying to go caveman here, but sex is (for most men,) the biggest tension reliever he will experience. Setting aside some time (and even asking your parents if the kids can have a sleepover,)will do more for your husband than just about anything else. However, if he is in a place that sex is even an area of discouragement, offer a no-strings-attached massage, or head, hand or foot rub.
5. Words of Encouragement
One of the reasons your husband may be feeling overwhelmed is that he is feeling undervalued. What can you say to make him know that he is valued and respected?
- “Thanks for working so hard to provide for us. I appreciate all you do.”
- “I feel safe when I’m with you.”
- “You take such great care of me and the kids.”
- “I love how you lead our home.”
- “God blessed me so much by letting me be your wife.”
Want more ideas? Download my 21 Post-it-Note Encouragements.
Giveaway: July 14, 2016
Go to my Facebook page and respond to the question of the day for your chance to win a copy of Praying God’s Word for Your Husband.
Question of the day: How do you help your husband when he is overwhelmed by life?
by kathilipp | Nov 8, 2012 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Relationships |
Fifteen Dollar Family Fun Night
Try This:
Plan a Family Fun Night for some time in the next week.
Making the Connection
Is it really possible to feed a family of six and have fun, all for fifteen dollars? I dare you to find out! When my kids were young, we didn’t have the financial capacity to blow hundreds of dollars on family adventures. We never had front row seats to Broadway plays. Or season tickets to the 49ers. Or fancy dinners at those restaurants where you get to cook your meat over a little grill in the middle of the table.
Instead, we would have “Fifteen Dollar Family Night.” One family member (sometimes it was a kid, sometimes a parent) was in charge of the planning. The chosen planner would get fifteen dollars to feed and entertain the troops. Our family experienced everything from a bake-at-home pizza and a DVD of The Princess Bride to a home-packed picnic at the duck park followed by an afternoon at the local nickel arcade.
And while these adventures aren’t as glamorous as front-row tickets to the Taylor Swift concert, they ended up being experiences that we laughed and talked about for years to come.
We found many benefits to setting aside some time for family fun:
- Not only did Family Fun Night give us an opportunity to spend time together, it forced our kids to plan, budget, and take other people’s likes and dislikes into consideration.
- We found that giving the kids the chance to plan the event helped them enjoy this time a whole lot more. Our kids really got into it. Sometimes the event was a surprise to the rest of the family. On another occasion, Kimberly made invitations for everyone in the family so they would know what the evening held (as well as appropriate dress code).
- Having a limited budget has a special magical quality. With such limited funds for a night out, there was no resorting to a dinner out for everyone at your favorite family restaurant followed by the latest movie in the theaters.
Make Connecting Fun
Perhaps the best part about Family Fun Night is the unlimited number of variations. It doesn’t have to be fifteen dollars. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It doesn’t even have to be at night. You plan according to your family’s schedule and budget. Remember, the goal is to have a meal and some entertainment.
Check out Kathi’s Facebook Page for a Free Download of Fifteen Dollar Family Nights.
by kathilipp | Nov 7, 2012 | 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Relationships |
Write Your Child a Note
Try This:
Write your kid a love note.
Making the Connection
Back when my kids were younger, we kept a small, lidded basket better known as the “family mailbox” in the middle of our cluttered kitchen counter. And inside it, I’d often find sticky notes with the words “I love you, Mom,” written with green glitter pen in my daughter’s best nine-year-old cursive.
Our family mailbox was a great way to encourage each other and brighten our kids’ days. Even when my kids grew past the age of wanting notes in their brown-paper lunch bags where their friends could see them, they never minded finding a note or a small treat in the family mailbox.
Since then, I’ve learned that a handwritten and heartfelt note can go a long way to make someone feel loved, cared for, and appreciated. So for this connection, I want you to write your kid a love note and leave it somewhere where she’ll find it.
Make Connecting Fun
Here are a few ideas to get the ink flowing.
- Start a family mailbox. All you need is a basket, a pad of paper, and a pen. You can start the ball rolling by writing notes to each member of your family. You could start with a note of encouragement or maybe a Bible verse. End the note with a question, such as, “If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?” I promise you will get some fascinating mail in your little basket.
- Welcome your kid home with a note. I saw this on Pinterest. Use dry-erase markers to write “Welcome home! I love you!” on a china plate. Then prop up the plate on a plate stand and put it on the counter for your kids to see when they get home from school.
- Send notes in your kid’s lunch. In her book Love Notes in Lunchboxes: And Other Ideas to Color Your Child’s Day, Linda Gilden tells about the day her daughter said: “You know, Mom, I don’t really remember what you said in all those notes you wrote in my lunches. But I remember you wrote them and they always showed you cared. Some days I think all you said was, ‘Have a good day’ or ‘You are special,’ but it meant a lot. Just to know that you took the time to write a note and that you thought it was an important part of my lunch made my day. Most kids only had food in their lunch bags!”Yes, food is an essential part of the lunchbox. But even more important than the food for our children’s bodies is the food for their spirits. And it doesn’t have to be dispensed in a lunchbox. There are plenty of ways to encourage and affirm our children.
- Write out an acrostic using the letters of your child’s name. Hang it on their door or on the fridge so they can see how great you think they are.
J ust so funny
E nergetic
R eady for anything
E veryone loves him
M y favorite person to watch cartoons with
Y ou are a great kid!
- Send Scripture notes. Can’t think of what to write? God gave us a whole book of love notes. Just borrow one of His! Then add a few words of your own.
God’s Note: “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always” (1 Chronicles 16:11).
Mom’s or Dad’s note: Always trust God. He knows what’s best for you, and He is bigger than any problem you may have.
- Write a list. Jot down a quick list and leave it on a sticky note on the bathroom mirror where your child can see it when they brush their teeth or get ready for school. Try “Top Three Reasons I Love You” or “Top Five Reasons Our Family Is the Greatest” or “Top Five Reasons You Are My Favorite Lunchbox Kid.”
A Chance to Win:
Tell me what you’re going to write to your child and I’ll enter you in a drawing for a copy of 21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids!!! (Entries close at midnight on Friday PST.)