by kathilipp | Jul 6, 2016 | Blog, Marriage, Proverbs 31 OBS |
guest post by Kim Nowlin
One way we show our husbands we love them is by looking our best each day. Does that mean I am wearing a ball gown and full makeup everyday when he comes home? Not at all. In fact, there are seasons — think just had a baby — when you are lucky to get a shower each day. Let alone dress for your day! It’s about intention — “How can I look as good as possible when we come together again at the end of the day?” Sometimes all this means is you’re putting on a fresh pair of sweats and freshening up before he gets home.
As you go through The Husband Project Bible Study, I encourage you to dress each day to please your husband.
Here are some simple tips to dress to impress:
Dress for the season you are in: Looking your best does not require becoming a fashionista if that’s not your thing. The goal is to look our best in the season we are in. For example, I’m a stay at home mom who is occasionally a speaker at women’s events, so my wardrobe is primarily made up of jeans and t-shirts. The rest of my clothes dress up my everyday look — blazers, cardigans, and accessories. Nothing fancy! But my husband sees me in different versions of my “uniform” each day. And I am always dressed for my day when he comes home.
Dress for your day: Every day I “dress for my day” — somedays I am home all day doing chores, so I might have on my sweats. Before my husband comes home I make sure I take a few minutes to freshen up. On days I have dressed for being outside our home, I make sure I stay in that outfit until after he comes home and sees me before I change into something comfy.
Dress for your husband: Your husband may not care anything about fashion and may act like he doesn’t care about what you wear — dress to please him anyway. Show him you care about yourself and him by looking your best each day. If he communicates preferences, honor them whenever possible. For example, my husband loves my lips and likes to see them in red lipstick. He does not like to kiss my lipstick. Before he gets home I take off my lipstick so he has fresh lips to kiss.
Dressing for bed: I don’t know about you, but I am not into lingerie at all! I prefer t-shirts and shorts — preferably cotton. Thankfully, you can still show up to sexy time looking and feeling your best. You can find cute, comfy, sexy pajamas in a number of places — Target is my favorite. Not feeling super great about your body? Find the pieces showing off your best features in fabrics and colors making you feel great.
And remember — out of all the women in the world, he chose YOU! As Kathi says, “be visually generous” with your husband. Yours’ is the body he gets and wants to look at — dress it to please him!
Kim Nowlin is the Assistant Pastor at Valley Life Foursquare Church, in Santa Clara, and a Mentor Mom for MOPS.
With a background in fashion, most recently as a Personal Stylist for Anthropologie, Kim assists women in creating a Clutter Free Wardrobe that will enhance their true beauty in Christ.
Kim has been married to David for 15 years. They have two children, Olivia (13), and Adam (11).
by kathilipp | Jul 5, 2016 | Blog, Marriage, The Husband Project |
I’m at my mom’s house, and she’s just asked me to do the dishes.
I don’t want to.
Now don’t get me wrong; I would do just about anything for the woman who gave me life.
But doing the dishes at my mom’s house comes with a certain amount of built-in humility.
Because I know that as soon as I’m done loading the dishes into her dishwasher, she will rearrange them all.
And for the rest of the night I will seethe. Not because of wasted time or effort. But because of my mom’s deafening unspoken message: There is only one right way to load a dishwasher— my way. And you, dear daughter, have done it wrong. Again.
I’m a grown woman with four grown kids. I load a dishwasher at least once (and if I’ve actually cooked and we aren’t just washing coffee cups and cereal bowls? More than once) a day. But my mom always has to make sure that her dishwasher is loaded right.
For the rest of our visit, I’m going to be silently steaming over the dishwasher redo. Because let’s be honest; there isn’t one right way to load a dishwasher. There are about 300 “right” ways to do it.
Have you been there? You just want to love someone, serve them even, but their need to be right squashes your effort to show love?
Sadly, too many times, I’ve been the squasher when it comes to my husband.
When we first got married and blended our family, I knew the right way to run a house. I knew the right place to store the mixing bowls and the right place to keep milk in the fridge.
And I also knew the right way to discipline kids, have a happy marriage, and, well, just about everything.
What I forgot? Roger had a right way to do all of those things as well.
I’ve learned how vital it is to have our priorities in order. To ask ourselves, “Is my first calling to be right or to be in relationship?”
How can you tell? If your priority is to win, if it’s to get him to admit that he is wrong and you are right, if it’s to prove that he should always just do what you say when you disagree because, again, YOU WERE RIGHT, then clearly your priority is to be right.
In contrast, when you focus on being in relationship, you put your relationship before results. You care more about you two as a couple that any one outcome.
What about when you’re right (because I’m guessing that happens a lot,) and want to value your relationship more than the being right?
This is when the third R comes in: Respect.
You can disagree, champion your point, and be right all while maintaining the relationship as long you do so with respect.
When Roger and I are driving to the mall and clearly he is going a different direction than I think we should be heading, I’m tempted to say, “You’re going the wrong way! Again!”
Instead, I can use my favorite “Respect” secret weapon: a Clarifying Question.
Such as, “Is there someplace you wanted to go before the mall?”
And one of the greatest gifts in all of this going from right to respect and relationship is this: when there is less need to win, you both can win by being on each other’s team. You are not opposing each other; you’re linking arms to confront problems, together.
Philippians 2:3b
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Question of the day: What is one way you are going to focus on relationship over winning in your marriage this week?
GIVEAWAY TIME
Like my Facebook page, answer the question of the day on Facebook and you’ll be entered to win by book, Praying God’s Word for Your Husband.
The winner will be announced live on the live video tomorrow at 1:30PT.
by kathilipp | Jul 4, 2016 | Marriage, Podcast, The Husband Project |
WARNING: NOT FOR LITTLE EARS. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT ADULT CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE
Did you think we would have The Husband Project and NOT talk about sex? Of course not. So I brought in our resident sex-pert, Sheila Wray Gregoire, to share her wisdom.
As the author of the book The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) and creator of the website To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Sheila has done the research and can answer the most commonly asked questions that I hear (and all the others that I DON’T hear.)
So, put the earbuds in to listen if the kids are around because we are about to have some serious girl talk!
Sheila Wray Gregoire is a Christian speaker, columnist, and author. She’s written five books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She loves speaking about marriage, parenting, and keeping our eyes on Jesus. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband of 20 years and her two daughters, whom she homeschools.
by kathilipp | Jun 29, 2016 | Blog, Marriage, The Husband Project |
I hope you are having as much fun doing The Husband Project Online Bible Study as I am. My favorite thing is connecting with you all via Facebook, during our live daily video sessions, and emails. Oh and loving on my husband of course.
And I would love to hang out with you and your friends face to face. Let’s have a girl’s night out! Or a woman’s day in! Whatever works for your group. I would love to come to your church or community event and speak on The Husband Project.
So what does a Husband Project event look like?
Who: You, your girlfriends, and me! I am an author AND a speaker. Plus, the biggest cheerleader of making marriages great. In my events, I love to brings the fun, inspiration and marriage changing practical advice. I want you to have fun and go home inspired to put in the energy to make your marriage rock.
What: The Husband Project is a two session event. Each woman will walk away with a simple to-do plan for loving on their man no matter what the state of her marriage. By challenging women to complete this marriage building exercise together, this event also impacts the relationships between the women that attend drawing them closer into community with one another with a focus on loving their husbands.
Why: We all need some time to get together as women and be encouraged in our marriages! I speak about the importance of keeping your marriage fun and your husband encouraged as couples do life together for the long haul.
So how do we get this party on the calendar? If you are interested in inviting me to your next women’s event, or creating one for the women in your community,
click here, fill out the form and I or my fabulous booking agent (we call her the VP of Love here at Kathi Lipp headquarters) will contact you within 48 hours.
by kathilipp | Jun 28, 2016 | Blog, Love Your Husband, Marriage, Proverbs 31 OBS, The Husband Project, Uncategorized |
A man’s confidence is the key to his entire world. And he gets most of his sense of confidence through two places: his work and his wife.
It’s a big responsibility (especially if his work life isn’t all that fantastic) but one that we are called to as his wife.
Proverbs 31:26
She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
When God calls us to something, He also equips us with the ability to follow through. So before you start the internal tape of all the reasons why building up his confidence isn’t really your “job,” let’s talk about what happens when we don’t.
Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
OK, so now that we have that out of the way, let’s work together to come up with SIMPLE ways to build up your man.
5 simple ways to build your husband’s confidence:
- Verbally tell him why you love him — he works hard, he plays with the kids, he has the best butt, he treats your mom like a queen, etc. SO TELL HIM!
- Kiss him every single time you are parting ways and every time you come back together.
- Pray for him every day (check out my Pinterest board for suggestions on how to pray for him).
- Grab his hand when you are walking through Lowe’s. Place your hand on his leg next time you are out to dinner. Physical touch is a big deal to our guys and not just when it’s in the bedroom.
- Brag on him in front of others! This one is a huge deal. We know a couple that is very sarcastic with each other. But the wife recently confessed that sometimes her sarcasm comes out more like a complaint or putting her man down than just a funny jest (and usually it’s intentional). She has committed to bragging on him rather than putting him down in public, even if they are having a good verbal sarcasm session among friends.
For ideas on how to brag on your man and build your husband up, I have included a download you can use to help build your man’s confidence every single day.
DOWNLOAD BY CLICKING HERE>>>
It’s GIVEAWAY time!!!
I want to give away a My Husband is a Hottie T-Shirt to two people! To win, visit my Facebook page, like it and then comment on the post at the top of my page with the question:
What’s one way you have found you are able to build your husband’s confidence?
Then, during my daily The Husband Project video on Wednesday, I’ll announce the two winners LIVE!
by kathilipp | Jun 25, 2016 | Blog, Love Your Husband, Marriage, Proverbs 31 OBS |
For those of you joining me and Proverbs 31 for The Husband Project online bible study, you’ll be coming up with a few ways to date your husband in the coming weeks. And even if you aren’t doing the Bible study, money is one of the most often stated reasons for not dating your husband on a regular basis. I put together 20 date ideas that cost you $20 or less. And in case those of you that live in a big city don’t think it’s possible, Roger and I live in San Jose, CA so we know a thing or two about inflated prices.
Download your copy of 20 Dates for $20>>>
Enjoy your weekend and go plan a date with your man!
