by kathilipp | Mar 14, 2008 | The Husband Project |
Most guys don’t spend a lot of time hanging out with their buddies-you are their buddy. They married you to have a built in friend to do those things with (the fact that the two of you can have sex is definitely a bonus as well…)
My husband loves to go to the woods, build a fire and have a cookout. I’m more of an eating-out-with-white-tablecloths kind of girl. But, you know while we were dating, I was the happiest “camper” around. I would have hunted wild moose just to be with him.
It’s time to think about those things your husband loves to do with you-his buddy. Maybe it’s hiking up a mountain, hanging out at Best Buy, or watching his alma mater’s team play football at the local high school. Doesn’t matter if you like it or not-your fun will come from watching the look on your husband’s face as he reclaims some of his long forgotten loves. (Video gaming, anyone?)
Prayer for Today
Dear God, I pray that my husband can view me as his friend and lover, as you have designed.
Your Project:
Initiate a time to do something your husband used to love. Whether it’s his favorite hobby, sport or pastime, it’s time for you to get involved. Be his buddy today.
Tell us what you did that was like “back in the day…”. Click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 13, 2008 | The Husband Project |
It’s time to talk about sex, ladies.
Your man needs and wants sex, probably more than you do.
If a man feels like he’s desirable to you, the love of his life, the other areas that he may be struggling in (work, parenting, etc.) seem somehow more manageable.
One time this week, it’s your job to initiate sex. For some of you, this is going to be way beyond your comfort zone. Do what you can – if it means snuggling, do that. The idea here is to take the first step and be open and tender.
In my experience, it’s better to shoot for earlier in the week to “make your move,” so that if things come up (he has to work late, sick kids, etc.) you still have some time to check this off your list.
In preparation for your romantic evening, I encourage you to pick up a book on the subject. Let it be your inspiration in case things have become a little predictable (or downright non-existent).
Two of my favorites, both written by Dr. Kevin Leman:
“Sex Begins in the Kitchen” & “Sheet Music”
To leave a comment, click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 13, 2008 | The Husband Project |
How do you greet your husband at the end of a long day?
If you get home first, do you meet him at the door with a list of things that needs to be done, a list of complaints about your day, or perhaps, an armful of kids?
If he gets home before you, do you walk in with a list of demands for the rest of the night?
Most men are looking for are a few minutes to transition from work to home. Focus on his transition tonight. If you have kids, let them give dad a quick hug and tussle. If it’s just the two of you, give him a quick kiss then tell him the next half an hour is his to do with as he wishes; lay down, watch TV, read a book, play a video game-whatever. The choice is his.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, help me to drop the to-do list for my husband today and focus on who he is not just what he can do.
Getting Creative
There are plenty of reasons why it might not be easy for you to give your husband some transition time at the end of the day. We need to look at what can work for our relationship. Be creative, like the stories listed below. Brainstorm with your friends until you find a situation that will work for you and your guy.
- My friend, Joann, purposely scheduled her daughter’s dance classes twice a week at the same hour that her husband gets home from work. That way, her hubby comes home to an empty house. He gets some quiet, and she gets a more peaceful man.
- One husband has his workshop out in the garage. His wife encourages him to go and hang out there for a while before dinner. (Since starting this arrangement, her husband has started helping out with the after-dinner clean up. Nice side benefit.)
- Crock-pots are The Husband Project’s best friend. Set your crock-pot to finish thirty minutes after your husband gets home from work. Let him know you don’t need anything until dinner is ready.
- Some husbands want to connect with their wives for their 30 minutes (different guys, different needs…). One wife who worked on this project, made a point of asking her husband about his day instead of giving him a 30-minute answer to his question about her day.
Your Project:
Focus on your husband’s “transitional” 30 minutes today. Use one of the suggestions above or come up with our own plan. The point is to let your husband know you value what he does out in the world and there’s a safe loving place to come home and refresh at the end of the day.
Click here to let us know how your guy enjoyed his free time.
by kathilipp | Mar 12, 2008 | The Husband Project |
What does your husband consider relaxing?
One of the most marriage-testing conversations a couple can have takes place in the aisles of your local video store. You want romance and subtitles – he wants guns and grunts.
Let him win the media wars as you suggest an action-packed, car-chasing-things-exploding thriller.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, help me enjoy the things my husband enjoys. Let him see that I try to connect with him in ways that are big and small.
Getting Creative
- It doesn’t matter if this happens at home or the local Cineplex. Just find the movie and go.
- Don’t want your husband’s suspicions aroused? If you’re renting, perhaps get two movies – one you both agree on and one just for him.
Your Project:
Find a movie that he will love and watch it together – without whining.
Tell us about your macho movie night; click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 11, 2008 | The Husband Project |
Keep it simple today.
Put a Post-It in his briefcase, on his dashboard, in his wallet; anywhere he will find it. Make it fun, make it flirty, but just make sure he is the one who will find it. Wink-wink.
Prayer for Today
Wherever he is God, remind my husband that he is loved and thought of.
Getting Creative
Think about your husband’s day and all the places he might find your note:
- The spare change tray in his car
- His drawer in the bathroom
- Under his car keys
- Your mailbox
- In his shoe
- In the medicine cabinet
Your Project:
Leave a cute and flirty note for your husband to find.
To leave a comment click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 10, 2008 | The Husband Project |
Back to food.
One of our favorite getaway spots is a little bed and breakfast in the mountains. When you ask my husband why he likes it so much, you very well might hear about the cheese and cracker plate with fruit that is always waiting for us when we arrive.
It’s time to take a little of the B&B experience home.
Why not have a snack to share when he gets home? Some of his favorite nuts and chocolates up in your room, or some cheese and crackers out on the patio could be just the transition he needs after a long day.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, remind me to treat my husband with more care and honor than any guest who comes into our home.
Getting Creative
- My husband loves a special kind of root beer that we cannot keep in the house. (With four teenagers it’s hard to keep them from eating anything within their line of sight.) If I want to make sure he can have a cold drink after work, I hide it under the veggies in the crisper – no chance of the kids looking there.
- If your husband gets home before you do, plan ahead by hiding a treat in the fridge for him. Call during the day to let him know that it’s waiting for him.
To read ideas from other project managers, or to leave a comment click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 9, 2008 | The Husband Project |
My husband loves to go out to dinner. He promises me it has nothing to do with my cooking; he just likes the whole experience of dining on the town. Recently, I went to his favorite Mexican restaurant and got a gift card with just enough on it to cover dinner for two. When he drove into the garage that evening, I ambushed him and let him know that dinner was on me tonight.
With the car still running I jumped in and we headed to our slightly impromptu date night. That has probably been the most successful project for me so far – he still talks about how great it was to come home and see that it was all planned out.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, it’s my deepest desire that my husband knows he is loved and cherished. Let my words, planning and actions reflect that everyday.
Getting Creative
- If you don’t know whether your husband will be in the kind of mood that an ambush dinner requires, present him with the gift card to be used tonight, or another night of his choice.
- Steaks on the BBQ when he gets home may be just the thing your man would love.
- The aroma of cooking can be as much a part of this project as the food itself. Having lasagna baking in the oven with garlic bread ready to go would be most husbands’ dreams come true.
Your Project:
Make it his favorite meal – whether it’s eating out or eating in.
To read what other project managers have cooked up, or to leave a comment click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 8, 2008 | The Husband Project |
I keep a pretty frenetic pace in life. That along with the fact that we have four kids, has meant, sadly, sleeping in for my husband has become nothing but a distant memory.
Make an opportunity today to let your husband have the morning he would like. If he wants to sleep in, do what’s needed to make that happen. If his idea of a great morning is getting up and going for a run, or going to look at classic cars, make that happen – whether you go together or he wants to go by himself to linger, no worries. Any answer here is valid – just as long as it’s something that blesses him.
Obviously this is best done on his day off, so swap days accordingly.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, I pray that my husband finds places of rest in his day. Let me contribute to that today.
Getting Creative
- Let him in on your plans for his day off. You can ask him earlier in the week what he would like to do on his day off. Find out if you really need a babysitter, or would he like to hike with you and the kids in a nearby park?
- Start planning early in the week. The sooner you start planning, the less stress there will be to arrange for any last minute details. Remember, the point is not to stress you out; it’s to bless your guy.
Your Project:
Whatever it takes to let him have some time off, make it happen. That simple.
To read about others’ days off, or to leave a comment click here.
by kathilipp | Mar 7, 2008 | Uncategorized |
Congratulations to LE, our project manager who won this week’s $10 Bath & Body Works card by submitting the following comment regarding Project 12 What Not to Wear. (Click here to read more Project 12 comments.)
LE Says:
I was just telling my man the other day, I have noticed an improvement in an area that needed work. He smiled at me, I think he was glad I noticed.
To LE: Please contact us at kathi@thehusbandproject.org, so we can send your Bath & Body Works card right away.
To all Project Managers: Remember to submit your comments. Other project managers enjoy reading comments to get ideas and see how other hubbies are responding. Your comment can be short and sweet, or you can provide as many details as you like. With each entry your name is entered into our weekly drawing.
New Prize for This Week:
Be sure to enter a comment and have a chance to win one of my favorite books: “Only Uni” by Camy Tang. “The sassy narrative is solid chick lit, with all the requisite chatter about yummy food, body type, finding a guy and loser dates…” (Publisher’s Weekly). Click here to leave a comment and get entered today.
Keep up the blessings for your guy!
Kathi
by kathilipp | Mar 7, 2008 | The Husband Project |
One of the things our men are looking for is affirmation. If he knows that we find him desirable and attractive, it goes a long way in giving him confidence in other areas of his life.
What drew you to him in the first place? I know he had a great sense of humor, and was kind, but let’s go shallower than that. What physical attribute did you first notice about him? Was it his piercing green eyes, his crooked little smile, his cute butt? Remind him that he still “does it” for you.
Prayer for Today Dear God, may my husband know that I am attracted to him and choose him above all other guys.
Getting Creative Looking for inspiration? Check out the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament. Talk about knowing how to show your adoration – woo hoo.
- A little out of practice when it comes to flirting? Imagine what you would love to hear from your husband and turn it around on him.
- Walk in on him when he is on the shower, just stand there and when he asks what are you looking at, just sigh and say, “Just enjoying the show.”
- No fair using your womanly wiles on him when he is performing a household task. The words “Wow, you look so hot when you are scrubbing the toilet,” are not allowed.
Your Project: In some small way today, let your husband know you’re still attracted to him physically.
To see how others are “complimenting’ their guys, or to leave a comment click here.
