Friends, it’s Kathi here- I’m sure most of you know my sweet friend Renee Swope from Proverbs 31 or her wonderful radio spots heard absolutely everywhere. (Sometimes I’m sitting in the passenger seat swearing to Roger that I’m hearing voices – it’s just Renee talking to me through the radio.) Make sure you read down to the end of the post where Renee has several ways for you to win some of her latest resources.)
It had been a hard day, running too many errands with two small children. My three-year-old didn’t understand why we couldn’t buy every toy his tiny hands could touch. And he kept getting in and out of the grocery cart, and whining when I tried to stop him.
I was not a happy mama and wondered how all the other moms in the store seemed to know what they were doing.
Their children listened when they told them no and they wore matching outfits, too. I wondered how in the world those women pulled it off with a smile. I could barely get a shower, get my kids dressed and get us out the door before lunch.
When we got home that afternoon, I went looking for pink construction paper so I could write “I QUIT” on it and turn in my “pink slip” to my husband J.J. when he came home from work. I was tired of feeling like such a failure as a mom.
I couldn’t find pink construction paper, so I decided to pull out my journal. Filling blank pages with scribbled thoughts, I wrote:
I hate who I have become. I’m such a horrible mom. Why didn’t someone tell me how hard this was going to be? I’m frustrated with my kids and myself. I have no patience and I don’t know what I am doing! I feel guilty all the time. I couldn’t wait to be a mom and now I want to quit.”
Just as I finished writing that sentence, I sensed God whispering to my heart: Renee, You are so critical of yourself. You focus on your mistakes and beat yourself up with accusation and condemnation. Those are not My thoughts …”
It felt like a dam broke in my soul as I choked out the words, “God, I can’t do this. It’s just too much for me”
And in that place of surrender, Peace came over me. His gentleness calmed my nerves. It felt like God bent down before me to listen, and spoke to my heart: You are right, Renee. In your strength and through your perspective, you can’t do this. But with My promises, My presence and My power – all things are possible. I will help you.
Looking back on that day, my heart can’t help but echo the words of the Psalmist: “Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” Psalm 116:2 NLT
When we acknowledge that we are a mess on our own, God rushes to our side to help us. He bends down to show us that with His help, wisdom and guidance, we can become the confident praying mama we long to be, and the confident mom HE created us to be!
When I say… I can’t do this, God says… You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. Keep praying and depending on Me for help.
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
Today’s post from Renee Swope is a partial excerpt from her new A Confident Heart Devotional book. Used with permission from Revell Books.
Renee and JJ Swope have been married for over 20 years. They have three children: Joshua (19), Andrew (16) and their sweet Ethiopian princess who they brought home in 2009, at the age of 10 months. Renee is also a best-selling author, speaker and radio co-host with Proverbs 31 Ministries. The Swope family lives in North Carolina and she blogs at www.ReneeSwope.com.
About Renee’s NEW Confident Heart Devotional:Does self-doubt ever make you question your ability to be a good mom? Expanding on her best-selling book, A Confident Heart, Renee Swope has written a new 60-day devotional that will encourage, empower and equip you to live confidently in your God-given roles, relationships, and responsibilities! Each devotion also features a “When I Say…God Says…” statement with a Bible promise and a prayer to guide your thoughts and emotions that day. Plus you’ll LOVE an easy-reference chart that includes all sixty ”When I Say…God Says…” statements for days when you just need a promise to hold onto!
ENTER TO WIN 2 copies of Renee’s A Confident Heart Devotional book. Leave a comment below and let us know what friend you’d give it to and why, if you won 2 copies. Contest ends on February 20, 2014. CLICK HERE to find out how you can WIN a $50 gift card, 2 additional signed copies of Renee’s A Confident Heart Devotional book, and more!
Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this,
like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to
drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is
excellent blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.
I would love to give it to any one of my MOPS table friends, to enjoy with and encourage each other! As a wife and a mother, we all feel the need for self-worth, and I would love to share these experiences with them.
My sister and I didn’t really have a mother and kinda don’t know how to parent. Would love to read this and give my sister a copy 🙂
I would give it to my precious sister, Jennifer, who could really use some encouragement considering her extremely difficult marriage and family situation.
I would share it with my mops leadership team because it helps us to be better leaders when we are more confident in our roles as moms.
I would love to gift a copy to my dear sister in Christ Angi, who has blessed me so much over the past year!
I would give one to Janette! She is going through a rough time right now and that would encourage her and me
I’d give the copies to my two younger sisters- both incredible moms and wives. They have inspired and encouraged me as I ventured into motherhood this last year with the adoption of our two sons.
I would give this book to my youngest sister, Kim. Kim is a paraplegic whose first husband was killed two weeks before their son’s first birthday. Kim is the strongest person I know, and she tries to be the best mother for her son. She is too hard on herself and expects perfection from herself. She needs this book.
Your story was one that I remember wanting to do so many times. I basically had to raise my 2 children alone and I felt there was no one that I could turn to. Now I know better. I have a friend that is struggling big time about where God wants her to be and what she is supposed to do with her life. I’ve given her some books to read and advised her to pray, listen, pray, listen, listen, and listen. This book may be another tool to help her throught this rocky road.
Hello! I would give the book to Georgeta. She is an amazing woman who works full time at my place of work. Her presence lifts us all up, and I think this book would do the same for her 🙂
Oh how I found such peace in reading this passage yesterday! I could totally relate from beginning to end with this! My emotions were all over the place with recently giving birth to my 4th child, feeling overwhelmed with life itself this reading was a blessing! I would definitely Find a copy of this devotional beneficial to me at this point in my life .I would also consider blessing my mom and a friend of mine name Yolanda with a copy! Thank you so much mrs. Renee Swope for your continual inspiration!
A Confident Heart literally changed my life!! It was like God told Renee every little lie the devil was telling, so He could change my heart! Recently, I have noticed the same lies coming from the mouth of a friend at work. She has been depressed, and I can feel life dragging her down. I want her to know all the wisdom that God instilled in me through Renee’s book. It helped me to realize that God’s heart is full of love for me, and no human will be able to fill that place in my heart… For my coworker, I feel she could use these words as the world tries to beat her down. When we say we can’t do it, God says find your strength in me!
If I were to win I would give the copy to my adopted step daughter. I am 47 and unable to have my own children, which for my 20s & 30s made me angry at God. Then I meet my husband and his daughter. She was 8 when we married and things went well for a time. A few years after we married we were given the oppertunity to adopt my nephew and at the same time I adopted my step daughter. Then she became a teenager and things were VERY rocky. This of course put a strain on my marriage, but my marriage survived. She is now married and just celebrated her 3rd anniversary and has a 2 & 1 year old. Also within the last two years my husband and I have obtained custody of my 2 & 1 one year old niece and nephew. This has brought my husband and I closer and brought us much joy. The last 2 years have been trying and yet truly unbelievable! I think this book would truly be a help and a blessing to the both of us.
I’d give a copy of your devotional to my very busy daughter in law who has been blessed with a 9 year son and now 1 year old twin girls. Some days are more of a struggle than others and I’d love for her to know her true self worth.
I’m currently reading a confident heart and i have no doubt it is a book that was designed for me. I have struggled with confidence all my life. It began with an emotionally abusive father and because of the abuse i compromised who i was and it took me years to discover God’s truth about who I was. Confidence has been my biggest weakness and the enemy has used it against me, but no more captivity! I would love to have the daily devotional reminders to keep me grounded in the truth of what God’s word says against the lies the enemy tries to feed me. I would give a copy to my friend Shelly because she also struggles with confidence in areas of her life and I would love to share A Confident Heart with her.
I am 40 and on my second round of raising children. It is so hard, there is so much I want to teach them and know that I gave them everything they need to love God with all their heart, make good choices and live each day. I would give Kaely a copy of the book. She is a young mommy that loves God. She is a wonderful mom but questions herself at times. Fearing the present and future at times but knowing God is in control. She loves her daughter so much I think it scares her, knowing she can’t “protect” her forever. We have to allow them to grow and be their own person without our constant monitoring. God is faithful and it all belongs to him.
My best and dearest friend Carrie. She is my sister by heart, and she is going through a pretty icky divorce right now. She has been so stressed out and overwhelmed, and I would LOVE to give her something to expose her to God’s Word in a way that would lift her up, encourage her and maybe just give her strength for the day she is on. I would love for her to know how much God loves her, and that He will be walking with her through this next stage in her life.
My sister would get the second copy. She is mom to two boys under 5 and has started attending church and a bible study. Think she would benefit greatly from this devotional.
I would give this to my daughter. She has had two open heart surgeries, is a mom of two children, the youngest a challenge. My daughter just spent a night at the hospital, entering ER with chest pains, dizziness, and almost passed out in a store. She was kept for observation overnight, had a doctor appt for follow-up today. So far, everything points to stress/anxiety. Jennifer tends to be OCD, struggles to be a mom with enough energy to keep up with her kids. The youngest is two and very strong-willed. The oldest is nine. This recent event has left her feeling less than a good mom or wife, her health issues just seem to weigh her down. She is a terrific mom, and supports her husband who works full time and is going to school to get his Masters. I just want her to know that she needs God’s strength to help her through each day, and He has promised to be there for her. I have seen her struggle and want her to believe in herself, and live a confident, abundant life.
I would give a copy to my friend Renee because she is very critical of herself just like me. She is such a beautiful person, has a tender heart, and loves with everything she has. She needs to know just how special, precious, and loves by God she is. She has been through physical pain, accusations on her family which she is being falsely accused, lost a job, recently got a new job and all of this in the past 6 months. She loves Jesus, her husband, and her family with her whole heart and wants to please God first and her family as well. She is so precious, yet so fragile, and so very loved! She really could use the encouragement and is currently leading the “Confident Heart” on line Bible study in her home. Thanks 🙂
My friend, Erika and I just had a conversation tonight about how we are so critical of ourselves and feel inadequate so many times. I would give her the second copy to help encourage her and lift her up. Let her know that she is a great mommy because she is showing her kids love and teaching her children about Jesus.
I would give one to my friend Cathy. We are doing this mothering gig of little ones and try to encourage one another weekly to be in the Word and point them to Jesus. I know she and I would both love to read this.
This would be awesome to have. Anyone who knows me well knows I have wanted to quit motherhood many times. I would give a copy to my daughter-in-law who deals daily with my two beautiful granddaughters. Young mothers need all the encouragement they can get.
I would bless my best friend Keri with a copy. This is our 30th year as girlfriends and we share lifes journey as Christian wifes, Mom’s (who want to quit at times), sisters, daughters and friends. I could not imagine my world without her!
I would give this to Kristy. She has recently accepted the challenge to raise her 9 year old grandson, loves and leans on God for everything. She encourages me and I would be honored to encourage her as well.
I would up give it to one of my really good friends at church. She has dealt with a lot in her life and is going through some rough patches right now – both physically, mentally and spirituallyl
I would give this to my friend at church who has a child and I need the book badly because I’ve always wanted to quit many times. Was a mother of 3 for 6 yrs and now just had 4th child unexpectedly 🙂
I’d give a copy to my daughter. She is a wonderful mother but just like me she doubts herself and how good she is with them. I’ve always struggled with depression and my self esteem and I passed it on to her of course. I’m learning to just in God and His higher ways and to find my identity in God not myself. I pray for this for my daughter as well. Thank you Renee I just recently discovered you and love your style of teaching, I so relate. <3
I would give this to my friend Yvette who is going through a tough time right now and could use some encouraging and positive messages. This really hit home for me because I go through these feelings almost daily! I’m so thankful The Lord is always there for us!
I would give the second copy to my (almost) 14 year old granddaughter who has recently dedicated her life to being a Christian by being baptized into Christ. She needs positive reinforcement that is alright to be different and how other people (her peers at school) are not always supportive when you chose to be different.
I’d give it to my best friend who is a wonderful mom that struggles with many insecurities.
I would give a copy to my daughter in love as she is a brand new Mommy and working full time as a teacher plus finishing her Masters degree. She also is the wife of a Youth Pastor and helps my son greatly, she is part of their worship band too. I love her so much and want her to have all the help available to not feel like a failure ever.
I would give the second copy to my best friend, Debbie. We were college roommates and have stayed close ever since. She’s a mom to three awesome kids as well as a full-time teacher and part-time accompanist. She works so hard and often needs a reminder of just how valued she is.
I can relate very easily to this! Would give a copy to my sister as she is 3 years younger and trying to figure out how to balance a successful career and still be a wife and mom.
I would share a copy with my sister. We both serve as the “strong ones” in our families. Unfortunately, our own strength is never enough. I believe Renee’s book would serve as an encouragement to both of us and fill us with several reminders of where our strength and confidence truly lies.
I would share a copy with my Womens ministry team leader at church,so she could pass it on to someone who most needed it.
I would give this to my friend Cindy. She has a son with Autism and her sister is dying after a long battle with cancer. We talk often of feeling so overwhelmed and we encourage each other to continue to look up to our loving God who knows us and loves us and sees us. I think she would love this book. She is precious, too!
I’d give a copy to Becky, & actually I’d give the other copy away too since I have the Kindle version already! I’d have to pray about who else needs this book… I have found it to be fabulous so far! PTL!
After reading A Confident Heart with my small group friends last summer, I was tremendously impacted and I no longer focus on self confidence or lackthereof. Now I focus on placing my confidence in God and have delved deeper into His word in order to live now in His promises for my life. My younger sister is a busy wife and mother of a 1 yo and 4 yo who works outside of the home. I would share this devotional with her, in hopes that she too would open her heart to experience the true love of God. Blessings
There are two ladies I’d like to give this to. I guess I’d have to choose! One is a good friend who has two boys rather close together, one about my son’s age, both of whom can be challenges. I think (know) she struggles with confidence as a mom. She was a real estate lawyer before becoming a stay-at-home-mom, and I think the change has been hard on her. The other lady is my sister, who has 2 boys and a girl on the way. She seems rather confident, but I think we’d enjoy doing this study together.
Oooooo… This devotional looks so great! I would give the other book to my friend who isn’t walking with The Lord and is a new mom. I know she struggles through mothering like I do…. And both have felt like wanting to quit. But I have The Lord to lean on.
I’d give it to my best friend, Kathy, who has the same struggles with her two boys that I do. We deal with children with learning disabilities and always are there for each other. We pick each other up on the bad days and rejoice together on the good days along this journey of motherhood.
My good friend from college who God always brings to mind when we’re asked to pray for those who don’t know Jesus yet. I literally just read the lengthy email she wrote at 3 a.m. talking about her challenges with being a mom and a working professional. Her daughter turned one today and she thought it was supposed to get easier but it seems to have gotten more difficult.
I’d give a copy to Dora, a dear friend who just had her third baby and is with him in a children’s hospital.
I would give it to my best friend Kathy. We’re In the same stage of life little ones everywhere 🙂
I would give the book to my neighbor as she has one child and is battling the terrible twos!
If I were to win I would give a copy to my youngest daughter, Rebekah. Rebekah became a single mother one month ago today to the most precious little boy, my first grandson, Tristan Layne. Rebekah was in an abusive relationship while out of state at college. She found the strength to leave the relationship after finding out she was pregnant. She was so scared of everything. It has been 10 months and she is rebuilding her life, but she is still scared. Doubting her abilities to be the great mom we know God has called her to be. I would share this book with her – she needs this and so much more that I find I am unable to give or don’t give it in a way she can receive.
I were to win, I would give a copy to my sister-in-law, Angie, who I love and is going through a painful divorce after only 8 months of marriage. I want her to know how much God loves her and that he will never “unchoose “her.
I would give this to my sister April. She is a loving mommy but is so hard on herself!
I’d give a copy to my mom… She is extremely OCD and must have total perfection in everything, or all is wasted, even down to the way her towels are folded, (which she managed to pass along to the majority of her children, myself included) She is currently raising 2 more small children, my sister’s children whom my sister lost custody of… After raising 5 children of her own and 3 step daughters… All of whom she raised into wonderful, productive members of society, except the one sister who fell away and choose to get involved with the wrong crowd and drugs after high school… She can’t seem to see past the one ‘failure’ and realize that there are 7 more of us that turned out quite nicely… She sees that one wayward child as the definition of her life instead of seeing herself the way God (and her other 7 children) does/do…
My husband and I have 5 children, 4 girls and 1 boy… I work a full time and a part time job… I struggle with being on the verge of quitting daily… but the responsible adult in me keeps pushing forward, looking for God’s plan in it all…
Winning the books or not… Please feel free to keep us in your prayers…
We’ll take all interceding prayers we can…
I would give the second copy to my sister. She has been struggling for a while with being a mom to her two young children and also her two older children. Many days she feels like a failure.
I would give this to my beautiful sister who is going through some heartache right now.
My friend Lori and I are declutter buddies, as I work on my 2014 for 2014. I’d love to give her a copy. She is home schooling her 3rd, her 1st and 2nd now adults, as I am home schooling my 3rd, my 1st and 2nd now adults. We’re kindred spirits.
I would give this to a friend who has a child the same age as mine (age 9) , who both tend to be quite challenging . We both get frustrated and try to come up with solutions for keeping our patience without throwing our hands up in the air and saying “I quit”! My friend is trying to write a sequel to a children’s book that she wrote many years ago. I can see the frustration in trying to run a family and completing the book. I think this devotional and God’s word, will give her the desire to continue on and to finish that book and not give up while trying to do it “all”.
It would certainly be a gift for me because as much as I’ve taught about this very topic, I’ve struggled with its influence over me. I suppose that’s why I’m so passionate about teaching, because I’m reinforcing the truth in myself. I don’t know who I’d give the copy to right off the bat, as I’m not teaching at the moment, but I’m sure He’ll show me who to give it to in due time!
I’d give this to Traci, one of my best friends at church. She struggles with seeing herself as a great mom and wife, and this would bless her so much.
I’d give this to Abby, a friend of mine from graduate school. We both struggle with perfectionistic tendencies, and I think this would be a big help for us both.