I’m Having Gastric Sleeve Surgery. Here’s What I Want to Tell You…
Tuesday morning, Roger and I will be at the hospital at 5:30 AM and I will be going in for the gastric sleeve surgery. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, check out the Wikipedia page.)
While I’m a little nervous about the surgery, I’m mostly excited. (I liken it to when I had babies – excited about how my life is going to change, but also appreciating that I have no idea of all the ways it’s going to change.) But the thing I’ve been most nervous about? Telling people.
There is a lot of shame that comes with having a weight problem, (and for those of you who don’t have a weight issue, I know there are other areas that can land you in that shame place just as quickly) and while I’m not on the cover of People magazine, I do have a lot of friends and followers that I wanted to let know in some way. It feels a little weird putting it out on the internet for the world to see, but I would hate it even more if anyone thought I was trying to hide what I’m going through. Because for me, this weight thing is the biggest thing in my life.
I’ve always watched those shows like “Biggest Loser” or any talk show with someone who has lost weight as they’ve talked about how miserable their lives were before they lost weight, and how magical and fairy dust-covered their lives were after losing the weight, and here’s the thing: I could never relate.
Yes, I’ve had hard times in my life. I’ve gone through a painful divorce and been rejected by people I love, but one thing has remained true: I love my life. I love the God who loves me back. I have joy that not weight or circumstances can take away from me. On top of all that, I have a husband who adores me, a family that not only loves me, but likes me a whole lot of the time, friends that love and accept me, and the best dang job on planet earth.
I’m not having this surgery to change my life. I’m having this surgery so I can keep showing up for the life I already have.
Right now I’m in good health. (The intake nurse told me this morning that I was the easiest intake she’d had all month because I don’t have complications.) But I know what is shortly waiting for me around the corner: I already have high blood pressure, and I have a family history of diabetes, cancer, stroke and more. It’s possible that losing weight can help me avoid some of that. I want to have the surgery while I’m still a great candidate to do so.
This has been a lifelong struggle. When the nurses ask me when my weight problem started, I honestly can’t remember a time in my life when it hasn’t been an issue. And I’ve lost weight before. Two times I’ve lost more than 65 pounds, and 20 pounds a dozen times over. But I’ve always put the weight back on just as soon as any other struggle has come up in my life. And after a while, I had failed so many times that it was easier to give up than it is to fight my way back.
But whenever I would give up, sooner or later there was something that lurked inside of me that said, “Don’t give up. Keep fighting for your health.”
I’ll be honest. Ten years ago when I heard that people had weight loss surgery, I thought to myself, “Well that’s cheating. That’s not really how you’re supposed to do it.” Now ten years later, I think that people who say, “I’ve tried everything I know how to do, and now I’m trying one more thing, surgery” those are some brave people. It took me ten years to get to the point to stop giving up on myself and start speaking up and saying that I need help.
I was afraid to tell many of the people I love about the surgery, since I thought they would have a similar reaction. “That’s cheating.” or “I’m just going to pray that you don’t have to have the surgery.” I was especially afraid to tell people who I know had lost weight “The right way.” They were Weight Watcher leaders, and one friend founded an international weight loss program. And I was terrified to tell them.
Boy, did I need to have more faith in my friends.
Every person I respect, without exception, has expressed nothing but love and support for this decision. My friends who have done it “the right way” have been over the moon for me and have loved and supported me every step of the way.
This decision for surgery has come after a lot of discussion, soul-searching and support. I’ve consulted with my primary physician, a gastroenterologist, my psychologist, and a nutritionist and have even talked it over with my pastor. But most importantly, it has come after a lot of prayer. I now have the confidence that this is the right decision for me. It took me a long time to get there.
God has brought me through a huge learning curve about myself and his love for me, and people’s love for me. To those of you who’ve known and encouraged us, thank you for your unconditional love and support. I am grateful and I feel powerful because I know that I have so many people who love and are praying for me and Roger.
If this is something you are struggling with, I pray that your path would be made clear to you, whatever that might be. If you know someone who is struggling, I hope this may give you some insight into what they are going through.
Oh and one final thought: if you have some objection to the path I’m going down, please let love and support be your guide (in other words, Roger may delete any comment that isn’t helpful or constructive before it shows up on the blog!).
With great anticipation about what God is going to do,
Kathi
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Hi KATHY MAY GOD COUTINUE TO BLESS YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS I AM IN PRE OP GETTING READY FOR MY SURGERY IN MAY ALSO THIS IS MH FIRST SURGERY. I AM LOOKING SO FOWARD TO THAT DAY, I WISH YOU AND HUBBY MUCH SUCCESS. KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS:)
GOD BLESS
I have read this post a few times since the day you posted it. I wrote to you on FB as well. My surgery is scheduled for March. This journey to the surgery date has been over 2 years in the making, with me resisting every step of the way, thinking all sorts of things and trying for the bazillionth time to lose it (which I did and then gained it all back…again) . Thank you for writing the way that you do. My hardest thing is telling people too, but I don’t want to be dishonest about my shrinking self in a few months either. Maybe I will just link them over here and say, “what she said.”
Hey Michelle – Sorry If I missed another note from you. It’s been a big overwhelming. Just stopped to pray for you and what’s going to happen next. I think I had a pretty easy time of the surgery, and my prayer is that you will too. I’ve been totally honest with anyone who wants to know about my weight loss – it’s freeing to tell! I’ve only had a couple of negative reactions, but it’s so overwhelming the love and support – find those people in your life as well.
Thanks for this post it lessee me. I love hw you honor God I saw many online post but ths first to include Him around our decision to get healthy. I’m anticipating gastric sleeve in may 2014 and undergoing insurance checklist items right now. I was in valley of decision and continue the need prayer. Please pray for me and I will keep you all posted!!!
Prayed right now for you girl!!!
I gained weight much after starting to take some medications. But after I was approved to take the Roca Labs formula, I’m so happy that thinking that I’ll be able to have a normal weight again. Thanks!
Checking in to see how you are doing!
Kathy, I admire your honesty and openness! I pray God will put his healing hand on your body as you recover. I pray for for a successful outcome for you with no complications.
Only a few times in my life have I struggled with weight. Right now is one of them. An anti-depressant change caused a 40 lb increase for me over a year ago. Usually once I set my mind to losing the extra lbs I slim down. Not this time! I patiently wait for the scale to go down and my old clothes to fit.
I understand your choice. I respect you and applaud you!
Love,
Sharon Paavola
You are SO courageous and brave to be so authentic and transparent as you go through taking care of yourself in this way. I am so proud of you! You GO girl, and we’ll keep you covered in prayers.
Kathi – this just another place you and Jesus are going to forge together. Praying for an easy recovery and a blessed road from here. No doubt, there will be MANY things you’ll share later to make us laugh and encourage us all. Hugging you from Franklin, TN. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your heart, Kathi. I’m praying right now for a quick healing and no difficulties in your recovery.
I’m so glad, Sister, that you’ve made the decision that is right for *your* health. You’re the only one who can do that and you’re the only one who should do it. Way to go. I’m 100% for you, 100% behind you, and 100% in support of you and Roger. (Cathy H.)
Dear Kathi, I’ve been praying for you today. And woke up remembering you. May you feel as loved and supported as you truly are. Rest well, secure we are behind you this Thanksgiving, friend!
Kathi, read this post this morning but couldn’t comment so here I am at midnight still praying for a successful outcome, a speedy recovery and a blessed Thanksgiving for you and your family! God bless!
Kathi, I am just seeing this post now. As it is late on Tuesday evening, I hope that you are resting and beginning the healing process. You have strength, Lady, thank you for sharing with us and trusting us. I’m sure we all look forward to hearing from you again soon, AFTER you have had time to heal some. Take some well-deserved rest, Kathi. Hugs & Prayers!
Kathi, you are a strong, beautiful, funny, kind, and inspiring woman. And you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers today, Know that you are loved and surrounded by prayer! HUGS!
Cheering for you and praying you through today.
I love you dear friend! Your honesty and vulnerability are such an blessing to us all. I am so proud of you. You have my prayers and support. You are the third significant person in my life to make this courageous choice. The other two have never regretted it.
Praying and applauding you from Texas, sweet Friend! I can’t wait to see where your journey leads!
Praying for you today, my bright and shiny friend. God will use this for His glory – may you thrive in His embrace!
Praying your surgery goes well! May God strengthen and encourage you through this time as you work toward better health.
Praying for your doctors and the hospital staff as you have surgery, and for a speedy recovery free of complications. Hugs to you and your family.
Praying for you Kathi! Thank you for being so open and honest. It makes me respect you even more.
My prayers are with you, your family and medical team. On January 5th, I will be 4 years out from a gastric bypass. My mom had it done 3 weeks before I did. It was the best decision either of us made and I am blessed that we have walked down this road together. I started at 324lbs and my body has decided being in the 170’s is as good as it’s going to get for now. It’s not easy, but so very worth it!
Kathi, I love your transparency and honesty. You are an amazing writer and beautiful inside and out. You are doing the right thing for the right reasons. Hold your head up high and know I’m praying for you and Roger as you take this step.
Kathy, it is Tuesday morning and I am just reading this. I pray God goes before you into the operating room, that He would give you a keen awareness of His comforting, adorning presence in the recovery room, and I praise Him for the clarity He has given you in this journey. Your transparency is refreshing and inspiring. Love to you and your family.
Prayers for you and Roger! May you have a speedy recovery and know that so many of us just love you to death! Love your honesty…You rock Kathi!
Kathi, you are doing this for all the right reasons. Your words resonate with me. I, too, am continually fighting the battle of the bulge. God bless you! I am praying for you, the doctor and the outcome.
I just saw you at Heart at Home in MN earlier this month and started following you then….. well, you “story” that you wrote here… I could have wrote that a mere six years ago!! I was much more overweight that you at that time. I always thought of “surgery” as “cheating” previously too….. and I loved my life the way it was with family, friends and a God who loved me too! Although my health was still “good” I was facing potential issues down the road though… and I wanted to be around for this life I loved — just like you! So, in July of 2007 I had a Duodenial Switch. Most people had not heard of it either (as most know Gastric Bypass only). I don’t need to look up your surgery — it is very similar to mine! According to BMI charts I was 190 over weight (yes, you read that right)…. this 5’0″ girl was 318 pounds and I should have been 97-127 (Yikes!). Well, I never got close to that… but I DID loose 155 pounds…. and I am much healthier. Did it change my life? Well, I have more chooses in clothes and I can move a little easier. Buy otherwise no…. I still love my life and still have the family, friends, and God who love me! 🙂 However, I believe that I will be around longer to enjoy my life!
Maybe it’s because of where I came from, but I don’t “see weight.” I would never have looked at you and even thought you were overweight! I never saw my own weight at something to “hold me back” though either. In any case, I APPLAUD you for taking this step to improve your health and lengthen your life! I never regret for a minute my own decision. I too was afraid at first to tell people… but did tell people and even those who didn’t know me before I will share my story with today.
I am not sure if there are support groups specific to your surgery? I do know that our facebook support group for the Duodenial Switch does have many Gastric Sleeve patience on it…. as the surgeries are very similar. Come find it or let me know if you want the link.
God bless you! You’ll be in my prayers! Please don’t hesitate to contact me for support if you’d like!
Julie
Prayers for a successful surgery and recovery and steps towards a new life path
God Bless you Kathi! I believe we connected through friends that are writers. I went to a CLASS Writer’s Conference at Ghost Ranch, NM. I believe this is a great choice and I know Bart Millard has benefited with his Health issues. He was up front and honest like you are doing and I hope you are surrounded with a hedge of Protection and comfort through all the hospital and healing time. I pray my sister will consider this, for her health. She has so many health issues and there is no way she can do the things that would help her lose weight. The pain from her joint and vascular disease is too much. May God Bless you Today and your family, sisters and brothers in Christ. Thank you for sharing. Thanks also for the book. I really love your books.
Praying for you from Snowy New York. Blessings and goodness surround you as your body heals and you step into this new stage of life. Loved your perspective of losing weight to be able to show up for this abundant life that God has given to you. Will pray that you heal and experience life to the full!
It takes much courage to share what you have shared here, Kathi. So proud of you! May this surgery work beautifully for you, my friend. I’ll keep you in prayer!
Love and blessings!
Kathi, you are an inspiration and blessing to so many women. I am sending prayers and blessings for you this morning and your recovery.
To admit you need help is the bravest kind of brave you can be. You’ve inspired me to be a new kind of brave in my own life long struggles. Thank you Kathi.
My dear friend, Kathi…Wow! Can I say how much I appreciate your candor
and transparency. You have inspired me before this, in your humorous and
honest writings. Now, you inspire me to take a second look at the path
you’ve chosen to take, which I have considered briefly myself, FOR
myself. ((sigh)) I have struggled, like you, with weight issues for many
years- lost wieght, gained weight- gone on professional prgrams, read
books, asked others for advice, ‘dieted’, ‘lifestyled’…all without the
lasting weightloss i know that i need. Once upon a time, it was for
vanity– I-want-to-look-good-in-a-bathing-suit kind of vanity. Now, as I
turn 53 (tomorrow), am taking 8 medications, mostly due to excess
weight & ailing w/ various painful issues, vanity is the LAST thing
on my mind. Health and moveability, being there for my loved ones, comes
first. So, I, too, can understand where you are perhaps, because now I
am there myself. Perhaps now is the time for me to truly consider what i
used to consider as ‘last resort’. This IS my last resort towards
living. Kath, I want to thank you for your inspiration, because it has
caused me to revisit this path. Thank you for sharing your journey
openly. Know that Leland and I will be praying for you and your fam as
you go through this…We love you, Kath. Always have. I know that He
will be right there with you- with His caring arms around you. Please
pray that I gain wisdom in my fight, as well. Take care, friend. And let
us know if you need anything. We’re not so far away as we were 2 years
ago!! 😀 Give yourself, Rog and the kids hugs from us. We’re right here
with ya.
love,
katie
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all
the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on
me.
(NIV)
You are such a beautiful person and I appreciate your humor so very much that I have to tell you the truth….I never noticed that you are over weight. You will be in my prayers for heath, recovery and success. 🙂
Love you friend – and EXCITED FOR YOU!!
Your post reminds me of something a friend of mine used to say, “Calling WLS the ‘easy way out’ of obesity is like saying quadruple bypass is the ‘easy way out’ of heart disease. Sure…there are other ways to overcome the disease but only idiots intentionally choose the hard way.” You are making the right decision for you at this time and I promise you that all of your prayers, research and soul-searching will be well worth it. The road ahead won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Like you said, it’s about guaranteeing you can continue to show up to the life you love.
Praying for you lovely lady! May God bless all who are caring for you through this experience, help your body heal quickly and completely, and use this experience as He does so well, to help others which you do so well.
Hi Kathy! My story is similar. I got the lap band 8 years ago. Ive been HEAVY all my life and past 370 at my biggest. I know what its like not to want to tell anyone about the surgery. While I dont regret having it, I can tell you its not a “cure all” by any means. I learned I could eat through pain! and I “cheated” with milkshakes etc. And even though my eating would cause me pain and make me sick it didnt stop me. I have a LONG story…but the short version is…by surgery brought me to the truth of my disease and addiction. I surrendered to God and joined a food recovery program. CEA-HOW and FA showed me how to eat to live and live in recovery instead of the disease. I now maintain an over 200 lb weight loss. Check it out!
I’m so glad you are taking care of yourself. I think I speak for lots
of people when I say that, Lord willing, we’d like to have you around
for a lot longer! Thanks also for your powerful testimony that Jesus
changes lives. Jesus makes us whole. It’s Jesus –not weight loss or
any other illusive thing that hangs out in front of us just beyond our
reach. I’m praying for a smooth and successful surgery and recovery for
you!
I love you, dear Kathi, and will be praying. Your honesty tears my heart apart. I can’t imagine your struggle and know that this must have been one tough decision. All I know is I want you to stay healthy, be strong, and do whatever is necessary to keep blessing and helping people. Know that I am praying, dear friend. Thank you for your vulnerability. Love, Hugs, and PRAYERS!!!!
I one of my best friends is going in for the same surgery at noon tomorrow. I’ll be praying for you both
Once again your honesty triggers nothing but empathy, compassion and joy. You are in my prayers for a smooth procedure and transformational outcome. You are in His hands!
I’m so grateful for your honesty, Kathi! This is a struggle that so many of us face and to see you be so upfront and honest about your own journey will give many of us hope. God bless you. We will be praying for your quick recovery. Much Love, my friend!
God deals with each of us in His unique way, for our unique needs. Praying for a healthy outcome, and continued peace for you and the family.
In my opinion, there is no “right way” to lose weight. Whatever way you lose it is the right way and the best way to lose it! I, too have lost weight (my way) and did it for my health. I did it so I can potentially have many more years with my husband and sons. So I would be healthy to see them marry, hold my grandchildren and actually be able to play on the floor with them. I love who I am and where I have been on my weight journey and my life journey. I just really like myself more now that I can enjoy life without the achy knees, shortness of breath, and high blood pressure! I will be praying for a successful surgery, speedy recovery and a long, healthy life that you can continue to use to glorify God. I love you, sweet friend! Ruth Shave (and Kevin!)
Oh, Kathi, you know you are loved by Him and by us – all the time. So glad you have peace headed into this, and I will pray for it all to go smoothly, and for you to find just as much peace and joy on the other side, with improved health added to it.
Kathi, I was very blessed by your book, God will be with you when you walk through fire and water! (Isaiah 43:2) I’m from Brazil! God bless you! you are precious!