Today’s Project: Say something nice about your husband to someone else. Make sure you tell him what you said, and to whom.
As cliché as it may sound, our husbands want to be our heroes. More than they want to know that we love them, they want to know that we respect them. They need to know that they’re never the butt of our jokes, that they’re the go-to-guy in every story we tell.
Make an opportunity today to spread some great gossip about your man. It doesn’t matter if it’s one of your friends or one of his; let that somebody know how blessed you are to be married to your guy.
Some key phrases you may want to put on index cards to help you remember:
? “I feel so lucky to have a man who knows how to do his own laundry.”
? “You know when I knew that my husband really loved me? When he could remember my order at Starbucks.”
? “I just love the way he is with our kids.”
? “He makes the best lasagna on the planet.”
Steering the Ship
A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it (James 3: 3-4 The Message). That’s what great gossip is all about.
As wives, we are often the ship’s captain, while our husbands are that huge ship. Words spoken in encouragement and love can go a long way to building our men up. But the opposite is true as well. There is nothing that can determine the direction of our husband’s day quicker than the words that are spoken to him in the morning.
Sometimes as wives, we forget the role we play in our husband’s lives. We all remember that great line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, spoken by Toula’s mom, “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck. She tells him which way to turn.”
OK, I don’t tell my husband which way to turn, but I do have an influence about how he navigates through his day.
I know that I need to be especially careful about my tone. Sometimes I think I am just oh-so-witty, when really it’s coming off as sarcastic and biting. It’s not enough to just say kind and encouraging words. I need to make sure that whatever words I choose only build up my husband, never tear him down.
That’s what great gossip is all about.
Death to the Dufus Dad
Our world encourages us to define our husbands by what is lacking in them. Need proof? Just turn on your TV.
Watch any channel for more than ten minutes and you’re almost assured of seeing some man playing the role of the dufus dad. You know the one; his wife is always right, his kids don’t respect him, and he’s the punch line of every joke, accompanied by a laugh track. Even his best friend, the dog, thinks he’s kind of a moron.
I feel like it’s time for a man revolution in our generation. No, I don’t want to go back to the times where women were tethered to the oven by their ever-present strand of pearls. But, I do want to see a place where men are allowed to be men and they can be respected for it.
My warrior cry will be, “Death to the Dufus Dad!”
But I digress.
OK – so you have bragged on your husband, now what?
Once you have done your bragging, let your husband know what you said, and to whom. He needs to know that he is the good guy in every story you tell.
With our friends, we have a lot of influence over the “tone” of our speech. Here’s how my friend, Michelle, puts it when it comes to steering away from complaining about her husband, Rick:
“I love this Project and have practiced it for years, even when I was irritated with my husband. Sometimes hearing yourself point out the good stuff gives you the power to change your own perception of something that’s annoying — of course, not that Rick is EVER annoying.
Another thing I think about… how women can help other women. When a woman is complaining about her husband (not confiding, because I think there’s a difference and we should be there for our buddies), but when it’s a light-hearted complaint, where a friend may be stuck in a rut, thinking about something in regard to her husband, I try and gently encourage her to see the goodness in her husband. I might say something like, “Yeah, he likes to watch football, but think of how he’s also bonding with your sons by sharing something they have in common!” You know, I try to find the silver lining and ‘illuminate’ that for my friend.”
While your greatest need may be for your husband to tell you that he loves you, most guys are programmed differently. He wants, at his very core, to know that you respect him. He wants to know that you are proud of him and that he is the one you would choose again if given the chance.
This goes a long way to solidifying you as a team, as well. There’s no way that anyone in my family would ever say a word against
my husband. They know that I’m on his side, and it’s a gossip-free zone around me (unless the gossip is about how great he is.)
So to be entered into today’s giveaway: 1. Tell us something awesome about your husband, and then tell your husband that you bragged on him.
And what will you win? A copy of The “What’s for Dinner?” Solution. Food and flattery – does it get any better for a guy?
THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!
My wonderful husband gets up early in the morning when the baby is crying and brings him to me to nurse. He also helps with the laundry more than any other husband, I think. We don’t have a place to hook up a waher, so we have to haul our laindry to town, and he takes it and does it as mucj or more than I do
After having at stroke at age 26, pregnant with my 3rd child, then having my child premature, i went through depression. My husband “picked up the slack” and he was up with the baby every night – he literally wore himself out, working and such. And now, his love and dedication to our family is amazing! Softball, baseball, church and his love for me. He is the most amazing hubby ever!! <3
my husband makes me coffee every morning
Hubby takes off work to go with our 6yo to all her field trips.
My 2 year old woke up with the flu this morning and my hubby still let me sleep in and took care of him. If you knew my hubby you would know that was quite the sacrifice for him as he HATES to clean up vomit just about more than ANYTHING else in the world! He’s the very best! 🙂
I did this one today w/out reading the email first! I bragged about him on FB about how he aced his midterms!! I had to tell him this because i know he wouldn’t have seen the post and he was trying to hide his excitement that I did this!
Congratulations you are the winner! PLease email bronwyn@kathilipp.com
My husband today had to have a test at the hospital on his back before he can have a surgery the doctor says he needs & the nurses & workers told me He was the Best patient they have ever had! I told them He is the Best at alot of things!
We try to have a date night every other weekend. This last weekend, my husband noticed that our teenage daughters hadn’t done anything fun in awhile. He decided to include them on our date which we had a coupon for 2 hours of unlimited bowling. He thought they deserved a little fun and what better way then to take them along with us. I couldn’t believe how considerate he was to what them to go out and have a little fun too! He is very thoughtful stepdad!
I love how my husband spends time with the kids – puzzles, games, tickles. He’s even brave enough to take all 3 of them somewhere when he can tell I’m on the verge of a breakdown. Love that guy!
My husband looks in my eyes. Whether we are talking affectionately or whether I am beginning to get irritated, he stays close & looks me in the eye. And if I will take the time to look back, I see in his eyes the sincerity of his love.
I had a doctors appt today, and had to go to work afterwords at the building across the street. My husband waited for me and drove me to work so I wouldn’t have to cross the busy street. 🙂
My husband is an amazing dad and can fix or build just about anything.
I have rheumatoid arthritir. My sweet husband cleans the house for me…sweeps. mops, dusts everything. He is so good to me.
My husband is my biggest encourager and supporter. He is always cheering me on and spurring me to be the women God created me to be.
My husband never says, “I told you so,” or “See?” even though I do all the time and need to stop.
My husband is a wonderful friend to me (my best) and he’s a great friend to others too!
I have your “My Husband Rocks” picture as my Timeline banner and I try really hard to only say good things about him online. He’s a great guy and I want my friends to be saying they heard something good about him!
My husband loves to be active with our girls and never turns down a dance party with them.
My husband is great with our 7 month old daughter! I love how excited she is to see him when he gets home from work and vice versa! 🙂
My husband is awesome about cleaning up the house! Often after a long day at work he will begin preparing for dinner and find out what I need done so we can eat. He does so much around the house. If there is a pile of laundry that needs folding, he will usually fold it and put it away! He is also a great daddy! Playing with our boys in a way I never can. 🙂 I love to watch them build a relationship with their daddy, because he is a really great guy to look up to.
My husband is a good cook and he is the one who cooks dinner for the
family most nights. He is also great with the kids and if I am out of
the house for the evening he can keep things running smoothly without my
assistance. I am a lucky girl!
My husband loves to talk to me about his passion. He will discuss what he has done at someones home to help them with a plumbing problem. I listen as he tells me the problem and what he did to correct it. I at times have no clue what he is talking about. He loves working with plumbing and solving problems for people.
My husband is great at stepping up with our rambunctious little one just when I am running out of steam, or building up too much steam. At those times I am ready to blow my top he shows me so much about how to be gentle differently with her.
I am so lucky to have a man that goes to my
events with me (even when he doesn’t want to), goes to work everyday to
provide for his family so I can stay home with the boys, can do his own
laundry (when I let him!), is a great father and an amazing husband all
around! I love you babe and am so glad to call you MY Husband!
I posted this on Facebook for all to see how much I truly love my hubby! Plus he is a hottie!
My husband is always asking me how he can help in the evenings. Just to be able to delegate a few things every night really takes a lot of weight off my shoulders after working all day. He does all the laundry (although I do put it all away :)), and never forgets to take out the trash and lock up the house for the night. Also, he tells me he loves me every single day of 15 years of marriage. I am a lucky girl!
My husband is a great dad. He gets our son’s stuff ready in the morning to make it easier to grab and go on busy mornings. He also takes good care of our son when I travel for work.
My husband is so kind to me. That’s why I fell for him; as I’ve told many people, when I met him, I thought that he had the kindest eyes I’d ever seen. He’s a loving father and he does much of the housework. He never, ever complains. Even when I give in to the perimenopausal “snappies,” (oh, I try not to, but those hormones are like the Evil One is guiding my words) or verbally attack him on a very bad day, he just hugs me and tells me that tomorrow will be better. I love him…
My husband is such a good dad that he will go outside in the dark to play basketball with our son just cause our son wanted to. There could have been a million excuses (such as it’s dark outside, etc…) but nope, he choose to say sure. I couldn’t be happier to coparent with such a wonderful father.
My husband washes the dishes for me every day. He also helps me clean house and does a wonderful job. God gave me a fantastic husband.
My husband is the most optimistic person I know. He seems to always be able to see the good in people and the brighter side of a situation. And I love how he has grown in his role as the spiritual leader of our home.
H chMy husband is a huge help around the house! I have some disabilities, he just jumps in without complaining. I have seen marriages fall apart when a spouse becomes disabled, but I have never doubted his commitment to me! Not only that he is good to carve out one on one time to be with each of our kids!!!!:)
I have a lot I could brag about but I guess I would say the biggest thing right now is that we are a team and he is there with me while we deal with some tough family issues. I couldn’t handle any of it without him.
I came home late (10:30pm!) from work last night and he had cleaned the kitchen! AND remembered to give the little one medicine for his ear infection! WOOP WOOP!
My husband and I are 4 weeks from having our second child. I have been overwhelmed lately with everything I need to get done before she gets here. My husband is also a pastor and we have been dealing with some conflicts at church. This project couldn’t have come at a better time cause I need to encourage my husband as much and I need to be encouraged! Today I am going to post a public “good gossip” tweet about how much he has helped me. Last night he helped me with the laundry after he got home from a deacons meeting when he realized I have forgotten about it. I love him so much!
My husband is always helping me when I need advice and encourages me in my walk with the Lord. Besides that if he did not shovel me out from our snow storm last weekend I would have not made it to work. Thanks honey!
My husband is a very loving person and also a great father to our kids. He is a good provider to our family and is a hard worker. There are so many great good qualities in him that I can keep going on and on…..Hes awesome and I would always choose him for my husband.
Wow, where do I start!? I love how my husband makes time for the children. He doesn’t have any hobbies anymore, so that he can spend time with them. He is also so thoughtful of me even in the little areas. Thank you for your blog!
One big way to gossip on our husbands is to put it out there on facebook. Instantly, tell all your friends you’re still committed to the relationship!
My gossip: I love that my husband drives us to church. He doesn’t just go, but he leads us there safely. 🙂
My husband is awesome with my children. He works physically hard each day and comes home exhausted, but still somehow has the energy to play with them. Last night he sat and colored pictures with them while I did the dishes. It’s great because he gives me a little break just when I need it.
I love how my husband always puts our ( the family) needs before his own. He would give up anything for our safety and happiness.
I love that my husband cooks – and enjoys it. The gleam he gets in his eyes while he’s creating in the kitchen makes him sexy!
My husband rocks most of the time anyway. He always makes me laugh and he is an awesome dad. He is a fantastic leader and I have been so impressed with what he has been accomplishing at work and in our church. All in all, I would pick him every time!
My husband treats me like a queen and he is an amazing father to our three boys.
I am proud of my husband for earning his BBA while we had seven children living in the house and he went on for his Masters Degree (three children remaining at that point). There were lots of things that could have steered him off course, but he stuck to it and got through it. Although he is facing increasing health difficulties due to being an insulin-dependent diabetic for the last 36 years and just experienced his first amputation, he plans to move forward and earn the DBA (Doctor of Business Administration). He is setting a good example for our children, showing them how important it is to get an education and that it can be done in spite of the odds that may be against them.
My husband is such a hard worker. He has the best work ethic and excels in everything (school, housework, cooking!) he tries. It also helps that he is one smart cookie! 😉