It was a full blown panic.
A start-calling-the-name-of-Jesus panic.
I had two speaking engagements on Saturday; one was a breast cancer research benefit for my fellow author Susy Flory in her home about an hour away. The other was for a local church in my hometown of San Jose.
I was packed up and ready to go. In fact, I had time to stop at Starbucks with plenty of time to get to Susy’s. So I am sitting in the drive thru line at Starbucks, and realize I had left my iPod at home. No problem! I could listen to some tunes on my iPad that I had brought for my notes. (Yes. I’m like all those hipster pastors who preach from their iPads. Word.)I hooked up the iPad to my car’s stereo and…
The problem?
I touched the power button and nothing. Nada.
How could it be? I had charged it all the night before. I should have had battery to spare. But there I was, staring at a blank screen.
AGGGGHHHH
Yes, I had plenty of time to get to Susy’s. But not if I had to go back home (20 minutes) boot up my computer and print the speech (10 minutes) and then recover the lost ground, (another 20 minutes.) I would love to say that I started praying. But really, it was panic and a lot of pleading.
“God, please help me recall my speech. I will do anything if you help me remember it all. Help me, Help me…” And that’s when I heard his voice…
Andy Stanley’s voice. It was coming from the car stereo.
I couldn’t figure it out? How was I listening to one of Andy’s podcasts on leadership if my iPad was out of juice? And that’s when I made one of those “slap-yourself-on-the-forhead-it-would-be-hilarious-if-it-happened-to-someone-else-discoveries”…
I couldn’t see that the iPad screen was on the whole time because I was wearing polarized sunglasses.
All I had to do to see that the iPad was working the whole time was to take off my sunglasses.
UM – are we talkin’ metaphor or what?
It’s like my prayer earlier. God is there waiting the whole time – asking me to come to him with every single need. (Even an iPad that’s on the fritz.) But because of fear, it’s as if I can’t see Him. I just resort to fear.
And that’s usually why I can’t see God: fear. Or it’s close cousin, bitterness.
What gets in the way of you seeing Jesus?
Kathi, I laughed out loud at the image of you taking off your glasses to be able to see. Isn’t that just the way we do things–we look through the wrong lenses. I pray you are doing well, my friend. Hope we can connect again soon! (And thanks again for endorsing The Authentic You: Becoming the Woman You Were Created to Be.)
Kathi, this is so hilarious. I am always experiencing mishaps with my iPad that are the direct result of operator error. You made me laugh out loud.
I’m posting about The Me Project on my blog tomorrow and I hope you’ll check it out. http://www.RuralSocialite.blogspot.com
Thanks for everything you do!
Oh wow. Great analogy!!!
I’d have to say all to often it is my own self that gets in the way. And I hate it so much.
Thanks Kathi for sharing and being so honest. For me, what gets in the way of seeing Jesus is sometimes bitterness about what is happening in my life and doubt that God cares about what is happening in my life. And yet, when I look back over a particular situation, it is so clear that God was in control.
I love it! We can go into panic mode so easy! Just the thought of not having internet, or homework done, or bills paid, can send me into a tizzy! (Yes I said tizzy!) I love the peace that Jesus gives us through prayer, however sometimes it takes us way to long to get to the prayin’!
Im glad that it worked out, however I’m sure you would have done fine without your notes, you are a great speaker!
I love when a moment of panic like that turns out to be unwarranted. It always makes me think that since *that* didn’t go wrong, life is beautiful and I’m worry free. Well, at least for an hour or so.
I am amazed how God talks to us through the stories of others. I was just finishing my quiet time in the Word. I was reading the passage in Mathew 23:23-26. Where Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees. That they were blind guides, and hyprocrites. They could not see that Jesus was the son because they were blinded with arrogant pride that they follow the laws correctly. They made sure to clean their cups from the outside but the inside was in much need of a good clean up.
One of my problems is fear of the what ifs. What if I get in an accident, what if I forget something. I forget that God is in control and that fear is not of God.
Thanks for sharing your story.